Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 1357 ｜ Baby 4! Overcoming Birth Fears & Knowing When to Add One More

00:00:00.640 All right. We've got a big announcement in the Stucky home. We will be going into all of it on

00:00:05.760 today's episode of Relatable. We will also be diving into this Jesse Ridgway story,

00:00:10.600 the horrible announcement that he and his wife aborted their child with Down syndrome,

00:00:15.220 then presented themselves as victims. But a question people are asking, and for good reason, 0.96

00:00:19.360 is did that really happen? We've got all of this and more on today's episode. It's brought to you

00:00:24.700 by our friends at Good Ranchers. Get all American meat for Father's Day for the Relatable in your 0.88

00:00:30.380 life. Go to GoodRanchers.com, use code Allie at checkout for a discount. That's GoodRanchers.com,

00:00:35.180 code Allie. Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. Happy Monday. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend,

00:00:50.400 that your week is going well so far, breaking news, God's eternal plan of redemption. It is

00:00:56.660 going off without a hitch. Nothing surprises God. Nothing takes him aback. Nothing throws him off.

00:01:01.380 He's never caught off guard. He's never looking down, wondering what the heck is going on. How

00:01:05.520 did that happen? That is true about every single detail of your life, every single one, even the

00:01:11.620 thing that was a huge curve ball for you that you did not see headed your way. God saw it because

00:01:17.120 he is completely sovereign. He is not bound by linear time or space the way that we are.

00:01:22.480 And Romans 8, 28 reminds us that God works all things, all means all, every single thing together

00:01:28.380 for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose. And that's not just the

00:01:32.240 things that seem good to us. That's the things that seem really bad to us, that are bad to us,

00:01:36.880 that seem completely without purpose. God is in the business of giving purpose. He is in the

00:01:42.200 business of infusing purpose into things that seem meaningless. And there's no wasted second

00:01:48.280 in the life of the believer. That is the beautiful privilege that we have as Christians,

00:01:52.940 that everything that we do gets to echo in eternity. And mostly that's unseen and unsung.

00:01:59.200 Mostly that seems mundane. Sometimes that's things that are really hard. Sometimes it's

00:02:03.360 things that are easy. Sometimes it's things that are wonderful. And sometimes it's things that just

00:02:07.840 seem plain awful, all of that echoes in eternity and is doing something because of the God who is

00:02:14.940 in the business of redemption. And so that's one thing I am extremely thankful for when I look at

00:02:21.700 not only our own lives, but also the state of the world, the evil that goes on, the people who don't

00:02:26.400 understand justice, who can't see right from wrong, who celebrate depravity. I could go on and on

00:02:31.760 listing all of the examples of that. And we'll talk about some of them later this week, specifically

00:02:36.520 when it comes to the Carmelo Anthony trial and everything going on there, the conversation about

00:02:41.420 justice. We'll talk about that on Wednesday, but I just remember the God who created justice,

00:02:46.720 the God who created all of us, the God who is love. He knows what he's doing and he's coming

00:02:51.240 back. And that victory is his. It is sure. And one day we won't have any debates. We won't have

00:02:56.700 any disagreements. We will live in perfect peace with him forever and ever. And that can be your

00:03:01.280 future too, if by grace through faith, you believe in Christ. And so good news to start out a week,

00:03:06.660 to start out every single day. And sometimes you just really need to preach that message to yourself

00:03:12.460 as a mode of peace, as a way to infuse joy into your life when things are hard. Um, well, you

00:03:19.920 might've seen the announcement by now. There is a very good, wonderful blessing going on that has

00:03:25.920 been given to us by the Lord in the Stuckey family. And that was announced exclusively by

00:03:30.460 the conservative outlet, The Conservator. Yes, Chief Related Bro and I are expecting baby number

00:03:36.400 four who will be arriving, Lord willing, sometime this fall. And so we'll talk about pregnancy today

00:03:44.020 and all different kinds of things related to that decision-making and all of that good stuff. But

00:03:49.120 first, I just want to go through some of this article. So the title is, While Preparing for

00:03:53.520 Baby Number Four, Allie Beth Stuckey is Challenging Christian Womanhood's Biggest

00:03:59.340 myth. So I'll just read some quotes from that. And then I want to give you my own commentary 0.58

00:04:03.980 because of course, not everything that I want to say can ever be, uh, you know, distilled in any

00:04:10.340 article. It's a great article. I'm so thankful to the conservator, really fun to work with them.

00:04:14.840 But I also just want to add a little bit more commentary to some points that I made. Um, so

00:04:20.360 one of the biggest myths in Christian womanhood, and I could list several and have for many years

00:04:26.480 now, but the idea that one biblical womanhood and so-called traditional womanhood or being a

00:04:35.780 so-called trad wife are completely synonymous. That is one myth. And then also the idea that

00:04:41.840 your life does not begin as a woman. Your calling as a Christian does not begin as a woman until

00:04:47.920 you get married, until you have children. My argument is not that those things cannot bring

00:04:53.640 a level of fulfillment because they absolutely do. They're good and wonderful blessings. The

00:04:57.820 biggest earthly blessings I have in this life are my family, my husband, and my children.

00:05:03.000 However, they are not the pinnacle of your fulfillment and satisfaction. Christ is,

00:05:09.120 which means you can have that right now if you are a Christian, no matter what stage of life

00:05:13.140 you're in. So here's my quote from the conservator. You do not have to bake sourdough.

00:05:17.720 You do not have to homeschool. You do not have to wear only floral dresses. You do not have to

00:05:23.120 homestead in order to be a biblical wife. Scandalous to some people, but I think a few

00:05:28.340 years ago that wouldn't have been seen as scandalous. But today we've kind of conflated

00:05:32.940 the tradesthetic, which is a social media trend for some people. I'm not saying it's not genuine

00:05:38.080 for many people with being a biblical woman. And it's not always the same thing. I love sourdough

00:05:43.960 bread. I can't eat gluten. And so it's a little tough for me, but I love sourdough bread. I love

00:05:48.660 homeschooling. I think that it's great. I think that it is super beneficial and can be super

00:05:54.840 beneficial for your children. I love floral dresses. Actually, most of the time that you

00:06:00.500 see me, I will be in some kind of floral maxi dress. And I think homesteading is great. I can't

00:06:05.880 say that I am a homesteader, but I think homesteading is great. I think it's wonderful.

00:06:11.160 I love homesteading. But the distinction matters between that and biblical womanhood 0.89

00:06:16.880 because people have confused the two. They've confused faithfulness with tradition. And so I

00:06:23.160 say, we are not going after tradition as Christians. We are going after what biblical

00:06:28.080 standards are. And the article states completely correctly that a biblical woman, she argues,

00:06:34.740 can faithfully serve God from a Manhattan apartment, a suburban neighborhood, or a rural

00:06:38.780 homestead. She could be changing diapers, studying for an exam, managing a business,

00:06:42.400 or caring for her family. Now that is all true. At the same time, of course, if you have, if you

00:06:48.040 are married and if you have children, especially if you have little children, that is your priority

00:06:52.660 in that stage of your life. And that doesn't mean you can never do other things. It doesn't mean

00:06:57.760 that you can't create art. It doesn't mean that you can't host a podcast. It doesn't mean that

00:07:01.000 you can't speak or that you can't write, but the ordering of your life absolutely does matter.

00:07:06.120 But this is speaking to women who are in different seasons of their life. I don't want a woman who 1.00

00:07:12.140 as a student to think, well, I'm not fully a woman or fully a Christian woman who can be satisfied

00:07:17.340 in Christ and can live out my calling because, well, I'm still a student, or I haven't met my

00:07:24.200 husband yet, and so I'm managing this Etsy business, or I am in marketing or PR, and so I'm

00:07:31.140 not fully a genuine, sincere Christian woman. That is just not true because the standard is not

00:07:37.460 aesthetics, the argument echoes, the standard is obedience. And I say being a biblical woman

00:07:42.980 in this moment is doing the next right thing in faith with excellence and for the glory of God.

00:07:49.260 And then I also talk about therapy culture. This is another part of the article and we'll link it.

00:07:54.560 You absolutely should go read the whole thing. But one thing that I know that is also seen as

00:07:58.960 kind of scandalous, but we've talked about many times and in many different ways for many years

00:08:03.740 on this podcast, I argue that the biggest problem among women and Christian women in particular is 0.99

00:08:08.420 what I call therapy culture. The article says she points to the growing popularity of self-help

00:08:13.020 language, self-affirmation, messaging, inner child therapy concepts, therapeutic frameworks that

00:08:18.060 increasingly influence Christian spaces. I say, ultimately, I think all of these psychological

00:08:22.460 ideas elevate the God of self rather than leading us to Christ and encouraging us towards self-denial.

00:08:27.700 Now, of course, as I've said to you, there is truth infused in each of these concepts.

00:08:33.740 um, a part of truth, but they're only true in so far as they are biblical, but they very quickly

00:08:40.320 go outside the biblical realm that elevate the self rather than lead us into the self-denial

00:08:45.580 that Christ calls us to. Um, the modern message I argue says happiness is found by looking inward.

00:08:52.080 Christianity says fulfillment is found by looking to Christ. And of course that is true. And so I 0.99

00:08:58.980 just want to encourage you, go read the article. I want to make clear that when I am talking about

00:09:05.420 marriage and when I am talking about children, it's not to minimize the importance, the foundational

00:09:12.060 importance of these things, or to say that you won't find a level of fulfillment there,

00:09:16.200 or that you shouldn't desire these things as a single woman. They're very good desires. The

00:09:20.580 Bible starts with the marriage and ends with the marriage. One of the first commands that we see 0.86

00:09:23.820 in scripture is be fruitful and multiply. It's a wonderful thing and children are a gift, but I

00:09:28.380 just want you to know that if you're struggling with infertility, if you have not found the man

00:09:33.880 that God has for you yet, you are not in a waiting period for joy. Like you are not sitting in a

00:09:41.020 waiting room saying, okay, one day I can be a biblical woman. One day I will find the fullness

00:09:46.380 of joy that Jesus has for me. Psalm 16 says the fullness of joy is found in his presence at his

00:09:51.900 right hand. So don't just sit there and wait and say, okay, this time is about finding myself and

00:09:57.260 making myself happy. Go serve the church, go help children, go work hard. Like what can you do for

00:10:03.360 the glory of God to make the small speck of the earth, the tiny spot of eternity on which God has

00:10:08.860 placed you better for his glory and the good of other people. That is what all of us are called

00:10:13.140 to no matter what stage of life that you're in. And that is the crux of my argument. All right,

00:10:18.780 let's get to what I know a lot of you want to hear me talk about, which is pregnancy, deciding

00:10:24.320 to have another child because we talked about that for a long time in light of some of my past

00:10:30.400 delivery woes and then how I found out I was pregnant, how I'm feeling and all of that good

00:10:37.340 stuff. So we'll get to that in just a second. Let me pause. Let me tell you about our first

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00:11:46.760 also just want to remind you guys come to share the arrows if you're a christian woman share

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00:12:13.660 It's going to be so good. Share the Arrows is brought to you by Range Lather this year.

00:12:18.700 So thousands and thousands of Christian women for a gospel-centered, no-fluff 0.99

00:12:24.140 biblical teaching conference, sharethearrows.com. All right. Let me talk to you about pregnancy, 0.66

00:12:31.520 y'all. So you might remember a past conversation that I had with Lila Rose on this podcast about

00:12:36.480 a year ago. And we were talking about how do you use discernment in deciding to have more children?

00:12:44.620 How do you know when you are done having more children? Are Christians obligated to have a 0.99

00:12:50.480 child every year if they can? And I still don't know all of the answers to that. I've talked to 0.95

00:12:56.440 women who have four children. I've talked to women who have 10 children. And while yes, it absolutely

00:13:02.900 is a blessing and I think a command to be fruitful and multiply. I also believe that a lot of this

00:13:11.060 depends on your heart posture. A lot of this depends on your motivations. And a lot of this

00:13:16.060 depends on your particular circumstances. Should we, as a principal, of course, trust the Lord

00:13:22.760 with everything, including how many children we have, including with our bodies, including with

00:13:28.480 our finances. Absolutely. But can I say in every situation that you should have another child right

00:13:34.680 now when I don't know everything going on with your health, when I don't know everything going

00:13:38.820 on in your home? I can't say that. And so I do believe that there is also wisdom and mentorship

00:13:46.240 that God gives us as gifts to make any good decision. And so we decided to add another

00:13:56.160 little one to our family or to try to add another little one to our family. And it's not because,

00:14:01.220 um, my past births somehow in my memory got easier. All of them were difficult in their

00:14:08.360 own ways. I had two unwanted unplanned C-sections, uh, with my first, the first one I would say was

00:14:15.260 traumatic in some ways, although I can't, I can't say that it was, um, you know, as difficult as

00:14:20.580 some people's births. Thankfully I and all of my children are healthy and I'm very grateful for

00:14:27.620 that. Um, but first one really pressured into a C-section that was completely and totally

00:14:32.060 unnecessary. The recovery was really hard. I've talked about all of my births on past podcast

00:14:37.680 episodes. You can go back and listen to them. And then my second one, I really wanted a V back

00:14:43.240 and went into labor naturally at about 41 weeks, but she had some heart decelerations. I had a

00:14:49.840 high fever, ended up that we had this infection going on. And so we actually did need to deliver

00:14:56.040 her via C-section. And then third, I did have a successful V-back after two C-sections, which

00:15:01.980 I found is very rare because whenever I tell people the ordering of my births and the kind

00:15:07.560 of births that I had, they're like, hang on a second. You had your V-back. You had that after

00:15:12.660 your two C-sections. And yes, and I'm so thankful for that. I don't regret that at all. However,

00:15:17.400 in my experience, and this is not to deter you from trying to have a VBAC, the recovery from

00:15:24.740 that was much more difficult than I thought that it would be. I thought, okay, this is birth as

00:15:29.700 God intended it. And so it's going to be easy. It's going to be an easy recovery. No big deal.

00:15:34.180 Actually, the physical recovery from that, and in some ways the emotional recovery from that,

00:15:39.440 I would say, I don't know if I could say it was my hardest one because the first was really hard,

00:15:43.620 but it was really difficult. It wasn't just up and at them. I'm, I'm feeling great. Um,

00:15:49.860 after a couple of days, it was much harder than I thought. And there were many times when I thought

00:15:53.820 and said, I just don't do it in this again. And you know what? Three totally respectable number

00:15:58.760 of kids to have happy being a girl, mom happy with three kids. And honestly, I can't tell you

00:16:06.000 there was some revelation that we had, um, anytime after that. I can't pinpoint a time when I thought,

00:16:13.240 okay, yeah, we're, we definitely need to have more. I'm convicted. I just feel called. We have

00:16:19.300 to have more. It was just kind of a softening over time. It was just kind of getting things together

00:16:26.500 and realizing, okay, I think that we could do this again. And I think that this would be good.

00:16:33.380 And we prayed about it and we thought about it and we talked about it and we decided, okay,

00:16:37.700 let's go for it. And the Lord was gracious to, um, grant us baby number four. And let's see,

00:16:45.140 I found out, I decided, okay. So, um, I obviously I knew that it was a possibility, but it's crazy

00:16:53.660 how, you know, it's a possibility when you're trying to get pregnant and still it never,

00:16:58.440 the shock never disappoints. Like you're always just really surprised when that, uh, pregnancy

00:17:04.980 test reads positive. I've had lots of negative pregnancy tests in my life. And so you just kind

00:17:10.600 of expect that to be the result again. But I decided to take a pregnancy test on my birthday

00:17:17.860 because I was like, you know what? It's way too early, not way too early, but it was like a week

00:17:22.660 too early, earlier than I would typically take a test. But I was like, but if it is positive,

00:17:27.160 it would be super fun because it's my birthday. And so I just decided that I was going to take

00:17:32.160 a pregnancy test the morning of my birthday, February 18th. And, um, you know, I take those

00:17:38.120 digital tests and in the past when those digital tests have been positive, every single time I've

00:17:43.740 had a positive result, I've always, um, used one of those digital tests and every time it's been

00:17:48.980 positive, it's gone really fast. And if y'all have taken one of those tests, you know, I'm talking

00:17:52.180 about the little blinking squares, like go really fast when it's positive. Well, this was taking

00:17:56.300 forever. I was sitting in our room. Chief related bro did not know this was happening. He was in

00:18:00.580 another room. I was actually with our oldest daughter who did kind of understand what was

00:18:05.920 going on, but maybe didn't understand the level of excitement and anticipation. So I took the

00:18:10.740 test and I just was like, this is taking forever. It's going to be negative. It's fine. I'm not

00:18:14.520 even, you know, I'll take another one in a week. I'm not even going to be disappointed. It'll be

00:18:18.580 okay. And I put it under my pillow and I waited, waited, waited, and it took forever. And then I

00:18:25.080 brought it into the bathroom. And then I flipped it over and it said, pregnant. And I couldn't

00:18:31.240 believe it. And of course, the days following that, you take a million other tests just to

00:18:35.800 make sure. I think I took like 10 tests just to verify that I was really pregnant. And obviously,

00:18:40.560 we were so excited. Chief Related Bro came in and I told him like immediately. And we told our

00:18:46.760 oldest, OK, it's really early. Like, I think I was like three, three and a half weeks pregnant.

00:18:51.400 And so I was like, okay, our oldest, I was like, I please don't go tell people like, please don't

00:18:59.360 announce this to everyone. Like, this is just for us. This is something special that didn't work.

00:19:04.500 Okay. She was too excited. She was overwhelmed with excitement about this. Um, and so people

00:19:11.080 in our lives knew pretty quickly and we were excited to tell people, but I knew that I was

00:19:16.200 going to wait to tell y'all until, you know, sometime in the second trimester, which is what

00:19:23.720 I'm in right now. And that's just cause you just want to make sure that all is good. And if anything

00:19:28.820 happened with the pregnancy, I would want to be able to kind of like mourn that privately and

00:19:35.880 talk to my family and all of that before feeling an obligation to announce to everyone, um, that

00:19:41.960 that is something that occurred just because you get messages about pregnancy, all that,

00:19:46.300 all that kind of stuff. Um, and so now we're well into the second trimester and just praying for,

00:19:51.700 uh, continued smooth pregnancy, smooth delivery and all of that. Um, the, before I talk about

00:19:57.540 like how I'm thinking about delivery, I'll just talk about pregnancy and how I felt, uh, this

00:20:02.540 has been a harder pregnancy. The first, the first 12 weeks were really hard. And probably if you go

00:20:08.480 back and you watch some of those episodes. Um, I don't know. March was tough. March and April were

00:20:15.500 tough. I was really nauseous and I was really tired and I had a headache and I did not feel

00:20:22.580 good and nothing tasted good. And I just felt completely depleted, completely depleted. And

00:20:30.000 I was trying to figure out, is this the same as past pregnancies? I'll tell you, I'll tell you

00:20:35.820 what I felt like. I felt like the one day, if you go back and you watch the first time that I

00:20:41.020 interviewed sweet ginger Duggar Volo, that was, I was nine weeks pregnant with my third baby

00:20:46.820 at that point. And you can see it. I'm like in a hoodie and my hair slicked back in a bun and I

00:20:52.540 have like no makeup on and I am so tired. Well, that one terrible feeling day is how I felt most

00:21:00.520 days in my first trimester. But thank you Lord for the second trimester. I know some people stay

00:21:05.280 feeling that bad all through pregnancy, I started feeling a lot better. And we do know the gender.

00:21:11.140 I don't think I'm going to announce the dinner to you all until birth. I think I'm just going

00:21:15.740 to keep that a surprise. Um, but we were, you know, we're, we were going to be excited either

00:21:21.800 way. Um, when, when we found out. And so of course we are, we're happy. And so, um, everything

00:21:29.180 is all good with that thus far. Now, how I am feeling about birth V back, all of that. I don't

00:21:37.700 know. You know, I don't, I don't know. Like I, I, I'm honestly not to be frank. I'm not really

00:21:43.980 thinking about it. I'm not really preparing for it. I feel like in my second and third pregnancies,

00:21:49.240 because I wanted to be back so badly, I was already listening to podcasts and birth stories

00:21:53.940 and talking to people and preparing and reading books. And I probably will get to that at some

00:22:00.100 point, but I feel more open-handed about my birth than I ever have. I really felt so much like I

00:22:07.380 had to control the outcome and I wanted a specific kind of birth so much. And it's not that I don't

00:22:12.600 care. Of course I care, but now I've had both kinds of birth and I'm like, ah, I've done it.

00:22:17.340 I've done it both ways. Like, I just feel like I, okay, whatever happens happens. And maybe that's

00:22:22.980 not the best mentality, but there's nothing I can do about it right now. Anyway, I have quite a while

00:22:27.460 until we get there. And, um, yeah, I'm just, I'm not anxious about it right now. I can't say that

00:22:33.580 I won't be anxious about it when the time comes. Um, but right now I'm just not really thinking

00:22:40.100 about it. Um, so yeah, for those of you who are wondering if I'm planning to be back and all of

00:22:46.280 that? Yes, I think so, but it's not a top of mind. Pregnancies really do go by so much more quickly,

00:22:54.460 the more kids you have. And this one has flown by. If you are wondering, wait, your baby is due

00:23:01.240 in the fall and you have share the arrows October 10th. It's October 10th, not October 11th. Um,

00:23:08.240 yeah, I'm going to be huge. Yeah. I'm going to be huge. I am going to be, it is, it was not within

00:23:13.840 my window of birth yet. Plus I always give birth late. Like my babies always arrive like after 40

00:23:24.680 weeks, like 41, 42 weeks even. And so I don't know if it'll be like this, this time, but share

00:23:30.780 the arrows is not quite in my window of delivery, not quite full term, but really close. So I'm

00:23:38.400 going to be waddling. They're going to have to, you know, those productions are like planned

00:23:43.540 down to the second, y'all are going to have to give me like 30 more seconds to at least maybe

00:23:48.840 three more minutes to walk down that aisle and to get up on the stage. Chief Related Bro is going to

00:23:54.040 be carrying me. I'm probably going to have to sit down. Maybe I'll have to sit down for my speech

00:24:00.060 and I'll have to have one of those chairs that like swirls around. I'll be like on a lazy Susan

00:24:05.300 or something and I'll be sitting on a chair and y'all can just spin me around and I can talk to

00:24:11.040 everyone. Um, that way that will help alleviate my pregnancy pain. So no, it'll be all good. Um,

00:24:18.820 and yeah, that's it. That's how we're feeling. And I feel good because there are so many things

00:24:23.280 that I've wanted to share with you guys about pregnancy and I haven't been able to talk about

00:24:28.060 it. And a lot of you guys have speculated that I'm pregnant. And I do just want to say to the

00:24:33.120 conspiracy theorists out there who thought like, Oh, she's changed her set. She's trying to hide 0.55

00:24:38.620 it. That's not true. None of the set changes have anything to do with pregnancy or trying

00:24:43.300 to hide my baby bump or anything. I haven't really tried to hide it that hard because

00:24:47.340 I don't really care if people speculate. And so no, we just decided to announce it when

00:24:52.980 it was best to announce and that's it. All right. I'm sure there will be more to talk

00:24:57.100 about that soon. Now let's get into a story that I've been wanting to discuss. Quick

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00:25:54.960 okay so if you haven't heard about this awful story which i think most of you probably have

00:26:04.640 because you're following on instagram on x lots of people have been rightly talking about it

00:26:09.460 and it's this youtuber this youtuber named jesse ridgeway he goes by mcjugger nuggets and he has

00:26:16.600 over 4 million subscribers okay so we probably wouldn't be talking about this story if the post

00:26:21.320 had not gone viral. And if this person didn't have so much influence, especially over young

00:26:25.880 people. Okay. Very, very popular YouTuber. He is married and they have been documenting their

00:26:32.600 pregnancy. They have been, um, chronicling and, you know, monetizing a discussion about the

00:26:39.980 sonogram, finding out that they're pregnant and all of that good stuff. But then on X,

00:26:44.400 he posted this long post saying my wife and I made the very difficult decision to terminate

00:26:49.940 the pregnancy. That's a euphemism for killing the child due to trisomy 21. Trisomy 21, it's a

00:26:57.360 genetic condition that's caused by an extra copy of the 21st chromosome, but it's most commonly

00:27:02.380 known as Down syndrome. So unlike a trisomy or trisomy 18 or some of these other chromosomal

00:27:11.660 anomalies, Down syndrome is not immediately fatal. And some of these other chromosomal

00:27:17.440 abnormalities are not immediately fatal, but they are more so. Many times babies who are born with

00:27:23.220 trisomy 18, for example, they might die inside the womb or they might die minutes after birth.

00:27:28.700 Now, those people are just as valuable. They should also not be snuffed out inside the womb.

00:27:33.340 But I think it's interesting that he used this terminology, even though he knows that people,

00:27:38.480 most people know what Down syndrome is. It's almost like he wanted to present this as something

00:27:43.160 like my baby is going to die in the womb at any moment. And we wanted to end his or her suffering.

00:27:48.640 And that's not what happened. Not that that would justify it, but it does seem like that's what he

00:27:53.640 was trying to do at first. He said, this choice was not made lightly on X. He said, I know some

00:27:59.920 of you may be very disappointed to hear this news. We are devastated. This has been extremely traumatic

00:28:05.220 for both of us, especially Ashley, who is his wife. She underwent the procedure earlier this

00:28:12.700 week and is on the mend. Thankfully, everything was smoothly, but emotionally we are drained.

00:28:18.840 So as I said, he's been posting, um, about this pregnancy for a while. He posted in March,

00:28:25.880 baby Ridgeway coming fall, 2026. They made a video, um, talking about their positive

00:28:32.700 pregnancy test. Um, and then they made another video talking about their, um, amniocentesis

00:28:40.140 test where they take amniotic fluid to get a diagnosis of something like down syndrome and

00:28:46.580 here is that video of them getting the results set too it says abnormal insight result

00:28:54.620 followed that showed three chromosome 21 signals consistent with trisomy 21 down syndrome

00:29:01.100 genetic counseling is recommended pattern consistent with trisomy 21

00:29:10.140 we talked before this guys about what would we do if we confronted this scenario

00:29:17.880 um because this was the more likely scenario we talked about terminating the pregnancy

00:29:24.580 obviously things could change because this is traumatic like very traumatic

00:29:30.000 okay um the rest of his ex post talks about um all the problems that down syndrome people can

00:29:39.080 have. 50% of babies have heart defects. 75% will have hearing challenges. 50% have vision problems.

00:29:45.860 They'd be fully dependent on others for the rest of their life. Genetic counselors, friends,

00:29:52.320 family, talk to them, learn that 90% of women terminate their pregnancy after this diagnosis.

00:29:57.800 And, um, you know, he said a lot of judgment is being cast. And so there was obviously a big

00:30:05.020 response to this. A lot of pro-lifers, even some people who are pro-choice, but think that this is

00:30:11.840 discriminatory against people with special needs had a negative reaction to this. He said things

00:30:17.580 like, look, we're trying for a better outcome. He said Down syndrome is basically a genetic glitch,

00:30:24.360 which is dehumanizing language. My response was, this is really sad. Babies with Down syndrome are

00:30:29.060 no less people and therefore no less worthy of life than anyone else. This can't be framed in

00:30:33.580 a way that sounds virtuous or selfless. The only victim in this scenario is the baby. And I think

00:30:38.260 that's so important for pro-abortion people and pro-lifers to understand is that typically the

00:30:44.520 only victim in an abortion situation is the baby. Yes, sometimes the woman is a victim. If she has

00:30:50.780 been raped, if she has been coerced into having an abortion, then absolutely she is also a victim.

00:30:55.740 But you are not a victim just because you had an abortion. Just because you choose an abortion, 0.83

00:31:01.440 you've got some emotional turmoil over that, which by the way is conviction, you are not a victim.

00:31:08.080 It is sad, yes, that they had sad emotions because of course there are more considerations

00:31:14.700 and more difficulties that come with raising a child with special needs. Of course that is true,

00:31:20.860 but you monetize that reaction. You not only monetized your baby's little life, but then

00:31:26.100 you monetized his death and not just his death, but also his murder. And then you want people to

00:31:31.780 feel sympathetic toward you. He reacted to the backlash that he's had. He said that he's seen

00:31:38.420 the worst of humanity and people pointing out that, hey, like this is really grotesque what

00:31:43.200 you're saying. This is morally chilling that you are admitting and trying to euphemize

00:31:48.680 euthanizing a baby. I said, you're not the victim here. You used your baby for content and profit

00:31:55.140 until you realize that he wasn't, he wasn't your preferred quote unquote outcome. You exploited

00:32:01.040 him. Then you had him killed. Then you used his murder to make more content. It is grotesque and 0.99

00:32:06.900 it is quite heartbreaking. Now, the thing about this person is that he is not without compassion

00:32:13.260 for vulnerable entities. We'll say earlier in May, Jesse celebrated the sixth birthday of his dog

00:32:19.900 who was diagnosed with stage four kidney disease the previous year at the time. He was told the

00:32:25.520 dog would only live a few more weeks. Uh, we have a picture that we should put up. Um, here we are

00:32:31.660 a whole year later. She is still fighting. She is in the 0.001% of superhero dogs that continue 0.59

00:32:39.800 living with no kidneys. So that life was worth sacrificing for his dog was worth paying lots and

00:32:48.560 lots of money for, doing everything you could to keep this dog alive, even though your dog

00:32:53.540 has special needs, will not live a very long time. That dog apparently was more worthy of life than

00:33:00.500 their living child. Okay. The contrast there just goes to show the disordered nature of the human

00:33:07.500 heart. When we are given over to sin, the truth is, is that a child with special needs would be

00:33:14.100 much more of a quote unquote burden for longer in a parent's life than a dog. And it seems to me

00:33:20.760 like he didn't want that. And that just wasn't the picture that he had for his son or daughter.

00:33:28.520 Then we have people who actually think that what he said was totally fine. We've got leftists on

00:33:34.360 Twitter saying things like, this is someone named John Carter. I find it genuinely baffling that

00:33:39.240 people are piling onto this guy. Is there any level of congenital defect at which Christians

00:33:44.100 won't insist that the parents have to keep it? No, there isn't. There isn't because I don't think 0.99

00:33:50.040 special needs are a justification for killing someone outside of the womb. So why would the 0.85

00:33:54.280 location or the age or the size of the individual change that? I don't believe that special needs

00:34:00.460 are a justification for killing someone. If you believe that abortion is okay in the instance 0.99

00:34:07.360 where someone gets a bad diagnosis or quote unquote bad diagnosis, then you believe that

00:34:13.040 killing people based on their diagnosis is justified. And you're going to have to tell

00:34:18.160 me why you wouldn't apply that to someone outside of the womb. Like, is it age? Is it location? Is

00:34:24.020 it size? Is it sentence? Is it dependency? Because all of those things can apply to people outside

00:34:29.740 of the womb too. And so really it just becomes this arbitrary game of who gets to live and who

00:34:35.660 gets to die. When it comes to babies inside the womb, it's because they're helpless because they

00:34:39.640 can't defend themselves. And you think that thinking won't eventually apply to people outside

00:34:44.780 of the womb who can't defend themselves. It already is. That's what we're seeing in this 1.00

00:34:49.200 whole die by dignity or dying with dignity euthanasia movement. We have someone named Kia

00:34:56.720 saying we need to stop acquitting suffering with sanctity, choosing to carry a fetus with a 0.88

00:35:01.860 profoundest ability to turn because God gives special kids to special parents is a coping

00:35:07.080 mechanism. The reality is grueling, expensive, and isolating. Choosing out is a valid logical

00:35:15.000 decision. So I guess she means choosing abortion. So I've never said the line, God gives special 0.99

00:35:21.180 kids to special parents. I just believe that all people are made in the image of God,

00:35:25.100 no matter what their diagnosis is. And all humans are people. I hold the radical position

00:35:30.260 that all human beings, as soon as they are human, are people, and therefore they have a right not

00:35:35.800 to be murdered. Richard Hananiah, weird heterodox person, to call this eugenics is nonsense. People

00:35:42.940 aren't aborting Down syndrome fetuses for the future gene pool of humanity. They're doing it

00:35:47.460 because they don't want to have severely handicapped children. They're doing the best 0.98

00:35:50.860 thing for themselves and their families. In what way? And if this is the best thing for your family,

00:35:57.500 then why does it stop when the baby is inside the womb? If it's the best thing for your family

00:36:03.300 that you don't have a child who grows up with special needs, who has to depend on you more 0.99

00:36:08.520 than other children, then why not justify the murder of a child outside of the womb,

00:36:15.080 a baby or a toddler or a 10-year-old? You do understand that people can develop all kinds

00:36:21.660 of dependencies and all kinds of handicaps all throughout their life. You might not know that

00:36:27.060 your child has severe autism until after they're born. You might not know that your child has a

00:36:33.140 club foot until after they're born or a cleft palate. You can't typically see those things

00:36:36.920 in utero, but not always. There could be an accident that befalls you, that befalls your

00:36:44.060 child when they're 10 years old, and then they become severely handicapped. Is it still best 1.00

00:36:49.360 for you if you murder that child? If not, why not? Like, why does your morality and your 1.00

00:36:54.700 justification for murdering people depend upon where they are located. It's evil. It's just evil.

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00:38:07.580 code Allie. All right. So this is the crowd. This is the crowd, the crowd of progressives,

00:38:18.780 most of whom will have nothing negative to say about this. As I said, you've got some people

00:38:23.940 who are pro-choice who are like, Hey, I don't like this dehumanizing language about people

00:38:28.840 with special needs. I don't like, you know, acting like people with down syndrome or more

00:38:33.660 of a burden or less of a person. So I do just want to acknowledge that, that I've seen some of that

00:38:38.920 on Instagram. And I appreciate that even while they're saying, but these people should still

00:38:44.460 have a legal right to kill a child. Okay. I just want you to know, not that I use this kind of 0.73

00:38:49.820 language, but if you believe that babies inside the womb do not have a right to life, but that

00:38:55.460 you do, you are ableist. Like you are. It's because of the child's lack of ability to defend

00:39:02.040 his or herself that you believe it's okay to poison them, to dismember them, to tear them

00:39:10.240 apart with forceps, and then to throw them away like medical waste, okay? That is your belief 0.79

00:39:15.120 if you are pro-choice, pro-abortion, whatever. You don't believe that babies inside the womb, 1.00

00:39:20.700 for whatever reason, have the legal right to not be murdered. I do. But this is the crowd, okay?

00:39:28.020 this is the same crowd that will absolutely freak out if you say something politically

00:39:32.500 incorrect. As many people have pointed out online, this is the same crowd that if you say the R word,

00:39:38.220 they will call you a Nazi. Now, I don't use that word, okay? I know there's a lot of people who do

00:39:43.940 who think, okay, you know, you're just being too sensitive. And if you don't know what I mean by

00:39:48.980 the R word, I'm sure that you can put it together. It's a, you know, people use it as a synonym for

00:39:53.520 stupid or dumb or something like that. Very popular, like in the 2010s when we were in high 0.99

00:39:58.600 school, but, um, it now it's kind of made a, made a comeback and people use it for shock value or

00:40:05.940 whatever. It's not a word that I use, but I also don't believe in equating people with Nazis who

00:40:13.000 use it. And so we see over and over again, that progressives care so much more about being

00:40:19.400 performative in their virtue than actually being virtuous. Anything that doesn't require real

00:40:25.480 sacrifice and real morality and real generosity, but can allow them to feel good about themselves,

00:40:34.080 a typical progressive is going to opt for. That's true about socialism. Okay. I can outsource my

00:40:40.780 compassion and outsource my generosity to the government. I'm only going to give money to the

00:40:45.420 poor. If you force me at gunpoint and threaten to put me in jail, if I don't pay my taxes,

00:40:50.500 it's the same thing with social justice. Oh, I'll post the black square. I'll put BLM in my bio. 0.79

00:40:56.800 As long as I don't have to change where I live or change my life at all. Um, it's the same thing

00:41:03.840 with political correctness. They call it kindness, but kindness requires some kind of sacrifice and

00:41:09.940 some kind of virtue. It does have something to do with what we say, but it's not only what we say

00:41:14.660 and our tone of voice, it's not only the words that we choose. It's also the things that we

00:41:19.360 support and advocate for. And you can't call yourself a kind person if you believe that some

00:41:24.100 people deserve to be murdered just because of their age or location or diagnosis. Okay. And so

00:41:29.440 that is the thing about progressivism is that it outsources true compassion and kindness and love

00:41:36.260 and sacrifice to the government, or it just confuses it with things like abortion or things

00:41:43.140 like allowing men to become women. They believe that kindness and love is the same thing as

00:41:48.580 affirmation of sin. So all kinds of issues with the progressive worldview that we've talked about

00:41:54.260 many times. And we talk a lot about that in toxic empathy. But like, if you believe in abortion

00:42:00.280 being a right and being legal, I am so not interested in anything else that you have to

00:42:05.080 say about morality or politics. Like that's the worst of it for me. I mean, there are a lot of

00:42:10.020 stupid things that you can believe politically. A lot of things that I'm open to debate that I'm 0.99

00:42:14.020 not 100% sure about myself. I am 100% sure that killing a baby is wrong. It should be illegal.

00:42:20.200 It's really not that hard. Jesse Ridgeway, he responds to all of this. He said that he has

00:42:26.200 seen the darkest side of humanity. He said, I've never seen such hate and vitriol for two people

00:42:32.260 grieving the loss of their unborn child and making it a possible decision. You didn't lose your child.

00:42:37.180 OK, like if you purposely throw a coin in a fountain because you were making a wish,

00:42:44.460 you can't then cry that you lost your coin. You threw the coin in there. You didn't lose it. You

00:42:49.340 threw your coin away. OK, if you purposely throw away, I don't know, like a necklace or something

00:42:55.420 like that, you can't cry because you lost your necklace. You threw your necklace away. You didn't

00:43:00.080 lose your child. You threw your child away. That's different. You said that you made an

00:43:05.040 impossible decision. It's not an impossible decision. People make the decision every day

00:43:08.920 to give birth to their Down syndrome children. The last 24 hours, he says, have exposed a side

00:43:14.180 of humanity that is deeply disturbing being called murderous pieces of S evil compared to

00:43:21.860 Hitler, nonstop death threats. So obviously, I don't believe that they should be getting death

00:43:26.980 threats, and I don't believe that they should be called any sort of names. I will never advocate

00:43:30.760 for anything like that. It actually means that you probably can't make a very good point

00:43:34.240 if that's the only thing that you can contribute to a conversation. But he is also just highlighting

00:43:40.760 the worst of the worst rather than being like, okay, these people have a point. This is killing

00:43:46.560 a human being because of their special need. And that's not good. Um, there's a lot of people that

00:43:52.760 have posted really beautiful footage and beautiful pictures of their children with Down syndrome.

00:43:58.920 Um, here's a mom who posted this video of her son with Down syndrome and said this in the caption,

00:44:03.940 this is voiceover one. She said, I've spent the last five years shouting his worth. I've shared

00:44:09.300 our journey so other families can see what it's like raising a child with Down syndrome. I'm not

00:44:14.180 lying when I say I wouldn't change a thing about him. Huddy is exactly who he's supposed to be.

00:44:19.180 And he is the biggest blessing in our lives. The joy he brings to this world is immeasurable. And

00:44:24.800 he's so freaking cute. Oh my gosh. He's so cute. So cute. Um, and there's a lot of people who have

00:44:33.220 posted, look, when they found out that their son or daughter was down syndrome, it was difficult

00:44:36.880 because it is difficult having this expectation of the life that you're going to lead or the life

00:44:41.680 that your child is going to have. And then you find out it's not going to be like that. There's

00:44:45.720 going to be a new level of difficulty that's going to be there, but that they wouldn't change a thing

00:44:52.360 because of how God has redeemed it because of how much they love their child. Um, there's another

00:44:58.220 person who posted, uh, uh, to Jesse. Um, I don't know how to pronounce her X name, but this is

00:45:05.300 full screen 15 big mistake. Our sweet girl had a heart condition and surgery down syndrome. 1.00

00:45:10.760 Uh, uh, usually comes with something like that, but she's a hundred percent healthy. Now she has 0.99

00:45:15.760 hearing loss, wears glasses, has potty training issues, and takes a little longer to learn some 0.99

00:45:19.780 things, but she has made our whole family's life a million times better just for existing.

00:45:24.640 I'm glad I didn't listen to our doctors and kept our baby. Sorry, you got bad advice. So sweet,

00:45:32.060 that picture. I love people pointing out that, yeah, you know, it hasn't been the same as having

00:45:39.320 a child with not with Down syndrome, but life isn't about taking all friction away. Like life

00:45:45.440 actually isn't about just making yourself as happy as possible. And I could go on and on.

00:45:52.400 there are some really sweet responses. This person, Dave Bruno said to anyone reading this,

00:45:57.320 you might be facing a similar crossroads. Meet my son, Josh. Josh's three has down syndrome.

00:46:02.720 They received the prenatal diagnosis at 10 weeks. If anyone else finds themselves in a similar

00:46:07.880 place, reach out. There's a whole community of people here to support you. Hasn't always been

00:46:11.260 easy, but he's worth every bit of it. And then some, uh, now some people are saying that actually

00:46:17.940 this whole situation with Jesse Ridgeway that maybe it just wasn't even real. Maybe he made

00:46:22.860 it up just for clout. There's been some speculation online that the pregnancy and the abortion have

00:46:28.020 been staged for clicks. He did something called a psycho series on YouTube a while ago, which made

00:46:33.740 his YouTube channel popular. He played a character called Psycho Kid and scripted family dramas that

00:46:39.920 were presented as real life. And then in this ex post, he is writing from the perspective of

00:46:44.980 this series as if it really happened. 10 years ago, Jesse Ridgeway says I shot my father and

00:46:49.840 fled to Switzerland with what I thought was 30 K in cash. It wasn't the money was spent. I was

00:46:55.680 spent and on the run. Now, when I finally tasted freedom, I was forced with an immeasurable guilt

00:46:59.600 for an unforgivable act. I killed the man who wanted me to be better, albeit in his own sick 0.89

00:47:05.100 way. And so people are wondering, okay, like, are you just kind of making this up? Um, is this 0.97

00:47:11.160 another video in your series? I personally don't think so, but people believe that he's just

00:47:18.180 trying to gin up some kind of controversy for attention. They've also posted about health

00:47:23.600 issues, breakups, family drama, some of which apparently has been fictionalized. For example,

00:47:28.440 in 2020, Ashley posted a video where Jesse, then her ex-boyfriend got into a physical fight with

00:47:32.900 her dad. Jesse also had someone, um, recording and apparently reportedly that also was just

00:47:40.700 fake and made up. Um, they also posted another video on the day that they posted the video about

00:47:48.000 getting the results for down syndrome, where they're arguing with each other, um, before they,

00:47:56.140 the parents then throw a smoke grenade that gives off blue smoke, revealing that the baby

00:48:00.540 is a boy. And so there are all kinds of questions about what is real and what is not,

00:48:08.380 and what is for clout and what is not. Either way, it's evil. I mean, really psychotic if you're

00:48:14.060 making up a story like this, but just as psychotic to have your baby killed because they have 0.99

00:48:19.860 special needs. All people, no matter what, are made in God's image. We read that in Genesis 127

00:48:26.260 and murdering them is wrong. When someone like James Tallarico says, the Bible doesn't say

00:48:31.680 anything about abortion, thou shall not murder made the big 10. And if humans are people,

00:48:36.460 which they are, and if we all become human at the moment of fertilization, which we do

00:48:40.480 with our own DNA, that's not even a theological position. It's just a scientific one.

00:48:44.660 Then murdering people inside, killing people inside the womb is murder. And it's wrong,

00:48:49.220 not only according to the law, which should obviously apply to babies inside the womb,

00:48:54.080 but also according to the God who created us and who created justice and who creates every child.

00:49:00.860 Now, if you are someone I get reached out to a lot, uh, by women who have had abortions and

00:49:06.520 who regret it. And if you have not brought that into the light, like if you're not a part of your

00:49:10.100 local church and you haven't brought that to your pastor or a godly female mentor, um, maybe you're

00:49:15.060 scared to at your church, I would go to your local pregnancy center and I would talk to them 0.95

00:49:20.220 and they probably know someone who offers post-abortive counseling. I think it's really

00:49:24.960 important for all of us to feel the weight of our sin and to allow ourselves to feel guilt and some

00:49:29.780 level of shame over all past things that we've done, including abortion, but to also know that

00:49:35.080 you are not too far gone, that Jesse Ridgeway and his wife are not too far gone. Like God can

00:49:40.640 forgive them. God can redeem them. God can open their eyes. God can make them new. God can bring

00:49:46.620 beauty out of ashes. And the same is true for you, that Jesus's blood covers all of your past

00:49:52.320 sin. And I just want you to know that there's grace for you if you've made this decision.

00:49:57.860 But I would encourage you to bring it to light because one way that God redeems things is he

00:50:01.880 brings testimonies out of our sin and out of horrible things that have happened to us too.

00:50:07.580 So that's how I want to end this, that we just have to be completely unwavering and unafraid

00:50:12.640 in what is true, to speak what is true. It could literally save someone's life and also realize

00:50:19.980 that the grace of God is big enough to carry all of this and to cover all of this for those who by

00:50:26.480 grace through faith believe in Christ. All right. I want to go ahead and get to voicemails. You guys

00:50:31.120 ask really good questions. And so giving some advice and my thoughts on some of the questions

00:50:37.140 that you guys sent in. Let me pause and tell you about our next to last sponsor, and that is

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00:51:47.420 All right, let's get to some of these voicemails. We only have two today. They're both really good

00:51:51.440 ones. Um, let's first go to voicemail number one. Hi, I am currently pregnant with my second

00:52:00.580 daughter and i was wondering since you have old girls what advice would you give me so that they

00:52:09.080 can have this nice bond and not one where they hate each other also i'm from san diego and i

00:52:19.860 was wondering if you would ever do a share the arrows event in san diego thank you

00:52:24.880 well thank you so much for your question we do have an all-girl family and we love it so much

00:52:33.540 it's really fun um now i am still in the midst of all of that so you know maybe in 10 to 15 years

00:52:40.280 from now i will be able to have the perspective of saying okay this is exactly what we did and

00:52:44.600 what works we're still figuring out uh what works because we all have we have little kids um but

00:52:51.300 we are also learning this kind of in a new way, both my husband and I are, because both of us are

00:52:58.960 the youngest of three. And he has two sisters that are six and eight years older than him.

00:53:05.500 And I have brothers that are 10 and a half and seven years older than me. And so neither of us

00:53:11.440 were raised with close siblings. Like I get asked a lot, oh, is it so different raising daughters

00:53:16.940 since you were raised with brothers. It's not the, it's not the sister's thing. It's not the

00:53:21.860 daughter's thing that is different. I honestly feel like the Lord made me to be able to be a

00:53:27.280 girl mom and to navigate all of these things. I love every aspect of it and I'm looking forward

00:53:31.700 to every aspect of the future with it too. Um, but it is the close in age siblings thing that is new

00:53:39.820 for both my husband and I, because we didn't really have to navigate those things of the

00:53:44.880 sharing and the arguing and the picking on each other because we were the only one of our gender

00:53:49.620 and because we were so much younger than our siblings. And so I can't look back and really

00:53:53.940 say, oh, well, when my brothers and I didn't get along, my parents made us do this, or this was

00:53:59.120 their tactic to making us, you know, stop arguing. And so we're really learning a lot of those

00:54:04.480 things. I will tell you that that is my, and I would say my husband's too, but really one of our

00:54:11.560 top things is you cannot be without consequence unkind to your sister. You cannot. We have a

00:54:19.820 zero tolerance policy for bullying, for mean words, for being rude, condescending, excluding

00:54:27.260 comparison. It's just zero tolerance. Like you're going to go to your room. You're going to get a

00:54:32.300 consequence. You're going to have to stop playing. You're going to get that toy taken away. And you

00:54:37.200 will get a talking to if there is rudeness that comes from your mouth or comes from your actions

00:54:42.780 towards your sisters. And I am telling them all of the time, who are going to be your friends

00:54:47.740 forever? My sisters. Okay. Well, then we're starting right now with not only being good

00:54:54.060 sisters, having each other's back, loving each other, building each other up, but being good

00:54:58.240 friends. And I really want that for them. And, you know, I love my brothers, but I always wanted

00:55:04.220 a sister. I always thought it would be fun to like have that kind of relationship. And I love

00:55:08.620 that my girls have each other. I love that they have sisters and I really, really want them to be

00:55:14.100 best friends with each other. Um, long after my husband and I are gone. And so that requires them

00:55:21.760 getting along and sharing and building up each other right now. Now, I wish I could say that

00:55:27.100 that is perfect and that there's never any arguments or any fighting or any tears or

00:55:31.680 anything like that. But of course, that's just not the case. But, um, I always say that raising

00:55:35.880 girls is relationship management. Raising boys is mostly injury management. Things break in both 0.88

00:55:43.000 cases. It's heartbreak mostly, um, for girls and you're navigating that from a very early age, but

00:55:48.260 they have to use kind words to each other. They have to share with each other. They have to be

00:55:53.080 kind to one another. And, um, if they break any of those parameters, there are consequences. And,

00:56:00.520 yeah, we try to just create that environment of loving to spend time with one another and that

00:56:08.140 we are each other's biggest cheerleaders, not our biggest competitors. Now, when it comes to

00:56:12.780 share the eras, okay, so, and this is, I don't want it to seem like I'm picking on you, but you

00:56:18.160 just asked this question. I get questions like this a lot. Will you come to Minnesota? Will you

00:56:22.360 come to Portland? Will you come to DC? This is not, it's not traveling. It's just a conference

00:56:27.520 that stays pretty much in one place. Now we might go to a different city at some point,

00:56:33.520 but it's not a tour. Just like almost every other conference, it stays in one place every year.

00:56:39.660 Every Christian conference is like that. And we've had people from six different countries,

00:56:43.420 48 different states. We had people come all the way from Australia last year.

00:56:47.760 And the good thing about Dallas is that it's so easy to get to, including from San Diego.

00:56:52.060 Now I know that there are financial considerations with flights and everything. I'm not saying that

00:56:56.000 it's possible for everyone, but you know, you can't pick the location that everyone lives in.

00:57:01.560 You just have to pick the location that is easiest to get to. And at least by plane,

00:57:05.780 Dallas is probably the easiest place maybe in the world, um, to travel to. And, uh, that's why it

00:57:12.340 has been convenient for a lot of people for a long time, but we could change cities one day.

00:57:16.860 We'll just see about that. I don't know if it'll be Southern California as much as I love Southern

00:57:21.740 California. I don't know that Share the Arrows will do as well there as it does in the South

00:57:29.140 and in Texas. All right. Before we get to our second voicemail to close this out, let me just

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00:58:29.100 15% off your first order with my code Allie paleo valley.com code Allie. All right. Uh,

00:58:40.520 let's do this last voicemail. Hi, Allie. I love your podcast. So before I got to know Christ and

00:58:51.980 before I became a Christian, I had an abortion. It was a very wanted pregnancy, but this termination

00:58:58.520 was for medical reasons. And since then, I have profound and deep regret. And I really struggle

00:59:06.300 to come to terms with my decision.

00:59:08.860 It's something that really eats away at me.

00:59:10.880 So I was just wondering

00:59:11.700 if you could talk about this on your show, 0.58

00:59:13.620 if you have any experience with any other women

00:59:15.740 who have gone through this,

00:59:16.900 or if you have any advice for women

00:59:19.840 who have gone through this

00:59:21.000 and are now living with the consequences

00:59:22.560 of this awful decision.

00:59:24.800 Thank you so much and God bless you.

00:59:26.580 Bye.

00:59:29.060 Well, thank you so much for sharing.

00:59:30.720 I'm sure that wasn't easy.

00:59:32.120 I'm sure it's not easy to even think about,

00:59:33.800 much less talk about.

00:59:34.700 Um, we have had a guest on this show who has an incredible testimony

00:59:38.880 Actually multiple guests on the show who have abortions as part of their testimony before they became a christian

00:59:45.740 And that deep regret that guilt

00:59:48.340 I just want you to know that that is important for you to feel

00:59:52.620 Not because I want you to just be buried with shame for the rest of your life and want to hide in the darkness

00:59:57.640 but it is an indication of the Holy spirit in you and working in you that you understand the

01:00:03.760 depth of that sin and understand what actually happened. I think so many of us, I'm not even

01:00:09.400 just talking about abortion, but so many of us try to make ourselves feel better about past sins

01:00:15.840 that we have committed by saying, well, it, you know, it wasn't really that bad, or it didn't

01:00:20.620 really hurt anyone, or it's not that big of a deal. And that's really a lie from Satan to try

01:00:26.740 to make us feel better about the wrong things we've done, when you know that you have wronged

01:00:31.680 another human being, you have wronged the God who created you and that baby, I think that is where

01:00:37.340 you actually have to start to have the full surrendered humility that's needed for each

01:00:42.620 and every one of us to come before the God of the universe and just say, I need you to heal me.

01:00:47.060 I understand that you can forgive me. And that is true. In case you're struggling with that,

01:00:51.040 there is nothing that God cannot forgive. And not because of you, but because of Christ,

01:00:55.680 because God sacrificed himself and shed his blood on the cross. And because God is the creator,

01:01:02.300 because God is perfect, his sacrifice is fully sufficient for you, for me, for every single

01:01:08.320 person who has ever sinned on the planet. His blood is sufficient to cover those sins. And so

01:01:15.560 you're not too far gone. You're not too far off. You haven't committed the one sin that cannot be

01:01:19.940 forgiven. It was a sin. It was wrong. It is very regrettable. It's okay to feel guilt about it.

01:01:25.680 but you are not beyond forgiveness. And I can't tell you how many times God has turned

01:01:30.500 ashes to beauty and has redeemed these horrible situations that Satan meant for evil and used it

01:01:36.480 for good. And how he does that typically is through the power of your testimony,

01:01:41.340 is by sharing what you went through, sharing the regret you feel, and then helping other women make

01:01:48.640 the right decision. That doesn't have to be publicly on a podcast. It might just be in a

01:01:53.360 pregnancy center. It might just be with a friend who is trying to make this decision herself.

01:01:58.960 I wonder if you have volunteered at a pregnancy center. If you're not yet, then I would really

01:02:04.740 encourage you to do that. I think that God could accomplish a lot of healing for you as you start

01:02:11.680 to use your testimony to help other women choose life. And I think that you could see that even

01:02:17.540 though that was not God's will for you to make that decision in the life of your child, even

01:02:23.460 though it was a sin, that God is a good and merciful and redemptive God, that he's actually

01:02:29.260 in the business of redemption and testimony using. I think that you will see how he can use you and

01:02:37.940 that this isn't something that is just going to be wasted because in the life of the believer,

01:02:42.240 nothing is wasted. All things, all things work together for the good of those who love God and

01:02:48.420 are called according to his purpose. That's Romans 8, 28. And God can use this to help save lives

01:02:54.360 and to bring people to himself. So that's what I would say. First, go to the Lord, openly surrender

01:03:00.140 and ask for forgiveness. If you have not already done that, ask for healing. I would say, go to

01:03:06.560 your local church. Find a godly female mentor that you can talk to, maybe a biblical counselor 1.00

01:03:12.520 if you haven't done that already, and volunteer at your local pregnancy center. That's what I 0.97

01:03:17.280 would say. And just preach the gospel to yourself every day, that his blood is totally sufficient

01:03:22.300 for you and your forgiveness and your reconciliation to God. Preach that good news to yourself. And

01:03:28.980 when Satan tries to accuse you, which is what he does, he's the great accuser, you remind yourself

01:03:33.880 that if you are a Christian, if by grace, through faith, you have been saved, which it sounds like

01:03:39.320 you are a Christian, that Jesus is your advocate. And Jesus is not denied by God when he advocates

01:03:45.880 for his sheep. Jesus is standing before the throne of God saying, no, she's good. Her record is

01:03:51.340 cleared. Her slate is clean. You see that I'm white as snow. I give that to her. And Jesus's

01:03:57.760 innocence becomes your own. And just trust in that. It's not trusting in yourself. It's trusting in

01:04:03.300 Christ and his sacrifice for you that can give you the peace that passes understanding. All right.

01:04:08.700 Thank you so much for all of your questions. If you ever have a question, need advice, want clarity

01:04:12.640 on something, I'll do my best to give it. Our call number is 844-755-5252. Leave us a message.

01:04:19.360 Try to keep it 30 seconds or less. It'll be more likely to be listened to and responded to on the

01:04:25.940 show if so. All right. We'll see you guys back here on Wednesday.

01:04:33.300 Thank you.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - June 08, 2026

Ep 1357 ｜ Baby 4! Overcoming Birth Fears & Knowing When to Add One More

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