Ep 32 ｜ McCain & Media Mania
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Summary
In this episode, Allie talks about the death of Sen. John McCain and how the media reacted to it, as well as how President Trump and the rest of the country reacted to the news of it. Allie also shares her thoughts on the tragic death of Molly Tibbetts.
Transcript
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What's up, Relatable listeners? It is your host, Allie Stuckey. I hope everyone had a great
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weekend. We in the Stuckey household took on yet another home project. If you follow me on
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Instagram, you know that we've been doing that back-to-back weekends. We always immediately
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regret that, but then when it's over, we're like, wow, we are so satisfied that we actually did
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this thing that we've been trying to do for an entire year. So last weekend, we embarked on the
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horrific and very daunting task of cleaning out our garage in 100 degree heat, by the way,
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not very smart. And then this past weekend, we painted our dining room, which is actually going
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to be an office because do millennials even use dining rooms? I don't know. We don't. We don't
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even really sit at our kitchen table, which is kind of sad, but just being honest. Anyway, so we painted
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our dining room and my awesome husband helped me despite his deep-seated animus towards painting.
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Um, maybe you guys had more exciting weekends than that, but in our lives, in our adult lives,
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this is as exciting as the weekend gets. Um, but while we spent this past weekend watching
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paint dry, uh, the outside world did not. So a lot happens, uh, like it always does. Uh,
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this new cycle was a really busy one this weekend. And so we're going to talk about a couple of things
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that happened. We are going to talk about, uh, the death of Senator John McCain and why his death
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was met with a really wide range of extremely passionate reactions, uh, from both sides of
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the aisle. And, uh, that's going to kind of slide into how president Trump reacted to it and also how
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the media reacted to it. Um, and how they reacted to other things that happened, uh, the shooting in
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Florida that happened over the weekend, and then also the murder of Molly Tibbetts. Uh, more
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information was released about that last week. Um, then at the end, I am going to respond to one of
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the requests that my listeners had in an ending segment. That's kind of more personal and relatable
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as a kind of follow-up to the self-love episode that we did a few weeks ago. Okay. Okay. So first
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things first, uh, Senator John McCain, he was 81 when he died on Saturday of brain cancer. He was
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diagnosed last year when he, uh, underwent surgery to get a blood clot removed from his eye. Uh, then just a
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few days ago, uh, the family announced that he was no longer going to be receiving treatment for that
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brain cancer, that they were just going to allow the cancer to do its work and to let him pass as
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peacefully as possible. And then it was, it was almost like immediately he went and really was, it was
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just, I think a day later. And I think that's why it was so shocking for a lot of people, even though
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we all knew that it was about to happen. Um, I'm not sure that anyone expected for it to happen that
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quickly. I don't know if his, his family knew or if it was, uh, a surprise to them too, but either
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way, no matter what, uh, absolutely devastating for his wife, Cindy McCain, and for their whole family.
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Uh, as you guys know, Megan McCain, co-host of the view previously of Fox news, uh, is his daughter
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and has been really public in the past year about her kind of process of grief. And in my opinion,
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she has shown incredible strength and steadfastness, uh, in what I know has got to be,
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it was, it was probably one of the most challenging times of her life. Uh, from what she's told audiences,
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she and her dad were really, really close. And I can only imagine what it's been like to have to deal
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with something like that in the public eye. Um, I personally have been really encouraged and just
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kind of in awe of her fortitude and all of this. Um, I've thought a lot over the past couple of days,
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just how much of an impact someone like that can make by walking through pain and through sorrow and
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through struggle publicly. There are a lot of bad things about media, a lot of bad things about social
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media. There are negatives to the constant visibility of everyone and everything. But this I think is a
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positive, uh, at least for those watching. Um, I haven't had to go through a tragedy like this yet.
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Thank God. And I pray I don't have to anytime soon, but when that day comes for me, uh, I'm going to
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think about people like Megan McCain. I'm going to think about people like Mary Catherine Ham, a commentator
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whose husband died suddenly and tragically when she had one small daughter and then another one on the
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way, uh, who for, as far as I can tell, exhibited a lot of faith and a lot of perseverance in the midst of
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that. Um, I don't know if you guys follow Laura Grant on Instagram. She is the woman whose, uh, new
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husband and former Navy SEAL was hurt severely in an accident and, uh, has been unable to talk or walk
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since then. She's chronicled on social media, their whole rehabilitation journey, which has been
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incredible. And our faith is amazing. Or, uh, Catherine and Jay Wolf who wrote this book, uh, Hope Heals.
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You probably have heard of it, uh, telling the story of how Catherine had a stroke when she was, I think,
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26, uh, that hindered her physical capacities forever. Um, I'll think about people like my mom
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who, even though she's not a public figure, her whole life, I think has been an example of hope
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through suffering. Uh, her mom died from a random brain aneurysm when, when she was, when my mom was
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in her early twenties and she had two babies at that time. Uh, she has struggled a lot with my brother
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who has special needs, uh, literally sacrificing everything for him and really for our whole family.
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Um, so I hope and pray that I don't have to go through any of these things. No one voluntarily
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elects to suffer in these ways, but, but if I do, I can look to all of these people who have suffered
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really well. Um, and that's one reason I think in addition to its saving power, why Jesus's life
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is, is so important for us to meditate on. Um, he's the utmost example of enduring pain and justice and
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loss and rejection, uh, with faith and gratitude and submission and joy. Um, and anyway, to, to bring
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it back, even though I've never met Megan McCain, uh, personally, and I don't know if or when our
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paths will ever cross. I just, I would want her to know that the way that she has conducted herself
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through this season has really affected me. And if it's affected me, I know it's probably affected
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other people as well, uh, encouraging them maybe, maybe when they needed it most. Um, and that's,
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I think one really beautiful aspect of God and of being a Christian is his ability to create beauty
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out of ashes and to bring, uh, good out of what seems like disaster to use devastating circumstances
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to glorify himself and to help others. Um, and that's, that's the thing is that nothing to God is
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useless. Everything has a purpose. It's all doing something. It's all being used. It's not pointless.
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Uh, it's not empty. It's never for nothing. It's always for something. And I think that should give us
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a lot of hope. Uh, but there are unfortunately several people, it seems like who, uh, don't see
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this as a tragedy and certainly, uh, don't see the redemption in a tragedy like this. Uh, there are a lot
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of people who are quite frankly happy that McCain died and apparently pay no mind to the fact that he
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is a husband, a father, and a friend, and that people are really, really grieved by his departure.
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Um, it's been crazy for me to watch over the past couple of days, the way that people, especially
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people on the right have conducted themselves in light of McCain's death. Uh, the way that
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so-called conservatives have celebrated and maligned him have basically danced on his grave.
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Uh, there are those on the left who have done the same thing, of course, but, uh, it just doesn't
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seem as prevalent on the left as it has been on the right. Uh, people on the right have been
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almost gleeful. It seems like in reaction to his death. Uh, so let me explain why we have seen that
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reaction by talking a little bit about McCain's life and his career. So, uh, McCain was born in 1936
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and that in itself is pretty amazing because that's the same year that my grandmother was born and she's
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been in a retirement home for years. So the fact that he was that active, uh, is active as he was until
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his death says a lot about his vitality. Uh, he came from a military family, both his father and
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his grandfather were four-star admirals in the Navy. Uh, he also joined the Navy and fought in
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Vietnam. Uh, he was flying in a bombing mission over Vietnam in 1967. Uh, he was then made a prisoner
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of war and was tortured and interrogated by the Vietnamese. Uh, he was in solitary confinement for
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two years. Uh, in 1968, he was actually offered early release because his dad was made commander of
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U S forces in Vietnam. But, uh, McCain refused to be released until every other man who had been
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captured before him was also released. So that's just kind of an incredible act of, of loyalty and
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bravery. Uh, so later that year, the Vietnamese started a program of intense torture on McCain in
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order to, uh, get McCain to confess that he was a war criminal and that he was grateful to the
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Vietnamese. Um, he even got to the point of suicide apparently reportedly, but he couldn't go through
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with the attempts. Um, he eventually reached a breaking point and, uh, he did give them this,
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uh, so-called confession as, uh, many of the American POWs did. Um, but he refused to give
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additional information after that and was continually beaten for that refusal. Uh, he's still considered a
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hero of course, even though yes, he, he did reach that point as probably many of us would,
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all of us would of kind of breaking down. Um, he then got into politics in 1982. He won the
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congressional seat, uh, in the first district of Arizona. He was a Republican, obviously close in
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line politically with Reagan at the time. Uh, he was elected to the Senate in 1987 where he, uh,
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served until his death. He lost to Bush in 2000 in the Republican primary for president,
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and he won the Republican primary, uh, for president 2008. But as you guys know, unfortunately,
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uh, lost to Obama. He was not a big supporter of Trump. He said that he had concerns that Trump
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was uninformed. Uh, Trump, Trump's response, uh, was his now, uh, kind of infamous line. He is a war
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hero because he was captured. I like people that don't get captured. Uh, that is quite the insult from
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someone who has never served in his entire life. Uh, but even so McCain said, um, you know, a couple
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of years ago that he would support Trump because the Republican voters had spoken. Uh, he voted
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against Senate Republicans attempt to repeal Obamacare, even though repeal and replace was
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something that McCain had advocated for a lot in the past. Uh, he felt that this bill that the Senate
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had proposed didn't do enough to protect Medicaid in Arizona. So he voted thumbs down in a now very
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famous video. Uh, McCain was someone who reached across the aisle a lot. He was not afraid to push
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back on Republican priorities, uh, priorities, uh, but he was no doubt a conservative, no doubt. Uh,
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a lot of people call him a rhino, you know, Republican in name only, but that's just not true. Uh,
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Tommy Lahren, who you guys know, called him a rhino in a speech in Arizona on the day that his family
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announced that they were stopping treatment for brain cancer. So that's really nice. A lot of people did
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the same thing. Uh, he opposed Obamacare. He opposed the Iran nuclear deal. He even said that Obama was
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directly responsible for the Orlando nightclub shooting because of his soft hand on ISIS. Uh,
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he was a defender of the constitution. He believed in the supremacy of democracy. He was an advocate of
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American exceptionalism. He was a conservative, no doubt about that. Uh, but there are people who say
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that John McCain was a traitor because of the confession that he gave in Vietnam. Uh, but let's
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get one thing straight. Uh, these people only started talking about this claim after Trump made
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his negative comments about McCain. Uh, so they don't really see him as a traitor of the U S they
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see him as a traitor to Trump, which is just idiotic. Okay. It's just stupid. Uh, there was this Fox news
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analyst who, uh, this year said on air that McCain's fellow POWs called him songbird John, uh, for being a
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loud mouth in Vietnam and, uh, giving, uh, giving intel to the Vietnamese. Uh, that analyst was
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subsequently fired, uh, because that's a lie. That's a lie that has been debunked by several outlets,
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including PolitiFact, who talked to several of his fellow prisoners who all said that John was a hero
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and was trustworthy, uh, always putting patriotism before himself. Uh, so you may also see, uh, this
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conspiracy theory floating around that McCain was responsible for a 1967 fire on an aircraft carrier,
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uh, called USS forestry, uh, that killed 134, 134 sailors. That's just not true. Uh, this was a lie
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perpetuated in 2008 and then, uh, regurgitated by this random blog in 2017 by pro Trump, crazy people,
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uh, investigators found that the fire was an accident and that the men on board weren't equipped to deal
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with it. Uh, McCain was on board and he actually helped save people's lives. Uh, you can go on to
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snopes.com, which is a fact checking site for this information. Uh, McCain has been awarded with all
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kinds of commendations for a service, silver star, bronze star, distinguished flying cross,
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Legion of merit. He was a hero. There is no question about that. There should be no question about that.
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The only reason that people are saying he was a traitor is because they feel that he betrayed
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Donald Trump or, uh, betrayed the Republican party by voting against repealing Obamacare last year.
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That is stupid. Uh, those are stupid reasons to dance on someone's grave, especially someone who
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risked his life for your freedom. And the people who are celebrating McCain's death are evil. In my
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opinion, they are wrong. Uh, they, that they are shameful for doing that. And if there's one thing
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that really bothers me about president Trump, well, there are a few things that I don't like.
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There's one thing that really bothers me and it's his disrespect for John McCain and the antipathy
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that he has stirred up among his supporters towards McCain. Uh, you guys know I voted for the president
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and there are a lot of times that I'm really happy that I did. Uh, but let's just be honest. He has
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the moral, intellectual, and emotional fortitude of a noodle and that's exhibited through his insane
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and flippant comments towards a war hero who had more valor in his pinky finger than Trump probably does
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in his whole body. Um, I'm not saying that McCain was perfect, not personally nor politically,
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but he demonstrated, uh, throughout the majority of his life and his career, unwavering integrity
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and strength of character. Uh, he showed more bravery in his five and a half years as a POW
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than most of us are going to show in our entire lifetime. So shame on people who lay down their
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politics, who can't lay down their politics and conspiracy theories for a day to honor him. Uh,
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you expect that from people on the left. Many of them are generally horrific when it comes to
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respecting human beings on the other side of the political aisle. Uh, there are of course,
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uh, liberals who have celebrated McCain's death just like they did Barbara Bush's death.
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Uh, they say McCain was a, was a warmonger and also should be hated for picking Palin as his running
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mate in 2008, whatever. I anticipated that, but the downright hatred from Trump supporters and people
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on the right is just kind of especially gross to me. Uh, when I posted a picture of McCain on
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Instagram, uh, honoring his life, I sadly had a lot of people comment really disgusting things about him
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and threatened to unfollow me to which I say, and will always say, just go for it. Uh, and just kind
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of as an FYI, if I say something that offends you, unless I realized that, oh wow, I really shouldn't
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have said that, that that was really inappropriate or uncalled for. I mean, I'm probably not going to
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apologize and I'm not going to miss someone who unfollows me for that reason. So if you are so
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bothered by a differing opinion of mine that you can no longer stand to see me on your timeline,
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I am certainly not going to stop you from building your own echo chamber. That's none of my business.
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I just though want to go ahead and take away any feelings of satisfaction. You may be tempted to
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feel by imagining that I've noticed your departure. I will not. Uh, now that said, I love
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you guys. I would not be here without you. You guys give me the ability to have this podcast and
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have a voice. Uh, you guys know you're my friends and I want your feedback and I value your feedback.
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We talk on email and Instagram message all the time. And if I say something wrong, like I have many
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times in the past, I want to know, and I hope that we can talk through it and work it out. But if I was
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constantly scared of rubbing someone the wrong way, then I wouldn't say anything that would actually
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be a value. And I may actually, because of that, offend you at some point. Um, I will say something
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that you don't agree with. That's totally fine. That's okay. I hope that I've made clear my desire
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for us to get along and be friends, have healthy conversations and love each other. Even when we
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don't see eye to eye, but I do not lose sleep over lost followers. If that were the case, I would
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literally be awake 24 seven. Uh, so that's my take on John McCain. I don't know about his personal
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relationship with Christ. I know he identified as a Christian. So I hope with all my heart that he was
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saved and that he is now with, with Jesus in a place without cancer, without pain, without sorrow,
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and that we who are also Christians will be able to unite with him one day. Um, I cried when I read the
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news, like immediate, real significant tears. Uh, for those of you who have been listening for a while,
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you know, that I cried when Barbara Bush died a lot. Uh, I cry when I even think about Ronald and
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Nancy Reagan dying. I will cry when HW Bush dies and don't even get me started on W Bush. Um, it's
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not because I agree with everything these people ever did. It's because to me, they represent a bygone
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era. I tell my husband this all the time, uh, an era that I myself didn't really get to experience an
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era of American exceptionalism and optimism that I think died a few years after the turn of the
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century. I think the war on terror had something to do with it. Uh, I think the relentless march of
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progressivism and postmodernism had something to do with it. There is a real cynicism towards
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American greatness. Now there's a rejection of patriotism of traditionalism of the family of
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church and religion and morality, basic decency. Uh, they represent what I consider to be the old
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America, the America that was unashamed of being the best country in the world, uh, the strongest
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country in the world. Uh, I can't blame the end of that era on Obama entirely because I think it
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started before him, but he certainly pushed us out of that era. And, um, I think that though Trump is
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trying to bring us back, I think that we've probably passed the point of no return. I really do. I know
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that's kind of sad, but I do. I just don't think it's possible for patriotism at this point to make a
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comeback. I don't think that American exceptionalism, um, is ever going to be promoted the same way that
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it used to. And every time someone like McCain dies, I'm reminded of that. And that is why I cry. I shed
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real tears of sorrow. Uh, it sounds really melodramatic. I know, but I can't help it. Uh, McCain's funeral
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will be this week. And as you guys probably remember a few months ago, his family requested that Trump not
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attend his funeral. Of course, a lot of Trump supporters were up in arms about that saying,
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oh, this is so petty. Why is he bringing hatred towards Trump into his death? Well, that's really
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none of our business. I'm not sure if there is anything petty about deciding who you want at
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your funeral. Um, Obama and W Bush are going to deliver eulogies. Uh, the white house's response
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to McCain's death, in my opinion, hasn't been that much to talk about, even though the media has
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talked about it a lot. Uh, Trump tweeted his respect. I think that's fine. Short and sweet.
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Uh, the white house flag was at half staff over the weekend, but not on Monday, which is kind of
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weird. A lot of people are noting that, uh, but overall Trump has done the right thing. He's been
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respectful. If he had said anything more than what he did, people have would have called him a hypocrite.
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Uh, so I think he's, you know, handling it as best as he could at this point. Uh, which brings me to
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the other part of this. Uh, and that is the left wing media's reaction to McCain's death and how they
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are leveraging this tragedy to attack Trump. Uh, I think this is equally as gross as some people on
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the right accusing McCain of being a traitor because both sides are just using McCain to make
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their own political points rather than just honoring him as the hero that he was. Uh, the same media who
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hated John McCain when he ran against Obama in 08 now love John McCain because he stood up to Trump.
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Uh, they love him because of the last 15 minutes of his political career career, just as some people
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on the right hate him because of the last 15 minutes of his political career. And both sides are stupid
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and completely disingenuous. Um, but now that's the culture that we live in. No one considers your entire
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body of work, uh, what you've actually accomplished, what you've proven yourself to be as a person. People
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only care that right now you are punching at the same people that they're punching. And if you're not,
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if you're not throwing the same punches that they are, well, then you're a bad person. It doesn't
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matter how many times you've agreed. It doesn't matter. Your resume doesn't matter how much you've
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sacrificed for the country. If you don't hate the people that they hate, then you don't deserve any
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respect. It's totally insane. It's illogical. It's entirely emotional and denies any rational
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thinking whatsoever. And both sides this week, especially are guilty of it. Uh, it's really sad.
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People can't even die these days without being politicized. Um, and switching gears here a little
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bit. No one knows that fact better than the family of Molly Tibbetts, uh, the college girl who was
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murdered in Iowa. Uh, police found her body last week. She was killed by, uh, Christian Rivera. I think
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that's how you say his name. Um, who was an illegal immigrant who is an illegal immigrant. Uh, and the
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reaction to this was interesting. Uh, you had some people on the left who immediately were disinterested
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in the story because it no longer fit their narrative. The guy didn't use a gun, so they
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can't harp on gun violence. Uh, then there were some people on the right who only cared about the story
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when they learned the murderer was an illegal immigrant and they made the story only about
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illegal immigration. Uh, the family of Molly Tibbetts has come out and said that, you know, this has
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nothing to do with the legal immigration. And I totally, I understand their position and their desire to say
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that this has to be the most painful moment of their life, uh, to not only have to deal with this
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kind of loss publicly, but also to have to push against a political narrative that they don't agree
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with. But here's my take on this whole thing. No, the story is not about illegal immigration or
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illegal immigrants. Uh, it's not, not all illegal immigrants are murderers. They, uh, are all criminals
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technically since they broke the law by crossing the border illegally, but they aren't all violent.
00:22:56.000
Um, but that said, it would be really stupid for people not to point out the fact that this guy
00:23:01.980
was illegal and as such, he shouldn't have been here. Uh, this isn't an exploitation of Molly's
00:23:08.440
murder. That is a fact of the crime. And if we're not willing to state the facts of the crime,
00:23:13.080
then that indicates that we really don't care about why a crime happened and what we can do to
00:23:17.260
stop it. And the reality is Molly's murder wouldn't have happened if this guy hadn't been here.
00:23:22.860
That's the point in bringing up illegal immigration. Uh, this isn't an indictment
00:23:27.500
on all illegal immigrants, but it does point to a broken system. Uh, but the left won't even let us
00:23:33.320
say that, uh, they confuse conservatives position on purpose. Uh, they say that we are accusing all
00:23:40.900
immigrants, illegal and legal of being violent. No, we're not even accusing all illegal immigrants of
00:23:48.500
being violent. Uh, we are saying that none of the crimes committed by an illegal immigrant would
00:23:53.880
happen if they weren't here in the first place. None of them should have occurred. Um, but instead
00:23:59.440
the left says stupid stuff, like, no, this has to do with toxic masculinity. Uh, this was a guy who
00:24:05.620
was told no by a girl and just couldn't take it. That's what Simone Sanders of CNN said in a tweet last
00:24:10.800
week. And there were several other articles claiming this as well. Uh, I don't even want to
00:24:16.740
dignify that insanity with the response. It's so incredibly dumb. You guys have watched my Prager
00:24:23.960
You video. You guys know how I feel about toxic masculinity. Uh, it is a myth used in an effort
00:24:29.560
to feminize men in the hopes that if men are more feminine, then maybe women, uh, will be more easily
00:24:34.720
able to take power and deconstruct this so-called patriarchy. Uh, proponents of this theory think
00:24:39.800
that men are too aggressive. And if they were less aggressive, we'd have less violence, less
00:24:43.680
inequality, et cetera. No, the truth is there is sin in the human heart and it manifests itself in
00:24:50.560
different ways in all of us. It typically does manifest itself in more violent ways in men than a
00:24:56.760
woman because they are physically stronger and have this thing called testosterone, but demonizing
00:25:01.580
strength and aggression wholesale is not the solution to violence. Honing that strength is
00:25:06.540
building boys into good, strong, respectful, responsible men, uh, teaching all of our kids
00:25:11.220
decency, respect, honesty, love, compassion, sacrifice. It's called morality. Uh, but the
00:25:16.260
left will resist at all costs talk of personal responsibility and right and wrong. If it means that
00:25:23.280
they can promote some stupid feminist theory like toxic masculinity, which by the way, by the way,
00:25:29.660
it's also a way of politicizing tragedy. Uh, they accused conservatives of politicizing tragedy,
00:25:35.340
uh, by talking about illegal immigration. And there are some that did only talk about this case
00:25:41.120
as an opportunity to push talking points. Uh, but there were a lot of us who simply wanted to state
00:25:46.080
the facts of the case while also communicating compassion towards Molly's family. Um, but the left
00:25:52.000
and the media accused conservatives of politicizing it while they talk about things like toxic masculinity
00:25:57.920
being to blame. Give me a break. And their hypocrisy is even further exemplified, I think in their
00:26:05.740
immediate reaction to anything involving guns. Uh, so there was a shooting this weekend in Florida
00:26:11.860
in which two victims plus the shooter himself were killed. Uh, several others were injured. This was at a
00:26:17.300
Madden video game event. I didn't know those things existed. A 24 year old from Baltimore pulled his gun
00:26:23.460
out and started shooting people. Uh, they don't know the motive yet, but of course the first thing
00:26:27.900
that many on the left do is blame the gun without knowing any of the facts. Uh, for them, the facts
00:26:33.300
don't matter because they don't want anyone to have a gun no matter what. So when it comes to, let's get
00:26:39.000
this straight. When it comes to illegal immigrant crime, we're not allowed to point to a criminal's
00:26:44.240
immigration status because that apparently condemns a whole class of people. But when it comes to gun
00:26:49.300
violence, they are allowed to condemn all gun owners and supporters of the second amendment as
00:26:53.780
complicit in mass shootings. Um, that is the hypocrisy that every liberal outlet has shown over the past
00:27:01.460
two weeks. Uh, when it came to covering the Parkland shooting, uh, CNN held a town hall about gun
00:27:07.560
violence, obviously biased towards gun control. Uh, gun owners were demonized as nut jobs. The NRA
00:27:14.380
was and is accused of being on the side of murder, all ignoring that most gun owners are law abiding
00:27:21.060
citizens who just want the right to protect themselves and their families. But there was no
00:27:25.680
town hall on illegal immigration after Molly Tippetts died. Uh, those same media outlets are, are not
00:27:31.820
calling for immigration reform or legislation. They're not calling for advocates of illegal immigration
00:27:37.220
complicit. Um, they're all, but defending this guy. So the leftist media is willing and
00:27:44.360
ready to stand up for illegal immigrants who have no right to be here, quite honestly. And a few of whom
00:27:50.360
commit crimes that shouldn't be happening on our soil, but they will attack citizens exercising their
00:27:55.840
constitutional right to bear arms. Uh, that's where progressivism gets us. That's where
00:28:01.340
intersectionality gets us. Uh, that is social justice. This soft handling and protection of a group that is
00:28:09.060
arbitrarily considered marginalized illegal immigrants and the degradation of a group that is
00:28:14.360
arbitrarily considered privileged American citizens. Um, it is all stupid. Everything
00:28:20.060
is stupid. I think I've said that a million times today and it's sad and it's scary. Sorry to break it
00:28:24.400
to you. Uh, I can't always end on a happy note. That's just the state of the union, uh, this Tuesday
00:28:30.040
afternoon. Okay. So one closing segment, because I told a listener I would. So a few weeks ago, we talked
00:28:36.760
about this myth of self love, uh, how it's just the world's attempt to make narcissism seem virtuous.
00:28:43.420
It's an excuse to be selfish. In my opinion, uh, loving ourselves comes naturally. That doesn't mean
00:28:49.260
that we always think that we're beautiful or important or smart, but it does mean that we
00:28:52.920
naturally take care of and defend ourselves. Uh, we look out for our own best interest naturally,
00:28:59.420
and it actually takes training and discipline, love and self denial to look out for the interest
00:29:04.620
of others. So I reject this push by the mainstream for self love and, uh, instead think that we should
00:29:11.660
be seeking God's love, which leads to a right perspective of ourselves and others. And, uh, I want
00:29:17.440
to dive into that part a little more deeply and just let y'all know a little bit of what I was thinking
00:29:24.200
this weekend and a little bit of kind of what I learned through my own thought processes. Uh, so
00:29:29.800
if you guys watched my Instagram story this weekend, uh, you know that I went on this little rant about
00:29:35.840
feeling blah. I was just feeling down on myself. Uh, to be candid, I had just gotten some criticism
00:29:41.320
from someone and it discouraged me and it put me in this mindset of kind of overanalyzing everything
00:29:48.220
that I was doing. Just like you, probably I have plenty of people that don't like me. And sadly in this
00:29:53.500
industry, especially the people who don't like you, they really would like to see you fail. In my
00:29:58.860
opinion, they make these kind of snap judgments about you based on something someone said or a
00:30:03.720
snippet of something that you said out of context. Uh, they ignore everything else that you've ever
00:30:08.380
done and they label you. Uh, in my opinion, no matter what industry that you're in, this is just a
00:30:14.320
tactic of, of insecure people who, uh, who know that they're incompetent themselves and it makes them
00:30:21.060
feel better to convince themselves that other people in the industry just aren't actually
00:30:24.700
competitors. Nevertheless, though, it does hurt. It always hurts to get, you know, kind of deep
00:30:29.760
criticism. Uh, and there are other things as well that I was feeling kind of feelings of rejection of
00:30:35.460
not being chosen for this or that, not getting the same recognition that someone else got, whatever.
00:30:39.740
And I just found myself in this kind of puddle of self-pity, just feeling badly about myself,
00:30:44.400
questioning everything I'm doing, doubting my purpose, uh, just feeling down on everything,
00:30:48.880
feeling insecure, paranoid, whatever. Um, and I tell you that because I want you to know that even
00:30:54.300
though I talk a lot about finding my identity in Christ, I really struggle with that sometimes.
00:30:59.280
Uh, I'm naturally a pretty confident person. This is a gift that God has given me. Um, I've always
00:31:05.920
been very comfortable with what I'm good at and the things that I'm not good at, but man, there's just
00:31:10.340
some criticism. Everyone I think has this. There's just some criticism that I really take to heart and
00:31:15.760
it's really hard for me to get over and not to obsess over. I don't know what that criticism is
00:31:21.520
for you, but for me, it's when people assume that I, A, haven't worked hard for what I have,
00:31:26.160
or B, that I'm not genuine. Those two things really bother me. They really cut me to the core
00:31:31.840
because of one, how untrue they are. And also two, because of the fact that there's nothing that I can
00:31:38.800
do to prove those things, except for just keeping my head down and continuing to do what I do.
00:31:44.280
Uh, there is no instant gratification in that. Uh, it's literally just kind of like taking a deep
00:31:49.660
breath, shaking it off, trusting God and carrying on. That's really all you can do when people accuse
00:31:56.540
you of those things. Uh, so I don't know what that situation is for you, but more than likely
00:32:01.140
you have had a period in your life where you have just struggled to feel sufficient or right or
00:32:06.460
acceptable. Uh, you've struggled with confidence, self-assurance, and I just want you to know that I get
00:32:12.480
it because I got a lot of messages after the whole self-love episode asking about how to get
00:32:17.640
confidence and things like that. And what I have to do when I'm feeling pitiful, uh, or maybe it's not
00:32:24.280
just a moment, maybe it's, you know, a whole season that I'm feeling pitiful. I have to force myself out
00:32:29.560
of it by remembering what God promises. Um, and what he promises really ultimately is just that he's going
00:32:36.480
to use me for his glory. That's it. He promises that if I follow him, if I obey him, if I walk with
00:32:42.180
him, he's going to use me to advance his kingdom and bring attention to his name. Uh, he doesn't
00:32:47.040
promise that I'm going to be successful. He doesn't promise that I'm going to be famous. He
00:32:51.500
doesn't promise that I'm going to have lots of fans or subscribers or advertisers or accolades.
00:32:56.040
Uh, he doesn't promise me money. He doesn't promise me comfort. He doesn't promise me health.
00:33:00.340
Uh, he promises that he is going to use me for his purposes, whatever that is, uh, to make him more
00:33:05.720
famous. And if I only do that his way, that's really all that matters. The only judgment that
00:33:12.840
I should ever be afraid of is his judgment. And Jesus has already taken that on my behalf.
00:33:18.080
And the only praise that will ever be of consequence is his, uh, so no tweet, no article,
00:33:25.000
no compliment, no criticism, no hate, no love on this earth has any eternal consequence whatsoever.
00:33:30.580
Uh, the only thing that matters is my obedience to Christ. Uh, my willingness to
00:33:35.720
deny myself to take up my cross and follow him. Uh, all I am worried about is using all of the
00:33:41.440
talent that I've been given for his glory. And I have to trust that he's going to take care of the
00:33:45.940
rest of it. I can't plan my entire life or, or weigh, uh, or weigh the opinions of everyone around
00:33:52.700
me. That's, that's way too heavy a load for me to bear. So instead I get to follow Jesus who says
00:34:00.460
that his yoke is easy and his burden is light. Uh, so that's what I offer you instead of self-love
00:34:06.160
when you're feeling down, that's how to feel confident. Uh, the problem with self-love is that
00:34:11.940
sometimes you don't feel like there's anything to love about yourself. So what happens then,
00:34:17.260
uh, what happens when you've convinced yourself that you're worthless, uh, unless you know that
00:34:22.340
your purpose and your worth is in something and someone bigger than yourself, how are you going to
00:34:26.740
crawl out of that rut? So when you look in the mirror and you don't like what you see,
00:34:32.060
who other than the one who created you is going to convince you that you're valuable.
00:34:36.220
Uh, so when you look at your life and all you see is failure, who is going to assure you that as long
00:34:41.440
as you're alive, you have purpose other than the one who actually planned all of your days before any of
00:34:46.960
them came to be, it's not going to be you. Uh, self-love will always fail you because sometimes you
00:34:54.040
don't know how to love yourself. Uh, but God doesn't have that problem. His love is unconditional.
00:34:59.260
It's relentless. He doesn't love you anymore based on what you do or what you haven't done.
00:35:04.140
It's the only thing in this life worth holding onto because it's the only thing that you can
00:35:08.640
actually rely on no matter what. Um, and God is totally unstoppable in his pursuit of his own glory
00:35:15.160
that we, that you and I get to take a part of. Um, remembering that takes a lot of effort though,
00:35:22.060
at least for me, uh, finding your worth in Christ takes a lot of trying. It takes refocusing. It
00:35:29.160
takes deliberate reprioritizing of God's word over the words of other people. It takes choosing to
00:35:34.200
pray when you want to complain. It takes thinking about God's promises when you'd rather just dwell
00:35:38.920
on how unjust your situation is. Uh, it takes preaching the gospel to yourself when honestly,
00:35:45.320
self-pity feels kind of good. Uh, don't get discouraged because you find yourself, uh, sliding into
00:35:51.580
self-doubt and insecurity. Uh, no one said that this is going to be easy. Does self-crucifixion
00:35:56.760
sound fun to you? Does it sound easy? Oh, what about Jesus's life indicates that Christians are going
00:36:03.940
to be comfortable, uh, that will never deal with rejection or injustice? Nothing. The most that we
00:36:09.820
can do, the, the only thing that we can do is to commit to long obedience in the same direction
00:36:15.640
and trust that God is going to take care of us in the end. So that's what I learned, uh, in my little
00:36:22.540
emotional ditch that I was in this weekend. And I hope that it helps you in yours too, if you're in
00:36:28.020
one, or maybe you can just save this for a rainy day. Okay. I love you guys. I will see you on Thursday.