Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 63 ｜ Very Important Episode

00:00:00.000 Hey guys, welcome to the podcast. This is Relatable and I am Allie Stuckey. In case you

00:00:05.200 didn't hear that, I think my voice just cracked at the very beginning of this podcast. If you've

00:00:10.680 never listened to me before, you might think that that's a regular thing, but I assure you

00:00:14.460 it is not. Hopefully my voice doesn't crack for the rest of this podcast because it is a very

00:00:19.840 important episode. I have told you guys on social media that this is a monumental episode of

00:00:26.940 Relatable and that you guys do not want to miss it. I am going to tell you something extremely,

00:00:32.640 extremely, extremely important. I don't know what else to describe it as. It's just very important.

00:00:40.340 And I am going to dive into that for the rest of the episode. But first I'm going to tell you

00:00:45.360 what pillow I sleep on. That's a bolster sleep pillow. It's an awesome pillow. It's so comfortable.

00:00:50.260 My husband has one because he kept on stealing mine because it's so comfortable. I only have to sleep

00:00:55.000 on it. No more of stacking a million pillows so you have the right feeling. This is a perfect

00:01:00.140 pillow so that you don't have any cricks in your neck and you can sleep soundly all through the

00:01:03.680 night. It's made from this material called tin cell that keeps the pillow cool so you don't have

00:01:08.120 to flip over to get the cool side of the pillow. Your pillow will stay cool all night, which is

00:01:12.740 great. You should go to bolstersleep.com. You can use promo code Allie. You'll get 10% off your pillow.

00:01:19.720 It's a great Christmas present if you're looking for some last minute Christmas gifts,

00:01:23.260 either for someone else or yourself. Definitely go to bolstersleep.com. Use promo code Allie to 1.00

00:01:29.000 get you that discount. Okay, guys. So the reason why this episode is so very important and the reason

00:01:34.180 why I was so awkward starting this episode off is because it's really weird for me to say what I am

00:01:39.680 going to say. So a lot of you guys have been asking me ever since I kind of started this thing.

00:01:45.760 Every time I post a picture of my husband, people ask me, Allie, when are you guys going to have

00:01:52.260 kids? And really, I don't like that question because quite frankly, it's none of anyone's

00:01:57.000 business except for ours. But the announcement that I have today is that we are expecting a baby

00:02:03.480 and I'm officially in my second trimester. I am due in June and we are so excited. I really can't

00:02:11.400 believe it. I'm still trying to wrap my mind around the fact that we are having a baby, but

00:02:16.460 we are so, so thankful to the Lord for blessing us with this. And I just could not be more excited.

00:02:25.720 So what I'm going to do in this podcast is I'm going to talk about five things that I've learned

00:02:31.420 or five things that I realized as I'm just a few months into this pregnancy. I am not going to be

00:02:36.620 giving any kind of parenting advice because I am not, even though I guess I'm technically a parent,

00:02:41.780 I don't have any parenting advice. And there are a lot of moms out there I know that listen to me

00:02:46.700 who know a lot more about parenting than I do that can give me some great advice along the way.

00:02:52.320 That's not the advice that I'm giving you. I am giving some encouragement and things that I have

00:02:57.460 learned already just as a very fresh, very new, very inexperienced mom. And of course,

00:03:04.900 in this podcast, this is what we do a lot. We root things back into scripture and that is what I am

00:03:10.420 going to do. I'm going to root these five lessons or five realizations that I have

00:03:14.920 into scripture. And this is going to be a podcast that is relevant to you, whether you are single,

00:03:21.300 you're in high school, or you're in college, or you're dating someone, maybe you're married and

00:03:26.120 you're trying to get pregnant or you're not ready for kids yet. Maybe you're a young mom, 0.91

00:03:29.720 or maybe you're someone who has never had kids, who wants to have kids, hasn't been able to have kids,

00:03:35.380 and you are struggling with that. I want you to know that this podcast is for you.

00:03:39.900 This is not going to be exclusively just about what it's like to be pregnant. It's going to be

00:03:45.800 talking about life in general and the making of life and the importance of life and the importance

00:03:53.220 that you have as a human being, whether you are a mother or not. So no matter what stage of life

00:03:57.860 you are in, also, you could be a guy and also find encouragement in this podcast too. It's not just

00:04:02.700 for mothers or potential mothers. I hope that you find encouragement in this podcast as we kind of

00:04:08.400 go through some of the truths that I have recognized in this short period of time that I have been

00:04:14.540 pregnant. So number one, that I know for sure, these are the things that I know for sure that

00:04:21.420 have been backed up not only by my own experience now, but also what I know through the Bible and

00:04:27.880 what I know from other people. Number one, this is a human being. It is a human being. I know that

00:04:33.660 for sure. For sure from my own life and from what I have seen in my doctor's appointments,

00:04:40.080 this is a human being. If you have ever doubted that what is growing inside a woman when she was

00:04:45.320 pregnant is a human being, you should see a sonogram. This is not a clump of cells. This is not a parasite.

00:04:51.640 This is not a random mass that might coincidentally grow into a human one day. This is a human being.

00:04:57.800 So I didn't realize everything that happens during pregnancy. I guess I was just kind of

00:05:03.680 ignorant. Quite honestly, I just didn't really know how life was formed and how it grew in all

00:05:10.640 of the different stages of pregnancy and the stages of embryonic growth. I just didn't know because it

00:05:15.900 wasn't exactly relevant to me. I knew enough in order to make a scientific and logical argument to

00:05:21.240 be pro-life. But there are so many intricacies to how life is actually formed in the womb

00:05:25.960 that I was unaware of. So when I went to my first appointment at about eight weeks,

00:05:31.980 you see the baby that's inside you. Of course, there's all this fear and there are all these

00:05:36.020 nerves, at least there were for me, that is it really in there? I mean, I know I had a positive

00:05:40.060 pregnancy test, but am I really pregnant? I don't know unless I actually see it. And then you see

00:05:45.700 this tiny little thing that honestly looks like a bean. It doesn't even look like anything. It just

00:05:51.580 looks like a little bean inside you. But this is the thing that just blows your mind. You see this

00:05:57.600 little moving circle. It kind of looks like inside that little jelly bean that's inside of you. And

00:06:04.140 that is the heart. And you see this heartbeat at only seven and a half, eight weeks. It actually

00:06:09.060 started beating long before that. Maybe even at four to six weeks, the heart started beating. But you

00:06:14.360 see this little beating heartbeat. They can measure the heartbeat. They can measure this tiny little

00:06:18.500 jelly bean that's inside you. And you realize this is a human being at just eight weeks. Most people

00:06:25.020 have abortions after eight weeks or at eight weeks. But this is a human being. It has a heartbeat.

00:06:30.260 And from the time of conception, it had its own DNA. It was its own person. It was already a boy or a

00:06:36.360 girl that had already been decided, even though we don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet. It had a

00:06:40.760 heartbeat. And then four weeks later, you have your 12-week appointment. Sometimes women have 1.00

00:06:45.380 sonograms. Sometimes they don't. But I had a sonogram at my 12-week appointment. And what you

00:06:51.700 see at your 12-week appointment is incredible. You went from seeing this jelly bean looking thing that

00:06:58.120 just kind of looks like a little, I don't know, thing inside you with a heartbeat to seeing a human

00:07:03.800 being. At my sonogram appointment, I saw a human being with a head and, of course, the heart. And you

00:07:10.340 see the brain inside of him. I say him. I don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet. Has arms and legs

00:07:15.460 and fingers and toes. And I just burst into tears at my 12-week appointment seeing this child that

00:07:21.500 actually looks like a child now with a profile. You see the teeth, the nose, everything moving

00:07:26.460 around. The first time I saw my child move, I could cry right now, but I won't. It is like no experience

00:07:33.220 you have ever had before. Knowing that you had a part in making this thing that is its own

00:07:39.620 independent person and is now moving around, that is amazing. It was just this spontaneous reaction

00:07:47.200 that all of a sudden I just burst into tears seeing that this is not just a human being, which,

00:07:54.140 of course, I knew it was from the moment that I found out I was pregnant. From the moment of

00:07:58.620 conception, it's a human being. We know that scientifically. But seeing it actually look

00:08:03.460 like a human being, that is a startling experience. And, of course, you guys know that I am

00:08:09.020 adamantly pro-life. I was pro-life long before I was ever pregnant, long before I was ever married.

00:08:14.300 And I've talked thoroughly with you guys about the arguments for being pro-life, not just from a

00:08:18.780 biblical perspective. Some people think it's only a religious argument. It's not. But from a moral and

00:08:24.260 a logical and a scientific perspective, why abortion is wrong, why it's murder, why life inside the womb

00:08:30.040 is truly life and has value and worth in and of itself. But there is nothing like seeing life that

00:08:36.700 you helped create on the sonogram screen actually move and be. It is amazing. It's amazing what you see.

00:08:47.880 It's given me a completely, I guess I would just say refreshed. And I don't want to say

00:08:53.800 a stronger conviction about being pro-life because I can't really, I can't say that

00:09:01.320 because it's just as strong as it was before. It's just a different perspective. And I'm grateful

00:09:06.720 to be able to have experienced that. And, of course, from a biblical perspective,

00:09:10.800 there is no moral argument whatsoever for abortion because even though I didn't think that this looked

00:09:17.020 like a real-life human being until 12 weeks, even though I couldn't see this child move, I couldn't

00:09:22.400 see its face. God made this child's DNA and crafted this child specially even before I knew I was

00:09:31.440 pregnant. Psalm 139, as you guys know, talks about God forming children inside the womb and they have

00:09:38.200 value and worth inside the womb. Psalm 139 says,

00:09:42.360 That's the reality of pregnancy. That's the reality of God creating every single human

00:10:12.340 being. When a woman finds out that she's pregnant, when that HCG hormone that's there when you are

00:10:19.520 pregnant is found, it makes the positive pregnancy test. That is not saying that a woman might be 0.99

00:10:26.120 pregnant with human life. It's not saying that a woman might be having a baby inside of her. It's

00:10:30.680 saying that she is creating a human life right then, right there, whether you find out at four weeks,

00:10:36.140 whether you find out at 12 weeks, that is a baby, that is a human life that's being created. HCG is

00:10:41.880 not present when you just have some kind of mass inside of you, when you have some kind of parasite

00:10:46.820 that some people on the left say inside of you. That is an indication of human life. There is no chance

00:10:52.960 unless there is a miscarriage, of course, which is tragic, or something happens to the baby along the way in

00:10:59.900 which they're harmed or in which they actually died. There is no chance that that little fertilized

00:11:06.480 egg turns into anything else other than a fully formed human baby. It's not going to turn into a

00:11:11.440 Tervis tumbler. It's not going to turn into a pumpkin. It is always a human baby. It doesn't turn,

00:11:16.840 or I shouldn't even say turn into. It's not turns into a human baby. It comes out a fully formed human

00:11:22.380 baby. Its embryonic stage just happens to be an early stage of human life. So what I know for sure,

00:11:28.480 based not just on the Bible, but on my own experience and on logic and on science, is that

00:11:32.840 everything, every single stage that I've experienced so far with this child has been a

00:11:38.820 stage of human life. This is a human being. The second thing that I know for sure is that children

00:11:43.840 are a blessing. So that means that they're not an inconvenience. They're not a burden. They are not

00:11:49.860 a hassle. They are a blessing. Unfortunately, there is this lie that people believe both in and outside of

00:11:57.320 the church. Of course, it's very prevalent in this whole postmodern feminist world that we live in, 0.97

00:12:02.480 that children are an impediment to your success, that they're an impediment to your fulfillment.

00:12:06.840 But unfortunately, it's kind of seeped into Christianity as well. And just to be perfectly 0.98

00:12:10.960 honest with you, it's something that I used to think. At one point in our marriage, when I was just

00:12:18.480 focused on building my career, and of course, we were moving different places, my thought was that

00:12:23.700 children will be a burden to me or that they will be an obstacle to me achieving what I want to

00:12:29.580 achieve, to me fulfilling what I want to fulfill. I had this checklist of all of the things that I

00:12:35.900 wanted to do that we wanted to do before I had kids. That's a sinful way to think. And it's honestly

00:12:41.800 difficult for me to admit that because I know a lot of people that think this way. But if you're a

00:12:47.200 Christian, that's just not biblical. It's a cultural way to think. It's a worldly way to think,

00:12:51.860 because what you're saying is that children are not a gift. And the Bible is very clear that they

00:12:56.260 are. Psalm 127, three through five says, Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord. The fruit

00:13:01.380 of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. 0.96

00:13:06.520 Blessed is the man who fills his quiver with them. He shall not be put to shame when he speaks with his

00:13:12.180 enemies in the gate. So throughout the Bible, we see that children are good, that they're not a burden,

00:13:17.260 that they're not something that we should be scared of, that we should resist. Of course,

00:13:22.900 when we are in a covenant relationship of marriage, they are not something that we should dread. They're

00:13:28.920 not something that we should see as taking away from, but something that is added to as a gracious

00:13:34.940 gift of the Lord. Now, there is contention over this, of course, when it comes to the question of

00:13:40.860 birth control, the natural question when you say, okay, if children are a gift, if children are not a

00:13:45.600 burden, and if the Bible says that the children are a blessing from the Lord that should be asked for

00:13:50.660 and should be, that we should be grateful for, the question is, is birth control allowed? Is birth

00:13:57.420 control within the realm of God's larger will? And I think that's a very difficult question that I

00:14:06.040 don't know every single theological answer to. Now, I do know that any kind of birth control, and there

00:14:11.680 are people that know a lot more about the science behind birth control than I do, but any kind of

00:14:15.640 birth control pill that actually causes an abortion, so after conception makes the uterus 0.53

00:14:20.500 unlivable or makes it hostile towards growing life, that would mean that it's causing an abortion. That

00:14:27.040 is sinful. That is wrong. That would not be a part of God's will. And I've heard, again, I don't know

00:14:33.420 for sure, but I've heard that pretty much every birth control pill does that, that it creates an

00:14:38.380 environment that is hostile towards a fertilized egg so that it doesn't actually grow. And if you

00:14:44.100 believe that life starts at conception, that would be considered some kind of abortion. Now, if there

00:14:49.180 was a birth control that actually prevented fertilization, that's where it gets, that's

00:14:54.200 where really the moral question comes in. Is that part of, would that still be considered trusting

00:15:01.040 the Lord? Or should you not have any birth control whatsoever? Or should you just say, okay, I'm just

00:15:05.560 going to trust God with this. And whenever we get pregnant, we get pregnant. Sure, we might be poor. 0.99

00:15:09.980 We might both be in school, but God's going to take care of it. And that's the question that I'm

00:15:14.980 not, I'm just not totally sure about because I see both sides of the argument. On the one hand,

00:15:21.240 yes, of course, we should trust God. And God knows our situation. He knows our financial situation.

00:15:26.240 He knows that we're both in school, but we're trusting him. And this, and I'm not saying this is what we

00:15:31.960 did. But now I'm looking back and I'm learning and I'm just asking these honest questions.

00:15:37.600 Is that the right mentality or is the mentality, okay, well, certain kinds of birth control

00:15:42.340 is a gift of common grace. It is a development of technology. And we should take advantage of those

00:15:49.280 things with wisdom, by using prudence, by saying, okay, we are completely financially destitute right

00:15:55.240 now. We have no business trying to raise a child. So we are going to use wisdom and to put that off

00:16:01.460 until we're a little bit more stable. I could see, I could see both ways, but of course, the second

00:16:07.820 option that I just listed, it gets a little muddy because what actually is stability? Are you waiting

00:16:12.500 until you make, you know, $50,000 or are you waiting until you make $100,000? Are you waiting until

00:16:17.960 you have some kind of job or are you waiting until you become CEO? When does it start to become selfish?

00:16:23.960 I'm not, I'm not sure. So I guess in all of these things where I say, I know for sure, these are the

00:16:29.260 five things I know for sure, but a subset of the second point that children are not a burden.

00:16:33.560 I don't know fully the theological answer for not having any birth control whatsoever, because I do

00:16:40.720 think wisdom should be involved in that. But what I do know, what I do know for sure as someone who

00:16:47.340 has probably had a sinful mentality at one point in my pregnancy, who has probably unknowingly had a

00:16:52.920 selfish mentality about having children, especially when we were moving a lot and we were trying to

00:16:57.340 figure out our careers. I do know that children are not a burden and that we shouldn't view them

00:17:02.540 as that and that we shouldn't purposely put children off simply because we want to check

00:17:07.880 all of our boxes and check everything off of the list. I do think that's the wrong mentality to have

00:17:12.540 where birth control falls into that outside of the whole abortive birth control issue. It's,

00:17:18.580 it's a hard question that I am still trying to figure out for myself. If you have insight and

00:17:23.440 discernment into that, I would love to hear it. So number three, the thing that I know, our child

00:17:28.840 is not ours. And this is literally something that I heard and had not thought about until I was

00:17:35.500 pregnant, that my child is not mine, that it is God's, that it might have, it might look like me.

00:17:41.360 It might sound like me. Of course, it might look like my husband, sound like my husband. It might

00:17:44.880 be like me. It's going to pick up a lot of the habits and the behaviors that I have, but it is not

00:17:50.140 mine. It is God's. That means that God has a plan for my child's life that really has nothing to do

00:17:56.820 with me. Of course, he or she is ours to steward and ours to take care of, ours to feed, ours to love,

00:18:03.260 ours to point to God. But after I die, hopefully God still has a plan for this child considering or

00:18:10.960 assuming that this child is still alive. God has a plan for my child after I die that has

00:18:16.240 nothing to do with me, has a plan for his or her life that has nothing to do with me. His or her

00:18:22.500 soul is theirs. It's not mine. God has hopefully a plan of salvation for this child, has a purpose

00:18:28.800 for this child. Psalm 139 says that every single one of his or her days was written before any of

00:18:35.280 them came to be. That has nothing to do with me. I didn't write my child's life. I have no idea what

00:18:40.000 they're going to be like. I don't know what struggles they're going to have. I don't know what sins

00:18:43.460 they're going to deal with. I don't know what their salvation story will look like, what their

00:18:46.800 testimony will be like. But God knows every single detail of their life, which means that he is more

00:18:52.020 in control of them than I am. He cares more about them than I do. He loves them more than I do. He

00:18:56.640 has a plan for them that I could never have. And so I pray that my husband and I have that mentality

00:19:02.840 throughout my child's life. And I hope that that helps us be good stewards of this gift and be good

00:19:07.840 parents that really my only role is to care for this child by feeding them, by loving them,

00:19:14.340 by providing for them financially for as long as, you know, is feasible and responsible in pointing

00:19:19.860 them to God. I do not have control over the rest of their life. I don't even have control over their

00:19:24.800 salvation. God has them. This is God's person, not my person. I am just a caretaker of this gift,

00:19:32.740 but ultimately this is God's and his soul, his or her soul is in God's hands, not mine. So that is a

00:19:40.060 reminder that I have to press into my brain because I am naturally a controlling person, an anxious

00:19:46.920 person. I'm an extremely protective person. If you are familiar with the Enneagram, I think I'm an

00:19:53.420 eight. I go back between being an eight and a one. I can't really figure it out. My quiz always changes.

00:19:58.160 Um, but either way, I'm extremely protective of the people around me to the point, to the point

00:20:05.180 simply where if someone hurts someone that I love, I want to pay the person back who hurt someone that

00:20:12.700 I love. I really hate when people mess with my team and mess with my inner circle. I can't even

00:20:18.260 imagine what I'm going to be like with a child. Like I will probably want to be that mom that's at school

00:20:23.420 that is fighting battles for my child. I just hate when people that I love are treated unfairly.

00:20:29.120 But my reminder is that this child is not mine, that God is doing things in this child that have

00:20:34.260 nothing to do with me. And hopefully that reminds me to step back and not, um, over control my child's

00:20:40.680 life. That's going to be something that the Lord sanctifies me and it has to teach me continually.

00:20:44.640 I'm sure. But that's the third thing that I know that this child is not mine. It's not ours.

00:20:50.200 It is God's. Um, number four, and this is one that I want you to hear, especially if you were someone

00:20:56.700 who, uh, maybe pregnancy just isn't in the cards for you right now or ever. And you've struggled

00:21:02.760 through listening to this podcast. I hope that you're still here because this is what I want you

00:21:06.880 to hear that parenthood does not fulfill us. Parenthood, according to the Bible, if you're a

00:21:13.160 Christian, parenthood is not the end all be all. Uh, we have this tendency to, it is kind of paradoxical

00:21:19.700 with the tendency that we also have to believe that parenthood is a burden or that kids are a

00:21:24.900 burden. We also simultaneously believe, uh, ironically really that parenthood is the peak

00:21:29.680 of our fulfillment that after we reach this, uh, certain status in our careers, after we do all

00:21:36.120 the things we want to do, after we've traveled to, uh, all the continents that parenthood will be

00:21:41.880 kind of where it ends and that will be our peak fulfillment. And then we will be finally fully

00:21:47.380 satisfied that we will be fully joyful. That's kind of the exclamation mark at the end of our

00:21:52.480 youth. And that is not true. Children, while they certainly are a blessing, they will disappoint us.

00:21:58.320 They are human beings. They will not bring us all of the happiness and satisfaction that we need.

00:22:02.800 And as Christians, we have to know that only Jesus can do that. Only Jesus can bring us that

00:22:08.500 satisfaction. So if you are someone who doesn't have kids, you don't have to worry about missing out.

00:22:13.300 You are not missing out. No Christian is missing out on anything by not partaking in something

00:22:18.920 worldly, whether it is marriage or whether it is children. Jesus is that satisfaction for you.

00:22:25.320 Um, first Corinthians seven 32 through 35 says, I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried 1.00

00:22:30.480 man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious 0.99

00:22:35.620 about worldly things, how to please his wife and his interests are divided. And the unmarried or 0.95

00:22:40.620 betrothed woman is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to be holy and body and in spirit.

00:22:46.720 But the married woman is anxious about worldly things, how to please her husband. I say this 1.00

00:22:50.680 for your own benefit and not to lay any restraint on you, but to promote good order and to secure

00:22:55.520 your undivided devotion to the Lord. That means it is better spiritually if you can later, or actually,

00:23:02.480 I think it was earlier in this chapter, he talks about, um, if you have self-control,

00:23:06.740 if you can remain, uh, away from sexual immorality, then you should not get married.

00:23:13.000 This is what Paul says. He says that there is no, uh, there's no law against marriage that you're

00:23:18.300 not sinning. If you get married and that of course the Lord would rather you get married than be

00:23:23.080 sexually immoral. But, but if you can remain fully devoted to the Lord and remain away from

00:23:29.160 sexual immorality, then you should stay single. That means that means that our fulfillment does not 0.75

00:23:35.920 come from our spouse. It does not come from our children, but it comes from the Lord. And we

00:23:40.640 should be as undivided in our attention to the Lord and our devotion to the Lord as we can. I say

00:23:45.580 that as a married person. So obviously I'm not condemning married people. I say that as a mother

00:23:50.040 to be, I'm not condemning any mothers. I'm just reading what the Bible says. So if you're unmarried, 0.94

00:23:54.860 if you do not have kids, do not worry that you are not going to, uh, have all of the joy and

00:24:00.700 satisfaction and happiness and love, uh, that people who are married or have kids do, that is

00:24:06.200 not true. That's not what the Bible says. The Lord is, is sufficient for you. His grace is sufficient

00:24:11.300 for you. His joy is sufficient for you. Your purpose, your identity is not wrapped up in being

00:24:16.440 a spouse or a mother. It's just not, there will be people like the, uh, who is it? Who's that crazy

00:24:22.120 blogger? Sorry. If you guys like her, the transformed wife, the transformed wife who really believes

00:24:29.420 conflates your identity and conflates your purpose and your worthiness as a woman with being a wife

00:24:33.820 and a mom. I'm sorry. That's not what the Bible says. Your identity is in Christ, which means it's

00:24:38.960 in something way bigger than being a wife or a mom. Now it's awesome to be in a wife and a mom. I love

00:24:43.940 it. It is a blessing to me, but even if I weren't those things, God would still be blessing me with

00:24:50.580 his son and with the Holy spirit. And he would fulfill me with that completely. Um, so I just want you

00:24:57.840 to, I want you to be encouraged in that. And I also want you to remember that having spiritual

00:25:01.900 children, that means people that the Lord, if the Lord uses you to bring people to Christ,

00:25:06.740 having those quote spiritual children, even though it was really the Lord who did it,

00:25:11.180 having people that you disciple, that you help bring to the Lord through the power of the Holy

00:25:15.320 spirit, that is far more fulfilling, far more eternal than having physical children. So again,

00:25:20.840 I want to remind you, you are not missing out. Number five, and this is the last thing. Um,

00:25:26.680 God is sovereign and that's the thing that underpins everything. So I just want to give

00:25:32.320 a note. And again, I hope these women are listening. And I know this podcast might've 0.99

00:25:35.800 been hard for these women. I just want to give a note to the women who have struggled with

00:25:39.360 infertility. I want to talk to the women who have gone through a miscarriage or maybe went

00:25:45.700 through a stillbirth or who it's just, I don't know, went through something, maybe lost, um,

00:25:51.440 an adoption battle. Maybe you were fostering kids and you wanted to adopt these kids and it just

00:25:56.660 didn't go through. Maybe you've been trying to adopt for a while, but you can't afford it. And

00:26:00.560 you are afraid that you will be parentless or, I mean, that you will be childless, um, and that

00:26:05.920 those kids will be parentless. Maybe that's your fear. And I just want you to know that number one,

00:26:13.820 number one, that God has not forgotten about you, that he sees you, that he's with you,

00:26:18.200 that he has more compassion for you than you could ever imagine that he feels your brokenness

00:26:23.140 and that he empathizes with you. We have a great high priest who empathizes with our weaknesses,

00:26:27.760 not one who is far off, but one who is near to us. He is with the brokenhearted and he binds their

00:26:33.040 wounds. I want you to know that he sees you, that he hears you, that he knows the desires of your heart

00:26:37.620 and he knows your longings. And I know that he's in control and, uh, number two. So that's number

00:26:43.360 one, that God sees you number two, much less important. I see you too. And ever since

00:26:48.180 I found out that I was pregnant, ever since I thought about doing this podcast and ever since

00:26:52.160 I thought about posting on social media, whenever that is, I've thought about the people who follow

00:26:58.100 me, the women, especially, but also the men who follow me, who, um, haven't been able to get

00:27:04.540 pregnant or aren't able to have children themselves. I just want you to know, I'm not going to spend,

00:27:09.080 uh, the next few months rubbing this pregnancy in your face. And I haven't forgotten about you. 0.98

00:27:13.980 And I won't take for granted the blessing that I have of being pregnant. And I just want you to

00:27:18.100 know that you are valued and that you are no less valuable because you don't have children. So,

00:27:23.620 and I, maybe you take that as patronizing. I hope you don't. Maybe you're just thinking,

00:27:28.220 well, you have no idea what I'm going through. I don't, I don't. I just want you to know that I

00:27:32.660 think about you and that I pray for you. And then I know for sure, I know for sure that God is in

00:27:38.360 control. Now, I don't know God's plan for you. I don't know if you'll ever have kids. I don't know

00:27:44.680 how that wound will be healed. Uh, I don't know if you are going to wake up tomorrow and find out

00:27:53.200 that you're pregnant or if you will never find that out. I don't know if you'll be able to adopt.

00:27:57.480 I don't, I don't know those things because he doesn't promise that he doesn't promise that things

00:28:02.580 are going to work out how we want to on this earth. That's not the guarantee that we have.

00:28:09.320 The guarantee that we have is that he's good, that he is in control, that he is with us. And

00:28:17.480 we also have the promise that one day, um, that all of this pain that we feel will be eradicated,

00:28:24.640 that when we are in heaven with our fellow believers, when we are worshiping Christ,

00:28:29.600 that you are not going to be mourning anymore, um, over the miscarriage, over the lost child,

00:28:35.460 over whatever pain you have dealt. And I hope, I hope that that doesn't sound callous in any way.

00:28:42.060 I'm talking to all people who have experienced all kinds of loss, that God makes us whole,

00:28:46.820 that he will heal us, that we will have joy that is completely incomprehensible right now.

00:28:53.700 No matter what you've gone through, I promise that we will not be thinking about how many kids we had

00:28:59.200 or did not have when we are in heaven with Christ. I promise you that. So I just want to,

00:29:04.860 I want to, I want you to know that you're not forgotten, that, uh, you are prayed for,

00:29:11.200 that you are thought about, and that you are certainly not forsaken or abandoned by God,

00:29:15.360 that he had a plan for your life too, before you were born. And this is part of that plan.

00:29:20.280 And he's using this to sanctify you and to bring you closer to him. And I can't tell you,

00:29:24.800 I know all of the reasons why it would be silly for me to say that I do, because I absolutely don't,

00:29:31.180 it doesn't make sense. It doesn't make sense why the 15 year old who, uh, who doesn't want kids,

00:29:36.840 obviously had this unwanted baby and why the woman who was 35, who's been trying to get pregnant for 1.00

00:29:41.840 10 years, can't, it doesn't make any sense. And I'm not saying that it does, but the thing that I

00:29:46.780 know for sure is that God is sovereign and that's really all I know. So these are my five things

00:29:54.100 that I know as you, as you can, as you can tell, even within these five things, I don't know

00:30:01.060 everything. I still have a lot of questions because I am not all knowing and I'm still learning a lot.

00:30:07.020 And I would love to hear your feedback, but I wanted you guys to be the first to know this news.

00:30:11.820 I haven't announced it on social media. This was something special for my podcast listeners. I said it

00:30:16.360 was a very important podcast, the most important podcast that I've ever done. I don't know if it's

00:30:21.120 the most important, maybe. I mean, I think it is because besides coming to know Christ,

00:30:26.120 this is probably the most important thing that has ever happened to me. Also getting married,

00:30:30.020 I would say it's on par with that, but I just wanted to share this with you guys because I

00:30:33.740 really consider you friends and I consider us part of a family. And before I announced this to the

00:30:39.360 world, I wanted you to know, I wanted to have this conversation with you and I wanted to really

00:30:43.540 cover all of my bases before I announced it to everyone. I will announce it on social media soon,

00:30:48.840 but I wanted relatable listeners to be the first to know. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you

00:30:53.300 for your support. I'm excited for us to go along this journey together. I won't be talking about

00:30:57.780 pregnancy nonstop, I promise, but I probably will give updates every now and then. Y'all know that I

00:31:04.420 am a trash person mess and I just, I guarantee that's going to be even worse in pregnancy. I already

00:31:09.840 can't fit anything except for my sweat pants pretty much. So just imagine the trash person

00:31:15.480 that will ensue over the next few months. Get excited for that. Thank you guys for listening.

00:31:20.360 We will be back on Thursday.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - December 18, 2018

Ep 63 ｜ Very Important Episode

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