Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 524 ｜ Why Everyone’s Freaking Out (& Why We Don’t Need To) ｜ Guest： David Marvin

00:00:00.000 Hey guys, welcome to Relatable.

00:00:11.340 I have a treat for you today.

00:00:13.420 We are going to talk to my friend, David Marvin.

00:00:15.900 We're going to talk about anxiety, why we are all anxious, what we're anxious about.

00:00:20.480 And we are going to talk about the ways biblically that we can work out of anxiety and stop dwelling

00:00:28.600 on our anxious thoughts because it's really robbing us of the joy that God calls us to.

00:00:35.320 And it is taking us out of this present moment.

00:00:38.200 And that is where God's peace is.

00:00:40.080 And so we're going to talk about all of that.

00:00:42.440 David wrote a book.

00:00:43.100 It's called We're All Freaking Out and Why We Don't Need To.

00:00:46.380 Don't we all want to know why we don't actually need to be freaking out in light of all the

00:00:51.020 crazy stuff that is going on?

00:00:52.960 And so he is going to give us such refreshing truth today.

00:00:56.520 And I'm super excited for you to hear this conversation.

00:00:59.520 Without further ado, here is David Marvin.

00:01:03.620 Thank you so much for joining us.

00:01:05.960 Can you tell everyone who you are and what you do?

00:01:08.320 Yes, man.

00:01:08.980 I'm so pumped to be here.

00:01:09.820 My name is David Marvin.

00:01:11.200 I work at Watermark Community Church to lead the porch, which is a young adult gathering,

00:01:14.880 primarily in Dallas, of a few thousand young adults every Tuesday night.

00:01:17.920 We've got 15 satellite locations throughout nine states in the country and have been there

00:01:23.420 for 12 years, married my wife, Callie, nine years ago.

00:01:27.460 And we have two kids with one on the way.

00:01:30.440 And yeah, I'm so pumped to be here, man.

00:01:32.680 Yeah, I'm so glad to have you.

00:01:34.080 So you have a lot going on.

00:01:35.460 You talk to a lot of young people.

00:01:37.280 One of the things that I'm sure that you hear about a lot is that young people especially,

00:01:42.260 but maybe everyone, feels really overwhelmed in general, but also with everything that's

00:01:46.800 going on in the news, with politics, we're overstimulated because of everything we see on

00:01:51.060 our phones.

00:01:52.140 So we're just anxious.

00:01:54.100 And I'm guessing that's why you wrote the book that you did, correct?

00:01:58.360 That is correct.

00:01:59.460 So, you know, doing ministry, just like doing anything that has a sizable reach or people

00:02:05.560 coming, publishers come, and I'm sure they do all the time with you, and go, hey, would

00:02:09.160 you consider writing something?

00:02:10.420 I never thought, man, I'm going to write a book, or that was just like my life goal to

00:02:14.200 write something.

00:02:15.080 So originally when they reached out, I was like, man, thank you.

00:02:19.140 I'm so honored.

00:02:19.900 I don't know that this is the time or write or whatever.

00:02:24.740 And then they came back and they said, it seems like you're passionate about anxiety.

00:02:28.940 You talk about it a lot at the porch.

00:02:30.680 I'm married to a counselor, so my wife primarily deals with people who battle with anxiety.

00:02:35.800 Would you consider writing something on that?

00:02:38.140 And so that led us to a journey where we just said, man, let's pray about if we could create

00:02:41.620 a resource that would help connect the dots on what God's Word actually says about anxiety

00:02:46.660 and combating it, to be a first line of defense.

00:02:49.480 Because my experience in the church is often when someone struggles with mental health, depression,

00:02:55.880 anxiety, they are quickly pushed to a counselor, medication, psychologist, all of which are

00:03:01.420 great fields, or, you know, I've personally been a defendant from.

00:03:04.800 My wife is, you know, doing that for a living. 1.00

00:03:07.660 So of course I support, but not at the exclusion of what God's Word actually teaches.

00:03:12.640 And further in my experience, one of the reasons why they were so quickly pushed outside of

00:03:16.660 the church to find solutions for anxiety is because I think the average Christian doesn't 1.00

00:03:21.440 actually understand what God says or teaches.

00:03:24.540 It assumes God says, don't be anxious, just pray more, or just have more faith and you won't

00:03:30.220 have anxiety, which is such an unhelpful and oversimplification, I think, of what the Bible actually teaches

00:03:35.780 as it relates to anxiety.

00:03:37.240 So that was how we came up with that and then worked on that resource and came up with we're

00:03:43.260 all freaking out and why we don't need to.

00:03:45.400 And even the title of that has a funny story that is behind because I don't think I ever

00:03:51.700 would have named.

00:03:53.320 Did you name the title of your book?

00:03:55.260 Yes.

00:03:55.760 I think we worked with the same public.

00:03:57.400 Is this Penguin?

00:03:58.160 This is Penguin Random House, an imprint, different imprints.

00:04:01.100 But yes, it started out with one title that was even like in the contract.

00:04:05.900 And then over time, it kind of changed.

00:04:07.720 I think we came up with it together.

00:04:09.360 I remember not liking actually the title that we came up with.

00:04:12.020 And of course, it's grown on me and I couldn't imagine it being anything else.

00:04:14.760 Yes.

00:04:15.260 I never would have landed.

00:04:17.420 So, you know, you know, Jenny Allen.

00:04:19.220 Yes.

00:04:20.040 So Jenny goes to Watermark.

00:04:21.560 And I remember one day I bumped into her and we were talking to church and I was like,

00:04:25.320 I can't think of a title for this book on anxiety.

00:04:27.760 And in typical Jenny fashion, she was like, be at my office today, 2 p.m., we will name

00:04:33.980 your book.

00:04:34.760 I show up at like 1.58 and Jenny's like one of the best authors around.

00:04:39.620 I mean, she's amazing.

00:04:40.520 She's an incredible leader.

00:04:41.320 If Gathering is huge.

00:04:42.120 There's just so much to celebrate what God is doing through her.

00:04:44.540 And I'm assuming, you know, this could be like five minutes or I'm just honored to even

00:04:48.420 get to be here.

00:04:49.720 Somebody walks out.

00:04:50.680 I ring the doorbell at her office and somebody leads me back to this room and it's her entire

00:04:55.880 team sitting in this room and they're all these just incredible women leaders. 1.00

00:05:00.400 It was like walking into a den of lionesses.

00:05:02.880 And Jenny says, sit down, start talking.

00:05:05.800 And five minutes into the conversation, she flips through in the manuscript something that

00:05:10.180 said, we're all freaking out.

00:05:11.260 And she goes, ha, that is your book title.

00:05:14.480 And I had all these ideas like, you know, anxious, no more or battling anxiety.

00:05:18.920 All of which she was like, ugh, ugh, ugh. 0.99

00:05:20.620 You need to say it like people feel it.

00:05:22.020 It almost sounds kind of clinical, but yeah.

00:05:24.320 And so she was like, that's how people say it.

00:05:27.140 That's how people feel it.

00:05:28.080 Yeah, that's really good.

00:05:29.320 And so, yeah, pitched it to the publisher and they loved it.

00:05:33.580 And so we're all freaking out why we don't need to, which again is connecting the dots,

00:05:38.780 not as a last line of defense or to dismiss all the different helpful resources that God

00:05:44.120 has given us through psychology and counseling, but as a first line of defense on what the Bible

00:05:49.000 teaches.

00:05:49.300 Yeah.

00:05:50.000 So before we get to the why we don't need to part, why in your estimation are we all

00:05:55.380 freaking out?

00:05:56.520 I think especially for so younger, and I know you talk about this a lot, the younger generation,

00:06:01.720 Gen Z, millennials, young adults, are estimates put in between two and three times more likely

00:06:07.500 to have anxiety disorders, depressive disorders.

00:06:10.520 And I think there's a lot of contributing factors behind that.

00:06:12.820 One is the stage of life that they're in between 18 to 30 is, especially post-college, one where

00:06:21.360 for the first time, the train tracks of life have kind of run out.

00:06:25.620 In other words, prior to that, everything is pretty mapped out for you, like first grade,

00:06:29.900 then you go to second grade, third grade, junior high, then you go to high school, then you

00:06:34.400 go to college, freshman year.

00:06:35.540 And it's like at the end of senior year or your second senior year, the tracks run out

00:06:41.340 and you're in this free fall of going, where am I going to live?

00:06:44.340 What am I supposed to do?

00:06:45.100 What am I supposed to do for a living?

00:06:46.520 Am I going to marry this person?

00:06:47.980 Should I not marry this person while I ever get married?

00:06:50.240 How am I going to afford to pay off student loans?

00:06:51.580 It's all of these uncertainties arise.

00:06:53.420 And I think you add with that, the average age of marriage, because loneliness has a

00:06:58.340 relationship to anxiety and mental health and those feelings that we feel.

00:07:02.060 The average age of marriage has so moved up from, you know, 1980 was 24 and 23 was the

00:07:09.360 average age people got married.

00:07:10.460 Today it's 30 and some estimates put it even closer to 31 and 29.

00:07:14.440 So you're walking through this really uncertain stage of life and you're doing it for most people

00:07:19.520 alone.

00:07:20.020 And then as you know, the digital connections that we have feed a lot of that anxiety and

00:07:26.280 the superficial relationships that we have don't help prevent that anxiety.

00:07:32.160 So I think all the comparison, you know, Instagram, one person on my team said, it's like a living

00:07:37.040 to-do list when I go on there of all the things that I'm confronted with.

00:07:41.360 Oh man, I see somebody getting engaged to do, find a date to find someone.

00:07:46.900 Yeah.

00:07:47.000 Uh, I see somebody's car that they're driving to do, make more money.

00:07:50.520 I see the vacation that they have.

00:07:51.800 I'm bombarded with all these things and not just social media, but we're so connected.

00:07:56.820 When Pearl Harbor happened, you think about our grandparents hearing that on the radio

00:08:01.060 or reading it in the newspaper, maybe a week later.

00:08:04.020 And today, if there's a terrorist attack in Sweden, you know, you can get a news alert

00:08:08.240 that bombards you immediately.

00:08:09.420 So we're so connected to both all the traumatic things that are going on.

00:08:13.720 And I think a lot of the digital connections that we have are promoting or producing anxiety.

00:08:19.320 And the fact that we don't have authentic, real, deep relationships are not preventing

00:08:24.840 anxiety.

00:08:25.860 So we live in this tension where we're constantly in a world that is producing anxiety and we're

00:08:30.960 not having authentic or leveraging things that will prevent anxiety.

00:08:36.020 So I think that's, that's a short, and there's a lot more that goes into that, but I think

00:08:39.720 that's at least a real snapshot of what's contributing to it.

00:08:45.800 Something that we talk about on this show in a, in a lighthearted way, but maybe it seriously

00:08:49.980 connects with what you're talking about is something that I call, and I think is maybe

00:08:55.620 officially called millennial errand paralysis.

00:08:59.020 So this is anxiety surrounding doing really menial tasks that should not elicit any anxiety.

00:09:08.420 So like sending stuff back, say you order something from Amazon and you don't want to

00:09:13.260 send it back or you got something from the store that doesn't fit and you have to return

00:09:16.900 it.

00:09:17.180 You don't do that.

00:09:18.460 Calls on your phone when someone is calling you, the anxiety that comes from that, checking

00:09:22.020 your voicemails, answering text messages, going to the post office, all of these little

00:09:28.260 things that really should just be such easy tasks that we take care of.

00:09:32.820 I've talked to a lot of people, not just millennials, but mostly people our age who just have this

00:09:39.140 long list of little things that they've never been able to get to because for some reason

00:09:44.700 when it comes to that list, we just freeze up.

00:09:47.760 And I don't, I, you know, I haven't totally psychoanalyzed this.

00:09:52.160 I think it has something to do with the oversimulation that you're talking about, but what's your analysis

00:09:56.700 of that?

00:09:57.200 Yeah, I think that, um, we, uh, do where there's so much comparison and we can get so

00:10:02.640 trapped in thinking small things are such a big deal in life.

00:10:06.860 Or if I'm not where I, you know, see everybody else in life at in terms of success, in terms

00:10:12.900 of, of whatever, fill in the blank, then I think I can get overwhelmed by that.

00:10:17.140 And then to your point, we are so overstimulated and bombarded and, you know, studies even show

00:10:23.460 turning off your phone for an extended period of time, it leads to physical symptoms of anxiety

00:10:30.020 being reduced and stress and blood pressure.

00:10:32.980 And so this, you know, um, a friend of mine, uh, created a book that, um, Jefferson Bethke

00:10:40.480 wrote, oh man, it's, uh, related to hurry to hell with the hustle.

00:10:45.840 That's what it is.

00:10:46.820 And he said in there, something that, um, I thought was, it was potentially true.

00:10:52.080 Maybe even we're all seeing it and living in denial of it, where he said it was a day

00:10:56.300 and age when cigarettes were encouraged by doctors or certainly tolerated by society.

00:11:02.800 And then 50 years later, people were like, oh, that was really bad.

00:11:06.840 Like we were killing ourselves.

00:11:09.540 And his proposal or his hypothesis was, I think there's going to come a day, day where

00:11:14.880 we see that the phones that we were all carrying around, weren't killing us like via cancer.

00:11:19.000 They were just killing our sense of peace, our ability to engage with people, our relational

00:11:24.340 depth with other people.

00:11:25.600 So I think all of that, to your point, is contributing to a paralysis and just heightened

00:11:30.600 levels of anxiety.

00:11:31.980 Yeah.

00:11:32.300 I think it also shows us just how finite we are and how finite we are meant to be because

00:11:38.140 I heard a pastor a while ago, I don't even remember when it was, talking about how our

00:11:42.400 phones give us this sense of omniscience and omnipresence.

00:11:45.580 What you were saying about how long time ago something might happen across the world, you

00:11:49.780 hear about a week later, you never hear about it.

00:11:51.920 You don't even know what really happened across town.

00:11:54.060 You're just focused on what's right in front of you.

00:11:56.020 Well, now we are confronted with all these different issues that are happening globally

00:12:00.000 that we feel like we have to have equal amounts of empathy and care for.

00:12:05.100 And if we don't, then we feel inadequate or we're not virtuous enough and we have to say

00:12:09.140 something about everything.

00:12:10.480 We have to know something about everything.

00:12:12.400 It's making us feel like we're God and we weren't made to be God.

00:12:15.520 But through this little device, we feel like we are taking on God-like characteristics.

00:12:20.920 And I feel like part of our anxiety is that crushing burden of being a God that we just

00:12:26.600 weren't made to be.

00:12:27.760 Do you agree with that?

00:12:28.500 Yes, totally.

00:12:29.300 And it's not even just a God.

00:12:31.560 It also brings up insecurities where there was a time for me to compare my life to you.

00:12:38.640 I actually had to know you.

00:12:40.140 Yeah, that's true.

00:12:40.380 You know, I had to come over to your house.

00:12:41.640 I had to like see it.

00:12:42.800 And now I can, you know, in my living room, compare my life to people I'll never meet,

00:12:47.700 like a Swedish billionaire can make me feel insecure and can make me feel like I'm inadequate

00:12:54.520 just by looking at, you know, something that he posts.

00:12:57.160 And I'll never even meet this person or some celebrity and the relational drama I can carry

00:13:01.360 on or someone could carry on about.

00:13:04.420 I can't believe that they broke up.

00:13:06.060 And I think all of that is adding, whether it's exposing a weight that we weren't meant

00:13:11.500 to carry and a God-like omniscience that we weren't meant to have.

00:13:16.160 Yeah.

00:13:16.620 It's that feeling of insecurity that human beings, I imagine, have always had, which is

00:13:20.620 why one of the Ten Commandments is do not covet.

00:13:23.360 Like God knows that that steals our joy.

00:13:25.660 And yet it is so much easier now to break that commandment because of our accessibility

00:13:31.980 to those kinds of things.

00:13:33.920 Um, so you've established why we're freaking out.

00:13:38.500 How do we not freak out?

00:13:40.240 Why do we not need to freak out?

00:13:41.800 Because it sure seems like there are plenty of things that are demanding my freaking out.

00:13:46.400 Yeah.

00:13:46.580 I think if you're not a Christian, um, the solutions that I think God has for you will 1.00

00:13:52.840 help.

00:13:53.600 But at the end of the day, they're going to be superficial because they haven't dealt with

00:13:56.460 the ultimate reason, um, that you're on the planet.

00:13:59.080 And honestly, the reason you should be freaking out is as a believer or follower of Jesus,

00:14:04.560 we believe first and foremost, everyone's going to live forever somewhere.

00:14:07.320 And so if you haven't put your faith and a lot of people don't understand what it means

00:14:10.440 to be a Christian, which is why I'm thankful for resources like the one that I'm on right

00:14:13.880 now in your show of clarifying that, that a Christian is just someone who's accepted

00:14:19.100 what Jesus did on the cross, dying for their sin, paying for everything wrong they've

00:14:23.580 ever done or ever will do.

00:14:24.820 And they've accepted that payment for their sin and his resurrection from the dead.

00:14:28.740 And if you haven't had a moment where you did that, um, in the kindest way possible,

00:14:33.840 I would say you kind of should be freaking out because you're going to spend eternity

00:14:36.500 somewhere.

00:14:36.940 Yeah.

00:14:37.160 But maybe for different reasons than Instagram is telling you.

00:14:39.960 Exactly.

00:14:40.420 Yes.

00:14:40.760 You should know that, man, I'm going to give an account for my life.

00:14:43.580 But for Christians, one of the reasons that we don't have to freak out, and this is a

00:14:48.000 short answer.

00:14:49.280 I'll try to give some, uh, short answer ultimately what the book is entirely about is

00:14:54.420 uh, walking through, let me give one example of an area of scripture I think is so misunderstood

00:15:00.660 that is so much more helpful about why and what to do when you find yourself freaking

00:15:05.200 out and is often misapplied or mistaught.

00:15:08.800 In Philippians chapter four, the apostle Paul writes, uh, do not be anxious about anything,

00:15:13.880 but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made

00:15:18.840 known to God.

00:15:19.660 So he says, don't be anxious about anything, pray about everything.

00:15:21.980 And then he says, and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding will guard your

00:15:25.960 hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

00:15:28.020 Now, most people read that verse and they assume Paul is saying something that seems

00:15:32.000 impossible and like he's a superhero that Paul just say, don't be anxious, never worry

00:15:38.920 about stuff, just pray.

00:15:40.860 And if you read it that way, it will seem impossible and it will seem unhelpful and it will be a wrong

00:15:46.800 reading of what Paul's actually saying.

00:15:48.280 And I'll explain why I say that the Greek word that is used all throughout the new Testament

00:15:53.000 for anxiety.

00:15:53.680 And the word that Paul uses in Philippians chapter four is the Greek word merim now.

00:15:58.700 And the Greek word merim now of for not be anxious is a word that was synonymous and is

00:16:03.360 synonymous in Greek language, which is what the Bible was written in the new Testament was

00:16:06.500 with meditation.

00:16:08.220 So Paul is not saying never have an anxious thought.

00:16:10.880 That's impossible.

00:16:12.160 What Paul is saying is when those anxious thoughts come, don't choose proactively or

00:16:19.100 willingly to meditate and dwell on those anxious and fearful thoughts, which I've never met

00:16:24.740 anybody who would say, I disagree with that.

00:16:27.780 Like what helps me in life and what has brought more satisfaction and has changed my life for

00:16:32.520 the better is I decided I'm going to meditate on every fearful, potentially anxious, bad thing

00:16:37.840 that could happen today.

00:16:38.680 And life ever since I started doing that has been amazing.

00:16:41.180 It's been awesome.

00:16:41.660 Yeah.

00:16:41.840 Nobody says that.

00:16:42.780 So no one would disagree with that.

00:16:44.400 And candidly, that's far more helpful, I think, and practical, because if I read it

00:16:48.380 and just go, Paul just said, don't worry, just pray.

00:16:50.380 That doesn't actually get at what the root of what he's saying.

00:16:53.340 He's saying, no, don't meditate on those, which is why in that same chapter, the next

00:16:57.280 verse, Paul says, finally, whatever's true, noble, lovely, worthy of praise, think about

00:17:03.240 these things.

00:17:03.740 So Paul's saying, don't meditate on these, bring those things to God and choose to meditate

00:17:08.660 on these things, what's true, what's behind that.

00:17:11.580 And so that's one example, I think, of a way that the Bible is way more practical and way

00:17:15.520 more helpful, because I can choose not to proactively decide to dwell on anxious, fearful

00:17:20.540 thoughts.

00:17:21.040 Yeah.

00:17:21.280 And I can't choose to dwell on what is true.

00:17:23.460 Yeah.

00:17:24.260 Wow.

00:17:24.600 What do you think the church has done well when it comes to helping Christians deal with 1.00

00:17:31.440 anxiety, and especially young people?

00:17:34.260 And maybe you touched on this at the beginning, but maybe expound upon it.

00:17:37.940 And what do you think has maybe been unhelpful or misunderstood about anxiety from Christian

00:17:44.700 leaders?

00:17:44.980 Is it that aspect that you were talking about that maybe some Christian leaders have said,

00:17:48.680 well, you shouldn't even think about medication.

00:17:50.840 You shouldn't think about therapy.

00:17:52.760 If you're worried, then it's just because you're not reading the Bible enough.

00:17:56.480 So what have been the goods and the bads there?

00:17:59.060 You know, I can only speak from my own experience in terms of church world, the last church or

00:18:04.040 the last 12 years working on staff.

00:18:06.220 I think the gift of community and the gift of small groups, we call them community groups,

00:18:10.180 but just having people in your life that are basically a support group and basically the

00:18:16.280 people that walk alongside you in the highs and lows of life that provide a space, and

00:18:21.860 hopefully your church has this, for you to have relationships where you can open up and

00:18:25.820 you can talk with people.

00:18:27.240 You know, you don't have to even be a Christian.

00:18:29.620 Psychology would support that just by talking about what you're feeling, your anxious thoughts,

00:18:34.960 your levels of anxiety are reduced.

00:18:38.000 And so I think as Christians, we're commanded to open up our lives to other people.

00:18:41.800 And I think that's a real benefit and real gift.

00:18:44.380 What I think the church has done a poor job of is not, for whatever reason, it's made

00:18:50.840 anxiety seem like, man, if you struggle with anxiety and there are so many factors that

00:18:57.520 influence if a person's going to struggle or their likelihood to struggle with anxiety

00:19:02.200 more than another.

00:19:03.580 And we have made it seem like if you struggle with anxiety, you're living in sin or you should

00:19:08.660 carry some sort of shame with that, rather than embracing, I battle against anxiety and

00:19:15.080 coming along and helping them walk through and chase down the roots of that anxious thought.

00:19:21.560 Like, I don't love them all.

00:19:24.240 Do you like them all?

00:19:26.160 Maybe in like, maybe like 2002, Allie.

00:19:29.120 Maybe I liked them all back in like, you know, when I was, I don't know, how old was I?

00:19:33.360 Like 10 in 2002.

00:19:35.360 That was probably cool.

00:19:36.900 You could go to Claire's, get your ears pierced.

00:19:39.600 If you were like 13, your mom would drop you off with your friends.

00:19:42.480 And that was awesome.

00:19:43.840 But you know, I haven't been to a mall in a long time, I have to say.

00:19:47.020 How about that?

00:19:47.360 Yeah.

00:19:47.820 Man, that's unusual.

00:19:48.700 Yeah.

00:19:49.260 So I, like you, hate going to, well, I don't know if you hate going to the mall.

00:19:53.380 I don't go to the mall as often as I can, or I try to never go to the mall.

00:19:57.320 But when inevitably, you know, Apple produces some product I quote unquote need or something

00:20:03.140 breaks on my phone, I have to go to the mall to go to the Apple store.

00:20:06.400 And every time that I go there, I don't, because I never go to the mall, I never know where

00:20:11.320 the Apple store is.

00:20:12.120 So I park on the wrong side of the mall and I walk in and I'm like, where is the Apple

00:20:16.840 store?

00:20:17.040 Even though you've been there several times, it's like every time you go, you can't remember.

00:20:21.180 Yes, exactly.

00:20:21.820 Or they're moving the store around or something.

00:20:23.960 That's probably what it is.

00:20:25.320 It's a conspiracy against you.

00:20:26.920 They're moving the Apple store every time David Marvin shows up at the mall.

00:20:29.940 We're going to find whoever's behind this conspiracy.

00:20:31.720 So anyways, I go in and I look for the last physical map in society, which is that big,

00:20:37.080 like it's, it's like a, you know, one foot wide, eight feet tall physical map.

00:20:43.080 And I look for two things on it.

00:20:44.620 I look for where is the Apple store and which is where I want to go.

00:20:49.720 And then I look for something that without it, I can't get to where I want to go.

00:20:53.540 And that's the little star that says you are here.

00:20:55.640 In other words, if I don't know where I am, I can't get to where I want to go.

00:21:00.000 It's not helpful to know that's where the Apple store is.

00:21:02.420 If I don't know where I am.

00:21:03.940 And I think on anxiety, in order for you to get to where you want to go, you've got to

00:21:07.860 embrace where I am.

00:21:09.140 In order for me to live a life that's not crippled or not enabled to deal with anxiety, I've got

00:21:15.060 to first embrace.

00:21:16.100 Man, I'm crippled with anxiety about my singleness.

00:21:18.620 I'm crippled with anxiety about my kids' health.

00:21:20.920 I'm crippled with anxiety about being able to pay off loans.

00:21:23.400 And I think for whatever reason, we don't encourage people to say, hey, and you can

00:21:26.480 say that.

00:21:27.320 You can say, I really struggle with that.

00:21:29.000 It's in fact, the first step towards not struggling with it is embracing it.

00:21:33.040 And people feel like they need to pretend they don't or deny those thoughts or try to dismiss

00:21:37.820 those thoughts.

00:21:38.800 But I think what the brilliant teaching of Jesus in Matthew chapter six, one of the things

00:21:43.880 that he leads us to is establishing and kind of chasing down, what am I anxious about?

00:21:49.560 And why am I anxious about it?

00:21:51.780 Or what's fueling and what's underneath those anxious feelings and thoughts?

00:21:55.120 Yeah.

00:21:55.460 And I don't think the church has done a good enough job of encouraging or facilitating.

00:21:59.700 And that may not apply to every church of every person that's listening.

00:22:03.080 Yeah.

00:22:03.220 You want to go to a great church.

00:22:04.320 But of encouraging that conversation to really help people.

00:22:07.280 Yeah.

00:22:07.520 Why do you think it is that, and I won't speak for other people, but for me, sometimes, even

00:22:12.640 though I don't want to be anxious, or I say that I don't want to be anxious, I actually

00:22:16.460 find myself hanging on to fearful thoughts and not even wanting to let them go.

00:22:21.580 So I know when an anxious thought starts, it typically happens with, it starts with a what

00:22:27.360 if, what if this happens to my kids or to me or to our situation, whatever it is.

00:22:33.060 And then I know, like, there's a point where I can say, don't keep going, because there's

00:22:38.740 no point in continuing this.

00:22:40.960 But I do.

00:22:41.620 And there's almost this sick satisfaction that you get out of saying, well, let's just

00:22:45.640 play out the worst case scenario and dwell on it for a little bit.

00:22:49.100 Why do we do that?

00:22:50.240 We know it's just going to, you know, tear us up inside.

00:22:53.140 We're not going to be able to fall asleep.

00:22:54.400 We don't feel good about it.

00:22:55.320 And nothing's been solved.

00:22:56.620 Why do you think we hang on to that?

00:22:58.400 I think, okay, I'm going to say something that is going to be really unconventional.

00:23:01.480 And it may or may not.

00:23:06.260 I'd love to hear your thoughts.

00:23:07.540 Okay.

00:23:07.880 I think you should chase down and play it out.

00:23:11.180 But I don't think you should stop there.

00:23:13.260 And here's what I mean by that.

00:23:14.440 I think the what if question, because that's really what anxiety and fear is built off of.

00:23:18.320 It's that those two words, what if blank?

00:23:21.640 What if I lose my job?

00:23:23.200 What if my wife dies of cancer?

00:23:24.580 What if our kids, you know, something happens?

00:23:27.060 What if I am single forever?

00:23:28.700 What if I whatever?

00:23:29.480 And so often people are like, good for you.

00:23:33.360 I think it sounds like you take the next step and you answer that and you play it out.

00:23:37.480 And yet I think there's even one additional part of that equation in playing it out that

00:23:42.460 people should add that I found really personally helpful in my own life.

00:23:45.920 Because anxiety plagues off of this kind of vague feeling of fear that, oh, no, what if

00:23:49.700 my wife did die of cancer?

00:23:51.060 And I just want to think about that.

00:23:52.920 You know, that's not productive.

00:23:53.820 And I think and I learned this in counseling, that there is a freedom that comes by playing

00:24:01.300 it out and then adding to the end of that equation.

00:24:04.500 But God would.

00:24:06.240 So what if my wife dies of cancer?

00:24:08.080 Which would be candidly the most extreme, terrible.

00:24:11.400 That's the worst thing I could think of.

00:24:12.640 Yeah.

00:24:12.800 And I'm left to raise three babies on my own.

00:24:17.260 What if?

00:24:18.460 And I answer the what if.

00:24:21.340 And I walk through.

00:24:23.400 That would be the hardest season of my life.

00:24:26.520 That would be probably the most pain I'll ever experience or could even imagine experiencing.

00:24:32.700 That would not be what I want.

00:24:34.160 I just answer those what ifs.

00:24:35.380 And at the end of that, I don't forget to reinforce, but God would.

00:24:41.040 So but God would meet me there.

00:24:43.820 God would carry me through that.

00:24:45.960 He promises that he's near to the brokenhearted.

00:24:47.940 God has promised this life is a vapor.

00:24:50.320 And so as hard and as almost impossible as it is for me to imagine how painful that would

00:24:55.740 be, there's going to come a moment where I look back for all of eternity and this life

00:24:59.340 that seemed so full of pain.

00:25:01.420 I'm in infinite joy with him forever.

00:25:05.800 And as hard as that would be, God would meet me through there.

00:25:08.540 And I would encourage somebody to walk through that.

00:25:10.380 You know, I work with young adults.

00:25:11.980 And so dating and relationships and singleness is a real fear.

00:25:15.340 And one of the biggest fears is what if I'm single forever?

00:25:18.740 And in talking with people, I would encourage them answer it.

00:25:22.180 And it's only by answering it and by facing it that you can fight it.

00:25:26.600 And you can also reinforce it with God's word.

00:25:28.800 What if I'm single for forever?

00:25:31.100 That would not be what I wanted.

00:25:33.320 That would not be what I hoped.

00:25:36.160 Then I would be sad.

00:25:37.700 Like answer however you would answer it.

00:25:39.360 Yeah.

00:25:39.540 And then bring about what's true, whatever's noble, all that stuff Paul commands and reinforce

00:25:43.520 from God's word.

00:25:44.500 But God has promised life is found in him.

00:25:47.420 It's not found in a spouse.

00:25:48.820 God has promised that he still wants to use and has a purpose and a will for my life.

00:25:54.220 God would give me strength and would use all the hard things that I walk through to bring

00:25:58.240 about good.

00:25:59.540 And so I know that sounds unconventional, but I think it's in Matthew chapter six.

00:26:05.380 And I don't want to go too long if you want to go somewhere else.

00:26:07.760 No, it's fine.

00:26:08.500 Jesus asked what I think is so profound.

00:26:11.640 And he's talking about anxiety.

00:26:13.060 It's in the Sermon on the Mount.

00:26:13.960 And he's teaching a lot of topics and he brings up anxiety and he brings up what his audience

00:26:20.240 worried about where he brings up food and clothing because that was real.

00:26:24.000 You know, you didn't have a target and there wasn't, you know, Uber eats food was there

00:26:28.740 wasn't refrigeration.

00:26:29.900 I mean, those are real fears.

00:26:30.920 And he brings it up and he would bring up whatever you're anxious about or I'm anxious

00:26:34.840 about and because it still applies and what he walks them through.

00:26:37.540 And he says, do not be anxious about what you will eat or what you will drink or what

00:26:41.900 you will wear.

00:26:43.220 And the profound question that he gives is, isn't life more than food and the body more

00:26:49.560 than clothes?

00:26:50.740 And the reason I think that's profound and if you almost, it wasn't until I really stopped

00:26:55.700 to like think about why would Jesus ask that question?

00:26:59.780 Well, he's God.

00:27:00.680 So it's not that he doesn't know the answer.

00:27:02.240 He's not like, hey, guys, I'm really trying to figure this out.

00:27:04.800 Is life food?

00:27:05.880 Is the epitome of life food?

00:27:07.120 Anybody know?

00:27:08.380 It's because he is attempting to put into a bigger perspective their fears.

00:27:14.580 His audience would have, of course, gone, no, life is not food.

00:27:17.980 Or at the end of the day, that's not all that matters in life.

00:27:19.960 Life is more than just food.

00:27:21.860 And he's trying to, through questions, really do what counselors do today, help them deflate

00:27:26.360 some of the power of their anxiety to more accurately see it.

00:27:29.800 Doesn't make the fear go away, but at least allows you to more accurately see it in order

00:27:34.840 to then face it.

00:27:35.480 And then Jesus does what I'm kind of saying of like, what if, and helping them play it

00:27:40.000 out.

00:27:41.060 Like life is so much more than that, right?

00:27:43.300 And then he brings up the truth from God's word where next he goes, you have a heavenly

00:27:48.060 father.

00:27:48.480 Remember, who's promised to provide for your needs.

00:27:51.160 Not all of your wants.

00:27:52.140 He has promised to provide for your needs.

00:27:54.120 So he helps them more accurately see the thing that they're afraid of.

00:27:58.440 And then he reinforces, hey, the pagans run after those things, but you have a heavenly

00:28:02.260 father who's promised to provide for your needs.

00:28:04.760 You can trust him.

00:28:06.220 And he really walks through that equation, which is where I really take it from.

00:28:10.740 Yeah.

00:28:10.860 And so if somebody's battling anxiety, I think chasing it down, chasing those fears down

00:28:16.260 and also holding onto what's true from God's word really has brought a lot of freedom and

00:28:20.680 help in my own life as it relates to that.

00:28:22.380 I think that a lot of us want the promise that our fears won't come true, that you won't

00:28:30.620 be single forever, that your spouse won't die, that nothing will happen to your kids,

00:28:34.800 that you won't get sick.

00:28:35.940 That's certainly the assurance that I find myself wanting, especially when it comes to

00:28:39.940 my kids.

00:28:40.400 I mean, as a mom, like that's where my biggest fears and biggest concerns lie.

00:28:45.720 What is the future going to be like for them?

00:28:47.560 Are they going to stay healthy and safe in all of these different things?

00:28:51.260 And, you know, there are some things that we hear, some more helpful than others.

00:28:55.860 Like, well, you know, God loves your kids more than you do, which is absolutely true.

00:28:59.800 But then I think because I, you know, I can be so addicted to anxiety.

00:29:03.220 I'm like, well, yeah, God does love my kids more than I do.

00:29:06.960 He created them.

00:29:07.920 He died for them.

00:29:08.560 I know all of that.

00:29:09.560 But also I know that God would allow things to happen to my kids that I wouldn't if I

00:29:15.500 had the choice.

00:29:16.020 Like he might allow them to get cancer.

00:29:18.220 I would not.

00:29:18.960 If I had the choice, I would not.

00:29:20.700 But he will.

00:29:22.040 And so I have to remember myself that his faithfulness and goodness is not dependent

00:29:26.940 upon whether or not he allows a certain circumstance or his love for my kids isn't dependent upon

00:29:33.060 what he allows, but it's dependent upon his character, which doesn't change and his commitment

00:29:38.420 to his glory, which might mean that bad things happen.

00:29:41.900 But like you said, you don't end there.

00:29:44.480 You say, but God, but God is going to meet us there.

00:29:47.100 But God is still going to be faithful.

00:29:48.760 But God isn't going to change in that circumstance, even if I don't know what to do.

00:29:52.460 Somehow the peace that passes understanding will meet me.

00:29:57.340 And so like you were saying earlier, without the gospel, like there really is no next step

00:30:04.180 after we take our what ifs to their logical conclusion.

00:30:08.060 Because if the end of it is, well, yeah, you know what?

00:30:11.220 My kid could get cancer. 0.98

00:30:13.180 That really sucks. 0.95

00:30:13.920 And there's nothing I can do about that, which it does. 0.99

00:30:16.200 It does.

00:30:16.900 Like, and that what if does suck, but there's nothing after that for comfort, for peace, 0.98

00:30:22.280 then that sucks a lot more. 0.98

00:30:24.120 Yes. 0.96

00:30:24.920 In fact, what you just brought up, I think is a really, Jesus in the next verse in that

00:30:31.840 passage.

00:30:32.280 So he walks through, don't be anxious.

00:30:34.000 Isn't life more than that?

00:30:35.280 And the body more than clothes.

00:30:36.240 And then he uses illustrations where he's like, look at the birds of the air.

00:30:39.900 Look at the flowers of the field.

00:30:41.600 God cares for them.

00:30:42.420 Don't you think he'll care for you?

00:30:43.360 And then he brings up what I think is one of the most misunderstood verses as it relates

00:30:46.580 to anxiety out there, period.

00:30:48.300 He says, seek first.

00:30:50.860 So then he transitions the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will 0.94

00:30:55.000 be added to you.

00:30:55.760 Yeah.

00:30:56.200 And then he says, don't worry about tomorrow.

00:30:57.600 Each day has trouble of its own.

00:30:58.540 So that idea of seek first, it's the same Greek word for prioritize and the word for

00:31:03.240 kingdom, he just brought up or God's will.

00:31:06.280 He just brought up God's will as it relates to prayer 20 verses earlier.

00:31:10.860 So Jesus says, prioritize God's will and God's kingdom for your life above your own.

00:31:19.320 Surrender your kingdom, in other words, and put on the, let there be no competition for 0.89

00:31:23.140 my life, God's agenda, God's will.

00:31:25.640 That is the priority.

00:31:26.700 That is the kingdom.

00:31:27.560 And that's the one that's going to sit on the throne and take precedent over my own.

00:31:33.180 And the reason I think that's so relevant and important is most of all of our anxieties

00:31:37.080 deal with our kingdom, my own kingdom.

00:31:40.000 And by that, I just mean my desires, my wills, my wants, your desires for your kids, for your

00:31:43.960 life, for your wants.

00:31:44.920 They don't deal with God's kingdom.

00:31:46.560 And in life, the will of God unfolds in two ways.

00:31:52.360 As Christians, we know there's the Bible.

00:31:54.280 That's kind of like the revealed will of God.

00:31:56.340 And we can read it and go like, oh, this is what God wants for marriage, you know, sexuality,

00:32:00.680 parenting, money.

00:32:01.640 Then there's the unrevealed will of God.

00:32:03.600 That can, that's basically God's sovereignty unfolding in our life.

00:32:08.340 And what Jesus says, the reason I think it's so profound is he basically says, hey, if you

00:32:12.660 can learn to surrender your will, your kingdom, and embrace God's, even when it contradicts

00:32:19.500 your own, you will experience peace.

00:32:22.220 Because you getting everything you want in life is not possible.

00:32:27.240 And like you said, we kind of want the promise that like, everything's going to be okay.

00:32:31.100 And everything's always going to go the way that I want, which is crazy.

00:32:33.880 Because if you've lived five minutes, you know, not everything will always go the way

00:32:37.560 that I want.

00:32:38.300 So getting everything that I want is not possible.

00:32:41.840 But peace is.

00:32:43.560 So I can either not have everything always go the way that I want and have anxiety because

00:32:50.480 I don't surrender it and I hold it tightly and I clench onto it, or I can not have everything

00:32:53.920 that I want and have peace.

00:32:56.880 Having everything I want is not an option, but peace is.

00:33:00.600 And I think Jesus brilliantly brings back, like I said, in 20 verses before Matthew chapter

00:33:06.140 six, he uses the same word of kingdom and will, where he says, this is how you should

00:33:09.680 pray.

00:33:10.000 Your kingdom come, your will be done.

00:33:11.900 And Jesus models, furthermore, what it looks like to embrace or seek God's kingdom first,

00:33:16.000 God's will first.

00:33:16.720 When in the garden in Mark chapter 14, Jesus was faced with overwhelming feelings and he's

00:33:23.240 anxious or he's overwhelmed at the point of grief and sorrow.

00:33:27.860 And he prays a prayer that really reflects, I think, that surrendering your kingdom and

00:33:32.780 seeking God's, where he says, God, please let this cup pass.

00:33:35.160 In other words, I don't want to die.

00:33:36.620 Please let my kids not get sick or something happen to their health.

00:33:40.800 But not my will, but yours be done.

00:33:43.420 And he releases or surrenders that.

00:33:46.100 And I think the more we can get in the habit of, there was a time where our daughter was

00:33:50.780 flagged with a chromosomal disorder when we were pregnant.

00:33:55.300 So we found out we were not, no, 12 weeks pregnant.

00:33:59.260 This was in December.

00:34:01.540 It was a Wednesday night.

00:34:03.220 We were pumped and we got a phone call from the doctor at 930.

00:34:06.680 Which immediately, you know, like doctors don't call at 930 on a Wednesday just to be

00:34:11.500 like, hey, holiday plans.

00:34:12.940 I mean, it's hard to even get in touch with them most of the time.

00:34:15.000 So if they're calling you, it's like, oh.

00:34:16.580 Yes, exactly.

00:34:17.820 And I walk into the room.

00:34:19.420 My wife, she's clearly on the phone, puts it on speaker and is like, hey, it's the doctor

00:34:22.440 about the baby.

00:34:23.420 And the doctor.

00:34:23.580 So y'all had just had like the blood test that you do around 10 weeks.

00:34:27.020 How long had it been between that test and when the doctor called?

00:34:30.560 Uh, I guess it was like a week.

00:34:32.740 Okay.

00:34:33.100 Maybe, maybe two weeks.

00:34:34.160 So y'all were kind of waiting on the gender and things like that?

00:34:37.260 Exactly.

00:34:37.720 Okay.

00:34:38.000 Like waiting.

00:34:38.700 Hey, we're pumped.

00:34:39.560 And you normally get an envelope and you go put it in a cupcake or whatever, the color,

00:34:43.620 you know, gender stuff.

00:34:45.060 And she says, hey, I wanted you to know you're having a daughter.

00:34:49.700 And the reason we know you're having a daughter is because she's been flagged for a chromosomal 0.98

00:34:53.320 disorder that is unique to girls.

00:34:56.080 And if she has it, there's a 99% chance that she will die.

00:34:59.900 Before she gets out of the room.

00:35:02.000 And if she's in the 1% that makes it, then she will have severe complications with her 0.93

00:35:07.760 health.

00:35:08.400 She'll have to have immediate heart surgery or heart transplant. 1.00

00:35:11.220 And she'll never be able to have kids, be able to have kids and have complications for 0.99

00:35:15.880 the rest of her life.

00:35:16.740 Wow.

00:35:17.440 And it was like, honestly, I get emotional to talk about it because it was like a bomb went

00:35:22.020 off.

00:35:22.380 You're like, that, that those scenes in movies when a bomb goes off and all you hear is the

00:35:26.860 ringing and things feel like they're speed up and slow down at the same time.

00:35:29.940 Yeah.

00:35:30.680 And, uh, and that put us on a journey of praying every day.

00:35:35.280 God, we don't want our daughter to die for the next six months.

00:35:38.240 God, will you please let her daughter live? 0.67

00:35:39.640 Will you please let her daughter live?

00:35:40.800 And it was in that season, you know, I wish I, as a pastor could say every moment of that

00:35:48.420 season of, of some of the highest levels of anxiety I've ever felt was one that, you know,

00:35:52.580 we surrendered and gave him to God and had peace.

00:35:54.740 And I can't, uh, with integrity.

00:35:57.040 But what I can say is every moment I had peace was every moment that I had peace.

00:36:04.660 In other words, was marked by a posture of God.

00:36:06.780 We don't want our daughter to die, but if that's your will, and I can't understand how

00:36:11.480 that would be your will and how that could be something that is a part of your plan.

00:36:15.280 But if that's your will, we trust you or we're trying to trust you.

00:36:18.560 We help us trust you.

00:36:20.060 And every moment that was the posture of our heart, there was a peace that I can't put into

00:36:24.660 words that I experienced what Paul was describing.

00:36:27.660 And it's not like you're going, or we were going to thwart the will of God either way.

00:36:32.400 And so freaking out wasn't helpful.

00:36:34.800 It's natural and normal, but in those moments of surrendering it, we experienced peace.

00:36:39.220 And then six months later, either miraculously or, or there was a false flagging and she was

00:36:44.660 healthy, but that doesn't always happen.

00:36:46.640 And sometimes the flagging is accurate or sometimes the miracle doesn't happen.

00:36:51.060 And that's going to happen in life.

00:36:53.500 So she didn't have that disorder and y'all didn't find out until she was born?

00:36:58.540 We couldn't without, there's a test, you may know it better than I would.

00:37:02.060 There's a test they can do with a needle that increases the risk of...

00:37:05.620 Yeah, or they test the amniotic fluid or something like that.

00:37:08.640 Yeah.

00:37:08.860 Maybe.

00:37:09.320 Yeah.

00:37:09.620 It was something that would increase the rate of miscarriage.

00:37:14.980 And so we didn't want to do that.

00:37:17.200 Yeah.

00:37:17.440 And, um, and so, and they couldn't test until she was out of the womb. 1.00

00:37:22.160 And, uh, and so every day though, we were in, the more we went through it and the more

00:37:26.980 we saw that we're getting closer.

00:37:28.480 That's a long time to have those fears and to feel the unknown.

00:37:31.880 Yes.

00:37:32.220 And, uh, and I think God, I taught on this subject so many times before, but in that

00:37:38.480 season, God was at least growing in my heart and my faith, um, my confidence in him and

00:37:44.460 putting into practice the things that I had taught on somebody.

00:37:47.700 It just becomes so much more real when you're like, God, man, we don't want our daughter

00:37:51.940 to die, but we trust you.

00:37:54.000 And your will comes before my will, your kingdom before my kingdom. 0.93

00:37:57.280 And I can't understand how that would be the case.

00:37:59.520 But if that's true, we trust you.

00:38:01.980 And so I think, uh, even the, the word of control, cause it feels so hard to give up

00:38:07.640 control is improperly used a lot of times.

00:38:13.780 And that we talk about it as though it's something we have.

00:38:17.920 People say, I struggle with control.

00:38:19.360 I've said, I struggle with control.

00:38:20.560 And the reason that's a, I think not a great way to put it is it's like saying I struggle

00:38:27.160 with x-ray vision.

00:38:28.840 You know, my kids will be like, and my son will push over his sister and he'll go like,

00:38:32.680 dad, I'm sorry.

00:38:33.420 I struggle with Hulk strength.

00:38:34.780 Yeah.

00:38:35.140 It's like, no, no, you don't.

00:38:36.620 You've never had Hulk strength.

00:38:37.880 You'll never have Hulk strength.

00:38:39.100 Or me saying, I struggle with x-ray vision.

00:38:40.860 No, you don't.

00:38:41.900 You've never had it and you never will.

00:38:43.880 Yeah.

00:38:44.180 And control is one of those things where even we say, I struggle with control.

00:38:46.840 It's like, no, you struggle with not having control.

00:38:49.380 Yeah.

00:38:49.720 You've never had it.

00:38:50.700 You want it.

00:38:51.500 You want it.

00:38:52.320 Yeah.

00:38:52.480 But you'll never have it.

00:38:54.260 And so having control is not an option, but peace is because you know the God who does

00:38:58.660 have control.

00:38:59.440 Yeah.

00:39:00.060 So that was by far the most real experience of that in our life.

00:39:04.160 And so what you're saying is the surrender was a continual thing that it didn't just

00:39:14.180 say, okay, I surrendered this morning.

00:39:15.840 I'm good for the day.

00:39:16.980 Or even I surrendered for this minute and I'm good for the minute that it sometimes it had

00:39:21.420 to be a continual Holy Spirit empowered choice to say, I'm feeling anxious.

00:39:26.720 I've got to surrender.

00:39:27.780 It wasn't a one and done deal.

00:39:29.060 Yes.

00:39:30.120 And which is why Jesus is teaching, I think is so brilliant because in the passage, you

00:39:34.660 know, we're talking about Matthew six and surrendering and seeking God's kingdom.

00:39:37.760 The next verse he goes to is take each day, moment by moment, day by day, you're going

00:39:44.780 to continue to have to do this.

00:39:46.360 Yeah.

00:39:46.660 And it doesn't just go away.

00:39:48.200 Yeah.

00:39:48.420 And it is a ongoing moment by moment surrender.

00:39:51.700 Anxiety will be with us the rest of our life and to go through and take each day and surrender

00:39:57.220 moment by moment is really the way that we battle it because it isn't just like, oh,

00:40:01.640 I surrendered my kids to you.

00:40:02.900 Yeah.

00:40:03.340 We go through life and then boom, I'm anxious again about those feelings.

00:40:07.160 Yeah.

00:40:07.360 But each time they happen, I can choose to surrender your will, your kingdom before my

00:40:11.500 own.

00:40:11.900 Yeah.

00:40:12.120 And he is not saying that if you don't have anxiety or you're not worried about something,

00:40:18.440 then you're not going to have any trouble because he says sufficient for the day is its

00:40:22.620 own trouble.

00:40:23.340 He's saying, look, you got trouble.

00:40:25.140 Like I get it.

00:40:25.840 You have trouble, you have problems, but you can only deal with what you can deal with today.

00:40:31.080 You can't deal with the trouble that may or may not happen tomorrow.

00:40:34.220 And I think one of the most comforting things that he also says in that chapter is who of

00:40:39.520 you by worrying can add a single hour to his life.

00:40:42.820 That is super convicting because if I'm honest with myself, that is kind of what I think that

00:40:48.380 I'm doing when I'm thinking through these what if scenarios.

00:40:51.860 I actually think that I'm, and maybe it is somewhat preparation, like you were saying,

00:40:56.580 playing out those, you know, logical conclusions of my anxieties.

00:41:01.820 But I almost think that if I worry about something or if I think about something as terrible as

00:41:07.780 cancer, then somehow it's not going to happen because I don't know, that's so superstitious 0.93

00:41:13.420 and silly. 0.81

00:41:14.040 But I do think that we almost think that we are giving control to ourselves by thinking 0.90

00:41:18.820 of all of these things that could happen.

00:41:21.620 Somehow we are diminishing the possibility of them happening.

00:41:25.000 And Jesus is like, you can't even add a single hour.

00:41:28.160 Not one hour is added to your life by worrying, which tells us, you know, God is the author

00:41:34.900 of our beginning and end.

00:41:36.360 So what's the point?

00:41:37.560 What's the point of even trying to add minutes to our lives, to our kids' lives, even a minute

00:41:42.280 to our careers, whatever it is, if we just don't even have the authority to do that in

00:41:48.120 the first place?

00:41:49.100 Yes.

00:41:49.360 In fact, the irony of the brilliance of that statement to your point is, you know, now

00:41:53.900 medicine and medical fields tell us worrying doesn't add to your life.

00:41:57.400 If anything, it takes away.

00:41:59.580 Like Charles Mayo from the Mayo Clinic wrote about, I've never seen somebody die from symptoms

00:42:05.580 related to overwork, but I've seen many people die from symptoms related to anxiety.

00:42:10.560 It affects your adrenal glands, it affects your heart rate, it affects all those things.

00:42:14.400 And so it is brilliant that Jesus is just pointing out, let's at least all agree, worrying

00:42:19.460 is not beneficial to anything in the future.

00:42:23.120 It just robs you of your ability to be present to, you know, in this moment here.

00:42:27.720 So I think, yeah, you're spot on in that idea.

00:42:30.840 Yeah.

00:42:31.640 Wow.

00:42:32.340 All right.

00:42:33.200 I think that we have to end there, although I could talk for a lot longer about this.

00:42:37.580 If people want to know more, if they want to hear more from you, or if they want to

00:42:42.440 read your book, which I certainly encourage everyone to do, where can they buy it?

00:42:47.400 Anywhere books are sold, Amazon, Barnes and Noble.

00:42:50.040 Do you buy books anywhere but Amazon?

00:42:53.880 Oh, I really want to say that I purchase books from like the local indie bookstore, but I

00:43:00.040 don't.

00:43:00.860 Yes, I, Jeff Bezos, you know, lines his pockets with all of my book purchases from Amazon.

00:43:07.980 It's just the easiest thing to do.

00:43:09.760 I totally agree.

00:43:10.480 But there's a niche.

00:43:11.400 I've said that before.

00:43:12.120 I was like, does anybody buy books other than that?

00:43:13.960 And I've heard from so many people are like, yes, I want the physical copy that moment that

00:43:17.880 day.

00:43:18.500 So if that's you, you can get a Barnes and Noble or wherever books are sold.

00:43:21.840 I bet it's on christianbooks.com too, which is maybe a good alternative.

00:43:25.840 Yes.

00:43:26.320 That's a better alternative, christianbooks.com.

00:43:29.000 And then if you want to know more about The Porch, you can go to the porch.live if you

00:43:32.880 are in any of the 15 cities, whether that's Phoenix, Arizona, or Tulsa, Oklahoma, or Boise,

00:43:39.420 Idaho, or any, you can go to the porch.live and find locations near you, or if you're in

00:43:42.700 Dallas, come see us on a Tuesday.

00:43:44.020 But Allie, so fun to be here.

00:43:45.500 Thank you for having me.

00:43:46.120 Thank you so much for coming on.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - November 16, 2021

Ep 524 ｜ Why Everyone’s Freaking Out (& Why We Don’t Need To) ｜ Guest： David Marvin

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