Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 222 ｜ How Do I Tell Someone They’re Wrong？

00:00:00.000 Hey guys, welcome to Relatable.

00:00:01.660 Happy Monday.

00:00:02.420 Hope everyone had a wonderful weekend.

00:00:04.480 So as promised, I am going to answer some of the questions that you guys have sent me.

00:00:09.040 And this is going to be a fun episode because you guys sent me a lot of good questions.

00:00:12.940 I can't possibly get to all of them.

00:00:14.520 So I asked this on Instagram and I get a lot of you sending me the questions in a little

00:00:20.520 question box and there are literally thousands of them.

00:00:23.100 So I can't get to all of them or else this would be like a week long podcast, but I will

00:00:27.640 try to get to as many as I possibly can and make sure that all the answers that I give

00:00:32.260 are relevant to you, whether you actually ask the question or not.

00:00:35.580 So this is going to be a fun and substantive podcast episode.

00:00:39.080 Okay.

00:00:39.660 Some questions, some of them just make me laugh.

00:00:43.080 And some of them are, um, some of them are very profound.

00:00:47.540 Some of them are too complicated for the time that we have today, but a lot of you ask really

00:00:53.100 good questions and this is a really good question.

00:00:55.000 How do you tell someone you don't agree with their theology?

00:00:59.100 And then she goes on to say that this person believes in the prosperity gospel.

00:01:03.060 So we did an episode on the prosperity gospel, uh, titled plans to prosper.

00:01:08.440 So a lot of you ask me, Hey, have you talked about this?

00:01:11.640 So typically you can just Google like prosperity gospel, Allie Stuckey relatable, or whatever

00:01:17.460 subjects you want to hear me talk on, and it will pop up.

00:01:20.020 It should, but this particular, I need to, I will come up.

00:01:23.560 So I'm getting a new website and I'm going to be able to categorize the podcast episodes

00:01:29.800 I have by particular topics.

00:01:31.760 And I'll make sure that we can do that on YouTube too.

00:01:34.780 Uh, because a lot of you guys ask me, Hey, have you talked about this?

00:01:37.520 And we have, uh, another complaint that I've gotten.

00:01:40.100 I know I'm not answering this question right away.

00:01:41.620 Another complaint that I've gotten is that it's sometimes hard.

00:01:44.360 Like if you want to hear me talk about capital punishment, for example, and I happen to talk

00:01:48.420 about that at an end of a podcast talking about feminism, for example, the title doesn't show, 0.99

00:01:54.080 doesn't demonstrate or reflect that I talked about, uh, capital punishment at the end of

00:01:58.600 it.

00:01:58.740 So it can be harder for you to find it.

00:02:00.740 It's harder for me to even remember, but I can't necessarily change that because the

00:02:06.320 title isn't going to include every single thing that I talked about the description typically

00:02:11.260 well.

00:02:11.600 So sometimes you can Google it, but I understand that's hard to find.

00:02:15.240 I will try to start tagging those things better, categorizing the episodes better.

00:02:19.760 So you can easily navigate and say, Hey, has Allie talked about this?

00:02:23.900 And you'll be able to find an episode.

00:02:26.040 So all of that to say, I did an episode on the prosperity gospel titled plans to prosper.

00:02:31.840 If you listen to this on Apple or even on Spotify, you can type in plans to prosper question

00:02:37.360 mark, relatable Allie Stuckey, and it will, uh, it will pop up.

00:02:41.100 So this particular person is asking me, how do you tell someone that you don't agree with

00:02:45.760 their theology?

00:02:46.920 This person that she is talking about believes in the prosperity gospel, prosperity gospel,

00:02:51.980 meaning you can name it and claim it.

00:02:53.500 You can say, you know, by faith, I believe that God is going to give me this promotion.

00:02:57.880 I claim that promotion.

00:02:58.960 I'm manifesting that promotion.

00:03:00.520 That is not biblical at all.

00:03:03.000 That is not Christianity. 1.00

00:03:04.760 That is some form of weird new age manifestation, self-empowerment gospel that doesn't align with

00:03:13.120 scripture.

00:03:13.580 Anytime we are asked to ask God of something, which we are told to ask God and God commands

00:03:20.040 us to pray.

00:03:20.960 And we hear that the prayer of a righteous person has great power.

00:03:24.140 God listens to our prayers.

00:03:25.900 And when he chooses, he responds to our prayers.

00:03:28.180 He always responds as he sees fit.

00:03:30.360 Um, for example, like there's another example of this, like delight yourself in the Lord

00:03:35.260 and he will give you the desires of your heart.

00:03:36.900 The precursor to that, the understanding to all of those commands, to all of those promises

00:03:44.040 is that, uh, we are praying according to God's will and that God being sovereign is always

00:03:51.120 going to do his will no matter what.

00:03:53.420 Like we can't push him off his throne.

00:03:55.340 We can't manipulate him.

00:03:56.600 We can't bargain with him.

00:03:58.240 We can't manifest something enough or believe something enough to change what God has planned

00:04:05.220 to do.

00:04:05.700 Now we pray because God commands us to pray and graciously he has ordained prayer to be

00:04:13.380 a vessel by which he moves.

00:04:15.260 That is why we pray.

00:04:16.340 If you've got a question about why do we pray if God is sovereign, will God in his sovereignty

00:04:20.180 ordained prayer to be a means by which we communicate with him and ask for things and a means by which

00:04:25.640 he actually, uh, accomplishes things.

00:04:27.900 And that is awesome.

00:04:29.220 That's awesome for us.

00:04:30.420 That's awesome for our relationship with God, but that does not mean as the prosperity

00:04:34.560 gospel says that we can just say, Hey, I believe I'm giving this promotion.

00:04:39.160 I believe this is going to happen.

00:04:40.460 And that somehow moves the needle and makes God more likely to change his mind.

00:04:46.880 That again, that's a me-centered theology in which you are earning things.

00:04:53.240 You are, you really have the power and you are the one who is in control rather than the

00:04:59.540 God of the universe.

00:05:00.600 And that is just not biblically correct, but people like to believe in prosperity gospel

00:05:05.820 because we like control.

00:05:07.220 We like to be our own gods.

00:05:09.140 We like to believe that God is just like this genie in a bottle.

00:05:12.340 And then if we rub it the right way that he will come out and grant us our three wishes.

00:05:16.480 We like to think that he's just along for the ride.

00:05:19.140 Like we like to think that he's just the fulfiller of our dreams to help us reach our goals that

00:05:24.140 he is just here to tell us that we're awesome and to cheerlead and to make sure that we get

00:05:27.980 the things that we want, but that is not who God is.

00:05:31.160 Uh, we don't see that kind of God throughout the Bible.

00:05:33.840 We do see a God that blesses people, even blesses people monetarily, blesses people materially,

00:05:39.740 blesses people with health and wealth and health and wealth and long life, but he doesn't

00:05:45.140 guarantee those things.

00:05:46.260 And actually he guarantees for Christians persecution. 0.97

00:05:49.340 He guarantees for Christians hardship, uh, tribulation, even sorrow and sadness, even though 1.00

00:05:54.840 there is a surpassing joy through all of those things.

00:05:58.200 And there is a, a spirit, uh, a spirit fueled perseverance through all of those things.

00:06:03.640 We are actually promised trials and tribulations.

00:06:06.340 We are not promised an easy life.

00:06:08.380 We are promised God's presence.

00:06:10.760 We are promised that Jesus will be with us.

00:06:12.560 We're promised, uh, the presence and the guarantee of our inheritance.

00:06:15.640 The Holy spirit is what the Bible says, uh, but we are not guaranteed an easy life.

00:06:20.480 That's not, we follow why we follow Jesus.

00:06:22.660 We don't follow Jesus for his stuff.

00:06:24.300 We follow Jesus because he is Lord.

00:06:26.640 Like we follow Jesus because the love of Christ compels us to follow Jesus.

00:06:31.000 Uh, we love because he first loved us while we were still sinners.

00:06:34.820 Christ died for us.

00:06:36.040 We follow him because, uh, his love, his sacrifice compels us to do so because he is worthy of

00:06:42.000 our following, uh, no matter what we get or what we don't get.

00:06:45.840 What is so important to remember when people tell you, um, the, the benefits of the prosperity

00:06:51.500 gospel, that even if we had nothing in this life, even if we had no monetary blessing,

00:06:56.340 no material blessing, uh, we were all alone.

00:07:00.520 We didn't have a house.

00:07:02.220 We didn't have any kind of, uh, material blessing to speak of what God did through Christ on the

00:07:09.660 cross is enough.

00:07:11.700 It's enough for us to declare him good.

00:07:13.940 It's enough for us to praise him.

00:07:15.440 It's enough for us to follow him.

00:07:17.300 Like in that act by sending his only son to die for us, that we might be reconciled to

00:07:22.900 him and have eternal life with him.

00:07:25.680 That alone is far more than we ever deserved, far more than we ever deserved.

00:07:30.320 And that alone is reason to praise him.

00:07:32.660 We praise him for other gifts too.

00:07:34.260 We thank him for other gifts.

00:07:35.320 I don't think it's bad to even pray, uh, for certain things in a, in accordance to his

00:07:42.060 will.

00:07:42.300 Now, I do think that if your prayers are filled with a personal promotion and a personal

00:07:48.740 accumulation of wealth, that there is probably a posturing there in your heart that needs

00:07:54.300 to be checked and that you need to, you know, be in the word and pray for wisdom and pray

00:08:00.080 for the, the power and the ability and God's mercy to be able to repent from that.

00:08:04.560 And to make sure that all of us, whether you say that you ascribe to the prosperity gospel

00:08:08.980 or not, to make sure that all of us are following God for who he is, because he is worth that

00:08:13.460 following and not for the things that we think that we deserve, uh, the gifts that we think

00:08:19.100 that we deserve and the stuff that he can give us.

00:08:21.160 God is not a genie.

00:08:22.380 The Bible says that God will not be mocked.

00:08:24.940 He desires a right worship.

00:08:27.140 He desires a contrite heart.

00:08:29.340 Uh, he desires our humility.

00:08:31.840 He desires our following and he does not, uh, he does not promise health and wealth, name

00:08:38.680 it and claim it type things that the prosperity gospel says, uh, says that he promises.

00:08:44.120 So for this person who asked me, how do you tell someone who, uh, that you don't agree

00:08:50.100 with their theology, specifically the prosperity gospel?

00:08:53.100 I think that you just say a lot of what I just said, that you stand on the truth of God's

00:08:59.260 word without apologizing and that you always, you are going to be, uh, in a safe place.

00:09:06.040 Like you are going to be in good territory when your theology is centered on the glory

00:09:12.260 of God and not on your deservedness.

00:09:15.820 When your theology is centered on how God can most be glorified rather than how you can most

00:09:21.680 be glorified, like you are going to be heading in the right direction, no matter what theological

00:09:26.820 issue that we're talking about.

00:09:28.360 And so as you think through this, uh, how your theology most glorifies God, I think that

00:09:34.780 you'll be able to learn how to have a conversation with your friend.

00:09:38.620 I don't know who your friend is and I don't know how she communicates and like what the

00:09:43.060 best context is for you to have this conversation, but stand on the truth, stand on God's glory.

00:09:49.160 Don't apologize for those things.

00:09:50.880 Don't apologize for the truth.

00:09:52.200 The Bible says what it says.

00:09:53.780 Don't apologize for the Bible. 0.95

00:09:55.440 Don't apologize for the gospel.

00:09:56.840 Don't apologize for the things that Jesus says.

00:09:59.460 Yes, we should speak the truth in love.

00:10:00.980 That means we speak the truth in gentleness.

00:10:03.140 Uh, that means that there are, uh, certain ways and maybe a certain context in which we

00:10:08.500 say certain things that are true about the Bible.

00:10:11.080 But if you want to have a heart to heart with your friend and just lay it all out there so

00:10:14.800 that you can say, you know, uh, I, I did everything I can and only the Holy Spirit can change

00:10:21.360 hearts, only God can plant the seed and give growth to the faith in her heart.

00:10:26.460 That's all you can do.

00:10:27.420 All you can do is be a faithful steward of the truth, not be apologetic for it, not make

00:10:31.220 caveats, not make concessions.

00:10:33.220 And I think that's, that's what you do.

00:10:35.400 You love her.

00:10:36.300 That is why you are telling her the truth.

00:10:38.140 That is the only reason you're telling her the truth.

00:10:40.200 Because if you didn't love her, then you wouldn't.

00:10:41.920 Um, so great question.

00:10:43.900 And I love the desire for, I pray that all of us have that same desire to speak the truth

00:10:48.620 in love to the people around us.

00:10:50.580 Another question I got, is it okay to prep slash store food for times like this coronavirus?

00:10:56.660 Of course, I think so.

00:10:57.760 If you read, uh, Proverbs 31, the Proverbs 31 woman and, uh, who she was and what she 0.99

00:11:03.720 did on a day-to-day basis, one of the verses says that she laughs at the time to come.

00:11:07.860 Why does she laugh at the time to come? 0.98

00:11:09.140 Because she is prepared.

00:11:10.140 That doesn't mean that trouble won't come.

00:11:11.400 Doesn't mean that we won't get sick.

00:11:12.760 That doesn't mean bad things won't happen.

00:11:14.200 But I think that we should use whatever resources we can to protect ourselves, to protect our

00:11:19.220 families and to protect our homes.

00:11:21.340 Understanding that God is still on his throne, that God is still sovereign, that his will

00:11:25.400 is going to be done, whether we are completely protected from the sickness or not.

00:11:31.100 And so we understand that we're not ultimately in control.

00:11:34.260 And the best thing that we can do is pray.

00:11:36.620 We still should go about our day-to-day lives in being obedient to him and thanking him

00:11:42.100 for all the good things that he has done and thanking him for whatever provision he has

00:11:45.760 allowed your family to have.

00:11:47.080 But I absolutely, we went to the grocery store and made sure that we had frozen food

00:11:51.460 and canned food and an extra water and things like that.

00:11:54.480 I don't think there's anything wrong with that at all.

00:11:56.420 I have to remember as a natural worrier, as someone who likes to be in control, that I

00:12:02.780 don't have ultimate control and that there is only so much that I can do.

00:12:07.500 Like I want to guarantee that I can protect my family.

00:12:10.620 And I just, I don't have that guarantee.

00:12:12.620 And I have to be okay with that, that I serve a sovereign God who is good, who is on her

00:12:17.420 throne, what?

00:12:18.740 I almost said her, who is on his throne and knows what's best and is foresaw this and

00:12:28.680 is not surprised by this, is not thrown off by this.

00:12:31.240 By the way, we also did an episode on the idea that God is a woman and how ridiculous 0.99

00:12:35.820 and stupid that is and why God is, why he is depicted as father, as king and Jesus is 0.85

00:12:43.020 prince of peace and Lord of lords and all of those masculine sounding names.

00:12:47.460 So you can go back and listen to that.

00:12:49.280 I forget what it's called.

00:12:50.700 God is a woman question mark, maybe, but you can go back and listen to that. 1.00

00:12:53.800 So anyway, no, I don't think that it's wrong to prep or store food for this time.

00:13:00.980 I just, I don't think that's bad at all.

00:13:03.740 So someone said the let dairy die movement and why are they cray cray?

00:13:07.860 Well, let dairy die movement. 1.00

00:13:09.080 It's just a vegan movement.

00:13:10.340 I've talked about veganism before.

00:13:11.940 I think you can totally be a vegan and be a Christian.

00:13:14.820 I don't, I don't think there's anything wrong with being a vegan.

00:13:17.600 The difference between just being a vegan and being these let dairy die people.

00:13:22.580 So the let dairy die people, they, uh, tried to, uh, they tried to interrupt a Bernie Sanders

00:13:29.080 rally a few weeks ago after Joe Biden had a good night on super Tuesday last week.

00:13:34.680 They, uh, they tried to go across stage with their signs.

00:13:39.640 I mean, they just look crazy.

00:13:41.380 This is a huge disservice.

00:13:43.260 If you are trying to build some kind of movement that says, you know, we need to stop eating,

00:13:48.340 we need to stop eating dairy or stop eating meat or whatever, because we care about the

00:13:51.820 animals because some people believe that the dairy industry is corrupt.

00:13:54.940 And I'm sure there are some dairy manufacturers that do really bad things, but that's not true

00:13:59.940 of all dairy farms.

00:14:01.460 But I guess if you believe that killing animals for food period is bad thing, you probably think

00:14:05.940 all dairy farms are bad, but, uh, this just does a huge disservice to that.

00:14:10.260 Like, I think that people can be vegan and that's totally fine.

00:14:13.600 Whether it's for health reasons, whether it's for compassion for animals, you just, whatever

00:14:19.420 it is for the environment.

00:14:21.580 That's fine.

00:14:22.400 It's when it becomes militant, not just like this, but people who say that you can't be

00:14:26.980 pro-life and not be vegan, that you can't be a good person, that it's hypocritical of

00:14:33.540 you to say that you're a Christian or pro-life or whatever and not be a vegan.

00:14:38.180 That's crazy.

00:14:38.860 Like we've talked about this before.

00:14:41.080 If you're a Christian from a biblical perspective, human beings are unique.

00:14:45.220 We are uniquely made in the image of God.

00:14:47.160 We uniquely have souls.

00:14:48.400 We uniquely live forever.

00:14:49.940 We uniquely are in need of a savior, in need of salvation.

00:14:53.640 We are uniquely involved in God's amazing redemption plan in a way that animals, that

00:14:59.380 plants are not.

00:15:01.260 And so human beings, because of that, because we're made in the image of God, we have a precedence.

00:15:07.420 We have a far more, an inexplicably higher significance than any other species does.

00:15:17.720 That's just the way it is from a Christian perspective, from a biblical perspective.

00:15:21.540 Our significance as human beings is not based on capacity.

00:15:24.840 It's not based on ability.

00:15:26.160 It's not based on age.

00:15:27.540 It's not based on size.

00:15:28.820 It's not based on contribution to society.

00:15:31.520 It is innate by nature of having human DNA.

00:15:34.700 That is part of why we are pro-life from the womb to the tomb.

00:15:39.480 Now, I could get into a whole other conversation about capital punishment, which I have always,

00:15:44.080 I've also talked about on this podcast before, why there is a biblical case for believing in

00:15:48.880 capital punishment.

00:15:49.560 And that does not make you a hypocrite for believing that murderous criminals should be

00:15:55.780 executed, but babies in the womb should not be executed.

00:15:59.000 But I won't get into that right this second.

00:16:00.740 Maybe I'll get into that later in the podcast, but of course, so all of that said, no, it's

00:16:06.900 not hypocritical to not be vegan, to believe that it's okay to kill any animals and to be

00:16:12.160 pro-life, to be anti-abortion because human beings are not animals.

00:16:16.020 Human beings are different than animals.

00:16:17.480 They're inherently more significant than animals.

00:16:19.480 Do I think that we should steward the world?

00:16:21.080 Steward the world?

00:16:22.700 Well, yes, we were created as stewards of creation.

00:16:26.740 We should value God's creation.

00:16:29.640 We can be compassionate.

00:16:30.800 We can try to kill animals for meat as compassionately as possible, but it is not a requirement for

00:16:38.240 you to be a moral person, for you to be a biblical Christian, for you to be pro-life, to be a vegan.

00:16:44.880 I've talked about that a few times, but I just want to reiterate.

00:16:48.400 How do we explain to someone that biblically grandparents can't watch over us from heaven?

00:16:51.960 So I don't know that necessarily biblically that people in heaven can't see us or can't

00:17:00.420 watch over us technically.

00:17:03.260 I'm not sure if there is a biblical support for saying that people who are in heaven don't

00:17:08.240 or can't do that.

00:17:08.940 I definitely want to hear it, but there is a lot of bad theology that comes out when tragedies

00:17:16.760 happen.

00:17:17.200 And it's just so sad.

00:17:18.160 I never take that opportunity right then to correct people's theology when they are

00:17:24.100 talking about their child that they lost becoming an angel or visiting them or things like that.

00:17:29.420 Like, I'm not going to take that time to say, hey, that's not true.

00:17:34.260 Maybe if they're my friend later, I will.

00:17:37.220 And I'll try to comfort them with all the truth of the gospel that I possibly can.

00:17:41.160 And I will pray for them, but I'm not going to take that opportunity to reprimand them or

00:17:45.880 chastise them the same thing if someone lost a grandparent there.

00:17:49.620 I just don't think that's the time.

00:17:51.740 I think it's hard to speak the truth in love by saying, hey, you're wrong theologically.

00:17:56.680 Here's a Bible verse.

00:17:57.700 No, your child that just died is not an angel.

00:18:00.960 I just don't think that's the time for that.

00:18:03.060 Now, it is true that we do not become angels when we die, that we don't become a guardian

00:18:08.240 angel, that we don't intercede, like the dead doesn't intercede for people who are alive.

00:18:15.860 We don't like dead people don't have like acts of power on our behalf or they don't do anything

00:18:23.980 for us.

00:18:25.240 I don't think that they I don't think it's possible for them to like leave little signs

00:18:30.020 or things like that.

00:18:30.840 This is why theology is so important.

00:18:32.740 It's not just this heady stuff.

00:18:34.120 It's also very practical that really the reality is so much better that we don't need

00:18:41.000 the dead interceding for us.

00:18:43.020 We don't need the dead to be here with us because Jesus Christ has interceded for us

00:18:46.980 and the Holy Spirit is here with us and is alive within us, all of us who are Christians.

00:18:53.220 And that's so much better than a fallible human being, you know, being in our stead or doing

00:19:00.200 things for us or leaving us signs.

00:19:01.740 Unfortunately, that is just superstition that ends up disappointing people, ends up disappointing

00:19:06.560 people and burdening people beyond how they should be burdened because they're always looking

00:19:11.580 out for signs.

00:19:12.720 They're always afraid that they're disappointing that grandparent or whoever has died or that

00:19:17.640 they haven't noticed them enough.

00:19:19.180 And it just leads to all of these superstitious thoughts and superstitious behaviors that I think

00:19:23.940 ends up in fear and insecurity rather than in comfort and in strength.

00:19:28.880 But the reality is, is that we have an ever living God who as Christians is here with

00:19:34.340 us, who heals our broken heart, who binds our wounds.

00:19:38.400 The people who have died, who have gone to heaven, they can't do that for us, but our living

00:19:44.080 God can do that.

00:19:45.880 We have a Savior, the Bible says, that sympathizes with our weaknesses, who in every way has been

00:19:51.140 tempted as we have and yet is without sin.

00:19:53.980 That is the Jesus that we have.

00:19:55.360 That's the Jesus who intercedes for us.

00:19:57.580 We have a Holy Spirit.

00:19:59.040 Jesus says that he is our helper, that he is with us, that he comforts us, that he reveals

00:20:05.360 to us truth that is found in God's word, that he gives us wisdom.

00:20:09.640 So we have something so much better than the idea of our grandparents that we love becoming

00:20:15.760 our guardian angels.

00:20:16.820 I don't know whether they can see us.

00:20:19.940 I'm just not sure about that, but this idea of the dead becoming these agents in our life

00:20:25.560 is superstitious and not based on the Bible.

00:20:28.100 And like I said, ends up leading more to hurt than to comfort.

00:20:33.440 And we have a God of comfort already.

00:20:35.640 Like we have a God of peace already who is infinite and who is so much better than any

00:20:39.980 of our kind of superstitious ideas that we can contrive can.

00:20:46.520 Someone else asks, are you Baptist or Presbyterian?

00:20:50.540 I am Baptist.

00:20:51.700 I was raised Baptist.

00:20:53.060 I did go to a Presbyterian church for a little bit in college and I really liked it.

00:20:57.140 Pastor was great.

00:20:58.140 And there's a little bit more formality, a little bit more ritual and routine at Presbyterian

00:21:02.840 churches.

00:21:03.160 They obviously are pedo-baptists and for the most part, they believe in infant baptism.

00:21:08.760 I don't believe in infant baptism.

00:21:10.880 I believe in believer's baptism.

00:21:13.580 There is the idea in pedo-baptism that it is like the new covenant in the way that the

00:21:18.420 Old Testament, the old covenant was circumcision that set Israel apart. 0.72

00:21:24.160 It was a lot of pedo-baptists believe that that means infant baptism advocates.

00:21:29.960 They believe that the new covenant is represented by infant baptism.

00:21:35.620 I just don't see that represented in the New Testament.

00:21:39.420 Belief always precedes baptism in the New Testament.

00:21:44.320 Now, there are instances, for example, of the centurion who believed and he was baptized

00:21:50.140 in his entire household.

00:21:52.100 But again, that doesn't say that his entire household didn't believe.

00:21:56.300 I think that's a secondary issue.

00:21:58.280 There are a lot of people that I love, that I respect, that I follow, that are theologically

00:22:03.340 solid, that I learn so much from, that know so much more than I do, that are pedo-baptists,

00:22:07.780 that are great.

00:22:08.840 Like, we can get along on that.

00:22:09.960 That's not a salvation issue.

00:22:11.440 That's just a theological disagreement.

00:22:13.880 And I'm happy.

00:22:14.820 I've actually talked to some of you about that disagreement before, and I'm happy to talk

00:22:18.600 about it some more.

00:22:20.280 Is it okay for a woman to be a pastor? 1.00

00:22:23.960 No.

00:22:24.500 I've talked about this as well.

00:22:26.580 Women in the Church is what it's titled. 0.77

00:22:28.500 It's on YouTube.

00:22:29.220 It's anywhere you get your podcasts.

00:22:31.080 And so I will let you just listen to that.

00:22:34.100 And you can let me know what you think.

00:22:37.920 So two questions right in a row on Harry Potter.

00:22:40.400 So I did not grow up reading Harry Potter.

00:22:42.620 I wasn't allowed to read Harry Potter.

00:22:44.000 I had friends who read Harry Potter, but my parents didn't let me.

00:22:48.700 My husband did and loved Harry Potter.

00:22:50.940 But now recently, he's kind of like not as, he used to defend it a lot.

00:22:56.940 Like whenever I would say Chronicles of Narnia are so much better than Harry Potter, which

00:23:00.480 they just are, even though I've never actually read Harry Potter.

00:23:03.480 I've seen some of the movies.

00:23:05.060 And Narnia, Lord of the Rings, all way better.

00:23:08.640 Um, now I just, so I don't know enough about Harry Potter to be able to like give you a

00:23:15.000 good theological answer.

00:23:15.960 I know there's magic involved, but I wouldn't say that would be the sole reason, maybe because

00:23:22.320 it's witchcraft that people see, but there's witchcraft technically like in the Chronicles

00:23:28.520 of Narnia as well.

00:23:29.860 And I would highly recommend you reading the Chronicles of Narnia to your kids.

00:23:34.420 I mean, I am the biggest C.S.

00:23:35.780 Lewis stan, I think on the face of the planet.

00:23:37.940 Even though I disagree with him on some things theologically, uh, I love Chronicles of Narnia.

00:23:43.140 Like I think it's important.

00:23:44.480 I think fiction is wildly important for not just, uh, children.

00:23:49.820 I actually think it's important through no matter how old you are, but fiction is so good

00:23:55.820 for the imagination.

00:23:56.520 It's so good for creativity.

00:23:58.140 It's so good for, uh, becoming, uh, better thinkers, more critical thinkers for becoming

00:24:04.480 better writers, becoming better readers, having just a better, um, uh, a better understanding

00:24:12.040 of our worldview.

00:24:13.060 I think fiction is so vital.

00:24:14.820 And if you cut out everything that is imaginative or everything that is make-believe, well, then

00:24:20.440 you don't have anything fun to read to your kids.

00:24:23.180 Now, I'm not promoting Harry Potter at all.

00:24:25.540 Like I said, I wasn't allowed to read that growing up, but I don't think we're going to

00:24:28.480 allow our kids to either.

00:24:30.320 However, um, I don't think that we can draw the line and say everything that is make-believe

00:24:36.440 or involves a witch of any kind, like Chronicles of Narnia or Lord of the Rings.

00:24:41.420 I know they don't have a witch, but, um, should be cut out.

00:24:44.620 I, I, I don't think, I don't think I'm on board with that.

00:24:47.720 Um, difference in Protestants and Evangelicals.

00:24:52.320 So Evangelicals are Protestants. 0.72

00:24:55.100 Um, why are there so many different religions?

00:24:57.840 There always has been a lot of different religions.

00:25:01.300 Uh, keep all things trendy, narcissism coming.

00:25:04.460 Will do, will do, uh, let's see.

00:25:08.440 Most embarrassing moment of your life.

00:25:11.300 Ooh, most embarrassing moment of my life.

00:25:15.520 Well, so there was a time, this is gross.

00:25:19.520 So if you don't like gross stories, then you might just want to fast forward.

00:25:22.600 It has to do with, um, vomiting.

00:25:26.160 So if you don't want to hear that, then you should probably just fast forward.

00:25:29.260 So when I was like 15, I was on a date with someone in high school, way too young to be

00:25:35.320 dating, by the way, of course I didn't think that then.

00:25:37.720 And I would have pitched a huge fit if my parents hadn't let me go out on dates when I

00:25:42.580 was a teenager.

00:25:43.080 So I'm already trying to figure out how we're going to prevent our kids from doing that

00:25:46.940 when they're high schoolers.

00:25:48.080 My parents are laughing, listening to this, but I went on a date when I was 15.

00:25:53.180 It was like a Valentine's day.

00:25:54.340 It was probably like one of my first dates ever.

00:25:57.040 And I, we went to a restaurant and then we went back to his house, you know, his parents'

00:26:03.320 house.

00:26:03.520 We're in high school here.

00:26:04.300 And I just did not feel good at all.

00:26:07.320 And I knew I didn't feel good, but I was on a date.

00:26:10.380 So like I was 15 years old, nervous, all that stuff.

00:26:12.880 I was like, I'm going to leave.

00:26:13.940 I didn't want to ask him to go home before my curfew, which was like 1030 or something

00:26:17.340 like that.

00:26:18.160 And so I was just like, Oh, I do not feel good.

00:26:20.080 I feel like I'm going to throw up.

00:26:21.260 This is what I'm thinking in my head, but I'm not going to tell him.

00:26:23.800 So I did not tell him.

00:26:26.160 I was like, I'm going to make it home.

00:26:27.760 So we go to leave.

00:26:30.600 We go to his car and I get to his car.

00:26:34.280 I just couldn't hold it anymore.

00:26:35.880 So I turned around.

00:26:37.060 I threw up all over his parents' front porch and in their entryway and in their bathroom.

00:26:42.760 I can't believe I'm like cringing.

00:26:44.920 I might even be getting red thinking about this.

00:26:47.760 Oh my gosh.

00:26:48.940 So embarrassing.

00:26:50.640 I got over it.

00:26:51.640 We actually ended up dating for a few months, which is amazing.

00:26:54.880 Maybe says something about him.

00:26:56.300 You go, dude.

00:26:58.280 That's really nice of you.

00:26:59.780 Oh my gosh.

00:27:00.720 So disgusting.

00:27:01.580 So embarrassing.

00:27:02.360 I'm sure I've had super embarrassing moments since then too.

00:27:05.800 I can't remember, but that just sticks out in my mind.

00:27:09.080 It's one of the most embarrassing things that has ever happened to me.

00:27:13.620 It's college for everyone.

00:27:15.080 Thoughts on taking a gap year.

00:27:16.140 No, college is not for everyone.

00:27:17.400 Charlie Kirk is a great example of someone who didn't go to college and has become wildly

00:27:21.080 successful.

00:27:21.920 You don't have to go to college for everything.

00:27:23.420 And I think that's increasingly true that you don't have to, college isn't necessary

00:27:27.640 for everything that you want to do.

00:27:30.960 What is your favorite book of the Bible?

00:27:32.420 Love Genesis and love Ephesians.

00:27:36.840 Let's see.

00:27:37.880 How to be content in singleness.

00:27:42.300 That is a difficult thing to do, especially depending, you know, like on who you are.

00:27:47.060 If you are someone who really desires to be married, some people just don't.

00:27:52.060 But I would say surround yourself with good friends, surround yourself, try to surround

00:27:56.940 yourself with people who are in your same life stage.

00:27:59.620 I know it can be hard when you feel like all your friends are getting picked off, like

00:28:02.720 all of your friends are getting engaged and getting married and having babies and you

00:28:06.040 want all that, but you're not there yet.

00:28:07.620 It's totally normal to feel like you're missing out.

00:28:10.020 But the reality is, is that the Bible says that singleness is a gift and can be a gift

00:28:13.780 because you have, you don't have the distractions that married people do and, uh, that people

00:28:19.300 with kids do, and I know you might be thinking, but I want those distractions, but the Bible 0.69

00:28:23.220 says that it can be a gift to be single.

00:28:25.420 You can draw close to Christ.

00:28:26.840 And if you do get married and have kids, you will be married and have kids far longer than

00:28:30.620 you were single.

00:28:31.340 So you can take advantage of this time to build friendships, to do acts of service, to

00:28:36.020 spend time in the word, uh, and do things that you just wouldn't have the ability and

00:28:40.980 the freedom to do if you were married or if you had kids and ask God for contentment

00:28:45.960 and for peace in this time.

00:28:47.220 There are going to be days when you do feel peace.

00:28:48.780 You feel totally content.

00:28:49.820 You're like, I'm great.

00:28:50.700 And this is wonderful.

00:28:51.700 And there are going to be days when you feel anxious and you feel really sad about it.

00:28:54.780 And that's normal, but Christ is with you and he is steadfast even when we are not.

00:28:58.840 So just a couple, couple more questions.

00:29:03.320 A lot of you guys, a lot of you guys asked me about birth control and I have talked about

00:29:08.560 birth control before.

00:29:09.720 Um, and I don't remember which podcast episode, I think it was probably another Q and a, but,

00:29:17.280 uh, so I think the heart behind it is what I am most concerned with.

00:29:23.060 Now there are birth control pills and I just don't know enough about every single birth

00:29:27.600 control pill brand.

00:29:29.160 There are birth control pills that make the uterus basically inhospitable for a baby to

00:29:34.680 be able to grow.

00:29:35.540 So for an egg to attach to the uterine wall. 0.88

00:29:38.540 So it depends on if you think conception starts at fertilization when the sperm meets the egg

00:29:42.920 or implantation when the fertilized egg actually implants itself into the uterine wall.

00:29:49.360 So there are birth control pills that even if you have a fertilized egg makes the uterus 0.56

00:29:55.400 inhospitable.

00:29:56.200 So it can't implant itself into the uterine wall, but the egg is fertilized.

00:30:02.500 Same thing with an IUD.

00:30:03.980 That's what happens with it with an IUD as well.

00:30:06.540 It doesn't always prevent, uh, ovulation.

00:30:09.920 It doesn't always prevent, I don't think, I mean, correct me if I'm wrong, someone on this,

00:30:13.960 it doesn't always prevent the egg from being fertilized, but it does prevent it from actually

00:30:18.980 implanting itself into the wall.

00:30:20.360 Now there are some people that that doesn't work.

00:30:22.980 You do get pregnant on birth control.

00:30:24.780 You do get pregnant with an IUD. 0.83

00:30:26.840 And if you get pregnant with an IUD, that can be big trouble, which is another reason 0.53

00:30:30.400 why a lot of people don't like it.

00:30:32.820 But so it depends on your stance on when conception or when life actually starts.

00:30:38.460 Does it start at fertilization?

00:30:40.100 Does it start at implantation?

00:30:41.580 And that also affects your view of something like plan B as well.

00:30:45.320 Um, I think that the mentality behind things matter.

00:30:50.120 So I've heard, uh, John Piper talk about this before that there might be a period of time

00:30:56.400 in a marriage in which it may be appropriate not to have children and his reasoning, which

00:31:02.380 I generally agree with his reasoning for that is if you are doing that for the sake of ministry.

00:31:08.520 So for the focus of ministry, if there, um, is a period of time in which you need to focus

00:31:14.400 all of your energies and efforts onto a particular mission.

00:31:17.760 Now people have babies all the time in the midst of mission and it's great and it's beautiful

00:31:21.860 and it's a blessing, but that is his one time that he says, you know, that's when you,

00:31:28.760 um, you know, when there might be a biblical basis for not having kids for the reasons of travel,

00:31:36.060 for the reasons of just personal enjoyment, for the reasons of personal freedom and convenience,

00:31:41.700 those are not biblical reasons not to have kids.

00:31:44.980 Now for my husband and me, we didn't have kids for the first three years and we were

00:31:48.740 actively trying not to.

00:31:50.840 And I don't know if that was biblical or not.

00:31:54.000 Yes.

00:31:54.380 We were in a lot of transition.

00:31:55.620 Like we were moving places.

00:31:57.640 We were moving jobs.

00:31:58.880 We were financially not fully stable.

00:32:01.360 And so we just weren't in a place of really thinking about that.

00:32:04.660 And then when we became stable in our jobs and financially and all of that, we did, we

00:32:09.640 got pregnant and it was great.

00:32:11.120 Uh, I can't tell you, I can't defend necessarily that that was the right thing to do, that that

00:32:17.220 was the biblical thing to do.

00:32:18.480 And now looking back, I wonder if I had a faulty, if we had a faulty mentality of this kind of

00:32:24.040 worldly thought about kids, that kids are a burden, that kids are a hindrance, that kids

00:32:28.160 inhibit you from doing the things that you want to do.

00:32:30.580 I do not think that's a godly or a biblical mentality of kids.

00:32:34.520 I think that there can, there is flexibility and there is space for wisdom to be exercised

00:32:40.860 when it comes to certain situations in which bringing a child into it wouldn't be the most,

00:32:47.320 you know, judicious thing to do.

00:32:49.280 So sure, I'm definitely willing to have that conversation and hear about some of those

00:32:54.260 circumstances, but in general, if we are viewing kids as a burden and as a hindrance, it is

00:32:59.560 something that we just think are icky or that, oh, we're not going to be able to go to Europe

00:33:03.620 if we have a kid.

00:33:04.940 I don't see the basis for that and the support for that in the Bible.

00:33:10.100 And yes, there are other problems with birth control, uh, hormonally, just what it does

00:33:15.800 to your body.

00:33:16.520 I was on birth control for acne, uh, at one point.

00:33:19.820 And then it was like for regulation.

00:33:21.520 I don't even remember.

00:33:22.760 I wasn't using it to actually control conception when I was in high school and college, trust

00:33:27.680 me, but I was using it because a lot of people were like a lot of young women were just on 1.00

00:33:31.560 it to regulate themselves for acne, whatever it was.

00:33:34.560 And it wasn't good.

00:33:35.660 Like I never felt good.

00:33:37.160 My skin was not good when I was in college, they were constantly changing.

00:33:41.040 My hormones were up and down.

00:33:42.440 It was moody.

00:33:43.080 It was just, it wasn't good.

00:33:44.280 It's not, I don't think it's good for most women. 1.00

00:33:47.180 Now, maybe some women with PCOS, maybe it's helped you, but it just doesn't seem to be, 0.79

00:33:53.520 uh, it doesn't seem to be usually very healthy and how God, uh, intended things.

00:33:59.620 I can't go into every single form of birth control and say, this is good.

00:34:04.480 This is not in this circumstance.

00:34:05.980 This might be okay.

00:34:06.940 In this circumstance, this might be okay.

00:34:08.720 I think that in general, the heart behind birth control and why you as a married person

00:34:15.240 are not having kids, uh, is the most important thing.

00:34:18.860 Oh goodness.

00:34:19.760 There are so many, so many good questions to have.

00:34:23.820 I saw a really funny one and I can't find it anymore.

00:34:27.880 Someone asked me whether I would rather have Miley Cyrus or I think it was Ilhan Omar as

00:34:36.640 my personal assistant.

00:34:39.000 Oh man, that's, that's really, really hard.

00:34:45.680 I don't know.

00:34:47.220 I don't know.

00:34:48.080 I don't think that I can, I don't even know if it was Miley Cyrus or someone.

00:34:51.460 I don't even know if I can answer that.

00:34:53.280 I can't trust either of them for very different reasons.

00:34:56.840 I love would you rather.

00:34:58.460 If you follow me on Instagram, sometimes I do like Q and a on Instagram and I give y'all

00:35:02.520 a good, would you rather I'll have to do that one episode.

00:35:05.760 I'll have to come up with a really good, would you rather?

00:35:08.040 And you guys can discuss.

00:35:09.520 I'm really good at coming up with absurd, ridiculous, would you rather?

00:35:13.400 I don't know.

00:35:13.900 God just gave me, God just gave me a, um, a gift and that's when he was making me, he

00:35:21.120 was like, this is just one thing I'm going to be able to put in your brain.

00:35:23.940 Also really good at Mad Libs.

00:35:25.920 I'm really good at like stupid things that don't contribute anything good to society.

00:35:32.480 Hopefully I'm good at some other things too, but I'm also good at like really ridiculous

00:35:36.460 things like Mad Libs and would you rather?

00:35:38.820 So if we ever all relatable listeners, if we all get together and have a Mad Libs party,

00:35:45.120 that would be the time of my life.

00:35:47.140 Okay.

00:35:47.480 That's all I have time for today.

00:35:48.760 Thank you guys so much for listening.

00:35:50.360 I will be back here on Wednesday.

00:35:51.400 Bye.

00:35:51.460 Bye.

00:35:51.540 Bye.

00:35:52.040 Bye.

00:35:52.100 Bye.

00:35:52.540 Bye.

00:35:52.600 Bye.

00:35:53.100 Bye.

00:35:53.600 Bye.

00:35:53.660 Bye.

00:35:54.600 Bye.

00:35:54.660 Bye.

00:35:55.600 Bye.

00:35:55.660 Bye.

00:35:56.600 Bye.

00:35:56.660 Bye.

00:35:57.600 Bye.

00:35:57.660 Bye.

00:35:58.600 Bye.

00:35:58.660 Bye.

00:35:59.600 Bye.

00:36:00.600 Bye.

00:36:00.660 Bye.

00:36:02.660 Bye.

00:36:04.660 Bye.

00:36:04.700 Bye.

00:36:04.740 Bye.

00:36:04.780 Bye.

00:36:04.820 Bye.

00:36:06.740 Bye.

00:36:06.780 Bye.

00:36:06.800 Bye.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - March 09, 2020

Ep 222 ｜ How Do I Tell Someone They’re Wrong？

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