Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 27 ｜ Alex Jones, Masculinity & Eating Disorders

00:00:00.000 What's up, y'all? It is Thursday, which means it's almost the weekend. And even though I work

00:00:05.220 from home and I never really stop working, I am still always excited for Friday. And I hope that

00:00:11.380 you guys are too. I hope that you guys have had an excellent week. Thanks for ending this week

00:00:16.180 with me on this podcast, which is, as you guys know, CRTV is relatable. Be sure to subscribe,

00:00:22.640 to rate, to share, to do all that fun stuff. And also, if you want to sign up for CRTV using

00:00:27.860 promo code Allie20, so you can watch my face in addition to listening to my lovely, high-pitched,

00:00:34.080 really annoying voice that I personally hate to listen to, but I'm glad that you guys like it.

00:00:38.480 Okay. I'm excited about today's podcast because there's a lot that I want to talk about. I want

00:00:43.660 to talk about this controversy we've been hearing about, re-Alex Jones from Infowars. And I also want

00:00:49.760 to talk about something completely separate from that, which is masculinity and my true thoughts

00:00:55.280 on gender, feminism, et cetera, how that all works together. I have some nuance to my opinion that

00:01:01.120 you might not expect. My PragerU video on this came out this week, so I thought it would be a good time

00:01:07.140 to discuss this subject. And then I am going to answer one listener question that is a pretty

00:01:12.500 vulnerable question, but I thought that you guys would maybe appreciate hearing my perspective

00:01:18.920 on this subject. Okay. First things first, Alex Jones. So Alex Jones runs the website Infowars,

00:01:27.120 and he is the host of his own web-based show, The Alex Jones Show. This week, he was kicked off Apple,

00:01:34.380 Google, and Facebook's online platforms, which includes YouTube and iTunes. This, of course,

00:01:40.460 caused a big fuss, not just among supporters of Alex Jones, but also among supporters of free speech.

00:01:46.840 Now, I am going to get into why this isn't really an issue of free speech in just a second. But first,

00:01:53.360 I want to back up and get a sense of who Alex Jones actually is. So he's billed, particularly by people

00:02:00.460 on the left, as a right-wing pundit or a commentator, but he really shows no indication, no signs of being

00:02:08.140 a conservative. He's basically just anti-establishment, as far as I can tell. He probably would consider

00:02:14.120 himself a part of the alt-right, though people on the alt-right don't typically use the term alt-right.

00:02:19.420 They use this term called paleoconservative, which is what he's referred to himself as.

00:02:24.560 It was a term that was popularized by Pat Buchanan, and it's really a word that now means,

00:02:30.640 though I'm not sure if it's always meant this, an allegiance to Western identity.

00:02:35.140 So paleoconservatives consider themselves the real conservatives, because they are actually,

00:02:40.540 in their minds, actually conserving something, and that is Western European culture, whatever

00:02:46.800 that even really means. Paleoconservatives hate these people that they call neoconservatives or

00:02:53.020 neocons, whom they believe to be globalists, because we, I would consider myself, I guess,

00:03:00.120 in their terms, a neocon. We're not fighting for what they consider to be a Western European identity

00:03:05.940 in the same way that they are. They say that neoconservatives stand up for the Constitution,

00:03:10.200 and small government, but apparently we fail to see how multiculturalism and immigration aspects

00:03:16.200 of what they call globalism make it impossible for the Constitution to be upheld and the government

00:03:21.680 to be limited in America, because we are importing all of these people from various cultures who don't 1.00

00:03:28.520 believe in the Constitution or small government. But these so-called paleoconservatives, aka today's

00:03:34.520 alt-right, like Alex Jones, they don't actually necessarily believe in upholding the Constitution

00:03:40.020 or limiting the government nearly as much as they care about making sure that America is upholding these

00:03:45.620 Western values. So what does that mean? Well, it's honestly not completely clear. What I've gathered from

00:03:52.900 my research is that they really like the 1950s. They really like traditionalism. They really like the idea of

00:03:58.840 women kind of taking a backseat. They really like the idea of a white ethnostate, although they don't 1.00

00:04:04.580 always come right out and say that. And they're really into white pride. They would not say that

00:04:11.000 they are racist or white supremacists. They would just say that just like every other culture, that

00:04:17.180 white people should be able to be proud of their own culture and should seek to form a coalition based

00:04:22.600 on race, just like every other race does. They're fans of identity politics, outspoken fans of identity

00:04:28.300 politics. They really aren't that different from the far left. And now I'm not saying that Alex Jones

00:04:33.980 himself has said all of these things, but I am describing the ideology paleoconservatism that he

00:04:40.240 claims to cling to himself. How do I know all of these things about this ideology? Because I've studied

00:04:47.480 extensively. I have talked to adherents to this way of thinking thoroughly to understand what they think

00:04:53.900 and why they think that way. These people don't like me. They hate other people like Ben Shapiro and

00:04:58.980 everyone that they consider neocons who aren't doing enough to uphold whiteness and white European

00:05:06.840 culture. Oh, and speaking of Ben Shapiro, these paleocons slash the alt-right really don't like Jewish

00:05:15.460 people because they think Jewish people control the entire world. And so Jewish people to them are 0.95

00:05:20.640 peak globalists out to ruin Western society, particularly America. So again, Alex Jones hasn't 0.81

00:05:26.880 expressly said these things. I am just giving you context around him. This is how many paleoconservatives

00:05:34.660 think and many of the people who like Alex Jones think. But even though he hasn't said everything I've

00:05:40.020 just described to you, he has said a lot of crazy, you know what, a lot of crazy stuff. The defining

00:05:47.320 feature of Alex Jones is that he loves a good conspiracy theory, like can not resist it. He said

00:05:54.880 that Sandy Hook was a hoax with child actors. The Oklahoma City bombing was fake. He said that 9-11 was

00:06:01.920 an inside job. He believes that the government controls the weather and is causing natural disasters.

00:06:07.620 He is also famous for saying that the government is putting chemicals in the water to make the frogs 0.97

00:06:13.620 gay. Here is him talking about Sandy Hook, the shooting at an elementary school that happened in 0.65

00:06:19.620 2012. The official story of Sandy Hook has more holes in it than Swiss cheese. My gut tells me the

00:06:26.820 White House, people controlling the governments were involved in this. So don't ever think the

00:06:32.120 globalists that have hijacked this country wouldn't stage something like this. They kill little kids 0.98

00:06:36.240 all day, every day. And it's not our government. It's the globalists. I mean, they're doing it.

00:06:41.700 They're doing it. They're staging it. Alex Jones also completely made up a story about me on his show,

00:06:50.600 telling his listeners that he asked me to come on his show, but that I said no because I thought I was

00:06:56.320 too good for him. Well, if I had been asked, I probably would have said no, but that didn't happen.

00:07:02.420 I was never asked to go on the show. And then he went on this long tirade about a video that I did

00:07:08.420 about the need for strong men and said that I was wrong. I don't even remember his reasoning for why

00:07:14.760 I was wrong, but he blatantly lied about me. I'm sure he's done the same thing about others. He's

00:07:19.300 definitely expressed his distaste for other conservative commentators. He makes up conspiracy

00:07:25.400 theories without citing any legitimate sources. The guy is crazy. He's crazy. 1.00

00:07:30.340 Um, and I personally don't think he adds anything good to the conversation, but all of that said, 0.88

00:07:37.980 whether or not I like him or think he's a good guy is really irrelevant to whether or not it was right

00:07:43.280 of Facebook, Google, and Apple to banish him from their platforms. Uh, there are lots of people that I

00:07:48.420 don't like on the internet, but I don't want them to be kicked off necessarily because I realize the

00:07:54.300 implications that that has for me and for other voices that I do like and appreciate, uh, that we

00:08:00.280 could all get kicked off, uh, based on the whims of those who are in charge is something that I have

00:08:05.120 to think about when I consider someone as crazy as Alex Jones getting kicked off. So Facebook,

00:08:11.220 Google, and Apple all claim that Alex Jones violated their terms of service on multiple occasions.

00:08:16.640 Uh, the New York times reported that there are a plethora of defamation lawsuits against Jones.

00:08:21.900 And I agree that Jones has spewed many things that are at least borderline, uh, slanderous. I mean,

00:08:29.020 he just makes up stuff and then runs with it. And unfortunately, uh, people who don't know how to

00:08:35.140 think for themselves, uh, or do their own research just buy into it. But see, that's not actually the

00:08:41.200 reason that these platforms cited for kicking Jones off. They cited hate speech, hate speech of all things

00:08:49.060 to cite hate speech. Uh, this is what the verge is reporting. According to Facebook, Jones's four

00:08:55.140 pages were taken down for quote glorifying violence and quote using to humanizing language to describe

00:09:01.580 people who are transgender Muslims and immigrants. Um, and this would be right here. They're, they're

00:09:09.220 reasoning for kicking him off. This would be why I don't agree with them banning Alex Jones,

00:09:15.120 not because I like his stuff, but because the standards these sites are setting are totally

00:09:20.280 bogus because they're completely subjective. They're arbitrary. Who says what is dehumanizing?

00:09:26.680 What about everyone who makes jokes about abortion? That's pretty darn dehumanizing. What about the

00:09:32.460 hateful language against president Trump or Snoop Dogg and Kathy Griffin banned from these platforms

00:09:36.940 when they glorified violence against Trump? I mean, what is hate speech actually? What is hate?

00:09:42.800 Is it hateful to say that boys are boys and girls are girls that crossing the border illegally makes 0.81

00:09:48.200 you a criminal that unlimited welfare encourages lead laziness, that abortion is murder, that a 0.80

00:09:54.200 biblical marriage is between a man and a woman, that Jesus is the only way to heaven. Are these 0.85

00:09:58.080 things hateful? Do they constitute as hate speech? Will people get kicked off platforms for saying these

00:10:03.880 things? I mean, we know that they already are constituted as, as bigoted and malicious. So it's not

00:10:11.480 hard to believe that the next step is banning this kind of speech from online platforms since we know

00:10:16.380 that the majority of people running these companies are part of the left. It's one thing to ban people

00:10:23.900 for clearly violating your terms of service if, big if, you can say what terms they violated and how

00:10:30.340 and how and if you apply that standard fairly across the board, but it doesn't seem like they're

00:10:36.600 doing either of those things, which is why this has caused so much chaos and fear over the last few

00:10:41.340 days. David French wrote an opinion piece for the New York Times. I feel like I've been quoting David

00:10:45.600 French a lot lately titled A Better Way to Ban Alex Jones, in which he points out correctly that

00:10:54.320 while hate speech is subjective, slander and libel legally are not. He also points out off the top,

00:11:01.520 which is the point I promised to make earlier, that this is not a free speech First Amendment issue.

00:11:06.380 You do not have a First Amendment right to say what you want on someone else's platform.

00:11:11.100 That platform, which is a non-government funded entity, has the right to set its own terms and

00:11:17.420 determine what can be said and what can't. Legally, constitutionally, they have that right.

00:11:22.380 We don't have to like it, but we have no grounds on which we can sue them for violating our right to

00:11:27.420 free speech. No one is making us use those platforms to spread our ideas. The only people

00:11:33.080 who can actually violate your right to free speech is the government. And slander and libel also are

00:11:39.620 not protected forms of speech under the First Amendment. So even if the government were to

00:11:43.860 punish Jones for the things he said, as long as what he said can be proven to be libelous or

00:11:48.720 slanderous, which, by the way, is very hard to prove, then constitutionally that's OK. So this isn't a

00:11:54.560 free speech thing that people should be mad about. It's the fact that we have these tech giants

00:11:59.020 setting completely arbitrary moral standards for what people can and can't say on their platforms,

00:12:04.880 standards that are not clearly outlined in their terms of service and standards that are not clearly

00:12:09.400 or evenly applied to everyone. So what it seems like is that Jones is being targeted because he is

00:12:15.800 not part of the left. I have a hard time believing that if he was making up conspiracy theories about

00:12:21.300 Trump being Hitler reincarnate, that we would be seeing him kicked off. I don't know that for sure,

00:12:26.880 but I mean, that's basically being propagated by so-called legitimate news sources and no one says

00:12:31.360 anything. So all in all, I think this is a very dangerous precedent that they are setting, even if

00:12:38.440 I agree with him that this guy is basically a nut job who adds nothing to the conversation.

00:12:43.380 Now, do I think that the government should get involved? Absolutely not. I am dreading

00:12:49.000 President Trump even tweeting about this, which he might. You just never know. I don't want these

00:12:54.540 platforms to be regulated. I've said before, and I'll say it again, that that would turn out very

00:13:00.000 badly in the end for conservatives. If there is a technologically savvy conservative or open dialogue

00:13:06.680 advocate out there who wants to create a competitor to these companies, I say, go for it. You will have

00:13:11.860 ample support. And that's possible. That is the correct conservative free market position to take.

00:13:17.880 So that is that controversy. I'm sure there will be more developments over the next few days.

00:13:24.420 Oh, and it's also I thought that this was interesting as well. Jack Dorsey, the CEO of

00:13:29.580 Twitter, has said that he is not going to ban Alex Jones from his platform because Alex Jones has not

00:13:34.540 violated their terms of service. Now, this is a very logical position to take. Obviously,

00:13:39.900 Jack Dorsey is on the left, doesn't agree with Alex Jones, but he's saying, hey, I'm not going to kick

00:13:44.160 him off just because I don't like what he has to say. He hasn't violated anything yet. And the left

00:13:49.620 is absolutely losing their minds and going after him. And I just say, Jack, do not succumb to the

00:13:56.140 liberal mob. Do what you know is right, because they are relentless and they will make you beg and

00:14:01.260 grovel even after you apologize. OK, now let us switch gears and discuss something completely

00:14:08.220 different. And that is the subject of masculinity. Since this is my podcast, I guess I'm allowed to

00:14:14.780 toot my own horn just a little bit and say that my recently released PragerU video on this subject

00:14:19.980 turned out really well. And that really has only a tiny bit to do with me and a lot more to do with

00:14:27.300 Prager University, who is just so good at producing quality educational content. They asked me to do a

00:14:32.900 video in the spring back in the spring. So I went to L.A. a few months ago to film it and it just came

00:14:38.820 out this week on Monday. And the subject that we decided on for this video was the importance of good

00:14:45.020 masculinity to society. You guys have heard me talk about this a lot. You've heard me talk about the pros

00:14:50.600 and cons of the Me Too movement. And one of the cons is that I think it wrongly blames men and masculinity

00:14:57.900 for the problem of sexual assault. We hear a lot about toxic masculinity and how toxic masculinity is the

00:15:04.740 culprit for not just sexual assault and harassment, but all of the crimes against humanity, basically like

00:15:11.080 war, inequality, corruption, division, tyranny, all of that. People who purport this theory claim that toxic

00:15:18.020 masculinity is the masculinity that is aggressive, arrogant, insensitive, abusive, etc. All of these kind of

00:15:25.320 general terms. And in order for all of these bad things in our world to go away that are perpetrated by men,

00:15:31.340 we must squelch toxic masculinity, disregard the fact that there is no actual concrete definition of toxic

00:15:38.300 masculinity, no clear line between good masculinity and bad masculinity. The point is these leftist feminists say 1.00

00:15:46.340 we have to get rid of it. And since there is no actual real definition of toxic masculinity, it should be no

00:15:53.540 surprised that there is no actual solution to toxic masculinity either. And what I found through

00:15:59.040 research is that the suggested solution isn't actually to make masculinity less toxic. It's to make

00:16:05.360 men less masculine. Men should take a backseat. They should be quieter. They should only fight for the

00:16:11.120 causes that women tell them that they should fight for. They should be passive and let women be more 1.00

00:16:15.340 aggressive for a change. Men should be suppressed so women can be elevated. Basically, whether they say this 0.90

00:16:22.180 expressly or not, these proponents of this theory believed that men should be more like women and

00:16:29.100 women should try to become more like men. I mean, that's basically the premise of this entire push 1.00

00:16:34.360 for gender fluidity, right? That men and women are really no different from one another, that there are

00:16:39.320 no inherent distinctions. And if we all adopted characteristics of the opposite sex, then we would

00:16:44.720 have a totally equal society. So factually, logically, scientifically, historically, that theory

00:16:54.040 just doesn't really hold up. Men are inherently different than women. And these inherent differences 0.99

00:17:01.560 are good. Men might be unique. They are unique in their ability to wreak havoc because they are stronger

00:17:09.020 physically. They are more aggressive. They typically are more assertive and more ambitious than women. 0.98

00:17:13.560 But these things also give them the capacity to build and to protect nations in a way that women 1.00

00:17:19.200 simply were not made to do. I know. Hot take. Okay. Here, that is the pretext for this video. Here's an

00:17:26.660 excerpt. The growing problem in today's society isn't that men are too masculine. It's that they're not

00:17:32.420 masculine enough. When men embrace their masculinity in a way that is healthy and productive, they are

00:17:38.900 leaders, warriors, and heroes. When they deny their masculinity, they run away from responsibilities,

00:17:45.880 leaving destruction and despair in their wake. The consequences can be seen everywhere. One in four

00:17:51.800 fathers now lives apart from his children. And children who grew up without a dad are generally

00:17:56.660 more depressed than their peers who have a mother and a father. They are at far greater risk for

00:18:01.620 incarceration, teen pregnancy and poverty. 71% of high school dropouts are fatherless. If you want

00:18:08.380 to watch that video in its entirety, you can go to the PragerU YouTube page. The video is called

00:18:13.740 Make Men Masculine Again. It's also on my Facebook page, The Conservative Millennial. Please share if you

00:18:19.480 so desire. It's gotten like 2 million views or something like that in the past three days. So I've

00:18:26.340 gotten a lot of positive feedback. And what I've heard is, wow, this is a very brave thing to say.

00:18:32.180 And we need more of this. And this is so hard to teach my kids against everything they're learning

00:18:36.960 in public school, which really just breaks my heart. Because nothing that was said in this video

00:18:41.980 would have been controversial in the mainstream even 10 years ago. I'm old enough to remember that

00:18:47.400 when young men actually stepping up to the plate and taking ownership, that that was seen by virtually

00:18:53.160 everyone as a good thing, a thing that's necessary to thriving communities. It was known that when men

00:18:59.920 refuse to take responsibility, when they walk out on things, when they're tough, like families or jobs

00:19:06.640 or their service to the country, that bad things happen. Families, communities, nations are left

00:19:12.000 vulnerable. Men both have a drive and an ability to protect and to fortify in a way that women simply 0.99

00:19:19.400 were not made to do. If we were made to do it, we would be able to look back at history and see it.

00:19:25.080 But we don't. In the vast majority of cases, men are the hunters, the warriors, the rulers,

00:19:30.720 the builders, the harvesters, the leaders, the providers, the protectors. Don't worry. I know

00:19:35.440 you're freaking out just a little bit, all of you little feminists out there. I will get to women in 1.00

00:19:39.380 just a second. But this is just true historically and culturally. I mean, do we honestly think that the

00:19:44.520 reason that men have occupied these roles in all cultures for all of time is because of a social

00:19:52.980 construct, because of some kind of patriarchy, East, West, ancient, modern, it doesn't matter.

00:19:59.220 Men have mostly been the ones to conquer, to fight, to construct, to cultivate. Men have had this

00:20:04.540 propensity since the beginning of time to make something out of nothing, to carry a cause forward,

00:20:09.760 to advance kingdoms, to create communities, villages, tribes, countries, literally everywhere,

00:20:13.940 literally forever. Should we not pause to consider that maybe if it's happening everywhere and for

00:20:21.020 all of time, that maybe that's innate? Now, everything has two sides. This drive that men

00:20:27.260 have for power, control, conquering, cultivation has also led to human suffering. Both men and women

00:20:33.420 have unique characteristics that manifest itself in unique kinds of evil because we are all fallen

00:20:38.820 human beings. But it is not masculinity or femininity that is primarily to blame. It is sin. It's the

00:20:45.900 evil of human nature. All of our good qualities, our good unique qualities as men and women can also be

00:20:52.400 corrupted and used for harm. Men who have the unique capacity and ability to fight and to protect in a way

00:20:58.260 that women are not created to also have the unique propensity to cause destruction through violence and 0.96

00:21:03.780 aggression. So the solution to that is not less masculinity, but better masculinity, the kind of

00:21:12.180 masculinity that takes responsibility, that puts the needs of his community and family above his own,

00:21:17.620 that serves and respects and cares and provides and nurtures and protects. The men who are guilty of

00:21:23.120 all of this horrible abuse and harassment that we're seeing in Hollywood and that we're hearing about in

00:21:27.500 the Me Too movement are not too masculine. They are not masculine enough, not in its true good sense.

00:21:35.000 They are using their physical strength to dominate the vulnerable, which is a corruption of what

00:21:39.320 masculinity is actually for, which is protection. Now, all of this said, I obviously believe in the

00:21:48.380 necessity of strong women. Women throughout history have done amazing things that some men just have it. 0.96

00:21:54.240 Deborah in the Bible stepped up to the plate when no one else would. Esther was a badass. Rahab exhibited 0.91

00:22:00.320 bravery that many men in the Bible didn't. Mary pretty much changed the game for all of history. 0.85

00:22:05.740 More recently, outside of the Bible, Harriet Tubman, Corrie ten Boom, Mother Teresa, Margaret Thatcher.

00:22:11.220 Today, Nikki Haley is taking names. God has used and is still using women to do extremely important and 0.88

00:22:18.240 incredible things for his glory and for the good of mankind. He obviously views women as not just

00:22:23.800 valuable as people made in his image, but also as a force to be reckoned with. I believe that God has

00:22:29.400 called me to be a voice, to be in front of people, to fight for truth. By highlighting the importance of

00:22:34.440 good masculinity and good men to society, I am in no way minimizing the importance of good femininity

00:22:41.060 and good, strong, outspoken, bold women. But the fact is women and men are different. Even in our

00:22:50.460 leadership, we lead differently. Women are typically better communicators. We are better at multitasking 0.81

00:22:56.200 than men are. We are more empathetic than men are. You need someone to calm chaos right then and

00:23:01.580 there. You ask a woman, particularly a mom, not a man. We are better caretakers. You watch little 0.59

00:23:07.440 kids playing and what's usually happening. The boys are building things and then they're destroying them

00:23:12.020 as violently as possible and as loudly as possible. The girls are usually taking care of things. 1.00

00:23:16.940 They are dressing up their animals. They're feeding dolls, whatever it is. They're just

00:23:21.420 different. Women typically, typically have a desire to raise families. Men typically have a desire to

00:23:27.820 provide for their families. These are just general differences between men and women that should be 1.00

00:23:33.680 celebrated and not diminished. Now, some of you might be getting uncomfortable. I can feel it. Don't worry

00:23:40.340 though. I got you because this is where the nuance to all of this comes in. Just because there are real

00:23:46.860 differences between men and women that are inherent and are seen throughout history does not mean that

00:23:52.240 men and women have to fit into stereotypes in order to be good men or women and harmful stereotypes that

00:23:58.740 are perpetuated by society do exist. Feminists are not completely wrong when they say that society has 1.00

00:24:06.460 created false generalizations of male and female that have in some cases been harmful to individuals that

00:24:13.180 don't fit into those generalizations. For example, in order to be manly, men don't have to hunt and fish

00:24:21.120 and play football. It is OK for a man to like musical theater, to like dance, to like poetry, poetry and hate

00:24:28.300 the outdoors and sports. That's completely fine. It's OK for a man to be more quiet, to take jobs that society

00:24:34.340 says are only for women, like being a secretary or something like that. That doesn't take away from a man's 1.00

00:24:39.960 masculinity or manliness because these things do not and should not define masculinity. I mean,

00:24:46.220 from a Christian perspective, I certainly don't see that kind of stereotype in the Bible. I mean,

00:24:51.320 David was an extremely sensitive person who was also a musician. But what made David mighty and what

00:24:57.460 makes all men mighty was David's bravery, his obedience to God, his willingness to courageously

00:25:03.720 undertake the task set before him? He was a kid when he defeated Goliath. We don't see any indication

00:25:09.840 of him being some macho guy. He just stepped up to the plate. That's what makes a good man. Taking

00:25:15.020 responsibility, taking ownership, sacrifice, bravery, taking care of your family, making your community

00:25:20.860 better, taking initiative. This is the stuff of good men. It doesn't really matter what your hobbies are

00:25:27.300 or what your personality type is. What are the choices you make and how do they affect those in

00:25:34.680 your sphere of influence? The same is true for women. Although honestly, I would say that we probably 0.95

00:25:41.040 have less pressure nowadays to fit into a stereotype of what a woman is than men do. Women can be moms, 1.00

00:25:47.460 nannies, secretaries, caretakers, or we can be CEOs and politicians. There is really very little

00:25:53.920 shame for any of those choices. Sure. Some people are judged for working and not being at home with

00:26:00.540 their kids, or maybe, uh, they're shamed for only being a stay at home mom. Those are scare quotes

00:26:06.880 used. Um, but in general, uh, women are free and encouraged to make choices that are right for them. 0.89

00:26:13.880 Men have to make the choice. That's not just right for them, but also right for those around them. That's

00:26:19.220 just the way it is. Um, but I certainly am not some Susie homemaker who takes all my cues from my

00:26:25.980 husband. You guys know that you can probably pick up on that. Now, as a Christian, I of course respect

00:26:31.060 my husband as the head of our household and will submit to his final decisions. But so far in our

00:26:35.880 marriage, uh, it's never come to the point to where I have to defer to him because we've made all of our

00:26:41.600 decisions together and we've agreed on the big things. He listens to me. I listened to him. I always feel

00:26:47.220 respected and thought about, so it's not hard for me to follow him. Um, but I can't tell you the

00:26:53.040 confidence and assurance I have being married to a man that I know is always going to do what he has

00:26:57.820 to do to protect and provide for our family. I was raised by the same kind of man who made all kinds

00:27:02.740 of sacrifices for us growing up. Uh, my husband was also raised by the same kind of dad. My brothers

00:27:07.640 and brothers-in-law are the same way. I have seen firsthand the importance of good men, and it is my hope

00:27:15.800 that we can keep teaching our boys to be these kinds of good men without being labeled bigots.

00:27:22.280 Uh, so that was the point of my video, and it's something that I am going to keep harping on forever

00:27:26.780 and ever until the thought police come to my house, arrest me, and lock me up. Um, okay. Now, uh, I have

00:27:34.120 a question that I got from Instagram. That's where I get most of my questions. You guys message me, and then

00:27:38.940 I try to answer as many as I can. I get a lot of questions. Usually I only have time to really thoroughly

00:27:43.620 answer one. So I'm going to answer one that I think is important to talk about. So this question

00:27:49.120 is, you've mentioned before in the podcast that you struggled with an eating disorder in college.

00:27:54.740 What advice would you give to young women, especially new believers who have lived their 1.00

00:27:59.200 lives, uh, struggling with the toxic secular messages we receive about our bodies and are now

00:28:04.900 trying to reconcile that with their, with their new identity as Christians, as always love you. And

00:28:10.300 her story tonight literally made me LOL. Um, well, thank you. She is talking about my Instagram

00:28:14.980 story and I always appreciate how much enjoyment you guys get from those. Um, okay. So yes, I have

00:28:22.440 mentioned before that I had an eating disorder briefly during and after college. Uh, for those of you who

00:28:27.960 want to hear my full story and testimony, you can go to a previous episode. I'm not sure, uh, which one

00:28:34.420 it is or what the number is, but the title and description should give it away. I'll try to figure out

00:28:38.840 which one it is and maybe tell you all on Instagram. Um, so I was a good Christian girl

00:28:42.800 all through college. I dated the same guy for three years. He was a great Christian guy.

00:28:47.640 I knew all along really that we were not meant to be together, but I thought, Hey, he's a good

00:28:54.360 catch. He's, he's really godly. He has a good family. So why not just marry him? Um, and I had

00:28:59.040 really convinced myself that that was going to happen. It was super serious. Uh, and he was really

00:29:03.800 all I ever knew in college, but we broke up about halfway through my senior year and

00:29:08.720 I was devastated. Um, in a way, looking back, I was actually relieved, but you know, you're

00:29:13.760 still heartbroken. I mean, you're 21 years old. You're heartbroken after a serious breakup.

00:29:18.080 And as it turns out, I found out after this breakup, a lot of my identity in college, a lot

00:29:23.740 of my good behavior, going to Bible studies, being chaplain in my sorority, uh, was not actually

00:29:29.240 found in Christ or in Christianity, but in this guy, uh, being the good Christian girl,

00:29:35.540 I knew I should be for him. So when we broke up that identity totally shattered, uh, temptation

00:29:43.020 came in like it always does. And, and really vulnerable parts of your life. When I think

00:29:47.560 Satan knows that you're most susceptible to sin. And I started coping with the pain of this

00:29:53.180 breakup, um, by drinking and partying and guys and all that stuff that most people do all

00:29:58.120 throughout college. Um, I hadn't been doing any of those things throughout college. So

00:30:01.880 I basically crammed four years of college into one semester and I went hard. I made a

00:30:06.860 lot of really stupid decisions during this time as is typical when someone is getting blackout 1.00

00:30:12.620 drunk multiple nights a week. Um, my worth, my identity, my satisfaction were all completely 0.99

00:30:18.000 misplaced. And the sad thing is I knew it. I knew better. I wasn't like so many girls who

00:30:24.360 had just never been taught anything different. I knew the truth and I was rejecting it anyway.

00:30:29.900 Uh, I knew that this wasn't what God wanted for me, but I rebelled regardless of that. Um,

00:30:36.940 so let me back up just a little bit. Uh, during the time that we were breaking up, I also got

00:30:42.220 shingles. Yes. Shingles. That thing that 80 year olds get in nursing homes. I was 21 and

00:30:48.220 I got shingles and I had to leave college for three weeks right after we broke up to go home and

00:30:53.960 to get better. It was awful. I had sores all over my neck, all over my face. It was probably

00:30:58.700 the most pain that I've ever been in. Uh, during this time I lost a lot of weight. Uh, I was

00:31:04.780 sad and when I'm sad, I don't have an appetite. Plus I was sick. So without even trying during

00:31:10.740 these few weeks, I was losing weight. Uh, when I got back to school, people started telling

00:31:15.000 me how great I looked, how skinny I was. I really liked that. Uh, and as the weeks went

00:31:20.120 on as I started going out more, doing all the things that I told you about that I knew

00:31:24.600 would make me happy, but I did anyway. Um, I also started to purposely avoid food. I liked

00:31:30.380 the attention that I was getting from my friends and from guys who are now talking to me a lot

00:31:34.760 because I was freshly single and I didn't want to give that up. Um, I started to believe

00:31:39.860 the lie that my worth came from what these people thought of me and how I looked and I did

00:31:46.320 look good. I, I didn't get to the point of being emaciated. So I told myself I'm fine.

00:31:51.680 It's, it's healthy. It's okay. Well, what they don't tell you about anorexia or maybe

00:31:57.240 they did and I just wasn't listening. What they don't tell you about anorexia is that

00:32:00.560 eventually you get hungry. People have to eat to survive. Uh, so after a few months of

00:32:05.660 restricting my eating and really overworking out, I started to realize that I missed food.

00:32:11.020 So I would eat and then I would immediately throw up. And after a few weeks or a few months

00:32:18.020 of doing that, I realized, okay, this is not okay. This is probably not okay. This is an

00:32:22.920 addiction and I really can't stop. Um, at this point I graduated from college. I was in my

00:32:28.580 first job, uh, but I lived in a college town and I was still partying. And so my identity

00:32:32.960 was still in this affirmation of other people. Um, I was still numbing all of my pain and regret

00:32:38.840 with alcohol and boys. And so I felt that I couldn't give up my eating disorder without

00:32:44.340 getting quite frankly fat. And if I got fat, then I wouldn't have all of this attention

00:32:48.940 that I craved. Um, but finally, and I can't remember why I even did it, but finally, probably

00:32:55.140 a few months after graduation, I decided that I needed to see a counselor. Um, I told my counselor,

00:33:00.900 I'd never seen a counselor before, but I told my counselor what was going on. And after a few

00:33:05.360 sessions of kind of getting to know me, she finally just looked me in the eye and said,

00:33:09.060 this is going to kill you. You are going to die from this. In honest to God, I never threw 0.98

00:33:17.400 up my food again. Uh, that is not how I wanted to die. If I was hospitalized, then my parents

00:33:22.780 would find out. I didn't want to disappoint them. I didn't want to cause other people pain.

00:33:27.480 This was about me. Uh, I had to realize the gravity of my situation and face the reality that

00:33:33.220 my sins were going to affect other people, maybe for the rest of their lives. Um, there's a lot of

00:33:40.320 mixed feelings about counseling, but in my case, that counselor saved my life. She saved my life.

00:33:47.240 I don't know where I would be without her, if I would be here or without her. And it took waking up

00:33:53.980 to the danger of my eating disorder to shake me out of everything else, uh, to realize that this whole

00:33:59.640 thing just couldn't last this pursuit of temporary pleasure, uh, that I would keep getting hurt,

00:34:04.820 that things would only get worse. And I knew that God had something better for me than that. He had

00:34:10.000 to and think of the Lord. Thank God that he is relentless in his love for us, that he is faithful

00:34:17.340 when we're faithless, that he holds onto us when we let go, that his affection for us is totally

00:34:22.720 and completely independent from what we do and is totally and completely dependent on what Christ has

00:34:28.200 already done for us. Um, I'm not telling you all of this so that you can go out and sin and one day

00:34:33.860 it'll all be fine. I'm telling you this to encourage you to stop sinning, to let go of this false idol

00:34:40.180 of affirmation that I think that so many of us obsess over and to go to the one who actually tells you

00:34:45.500 who you are and who you are as a believer in God's sight is perfect, is whole, is loved, and is

00:34:51.480 accepted. And that is the truth that you don't learn just once. You don't learn it two times or even

00:34:57.040 ten times. You learn that truth every single day. You learn it by meditation on God's word,

00:35:03.480 on focusing not on yourself and loving yourself, but on God and loving him. You learn it through

00:35:08.980 community, uh, with believers, through accountability, through being a part of a church, through constant

00:35:14.380 prayer, uh, through preaching to yourself the gospel, which is that Jesus died and rose again to set you

00:35:19.900 free from the bondage of sin. Um, I know for some people they need a lot more than a counselor to

00:35:27.680 stop their eating disorders or a counselor just telling them one time, um, to stop their eating

00:35:33.480 disorder. Maybe it's more complex than that for you. Maybe you have years of baggage that you're

00:35:37.980 working through. Maybe you didn't have a dad. Maybe, maybe you have never felt fully loved by anyone.

00:35:44.060 I know. I'm totally sympathetic to that. Um, but my answer to you would be the same.

00:35:50.800 You have to run full force to Jesus. He is the only one who can tell you who you are.

00:35:56.220 The only one that can save you. The only one who tells you what you're worth. And as the cross proves

00:36:02.300 what you're worth is his entire life. That's a lot. Um, okay. That was, that was intense. Probably a

00:36:09.160 really intense answer to that question, but I hope that I'd encourage you guys, uh, just to know that

00:36:13.680 I've been through a lot too. I hear from some of you about your stories and you know, there's only

00:36:19.260 so much we can share on podcasts and on social media, but I'm just like everyone else. And then

00:36:25.160 I have been through stuff. And if there's anything else that you guys want me to share, have questions

00:36:29.900 about, especially in that crazy time in my life in college, I know a lot of you guys can relate to

00:36:34.520 it. Uh, just message me on Instagram and let me know. I'm always, uh, taking messages. I'm always

00:36:39.840 taking emails. So if you have any suggestions for this, uh, for this podcast or constructive

00:36:44.680 criticism or questions or anything like that, please feel free to reach out to me. Uh, thank

00:36:49.480 you guys so much for listening and for watching and have a great weekend.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - August 09, 2018

Ep 27 ｜ Alex Jones, Masculinity & Eating Disorders

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