Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - August 18, 2022


Ep 663 | The Truth About 'Comprehensive Sex Education' | Guest: Monica Cline


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 11 minutes

Words per Minute

176.31139

Word Count

12,573

Sentence Count

822

Misogynist Sentences

29

Hate Speech Sentences

31


Summary

Monica Lial-Klein used to be a family planning educator for Planned Parenthood. She was pro-abortion, pro-promiscuity and pro-every-leftwing talking point about sex and relationships that you can think of. And she went into schools and she educated kids about this. And now God has changed her life and she educates families about how they can disciple their children in what is good and right and true about God's design for gender, for sex, and for the family.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. Happy Thursday. Today we are talking to Monica Klein. She's got
00:00:05.440 an amazing story, an amazing testimony. She used to be a family planning educator for Planned
00:00:13.320 Parenthood. She was pro-abortion, pro-promiscuity, pro-every-left-wing talking point about sex and
00:00:22.180 gender and relationships that you can think of. And she went into schools and she educated kids
00:00:27.960 about this. And now God has changed her life and she educates families about how they can disciple
00:00:36.940 their children in what is good and right and true about God's design for gender, for sex, and for
00:00:44.760 the family. So she is going to tell us what really goes on at Planned Parenthood, the ideology that is
00:00:52.000 driving the so-called comprehensive sex education that we are seeing in schools. And then she is
00:00:58.820 also going to tell us how there is a better way, there's a better design, and there is a better way
00:01:04.340 to teach kids about sex. And that really comes down to a parent's responsibility to know what God says
00:01:11.800 about these things and to teach our kids about it. You are absolutely going to love this conversation.
00:01:16.820 You're going to be encouraged by it and enlightened as well. We'll get straight into it. But first,
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00:01:37.640 Monica, thank you so much for taking the time to join us. Can you tell everyone who may not know
00:01:52.020 who you are and what you do? Oh, sure. Well, my name is Monica Lial-Klein,
00:01:56.120 and I'm the founder of It Takes a Family. It's an organization where I really teach families how
00:02:02.320 to strengthen from within strong moms and dads or all sometimes it might even be a single parent
00:02:08.800 family. I was a single mom for nine years. And so my mission is to strengthen the family,
00:02:16.900 have those parents teaching children God's creation for humanity, their identity,
00:02:22.840 God's purpose for marriage, family and sexual intimacy, and to really strengthen that attachment
00:02:28.880 within the family to protect those children so that they know how to give an answer out in the
00:02:34.040 world. And you used to be a volunteer educator for Planned Parenthood. You were a Title X family
00:02:41.880 planning training manager. You would go into schools, teach what's called comprehensive sex education.
00:02:49.240 Tell us, before you tell us what that was like, how did you get into that realm?
00:02:54.360 Yeah. So that was in the 90s, 1990s. That seems like so long ago now.
00:03:00.460 It was. I mean, I was born in the 90s and I'm 30. So yeah, it's a long time ago now.
00:03:06.320 Well, I was graduating from the University of Texas in Austin, and it was during the, you know,
00:03:12.240 HIV epidemic. And so I wanted to do my part in my 20s to change the world and protect people,
00:03:19.300 especially the marginalized. And I had had people very close to me who had died because of getting
00:03:25.700 HIV and turning into AIDS and they passed on. And so I decided that I was going to volunteer at an
00:03:32.560 HIV organization that was doing prevention education in high risk communities. And as soon as I
00:03:38.840 volunteered and really got into public health education and training, I thought it was really
00:03:43.540 fascinating and I excelled at it and I was quickly hired. And so I became an HIV prevention educator
00:03:52.420 in Austin, Texas. And I, you know, primarily our job was to reach out to people who were living high
00:04:00.020 risk lifestyles, men who have sex with men, as well as women of childbearing age. And, and I,
00:04:06.460 my job was literally to walk the streets 40 hours a week in high risk neighborhoods and talk about HIV
00:04:13.520 hand out condoms and give referrals to Planned Parenthood or to the STD clinic. Or also, you know,
00:04:20.480 once people found out their diagnosis, if they were HIV positive to get them to case management and to
00:04:26.460 healthcare. Okay. And how would you describe your worldview at this point? I know you're a Christian
00:04:33.080 now. Were you a Christian then? You know, I wasn't. I was, I'm Hispanic, I'm Mexican American,
00:04:39.700 and really in my family, we're a very conservative, traditional Mexican American family. And I was
00:04:47.320 baptized as a Catholic. Um, and, but I never attended church. My parents didn't take us to
00:04:53.040 church. Uh, they gave me a big white Bible and said, God exists. Here are the 10 commandments.
00:04:58.540 Uh, there are good rules to live by. And that was pretty much it. Um, I saw my grandma, you know,
00:05:03.920 praying in front of a statue of Jesus, lighting candles. Um, but I didn't really understand who
00:05:09.640 God is or was, and I didn't understand who Jesus was. I just saw really in the Catholic faith,
00:05:16.700 the symbolism. I just saw this man on a crucifix. I didn't, you know, it looks sad to me. So I didn't
00:05:21.760 realize that Jesus was God and that he was strong. Um, and so really, if I had a worldview,
00:05:29.200 it was my own conservative family. And what I mean by conservative is that my parents were each
00:05:34.720 other's best friends. They were with each other all the time. They were very devoted to their
00:05:38.820 children. We were all together all the time. Uh, they were wonderful parents. Um, but I didn't
00:05:45.780 really know what a godly wife or godly husband was supposed to look like. Uh, we never talked about,
00:05:50.880 uh, whether I should date. And if I did, what that would look like. Uh, we never talked about
00:05:56.260 whether if I would get married and if I did, what kind of man I should marry, you know? So we didn't
00:06:02.880 talk about those kinds of things. Um, a lot of it was that we were in poverty. Uh, my dad had cancer
00:06:08.660 and we were, I would say that we were a very strong, loving family, but we were in survival mode.
00:06:15.420 So really talking about the future and, and marriage and things like that, we didn't really
00:06:22.760 talk about those things. Yeah. So by the time I left that little farm town and went to UT Austin,
00:06:28.560 I was very easily molded by the world. Um, and so by the time I started, um, volunteering at this
00:06:36.280 HIV organization, I, I was just really moved by compassion, by love. I wanted to help people. Um,
00:06:45.600 and in this realm of comprehensive sex education or public health education, really the belief is
00:06:51.260 that you accept all things. You don't judge anybody. Um, you just serve everyone equally.
00:06:58.100 Um, and so I was really taught to accept every lifestyle, every behavior, nothing was wrong. Just
00:07:04.720 since we're talking about sex education, I was just taught, just teach them how to do things safer.
00:07:11.560 Yeah. Learn about their sexual behavior and then just teach them how to do it safer and then refer
00:07:16.140 them to testing because inevitably they will get a disease and they'll have to get tested early.
00:07:20.960 in order to treat. Um, so it really wasn't about avoiding risky behavior. It was very much about
00:07:28.920 accepting all behavior and really just kind of giving it a bandaid like here, here's, here's a little bit
00:07:36.400 of a hope, use a condom lubrication, but get tested. Yeah. And when you started working with
00:07:44.040 Planned Parenthood, I've heard you say before that even at Planned Parenthood, you wanted,
00:07:51.480 or you kind of felt the urge to tell the young people that you were mentoring and educating with
00:07:56.680 comprehensive sex education about abstinence and about the importance of not having multiple
00:08:05.440 sexual partners. And yet your hand was kind of slapped and you were told, nope, that's not what we do here.
00:08:11.440 So tell us a little more about that. Yeah. I think the reason I reacted that way is because,
00:08:15.920 you know, the way I was raised, I was always supervised by my parents. Um, it wasn't something
00:08:22.980 that I grew up seeing young children being sexually active. Um, it wasn't an expectation and I didn't
00:08:29.440 see that happening. So when Planned Parenthood and the way I got to Planned Parenthood was through
00:08:35.240 this organization that I was working with, the HIV prevention organization, they said,
00:08:39.460 you need to go to Planned Parenthood so they can teach you how to give this same sex ed message,
00:08:43.600 but to children. And so that's when Planned Parenthood started to mentor me. And they gave
00:08:48.980 me all those case studies of children as girls, as young as 10 coming into the clinic. Um, and it's
00:08:55.020 pretty graphic, Allie. I mean, from not only concerned about being pregnant, getting tested for pregnancy
00:09:01.300 and disease, getting abortions, and even removing, uh, toys from their bodies. Um, I mean, it was
00:09:07.480 really, really horrendous. And to me, uh, when you're saying a 10 year old girl coming in with
00:09:12.560 these, you know, in these scenarios, that sounds like abuse to me. Right. Uh, and so obviously we
00:09:18.440 need to intervene. We need to find out who's abusing her. Is she in a environment where this
00:09:23.740 has become normalized and now she's consenting? Is she being trafficked? Is she being trafficked?
00:09:28.720 You know, so all of that was going through my mind. And immediately, uh, the director of sex
00:09:34.580 education of Planned Parenthood of greater Austin, Texas, in that, you know, at that time,
00:09:39.300 and this is still in the nineties, this is in the nineties. Yeah. She just patted me on the knee and
00:09:43.120 she said, no, honey, this is what they want. And we're not going to teach them not to have sex.
00:09:48.560 We're just going to teach them how to do it safer. And she said, this is what they want. So she
00:09:54.240 wasn't concerned at all about consent or about who might be doing this. She was concerned about
00:10:01.620 consent, but this is how they're concerned about consent, Allie. She's saying these girls are
00:10:08.220 consenting. It's what they want. And this is why it takes such an issue with consent language and
00:10:15.080 consent education because it's been twisted by comprehensive sex education. So they love the
00:10:21.380 word consent. Consenting is I consent to do something. I say yes to something. So what
00:10:26.060 they're really teaching our children when they talk about consent is how do you give a yes?
00:10:31.080 And so in their eyes, multiple times, not just during this time when this, um, director was teaching
00:10:37.240 me, I heard from multiple clinics that these young minor girls who were having sex with adult
00:10:43.240 men were consenting, that it's what they wanted, which is why they would not report it and why they
00:10:50.420 said they were not concerned. Right. Um, and so, and I, yeah, I've said that before, which of course,
00:10:57.200 a lot of progressives get angry at this, that consent is not enough when you're talking about
00:11:01.520 virtue, when you're talking about whether something is right or wrong, the simplicity or the simplistic
00:11:07.400 idea of consent, a yes or a no is not enough. But basically she was saying, yes, it is. If they
00:11:14.320 say yes, it really doesn't matter. The scenario don't ask, don't tell. Right. It was very much a
00:11:19.540 don't ask, don't tell. Um, and so when I later on, when I became a title 10 training manager and I was
00:11:26.980 teaching them about human trafficking and statutory rape and that it was now a federal offense,
00:11:31.260 Planned Parenthood said, um, I told, you know, they, they kept telling me like Monica, they want
00:11:36.840 this. This is what these young girls want. They want to be with adult men. So they didn't care if
00:11:40.360 it was a 30 year old guy raping. Of course, that's the language I would use. They might say having sex
00:11:46.460 with a 10 year old girl. They didn't care. No, they didn't. Uh, this was in Corpus Christi. Uh,
00:11:51.720 it was multiple, uh, Planned Parenthoods from the Southern area of Texas. And they assured me,
00:11:58.100 I was teaching them on a key concept of their grant about human trafficking and that they needed
00:12:03.100 to identify victims of human trafficking so that they could report them. Have my long history with
00:12:08.640 Planned Parenthood at that time. I knew that they were not reporting statutory rape because they were
00:12:12.900 very much believing that these girls were consenting. And so when they pushed back on not
00:12:19.360 wanting to report it, I pushed back as well and said, well, it doesn't matter what your opinion is
00:12:25.180 about whether they're consenting or not. The truth is, is that these girls are minors. You know,
00:12:29.460 they're having sex with adults. You are responsible for reporting it, whether you agree with it or not.
00:12:34.980 And that's when they said, Monica, if we don't ask, we don't have to tell. If I don't ask the age of
00:12:40.200 her partner, I don't have to report it. Yeah. And so they knew what they were doing. They still know
00:12:45.680 what they're doing. And, and it's, and Allie, it's really that their worldview is very distorted. So
00:12:51.800 their, their view of our children, their view of sex is all very distorted. So they feel very
00:12:58.100 justified in what they're doing. They think we're the ones that are being judgmental and they don't
00:13:05.060 see that they're actually enabling the trafficking of young girls. Yeah. And let's back up a little
00:13:10.540 bit. So when you started with Planned Parenthood as a volunteer educator, you first kind of came in
00:13:18.040 and you said, okay, well, great. I'm going to teach these nine and 10 year old girls about
00:13:21.300 abstinence. That's, what's going to protect them. They patted you on the knee and said, no, no,
00:13:25.400 that's not what we're doing. Tell us what it looked like after that you did. You started going into
00:13:30.540 schools and you started teaching what Planned Parenthood wanted you to teach. And what was that
00:13:34.960 exactly? Yeah. I, I believe this educator, you know, this director, and I, I stepped back and I thought,
00:13:42.360 well, the government is funding Planned Parenthood. This woman's obviously a professional.
00:13:46.300 Um, I didn't have, it must be right. So I went ahead and did it. And, um, I think one of the first
00:13:53.800 times that I, uh, taught young girls, and this, this is one that I haven't actually spoken about
00:14:00.500 publicly before. Um, I was with my coworker who was more seasoned than me. And, uh, we had these girls
00:14:10.100 in middle school and, uh, we, we, we didn't actually teach in the school. It was in a separate
00:14:16.080 location. I don't remember if it was a club or not a nightclub, but you know, just a separate
00:14:20.680 building, a separate location. And one of the things that I remember about that particular teaching
00:14:26.600 was the role playing. And so when parents talk about, uh, or people talk about what condom
00:14:32.840 demonstrations really look like, um, and what communication skills looks like. Like if you
00:14:38.720 look at a curriculum, they say, Oh, this is community, you know, we're teaching them healthy
00:14:41.640 relationships and communication skills. This is what it really is. What it is, is when we taught
00:14:46.580 them how to use a condom and this is just all girls, we sexualize it. It has to become eroticized.
00:14:52.780 And so we tell the girls that, um, back then I was telling the girls that many times their
00:14:59.020 sexual partners may, and we always use gender neutral language. So we always said it, your
00:15:03.660 sexual partner, even back then, back then we're using gender neutral language. So we basically
00:15:09.160 said you may have a sexual partner that doesn't want to use a condom. They're going to say it
00:15:13.020 doesn't feel good. They don't want to use it, but you need to convince them to use that, which
00:15:17.660 means that you're going to have to learn how to use this condom, how to put it on yourself
00:15:21.140 and take charge. Um, but you can also make it feel good. And so then we would teach them
00:15:28.040 how to eroticize it, how to put it on in an erotic way, how to make sure it feels good
00:15:32.600 just in putting it on nine, as young as nine year old girls. Yeah, this was middle school
00:15:38.360 and high school.
00:15:50.180 And so I guess the justification that a lot of sex educators give is that, well, they're
00:15:56.280 already doing it. They're already thinking about it. They're already talking about it.
00:16:00.540 We're just teaching them how to do all these things in a safe way, but in your safe, quote
00:16:06.140 unquote. Um, but in your experience, I mean, are nine and 10 year old girls thinking about
00:16:11.940 this already, or are sex educators putting these ideas and these scenarios into their minds?
00:16:18.440 It gets put into their minds. They're not thinking those things already. They really are
00:16:22.420 not. Um, I think especially back then in the nineties before the, you know, what we have
00:16:27.960 now with the internet, um, they really were not thinking those things. These things were
00:16:32.460 all new to them. And I would say that there's still even some girls today where a lot of this
00:16:37.000 is very new to them. Um, you know, the next step after teaching them that was to teach them
00:16:43.360 how to talk about it, how to eroticize it through role playing. Um, if, if the sexual partner
00:16:49.000 gave this reason why he didn't want to use it, how could she in a fun way, you know, you
00:16:55.640 know, respond so that he would want to. Um, and so, and, and then we would make them role
00:17:01.120 play that with each other so that they would practice the language. And so what I tell parents
00:17:05.120 today is listen, this is just, it's not just showing them a condom. It's them actually doing
00:17:11.720 the motions and using it. Uh, and then from there it's doing the role playing. So now they're
00:17:17.340 acting it out. Now they're also speaking it. So this is all just really the grooming process
00:17:22.320 of teaching them how to do this to make sure that when they're in that situation, that's
00:17:27.800 what they've practiced. Well, that's what they're going to do. I mean, you're going to
00:17:31.520 do what you practice. If I invite you to come over with your girlfriend so I can teach you
00:17:35.740 how to bake a chocolate cake. I expect that when you leave my house, you're going to go home
00:17:40.760 and bake a chocolate cake. And so it's the same thing with comprehensive sex education. You know,
00:17:45.700 a lot of them are saying, you know, comprehensive sex educators, like, oh, we're not teaching
00:17:49.040 them to have sex. That's still their choice. But really that is exactly what's, what's coming.
00:17:54.160 And there's studies that show that, you know, where there's polls of kids who say that they
00:17:58.340 do feel pressured to become sexually active after going through comprehensive sex education.
00:18:04.380 And because they believe that that is now the expectation, that's what I've been taught.
00:18:08.460 And as I continue to teach teens, at one point, the teens actually responded that way. They actually
00:18:16.080 told me that. There was a situation with, and I don't know if you've heard this particular story,
00:18:21.600 but I was teaching these kids in an alternative school, and again, middle school, about 13 years
00:18:26.720 old. And it was boys and girls. And I did the usual, you know, I would walk in, there was a whiteboard,
00:18:33.620 and I would list the different forms of sex, anal, vaginal, oral. So right away, the kids are
00:18:38.500 thinking, okay, well, those are the three things I'm supposed to do. Then I wrote down the three
00:18:42.920 bodily fluids that transmit HIV or other STDs. So blood, sebum, and vaginal secretions. So now,
00:18:49.420 okay, I'm going to be in contact with blood and all of those things. We're having the conversation
00:18:54.580 about transmission and how to reduce the risk by using condoms, lubrication, things like that.
00:19:00.900 And a little girl raises her hand, and she asks me, and I'll clean up her language, but even,
00:19:08.300 you know, it'll still sound graphic. She just basically said, you know, when I'm involved in
00:19:12.780 this sexual activity, I gag. Can you teach me how to do it better? And that, even then, I had heard so
00:19:20.400 many stories from adults on the street, everywhere. I mean, I had heard it all. But, you know, when you
00:19:27.320 hear a little girl say something like that to you, even me, maybe not another sex educator, but
00:19:32.500 it really did take me aback. I was just very, yeah, it was very jarring. So I repeated the
00:19:40.120 question to her because I wanted her to hear what she had said and then clarify what she thought about
00:19:45.800 it. And so I said, okay, what I hear you saying is that when you're involved in this activity,
00:19:50.540 you have this reaction and you don't like that reaction. She said, that's right. I don't like
00:19:56.200 it. But if you teach me how to do it better, maybe I will. And then I said, have you ever
00:20:01.900 considered just not doing the thing that you don't like? If you don't like it, you don't have to do it.
00:20:08.780 Let's start there. And all those kids turned around and looked at me and they didn't look judged.
00:20:15.740 They didn't look like they had just shut down and put up a wall because Planned Parenthood always
00:20:20.260 says, or anyone in comprehensive sex education, SICUS, Advocates for Youth, it doesn't matter.
00:20:24.560 They're all the same. They always said, if you say anything like that, you're going to make them
00:20:30.880 feel judged and they're just going to shut down and they're not going to share with you anymore.
00:20:34.900 Well, these kids didn't look shut down. They just looked at me like, whoa, tell us more about that.
00:20:39.380 Yeah. Like maybe they were relieved that, hey, another option is that you don't have to do any of
00:20:44.280 these things. And you can actually eliminate the risk altogether. Because when you only present
00:20:49.500 the risks, you think, well, this is inevitable. I mean, these are the risks and I'm going to engage
00:20:55.340 in it. And these are just the risks that I have to choose from. But you can actually choose not to
00:20:59.440 put yourself at risk at all. And basically you were told you're not allowed to tell them the no risk
00:21:04.680 option. Exactly. Because it's not loving. It's not compassionate. It's not empathetic.
00:21:10.560 It's not judging. It's not empathetic. So they really guilt you into thinking that you can't
00:21:14.880 teach kids the best for them. So when I noticed their response, I said, guys, do you realize you
00:21:22.340 don't have to have sex at all? Do you realize? And I pointed at the board. I said, you don't have to
00:21:26.720 have anal sex, oral sex, or vaginal sex. And if you don't, then I pointed to the board again. You
00:21:32.680 won't be in contact with anyone's blood, semen, or vaginal secretions. And if you don't,
00:21:37.560 then you don't have to worry about disease or pregnancy. And the little girl, the same little
00:21:43.640 girl raised her hand again. And she said, ma'am, no one's ever told us that. Wow. And what was
00:21:50.440 really interesting is these kids literally huddled together and started talking about ways that they
00:21:56.020 could avoid sex. They didn't use the word abstinence. And they didn't say, let's avoid sex. They just
00:22:01.580 started to talk about things that they could do with each other that didn't have to do with touching
00:22:06.280 each other's private parts. Like, you know, this was in a community that was very poor. And they
00:22:13.460 had a community center and government housing. And they had free movies and snacks. And so that
00:22:17.740 was one of the suggestions that the kids made is, let's go to the community center and watch free
00:22:23.080 movies and snacks. And then... It's just incredible that this is like a novel idea to them. Yeah. That
00:22:30.120 they could actually like prolong their innocence by doing things that kids are supposed to be doing.
00:22:34.560 Was this a light bulb moment for you? You know, it was. I wouldn't say that it was when I changed
00:22:40.480 completely, but it really was. And these kids came up with amazing ideas of how to practice
00:22:47.000 abstinence without using the word abstinence. They actually came up with ideas that Planned Parenthood
00:22:53.440 would not call... You know, I don't know if you've ever seen Planned Parenthood talk about abstinence,
00:22:57.840 but they talk about things like, oh, if you want to abstain from sex, you can do mutual masturbation.
00:23:02.820 You can touch over your clothes. Like these kids were talking about watching movies, playing
00:23:06.980 basketball. Amazing. A little girl did pull away from the group and came up to me and she whispered
00:23:13.340 and she said, I can't do what they're doing. And I said, well, why not? And she said, well,
00:23:19.060 because I'm already sexually active and everyone expects me to do it. So now I can't stop.
00:23:24.020 It's part of her identity.
00:23:24.880 It was part of our identity. But the fact that she came up to me and said that what she was really
00:23:31.540 doing, and this is what as adults we can see in our children, she was really asking me if that was
00:23:39.180 true. And I said, honey, no one can tell you that you have to be sexually active. I assured her that
00:23:46.340 she could stop having sex and not have sex again ever if she didn't ever want to do it again or until
00:23:52.360 she got married, until she decided. And she smiled brightly and joined the group.
00:23:58.680 These kids are waiting for us to lead. They're waiting for their parents to lead. They're waiting
00:24:06.640 to hear any voice of authority to tell them you don't have to be involved in these high risk
00:24:13.120 activities. And Allie, you know, this consent education has me worried. And I know it has a lot
00:24:20.080 of people worried. But I want I just mentioned this to some parents the other day. What's happening
00:24:24.700 with consent education and the law are two things. The more that comprehensive sex educators talk about
00:24:32.300 consent with children, or teach children consent, we're normalizing the idea that children can even
00:24:39.060 consent to sex. Our laws based on our morality is that children cannot consent to sex until they are
00:24:47.920 adults. Right. So the matter what, it does not matter. Exactly. If they say that they consent to
00:24:53.560 it, or whatever the predator says to justify that kind of interaction. They cannot consent because they
00:25:02.840 don't have the capacity really to do so. That is what our law says. And that is why we have the law,
00:25:08.220 because they don't have the capacity to make that kind of decision, and the consequences of those
00:25:14.120 decisions. So it's a good law. So why are we teaching children how to have sex through comprehensive
00:25:20.660 sex education, if the law says that they're not even allowed to consent to sex? Why are we teaching
00:25:26.060 them to consent, when the law says they can't consent? And a big part of that is because it's starting to
00:25:32.420 normalize it in the community. So now the teachers, the parents, whomever legislators are believing,
00:25:38.900 oh, well, if we're teaching consent, then maybe we need to adjust the law. And then so now we see
00:25:43.700 California reducing the age of consent to 14. A 14 year old now, and it was specifics,
00:25:50.560 Representative Wiener passed this, because he specifically said that there was young gay boys
00:25:56.880 who were having sex with adult gay men, and it shouldn't be illegal. Yeah. I mean, that was really
00:26:03.140 the premise of it. And in addition to that, it was also that if the gap was just 10 years,
00:26:10.040 then that adult would not have to does not have to register as a sex offender in the state of
00:26:15.020 California. So we're even talking about a 20 year old and a 10 year old, we're talking about a 25
00:26:20.760 year old and a 15 year old, if the gap is only 10 years says, yes, his name is Wiener. And it's just
00:26:27.820 wild. But that's what his bill now law says that you don't have to register for a sex offender as long
00:26:33.420 as the gap is 10 years. And he did specifically say that this is advocacy that he's doing on behalf
00:26:39.400 of the LGBTQ community, which, again, is kind of a tell, right?
00:26:46.600 It is, it is. And I think that that is one of the things that I'm telling parents as they're
00:26:53.340 working with legislators, and I want legislators to understand, the more we normalize consent,
00:26:59.340 language and education to our children and to the public in general, and in our in our public health
00:27:06.320 initiatives, we are now giving permission for those kind of laws. So if we're used to believing
00:27:12.480 that children can consent to sex, and that children truly have sexual rights to sexual pleasure as
00:27:18.440 minors, then why won't a state legislator pass consent laws that reduces the age of consent? And all
00:27:27.040 it's doing is giving predators, a lot more ammunition, a lot more protection to be attacking
00:27:35.420 our children and harming our children. Yeah. And so, you know, I talked to a friend of mine who's a
00:27:41.660 survivor of human trafficking. And she now is a counselor, and she counsels young girls that have
00:27:47.400 been rescued from human trafficking. And I asked her about consent language. And she admitted to me that
00:27:52.520 she couldn't speak out against consent language, because she'd be fired. Because even in the
00:27:58.080 trafficking community, they talk about consent. And I saw obviously consent is good. It's been
00:28:03.540 twisted, right? I mean, obviously, consent is a good thing, especially, you know, when we're talking
00:28:07.800 about like to adults, like, I mean, of course, we believe in consent and consent is important. The
00:28:13.840 point is that it is being used as the exclusive gauge of good and bad sexual interaction. That as
00:28:24.240 long as someone consents, then everything else is regardless of age, right? Well, it was interesting.
00:28:31.060 The more we talked, she said, well, Monica, I'll admit that when I work with the girls who've been
00:28:37.420 rescued from trafficking, I actually don't teach them consent. I teach them refusal skills. She said,
00:28:45.480 I teach them how to say no, with no justification, a powerful no, and that they don't have to give a
00:28:54.300 reason why they say no. Yeah. And she said, in the trafficking community, traffickers are masters
00:29:02.400 at getting the children to consent. And she's like, and you see it, you see a young child leave school
00:29:11.520 and on their own, go to wherever the trafficker told them to go to be with an adult and then go home
00:29:20.120 and then go to school the next day. And they're consenting to it. There's a book called Pimpology,
00:29:26.700 not that I want to advertise that, but it's literally a pimp who wrote a book, a how-to book on how to be a
00:29:32.180 pimp. And he's really serious about it. And he, in that book also talks about that, about how he can
00:29:37.560 get women to do whatever he wants. They're consenting and they're loyal. And so this consent or the tactic
00:29:46.460 of consent, or however we want to use that term, has been twisted into something that it should have
00:29:51.900 never been. But it's something that we need to be very careful about as we're looking at legislation,
00:29:57.620 as we're looking at education standards, because currently the way the national sex education
00:30:04.920 standards and all the organizations that adopt those standards are using consent are actually
00:30:11.220 very dangerous for our children. And we need to look out for that.
00:30:14.520 When you mentioned that, you mentioned on your site, and you've mentioned here, 40%
00:30:30.360 of students say that they feel pressured teens, say that their federally funded sex education program
00:30:36.680 made them feel pressured to have sex. What we know about all people, but in particular kids whose minds
00:30:42.780 are just more malleable than the adult mind, is that the power of suggestion is really strong.
00:30:50.520 You suggest an idea that they weren't considering before, whether it's an innocent idea, like,
00:30:55.620 hey, do you want a cupcake? They can't stop thinking about that. They weren't thinking about it before.
00:31:00.360 They would have been satisfied with their broccoli, but now you've suggested the cupcake. That's all they
00:31:04.180 can think about. And so it's the same thing, of course, with even more kind of like tantalizing
00:31:10.840 subjects. You're suggesting things to those kids. It gets in their head. And I have also said this
00:31:16.740 about things like so-called gender identity. We kind of hear the same thing that, oh, well,
00:31:22.560 a kindergarten teacher needs to be talking to these young kids about different forms of sexuality and
00:31:28.160 orientation and different pronouns and different identities because it's natural for them to be
00:31:34.140 thinking about these things anyway. And, oh, we're just educating them. We're just showing them the
00:31:38.720 options. Another word that is used very often that I think is a Trojan horse, kind of like the
00:31:44.400 newfangled form of consent, is inclusion. We're just being inclusive. We're teaching empathy.
00:31:51.380 In reality, you are putting kids down a path of confusion that I think probably causes a lot of
00:31:58.560 psychological distress, if not physical distress down the line. Is that what you're seeing as well?
00:32:04.040 Yes. Comprehensive sex education and the approach of it, it is very much sexualization. And so as
00:32:14.100 you're talking about different orientations, the CDC actually, I'm very protective of youth who have
00:32:21.360 same-sex attraction. The CDC says that children who have same-sex attraction or identify with same-sex
00:32:28.900 attraction are actually at higher risk of getting diseases, having sexual violence. They're at higher
00:32:35.940 risk than their heterosexual peers. My belief is in order to protect those children as well, we need to also
00:32:45.500 teach them how to avoid sex. It doesn't matter if you just want to take a public health approach to this. It
00:32:53.540 doesn't matter what the child, how the child is attracted. The truth is, is that all children
00:33:00.560 deserve to be protected from sexualization. And what I witnessed in, you know, the HIV prevention group
00:33:07.620 that I worked with was a gay organization. And so I spent many years just in the gay community, and I would
00:33:14.980 help out at the different teen groups. And every teen gay group or LGBT group always had a big glass bowl
00:33:24.180 of condoms, a big glass bowl of lubrication, and a catalog to good vibrations, sex toys. And these are
00:33:31.460 all children. And they're being sexualized. And they're, and it is very predatory. And I don't believe
00:33:40.420 that any child, regardless of how they identify, should be put into a position where they are being
00:33:47.160 sexualized, and, and shown that this is what's expected of them. It's not right. Our children
00:33:54.260 deserve to be children. So, you know, and that's just a public health approach. Yeah. But at the same
00:34:01.360 time, you know, these are moral issues. There's, there are many people that I work with that say,
00:34:06.340 Monica, don't make this a moral issue. Well, it is a moral issue. It is a moral issue. The national
00:34:11.640 sex education standards are based on morality. It is a secular worldview, right? It's someone's
00:34:17.740 worldview. It is secular humanism. And it is a moral issue. And so we, the truth is, is that our families
00:34:26.000 are diverse. Every family has different morality. And it's not the school's job, or the government's job
00:34:33.600 to be pushing that kind of morality on other families. Our public school system should be
00:34:40.240 about math and science and history. It's not about morality and emotions and mental health.
00:34:47.460 Yeah. That, that is not their role. It's not their lane. And they're overstepping. And really,
00:34:52.900 they're causing more damage to our children and families than they are helping.
00:34:56.720 Yeah. You raise a really good point. Very often, we hear all forms of public education
00:35:02.800 and the history that's being taught, the sexual education that's being taught. We're told that
00:35:08.080 it's just, it's neutral. But really, there is no neutrality when it comes to this. Everything
00:35:14.300 speaks to a particular worldview, especially when you're talking about something like sex. The
00:35:20.160 comprehensive sexual education curriculum that is in schools, as you said, speaks to the
00:35:26.620 worldview of the people that, like those that you first interacted with when you kind of entered
00:35:33.260 this realm back in the 90s. People who think that consent is just a simple yes, and that needs to be
00:35:41.900 taught to children. The don't ask, don't tell. People who apparently think that the innocence of
00:35:46.760 children is just kind of a myth. And is it something to be protected? That sex is just like any other
00:35:53.180 behavior. You do it. There are some medication strategies that you can put into place, but
00:35:57.900 hey, have your fill. Doesn't really matter. So it really goes back to what they believe about human
00:36:05.180 beings, what they believe about human nature, what they believe about morality that is directly opposed
00:36:11.960 to what we believe as Christians, that all people are made in the image of God, no matter who they are.
00:36:16.380 Therefore, they have value. Therefore, what happens to their body matters. But if you believe that we're
00:36:21.340 just clumps of cells, which Planned Parenthood obviously does, then of course, why would you
00:36:26.940 care about someone's behavior and how it leads to destruction? So everything speaks to a worldview.
00:36:33.180 And your particular position is that parents are the ones who are supposed to be discipling their kids
00:36:39.260 in this kind of thing. They're the ones who are supposed to be implementing their worldview, correct?
00:36:44.060 It is, absolutely. And I came to that conclusion after I finally left that field of work. And I was
00:36:51.580 really seeking out God for answers. And one of the things that he reminded me of...
00:36:55.820 Sorry, let me pause. What was the tipping point? What made you leave?
00:37:00.700 Well, okay. So I shared the story of teaching the Planned Parenthood in South Texas, in Corpus
00:37:08.780 Christi. And that was really my last straw when I saw multiple Planned Parenthoods admitting to me
00:37:15.260 that they did not believe girls who were being preyed on by adult men for sex were not victims of
00:37:22.140 human trafficking and that they wanted it and that perhaps they were even satisfied by it. That was my
00:37:27.580 last straw. I went back to my office, told my supervisor about that, let her know that they refused to
00:37:33.820 protect victims of human trafficking. She got mad at me, told me if I wasn't pro-choice, which is
00:37:39.340 interesting that she used those words. If I wasn't pro-choice, I didn't belong there.
00:37:42.620 And you weren't even talking about abortion.
00:37:44.140 I wasn't. But you know, Allie, it's all linked together.
00:37:47.340 Yeah.
00:37:47.740 Because sex education, as you were just saying earlier about how we view our bodies and our
00:37:53.500 identities, comprehensive sex education that espouses or does espouse and adopts the national sex
00:38:01.100 education standards, is very much about our bodies don't mean anything. Everything is about sexual
00:38:07.980 pleasure. And if you go through their standards, that's all it's about. It's anything goes kind
00:38:13.020 of mentality from birth to tomb. And so what I teach people today.
00:38:17.660 From before birth. I mean, really before birth, when you think about it.
00:38:21.580 That's true.
00:38:22.460 I mean, it is all connected for sure.
00:38:24.700 Yeah. But what happens is that when we teach our children comprehensive sex education and we teach
00:38:30.300 them that their bodies are just things and that you just kind of push some buttons to get some
00:38:35.580 kind of pleasure out of it, you're really teaching our children how to dehumanize each other. And
00:38:40.620 that's what they're doing. They're objectifying themselves. They're objectifying one another.
00:38:45.900 And then it becomes a natural next step to dehumanize the preborn child through abortion.
00:38:50.620 And so it's all connected. There's a reason why Planned Parenthood is also one of the largest
00:38:55.420 providers of sex education. It's their marketing tool for abortion.
00:38:59.820 You have to groom and hormone therapy now all connected. But it also says that the body doesn't
00:39:06.540 matter, that you can identify and say who you are, no matter what your body says.
00:39:10.700 Exactly. And all of it is to destroy God's creation for humanity and marriage and identity and family and
00:39:19.340 sexual intimacy. It's a direct attack on his creation. And so we see this happening.
00:39:26.300 And we go back and we start to wonder, you know, how is this happening? Why is it that family is
00:39:31.500 so important? And that's one of the first things that God showed me is that he reminded me of something
00:39:36.220 that Planned Parenthood would always tell me at the various conferences that I went to where I was
00:39:40.780 training them. And they would always say, Monica, parents are a barrier to service.
00:39:46.460 As soon as a parent knows that their kid is coming to a Planned Parenthood,
00:39:50.780 we never see that kid again because their parents take them out.
00:39:53.740 Parents are a barrier to service.
00:39:55.500 Parents are a barrier to service. And Allie, you're going to see this language in legislation.
00:40:00.940 So now with the trans movement and wanting to transition children's bodies with puberty blockers
00:40:07.340 and surgery, the bills literally say that parents are a barrier to the health care of their children.
00:40:14.140 We're going to start to see this in mental health bills as well, that the government or the school
00:40:19.820 knows better and that parents are really a barrier. And a lot of this, and I don't know if you've
00:40:25.660 watched the mind polluters and it's a film that I'm in as well, but we really talk about how this is
00:40:31.900 happening in the schools with sex education, social, emotional learning, the data mining of our
00:40:36.780 children, how they're being mentally manipulated, how their emotions are being manipulated, all to conform to
00:40:43.100 something that the government is wanting. It sounds like a conspiracy theory, except that
00:40:47.340 the proof is there. We're seeing it in the schools today. We're seeing teachers leaving the schools
00:40:53.660 because they don't want to be a part of it. And then we're seeing those who stay are compromising to it.
00:40:59.020 And so we're just seeing that these programs and these approaches are meant to destroy the family,
00:41:10.540 to tear them apart. You don't have to go to your parents to go to the doctor. We can show you how
00:41:16.220 to do it without your parents' consent or knowledge. It's now called adolescent confidentiality.
00:41:22.780 You know what, there's all kinds of terms that they're using, but they're basically wanting to
00:41:27.900 give quote unquote, our children, their own sexual rights, their own rights to be able to do these
00:41:33.980 things without parental knowledge, to liberate them from the parent, whether it's a COVID vaccine
00:41:39.980 or other vaccines. We're seeing that parents more and more are being, there's, they're creating a wedge
00:41:47.740 between parents and their children. And so that's one of the reasons I started It Takes a Family many
00:41:53.020 years ago, is I realized that if Planned Parenthood is saying that parents are barrier to service,
00:41:58.380 what they're really saying is we're afraid of parents. We're afraid of families who actually
00:42:03.660 talk to their children and who care about what their, what their children are up to. Parents who
00:42:08.380 actually have a good attachment to their children, that's who they're afraid of. And so that's what we
00:42:13.500 need to be doing is we need to focus back on this issue of fatherlessness. We need to start talking
00:42:18.620 more about, you know, how do we strengthen our marriages? How do we strengthen the role of the
00:42:24.700 wife and the role of the husband? How do they then learn their role as parents? And how do the children
00:42:31.180 understand their role within the family and their purpose and their value within the family? I've met even
00:42:38.220 Christian families who have said, or even asked my permission, Monica, is it okay if I look at my
00:42:43.820 child's phone? Why are families, adults or even Christian adults asking if it's okay to look at a
00:42:51.500 child's phone? We obviously have lost our identity or our understanding of what it is to be a parent.
00:42:59.740 And so when we can start strengthening families, not only by understanding our role and our authority and the
00:43:07.100 power that we have, I mean, here's the truth. A lot of times people say, well, you know, kids don't
00:43:13.020 really want to listen to their parents and they're going to roll their eyes and they don't listen to
00:43:15.900 parents anymore. Well, all that is false. Do they roll their eyes? Yes. Do kids really want boundaries
00:43:22.780 being set by their parents because it makes them feel loved? Absolutely. When in college, I also worked
00:43:28.620 at a children's shelter. All these children had been abused and now lived in this home and we were their
00:43:33.740 house parents. And no matter how awful of a history I read on each of those children, there was one thing
00:43:43.420 that that child wanted more than anything else. And it was to go back to mom and dad. It didn't matter
00:43:49.500 what had happened to them. That strong draw to be with your biological parents and to have them love you
00:43:57.740 and protect you is so strong. And I say that to parents every day that within our families as well, our children
00:44:05.540 are waiting for us to lead. They're waiting for us to set boundaries for them. They're waiting for us to have
00:44:11.800 conversations with them. And so that's part of what I do with It Takes a Family is I help parents understand the
00:44:18.560 culture, what is going on, understand the studies so that when the topic comes up, whether they bring it up or their
00:44:25.560 child brings it up, they're able to speak intelligently about what's happening in the world and give their
00:44:31.120 children an answer. Because what we're hearing now is that children are learning at the school about all
00:44:37.740 these different ideologies. And they're being told that parents are just outdated, old fashioned, they don't
00:44:44.440 understand. And they're literally coming home and being very demeaning to their parents, acting as though the
00:44:51.840 parents don't know anything. But when a parent can then say, I know a thing or two about this movement or this
00:44:58.280 ideology, and let me tell you more about what happens when someone transitions, because I read in the New Atlantis
00:45:04.320 about this, then all of a sudden, you can take your authority back and you can give your child truth. And now they're
00:45:10.460 able to give a proper loving and compassionate response in the world as well.
00:45:21.840 And it's also so important for parents to really be proactive in this rather than reactive, because I do think
00:45:32.520 that you have a leg up as a parent, if you are the first one to talk to your kid about something, obviously, when
00:45:38.700 it's age appropriate, based on their maturity level, and you disclose the information that you want to disclose
00:45:44.260 based on the situation, which is another reason why it should be parents introducing these topics, because you do have
00:45:51.440 the authority, you have the best interest of your child's body and mind at heart, and you know, particularly where they
00:45:58.120 are, you can know, are their friends already talking about this stuff? Do they have friends that are behaving in this
00:46:05.000 way? Or are they totally not thinking about this stuff at all? Is this not on their radar? And so it's not time for me to
00:46:11.260 talk about that. But really, only the parent knows, which is another reason why that is not the role of the
00:46:17.780 state. It's not the role of the school, which unfortunately, that's basically the same, the state and the
00:46:23.060 school right now that is giving this comprehensive sex education. But parents, as you said, having the
00:46:29.120 confidence to talk to their kids about it first, when it is time and when it is appropriate and how it is
00:46:37.060 appropriate is so important, because kids are looking for that. They're looking for those parameters.
00:46:43.740 They're looking for someone to give them clarity in a world that is so chaotic and confusing.
00:46:49.120 They are. They're looking for clarity, and they're looking for the ideal. I get that a lot from young
00:46:55.140 people in their 20s. Like they're asking Miss Monica, what is the ideal for marriage? What is the ideal for
00:47:00.020 relationships? What is the ideal for parenting? They want the ideal. They want to know. They want some
00:47:05.860 clarity, and they want a good standard. They recognize that comprehensive sex education is not good enough.
00:47:12.320 It's really setting the bar really, really low. And they're tired of it. They want real relationships
00:47:18.520 with people. And our children do too. And you're absolutely right, Allie. Only a parent knows what
00:47:24.960 their child is ready to hear. When I was teaching my son, he would ask a question about his body or
00:47:32.120 where do babies come from, things like that throughout his life. And I would let him know, I'm going to answer
00:47:36.860 that question as fully as I can for your age right now. You know, the way I think, you know, what you're
00:47:42.960 ready for. I said, but even in my answer, if at any point, you don't want to hear anymore, just raise your
00:47:49.440 hand, say, Mom, that's enough. And I won't ask you any questions. We'll just move on. And he did that at least
00:47:55.580 three times in his life. Just let me know, Mom, that's enough. That's enough. That's enough. And it would be like,
00:48:00.640 you know, three, six months later, he'd ask again, and then he was ready to hear a little bit more.
00:48:05.000 You're not going to get that in the classroom at all. You know, we've heard stories of kids fainting
00:48:11.760 in some of these classrooms, because it was it was the image imagery that they were showing them was
00:48:16.320 too much. We've had, you know, cases where kids who've been sexually abused as children, who then go
00:48:23.440 through comprehensive sex education, and it actually triggers their PTSD, of course, because they're
00:48:28.440 talking about things that actually happen to them as little kids. Or we have children who are being
00:48:35.680 abused, who now learn comprehensive sex education in such a, quote unquote, positive way. And they
00:48:41.560 can't distinguish between what's happening to them as abuse versus that they're supposed to be sexually
00:48:47.420 active at this age, and they get very confused. So this does not belong in the schools. Yeah. And I
00:48:54.300 would also just really encourage parents that even if you were to seek out sex education, do not seek
00:48:59.660 out comprehensive sex education. You have to ask yourself, what are your standards? What are your
00:49:05.700 beliefs? Do you have a worldview? I think about this a lot, because I didn't really have a strong worldview
00:49:11.760 when I went to college. So then I realized, well, if I did have a strong worldview, then I would know
00:49:18.260 what to base it on. I would know what I would consider to be appropriate or not appropriate
00:49:23.520 for myself. And parents need to be asking themselves those kind of questions. I think the other thing I
00:49:28.220 tell parents that's really important is just because we teach our children, let's say a Christian
00:49:33.700 standard, God's creation for man and woman, male, female, identity, marriage, family, and sexual intimacy.
00:49:40.720 We need to also recognize that our children are sinful just like we are. And they're on their own
00:49:47.800 journey and they're going to make their own decisions at some point. It's important for us
00:49:52.880 as moms and dads to figure out today, how will I respond if my child does see pornography? How will I
00:50:00.780 respond if this does happen? You know, I've had parents say that, you know, they taught their children
00:50:06.780 about, you know, waiting until marriage and maybe a child decided not to do that. And now all of a sudden
00:50:13.460 they had to face that reality. And it wasn't to allow that child to continue in that behavior.
00:50:18.580 If anything, those parents said, well, now we had to set up new boundaries to protect our child from
00:50:24.060 doing that again. And so these are things that parents need to be thinking about because the last
00:50:29.200 thing we want to do is that when our child does fall, that we're going to judge them, get mad at them
00:50:35.180 in such a way that they may shut down altogether. So we want to be able to be proactive to know how
00:50:41.040 to offer forgiveness and grace and new boundaries to help protect our children and help them to grow
00:50:49.160 into adulthood. Yeah. I have a few more questions for you about that, but I do want to back up a
00:50:54.760 little bit and hear more about your journey personally. You said that you were seeking God,
00:51:00.740 asking him questions after you stopped volunteering at Planned Parenthood and stopped being a family
00:51:06.440 planning educator. What did that look like? What did the road look like from that to where you are
00:51:12.900 now? That's a big about face. Well, I didn't just teach comprehensive sex education. I adopted the
00:51:19.700 philosophy in my life. So I was a promiscuous young adult. I just took on the full philosophy of that.
00:51:28.080 I objectified myself. I objectified other people. I believe Planned Parenthood, when they said it was
00:51:33.400 empowering, that I was an empowered woman, I was independent, I could get mine. It was always also
00:51:40.000 that men were bad and selfish. And so women had to get theirs and treat them just as selfishly as they
00:51:46.500 treated us. Feminism. Right. So I believed in all those things. And every time I would fall into a
00:51:52.860 depression because I really didn't like what I was doing, I would then remember all the things that
00:51:59.540 Planned Parenthood told me, you're independent, you're a strong woman. And that was how I'd make
00:52:05.540 myself feel a little better temporarily. And it never really worked. I say all that to say that I
00:52:10.440 eventually did find myself facing an unplanned pregnancy. And I immediately scheduled an abortion
00:52:16.080 because that's what this education teaches. It's an automatic. You don't stop to think,
00:52:21.220 this is a child. I'm a mom. You don't think those things. You literally just think,
00:52:25.720 oh, abortion. And they train you not to even think about the moral question. And that's still what
00:52:32.680 we hear in the media today. It avoids the moral question or the wrestling that women have and
00:52:38.540 should have when it comes to ending the life of a human being. Right, right. But we're also not
00:52:44.400 teaching people about pregnancy. We're not teaching about fetal development. So that's not in comprehensive
00:52:51.660 sex education. They're not talking about how pregnancy happens and fetal development. You
00:52:57.960 would think that that would make it in the comprehensive part. A little bit, but not in
00:53:02.760 the way that I'm suggesting. In other words, if parents were to really teach their children
00:53:07.620 about pregnancy and that pregnancy means you've become a mom or a dad because you've conceived a
00:53:13.320 child with a woman. So you become a dad or even fetal development so that they understand that life
00:53:19.460 begins at fertilization. If we had some of those things, if we, and this is why we're seeing the,
00:53:24.400 you know, like students for life and the younger generation being so powerful with their pro-life message
00:53:29.280 is because through technology, they witnessed their siblings in their mother's wombs, you know,
00:53:34.660 so they got to see that. They got the education that life begins at fertilization. And so they have
00:53:40.620 this respect for life. And so, but when, through comprehensive sex education, you're not going to see that
00:53:47.140 and you're not going to hear that. You're just going to talk about prevention, period. And, um,
00:53:52.640 and I won't share the details of what that looks like unless you want me to, but we talk about it
00:53:56.920 in such a way that you just don't want the sperm to get into the vagina kind of thing. Um, but that's
00:54:02.440 it. And then if it does, you have an abortion. It's literally, that's it. So I scheduled my abortion
00:54:09.600 and, um, I ended up calling a good friend of mine who I had actually gone to an abortion clinic with
00:54:15.540 her in college and she, she had her abortion. Um, it was a horrific event. It took all day,
00:54:23.820 seven in the morning till seven at night. Um, it was, it was a very depressing, horrible experience
00:54:32.140 to be at that abortion clinic in Austin. And this was your abortion or your friend's abortion in
00:54:38.220 college. Right. And so I witnessed her go through that. And so when I scheduled my abortion,
00:54:43.520 she's the first person I called cause I knew she would understand. And so all I knew about abortion
00:54:49.540 from my girlfriends was that they were very quiet about it, but they were also very depressed about
00:54:54.540 it. They just never talked about it. So we would just sit in silence and care for whoever just had
00:55:00.340 the abortion. Um, so I called her, I called her for that weird support to do something that no one
00:55:09.320 really talked about. Validation. Just validation. Yeah. Just, you know, okay, you're going to be
00:55:14.280 good, you know, kind of thing. And at this point she was married and had her first son.
00:55:21.380 And when I told her I was pregnant, she started celebrating on the other end of the phone.
00:55:27.320 And I said, no, no, there, there is no celebrating. I scheduled an abortion. And she was like, oh,
00:55:33.020 forget about that. And she just continued to like, Allie, do you have a friend that when you
00:55:37.200 talk to her on the phone or in person, you can't get any word in edgewise? Cause she just talks
00:55:42.420 and she's really excited. This was my friend. She was so excited that she just would not let
00:55:47.900 me speak. And she just went on and on and on about my baby. And she started to just imagine
00:55:53.560 her as a little first as a boy and then as a girl. And what if she has your eyes and what if she has
00:55:59.180 your personality, you know, a little Moniquita. And she just continued to imagine my child
00:56:04.020 until I started imagining my child.
00:56:07.760 And you hadn't even thought about it really like that. And were you with the father?
00:56:11.420 I had moved in with my boyfriend and I had been disowned by my parents because I moved in with my
00:56:17.240 boyfriend. Cause even though we didn't go to church, we were a traditional family and you do
00:56:21.800 not move in with your boyfriend. So, um, yeah. So all of a sudden I started, as she was celebrating
00:56:29.520 on the phone, I started thinking to myself, why am I, why am I doing this? Why? And for the first
00:56:35.040 time, all of a sudden I asked myself, why am I going to kill my baby? And I answered myself, I said,
00:56:42.640 well, my parents just disowned me for moving in with my boyfriend. They're going to be really mad
00:56:47.960 when I tell them I'm pregnant. And I thought, am I really going to kill my child? Cause my parents
00:56:53.000 are going to be mad at me. Like, this is not the last time they're going to be mad at me.
00:56:56.340 And it just, all of a sudden I just changed. And I told my friend, you're right. I'm going to have
00:57:01.520 this baby. And she said, well, of course you are. And so of course I canceled that abortion
00:57:06.960 and, and I did have my son and it was a great pregnancy. But what had happened is that there
00:57:14.600 really wasn't a real commitment in my relationship. And that relationship had been based on a lot of
00:57:22.560 objectification. Um, it was not a solid relationship. It was just kind of more convenient.
00:57:28.940 Did I feel love? Yes. Um, but it was not founded on any kind of commitment and he did not want to
00:57:37.260 be married. Um, and so. How did he feel when you told him, yeah, I'm keeping the baby? Um, he,
00:57:43.980 well, one, he did what, what men are taught to do. Um, he just said, whatever your decision is,
00:57:50.720 I'll support. Yeah. I hear that a lot. And men think that they're being virtuous.
00:57:55.440 Exactly. And so that's what he said. And then when I told him I was going to have the child, he,
00:58:01.460 he was not negative about it at all. Um, he did say, are you sure about this? Cause I'm about to
00:58:06.720 tell my mom and if, and she'll be happy about it. And if you change your mind, it'll devastate her.
00:58:12.620 And I said, no, I, that passivity goes back to the garden of Eden, man. Yeah. Yeah. So it's
00:58:17.900 still passivity. So, but I said, no, I do. I'm going to have this child. And she was, she was very
00:58:22.280 happy. His mother was very happy. Um, but he, the reality of having a child really hit him
00:58:30.720 and he just couldn't handle that. And so by the time my son was two years old, he left
00:58:36.900 and left us on our own. And, um, but what's interesting is that, you know, the relationship
00:58:44.500 wasn't healthy. Um, he was gone most of the time, uh, very unfaithful. Uh, so there was a lot of
00:58:51.400 darkness in our household. And when my son turned a year old, um, in that first year of his life,
00:58:58.320 I had a lot of depression and I sought out a lot of new age things. Um, and then one day I just,
00:59:06.000 it's hard to explain, but I realized that God had been intervening in my life, protecting me
00:59:12.880 and was asking me to be part of his family. And I was, Allie, I was not one of those people who
00:59:20.220 would accept Christ. If you had come up to me and asked me if I knew Jesus, I probably would have
00:59:25.740 cursed you out and told you to get out of my face. You were hostile. I was a very hostile person. I was
00:59:30.240 and Planned Parenthood, I imagine kind of fosters that and encourages that attitude. They probably see
00:59:35.700 Christians as crazy fundamentalist. Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, barrier to service, they might
00:59:42.500 say. Right, right. Yeah. You're judging, uh, Christians are judging. Um, and so, and in mean
00:59:48.360 and hateful. So, um, I, I only, I only knew of one church in Austin, Texas. There's lots of churches,
00:59:55.380 but I only knew of one. And I went to that church. I took my son with me and I, I accepted the call,
01:00:02.480 uh, by the pastor and I accepted Christ as my, as my savior. And I got home and I told my boyfriend,
01:00:08.440 I said, I think I just got saved. I think that's what that means. And I wasn't sure if it meant that
01:00:13.660 or not. And so every time I went to church, I kept doing the same prayer over and over again,
01:00:17.860 because I was so afraid it didn't stick. Um, but I never left. And so for that first year of being a
01:00:23.920 Christian, my son was with me at church every Sunday, I was in the word every day. And there
01:00:30.760 was such a spiritual battle. And the closer I got to Christ, the worse his father got until finally
01:00:37.760 one day he just left. And I was very devastated. And I was at the park with my son. I was doing all
01:00:45.480 the things that I always did with my son. I was a very devoted mother. Um, that changed me just
01:00:50.020 knowing that I became a mom. I became my own mom. I did everything my mom did, which I,
01:00:54.860 I just was committed to my child. And, uh, it all of a sudden one day at, uh, at a park by myself
01:01:02.120 with my son, I was crying that I was all by myself. And all of a sudden I realized, well,
01:01:07.100 nothing's changed. He was never with us anyway. He didn't play with us. He didn't spend time with us.
01:01:12.320 So, um, I really clung on to Isaiah 54, where God tells us that he is our savior, our redeemer,
01:01:19.880 our husband. I accepted God as being the provider of my little family. And I kept pressing forward.
01:01:27.760 And, uh, I had devotionals in my office. I was still working as a comprehensive sex educator.
01:01:33.040 I was actually managing other outreach workers. Um, I, without knowing it, I had, uh, drug users
01:01:41.500 coming into my office, reading my devotionals, um, because they were there cleaning, um, after,
01:01:47.680 after, you know, after we would leave. And so if I would take a devotional, a lot of them would say,
01:01:51.940 I need you to bring that back. Cause I take a break and I read it. Um, and I just started becoming,
01:01:57.820 and I don't mean this arrogantly, but not knowing I started becoming light and salt in my office.
01:02:05.060 And, uh, and then finally to the point that I, I finally realized I couldn't work there anymore
01:02:10.700 and I had to do something about it. Um, and so it was, it was, it's a, it's a bigger story. Um,
01:02:16.380 but it was a huge journey of needing to, it was really a journey of God saving me from my own self
01:02:24.840 and my own decisions and then offering me that forgiveness of everything I had done,
01:02:29.980 not only to myself, but what I had taught other people in the community.
01:02:34.040 Yeah. And he redeemed what was evil and he's used it for good. And I love that characteristic of God
01:02:41.520 that it's not like he just, he only moved you out of that industry and into something else that would
01:02:48.380 have been fine too, but he literally like turned what you were doing on its head. So he's
01:02:54.580 using all of the experiences that you had before Christ. And rather than just saying,
01:03:00.000 let's forget about that, but no, even more, I'm sure frustrating for Satan using all of those
01:03:08.000 experiences, not to accuse you, but for his glory and for the good of other people. And isn't that
01:03:13.980 what Christ does? And that is full redemption. Yes. When God can use our past to now glorify him
01:03:21.580 in our present, in our future and bring others to him. And so that has been an interesting journey
01:03:26.920 to see how he can use me because even in church today, there are certain people who are attracted
01:03:34.760 and know that they can come and speak to me, whether they know my story or not, but they know
01:03:39.480 that they're safe with me. And so I'm still working with the marginalized because they feel safe with
01:03:44.340 me. And it's the same love of Christ that I can serve them with. And so if he can forgive me,
01:03:49.620 then I know he can forgive them. Yeah. And so it's, it's been a great journey to see him
01:03:53.960 use my past that I was so ashamed of to now glorify him and help other people.
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01:04:51.280 your socks. That's blaze socks.com. Let me just ask is Planned Parenthood and the comprehensive sex
01:05:01.880 education. And gosh, there's so many different facets and so many different people and so much
01:05:06.680 money behind it. All of that world that you left, would you say that it's still doing the same
01:05:13.260 things today, covering up for abusers, grooming children? Is it worse? Is it different?
01:05:19.460 It's absolutely the same. I think that technology has allowed them to do a lot more, but literally the
01:05:25.380 curricula are no different. The comprehensive sex education that we provided in the nineties is
01:05:31.440 exactly what they're providing today. Uh, but just on steroids, there's even more, uh, you know, now
01:05:37.600 we have a maze.com, all these little cartoons that are presented to children. It's, it's incredibly,
01:05:43.880 it's shocking that it's even legal that those videos exist. Um, so they just have the ability
01:05:51.480 to, to go further, but, but so do we, you know, we have the ability to go further as well. Um, but it
01:05:58.140 hasn't changed. They continue to feel the same way. They're, they're not reporting trafficking. Um,
01:06:05.160 they're very proud of what they're doing. Planned Parenthood told me that they were proud to serve
01:06:09.460 pimps and their prostitutes because then where else would they get abortions and who else would
01:06:14.520 provide them with healthcare? So they felt very proud about what they were doing. We're working
01:06:19.660 with people who are very distorted in their mind and in their hearts and they don't fully understand
01:06:26.620 what they're doing, but they are, what we need to understand is that they are doing it and they're
01:06:31.820 doing it aggressively and we need to become that barrier to make it stop. Yeah. Everyone is seeking
01:06:38.980 to disciple and indoctrinate your child. If you break down that word indoctrinate, it's just placing
01:06:44.780 your doctrines inside someone. I think that a lot of people say, oh, all indoctrination is bad. Well, no,
01:06:50.440 some doctrines are good and some doctrines are bad. And actually we should be teaching our doctrines
01:06:55.280 to our children. And if we don't, the world is going to, um, can you just give a final message?
01:07:01.060 We talked, um, a little bit, uh, a little bit ago, you were told that the education that you are
01:07:07.140 giving was compassionate, that it was empathetic and that teaching abstinence and self-control
01:07:12.860 and honoring your body and others' bodies was a form of judgment. I still think that a lot of
01:07:19.080 women, especially moms and Christian women are manipulated by that language today,
01:07:24.340 especially in the abortion debate. We're told, well, if you don't believe in legally killing
01:07:29.540 the child inside the womb, you better be pro-comprehensive sex education because we're
01:07:35.340 told that that is what is preventing abuse. That's what's preventing unwanted pregnancies.
01:07:40.660 And the empathetic, kind, loving, even Christ-like thing to do is to present all of these things to
01:07:48.100 kids and to never say something is right or wrong. So what message do you have to Christian
01:07:54.320 women who find themselves manipulated and bullied by what I call toxic empathy?
01:08:00.960 Right. As soon as I left, I learned something very important. There's a big difference between
01:08:08.500 love and compassion in the world and a big difference between love and compassion as a
01:08:12.700 Christian. And, um, in the world, I was very loving and compassionate to the children and to the
01:08:19.560 other adults in the high-risk neighborhoods that I served, but I serve them not with truth.
01:08:26.160 And so when I serve them with love and compassion, I led them down a road of high-risk behavior
01:08:32.640 with this false belief that the condom lubrication was going to work. And because we knew it wouldn't,
01:08:39.840 they would then, we were, they were always encouraged to get tested for diseases and encouraged to come in
01:08:44.440 to have abortions. That is not loving and compassionate. That is leading someone down a dark path of more hurt
01:08:53.800 to their body and to their spirits and their emotions. That's not compassionate. What was compassionate was
01:09:00.900 when God met me where I was at. And see, this is what comprehensive sex educators say that they do.
01:09:06.440 Meet them where they're at and then serve them. Well, they meet them where they're at and they continue to lead
01:09:12.880 them into high-risk behaviors. God met me where I was at and he loved me. And he took me out of that
01:09:20.160 into a better life, a life where I wasn't exposed to disease, a life where my child would not be
01:09:26.440 fatherless. It's, it's, there's a huge difference. So when you're serving with love and compassion
01:09:32.380 and you don't have truth, then you are going to be led a very dark road. And so my message for those
01:09:39.700 women out there who want to express love and compassion by affirming behaviors that are
01:09:45.920 actually harming people, the more you affirm that, the more you ignore it, the more it'll be normalized
01:09:52.540 in your own mind. And that darkness will change you and that darkness will change your household as
01:09:59.260 well. And so until we know what is true and you understand what standards you're going to choose to
01:10:06.720 follow, your, your, um, the, the path that you go down is going to be very different.
01:10:13.740 Yes. And so if you choose secular humanism and you want to use that as your guide, then you will
01:10:21.500 have to deal with the diseases and the unplanned pregnancies and such. But if you have this other
01:10:27.280 standard of valuing your body, understanding how you were created, then you will have a different path
01:10:33.540 altogether. So I think we have to understand that our love and our compassion is guided. The rudder of
01:10:40.340 that is what truth are you believing? Yes. Have you read Love Thy Body by Nancy Pearson? I have. Yes.
01:10:46.000 If you haven't had her on your show yet, I don't know if you have, then you should, because y'all would
01:10:50.160 be wonderful together. But thank you so much for your insight and for sharing your story. You are going
01:10:55.440 to help so many moms and just parents, people, um, today. And I really recommend everyone go subscribe
01:11:03.760 to your show. They can listen to it wherever they listen to podcasts, the Monica Klein show. Um, is there
01:11:10.000 anything else you want to tell people? Where can they go to find you? Sure. They can also find me at
01:11:14.520 it takes a family.org. Okay. Awesome. Thank you so much, Monica. Thanks, Allie.