Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 1364 ｜ War on Dads, Is Podcasting Preaching？ & the Worst Pregnancy Comments

00:00:00.640 Forget the war on Christmas. 0.84

00:00:02.460 It's the war on Father's Day that we've got to pay attention to. 1.00

00:00:05.680 Also, Dr. Al Mohler is here to clarify what is the function of a pastor that a woman cannot 0.96

00:00:12.100 biblically fulfill?

00:00:13.820 Also, did he really say he doesn't believe in female Christian podcasters?

00:00:18.680 Also, at the end of this, we've got some lifestyle pitter patter. 0.91

00:00:21.100 Here's what you should and should not ever say to a pregnant woman. 1.00

00:00:24.620 This episode is brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers. 1.00

00:00:27.140 Go to GoodRanchers.com.

00:00:28.560 Use code ALIA at checkout.

00:00:29.540 That's good ranchers.com code alley. Hey guys, welcome to relatable happy Wednesday. Hope

00:00:44.520 everyone has, uh, is having a wonderful week and has had a wonderful week. So far, we got a lot to

00:00:50.140 talk about today. I first want to cover this war on father's day that is going on. And look,

00:00:57.960 I haven't talked about the war on Christmas and some of the paranoid things that Christians 0.72

00:01:04.440 are accused of caring about, but truly, blatantly, grossly, there really is a battle against

00:01:11.440 celebrating good fathers and good mothers too.

00:01:14.740 Like, what does this say?

00:01:15.980 Not only about our culture's perspective on the family, which we already know is completely 0.92

00:01:20.200 degraded, but also just our view on the Imago Dei, our view on the authority of all things,

00:01:26.800 the creator of all things. It really is that deep, y'all. It really is that deep. So we'll get into

00:01:31.660 that. As you can see, I'm in a remote setup. I will be for the next couple episodes. Next week

00:01:37.940 will be a little bit different. We'll have a Monday, Wednesday episode. Then for the 4th of

00:01:41.200 July, we will not be having an episode next Friday. And then the next week we're taking

00:01:45.420 off for recording. So it's a vacation week for the relatable team. And we might be putting out

00:01:51.080 some interviews that you haven't heard before that we have stocked up, or we might be doing

00:01:54.960 some replays but just fyi what's coming down the pipeline in the next couple weeks also if you

00:02:01.880 haven't gotten your share the arrows tickets women we are expecting probably um if the lord

00:02:07.700 wills to sell out but looking at the numbers now we are so far ahead of where we were this time

00:02:13.080 last year by orders of magnitude and so we have a 7 000 person limit and if you have not gotten

00:02:20.080 your tickets yet, I really do encourage you, go ahead and get them. Bring your small group,

00:02:25.580 bring your mother-in-law, bring your mom, bring your sisters, bring your friends,

00:02:28.660 whether you're a Christian or you're a skeptic, if you've never been to a Christian women's

00:02:32.060 conference, or if that is like your thing, this is going to be different for you. You're going

00:02:36.160 to love it. You're going to feel refreshed. You're going to leave with lifelong friends.

00:02:40.640 It's going to be hard hitting gospel centered. And so at a fine, if you go to share the arrows.com,

00:02:46.660 You can get your tickets today. That's on October 10th in Dallas, Texas. Shane and Shane leading

00:02:51.620 worship. We've got Alisa Childers. We've got Rosaria Butterfield. We've got Kosti Hinn,

00:02:57.420 a whole group of incredible speakers that I cannot wait for you to hear from. It's brought

00:03:03.140 to you by our friends at We Heart Nutrition this year. So go to sharethearrows.com, get your tickets

00:03:08.200 today. All right. Let's look at what the New York Times decided to publish this weekend of all

00:03:13.780 weekend of all things. Now, as I read you this headline, you might be thinking, really, in the

00:03:18.820 year of our Lord, 2026, this is what the New York Times is talking about. I thought we were over this

00:03:24.920 madness. I thought we realized and successfully stigmatized roping kids into being sources of 0.57

00:03:32.500 affirmation for gender delusion. But apparently there's the expiration date on that has not come

00:03:39.840 to pass, at least for the New York Times. So just let me read to you what their most circulated

00:03:46.280 story was from this weekend that apparently was supposed to celebrate Father's Day. To my daughter,

00:03:53.980 the headline says, my gender was never complicated. Now, if you didn't pick up on this, this is a woman

00:04:01.560 who has quote unquote transitioned into being a man. And I say quote unquote because it's not

00:04:06.340 actually possible. You can't change your DNA. That was already determined at conception,

00:04:11.260 but you can tragically take off your breasts. You can inject yourself with synthetic hormones, 0.99

00:04:16.700 which are not good for your body at all. And you can present yourself as a man and you can

00:04:22.960 convince your children that the mother that they have is actually a father. And because children

00:04:29.700 are hardwired to please our parents and to make sense of the world that they are in, because

00:04:35.280 they're so vulnerable and they have to orient themselves to make themselves feel safe and

00:04:39.660 secure, that child will probably affirm, um, affirm whatever the parent wants.

00:04:46.840 And so that is what this article is about.

00:04:49.240 And it's filled with these like comic weird animations.

00:04:53.800 Like you've seen this, this is like the progressive calling card.

00:04:56.500 I don't know why they use this kind of animation, but you can see we've got what is supposed

00:05:03.080 to look like a father and a daughter it's the kind of cartoon if you're just uh listening to

00:05:08.940 this that all of the limbs are really fat and the heads are really tiny and everyone kind of looks

00:05:15.100 gender neutral it's aesthetically objectively very ugly art which progressivism ends up devolving 0.92

00:05:22.900 into ugliness anyway that's just what happens when you deny truth um so you can see here here's one 1.00

00:05:29.600 of the comic strip things, I guess, if you can call it that. So the top says they kids can move

00:05:35.400 between complex topics. And then the text bubble or the word bubble says, how long did you have

00:05:43.400 breasts for dad? What a tragic, tragic line for a child to utter. The daughter is later shown at

00:05:51.880 school with friends where a friend says, you can't grow a beard. You're a girl. And the daughter

00:05:56.820 responds my dad did and he was a girl and these children are like hanging from monkey bars and

00:06:03.700 this is supposed to prove that this is super simple or maybe it proves that it is so delusional

00:06:10.920 that a child who still believes that there is a fat man that can circle the universe in one night

00:06:17.500 fit down their chimney and put presents under the tree like that they believe it because they

00:06:22.940 believe all kinds of fantastical things. It doesn't actually speak to some kind of transcendent

00:06:28.320 truth just because a child believes it. So this entire article is about a woman trying to convince

00:06:36.920 her daughter that she is really a man and that she is really a dad, which is really the opposite

00:06:42.700 of what fatherhood is because fatherhood requires sacrifice. It's about putting your needs and your

00:06:51.700 wants in subjection to what your child actually needs. And so you are sacrificing certainly your

00:06:59.780 delusions, your most carnal desires, um, in order to serve your children well. And this woman can't 0.97

00:07:07.380 do that because she will never be a dad. And this is what the New York times chooses to highlight 0.93

00:07:12.920 on father's day, someone who is not a father and who can never be a father and hoisting this person

00:07:19.180 up is actually the pinnacle of fatherhood. It's just meant to be subversive. It's meant to be as

00:07:25.020 far from actual healthy fatherhood and masculinity as possible. And that's really the point. It's

00:07:31.680 really a humiliation ritual for men. It's really a belittling, condescending practice that is

00:07:39.560 trying to say, look, like men aren't really that important. Fathers are completely replaceable.

00:07:45.620 nothing that is innate within you is something that a child needs or that this world needs.

00:07:51.140 You can don it like a costume and you can, you know, force it into your children and say that

00:07:57.860 it's some kind of spiritual affirmation of who you're supposed to be. Um, it really is just like

00:08:05.960 saying two plus two equals five. It's satanic goes all the way back to the beginning. All right.

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00:09:30.040 the new york times also has a podcast and in their daily podcast they did a father's day episode

00:09:41.600 and it was called can a bad man be a good father uh in the interview uh janeau describes discovering

00:09:50.360 his father's collection of extreme porn and his father's romantic and sexual relationships with

00:09:54.760 women he met while selling handbags all while married here's that saw two the thing about my

00:10:01.240 dad was he presented himself in a very forthrightly sexual way and it wasn't like that was simply for

00:10:11.980 show my father had an affair with my first friend's mother when i was three years old

00:10:21.240 and i knew it you knew it i knew it somehow somehow i knew that something was was wrong

00:10:29.960 something was off something that made my mom unhappy okay so in this not highlighting a good

00:10:37.520 father i mean from what i could tell this is the this is the only episode they had honoring

00:10:43.360 fatherhood it's an interesting question can a bad man be a good dad like i think of tony soprano

00:10:49.600 There are certainly moments when he was, I guess, a loving father to his kids.

00:10:56.640 But again, we're seeing something subversive.

00:10:59.000 We're seeing something scandalous.

00:11:01.260 We are presenting something or we're being presented by the New York Times with this

00:11:06.460 thing that you think is really bad or really awful or stigmatized.

00:11:09.800 It can actually be OK.

00:11:11.180 It can actually be healthy.

00:11:12.280 It could actually probably be good.

00:11:14.860 There's another op-ed.

00:11:16.200 Dads get postpartum depression, too.

00:11:18.440 look, there's a lot of things that men can get. There's a lot of issues that should be highlighted

00:11:24.380 for the sake of men. Can like, you just let us have this one. Can women have the postpartum

00:11:30.320 depression? Can we just hold on to that one? There's another one, the pain of caring for a 1.00

00:11:36.160 parent who abused you. Um, so again, highlighting abusive parents, that's not to say it's not

00:11:42.680 important to talk about that or to talk about people's experiences and having these very

00:11:47.220 complicated and bad parents. It's fine to have those conversations, but I would like to see

00:11:53.480 among that some positive stories of what a great impact the dad, your dad had on you,

00:11:59.780 how present he was, how much he loved you, how much he cheered you on and how that shaped you

00:12:04.440 for the rest of your life. But we don't see any unapologetically positive stories about dad

00:12:09.260 from the New York times. Here's another one that I just find terrible. These are all in 2026. Okay.

00:12:15.180 So these are all leading up to father's day. This is the, the road to father's day was paved

00:12:20.880 with all of these stories about bad dads. My father's death. This is a New York times article

00:12:26.340 was the start of my life. It was written by a woman who gives an account of her relationship

00:12:30.240 with her emotionally absent father and credits his death with understanding her own mortality.

00:12:36.700 All right. So again, just subversive. It's kind of like that book by Jeanette McCurdy,

00:12:43.360 which actually was a really interesting and compelling book, but the title was I'm Glad My Mom

00:12:48.480 Died. Okay, that's on her own personal story. I'm not saying that's a bad title. It's an interesting

00:12:52.780 title and a very interesting story of her life. But again, the New York Times is only going to

00:13:00.020 highlight things like this of, oh, your dad's death was a good thing because he was bad.

00:13:05.200 There was also this piece and the Toronto Star, a modest proposal, why it's time to abolish

00:13:10.560 Father's Day. It claims that the holiday puts an undue burden on kids to scramble to buy

00:13:16.260 useless gifts. Now, this is a little bit of bait and switch. It's a little bit of clickbait

00:13:22.940 because the author claims like the real gift is quality time. OK, so if your problem is

00:13:29.160 materialism, that's one thing or you just think it's, you know, a made up reason to buy Hallmark

00:13:34.920 cards. That's fine. But the title, we need to abolish Father's Day or we need to abolish

00:13:40.360 Mother's Day. Another thing that I've heard in the past done due to some undue burden that's

00:13:45.240 just perpetuating this idea that celebrating fathers and positive fatherhood is not something

00:13:52.140 that we need to do. It's just excessive and even oppressive in some ways. And then if you'll

00:13:57.580 remember Mother's Day, we've had this conversation for the past two years. Why does it seem like

00:14:02.660 Mother's Day is a day that requires so much coddling from companies. It's not that trauma

00:14:08.200 around your experience with your mom is not legitimate, or if you lost your mom, that you

00:14:14.300 shouldn't be sad about it, or that it's not a sensitive day. It just seems like these companies

00:14:19.000 go out of their way to say, you know what? Anyone can be a mom, no matter what kind of mothering

00:14:25.360 you take on. It's all the same validity. It's all the same importance. And then also you can opt out

00:14:32.480 of seeing any kind of celebration of motherhood whatsoever, not trying to be insensitive to the

00:14:38.040 real pain that you can carry when it comes to bad experiences with your mom or dad, but also like

00:14:44.620 at some point we just need to say, take my feelings out of it, my experiences out of it.

00:14:49.720 That's my responsibility. I'll do what I have to do to protect myself that day or work through

00:14:54.160 those feelings or heal. But the more important thing is that in general, mothers and fathers

00:14:59.640 need to be celebrated. At the very least, these roles need to be celebrated. There's this article

00:15:04.820 in PopSugar, no Mother's Day isn't just about mothers. And here's why. Instead of having the

00:15:11.500 day revolve around only mothers, we should celebrate the many fantastic roles all women

00:15:16.620 out there have. So minimizing the importance of motherhood and being the giver and the nurturer

00:15:23.360 of life by saying it's basically the same as working at a marketing company. It's basically

00:15:28.960 the same as planting flowers. Those things can be good and they can glorify God, but they're not the

00:15:34.880 same as motherhood. Last year in a New York Times op-ed titled My Mother and I Bond Over Ignoring

00:15:40.820 Mother's Day, the author celebrates the fact that she and her mother neglected the holiday

00:15:45.100 despite big florists. All right. In May 2017, the Washington Post ran the headline,

00:15:51.460 for some gay parents, Mother's Day or Father's Day is awkward. So again, centering the subversive

00:15:59.760 or transgressive aspects of our society on a day that's supposed to celebrate the institution that

00:16:08.920 has existed since the beginning of time. A Time magazine piece about Mother's Day a few years ago

00:16:14.900 wanted to refocus the holiday not on women who have children, but on women being able to kill 0.96

00:16:20.720 their children. Not joking. Aubrey Hirsch's article was titled, Flowers and Cards Are Nice. 1.00

00:16:26.500 I'd Rather Have Bodily Autonomy. She wrote that it's the first Mother's Day since Roe was overturned.

00:16:33.120 So again, I think this was 2023 it would have been. Why is this a problem? This is having serious

00:16:39.780 effects on the lives of people who can become pregnant. People who can become pregnant. That's 0.96

00:16:45.240 not just moms, according to Time Magazine. Research by the Society for Family Planning

00:16:49.660 shows a sharp drop in the number of abortions in the six months after Roe v. Wade was overturned,

00:16:54.640 suggesting that many people who might have otherwise terminated a pregnancy,

00:16:58.820 another euphemism there, killed their child, could not legally do so. So what's most important,

00:17:04.280 according to this article in Time Magazine, on a day celebrating the fact that only women can

00:17:09.700 get pregnant, only women can bear life, only women can mother, is that one, anyone can be a mom,

00:17:16.120 girl or boy, mom or dad, or man or woman, and that the real pinnacle of purpose and motherhood 0.84

00:17:24.360 is the ability to legally kill the baby inside your world. How saddamic is that? In 2020,

00:17:31.060 Psychology Today, a journalist there or a writer there argued that society should abolish Mother's

00:17:37.660 Day altogether. Mother's Day is an unfair holiday to push upon the world, an unjust holiday to force

00:17:44.080 upon people who have lost their mothers, lost a child, hate their mothers, hate their children,

00:17:47.960 want to be a mother, but can't don't want to be a mother and are societally shamed for it.

00:17:53.580 Thought they wanted to be a mother and realize, whoops, that was a mistake. Okay. These days

00:17:58.720 are not meant to cater to every single subsection of society or every single person's trauma or

00:18:05.860 emotions. That's not what these days are for. We are so unable to read something or to see

00:18:12.700 something and say that is true, or that is good in principle, even if it doesn't apply to me.

00:18:17.560 And this is not just true of the secular world. I see this every day online. Someone says something

00:18:21.780 that is generally true, or even puts a million caveats on what they're saying and says, you know,

00:18:26.240 this is what I believe. And I think that in principle, this is right. You'll get a million

00:18:31.320 comments from people saying why their situation is the exception to the rule that person just

00:18:36.320 articulated. That is a narcissistic me centered way of consuming information in the world.

00:18:41.100 like i like to say on social media if it's not about you it's not about you if what someone is

00:18:46.860 saying doesn't apply to you then it's not about you and actually you will conserve a lot of your

00:18:52.380 energy that is much better channeled towards other people or channeled towards your own joy

00:18:57.900 and fulfillment if you don't exhaust it trying to explain away why one person's celebration or one

00:19:04.060 person's observation isn't applicable to your specific situation like you know we talk a lot

00:19:12.020 about therapy culture and how therapy culture has kind of infected the church in some ways and

00:19:18.620 infected different parts of society but it's like people believe that everywhere is therapy that

00:19:24.480 every person is their therapist and they just are dying to be understood in the most minute way

00:19:30.900 That's actually not a great way to live. And I blame like which Disney princess are you quizzes,

00:19:36.200 the personality test that we were all required to take in high school and college and not say

00:19:40.960 that there's no benefit to understanding yourself, but it comes like it comes with limitations,

00:19:48.500 with parameters. Like eventually you just have to de-center yourself and realize the world and

00:19:54.440 mother's day and father's day and Christmas and all of these things that might make you sad.

00:19:57.920 they aren't about you. And it also just speaks to our need for a savior, our need for like a source

00:20:04.220 of joy, a source of purpose that is transcendent, that is outside of ourselves. I think it's

00:20:09.260 exchanging the God of scripture for the God of self. When you worship the God of self,

00:20:13.100 you see everything through the lens of the God of self, and it really steals your joy.

00:20:19.340 Everything becomes about victimizing you and slighting you. And that is a way to live that

00:20:27.220 will impede your happiness. Ironically, because these are the people who claim to always be

00:20:32.400 pursuing their happiness and doing what makes them feel good. Um, all right, we'll get into

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00:21:40.820 Allie. So secular leftism, and I would just say leftism in general. I don't even know if it needs

00:21:52.320 a modifier, but secularism, leftism typically go hand in hand. It really is just a rejection of

00:21:59.900 not only the created order and a rejection of things that have worked, a rejection of things

00:22:05.720 that are true and good and natural, but also a rejection of the creator of those things.

00:22:11.920 And so if you want to know, like, why would you do this? Why are you trying to be so transgressive?

00:22:16.500 Why are you trying to undermine what clearly has brought stability to every society and

00:22:22.520 all of time, designations of male and female, the necessity of mom and dad, the strength

00:22:29.040 of a cohesive nuclear family with mom and dad and children all living under the same

00:22:34.300 roof and working together?

00:22:35.840 Why would you want to undermine something that works so well?

00:22:39.360 Because everything is about rejecting the creator.

00:22:43.280 everything is about worshiping the creature and worshiping the self and worshiping and following

00:22:50.460 carnal desires. We've seen that in every society that has existed for all of time. When you try

00:22:57.340 to define nature, when you try to defy God's moral truth, chaos ensues, sexual chaos, which

00:23:04.760 always ends in the victimization of children, societal chaos and corruption. Go back and listen

00:23:10.980 to the episode that I did with Seth Gruber, and he talks about the history of this and

00:23:15.880 how societies that embrace this kind of sexual confusion and depravity, especially once it

00:23:22.280 is institutionalized, commercialized, normalized, glorified, seen as good, that nation typically

00:23:30.320 only has about 90 more years of survival and the clock is ticking for us.

00:23:37.140 And so go back, listen to that episode because super insightful.

00:23:41.380 The beautiful thing is for Christians, this doesn't have to be complicated.

00:23:45.100 And in a world where I think a lot of people, especially children, as we saw in that first

00:23:49.080 New York Times article, they're searching for clarity.

00:23:51.400 They're searching for understanding. 0.76

00:23:53.240 It's not that gender confusion and depravity is good and normal and right to them. 0.96

00:23:59.420 They're searching for the truth. 0.99

00:24:00.740 They just want answers. 0.65

00:24:01.580 So the reason that they simplify these very weird, complex things like, oh, a woman became

00:24:07.280 a man and a mom became a dad is because they're seeking truth.

00:24:12.860 They're seeking what is clear.

00:24:14.400 And Christians have this wonderful privilege and honor.

00:24:17.820 And not only that, but this responsibility to say it actually is really easy.

00:24:22.440 Not only is the science straightforward and easy, XX and XY, and the anomalies that exist

00:24:28.940 within that, just point to the fall and the fact that nothing is perfect on this side of heaven,

00:24:34.000 but it doesn't negate the rule. The exceptions don't rewrite the rule of XX and XY, but

00:24:39.280 theologically it's clear. Like it was so clear and so fundamental that God put it in the very

00:24:45.200 first chapter of the first book of the Bible that we are made in his image, male and female.

00:24:50.280 That means somehow kind of mysteriously, since God himself is not actually in a gendered body,

00:24:56.820 that to be made male and female is to be made in God's image and to be made in God's image is to

00:25:02.580 be made male and female. That's what Genesis one 27 tells us. It's like, God was like, you don't 0.80

00:25:07.180 even have to read 30 verses before I tell you what's up. Y'all are going to be so confused

00:25:11.100 about this. And if you end up denying Genesis one 27, when it comes to marriage, when it comes to

00:25:17.180 gender, when it comes to the existence of that institution to create and to protect children and

00:25:24.520 to be the building block of society, you're going to end up messing up everything else, too. It's a 1.00

00:25:29.500 trickle-down effect. And this is true whether you are a secular society, whether you're a Buddhist

00:25:34.000 society, or whether you're a Christian society. But specifically within Christianity, you absolutely

00:25:40.400 see that once you deny Genesis 1.27, that person almost always ends up denying John 14.6. When

00:25:48.540 Jesus says, I am the way, the truth, the life. No one comes to the father except through me.

00:25:54.840 That just ends up being the theological direction that people go in. Because if you are denying the

00:26:03.580 authority of the creator when it comes to biology, then of course you're going to deny the authority

00:26:09.780 of the savior when it comes to salvation. Why would you accept one that takes a lot more faith

00:26:16.160 than seeing the reality of the biological distinction between male and female.

00:26:22.440 You know, in talking about this whole thing about female pastors, which we're about to

00:26:26.700 talk about more in a second, when we talked to Al Mohler, my brother texted me something

00:26:31.600 that I hadn't thought about when I was talking about this on, on Monday, we were talking

00:26:37.460 about what the Bible actually says, what this first Timothy passage, um, means when it's

00:26:43.600 talking about, Hey, women aren't supposed to be exercising authority over men in the local church. 0.75

00:26:47.720 They're not supposed to be pastors. They're not supposed to be preaching and teaching to men. 0.87

00:26:51.840 He says, my brother, Paul gives Timothy at first Timothy one, eight, uh, 18 through 20, 1.00

00:26:58.100 one of the reasons why there shouldn't be a woman in this type of role. He tells Timothy that others 1.00

00:27:04.320 who have not followed the instructions that he gives, uh, in the chapters that follow have

00:27:09.540 shipwrecked their faith. This issue is no small issue. It wasn't to Paul and it shouldn't be to

00:27:15.220 us. And isn't that so true that when you see Christians start saying, well, you know, I just 0.98

00:27:20.580 don't agree with that part of scripture. And I actually think that it's okay for a woman to 1.00

00:27:25.780 become a pastor or whatever it is. Eventually they fall away in other ways too. I'm not saying

00:27:31.920 every single time. I'm not saying that's 100% a rule, but Paul is saying, Hey, people who haven't

00:27:37.620 followed these instructions, which have been given to me by the Holy Spirit, they have ended up

00:27:42.480 walking away from the faith that they thought saved them. That's really scary. That's a really

00:27:47.380 big deal. And I hadn't really connected that previous verse to the verses later about women

00:27:52.380 not exercising authority over men in the church. So if denying the gender differences within the

00:27:59.680 church leads to chaos, I mean, just imagine how much bigger the consequences are when it comes

00:28:05.460 to society in general. When we look at how this actually manifests itself in legislation,

00:28:11.580 one thing that comes to mind is this effort by New York lawmakers to remove any gendered language

00:28:18.000 from state family law, replacing terms like mother and father with gestating parent and

00:28:23.480 non-gestating parent. See, the funny thing is, is that these progressives who simultaneously will

00:28:28.800 be like women are so much more than wombs. They're so much more than just their bodies.

00:28:34.380 They're so much more than just mothers. Well, they've now reduced us to our ability to have 1.00

00:28:40.580 kids or not. That's all that means. Gestating and non-gestating, which I actually think

00:28:46.820 goes to the biological brass tacks even more than the terms women, men, mother, father.

00:28:54.180 Okay. Gestating parent, non-gestating parent. The bill is now on Governor Kathy Hochul's desk

00:28:59.200 awaiting her signature or veto. This is what happens. You know, we talk a lot about people

00:29:04.180 who try to out nice God or out love God or out mercy God by disagreeing with him saying, oh,

00:29:09.720 his dictates when it comes to sexuality and sin, those are just too harsh. I think I can out mercy

00:29:15.920 him and out compassion him. So let me try that and kind of apologize for God. Can't do that.

00:29:20.760 God is love. First John four, eight people also try to outsmart God. Like, Ooh, what newfangled

00:29:25.840 language can I use? What euphemisms can I use to try to deny this very blatant reality and

00:29:32.100 reconstruct society in our image. You know, they tried to do something like that with the Tower of

00:29:37.860 Babel and God confused them. And I see a lot of the reflections of that story in our world today

00:29:44.360 that we are starting to use language that people don't even understand within the same country.

00:29:49.780 And not because of a different in accents or a different in dialects or a difference even in

00:29:58.760 our original primary languages. But because of a difference in belief system, we don't even have

00:30:04.820 the same language anymore. It's interesting. As G.K. Chesterton observed, the men and women who,

00:30:11.420 for good reasons and bad, revolt against the family are, for good reasons and bad,

00:30:15.620 simply revolting against mankind. And that is absolutely true. When you look at the stats on

00:30:22.580 fatherlessness, it is absolutely undeniable that God knew what he was doing when he created this

00:30:29.380 institution, when he made Adam our first father, when he calls himself our father. We don't have

00:30:35.160 as many statistics on motherlessness because it's a cultural anomaly. In the history of the world, 0.82

00:30:41.040 it's pretty new, this phenomenon of children being raised motherless. And why it's happening

00:30:47.740 is not because suddenly moms are denying their maternal instinct and they're no longer raising 1.00

00:30:52.380 their children. Of course, that happens in a way through abortion, but children being born and 1.00

00:30:57.960 abandoned by their moms, it's much rarer than children being born and abandoned by their

00:31:03.940 fathers. But we are re-engineering society by allowing two men to buy eggs and rent wombs 0.99

00:31:10.700 and create these children and steal the children away from their mother and away from their 0.98

00:31:16.100 gestator and to raise them motherless. I mean, it's cruel. We talk about that all the time. 0.53

00:31:21.460 we don't have the statistics on that. We probably will never have all of the statistics on that

00:31:25.860 because it's politically incorrect. So about one in four children in America don't have a father

00:31:32.420 in the home. One in four. And the number of children living only with their mother has

00:31:37.040 doubled in the past 50 years. Black Americans hit absolutely the hardest. I think it's about

00:31:42.920 70% of black children do not have a present father in their home. Historically, around 70%

00:31:48.720 of incarcerated youths didn't live with both parents while growing up. According to an NIH

00:31:54.620 study, children without fathers had poor social emotional adjustment and worse adult mental health.

00:31:59.620 One study of juvenile delinquents found that 66%, two thirds had experienced fatherlessness. Okay.

00:32:06.500 This is true about sexual promiscuity, teen pregnancy. This is true about eating disorders,

00:32:11.540 anxiety, likelihood of poverty. All of those things go up when you don't have a present

00:32:16.460 father in the home. Not a perfect father, but a present father. On the hopeful side, the fathers

00:32:21.680 who are present are much more involved than they used to be. And a study from April, economic

00:32:25.620 analyst Aziz Sundarji outlined how modern dads spend far more time actively raising their children

00:32:32.520 than previous generations. I mean, this is true. We've all seen this. We've all experienced this

00:32:37.160 with our husbands. Fathers today spend more time caring for their children than fathers did 50

00:32:41.620 years ago, millennial dads do four times more childcare than boomer dads did. Now, some of that

00:32:46.760 is probably because women are working outside of the home more, and that doesn't have a positive 1.00

00:32:52.820 impact when all of these women are outsourcing their care to daycare centers. But we're talking

00:32:58.900 about present dads. We're not just talking about outsourcing care to strangers. And dads being more

00:33:04.880 present and doing more things with their kids is a good thing. Dads who spend more time caring for

00:33:09.340 their children report higher levels of happiness. Today, fathers prefer to care for their kids

00:33:13.760 more than watching TV. That is wonderful. That's not something that you expected to see. I do think

00:33:19.600 COVID had a lot of negative impacts, especially when it came to child abuse and things like that.

00:33:24.720 But for the dads who have been able to work from home and really be with their kids and spend time

00:33:30.920 with their kids for the past six plus years, they're like, yeah, this is amazing. I get a

00:33:35.240 front row seat to the best show ever. And that is seeing all of these little moments that dads in

00:33:40.720 the past have historically had to miss, or in some cases have chosen to miss. Psalm 103, 13 says,

00:33:48.040 as a father shows compassion to his children, so the Lord shows compassion to those who fear him.

00:33:52.560 For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? He disciplines us for our good that

00:33:57.460 we may share in his holiness. Hebrews 12, talking about a father disciplining his children because

00:34:03.460 he loves them and God disciplining us because he loves us over and over again. We see that

00:34:09.020 a father's love is opposed to reflect God's love for us. Parents are to train up their children 0.70

00:34:14.760 with godly instruction, train up a child in the way he should go. Even when he is old,

00:34:19.920 he will not depart from it. That is a principle. Obviously that is not always true, but Proverbs

00:34:25.800 is filled with principles that it's better to do it this way because it's more likely to lead to

00:34:29.760 this outcome. That's Proverbs 22, 6. Hear my son, your father's instruction and forsake not your

00:34:35.940 mother's teaching. So both mother and father there. It's not that parenting is only a mom's job.

00:34:41.140 It's both of your jobs. You do different things in different ways, in necessary ways, but both

00:34:47.080 the teaching of the mom and the father's instruction is necessary for they are graceful garland for

00:34:53.040 your head. Proverbs 1, 8 through 9. My son, keep your father's commandment and forsake not your

00:34:58.640 mother's teaching. That's Proverbs 6, 20. And what we also read in Ephesians 5 through 6,

00:35:05.320 typically what the secularists, what the subversives will point out is only that Ephesians

00:35:10.560 5 verse that we've talked about so much. Oh, wives submit to your husbands. Oh, how oppressive,

00:35:14.300 how awful. Well, that would have been very normal at the time. Women were seen as submissive. They

00:35:20.040 were seen as in a submissive and a lesser role in many of these secular and pagan societies, 0.56

00:35:26.360 even in societies where they're worshiping female deities, in practice, women were not seen as full

00:35:33.180 people. And so this idea of a woman submitting to her husband wouldn't have been radical. What was

00:35:37.960 radical is that husbands had to love their wives as wives loved the church. It wouldn't have been

00:35:42.600 radical for in Ephesians 6, Paul to say, hey, children obey your parents. Yeah, of course they

00:35:47.500 were supposed to. What would have been radical was the parameter and the rule of the chastisement

00:35:52.020 given to fathers. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the

00:35:58.100 discipline and the instruction of the Lord. Don't provoke your children to anger. That is a parameter

00:36:06.280 for the dad. This was a time where men really weren't given these kind of authority structures

00:36:13.620 besides the government, besides by people more powerful than them, to treat those weaker than

00:36:22.360 them with dignity and with grace and with love and with gentleness. Colossians 3.21 also echoes

00:36:28.540 this. Fathers, do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged. That's because the

00:36:33.980 father's word and the father's discipline and the father's instruction, his actions, his disposition,

00:36:38.920 his mood, his facial expression has a huge effect on children. Again, not looking for perfect

00:36:45.780 fathers or perfect mothers, but present ones, loving ones. That is why it is so important for

00:36:50.540 moms and dads to submit themselves to the Lord because we can't do it on our own. On our own,

00:36:56.040 we become these crazy New York Times headlines that are denigrating fatherhood and motherhood.

00:37:01.640 We become very confused. We become very selfish. We become very angry. We become very overstimulated

00:37:08.100 and we excuse ourselves for all kinds of failures as people and as parents. We need the Lord and we

00:37:13.320 need his grace. And gosh, this country does too, because we are very confused about very

00:37:17.180 fundamental things. You can't outsmart God. You can't out kind him. You can't out wisdom him.

00:37:23.740 You can't out science him. He created all of it. And the most loving thing that we can do as

00:37:28.620 Christians, if we believe God's ways are better, if we believe he is love is to be agents of this

00:37:34.100 clarity in a world of chaos, to push back against the darkness, forced motherlessness and

00:37:39.020 fatherlessness, the denigration of fathers and mothers started in our own homes, how we treat

00:37:43.800 our spouses, how we talk about marriage, how we talk about children, how we talk to our children. 0.99

00:37:49.220 That is true. If you're single, you got a bunch of single friends in your Bible study who don't

00:37:54.700 like the idea of children or get easily annoyed or have feminist mentalities about getting married

00:38:02.160 and having godly marriages, maybe you're the voice of truth in that group or at work with

00:38:07.400 your friends, with your family, whatever it is, you can be an agent of clarity in this world of

00:38:11.820 chaos. And God does great things through that obedience, even if it seems small right now.

00:38:17.820 All right. Speaking of the truth about gender roles and how this matters within the church,

00:38:23.260 I want to talk to the author of this constitutional amendment that is still up for a vote next year

00:38:29.380 in the Southern Baptist convention, Dr. Al Mohler, about what actually went down and why

00:38:35.680 it matters. It'll be a short conversation. Then we'll have some lifestyle pitter patter about

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00:40:10.920 Dr. Muller, thanks so much for joining us again.

00:40:13.620 You know, one of the questions that I've gotten is we've talked about your truth and unity amendment, even from people who agree with us about this role of pastors being exclusive to men, as outlined so clearly in scripture, is what exactly the word function means in this constitutional amendment.

00:40:33.920 Yes to office, but some people seem to be worried that the word function will be too all encompassing.

00:40:43.200 And so can you clarify, like, what is meant by that?

00:40:46.280 What would qualify as a woman occupying the function of pastor in a way that is unbiblical?

00:40:54.000 Well, you know, when the language is seen in what the SPC has taken the first step to adopt,

00:41:00.420 it says function specifically preaching to the gathered assembly.

00:41:06.240 So this goes back, Allie Beth, and it's so good to be with you.

00:41:09.900 It goes back to historic Baptist confessions, and in particular, it goes back to 1689.

00:41:15.300 So, of course, you know, I want it to be the most classic Baptist language,

00:41:19.500 biblical language that Baptists can muster.

00:41:23.480 And that confession makes very clear that the pastoral role is both an office and a function. 0.93

00:41:31.360 And I'll tell you why it's necessary.

00:41:32.960 It's because right there in the state of Texas, you have had churches that have had women

00:41:36.820 preaching on Sunday morning and not called them pastors.

00:41:39.900 So if we don't say that that specific function is reserved, according to Scripture, to men

00:41:45.300 as qualified by Scripture, then we basically are leaving a barn door open.

00:41:51.860 And so, in other words, the entire office of pastor, overseer, elder, is reserved for

00:42:01.140 men as qualified, not for all men, but men as qualified by Scripture.

00:42:04.060 And the function, the specific function of preaching to the gathered assembly is reserved

00:42:08.520 to those men.

00:42:09.900 does that make sense? Yes, it totally makes sense. And if you don't put function in,

00:42:16.040 then you could have people who say, well, she's not called a pastor. She's not called an elder.

00:42:21.120 She's not called an overseer. But if she's preaching to the gathered assembly, that's

00:42:25.800 what the pastor is to do. You know, this conversation kind of got lumped in with

00:42:33.840 a, an answer that you gave on your podcast to a woman who had written in asking, what about a

00:42:41.300 woman in our church who doesn't occupy the office of the pastor, but she is answering questions

00:42:47.840 about the sermon on a church podcast. I remember I got some messages about this from some people

00:42:54.880 saying, oh my goodness, can you believe this podcast? And I listened to it and I was like,

00:42:59.220 that's it. That's what people are worried about. Your answer to that seemed very clear and very

00:43:04.620 limited to the situation that this woman had asked about. But could you talk about that a little bit

00:43:09.380 more? Maybe expound upon that. Why in this situation is a woman that's a member of a church

00:43:14.280 expounding upon a sermon for the church? Why would that be considered something that is outside of a 0.89

00:43:22.200 woman's authority in the local body? Well, let me say, first of all, I really appreciate you

00:43:26.960 bringing this up, and I can also say that you can teach an old dog new tricks. I did not see

00:43:33.480 the timing coming between that particular question and the SVC action. There was no premeditation

00:43:40.000 there. But the bottom line is that the woman who wrote the question, it was a woman who sent in

00:43:45.320 the question. She was troubled because this was presented as an explicit extension of the preaching

00:43:52.140 ministry of the church. So in other words, it was an incredibly specific context. And so I just

00:43:57.820 wanted to answer, if you set the context as the continuation of the sermon, more or less,

00:44:03.900 well, then you, I'm just going to say, obviously, I wasn't speaking to Christian women doing

00:44:08.900 podcasting. Otherwise, I wouldn't be so glad to be with you today and so thankful for you.

00:44:13.260 That's not at all what I was talking about. It was a specific situation. And yeah, I stand by

00:44:20.780 my answer. Because if you're going to say to me, this is a continuation of the church's preaching

00:44:25.640 ministry, that's what it's presented as, well, you just answered your own question. I don't think

00:44:30.600 that's what's taking place in most podcasts. And by the way, I don't think there's anything wrong

00:44:35.200 with a woman in particular, you know, responding to a sermon. But it was clearly in what was 0.99

00:44:42.420 understood to be something of an official teaching role. So, you know, usually when you have a

00:44:48.440 question like that, the answer is implicit in the question. So I hope I have clarified and not

00:44:56.060 further confused the situation. If you're going to say that what we're doing on this podcast is

00:45:01.320 continuing the preaching ministry of the church, you just answered your own question. I'm clearly

00:45:05.480 not talking about women on Christian podcasts. That was not even in my imagination when that's

00:45:13.300 how the question came. It was very clear in the context of the question, in the context of your

00:45:19.000 answer, that you were talking specifically about this woman's question. And to me, it was very

00:45:25.720 clear that you didn't go beyond that in that answer. And if that was something that you

00:45:29.760 believed about podcasts in general or about Christian women in general, I don't think that 0.99

00:45:33.780 you would be afraid to say it. But you were very specific in your answer. But as things go, things

00:45:38.580 change and morph on social media, all different kinds of things end up happening. And yeah,

00:45:43.200 the timing, the timing was interesting. It got kind of lumped into the whole conversation about

00:45:48.660 women preaching and pastors and about this specific constitutional amendment. Reiterate to us again,

00:45:57.440 why it is important that it's not just what we read in the Baptist faith and message,

00:46:02.940 which is very clear from 2000, that only women are supposed to be pastors,

00:46:06.760 but that this actually becomes a constitutional amendment.

00:46:10.940 Well, the Baptist faith and message statement is very clear that the office of pastor is limited

00:46:15.780 to men as qualified by scripture. So again, it's not all men. What the New Testament reveals is

00:46:20.160 those particular men called to fulfill these roles, but not women. And that's in the sovereignty of

00:46:25.880 God. I think the vast, and I do mean capital letters, vast majority of Southern Baptists

00:46:33.220 are absolutely clear on this, and their churches are clear, and in right order, and in right

00:46:37.720 doctrine. The issue, though, is that the Southern Baptist Convention is an assembly, and you have

00:46:44.220 people from thousands and thousands of churches. And honestly, in any large group, you've got to

00:46:50.100 be clear about how this is applied. And so, you know, Allie Beth, 30 plus years ago, the Southern

00:46:56.240 Baptist Convention was confronted with the real challenge of the LGBTQ revolution. And so the

00:47:02.160 Southern Baptist Convention more than 30 years ago just put in the Constitution a definition of

00:47:07.280 a church in friendly cooperation with the SBC as one that takes no step to affirm or to legitimize

00:47:14.800 or in any way make a positive statement about LGBTQ issues, behaviors, relationships, etc.

00:47:21.560 I just want to tell you that that was not only right, it was necessary, and it has been incredibly

00:47:26.920 efficient for the SBC. There has not been a debate on the floor over these issues at the Southern

00:47:32.500 Baptist Convention for more than 30 years, and I think that's a tremendous achievement. That is

00:47:38.060 exactly the achievement I want through this constitutional amendment so that the issue

00:47:42.260 on the role of pastors and in men serving as pastors, that that is a constitutional issue

00:47:49.980 so that it should free the SBC from having to deal with this on the floor every year.

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00:49:46.300 And some of the pushback that I've seen is that it doesn't just come from progressives, those who deny the reality of gender altogether.

00:49:56.460 I've seen some people that are politically conservative, even in some ways, theologically conservative, really push back against this, push back against the entire idea that women can't be pastors.

00:50:08.180 and they'll appeal to some form of scripture and they'll say that these commands against women

00:50:14.700 preaching in the church that they had to do with something extremely culturally specific at the

00:50:20.380 time that it's not a general principle or a general regulation for the local body and these

00:50:27.300 are people like i said who are conservative in many ways but when it comes to this have a very

00:50:32.760 progressive interpretation of scripture you know don't end up following the rest of the verse

00:50:38.040 which actually goes all the way back to creation for the reasoning why women should be exercising

00:50:42.820 authority over men in the church. I'm sure you've seen lots and lots of arguments like this

00:50:47.440 for decades. They're not really new. But what is your response for pastors even who say,

00:50:53.500 you know what, that's just because women were yelling at the time. It was specific

00:50:58.460 disorderly context in that culture has nothing to do with today.

00:51:01.980 Allie, Beth, I so appreciate the question and the two dimensions of it you ask. And so let me go

00:51:08.460 first to the explicit biblical text. And here's where we have both a positive and a negative.

00:51:17.940 So we have in Scripture very clear setting out of the office of pastor. So think of 1 Timothy

00:51:26.220 chapter 3, Titus chapters 1 and 2, and look at this, and you'll see that there's the positive

00:51:31.260 statement, the objectively, just absolutely crystal clear statement of the men who are

00:51:38.500 qualified for these posts, and with extended biblical text. But you also have very clear

00:51:43.200 text, and you make reference to it. You know, for instance, the Apostle Paul, he doesn't just

00:51:47.240 ground this in a local church problem. As you rightly said, and this is so key, he grounds it

00:51:52.520 in creation order. So in other words, he makes the point this is not an episodic, particular,

00:51:58.420 eccentric local church issue. This is a creation order issue, which is to be reflected in the

00:52:05.000 order of the church. There's a second dimension in this I want to mention, and I've been at this

00:52:10.160 for a very long time, and I will just tell you, and I will stake my reputation on this.

00:52:16.660 The way of interpreting the Scripture that is necessary in order to get around those very 0.76

00:52:22.080 clear texts limiting the teaching office to men. There are all kinds of, I would say, 0.73

00:52:29.960 liberal mechanisms to try to get out of that problem. They're the same mechanisms that

00:52:35.380 authorize LGBTQ issues in direct violation of Scripture. And so I'll just tell you, you look 0.86

00:52:40.940 historically at the denominations that have moved to affirm the ordination of women.

00:52:44.900 And I overwhelmingly, they're the dominations that one generation later approves the LGBTQ

00:52:51.540 agenda and the rainbow flags out front.

00:52:53.860 And it is because the pattern of biblical interpretation of getting around the text

00:52:58.200 in order to meet a cultural end, that is a parallel process.

00:53:02.800 And I know it infuriates some people for me to say that, but I'm sorry, we've got decades

00:53:07.960 of experience to know that that's exactly what has happened.

00:53:10.820 And I think there are some people who just don't like saying no. And so I'm just being blunt here.

00:53:17.360 They just don't like saying no. But I think we need to recognize the scripture often just says

00:53:24.400 no. Even in the Ten Commandments, you shall and you shall not. Obedience includes the shall nots

00:53:31.480 as well as the thou shalls. Yeah. Gosh, that's absolutely true. And it all comes down also

00:53:37.780 to how we read scripture. Do you read scripture thinking, what can I get away with? How can I

00:53:43.160 finagle this in a way that is going to allow me to ultimately do what I want to do? You could do

00:53:48.600 that for a very long time and find all kinds of seeming permission slips if your goal in life is

00:53:55.400 just to follow what you want to follow. If that's the case, then Christianity isn't for you. It's

00:54:00.840 not for any of us who want to do that. But if we read scripture, which it's a process,

00:54:05.860 sanctification is a process of reading scripture like this as much as we possibly can, but asking

00:54:10.740 the question, how can I glorify God the most? How can I do the holiest thing? Not just what is God

00:54:16.120 telling me not to do, but what is God telling me to do? Then that actually, you know, some people

00:54:21.120 see that as restrictive. It's actually the most freeing thing that you can do. And I think it's

00:54:24.920 the best and the safest way to regard scripture. Otherwise we play a game of trying to figure out

00:54:31.260 how we can sin but make excuses for it.

00:54:34.500 No, Allie, Beth, I think that's exactly right, and I appreciate the very gracious but clear

00:54:40.640 way you set that out.

00:54:42.300 Let me also just say, you know, this past Lord's Day was at our church, Third Avenue

00:54:48.040 Baptist Church in Louisville, Kentucky, sitting with my wife in worship and with this wonderful

00:54:52.620 congregation, and we're looking around, and what we see is a recapitulation of creation

00:54:56.680 order, and it is ordered by Scripture, ordered by gospel.

00:54:59.880 You know, the building is full, and by the way, of overwhelmingly young adults, and of

00:55:07.500 husbands and wives and mothers and fathers, and they're just all gathered together.

00:55:11.160 And I just want to say, holding fast to biblical authority and to the biblical pattern actually

00:55:16.740 produces enormous health.

00:55:18.760 Why in the world would evangelicals want to follow the way of mainline liberal Protestantism,

00:55:23.880 which has been nothing more than the dust of death and disaster? 0.78

00:55:26.580 I just want to say, unless we say no to that future, then we're not saying no to it. I mean,

00:55:35.260 that's the problem. I think what you're pointing to is there's some people who don't want to take

00:55:40.160 responsibility for saying yes, but they will not take the responsibility to say no. And I think

00:55:45.860 the vast majority of Southern Baptists need to understand right now, we need to say yes to all

00:55:50.480 that Scripture affirms and no to all that Scripture restricts, and then go on with Christ's business.

00:55:57.340 Amen. Amen. Dr. Muller, thank you so much. Thank you just for your clarity and for your courage

00:56:02.480 for being an example in clear, articulate, and brave communication for so long. I'm just so

00:56:08.960 thankful for you and your leadership and continue to pray for you. And I'm just very, very grateful

00:56:14.840 for the impact that the Lord has through you. Allie Best, so kindly said, and I'm so thankful

00:56:20.220 for you and God bless you and your family. Thank you. You too.

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00:57:18.740 for $50 off. That's good ranchers.com code Allie. All right, y'all let's do some lifestyle

00:57:38.560 pitter patter. You might've seen my video that I posted on Instagram. I was at the gym and looking

00:57:45.880 and feeling very pregnant. Now I'm only a little over halfway, but this is my fourth pregnancy.

00:57:51.280 And you know that the more pregnancies you have, the more you pop sooner, the sooner you pop,

00:57:58.620 I should say. And you just, your belly just looked bigger than it did when you had your

00:58:04.240 first pregnancy. And so you're like, I'm sitting there thinking, do all of these people think that

00:58:09.280 I look 30 weeks pregnant? Oh my gosh, I look so much bigger than I should. I haven't worked out

00:58:13.680 as much as I should. I'm like beating myself up for that, not eating as healthy as I should.

00:58:19.040 And all I said, this was going to be different. All of these things swirling around in my head.

00:58:23.400 Okay. Feeling very self-conscious insecure, my own issues. Now, some of it is valid because when

00:58:30.200 you are pregnant, there is a segment of the population that abandons all filters. Okay.

00:58:35.880 And you know how toddlers, when you pass by a person like in a wheelchair or a person with

00:58:41.940 disability, say a person doesn't have an arm or doesn't have a leg, and they'll just stare at that

00:58:46.040 person. And you're like, oh my gosh, my child is just like gawking at this person. I'm trying not

00:58:53.340 to make a scene, but how do I say? Yeah. It's the same way when you're pregnant for a certain

00:58:58.860 segment of the population. It is stunning to them. It's like they've never seen this species before 0.99

00:59:04.300 and they will say things to you. They'll just make comments. And sometimes it's well-intentioned.

00:59:09.400 other times just like, did that really just come out of your mouth? Most of you pregnant women, 1.00

00:59:14.840 if you've been pregnant before, have probably experienced something like that. And so at this

00:59:19.500 point I started to like anticipate things that people could be saying. And as I'm about to leave

00:59:25.100 the gym yesterday, this sweet lady doing a wall sit stops me as she looks at my belly and she 1.00

00:59:32.520 looks me in the eye and goes, you look so pretty. Pretty? Pretty? That is literally the last thing 1.00

00:59:42.280 I was thinking about myself. The last thought I had about myself in my head was that I looked

00:59:47.580 pretty in that moment of all the adjectives to describe me in the gym, no makeup on, with my

00:59:53.260 hat on, feeling about 35 weeks pregnant, even though I am not even close to that. And this lady

00:59:58.980 tells me I look pretty. And so that is my, that's my encouragement to myself, but also to all of you

01:00:05.520 out there. Not all of you, only women. This is only for women. If you are a man, please don't

01:00:09.820 take this advice unless you are talking to your wife. But if you are a woman and you see a pregnant 0.99

01:00:14.500 woman out there, especially a woman who is in the third trimester past where I am, but she's 1.00

01:00:18.720 waddling through the grocery store. She's huff puffing in the gym. I want you to stop her. And 1.00

01:00:23.540 I want you to tell her you look so pretty. The oxytocin will probably fill her body in that

01:00:29.260 moment and she will just go into labor because she will be so happy to hear the last thing she 0.86

01:00:34.480 was thinking about herself. And there are some things that I just want to help you out. Maybe

01:00:39.020 some of you older related bros out there who might feel tempted sometimes to say things to

01:00:46.460 pregnant women. I just want to, it's not just, it's not just men at all. I have been told crazy

01:00:51.540 things by people, some like public figures backstage at speaking events who have said

01:00:56.560 things. I'm like, I won't, I won't embarrass those people, but people say crazy things.

01:01:01.100 So let me just give you some examples of things that you should not say. And then things that

01:01:05.780 you absolutely should say to pregnant women. Okay. And this is not a pregnant women are so 0.96

01:01:10.740 sensitive and you need to be, you know, extra, just like gentle with them, but you probably 1.00

01:01:16.840 should. And we are like a little bit sensitive and that's okay. But also this is just basic

01:01:22.120 manners. Okay. So here's some things to never, never say, never say, never ask if there's more

01:01:29.060 than one in there. Don't do that. Don't say, are you sure there's just one? Have you asked the

01:01:34.300 doctor? And you know what, Janet, you can come with me to an exonogram appointment. If you're

01:01:39.660 curious about that, people used to say that with my first, I always get large and in charge when

01:01:44.300 I'm pregnant. Okay. So y'all can just anticipate that if this is your first time being around

01:01:48.620 pregnant Allie, um, you there's got it, or you've got to be almost there. That's another one 0.98

01:01:55.300 because you might say that and she's like 28, 28 weeks pregnant. Okay. She's not almost there. 1.00

01:02:00.620 Don't even say it. Don't say it. Um, you've really grown since I saw you last. No, that's something

01:02:07.640 that you could say to your five-year-old nephew. It's not something that you say to a pregnant 0.99

01:02:12.040 woman. Okay. Um, and you, this next one, I wouldn't say unless you're close to this person.

01:02:18.600 Okay. And you talk to them regularly. Don't say this to the stranger at the grocery store.

01:02:22.520 You hanging in there. Cause she might be like, wow, I took a shower and brush my hair this

01:02:27.420 morning. I put on a little makeup. I thought I was looking great. And this person just told me

01:02:31.420 I look exhausted. Another one. Don't tell someone they look exhausted. That's just general,

01:02:36.720 but don't tell a pregnant woman you must be exhausted you must be so tired I personally

01:02:42.360 just would not express unless you know them intense sympathy for that person okay because

01:02:49.280 that just makes them feel bad about themselves and more tired than they already are don't tell

01:02:53.660 them they look tired you know before I announced I was giving getting very obvious that I was

01:02:59.720 pregnant okay because I was like 20 weeks when I announced and I posted a video from a speaking

01:03:06.380 engagement and which was very obvious that I was pregnant. And I wasn't worried about people

01:03:10.360 knowing I was pregnant. I knew that we were about to announce in a couple of days and that was fine.

01:03:14.240 But the things people said to me, I'm talking people who are fans of relatable message me,

01:03:19.100 you should fire your stylist. If you're not pregnant, um, you're either pregnant or that 0.98

01:03:25.820 dress should never be worn again. You should throw that dress away. Basically saying, 1.00

01:03:30.060 if you you're not pregnant you look really fat in that dress now tell me sweet ladies why you 0.98

01:03:38.060 would ever utter that to a human being if you cannot picture yourself coming up to me in person 0.79

01:03:43.980 and saying that you shouldn't say it you shouldn't say it i want you to think about okay if i saw

01:03:49.340 ally in public would i say this to her face and would she have a positive reaction or not just me

01:03:55.320 to anyone. If you would not go up to someone and say that in church, Hey, if you're not pregnant,

01:04:00.340 you should fire your stylist. Then don't say it online. Come on. This is like basic social

01:04:06.480 interaction. Okay. So just don't say things like that. Um, don't ask someone in, unless you really,

01:04:13.560 really know it is like abundantly obvious. And you know, the person, if they're pregnant, 0.99

01:04:19.180 Phil Robertson used to tell this really funny story, uh, about how he asked a woman at some

01:04:24.700 like family engagement when she's due or if she was expecting and she was not expecting. So now

01:04:31.840 I think the first time I met him, I was literally like eight or nine months pregnant. He didn't say

01:04:35.820 a word. He did not say a word about it because he was like, I learned my lesson. You just never

01:04:41.240 know. I was feeling good about myself at one point postpartum. I went to an exercise class

01:04:48.300 and I was not at all overweight in any way. This was after this was after my third,

01:04:53.400 but I do have some diastasis recti. And so, you know, the stomach kind of curves out a little

01:04:58.600 bit because of that. And the instructor afterwards, like, I was feeling good. I was feeling pretty

01:05:03.580 strong. I was feeling like, yeah, I'm back working out. The instructor afterwards was like,

01:05:07.660 oh my goodness, congratulations. How far along are you? And I mean, the color drained from her

01:05:14.600 face when I was like, not pregnant, not pregnant. She tried to save it, but you really can't save

01:05:20.800 it after that. Can you, you really can't. So I would just not do that. Now I feel pretty comfortable

01:05:27.640 as a woman and as a mom myself, if a mom, like if I'm in an interaction with her and I don't know

01:05:34.200 her and she is very, very pregnant and I can tell it is pregnancy to say like, Oh my goodness,

01:05:40.860 what are you doing? That's so exciting. But I, you really have to like test it out. It has to

01:05:45.920 be the proper circumstance. It's always an option to say nothing. There's nothing wrong with saying

01:05:51.220 nothing. I just want to say that. But if you were going to say something, this is what I would,

01:05:57.020 these are the options that I would say. I wrote some things down. You look so pretty. That woman,

01:06:02.660 she will have a place in my heart forever. My husband tells me I look beautiful every single

01:06:07.740 day, multiple times a day, which obviously means a lot to me, but everyone knows that a compliment

01:06:11.140 from a stranger at the gym, you're like, whoa, that that's really going to speak to me forever.

01:06:16.880 It's going to carry me through the rest of this pregnancy. Another thing you could say to someone,

01:06:21.060 especially if she's got a lot of kids running around with her and she's pregnant, you are so

01:06:24.800 blessed. Um, I am thrilled for you. You are glowing. How wonderful. Your baby is so blessed

01:06:32.620 to have you as a mom. You look so peaceful. All of this is better than saying, whew, you're almost

01:06:40.620 there, you got this, or you have your hands full. That's not always wrong to say, but sometimes

01:06:48.100 it's interpreted as like, why did you have this many kids? Um, all of these positive things are

01:06:53.700 better than gawking at them. You can say what incredible blessings you're an awesome mom. Um,

01:07:00.060 if you clearly see, like I've done this in an airport before, if I'm traveling by myself,

01:07:05.000 if you see that a mom is really struggling, um, she's got her, she's got all of her luggage.

01:07:10.280 she's trying to open doors, just open the door for her, grab something for her and say,

01:07:14.600 you're doing a great job. You're doing a great job. Not, oh my goodness, are you okay? Because

01:07:20.580 then they're like, oh my gosh, do I look stressed? Do I look exhausted? She's like,

01:07:24.340 you're doing a great job and open the door for her. Okay. It's always an option to do or say

01:07:29.000 nothing. But if you feel the urge to say something to a mom or to a pregnant woman,

01:07:33.940 these are some good things to say. I don't know why our filters go away when we see pregnant 0.92

01:07:39.460 women, even me, sometimes I'll see a pregnant woman and I just feel the urge to be like,

01:07:44.000 how far along are you? Oh my goodness. You look tired. I don't know why. I don't know why we 0.87

01:07:50.260 shouldn't, we shouldn't just only say positive things. Okay. Thank you to the woman who told me

01:07:54.660 that I look pretty in the gym. That was so sweet. Um, all right. That's my advice for you today.

01:08:00.500 Go tell a pregnant woman that she's pretty. I'll see you on Friday. 1.00

01:08:09.460 We'll be right back.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - June 24, 2026

Ep 1364 ｜ War on Dads, Is Podcasting Preaching？ & the Worst Pregnancy Comments

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