Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - June 08, 2026


Ep 1357 | Baby 4! Overcoming Birth Fears & Knowing When to Add One More 


Episode Stats


Length

1 hour and 5 minutes

Words per minute

181.28

Word count

11,793

Sentence count

796

Harmful content

Misogyny

10

sentences flagged

Toxicity

10

sentences flagged

Hate speech

24

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Toxicity classifications generated with s-nlp/roberta_toxicity_classifier .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.640 All right. We've got a big announcement in the Stucky home. We will be going into all of it on
00:00:05.760 today's episode of Relatable. We will also be diving into this Jesse Ridgway story,
00:00:10.600 the horrible announcement that he and his wife aborted their child with Down syndrome,
00:00:15.220 then presented themselves as victims. But a question people are asking, and for good reason, 0.96
00:00:19.360 is did that really happen? We've got all of this and more on today's episode. It's brought to you
00:00:24.700 by our friends at Good Ranchers. Get all American meat for Father's Day for the Relatable in your 0.88
00:00:30.380 life. Go to GoodRanchers.com, use code Allie at checkout for a discount. That's GoodRanchers.com,
00:00:35.180 code Allie. Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. Happy Monday. Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend,
00:00:50.400 that your week is going well so far, breaking news, God's eternal plan of redemption. It is
00:00:56.660 going off without a hitch. Nothing surprises God. Nothing takes him aback. Nothing throws him off.
00:01:01.380 He's never caught off guard. He's never looking down, wondering what the heck is going on. How
00:01:05.520 did that happen? That is true about every single detail of your life, every single one, even the
00:01:11.620 thing that was a huge curve ball for you that you did not see headed your way. God saw it because
00:01:17.120 he is completely sovereign. He is not bound by linear time or space the way that we are.
00:01:22.480 And Romans 8, 28 reminds us that God works all things, all means all, every single thing together
00:01:28.380 for the good of those who love him, who are called according to his purpose. And that's not just the
00:01:32.240 things that seem good to us. That's the things that seem really bad to us, that are bad to us,
00:01:36.880 that seem completely without purpose. God is in the business of giving purpose. He is in the
00:01:42.200 business of infusing purpose into things that seem meaningless. And there's no wasted second
00:01:48.280 in the life of the believer. That is the beautiful privilege that we have as Christians,
00:01:52.940 that everything that we do gets to echo in eternity. And mostly that's unseen and unsung.
00:01:59.200 Mostly that seems mundane. Sometimes that's things that are really hard. Sometimes it's
00:02:03.360 things that are easy. Sometimes it's things that are wonderful. And sometimes it's things that just
00:02:07.840 seem plain awful, all of that echoes in eternity and is doing something because of the God who is
00:02:14.940 in the business of redemption. And so that's one thing I am extremely thankful for when I look at
00:02:21.700 not only our own lives, but also the state of the world, the evil that goes on, the people who don't
00:02:26.400 understand justice, who can't see right from wrong, who celebrate depravity. I could go on and on
00:02:31.760 listing all of the examples of that. And we'll talk about some of them later this week, specifically
00:02:36.520 when it comes to the Carmelo Anthony trial and everything going on there, the conversation about
00:02:41.420 justice. We'll talk about that on Wednesday, but I just remember the God who created justice,
00:02:46.720 the God who created all of us, the God who is love. He knows what he's doing and he's coming
00:02:51.240 back. And that victory is his. It is sure. And one day we won't have any debates. We won't have
00:02:56.700 any disagreements. We will live in perfect peace with him forever and ever. And that can be your
00:03:01.280 future too, if by grace through faith, you believe in Christ. And so good news to start out a week,
00:03:06.660 to start out every single day. And sometimes you just really need to preach that message to yourself
00:03:12.460 as a mode of peace, as a way to infuse joy into your life when things are hard. Um, well, you
00:03:19.920 might've seen the announcement by now. There is a very good, wonderful blessing going on that has
00:03:25.920 been given to us by the Lord in the Stuckey family. And that was announced exclusively by
00:03:30.460 the conservative outlet, The Conservator. Yes, Chief Related Bro and I are expecting baby number
00:03:36.400 four who will be arriving, Lord willing, sometime this fall. And so we'll talk about pregnancy today
00:03:44.020 and all different kinds of things related to that decision-making and all of that good stuff. But
00:03:49.120 first, I just want to go through some of this article. So the title is, While Preparing for
00:03:53.520 Baby Number Four, Allie Beth Stuckey is Challenging Christian Womanhood's Biggest
00:03:59.340 myth. So I'll just read some quotes from that. And then I want to give you my own commentary 0.58
00:04:03.980 because of course, not everything that I want to say can ever be, uh, you know, distilled in any
00:04:10.340 article. It's a great article. I'm so thankful to the conservator, really fun to work with them.
00:04:14.840 But I also just want to add a little bit more commentary to some points that I made. Um, so
00:04:20.360 one of the biggest myths in Christian womanhood, and I could list several and have for many years
00:04:26.480 now, but the idea that one biblical womanhood and so-called traditional womanhood or being a
00:04:35.780 so-called trad wife are completely synonymous. That is one myth. And then also the idea that
00:04:41.840 your life does not begin as a woman. Your calling as a Christian does not begin as a woman until
00:04:47.920 you get married, until you have children. My argument is not that those things cannot bring
00:04:53.640 a level of fulfillment because they absolutely do. They're good and wonderful blessings. The
00:04:57.820 biggest earthly blessings I have in this life are my family, my husband, and my children.
00:05:03.000 However, they are not the pinnacle of your fulfillment and satisfaction. Christ is,
00:05:09.120 which means you can have that right now if you are a Christian, no matter what stage of life
00:05:13.140 you're in. So here's my quote from the conservator. You do not have to bake sourdough.
00:05:17.720 You do not have to homeschool. You do not have to wear only floral dresses. You do not have to
00:05:23.120 homestead in order to be a biblical wife. Scandalous to some people, but I think a few
00:05:28.340 years ago that wouldn't have been seen as scandalous. But today we've kind of conflated
00:05:32.940 the tradesthetic, which is a social media trend for some people. I'm not saying it's not genuine
00:05:38.080 for many people with being a biblical woman. And it's not always the same thing. I love sourdough
00:05:43.960 bread. I can't eat gluten. And so it's a little tough for me, but I love sourdough bread. I love
00:05:48.660 homeschooling. I think that it's great. I think that it is super beneficial and can be super
00:05:54.840 beneficial for your children. I love floral dresses. Actually, most of the time that you
00:06:00.500 see me, I will be in some kind of floral maxi dress. And I think homesteading is great. I can't
00:06:05.880 say that I am a homesteader, but I think homesteading is great. I think it's wonderful.
00:06:11.160 I love homesteading. But the distinction matters between that and biblical womanhood 0.89
00:06:16.880 because people have confused the two. They've confused faithfulness with tradition. And so I
00:06:23.160 say, we are not going after tradition as Christians. We are going after what biblical
00:06:28.080 standards are. And the article states completely correctly that a biblical woman, she argues,
00:06:34.740 can faithfully serve God from a Manhattan apartment, a suburban neighborhood, or a rural
00:06:38.780 homestead. She could be changing diapers, studying for an exam, managing a business,
00:06:42.400 or caring for her family. Now that is all true. At the same time, of course, if you have, if you
00:06:48.040 are married and if you have children, especially if you have little children, that is your priority
00:06:52.660 in that stage of your life. And that doesn't mean you can never do other things. It doesn't mean
00:06:57.760 that you can't create art. It doesn't mean that you can't host a podcast. It doesn't mean that
00:07:01.000 you can't speak or that you can't write, but the ordering of your life absolutely does matter.
00:07:06.120 But this is speaking to women who are in different seasons of their life. I don't want a woman who 1.00
00:07:12.140 as a student to think, well, I'm not fully a woman or fully a Christian woman who can be satisfied
00:07:17.340 in Christ and can live out my calling because, well, I'm still a student, or I haven't met my
00:07:24.200 husband yet, and so I'm managing this Etsy business, or I am in marketing or PR, and so I'm
00:07:31.140 not fully a genuine, sincere Christian woman. That is just not true because the standard is not
00:07:37.460 aesthetics, the argument echoes, the standard is obedience. And I say being a biblical woman
00:07:42.980 in this moment is doing the next right thing in faith with excellence and for the glory of God.
00:07:49.260 And then I also talk about therapy culture. This is another part of the article and we'll link it.
00:07:54.560 You absolutely should go read the whole thing. But one thing that I know that is also seen as
00:07:58.960 kind of scandalous, but we've talked about many times and in many different ways for many years
00:08:03.740 on this podcast, I argue that the biggest problem among women and Christian women in particular is 0.99
00:08:08.420 what I call therapy culture. The article says she points to the growing popularity of self-help
00:08:13.020 language, self-affirmation, messaging, inner child therapy concepts, therapeutic frameworks that
00:08:18.060 increasingly influence Christian spaces. I say, ultimately, I think all of these psychological
00:08:22.460 ideas elevate the God of self rather than leading us to Christ and encouraging us towards self-denial.
00:08:27.700 Now, of course, as I've said to you, there is truth infused in each of these concepts.
00:08:33.740 um, a part of truth, but they're only true in so far as they are biblical, but they very quickly
00:08:40.320 go outside the biblical realm that elevate the self rather than lead us into the self-denial
00:08:45.580 that Christ calls us to. Um, the modern message I argue says happiness is found by looking inward.
00:08:52.080 Christianity says fulfillment is found by looking to Christ. And of course that is true. And so I 0.99
00:08:58.980 just want to encourage you, go read the article. I want to make clear that when I am talking about
00:09:05.420 marriage and when I am talking about children, it's not to minimize the importance, the foundational
00:09:12.060 importance of these things, or to say that you won't find a level of fulfillment there,
00:09:16.200 or that you shouldn't desire these things as a single woman. They're very good desires. The
00:09:20.580 Bible starts with the marriage and ends with the marriage. One of the first commands that we see 0.86
00:09:23.820 in scripture is be fruitful and multiply. It's a wonderful thing and children are a gift, but I
00:09:28.380 just want you to know that if you're struggling with infertility, if you have not found the man
00:09:33.880 that God has for you yet, you are not in a waiting period for joy. Like you are not sitting in a
00:09:41.020 waiting room saying, okay, one day I can be a biblical woman. One day I will find the fullness
00:09:46.380 of joy that Jesus has for me. Psalm 16 says the fullness of joy is found in his presence at his
00:09:51.900 right hand. So don't just sit there and wait and say, okay, this time is about finding myself and
00:09:57.260 making myself happy. Go serve the church, go help children, go work hard. Like what can you do for
00:10:03.360 the glory of God to make the small speck of the earth, the tiny spot of eternity on which God has
00:10:08.860 placed you better for his glory and the good of other people. That is what all of us are called
00:10:13.140 to no matter what stage of life that you're in. And that is the crux of my argument. All right,
00:10:18.780 let's get to what I know a lot of you want to hear me talk about, which is pregnancy, deciding
00:10:24.320 to have another child because we talked about that for a long time in light of some of my past
00:10:30.400 delivery woes and then how I found out I was pregnant, how I'm feeling and all of that good
00:10:37.340 stuff. So we'll get to that in just a second. Let me pause. Let me tell you about our first
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00:11:46.760 also just want to remind you guys come to share the arrows if you're a christian woman share
00:11:54.600 the arrows.com get your tickets it's october october 10th dallas texas october 10th every
00:12:02.380 time i get that wrong shane and shane leading worship elisa childers costi hin first related
00:12:07.700 bro speaking natasha crane rosaria butterfield graceanna castleberry her mom audrey brogi y'all
00:12:13.660 It's going to be so good. Share the Arrows is brought to you by Range Lather this year.
00:12:18.700 So thousands and thousands of Christian women for a gospel-centered, no-fluff 0.99
00:12:24.140 biblical teaching conference, sharethearrows.com. All right. Let me talk to you about pregnancy, 0.66
00:12:31.520 y'all. So you might remember a past conversation that I had with Lila Rose on this podcast about
00:12:36.480 a year ago. And we were talking about how do you use discernment in deciding to have more children?
00:12:44.620 How do you know when you are done having more children? Are Christians obligated to have a 0.99
00:12:50.480 child every year if they can? And I still don't know all of the answers to that. I've talked to 0.95
00:12:56.440 women who have four children. I've talked to women who have 10 children. And while yes, it absolutely
00:13:02.900 is a blessing and I think a command to be fruitful and multiply. I also believe that a lot of this
00:13:11.060 depends on your heart posture. A lot of this depends on your motivations. And a lot of this
00:13:16.060 depends on your particular circumstances. Should we, as a principal, of course, trust the Lord
00:13:22.760 with everything, including how many children we have, including with our bodies, including with
00:13:28.480 our finances. Absolutely. But can I say in every situation that you should have another child right
00:13:34.680 now when I don't know everything going on with your health, when I don't know everything going
00:13:38.820 on in your home? I can't say that. And so I do believe that there is also wisdom and mentorship
00:13:46.240 that God gives us as gifts to make any good decision. And so we decided to add another
00:13:56.160 little one to our family or to try to add another little one to our family. And it's not because,
00:14:01.220 um, my past births somehow in my memory got easier. All of them were difficult in their
00:14:08.360 own ways. I had two unwanted unplanned C-sections, uh, with my first, the first one I would say was
00:14:15.260 traumatic in some ways, although I can't, I can't say that it was, um, you know, as difficult as
00:14:20.580 some people's births. Thankfully I and all of my children are healthy and I'm very grateful for
00:14:27.620 that. Um, but first one really pressured into a C-section that was completely and totally
00:14:32.060 unnecessary. The recovery was really hard. I've talked about all of my births on past podcast
00:14:37.680 episodes. You can go back and listen to them. And then my second one, I really wanted a V back
00:14:43.240 and went into labor naturally at about 41 weeks, but she had some heart decelerations. I had a
00:14:49.840 high fever, ended up that we had this infection going on. And so we actually did need to deliver
00:14:56.040 her via C-section. And then third, I did have a successful V-back after two C-sections, which
00:15:01.980 I found is very rare because whenever I tell people the ordering of my births and the kind
00:15:07.560 of births that I had, they're like, hang on a second. You had your V-back. You had that after
00:15:12.660 your two C-sections. And yes, and I'm so thankful for that. I don't regret that at all. However,
00:15:17.400 in my experience, and this is not to deter you from trying to have a VBAC, the recovery from
00:15:24.740 that was much more difficult than I thought that it would be. I thought, okay, this is birth as
00:15:29.700 God intended it. And so it's going to be easy. It's going to be an easy recovery. No big deal.
00:15:34.180 Actually, the physical recovery from that, and in some ways the emotional recovery from that,
00:15:39.440 I would say, I don't know if I could say it was my hardest one because the first was really hard,
00:15:43.620 but it was really difficult. It wasn't just up and at them. I'm, I'm feeling great. Um,
00:15:49.860 after a couple of days, it was much harder than I thought. And there were many times when I thought
00:15:53.820 and said, I just don't do it in this again. And you know what? Three totally respectable number
00:15:58.760 of kids to have happy being a girl, mom happy with three kids. And honestly, I can't tell you
00:16:06.000 there was some revelation that we had, um, anytime after that. I can't pinpoint a time when I thought,
00:16:13.240 okay, yeah, we're, we definitely need to have more. I'm convicted. I just feel called. We have
00:16:19.300 to have more. It was just kind of a softening over time. It was just kind of getting things together
00:16:26.500 and realizing, okay, I think that we could do this again. And I think that this would be good.
00:16:33.380 And we prayed about it and we thought about it and we talked about it and we decided, okay,
00:16:37.700 let's go for it. And the Lord was gracious to, um, grant us baby number four. And let's see,
00:16:45.140 I found out, I decided, okay. So, um, I obviously I knew that it was a possibility, but it's crazy
00:16:53.660 how, you know, it's a possibility when you're trying to get pregnant and still it never,
00:16:58.440 the shock never disappoints. Like you're always just really surprised when that, uh, pregnancy
00:17:04.980 test reads positive. I've had lots of negative pregnancy tests in my life. And so you just kind
00:17:10.600 of expect that to be the result again. But I decided to take a pregnancy test on my birthday
00:17:17.860 because I was like, you know what? It's way too early, not way too early, but it was like a week
00:17:22.660 too early, earlier than I would typically take a test. But I was like, but if it is positive,
00:17:27.160 it would be super fun because it's my birthday. And so I just decided that I was going to take
00:17:32.160 a pregnancy test the morning of my birthday, February 18th. And, um, you know, I take those
00:17:38.120 digital tests and in the past when those digital tests have been positive, every single time I've
00:17:43.740 had a positive result, I've always, um, used one of those digital tests and every time it's been
00:17:48.980 positive, it's gone really fast. And if y'all have taken one of those tests, you know, I'm talking
00:17:52.180 about the little blinking squares, like go really fast when it's positive. Well, this was taking
00:17:56.300 forever. I was sitting in our room. Chief related bro did not know this was happening. He was in
00:18:00.580 another room. I was actually with our oldest daughter who did kind of understand what was
00:18:05.920 going on, but maybe didn't understand the level of excitement and anticipation. So I took the
00:18:10.740 test and I just was like, this is taking forever. It's going to be negative. It's fine. I'm not
00:18:14.520 even, you know, I'll take another one in a week. I'm not even going to be disappointed. It'll be
00:18:18.580 okay. And I put it under my pillow and I waited, waited, waited, and it took forever. And then I
00:18:25.080 brought it into the bathroom. And then I flipped it over and it said, pregnant. And I couldn't
00:18:31.240 believe it. And of course, the days following that, you take a million other tests just to
00:18:35.800 make sure. I think I took like 10 tests just to verify that I was really pregnant. And obviously,
00:18:40.560 we were so excited. Chief Related Bro came in and I told him like immediately. And we told our
00:18:46.760 oldest, OK, it's really early. Like, I think I was like three, three and a half weeks pregnant.
00:18:51.400 And so I was like, okay, our oldest, I was like, I please don't go tell people like, please don't
00:18:59.360 announce this to everyone. Like, this is just for us. This is something special that didn't work.
00:19:04.500 Okay. She was too excited. She was overwhelmed with excitement about this. Um, and so people
00:19:11.080 in our lives knew pretty quickly and we were excited to tell people, but I knew that I was
00:19:16.200 going to wait to tell y'all until, you know, sometime in the second trimester, which is what
00:19:23.720 I'm in right now. And that's just cause you just want to make sure that all is good. And if anything
00:19:28.820 happened with the pregnancy, I would want to be able to kind of like mourn that privately and
00:19:35.880 talk to my family and all of that before feeling an obligation to announce to everyone, um, that
00:19:41.960 that is something that occurred just because you get messages about pregnancy, all that,
00:19:46.300 all that kind of stuff. Um, and so now we're well into the second trimester and just praying for,
00:19:51.700 uh, continued smooth pregnancy, smooth delivery and all of that. Um, the, before I talk about
00:19:57.540 like how I'm thinking about delivery, I'll just talk about pregnancy and how I felt, uh, this
00:20:02.540 has been a harder pregnancy. The first, the first 12 weeks were really hard. And probably if you go
00:20:08.480 back and you watch some of those episodes. Um, I don't know. March was tough. March and April were
00:20:15.500 tough. I was really nauseous and I was really tired and I had a headache and I did not feel
00:20:22.580 good and nothing tasted good. And I just felt completely depleted, completely depleted. And
00:20:30.000 I was trying to figure out, is this the same as past pregnancies? I'll tell you, I'll tell you
00:20:35.820 what I felt like. I felt like the one day, if you go back and you watch the first time that I
00:20:41.020 interviewed sweet ginger Duggar Volo, that was, I was nine weeks pregnant with my third baby
00:20:46.820 at that point. And you can see it. I'm like in a hoodie and my hair slicked back in a bun and I
00:20:52.540 have like no makeup on and I am so tired. Well, that one terrible feeling day is how I felt most
00:21:00.520 days in my first trimester. But thank you Lord for the second trimester. I know some people stay
00:21:05.280 feeling that bad all through pregnancy, I started feeling a lot better. And we do know the gender.
00:21:11.140 I don't think I'm going to announce the dinner to you all until birth. I think I'm just going
00:21:15.740 to keep that a surprise. Um, but we were, you know, we're, we were going to be excited either
00:21:21.800 way. Um, when, when we found out. And so of course we are, we're happy. And so, um, everything
00:21:29.180 is all good with that thus far. Now, how I am feeling about birth V back, all of that. I don't
00:21:37.700 know. You know, I don't, I don't know. Like I, I, I'm honestly not to be frank. I'm not really
00:21:43.980 thinking about it. I'm not really preparing for it. I feel like in my second and third pregnancies,
00:21:49.240 because I wanted to be back so badly, I was already listening to podcasts and birth stories
00:21:53.940 and talking to people and preparing and reading books. And I probably will get to that at some
00:22:00.100 point, but I feel more open-handed about my birth than I ever have. I really felt so much like I
00:22:07.380 had to control the outcome and I wanted a specific kind of birth so much. And it's not that I don't
00:22:12.600 care. Of course I care, but now I've had both kinds of birth and I'm like, ah, I've done it.
00:22:17.340 I've done it both ways. Like, I just feel like I, okay, whatever happens happens. And maybe that's
00:22:22.980 not the best mentality, but there's nothing I can do about it right now. Anyway, I have quite a while
00:22:27.460 until we get there. And, um, yeah, I'm just, I'm not anxious about it right now. I can't say that
00:22:33.580 I won't be anxious about it when the time comes. Um, but right now I'm just not really thinking
00:22:40.100 about it. Um, so yeah, for those of you who are wondering if I'm planning to be back and all of
00:22:46.280 that? Yes, I think so, but it's not a top of mind. Pregnancies really do go by so much more quickly,
00:22:54.460 the more kids you have. And this one has flown by. If you are wondering, wait, your baby is due
00:23:01.240 in the fall and you have share the arrows October 10th. It's October 10th, not October 11th. Um,
00:23:08.240 yeah, I'm going to be huge. Yeah. I'm going to be huge. I am going to be, it is, it was not within
00:23:13.840 my window of birth yet. Plus I always give birth late. Like my babies always arrive like after 40
00:23:24.680 weeks, like 41, 42 weeks even. And so I don't know if it'll be like this, this time, but share
00:23:30.780 the arrows is not quite in my window of delivery, not quite full term, but really close. So I'm
00:23:38.400 going to be waddling. They're going to have to, you know, those productions are like planned
00:23:43.540 down to the second, y'all are going to have to give me like 30 more seconds to at least maybe
00:23:48.840 three more minutes to walk down that aisle and to get up on the stage. Chief Related Bro is going to
00:23:54.040 be carrying me. I'm probably going to have to sit down. Maybe I'll have to sit down for my speech
00:24:00.060 and I'll have to have one of those chairs that like swirls around. I'll be like on a lazy Susan
00:24:05.300 or something and I'll be sitting on a chair and y'all can just spin me around and I can talk to
00:24:11.040 everyone. Um, that way that will help alleviate my pregnancy pain. So no, it'll be all good. Um,
00:24:18.820 and yeah, that's it. That's how we're feeling. And I feel good because there are so many things
00:24:23.280 that I've wanted to share with you guys about pregnancy and I haven't been able to talk about
00:24:28.060 it. And a lot of you guys have speculated that I'm pregnant. And I do just want to say to the
00:24:33.120 conspiracy theorists out there who thought like, Oh, she's changed her set. She's trying to hide 0.55
00:24:38.620 it. That's not true. None of the set changes have anything to do with pregnancy or trying
00:24:43.300 to hide my baby bump or anything. I haven't really tried to hide it that hard because
00:24:47.340 I don't really care if people speculate. And so no, we just decided to announce it when
00:24:52.980 it was best to announce and that's it. All right. I'm sure there will be more to talk
00:24:57.100 about that soon. Now let's get into a story that I've been wanting to discuss. Quick
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00:25:54.960 okay so if you haven't heard about this awful story which i think most of you probably have
00:26:04.640 because you're following on instagram on x lots of people have been rightly talking about it
00:26:09.460 and it's this youtuber this youtuber named jesse ridgeway he goes by mcjugger nuggets and he has
00:26:16.600 over 4 million subscribers okay so we probably wouldn't be talking about this story if the post
00:26:21.320 had not gone viral. And if this person didn't have so much influence, especially over young
00:26:25.880 people. Okay. Very, very popular YouTuber. He is married and they have been documenting their
00:26:32.600 pregnancy. They have been, um, chronicling and, you know, monetizing a discussion about the
00:26:39.980 sonogram, finding out that they're pregnant and all of that good stuff. But then on X,
00:26:44.400 he posted this long post saying my wife and I made the very difficult decision to terminate
00:26:49.940 the pregnancy. That's a euphemism for killing the child due to trisomy 21. Trisomy 21, it's a
00:26:57.360 genetic condition that's caused by an extra copy of the 21st chromosome, but it's most commonly
00:27:02.380 known as Down syndrome. So unlike a trisomy or trisomy 18 or some of these other chromosomal
00:27:11.660 anomalies, Down syndrome is not immediately fatal. And some of these other chromosomal
00:27:17.440 abnormalities are not immediately fatal, but they are more so. Many times babies who are born with
00:27:23.220 trisomy 18, for example, they might die inside the womb or they might die minutes after birth.
00:27:28.700 Now, those people are just as valuable. They should also not be snuffed out inside the womb.
00:27:33.340 But I think it's interesting that he used this terminology, even though he knows that people,
00:27:38.480 most people know what Down syndrome is. It's almost like he wanted to present this as something
00:27:43.160 like my baby is going to die in the womb at any moment. And we wanted to end his or her suffering.
00:27:48.640 And that's not what happened. Not that that would justify it, but it does seem like that's what he
00:27:53.640 was trying to do at first. He said, this choice was not made lightly on X. He said, I know some
00:27:59.920 of you may be very disappointed to hear this news. We are devastated. This has been extremely traumatic
00:28:05.220 for both of us, especially Ashley, who is his wife. She underwent the procedure earlier this
00:28:12.700 week and is on the mend. Thankfully, everything was smoothly, but emotionally we are drained.
00:28:18.840 So as I said, he's been posting, um, about this pregnancy for a while. He posted in March,
00:28:25.880 baby Ridgeway coming fall, 2026. They made a video, um, talking about their positive
00:28:32.700 pregnancy test. Um, and then they made another video talking about their, um, amniocentesis
00:28:40.140 test where they take amniotic fluid to get a diagnosis of something like down syndrome and
00:28:46.580 here is that video of them getting the results set too it says abnormal insight result
00:28:54.620 followed that showed three chromosome 21 signals consistent with trisomy 21 down syndrome
00:29:01.100 genetic counseling is recommended pattern consistent with trisomy 21
00:29:10.140 we talked before this guys about what would we do if we confronted this scenario
00:29:17.880 um because this was the more likely scenario we talked about terminating the pregnancy
00:29:24.580 obviously things could change because this is traumatic like very traumatic
00:29:30.000 okay um the rest of his ex post talks about um all the problems that down syndrome people can
00:29:39.080 have. 50% of babies have heart defects. 75% will have hearing challenges. 50% have vision problems.
00:29:45.860 They'd be fully dependent on others for the rest of their life. Genetic counselors, friends,
00:29:52.320 family, talk to them, learn that 90% of women terminate their pregnancy after this diagnosis.
00:29:57.800 And, um, you know, he said a lot of judgment is being cast. And so there was obviously a big
00:30:05.020 response to this. A lot of pro-lifers, even some people who are pro-choice, but think that this is
00:30:11.840 discriminatory against people with special needs had a negative reaction to this. He said things
00:30:17.580 like, look, we're trying for a better outcome. He said Down syndrome is basically a genetic glitch,
00:30:24.360 which is dehumanizing language. My response was, this is really sad. Babies with Down syndrome are
00:30:29.060 no less people and therefore no less worthy of life than anyone else. This can't be framed in
00:30:33.580 a way that sounds virtuous or selfless. The only victim in this scenario is the baby. And I think
00:30:38.260 that's so important for pro-abortion people and pro-lifers to understand is that typically the
00:30:44.520 only victim in an abortion situation is the baby. Yes, sometimes the woman is a victim. If she has
00:30:50.780 been raped, if she has been coerced into having an abortion, then absolutely she is also a victim.
00:30:55.740 But you are not a victim just because you had an abortion. Just because you choose an abortion, 0.83
00:31:01.440 you've got some emotional turmoil over that, which by the way is conviction, you are not a victim.
00:31:08.080 It is sad, yes, that they had sad emotions because of course there are more considerations
00:31:14.700 and more difficulties that come with raising a child with special needs. Of course that is true,
00:31:20.860 but you monetize that reaction. You not only monetized your baby's little life, but then
00:31:26.100 you monetized his death and not just his death, but also his murder. And then you want people to
00:31:31.780 feel sympathetic toward you. He reacted to the backlash that he's had. He said that he's seen
00:31:38.420 the worst of humanity and people pointing out that, hey, like this is really grotesque what
00:31:43.200 you're saying. This is morally chilling that you are admitting and trying to euphemize
00:31:48.680 euthanizing a baby. I said, you're not the victim here. You used your baby for content and profit
00:31:55.140 until you realize that he wasn't, he wasn't your preferred quote unquote outcome. You exploited
00:32:01.040 him. Then you had him killed. Then you used his murder to make more content. It is grotesque and 0.99
00:32:06.900 it is quite heartbreaking. Now, the thing about this person is that he is not without compassion
00:32:13.260 for vulnerable entities. We'll say earlier in May, Jesse celebrated the sixth birthday of his dog
00:32:19.900 who was diagnosed with stage four kidney disease the previous year at the time. He was told the
00:32:25.520 dog would only live a few more weeks. Uh, we have a picture that we should put up. Um, here we are
00:32:31.660 a whole year later. She is still fighting. She is in the 0.001% of superhero dogs that continue 0.59
00:32:39.800 living with no kidneys. So that life was worth sacrificing for his dog was worth paying lots and
00:32:48.560 lots of money for, doing everything you could to keep this dog alive, even though your dog
00:32:53.540 has special needs, will not live a very long time. That dog apparently was more worthy of life than
00:33:00.500 their living child. Okay. The contrast there just goes to show the disordered nature of the human
00:33:07.500 heart. When we are given over to sin, the truth is, is that a child with special needs would be
00:33:14.100 much more of a quote unquote burden for longer in a parent's life than a dog. And it seems to me
00:33:20.760 like he didn't want that. And that just wasn't the picture that he had for his son or daughter.
00:33:28.520 Then we have people who actually think that what he said was totally fine. We've got leftists on
00:33:34.360 Twitter saying things like, this is someone named John Carter. I find it genuinely baffling that
00:33:39.240 people are piling onto this guy. Is there any level of congenital defect at which Christians
00:33:44.100 won't insist that the parents have to keep it? No, there isn't. There isn't because I don't think 0.99
00:33:50.040 special needs are a justification for killing someone outside of the womb. So why would the 0.85
00:33:54.280 location or the age or the size of the individual change that? I don't believe that special needs
00:34:00.460 are a justification for killing someone. If you believe that abortion is okay in the instance 0.99
00:34:07.360 where someone gets a bad diagnosis or quote unquote bad diagnosis, then you believe that
00:34:13.040 killing people based on their diagnosis is justified. And you're going to have to tell
00:34:18.160 me why you wouldn't apply that to someone outside of the womb. Like, is it age? Is it location? Is
00:34:24.020 it size? Is it sentence? Is it dependency? Because all of those things can apply to people outside
00:34:29.740 of the womb too. And so really it just becomes this arbitrary game of who gets to live and who
00:34:35.660 gets to die. When it comes to babies inside the womb, it's because they're helpless because they
00:34:39.640 can't defend themselves. And you think that thinking won't eventually apply to people outside
00:34:44.780 of the womb who can't defend themselves. It already is. That's what we're seeing in this 1.00
00:34:49.200 whole die by dignity or dying with dignity euthanasia movement. We have someone named Kia
00:34:56.720 saying we need to stop acquitting suffering with sanctity, choosing to carry a fetus with a 0.88
00:35:01.860 profoundest ability to turn because God gives special kids to special parents is a coping
00:35:07.080 mechanism. The reality is grueling, expensive, and isolating. Choosing out is a valid logical
00:35:15.000 decision. So I guess she means choosing abortion. So I've never said the line, God gives special 0.99
00:35:21.180 kids to special parents. I just believe that all people are made in the image of God,
00:35:25.100 no matter what their diagnosis is. And all humans are people. I hold the radical position
00:35:30.260 that all human beings, as soon as they are human, are people, and therefore they have a right not
00:35:35.800 to be murdered. Richard Hananiah, weird heterodox person, to call this eugenics is nonsense. People
00:35:42.940 aren't aborting Down syndrome fetuses for the future gene pool of humanity. They're doing it
00:35:47.460 because they don't want to have severely handicapped children. They're doing the best 0.98
00:35:50.860 thing for themselves and their families. In what way? And if this is the best thing for your family,
00:35:57.500 then why does it stop when the baby is inside the womb? If it's the best thing for your family
00:36:03.300 that you don't have a child who grows up with special needs, who has to depend on you more 0.99
00:36:08.520 than other children, then why not justify the murder of a child outside of the womb,
00:36:15.080 a baby or a toddler or a 10-year-old? You do understand that people can develop all kinds
00:36:21.660 of dependencies and all kinds of handicaps all throughout their life. You might not know that
00:36:27.060 your child has severe autism until after they're born. You might not know that your child has a
00:36:33.140 club foot until after they're born or a cleft palate. You can't typically see those things
00:36:36.920 in utero, but not always. There could be an accident that befalls you, that befalls your
00:36:44.060 child when they're 10 years old, and then they become severely handicapped. Is it still best 1.00
00:36:49.360 for you if you murder that child? If not, why not? Like, why does your morality and your 1.00
00:36:54.700 justification for murdering people depend upon where they are located. It's evil. It's just evil.
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00:38:07.580 code Allie. All right. So this is the crowd. This is the crowd, the crowd of progressives,
00:38:18.780 most of whom will have nothing negative to say about this. As I said, you've got some people
00:38:23.940 who are pro-choice who are like, Hey, I don't like this dehumanizing language about people
00:38:28.840 with special needs. I don't like, you know, acting like people with down syndrome or more
00:38:33.660 of a burden or less of a person. So I do just want to acknowledge that, that I've seen some of that
00:38:38.920 on Instagram. And I appreciate that even while they're saying, but these people should still
00:38:44.460 have a legal right to kill a child. Okay. I just want you to know, not that I use this kind of 0.73
00:38:49.820 language, but if you believe that babies inside the womb do not have a right to life, but that
00:38:55.460 you do, you are ableist. Like you are. It's because of the child's lack of ability to defend
00:39:02.040 his or herself that you believe it's okay to poison them, to dismember them, to tear them
00:39:10.240 apart with forceps, and then to throw them away like medical waste, okay? That is your belief 0.79
00:39:15.120 if you are pro-choice, pro-abortion, whatever. You don't believe that babies inside the womb, 1.00
00:39:20.700 for whatever reason, have the legal right to not be murdered. I do. But this is the crowd, okay?
00:39:28.020 this is the same crowd that will absolutely freak out if you say something politically
00:39:32.500 incorrect. As many people have pointed out online, this is the same crowd that if you say the R word,
00:39:38.220 they will call you a Nazi. Now, I don't use that word, okay? I know there's a lot of people who do
00:39:43.940 who think, okay, you know, you're just being too sensitive. And if you don't know what I mean by
00:39:48.980 the R word, I'm sure that you can put it together. It's a, you know, people use it as a synonym for
00:39:53.520 stupid or dumb or something like that. Very popular, like in the 2010s when we were in high 0.99
00:39:58.600 school, but, um, it now it's kind of made a, made a comeback and people use it for shock value or
00:40:05.940 whatever. It's not a word that I use, but I also don't believe in equating people with Nazis who
00:40:13.000 use it. And so we see over and over again, that progressives care so much more about being
00:40:19.400 performative in their virtue than actually being virtuous. Anything that doesn't require real
00:40:25.480 sacrifice and real morality and real generosity, but can allow them to feel good about themselves,
00:40:34.080 a typical progressive is going to opt for. That's true about socialism. Okay. I can outsource my
00:40:40.780 compassion and outsource my generosity to the government. I'm only going to give money to the
00:40:45.420 poor. If you force me at gunpoint and threaten to put me in jail, if I don't pay my taxes,
00:40:50.500 it's the same thing with social justice. Oh, I'll post the black square. I'll put BLM in my bio. 0.79
00:40:56.800 As long as I don't have to change where I live or change my life at all. Um, it's the same thing
00:41:03.840 with political correctness. They call it kindness, but kindness requires some kind of sacrifice and
00:41:09.940 some kind of virtue. It does have something to do with what we say, but it's not only what we say
00:41:14.660 and our tone of voice, it's not only the words that we choose. It's also the things that we
00:41:19.360 support and advocate for. And you can't call yourself a kind person if you believe that some
00:41:24.100 people deserve to be murdered just because of their age or location or diagnosis. Okay. And so
00:41:29.440 that is the thing about progressivism is that it outsources true compassion and kindness and love
00:41:36.260 and sacrifice to the government, or it just confuses it with things like abortion or things
00:41:43.140 like allowing men to become women. They believe that kindness and love is the same thing as
00:41:48.580 affirmation of sin. So all kinds of issues with the progressive worldview that we've talked about
00:41:54.260 many times. And we talk a lot about that in toxic empathy. But like, if you believe in abortion
00:42:00.280 being a right and being legal, I am so not interested in anything else that you have to
00:42:05.080 say about morality or politics. Like that's the worst of it for me. I mean, there are a lot of
00:42:10.020 stupid things that you can believe politically. A lot of things that I'm open to debate that I'm 0.99
00:42:14.020 not 100% sure about myself. I am 100% sure that killing a baby is wrong. It should be illegal.
00:42:20.200 It's really not that hard. Jesse Ridgeway, he responds to all of this. He said that he has
00:42:26.200 seen the darkest side of humanity. He said, I've never seen such hate and vitriol for two people
00:42:32.260 grieving the loss of their unborn child and making it a possible decision. You didn't lose your child.
00:42:37.180 OK, like if you purposely throw a coin in a fountain because you were making a wish,
00:42:44.460 you can't then cry that you lost your coin. You threw the coin in there. You didn't lose it. You
00:42:49.340 threw your coin away. OK, if you purposely throw away, I don't know, like a necklace or something
00:42:55.420 like that, you can't cry because you lost your necklace. You threw your necklace away. You didn't
00:43:00.080 lose your child. You threw your child away. That's different. You said that you made an
00:43:05.040 impossible decision. It's not an impossible decision. People make the decision every day
00:43:08.920 to give birth to their Down syndrome children. The last 24 hours, he says, have exposed a side
00:43:14.180 of humanity that is deeply disturbing being called murderous pieces of S evil compared to
00:43:21.860 Hitler, nonstop death threats. So obviously, I don't believe that they should be getting death
00:43:26.980 threats, and I don't believe that they should be called any sort of names. I will never advocate
00:43:30.760 for anything like that. It actually means that you probably can't make a very good point
00:43:34.240 if that's the only thing that you can contribute to a conversation. But he is also just highlighting
00:43:40.760 the worst of the worst rather than being like, okay, these people have a point. This is killing
00:43:46.560 a human being because of their special need. And that's not good. Um, there's a lot of people that
00:43:52.760 have posted really beautiful footage and beautiful pictures of their children with Down syndrome.
00:43:58.920 Um, here's a mom who posted this video of her son with Down syndrome and said this in the caption,
00:44:03.940 this is voiceover one. She said, I've spent the last five years shouting his worth. I've shared
00:44:09.300 our journey so other families can see what it's like raising a child with Down syndrome. I'm not
00:44:14.180 lying when I say I wouldn't change a thing about him. Huddy is exactly who he's supposed to be.
00:44:19.180 And he is the biggest blessing in our lives. The joy he brings to this world is immeasurable. And
00:44:24.800 he's so freaking cute. Oh my gosh. He's so cute. So cute. Um, and there's a lot of people who have
00:44:33.220 posted, look, when they found out that their son or daughter was down syndrome, it was difficult
00:44:36.880 because it is difficult having this expectation of the life that you're going to lead or the life
00:44:41.680 that your child is going to have. And then you find out it's not going to be like that. There's
00:44:45.720 going to be a new level of difficulty that's going to be there, but that they wouldn't change a thing
00:44:52.360 because of how God has redeemed it because of how much they love their child. Um, there's another
00:44:58.220 person who posted, uh, uh, to Jesse. Um, I don't know how to pronounce her X name, but this is
00:45:05.300 full screen 15 big mistake. Our sweet girl had a heart condition and surgery down syndrome. 1.00
00:45:10.760 Uh, uh, usually comes with something like that, but she's a hundred percent healthy. Now she has 0.99
00:45:15.760 hearing loss, wears glasses, has potty training issues, and takes a little longer to learn some 0.99
00:45:19.780 things, but she has made our whole family's life a million times better just for existing.
00:45:24.640 I'm glad I didn't listen to our doctors and kept our baby. Sorry, you got bad advice. So sweet,
00:45:32.060 that picture. I love people pointing out that, yeah, you know, it hasn't been the same as having
00:45:39.320 a child with not with Down syndrome, but life isn't about taking all friction away. Like life
00:45:45.440 actually isn't about just making yourself as happy as possible. And I could go on and on.
00:45:52.400 there are some really sweet responses. This person, Dave Bruno said to anyone reading this,
00:45:57.320 you might be facing a similar crossroads. Meet my son, Josh. Josh's three has down syndrome.
00:46:02.720 They received the prenatal diagnosis at 10 weeks. If anyone else finds themselves in a similar
00:46:07.880 place, reach out. There's a whole community of people here to support you. Hasn't always been
00:46:11.260 easy, but he's worth every bit of it. And then some, uh, now some people are saying that actually
00:46:17.940 this whole situation with Jesse Ridgeway that maybe it just wasn't even real. Maybe he made
00:46:22.860 it up just for clout. There's been some speculation online that the pregnancy and the abortion have
00:46:28.020 been staged for clicks. He did something called a psycho series on YouTube a while ago, which made
00:46:33.740 his YouTube channel popular. He played a character called Psycho Kid and scripted family dramas that
00:46:39.920 were presented as real life. And then in this ex post, he is writing from the perspective of
00:46:44.980 this series as if it really happened. 10 years ago, Jesse Ridgeway says I shot my father and
00:46:49.840 fled to Switzerland with what I thought was 30 K in cash. It wasn't the money was spent. I was
00:46:55.680 spent and on the run. Now, when I finally tasted freedom, I was forced with an immeasurable guilt
00:46:59.600 for an unforgivable act. I killed the man who wanted me to be better, albeit in his own sick 0.89
00:47:05.100 way. And so people are wondering, okay, like, are you just kind of making this up? Um, is this 0.97
00:47:11.160 another video in your series? I personally don't think so, but people believe that he's just
00:47:18.180 trying to gin up some kind of controversy for attention. They've also posted about health
00:47:23.600 issues, breakups, family drama, some of which apparently has been fictionalized. For example,
00:47:28.440 in 2020, Ashley posted a video where Jesse, then her ex-boyfriend got into a physical fight with
00:47:32.900 her dad. Jesse also had someone, um, recording and apparently reportedly that also was just
00:47:40.700 fake and made up. Um, they also posted another video on the day that they posted the video about
00:47:48.000 getting the results for down syndrome, where they're arguing with each other, um, before they,
00:47:56.140 the parents then throw a smoke grenade that gives off blue smoke, revealing that the baby
00:48:00.540 is a boy. And so there are all kinds of questions about what is real and what is not,
00:48:08.380 and what is for clout and what is not. Either way, it's evil. I mean, really psychotic if you're
00:48:14.060 making up a story like this, but just as psychotic to have your baby killed because they have 0.99
00:48:19.860 special needs. All people, no matter what, are made in God's image. We read that in Genesis 127
00:48:26.260 and murdering them is wrong. When someone like James Tallarico says, the Bible doesn't say
00:48:31.680 anything about abortion, thou shall not murder made the big 10. And if humans are people,
00:48:36.460 which they are, and if we all become human at the moment of fertilization, which we do
00:48:40.480 with our own DNA, that's not even a theological position. It's just a scientific one.
00:48:44.660 Then murdering people inside, killing people inside the womb is murder. And it's wrong,
00:48:49.220 not only according to the law, which should obviously apply to babies inside the womb,
00:48:54.080 but also according to the God who created us and who created justice and who creates every child.
00:49:00.860 Now, if you are someone I get reached out to a lot, uh, by women who have had abortions and
00:49:06.520 who regret it. And if you have not brought that into the light, like if you're not a part of your
00:49:10.100 local church and you haven't brought that to your pastor or a godly female mentor, um, maybe you're
00:49:15.060 scared to at your church, I would go to your local pregnancy center and I would talk to them 0.95
00:49:20.220 and they probably know someone who offers post-abortive counseling. I think it's really
00:49:24.960 important for all of us to feel the weight of our sin and to allow ourselves to feel guilt and some
00:49:29.780 level of shame over all past things that we've done, including abortion, but to also know that
00:49:35.080 you are not too far gone, that Jesse Ridgeway and his wife are not too far gone. Like God can
00:49:40.640 forgive them. God can redeem them. God can open their eyes. God can make them new. God can bring
00:49:46.620 beauty out of ashes. And the same is true for you, that Jesus's blood covers all of your past
00:49:52.320 sin. And I just want you to know that there's grace for you if you've made this decision.
00:49:57.860 But I would encourage you to bring it to light because one way that God redeems things is he
00:50:01.880 brings testimonies out of our sin and out of horrible things that have happened to us too.
00:50:07.580 So that's how I want to end this, that we just have to be completely unwavering and unafraid
00:50:12.640 in what is true, to speak what is true. It could literally save someone's life and also realize
00:50:19.980 that the grace of God is big enough to carry all of this and to cover all of this for those who by
00:50:26.480 grace through faith believe in Christ. All right. I want to go ahead and get to voicemails. You guys
00:50:31.120 ask really good questions. And so giving some advice and my thoughts on some of the questions
00:50:37.140 that you guys sent in. Let me pause and tell you about our next to last sponsor, and that is
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00:51:47.420 All right, let's get to some of these voicemails. We only have two today. They're both really good
00:51:51.440 ones. Um, let's first go to voicemail number one. Hi, I am currently pregnant with my second
00:52:00.580 daughter and i was wondering since you have old girls what advice would you give me so that they
00:52:09.080 can have this nice bond and not one where they hate each other also i'm from san diego and i
00:52:19.860 was wondering if you would ever do a share the arrows event in san diego thank you
00:52:24.880 well thank you so much for your question we do have an all-girl family and we love it so much
00:52:33.540 it's really fun um now i am still in the midst of all of that so you know maybe in 10 to 15 years
00:52:40.280 from now i will be able to have the perspective of saying okay this is exactly what we did and
00:52:44.600 what works we're still figuring out uh what works because we all have we have little kids um but
00:52:51.300 we are also learning this kind of in a new way, both my husband and I are, because both of us are
00:52:58.960 the youngest of three. And he has two sisters that are six and eight years older than him.
00:53:05.500 And I have brothers that are 10 and a half and seven years older than me. And so neither of us
00:53:11.440 were raised with close siblings. Like I get asked a lot, oh, is it so different raising daughters
00:53:16.940 since you were raised with brothers. It's not the, it's not the sister's thing. It's not the
00:53:21.860 daughter's thing that is different. I honestly feel like the Lord made me to be able to be a
00:53:27.280 girl mom and to navigate all of these things. I love every aspect of it and I'm looking forward
00:53:31.700 to every aspect of the future with it too. Um, but it is the close in age siblings thing that is new
00:53:39.820 for both my husband and I, because we didn't really have to navigate those things of the
00:53:44.880 sharing and the arguing and the picking on each other because we were the only one of our gender
00:53:49.620 and because we were so much younger than our siblings. And so I can't look back and really
00:53:53.940 say, oh, well, when my brothers and I didn't get along, my parents made us do this, or this was
00:53:59.120 their tactic to making us, you know, stop arguing. And so we're really learning a lot of those
00:54:04.480 things. I will tell you that that is my, and I would say my husband's too, but really one of our
00:54:11.560 top things is you cannot be without consequence unkind to your sister. You cannot. We have a
00:54:19.820 zero tolerance policy for bullying, for mean words, for being rude, condescending, excluding
00:54:27.260 comparison. It's just zero tolerance. Like you're going to go to your room. You're going to get a
00:54:32.300 consequence. You're going to have to stop playing. You're going to get that toy taken away. And you
00:54:37.200 will get a talking to if there is rudeness that comes from your mouth or comes from your actions
00:54:42.780 towards your sisters. And I am telling them all of the time, who are going to be your friends
00:54:47.740 forever? My sisters. Okay. Well, then we're starting right now with not only being good
00:54:54.060 sisters, having each other's back, loving each other, building each other up, but being good
00:54:58.240 friends. And I really want that for them. And, you know, I love my brothers, but I always wanted
00:55:04.220 a sister. I always thought it would be fun to like have that kind of relationship. And I love
00:55:08.620 that my girls have each other. I love that they have sisters and I really, really want them to be
00:55:14.100 best friends with each other. Um, long after my husband and I are gone. And so that requires them
00:55:21.760 getting along and sharing and building up each other right now. Now, I wish I could say that
00:55:27.100 that is perfect and that there's never any arguments or any fighting or any tears or
00:55:31.680 anything like that. But of course, that's just not the case. But, um, I always say that raising
00:55:35.880 girls is relationship management. Raising boys is mostly injury management. Things break in both 0.88
00:55:43.000 cases. It's heartbreak mostly, um, for girls and you're navigating that from a very early age, but
00:55:48.260 they have to use kind words to each other. They have to share with each other. They have to be
00:55:53.080 kind to one another. And, um, if they break any of those parameters, there are consequences. And,
00:56:00.520 yeah, we try to just create that environment of loving to spend time with one another and that
00:56:08.140 we are each other's biggest cheerleaders, not our biggest competitors. Now, when it comes to
00:56:12.780 share the eras, okay, so, and this is, I don't want it to seem like I'm picking on you, but you
00:56:18.160 just asked this question. I get questions like this a lot. Will you come to Minnesota? Will you
00:56:22.360 come to Portland? Will you come to DC? This is not, it's not traveling. It's just a conference
00:56:27.520 that stays pretty much in one place. Now we might go to a different city at some point,
00:56:33.520 but it's not a tour. Just like almost every other conference, it stays in one place every year.
00:56:39.660 Every Christian conference is like that. And we've had people from six different countries,
00:56:43.420 48 different states. We had people come all the way from Australia last year.
00:56:47.760 And the good thing about Dallas is that it's so easy to get to, including from San Diego.
00:56:52.060 Now I know that there are financial considerations with flights and everything. I'm not saying that
00:56:56.000 it's possible for everyone, but you know, you can't pick the location that everyone lives in.
00:57:01.560 You just have to pick the location that is easiest to get to. And at least by plane,
00:57:05.780 Dallas is probably the easiest place maybe in the world, um, to travel to. And, uh, that's why it
00:57:12.340 has been convenient for a lot of people for a long time, but we could change cities one day.
00:57:16.860 We'll just see about that. I don't know if it'll be Southern California as much as I love Southern
00:57:21.740 California. I don't know that Share the Arrows will do as well there as it does in the South
00:57:29.140 and in Texas. All right. Before we get to our second voicemail to close this out, let me just
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00:58:40.520 let's do this last voicemail. Hi, Allie. I love your podcast. So before I got to know Christ and
00:58:51.980 before I became a Christian, I had an abortion. It was a very wanted pregnancy, but this termination
00:58:58.520 was for medical reasons. And since then, I have profound and deep regret. And I really struggle
00:59:06.300 to come to terms with my decision.
00:59:08.860 It's something that really eats away at me.
00:59:10.880 So I was just wondering
00:59:11.700 if you could talk about this on your show, 0.58
00:59:13.620 if you have any experience with any other women
00:59:15.740 who have gone through this,
00:59:16.900 or if you have any advice for women
00:59:19.840 who have gone through this
00:59:21.000 and are now living with the consequences
00:59:22.560 of this awful decision.
00:59:24.800 Thank you so much and God bless you.
00:59:26.580 Bye.
00:59:29.060 Well, thank you so much for sharing.
00:59:30.720 I'm sure that wasn't easy.
00:59:32.120 I'm sure it's not easy to even think about,
00:59:33.800 much less talk about.
00:59:34.700 Um, we have had a guest on this show who has an incredible testimony
00:59:38.880 Actually multiple guests on the show who have abortions as part of their testimony before they became a christian
00:59:45.740 And that deep regret that guilt
00:59:48.340 I just want you to know that that is important for you to feel
00:59:52.620 Not because I want you to just be buried with shame for the rest of your life and want to hide in the darkness
00:59:57.640 but it is an indication of the Holy spirit in you and working in you that you understand the
01:00:03.760 depth of that sin and understand what actually happened. I think so many of us, I'm not even
01:00:09.400 just talking about abortion, but so many of us try to make ourselves feel better about past sins
01:00:15.840 that we have committed by saying, well, it, you know, it wasn't really that bad, or it didn't
01:00:20.620 really hurt anyone, or it's not that big of a deal. And that's really a lie from Satan to try
01:00:26.740 to make us feel better about the wrong things we've done, when you know that you have wronged
01:00:31.680 another human being, you have wronged the God who created you and that baby, I think that is where
01:00:37.340 you actually have to start to have the full surrendered humility that's needed for each
01:00:42.620 and every one of us to come before the God of the universe and just say, I need you to heal me.
01:00:47.060 I understand that you can forgive me. And that is true. In case you're struggling with that,
01:00:51.040 there is nothing that God cannot forgive. And not because of you, but because of Christ,
01:00:55.680 because God sacrificed himself and shed his blood on the cross. And because God is the creator,
01:01:02.300 because God is perfect, his sacrifice is fully sufficient for you, for me, for every single
01:01:08.320 person who has ever sinned on the planet. His blood is sufficient to cover those sins. And so
01:01:15.560 you're not too far gone. You're not too far off. You haven't committed the one sin that cannot be
01:01:19.940 forgiven. It was a sin. It was wrong. It is very regrettable. It's okay to feel guilt about it.
01:01:25.680 but you are not beyond forgiveness. And I can't tell you how many times God has turned
01:01:30.500 ashes to beauty and has redeemed these horrible situations that Satan meant for evil and used it
01:01:36.480 for good. And how he does that typically is through the power of your testimony,
01:01:41.340 is by sharing what you went through, sharing the regret you feel, and then helping other women make
01:01:48.640 the right decision. That doesn't have to be publicly on a podcast. It might just be in a
01:01:53.360 pregnancy center. It might just be with a friend who is trying to make this decision herself.
01:01:58.960 I wonder if you have volunteered at a pregnancy center. If you're not yet, then I would really
01:02:04.740 encourage you to do that. I think that God could accomplish a lot of healing for you as you start
01:02:11.680 to use your testimony to help other women choose life. And I think that you could see that even
01:02:17.540 though that was not God's will for you to make that decision in the life of your child, even
01:02:23.460 though it was a sin, that God is a good and merciful and redemptive God, that he's actually
01:02:29.260 in the business of redemption and testimony using. I think that you will see how he can use you and
01:02:37.940 that this isn't something that is just going to be wasted because in the life of the believer,
01:02:42.240 nothing is wasted. All things, all things work together for the good of those who love God and
01:02:48.420 are called according to his purpose. That's Romans 8, 28. And God can use this to help save lives
01:02:54.360 and to bring people to himself. So that's what I would say. First, go to the Lord, openly surrender
01:03:00.140 and ask for forgiveness. If you have not already done that, ask for healing. I would say, go to
01:03:06.560 your local church. Find a godly female mentor that you can talk to, maybe a biblical counselor 1.00
01:03:12.520 if you haven't done that already, and volunteer at your local pregnancy center. That's what I 0.97
01:03:17.280 would say. And just preach the gospel to yourself every day, that his blood is totally sufficient
01:03:22.300 for you and your forgiveness and your reconciliation to God. Preach that good news to yourself. And
01:03:28.980 when Satan tries to accuse you, which is what he does, he's the great accuser, you remind yourself
01:03:33.880 that if you are a Christian, if by grace, through faith, you have been saved, which it sounds like
01:03:39.320 you are a Christian, that Jesus is your advocate. And Jesus is not denied by God when he advocates
01:03:45.880 for his sheep. Jesus is standing before the throne of God saying, no, she's good. Her record is
01:03:51.340 cleared. Her slate is clean. You see that I'm white as snow. I give that to her. And Jesus's
01:03:57.760 innocence becomes your own. And just trust in that. It's not trusting in yourself. It's trusting in
01:04:03.300 Christ and his sacrifice for you that can give you the peace that passes understanding. All right.
01:04:08.700 Thank you so much for all of your questions. If you ever have a question, need advice, want clarity
01:04:12.640 on something, I'll do my best to give it. Our call number is 844-755-5252. Leave us a message.
01:04:19.360 Try to keep it 30 seconds or less. It'll be more likely to be listened to and responded to on the
01:04:25.940 show if so. All right. We'll see you guys back here on Wednesday.
01:04:33.300 Thank you.