Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - August 18, 2022


Ep 663 ｜ The Truth About 'Comprehensive Sex Education' ｜ Guest： Monica Cline


Episode Stats

Length

1 hour and 11 minutes

Words per Minute

176.31139

Word Count

12,573

Sentence Count

822

Misogynist Sentences

29

Hate Speech Sentences

31


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. Happy Thursday. Today we are talking to Monica Klein. She's got
00:00:05.440 an amazing story, an amazing testimony. She used to be a family planning educator for Planned
00:00:13.320 Parenthood. She was pro-abortion, pro-promiscuity, pro-every-left-wing talking point about sex and
00:00:22.180 gender and relationships that you can think of. And she went into schools and she educated kids
00:00:27.960 about this. And now God has changed her life and she educates families about how they can disciple
00:00:36.940 their children in what is good and right and true about God's design for gender, for sex, and for
00:00:44.760 the family. So she is going to tell us what really goes on at Planned Parenthood, the ideology that is
00:00:52.000 driving the so-called comprehensive sex education that we are seeing in schools. And then she is
00:00:58.820 also going to tell us how there is a better way, there's a better design, and there is a better way
00:01:04.340 to teach kids about sex. And that really comes down to a parent's responsibility to know what God says
00:01:11.800 about these things and to teach our kids about it. You are absolutely going to love this conversation.
00:01:16.820 You're going to be encouraged by it and enlightened as well. We'll get straight into it. But first,
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00:01:32.360 slash Allie. You'll get a discount on your order. Go to goodranchers.com slash Allie.
00:01:37.640 Monica, thank you so much for taking the time to join us. Can you tell everyone who may not know
00:01:52.020 who you are and what you do? Oh, sure. Well, my name is Monica Lial-Klein,
00:01:56.120 and I'm the founder of It Takes a Family. It's an organization where I really teach families how
00:02:02.320 to strengthen from within strong moms and dads or all sometimes it might even be a single parent
00:02:08.800 family. I was a single mom for nine years. And so my mission is to strengthen the family,
00:02:16.900 have those parents teaching children God's creation for humanity, their identity,
00:02:22.840 God's purpose for marriage, family and sexual intimacy, and to really strengthen that attachment
00:02:28.880 within the family to protect those children so that they know how to give an answer out in the
00:02:34.040 world. And you used to be a volunteer educator for Planned Parenthood. You were a Title X family
00:02:41.880 planning training manager. You would go into schools, teach what's called comprehensive sex education.
00:02:49.240 Tell us, before you tell us what that was like, how did you get into that realm?
00:02:54.360 Yeah. So that was in the 90s, 1990s. That seems like so long ago now.
00:03:00.460 It was. I mean, I was born in the 90s and I'm 30. So yeah, it's a long time ago now.
00:03:06.320 Well, I was graduating from the University of Texas in Austin, and it was during the, you know,
00:03:12.240 HIV epidemic. And so I wanted to do my part in my 20s to change the world and protect people,
00:03:19.300 especially the marginalized. And I had had people very close to me who had died because of getting
00:03:25.700 HIV and turning into AIDS and they passed on. And so I decided that I was going to volunteer at an
00:03:32.560 HIV organization that was doing prevention education in high risk communities. And as soon as I
00:03:38.840 volunteered and really got into public health education and training, I thought it was really
00:03:43.540 fascinating and I excelled at it and I was quickly hired. And so I became an HIV prevention educator
00:03:52.420 in Austin, Texas. And I, you know, primarily our job was to reach out to people who were living high
00:04:00.020 risk lifestyles, men who have sex with men, as well as women of childbearing age. And, and I,
00:04:06.460 my job was literally to walk the streets 40 hours a week in high risk neighborhoods and talk about HIV
00:04:13.520 hand out condoms and give referrals to Planned Parenthood or to the STD clinic. Or also, you know,
00:04:20.480 once people found out their diagnosis, if they were HIV positive to get them to case management and to
00:04:26.460 healthcare. Okay. And how would you describe your worldview at this point? I know you're a Christian
00:04:33.080 now. Were you a Christian then? You know, I wasn't. I was, I'm Hispanic, I'm Mexican American,
00:04:39.700 and really in my family, we're a very conservative, traditional Mexican American family. And I was
00:04:47.320 baptized as a Catholic. Um, and, but I never attended church. My parents didn't take us to
00:04:53.040 church. Uh, they gave me a big white Bible and said, God exists. Here are the 10 commandments.
00:04:58.540 Uh, there are good rules to live by. And that was pretty much it. Um, I saw my grandma, you know,
00:05:03.920 praying in front of a statue of Jesus, lighting candles. Um, but I didn't really understand who
00:05:09.640 God is or was, and I didn't understand who Jesus was. I just saw really in the Catholic faith,
00:05:16.700 the symbolism. I just saw this man on a crucifix. I didn't, you know, it looks sad to me. So I didn't
00:05:21.760 realize that Jesus was God and that he was strong. Um, and so really, if I had a worldview,
00:05:29.200 it was my own conservative family. And what I mean by conservative is that my parents were each
00:05:34.720 other's best friends. They were with each other all the time. They were very devoted to their
00:05:38.820 children. We were all together all the time. Uh, they were wonderful parents. Um, but I didn't
00:05:45.780 really know what a godly wife or godly husband was supposed to look like. Uh, we never talked about,
00:05:50.880 uh, whether I should date. And if I did, what that would look like. Uh, we never talked about
00:05:56.260 whether if I would get married and if I did, what kind of man I should marry, you know? So we didn't
00:06:02.880 talk about those kinds of things. Um, a lot of it was that we were in poverty. Uh, my dad had cancer
00:06:08.660 and we were, I would say that we were a very strong, loving family, but we were in survival mode.
00:06:15.420 So really talking about the future and, and marriage and things like that, we didn't really
00:06:22.760 talk about those things. Yeah. So by the time I left that little farm town and went to UT Austin,
00:06:28.560 I was very easily molded by the world. Um, and so by the time I started, um, volunteering at this
00:06:36.280 HIV organization, I, I was just really moved by compassion, by love. I wanted to help people. Um,
00:06:45.600 and in this realm of comprehensive sex education or public health education, really the belief is
00:06:51.260 that you accept all things. You don't judge anybody. Um, you just serve everyone equally.
00:06:58.100 Um, and so I was really taught to accept every lifestyle, every behavior, nothing was wrong. Just
00:07:04.720 since we're talking about sex education, I was just taught, just teach them how to do things safer.
00:07:11.560 Yeah. Learn about their sexual behavior and then just teach them how to do it safer and then refer
00:07:16.140 them to testing because inevitably they will get a disease and they'll have to get tested early.
00:07:20.960 in order to treat. Um, so it really wasn't about avoiding risky behavior. It was very much about
00:07:28.920 accepting all behavior and really just kind of giving it a bandaid like here, here's, here's a little bit
00:07:36.400 of a hope, use a condom lubrication, but get tested. Yeah. And when you started working with
00:07:44.040 Planned Parenthood, I've heard you say before that even at Planned Parenthood, you wanted,
00:07:51.480 or you kind of felt the urge to tell the young people that you were mentoring and educating with
00:07:56.680 comprehensive sex education about abstinence and about the importance of not having multiple
00:08:05.440 sexual partners. And yet your hand was kind of slapped and you were told, nope, that's not what we do here.
00:08:11.440 So tell us a little more about that. Yeah. I think the reason I reacted that way is because,
00:08:15.920 you know, the way I was raised, I was always supervised by my parents. Um, it wasn't something
00:08:22.980 that I grew up seeing young children being sexually active. Um, it wasn't an expectation and I didn't
00:08:29.440 see that happening. So when Planned Parenthood and the way I got to Planned Parenthood was through
00:08:35.240 this organization that I was working with, the HIV prevention organization, they said,
00:08:39.460 you need to go to Planned Parenthood so they can teach you how to give this same sex ed message,
00:08:43.600 but to children. And so that's when Planned Parenthood started to mentor me. And they gave
00:08:48.980 me all those case studies of children as girls, as young as 10 coming into the clinic. Um, and it's
00:08:55.020 pretty graphic, Allie. I mean, from not only concerned about being pregnant, getting tested for pregnancy
00:09:01.300 and disease, getting abortions, and even removing, uh, toys from their bodies. Um, I mean, it was
00:09:07.480 really, really horrendous. And to me, uh, when you're saying a 10 year old girl coming in with
00:09:12.560 these, you know, in these scenarios, that sounds like abuse to me. Right. Uh, and so obviously we
00:09:18.440 need to intervene. We need to find out who's abusing her. Is she in a environment where this
00:09:23.740 has become normalized and now she's consenting? Is she being trafficked? Is she being trafficked?
00:09:28.720 You know, so all of that was going through my mind. And immediately, uh, the director of sex
00:09:34.580 education of Planned Parenthood of greater Austin, Texas, in that, you know, at that time,
00:09:39.300 and this is still in the nineties, this is in the nineties. Yeah. She just patted me on the knee and
00:09:43.120 she said, no, honey, this is what they want. And we're not going to teach them not to have sex.
00:09:48.560 We're just going to teach them how to do it safer. And she said, this is what they want. So she
00:09:54.240 wasn't concerned at all about consent or about who might be doing this. She was concerned about
00:10:01.620 consent, but this is how they're concerned about consent, Allie. She's saying these girls are
00:10:08.220 consenting. It's what they want. And this is why it takes such an issue with consent language and
00:10:15.080 consent education because it's been twisted by comprehensive sex education. So they love the
00:10:21.380 word consent. Consenting is I consent to do something. I say yes to something. So what
00:10:26.060 they're really teaching our children when they talk about consent is how do you give a yes?
00:10:31.080 And so in their eyes, multiple times, not just during this time when this, um, director was teaching
00:10:37.240 me, I heard from multiple clinics that these young minor girls who were having sex with adult
00:10:43.240 men were consenting, that it's what they wanted, which is why they would not report it and why they
00:10:50.420 said they were not concerned. Right. Um, and so, and I, yeah, I've said that before, which of course,
00:10:57.200 a lot of progressives get angry at this, that consent is not enough when you're talking about
00:11:01.520 virtue, when you're talking about whether something is right or wrong, the simplicity or the simplistic
00:11:07.400 idea of consent, a yes or a no is not enough. But basically she was saying, yes, it is. If they
00:11:14.320 say yes, it really doesn't matter. The scenario don't ask, don't tell. Right. It was very much a
00:11:19.540 don't ask, don't tell. Um, and so when I later on, when I became a title 10 training manager and I was
00:11:26.980 teaching them about human trafficking and statutory rape and that it was now a federal offense,
00:11:31.260 Planned Parenthood said, um, I told, you know, they, they kept telling me like Monica, they want
00:11:36.840 this. This is what these young girls want. They want to be with adult men. So they didn't care if
00:11:40.360 it was a 30 year old guy raping. Of course, that's the language I would use. They might say having sex
00:11:46.460 with a 10 year old girl. They didn't care. No, they didn't. Uh, this was in Corpus Christi. Uh,
00:11:51.720 it was multiple, uh, Planned Parenthoods from the Southern area of Texas. And they assured me,
00:11:58.100 I was teaching them on a key concept of their grant about human trafficking and that they needed
00:12:03.100 to identify victims of human trafficking so that they could report them. Have my long history with
00:12:08.640 Planned Parenthood at that time. I knew that they were not reporting statutory rape because they were
00:12:12.900 very much believing that these girls were consenting. And so when they pushed back on not
00:12:19.360 wanting to report it, I pushed back as well and said, well, it doesn't matter what your opinion is
00:12:25.180 about whether they're consenting or not. The truth is, is that these girls are minors. You know,
00:12:29.460 they're having sex with adults. You are responsible for reporting it, whether you agree with it or not.
00:12:34.980 And that's when they said, Monica, if we don't ask, we don't have to tell. If I don't ask the age of
00:12:40.200 her partner, I don't have to report it. Yeah. And so they knew what they were doing. They still know
00:12:45.680 what they're doing. And, and it's, and Allie, it's really that their worldview is very distorted. So
00:12:51.800 their, their view of our children, their view of sex is all very distorted. So they feel very
00:12:58.100 justified in what they're doing. They think we're the ones that are being judgmental and they don't
00:13:05.060 see that they're actually enabling the trafficking of young girls. Yeah. And let's back up a little
00:13:10.540 bit. So when you started with Planned Parenthood as a volunteer educator, you first kind of came in
00:13:18.040 and you said, okay, well, great. I'm going to teach these nine and 10 year old girls about
00:13:21.300 abstinence. That's, what's going to protect them. They patted you on the knee and said, no, no,
00:13:25.400 that's not what we're doing. Tell us what it looked like after that you did. You started going into
00:13:30.540 schools and you started teaching what Planned Parenthood wanted you to teach. And what was that
00:13:34.960 exactly? Yeah. I, I believe this educator, you know, this director, and I, I stepped back and I thought,
00:13:42.360 well, the government is funding Planned Parenthood. This woman's obviously a professional.
00:13:46.300 Um, I didn't have, it must be right. So I went ahead and did it. And, um, I think one of the first
00:13:53.800 times that I, uh, taught young girls, and this, this is one that I haven't actually spoken about
00:14:00.500 publicly before. Um, I was with my coworker who was more seasoned than me. And, uh, we had these girls
00:14:10.100 in middle school and, uh, we, we, we didn't actually teach in the school. It was in a separate
00:14:16.080 location. I don't remember if it was a club or not a nightclub, but you know, just a separate
00:14:20.680 building, a separate location. And one of the things that I remember about that particular teaching
00:14:26.600 was the role playing. And so when parents talk about, uh, or people talk about what condom
00:14:32.840 demonstrations really look like, um, and what communication skills looks like. Like if you
00:14:38.720 look at a curriculum, they say, Oh, this is community, you know, we're teaching them healthy
00:14:41.640 relationships and communication skills. This is what it really is. What it is, is when we taught
00:14:46.580 them how to use a condom and this is just all girls, we sexualize it. It has to become eroticized.
00:14:52.780 And so we tell the girls that, um, back then I was telling the girls that many times their
00:14:59.020 sexual partners may, and we always use gender neutral language. So we always said it, your
00:15:03.660 sexual partner, even back then, back then we're using gender neutral language. So we basically
00:15:09.160 said you may have a sexual partner that doesn't want to use a condom. They're going to say it
00:15:13.020 doesn't feel good. They don't want to use it, but you need to convince them to use that, which
00:15:17.660 means that you're going to have to learn how to use this condom, how to put it on yourself
00:15:21.140 and take charge. Um, but you can also make it feel good. And so then we would teach them
00:15:28.040 how to eroticize it, how to put it on in an erotic way, how to make sure it feels good
00:15:32.600 just in putting it on nine, as young as nine year old girls. Yeah, this was middle school
00:15:38.360 and high school.
00:15:50.180 And so I guess the justification that a lot of sex educators give is that, well, they're
00:15:56.280 already doing it. They're already thinking about it. They're already talking about it.
00:16:00.540 We're just teaching them how to do all these things in a safe way, but in your safe, quote
00:16:06.140 unquote. Um, but in your experience, I mean, are nine and 10 year old girls thinking about
00:16:11.940 this already, or are sex educators putting these ideas and these scenarios into their minds?
00:16:18.440 It gets put into their minds. They're not thinking those things already. They really are
00:16:22.420 not. Um, I think especially back then in the nineties before the, you know, what we have
00:16:27.960 now with the internet, um, they really were not thinking those things. These things were
00:16:32.460 all new to them. And I would say that there's still even some girls today where a lot of this
00:16:37.000 is very new to them. Um, you know, the next step after teaching them that was to teach them
00:16:43.360 how to talk about it, how to eroticize it through role playing. Um, if, if the sexual partner
00:16:49.000 gave this reason why he didn't want to use it, how could she in a fun way, you know, you
00:16:55.640 know, respond so that he would want to. Um, and so, and, and then we would make them role
00:17:01.120 play that with each other so that they would practice the language. And so what I tell parents
00:17:05.120 today is listen, this is just, it's not just showing them a condom. It's them actually doing
00:17:11.720 the motions and using it. Uh, and then from there it's doing the role playing. So now they're
00:17:17.340 acting it out. Now they're also speaking it. So this is all just really the grooming process
00:17:22.320 of teaching them how to do this to make sure that when they're in that situation, that's
00:17:27.800 what they've practiced. Well, that's what they're going to do. I mean, you're going to
00:17:31.520 do what you practice. If I invite you to come over with your girlfriend so I can teach you
00:17:35.740 how to bake a chocolate cake. I expect that when you leave my house, you're going to go home
00:17:40.760 and bake a chocolate cake. And so it's the same thing with comprehensive sex education. You know,
00:17:45.700 a lot of them are saying, you know, comprehensive sex educators, like, oh, we're not teaching
00:17:49.040 them to have sex. That's still their choice. But really that is exactly what's, what's coming.
00:17:54.160 And there's studies that show that, you know, where there's polls of kids who say that they
00:17:58.340 do feel pressured to become sexually active after going through comprehensive sex education.
00:18:04.380 And because they believe that that is now the expectation, that's what I've been taught.
00:18:08.460 And as I continue to teach teens, at one point, the teens actually responded that way. They actually
00:18:16.080 told me that. There was a situation with, and I don't know if you've heard this particular story,
00:18:21.600 but I was teaching these kids in an alternative school, and again, middle school, about 13 years
00:18:26.720 old. And it was boys and girls. And I did the usual, you know, I would walk in, there was a whiteboard,
00:18:33.620 and I would list the different forms of sex, anal, vaginal, oral. So right away, the kids are
00:18:38.500 thinking, okay, well, those are the three things I'm supposed to do. Then I wrote down the three
00:18:42.920 bodily fluids that transmit HIV or other STDs. So blood, sebum, and vaginal secretions. So now,
00:18:49.420 okay, I'm going to be in contact with blood and all of those things. We're having the conversation
00:18:54.580 about transmission and how to reduce the risk by using condoms, lubrication, things like that.
00:19:00.900 And a little girl raises her hand, and she asks me, and I'll clean up her language, but even,
00:19:08.300 you know, it'll still sound graphic. She just basically said, you know, when I'm involved in
00:19:12.780 this sexual activity, I gag. Can you teach me how to do it better? And that, even then, I had heard so
00:19:20.400 many stories from adults on the street, everywhere. I mean, I had heard it all. But, you know, when you
00:19:27.320 hear a little girl say something like that to you, even me, maybe not another sex educator, but
00:19:32.500 it really did take me aback. I was just very, yeah, it was very jarring. So I repeated the
00:19:40.120 question to her because I wanted her to hear what she had said and then clarify what she thought about
00:19:45.800 it. And so I said, okay, what I hear you saying is that when you're involved in this activity,
00:19:50.540 you have this reaction and you don't like that reaction. She said, that's right. I don't like
00:19:56.200 it. But if you teach me how to do it better, maybe I will. And then I said, have you ever
00:20:01.900 considered just not doing the thing that you don't like? If you don't like it, you don't have to do it.
00:20:08.780 Let's start there. And all those kids turned around and looked at me and they didn't look judged.
00:20:15.740 They didn't look like they had just shut down and put up a wall because Planned Parenthood always
00:20:20.260 says, or anyone in comprehensive sex education, SICUS, Advocates for Youth, it doesn't matter.
00:20:24.560 They're all the same. They always said, if you say anything like that, you're going to make them
00:20:30.880 feel judged and they're just going to shut down and they're not going to share with you anymore.
00:20:34.900 Well, these kids didn't look shut down. They just looked at me like, whoa, tell us more about that.
00:20:39.380 Yeah. Like maybe they were relieved that, hey, another option is that you don't have to do any of
00:20:44.280 these things. And you can actually eliminate the risk altogether. Because when you only present
00:20:49.500 the risks, you think, well, this is inevitable. I mean, these are the risks and I'm going to engage
00:20:55.340 in it. And these are just the risks that I have to choose from. But you can actually choose not to
00:20:59.440 put yourself at risk at all. And basically you were told you're not allowed to tell them the no risk
00:21:04.680 option. Exactly. Because it's not loving. It's not compassionate. It's not empathetic.
00:21:10.560 It's not judging. It's not empathetic. So they really guilt you into thinking that you can't
00:21:14.880 teach kids the best for them. So when I noticed their response, I said, guys, do you realize you
00:21:22.340 don't have to have sex at all? Do you realize? And I pointed at the board. I said, you don't have to
00:21:26.720 have anal sex, oral sex, or vaginal sex. And if you don't, then I pointed to the board again. You
00:21:32.680 won't be in contact with anyone's blood, semen, or vaginal secretions. And if you don't,
00:21:37.560 then you don't have to worry about disease or pregnancy. And the little girl, the same little
00:21:43.640 girl raised her hand again. And she said, ma'am, no one's ever told us that. Wow. And what was
00:21:50.440 really interesting is these kids literally huddled together and started talking about ways that they
00:21:56.020 could avoid sex. They didn't use the word abstinence. And they didn't say, let's avoid sex. They just
00:22:01.580 started to talk about things that they could do with each other that didn't have to do with touching
00:22:06.280 each other's private parts. Like, you know, this was in a community that was very poor. And they
00:22:13.460 had a community center and government housing. And they had free movies and snacks. And so that
00:22:17.740 was one of the suggestions that the kids made is, let's go to the community center and watch free
00:22:23.080 movies and snacks. And then... It's just incredible that this is like a novel idea to them. Yeah. That
00:22:30.120 they could actually like prolong their innocence by doing things that kids are supposed to be doing.
00:22:34.560 Was this a light bulb moment for you? You know, it was. I wouldn't say that it was when I changed
00:22:40.480 completely, but it really was. And these kids came up with amazing ideas of how to practice
00:22:47.000 abstinence without using the word abstinence. They actually came up with ideas that Planned Parenthood
00:22:53.440 would not call... You know, I don't know if you've ever seen Planned Parenthood talk about abstinence,
00:22:57.840 but they talk about things like, oh, if you want to abstain from sex, you can do mutual masturbation.
00:23:02.820 You can touch over your clothes. Like these kids were talking about watching movies, playing
00:23:06.980 basketball. Amazing. A little girl did pull away from the group and came up to me and she whispered
00:23:13.340 and she said, I can't do what they're doing. And I said, well, why not? And she said, well,
00:23:19.060 because I'm already sexually active and everyone expects me to do it. So now I can't stop.
00:23:24.020 It's part of her identity.
00:23:24.880 It was part of our identity. But the fact that she came up to me and said that what she was really
00:23:31.540 doing, and this is what as adults we can see in our children, she was really asking me if that was
00:23:39.180 true. And I said, honey, no one can tell you that you have to be sexually active. I assured her that
00:23:46.340 she could stop having sex and not have sex again ever if she didn't ever want to do it again or until
00:23:52.360 she got married, until she decided. And she smiled brightly and joined the group.
00:23:58.680 These kids are waiting for us to lead. They're waiting for their parents to lead. They're waiting
00:24:06.640 to hear any voice of authority to tell them you don't have to be involved in these high risk
00:24:13.120 activities. And Allie, you know, this consent education has me worried. And I know it has a lot
00:24:20.080 of people worried. But I want I just mentioned this to some parents the other day. What's happening
00:24:24.700 with consent education and the law are two things. The more that comprehensive sex educators talk about
00:24:32.300 consent with children, or teach children consent, we're normalizing the idea that children can even
00:24:39.060 consent to sex. Our laws based on our morality is that children cannot consent to sex until they are
00:24:47.920 adults. Right. So the matter what, it does not matter. Exactly. If they say that they consent to
00:24:53.560 it, or whatever the predator says to justify that kind of interaction. They cannot consent because they
00:25:02.840 don't have the capacity really to do so. That is what our law says. And that is why we have the law,
00:25:08.220 because they don't have the capacity to make that kind of decision, and the consequences of those
00:25:14.120 decisions. So it's a good law. So why are we teaching children how to have sex through comprehensive
00:25:20.660 sex education, if the law says that they're not even allowed to consent to sex? Why are we teaching
00:25:26.060 them to consent, when the law says they can't consent? And a big part of that is because it's starting to
00:25:32.420 normalize it in the community. So now the teachers, the parents, whomever legislators are believing,
00:25:38.900 oh, well, if we're teaching consent, then maybe we need to adjust the law. And then so now we see
00:25:43.700 California reducing the age of consent to 14. A 14 year old now, and it was specifics,
00:25:50.560 Representative Wiener passed this, because he specifically said that there was young gay boys
00:25:56.880 who were having sex with adult gay men, and it shouldn't be illegal. Yeah. I mean, that was really
00:26:03.140 the premise of it. And in addition to that, it was also that if the gap was just 10 years,
00:26:10.040 then that adult would not have to does not have to register as a sex offender in the state of
00:26:15.020 California. So we're even talking about a 20 year old and a 10 year old, we're talking about a 25
00:26:20.760 year old and a 15 year old, if the gap is only 10 years says, yes, his name is Wiener. And it's just
00:26:27.820 wild. But that's what his bill now law says that you don't have to register for a sex offender as long
00:26:33.420 as the gap is 10 years. And he did specifically say that this is advocacy that he's doing on behalf
00:26:39.400 of the LGBTQ community, which, again, is kind of a tell, right?
00:26:46.600 It is, it is. And I think that that is one of the things that I'm telling parents as they're
00:26:53.340 working with legislators, and I want legislators to understand, the more we normalize consent,
00:26:59.340 language and education to our children and to the public in general, and in our in our public health
00:27:06.320 initiatives, we are now giving permission for those kind of laws. So if we're used to believing
00:27:12.480 that children can consent to sex, and that children truly have sexual rights to sexual pleasure as
00:27:18.440 minors, then why won't a state legislator pass consent laws that reduces the age of consent? And all
00:27:27.040 it's doing is giving predators, a lot more ammunition, a lot more protection to be attacking
00:27:35.420 our children and harming our children. Yeah. And so, you know, I talked to a friend of mine who's a
00:27:41.660 survivor of human trafficking. And she now is a counselor, and she counsels young girls that have
00:27:47.400 been rescued from human trafficking. And I asked her about consent language. And she admitted to me that
00:27:52.520 she couldn't speak out against consent language, because she'd be fired. Because even in the
00:27:58.080 trafficking community, they talk about consent. And I saw obviously consent is good. It's been
00:28:03.540 twisted, right? I mean, obviously, consent is a good thing, especially, you know, when we're talking
00:28:07.800 about like to adults, like, I mean, of course, we believe in consent and consent is important. The
00:28:13.840 point is that it is being used as the exclusive gauge of good and bad sexual interaction. That as
00:28:24.240 long as someone consents, then everything else is regardless of age, right? Well, it was interesting.
00:28:31.060 The more we talked, she said, well, Monica, I'll admit that when I work with the girls who've been
00:28:37.420 rescued from trafficking, I actually don't teach them consent. I teach them refusal skills. She said,
00:28:45.480 I teach them how to say no, with no justification, a powerful no, and that they don't have to give a
00:28:54.300 reason why they say no. Yeah. And she said, in the trafficking community, traffickers are masters
00:29:02.400 at getting the children to consent. And she's like, and you see it, you see a young child leave school
00:29:11.520 and on their own, go to wherever the trafficker told them to go to be with an adult and then go home
00:29:20.120 and then go to school the next day. And they're consenting to it. There's a book called Pimpology,
00:29:26.700 not that I want to advertise that, but it's literally a pimp who wrote a book, a how-to book on how to be a
00:29:32.180 pimp. And he's really serious about it. And he, in that book also talks about that, about how he can
00:29:37.560 get women to do whatever he wants. They're consenting and they're loyal. And so this consent or the tactic
00:29:46.460 of consent, or however we want to use that term, has been twisted into something that it should have
00:29:51.900 never been. But it's something that we need to be very careful about as we're looking at legislation,
00:29:57.620 as we're looking at education standards, because currently the way the national sex education
00:30:04.920 standards and all the organizations that adopt those standards are using consent are actually
00:30:11.220 very dangerous for our children. And we need to look out for that.
00:30:14.520 When you mentioned that, you mentioned on your site, and you've mentioned here, 40%
00:30:30.360 of students say that they feel pressured teens, say that their federally funded sex education program
00:30:36.680 made them feel pressured to have sex. What we know about all people, but in particular kids whose minds
00:30:42.780 are just more malleable than the adult mind, is that the power of suggestion is really strong.
00:30:50.520 You suggest an idea that they weren't considering before, whether it's an innocent idea, like,
00:30:55.620 hey, do you want a cupcake? They can't stop thinking about that. They weren't thinking about it before.
00:31:00.360 They would have been satisfied with their broccoli, but now you've suggested the cupcake. That's all they
00:31:04.180 can think about. And so it's the same thing, of course, with even more kind of like tantalizing
00:31:10.840 subjects. You're suggesting things to those kids. It gets in their head. And I have also said this
00:31:16.740 about things like so-called gender identity. We kind of hear the same thing that, oh, well,
00:31:22.560 a kindergarten teacher needs to be talking to these young kids about different forms of sexuality and
00:31:28.160 orientation and different pronouns and different identities because it's natural for them to be
00:31:34.140 thinking about these things anyway. And, oh, we're just educating them. We're just showing them the
00:31:38.720 options. Another word that is used very often that I think is a Trojan horse, kind of like the
00:31:44.400 newfangled form of consent, is inclusion. We're just being inclusive. We're teaching empathy.
00:31:51.380 In reality, you are putting kids down a path of confusion that I think probably causes a lot of
00:31:58.560 psychological distress, if not physical distress down the line. Is that what you're seeing as well?
00:32:04.040 Yes. Comprehensive sex education and the approach of it, it is very much sexualization. And so as
00:32:14.100 you're talking about different orientations, the CDC actually, I'm very protective of youth who have
00:32:21.360 same-sex attraction. The CDC says that children who have same-sex attraction or identify with same-sex
00:32:28.900 attraction are actually at higher risk of getting diseases, having sexual violence. They're at higher
00:32:35.940 risk than their heterosexual peers. My belief is in order to protect those children as well, we need to also
00:32:45.500 teach them how to avoid sex. It doesn't matter if you just want to take a public health approach to this. It
00:32:53.540 doesn't matter what the child, how the child is attracted. The truth is, is that all children
00:33:00.560 deserve to be protected from sexualization. And what I witnessed in, you know, the HIV prevention group
00:33:07.620 that I worked with was a gay organization. And so I spent many years just in the gay community, and I would
00:33:14.980 help out at the different teen groups. And every teen gay group or LGBT group always had a big glass bowl
00:33:24.180 of condoms, a big glass bowl of lubrication, and a catalog to good vibrations, sex toys. And these are
00:33:31.460 all children. And they're being sexualized. And they're, and it is very predatory. And I don't believe
00:33:40.420 that any child, regardless of how they identify, should be put into a position where they are being
00:33:47.160 sexualized, and, and shown that this is what's expected of them. It's not right. Our children
00:33:54.260 deserve to be children. So, you know, and that's just a public health approach. Yeah. But at the same
00:34:01.360 time, you know, these are moral issues. There's, there are many people that I work with that say,
00:34:06.340 Monica, don't make this a moral issue. Well, it is a moral issue. It is a moral issue. The national
00:34:11.640 sex education standards are based on morality. It is a secular worldview, right? It's someone's
00:34:17.740 worldview. It is secular humanism. And it is a moral issue. And so we, the truth is, is that our families
00:34:26.000 are diverse. Every family has different morality. And it's not the school's job, or the government's job
00:34:33.600 to be pushing that kind of morality on other families. Our public school system should be
00:34:40.240 about math and science and history. It's not about morality and emotions and mental health.
00:34:47.460 Yeah. That, that is not their role. It's not their lane. And they're overstepping. And really,
00:34:52.900 they're causing more damage to our children and families than they are helping.
00:34:56.720 Yeah. You raise a really good point. Very often, we hear all forms of public education
00:35:02.800 and the history that's being taught, the sexual education that's being taught. We're told that
00:35:08.080 it's just, it's neutral. But really, there is no neutrality when it comes to this. Everything
00:35:14.300 speaks to a particular worldview, especially when you're talking about something like sex. The
00:35:20.160 comprehensive sexual education curriculum that is in schools, as you said, speaks to the
00:35:26.620 worldview of the people that, like those that you first interacted with when you kind of entered
00:35:33.260 this realm back in the 90s. People who think that consent is just a simple yes, and that needs to be
00:35:41.900 taught to children. The don't ask, don't tell. People who apparently think that the innocence of
00:35:46.760 children is just kind of a myth. And is it something to be protected? That sex is just like any other
00:35:53.180 behavior. You do it. There are some medication strategies that you can put into place, but
00:35:57.900 hey, have your fill. Doesn't really matter. So it really goes back to what they believe about human
00:36:05.180 beings, what they believe about human nature, what they believe about morality that is directly opposed
00:36:11.960 to what we believe as Christians, that all people are made in the image of God, no matter who they are.
00:36:16.380 Therefore, they have value. Therefore, what happens to their body matters. But if you believe that we're
00:36:21.340 just clumps of cells, which Planned Parenthood obviously does, then of course, why would you
00:36:26.940 care about someone's behavior and how it leads to destruction? So everything speaks to a worldview.
00:36:33.180 And your particular position is that parents are the ones who are supposed to be discipling their kids
00:36:39.260 in this kind of thing. They're the ones who are supposed to be implementing their worldview, correct?
00:36:44.060 It is, absolutely. And I came to that conclusion after I finally left that field of work. And I was
00:36:51.580 really seeking out God for answers. And one of the things that he reminded me of...
00:36:55.820 Sorry, let me pause. What was the tipping point? What made you leave?
00:37:00.700 Well, okay. So I shared the story of teaching the Planned Parenthood in South Texas, in Corpus
00:37:08.780 Christi. And that was really my last straw when I saw multiple Planned Parenthoods admitting to me
00:37:15.260 that they did not believe girls who were being preyed on by adult men for sex were not victims of
00:37:22.140 human trafficking and that they wanted it and that perhaps they were even satisfied by it. That was my
00:37:27.580 last straw. I went back to my office, told my supervisor about that, let her know that they refused to
00:37:33.820 protect victims of human trafficking. She got mad at me, told me if I wasn't pro-choice, which is
00:37:39.340 interesting that she used those words. If I wasn't pro-choice, I didn't belong there.
00:37:42.620 And you weren't even talking about abortion.
00:37:44.140 I wasn't. But you know, Allie, it's all linked together.
00:37:47.340 Yeah.
00:37:47.740 Because sex education, as you were just saying earlier about how we view our bodies and our
00:37:53.500 identities, comprehensive sex education that espouses or does espouse and adopts the national sex
00:38:01.100 education standards, is very much about our bodies don't mean anything. Everything is about sexual
00:38:07.980 pleasure. And if you go through their standards, that's all it's about. It's anything goes kind
00:38:13.020 of mentality from birth to tomb. And so what I teach people today.
00:38:17.660 From before birth. I mean, really before birth, when you think about it.
00:38:21.580 That's true.
00:38:22.460 I mean, it is all connected for sure.
00:38:24.700 Yeah. But what happens is that when we teach our children comprehensive sex education and we teach
00:38:30.300 them that their bodies are just things and that you just kind of push some buttons to get some
00:38:35.580 kind of pleasure out of it, you're really teaching our children how to dehumanize each other. And
00:38:40.620 that's what they're doing. They're objectifying themselves. They're objectifying one another.
00:38:45.900 And then it becomes a natural next step to dehumanize the preborn child through abortion.
00:38:50.620 And so it's all connected. There's a reason why Planned Parenthood is also one of the largest
00:38:55.420 providers of sex education. It's their marketing tool for abortion.
00:38:59.820 You have to groom and hormone therapy now all connected. But it also says that the body doesn't
00:39:06.540 matter, that you can identify and say who you are, no matter what your body says.
00:39:10.700 Exactly. And all of it is to destroy God's creation for humanity and marriage and identity and family and
00:39:19.340 sexual intimacy. It's a direct attack on his creation. And so we see this happening.
00:39:26.300 And we go back and we start to wonder, you know, how is this happening? Why is it that family is
00:39:31.500 so important? And that's one of the first things that God showed me is that he reminded me of something
00:39:36.220 that Planned Parenthood would always tell me at the various conferences that I went to where I was
00:39:40.780 training them. And they would always say, Monica, parents are a barrier to service.
00:39:46.460 As soon as a parent knows that their kid is coming to a Planned Parenthood,
00:39:50.780 we never see that kid again because their parents take them out.
00:39:53.740 Parents are a barrier to service.
00:39:55.500 Parents are a barrier to service. And Allie, you're going to see this language in legislation.
00:40:00.940 So now with the trans movement and wanting to transition children's bodies with puberty blockers
00:40:07.340 and surgery, the bills literally say that parents are a barrier to the health care of their children.
00:40:14.140 We're going to start to see this in mental health bills as well, that the government or the school
00:40:19.820 knows better and that parents are really a barrier. And a lot of this, and I don't know if you've
00:40:25.660 watched the mind polluters and it's a film that I'm in as well, but we really talk about how this is
00:40:31.900 happening in the schools with sex education, social, emotional learning, the data mining of our
00:40:36.780 children, how they're being mentally manipulated, how their emotions are being manipulated, all to conform to
00:40:43.100 something that the government is wanting. It sounds like a conspiracy theory, except that
00:40:47.340 the proof is there. We're seeing it in the schools today. We're seeing teachers leaving the schools
00:40:53.660 because they don't want to be a part of it. And then we're seeing those who stay are compromising to it.
00:40:59.020 And so we're just seeing that these programs and these approaches are meant to destroy the family,
00:41:10.540 to tear them apart. You don't have to go to your parents to go to the doctor. We can show you how
00:41:16.220 to do it without your parents' consent or knowledge. It's now called adolescent confidentiality.
00:41:22.780 You know what, there's all kinds of terms that they're using, but they're basically wanting to
00:41:27.900 give quote unquote, our children, their own sexual rights, their own rights to be able to do these
00:41:33.980 things without parental knowledge, to liberate them from the parent, whether it's a COVID vaccine
00:41:39.980 or other vaccines. We're seeing that parents more and more are being, there's, they're creating a wedge
00:41:47.740 between parents and their children. And so that's one of the reasons I started It Takes a Family many
00:41:53.020 years ago, is I realized that if Planned Parenthood is saying that parents are barrier to service,
00:41:58.380 what they're really saying is we're afraid of parents. We're afraid of families who actually
00:42:03.660 talk to their children and who care about what their, what their children are up to. Parents who
00:42:08.380 actually have a good attachment to their children, that's who they're afraid of. And so that's what we
00:42:13.500 need to be doing is we need to focus back on this issue of fatherlessness. We need to start talking
00:42:18.620 more about, you know, how do we strengthen our marriages? How do we strengthen the role of the
00:42:24.700 wife and the role of the husband? How do they then learn their role as parents? And how do the children
00:42:31.180 understand their role within the family and their purpose and their value within the family? I've met even
00:42:38.220 Christian families who have said, or even asked my permission, Monica, is it okay if I look at my
00:42:43.820 child's phone? Why are families, adults or even Christian adults asking if it's okay to look at a
00:42:51.500 child's phone? We obviously have lost our identity or our understanding of what it is to be a parent.
00:42:59.740 And so when we can start strengthening families, not only by understanding our role and our authority and the
00:43:07.100 power that we have, I mean, here's the truth. A lot of times people say, well, you know, kids don't
00:43:13.020 really want to listen to their parents and they're going to roll their eyes and they don't listen to
00:43:15.900 parents anymore. Well, all that is false. Do they roll their eyes? Yes. Do kids really want boundaries
00:43:22.780 being set by their parents because it makes them feel loved? Absolutely. When in college, I also worked
00:43:28.620 at a children's shelter. All these children had been abused and now lived in this home and we were their
00:43:33.740 house parents. And no matter how awful of a history I read on each of those children, there was one thing
00:43:43.420 that that child wanted more than anything else. And it was to go back to mom and dad. It didn't matter
00:43:49.500 what had happened to them. That strong draw to be with your biological parents and to have them love you
00:43:57.740 and protect you is so strong. And I say that to parents every day that within our families as well, our children
00:44:05.540 are waiting for us to lead. They're waiting for us to set boundaries for them. They're waiting for us to have
00:44:11.800 conversations with them. And so that's part of what I do with It Takes a Family is I help parents understand the
00:44:18.560 culture, what is going on, understand the studies so that when the topic comes up, whether they bring it up or their
00:44:25.560 child brings it up, they're able to speak intelligently about what's happening in the world and give their
00:44:31.120 children an answer. Because what we're hearing now is that children are learning at the school about all
00:44:37.740 these different ideologies. And they're being told that parents are just outdated, old fashioned, they don't
00:44:44.440 understand. And they're literally coming home and being very demeaning to their parents, acting as though the
00:44:51.840 parents don't know anything. But when a parent can then say, I know a thing or two about this movement or this
00:44:58.280 ideology, and let me tell you more about what happens when someone transitions, because I read in the New Atlantis
00:45:04.320 about this, then all of a sudden, you can take your authority back and you can give your child truth. And now they're
00:45:10.460 able to give a proper loving and compassionate response in the world as well.
00:45:21.840 And it's also so important for parents to really be proactive in this rather than reactive, because I do think
00:45:32.520 that you have a leg up as a parent, if you are the first one to talk to your kid about something, obviously, when
00:45:38.700 it's age appropriate, based on their maturity level, and you disclose the information that you want to disclose
00:45:44.260 based on the situation, which is another reason why it should be parents introducing these topics, because you do have
00:45:51.440 the authority, you have the best interest of your child's body and mind at heart, and you know, particularly where they
00:45:58.120 are, you can know, are their friends already talking about this stuff? Do they have friends that are behaving in this
00:46:05.000 way? Or are they totally not thinking about this stuff at all? Is this not on their radar? And so it's not time for me to
00:46:11.260 talk about that. But really, only the parent knows, which is another reason why that is not the role of the
00:46:17.780 state. It's not the role of the school, which unfortunately, that's basically the same, the state and the
00:46:23.060 school right now that is giving this comprehensive sex education. But parents, as you said, having the
00:46:29.120 confidence to talk to their kids about it first, when it is time and when it is appropriate and how it is
00:46:37.060 appropriate is so important, because kids are looking for that. They're looking for those parameters.
00:46:43.740 They're looking for someone to give them clarity in a world that is so chaotic and confusing.
00:46:49.120 They are. They're looking for clarity, and they're looking for the ideal. I get that a lot from young
00:46:55.140 people in their 20s. Like they're asking Miss Monica, what is the ideal for marriage? What is the ideal for
00:47:00.020 relationships? What is the ideal for parenting? They want the ideal. They want to know. They want some
00:47:05.860 clarity, and they want a good standard. They recognize that comprehensive sex education is not good enough.
00:47:12.320 It's really setting the bar really, really low. And they're tired of it. They want real relationships
00:47:18.520 with people. And our children do too. And you're absolutely right, Allie. Only a parent knows what
00:47:24.960 their child is ready to hear. When I was teaching my son, he would ask a question about his body or
00:47:32.120 where do babies come from, things like that throughout his life. And I would let him know, I'm going to answer
00:47:36.860 that question as fully as I can for your age right now. You know, the way I think, you know, what you're
00:47:42.960 ready for. I said, but even in my answer, if at any point, you don't want to hear anymore, just raise your
00:47:49.440 hand, say, Mom, that's enough. And I won't ask you any questions. We'll just move on. And he did that at least
00:47:55.580 three times in his life. Just let me know, Mom, that's enough. That's enough. That's enough. And it would be like,
00:48:00.640 you know, three, six months later, he'd ask again, and then he was ready to hear a little bit more.
00:48:05.000 You're not going to get that in the classroom at all. You know, we've heard stories of kids fainting
00:48:11.760 in some of these classrooms, because it was it was the image imagery that they were showing them was
00:48:16.320 too much. We've had, you know, cases where kids who've been sexually abused as children, who then go
00:48:23.440 through comprehensive sex education, and it actually triggers their PTSD, of course, because they're
00:48:28.440 talking about things that actually happen to them as little kids. Or we have children who are being
00:48:35.680 abused, who now learn comprehensive sex education in such a, quote unquote, positive way. And they
00:48:41.560 can't distinguish between what's happening to them as abuse versus that they're supposed to be sexually
00:48:47.420 active at this age, and they get very confused. So this does not belong in the schools. Yeah. And I
00:48:54.300 would also just really encourage parents that even if you were to seek out sex education, do not seek
00:48:59.660 out comprehensive sex education. You have to ask yourself, what are your standards? What are your
00:49:05.700 beliefs? Do you have a worldview? I think about this a lot, because I didn't really have a strong worldview
00:49:11.760 when I went to college. So then I realized, well, if I did have a strong worldview, then I would know
00:49:18.260 what to base it on. I would know what I would consider to be appropriate or not appropriate
00:49:23.520 for myself. And parents need to be asking themselves those kind of questions. I think the other thing I
00:49:28.220 tell parents that's really important is just because we teach our children, let's say a Christian
00:49:33.700 standard, God's creation for man and woman, male, female, identity, marriage, family, and sexual intimacy.
00:49:40.720 We need to also recognize that our children are sinful just like we are. And they're on their own
00:49:47.800 journey and they're going to make their own decisions at some point. It's important for us
00:49:52.880 as moms and dads to figure out today, how will I respond if my child does see pornography? How will I
00:50:00.780 respond if this does happen? You know, I've had parents say that, you know, they taught their children
00:50:06.780 about, you know, waiting until marriage and maybe a child decided not to do that. And now all of a sudden
00:50:13.460 they had to face that reality. And it wasn't to allow that child to continue in that behavior.
00:50:18.580 If anything, those parents said, well, now we had to set up new boundaries to protect our child from
00:50:24.060 doing that again. And so these are things that parents need to be thinking about because the last
00:50:29.200 thing we want to do is that when our child does fall, that we're going to judge them, get mad at them
00:50:35.180 in such a way that they may shut down altogether. So we want to be able to be proactive to know how
00:50:41.040 to offer forgiveness and grace and new boundaries to help protect our children and help them to grow
00:50:49.160 into adulthood. Yeah. I have a few more questions for you about that, but I do want to back up a
00:50:54.760 little bit and hear more about your journey personally. You said that you were seeking God,
00:51:00.740 asking him questions after you stopped volunteering at Planned Parenthood and stopped being a family
00:51:06.440 planning educator. What did that look like? What did the road look like from that to where you are
00:51:12.900 now? That's a big about face. Well, I didn't just teach comprehensive sex education. I adopted the
00:51:19.700 philosophy in my life. So I was a promiscuous young adult. I just took on the full philosophy of that.
00:51:28.080 I objectified myself. I objectified other people. I believe Planned Parenthood, when they said it was
00:51:33.400 empowering, that I was an empowered woman, I was independent, I could get mine. It was always also
00:51:40.000 that men were bad and selfish. And so women had to get theirs and treat them just as selfishly as they
00:51:46.500 treated us. Feminism. Right. So I believed in all those things. And every time I would fall into a
00:51:52.860 depression because I really didn't like what I was doing, I would then remember all the things that
00:51:59.540 Planned Parenthood told me, you're independent, you're a strong woman. And that was how I'd make
00:52:05.540 myself feel a little better temporarily. And it never really worked. I say all that to say that I
00:52:10.440 eventually did find myself facing an unplanned pregnancy. And I immediately scheduled an abortion
00:52:16.080 because that's what this education teaches. It's an automatic. You don't stop to think,
00:52:21.220 this is a child. I'm a mom. You don't think those things. You literally just think,
00:52:25.720 oh, abortion. And they train you not to even think about the moral question. And that's still what
00:52:32.680 we hear in the media today. It avoids the moral question or the wrestling that women have and
00:52:38.540 should have when it comes to ending the life of a human being. Right, right. But we're also not
00:52:44.400 teaching people about pregnancy. We're not teaching about fetal development. So that's not in comprehensive
00:52:51.660 sex education. They're not talking about how pregnancy happens and fetal development. You
00:52:57.960 would think that that would make it in the comprehensive part. A little bit, but not in
00:53:02.760 the way that I'm suggesting. In other words, if parents were to really teach their children
00:53:07.620 about pregnancy and that pregnancy means you've become a mom or a dad because you've conceived a
00:53:13.320 child with a woman. So you become a dad or even fetal development so that they understand that life
00:53:19.460 begins at fertilization. If we had some of those things, if we, and this is why we're seeing the,
00:53:24.400 you know, like students for life and the younger generation being so powerful with their pro-life message
00:53:29.280 is because through technology, they witnessed their siblings in their mother's wombs, you know,
00:53:34.660 so they got to see that. They got the education that life begins at fertilization. And so they have
00:53:40.620 this respect for life. And so, but when, through comprehensive sex education, you're not going to see that
00:53:47.140 and you're not going to hear that. You're just going to talk about prevention, period. And, um,
00:53:52.640 and I won't share the details of what that looks like unless you want me to, but we talk about it
00:53:56.920 in such a way that you just don't want the sperm to get into the vagina kind of thing. Um, but that's
00:54:02.440 it. And then if it does, you have an abortion. It's literally, that's it. So I scheduled my abortion
00:54:09.600 and, um, I ended up calling a good friend of mine who I had actually gone to an abortion clinic with
00:54:15.540 her in college and she, she had her abortion. Um, it was a horrific event. It took all day,
00:54:23.820 seven in the morning till seven at night. Um, it was, it was a very depressing, horrible experience
00:54:32.140 to be at that abortion clinic in Austin. And this was your abortion or your friend's abortion in
00:54:38.220 college. Right. And so I witnessed her go through that. And so when I scheduled my abortion,
00:54:43.520 she's the first person I called cause I knew she would understand. And so all I knew about abortion
00:54:49.540 from my girlfriends was that they were very quiet about it, but they were also very depressed about
00:54:54.540 it. They just never talked about it. So we would just sit in silence and care for whoever just had
00:55:00.340 the abortion. Um, so I called her, I called her for that weird support to do something that no one
00:55:09.320 really talked about. Validation. Just validation. Yeah. Just, you know, okay, you're going to be
00:55:14.280 good, you know, kind of thing. And at this point she was married and had her first son.
00:55:21.380 And when I told her I was pregnant, she started celebrating on the other end of the phone.
00:55:27.320 And I said, no, no, there, there is no celebrating. I scheduled an abortion. And she was like, oh,
00:55:33.020 forget about that. And she just continued to like, Allie, do you have a friend that when you
00:55:37.200 talk to her on the phone or in person, you can't get any word in edgewise? Cause she just talks
00:55:42.420 and she's really excited. This was my friend. She was so excited that she just would not let
00:55:47.900 me speak. And she just went on and on and on about my baby. And she started to just imagine
00:55:53.560 her as a little first as a boy and then as a girl. And what if she has your eyes and what if she has
00:55:59.180 your personality, you know, a little Moniquita. And she just continued to imagine my child
00:56:04.020 until I started imagining my child.
00:56:07.760 And you hadn't even thought about it really like that. And were you with the father?
00:56:11.420 I had moved in with my boyfriend and I had been disowned by my parents because I moved in with my
00:56:17.240 boyfriend. Cause even though we didn't go to church, we were a traditional family and you do
00:56:21.800 not move in with your boyfriend. So, um, yeah. So all of a sudden I started, as she was celebrating
00:56:29.520 on the phone, I started thinking to myself, why am I, why am I doing this? Why? And for the first
00:56:35.040 time, all of a sudden I asked myself, why am I going to kill my baby? And I answered myself, I said,
00:56:42.640 well, my parents just disowned me for moving in with my boyfriend. They're going to be really mad
00:56:47.960 when I tell them I'm pregnant. And I thought, am I really going to kill my child? Cause my parents
00:56:53.000 are going to be mad at me. Like, this is not the last time they're going to be mad at me.
00:56:56.340 And it just, all of a sudden I just changed. And I told my friend, you're right. I'm going to have
00:57:01.520 this baby. And she said, well, of course you are. And so of course I canceled that abortion
00:57:06.960 and, and I did have my son and it was a great pregnancy. But what had happened is that there
00:57:14.600 really wasn't a real commitment in my relationship. And that relationship had been based on a lot of
00:57:22.560 objectification. Um, it was not a solid relationship. It was just kind of more convenient.
00:57:28.940 Did I feel love? Yes. Um, but it was not founded on any kind of commitment and he did not want to
00:57:37.260 be married. Um, and so. How did he feel when you told him, yeah, I'm keeping the baby? Um, he,
00:57:43.980 well, one, he did what, what men are taught to do. Um, he just said, whatever your decision is,
00:57:50.720 I'll support. Yeah. I hear that a lot. And men think that they're being virtuous.
00:57:55.440 Exactly. And so that's what he said. And then when I told him I was going to have the child, he,
00:58:01.460 he was not negative about it at all. Um, he did say, are you sure about this? Cause I'm about to
00:58:06.720 tell my mom and if, and she'll be happy about it. And if you change your mind, it'll devastate her.
00:58:12.620 And I said, no, I, that passivity goes back to the garden of Eden, man. Yeah. Yeah. So it's
00:58:17.900 still passivity. So, but I said, no, I do. I'm going to have this child. And she was, she was very
00:58:22.280 happy. His mother was very happy. Um, but he, the reality of having a child really hit him
00:58:30.720 and he just couldn't handle that. And so by the time my son was two years old, he left
00:58:36.900 and left us on our own. And, um, but what's interesting is that, you know, the relationship
00:58:44.500 wasn't healthy. Um, he was gone most of the time, uh, very unfaithful. Uh, so there was a lot of
00:58:51.400 darkness in our household. And when my son turned a year old, um, in that first year of his life,
00:58:58.320 I had a lot of depression and I sought out a lot of new age things. Um, and then one day I just,
00:59:06.000 it's hard to explain, but I realized that God had been intervening in my life, protecting me
00:59:12.880 and was asking me to be part of his family. And I was, Allie, I was not one of those people who
00:59:20.220 would accept Christ. If you had come up to me and asked me if I knew Jesus, I probably would have
00:59:25.740 cursed you out and told you to get out of my face. You were hostile. I was a very hostile person. I was
00:59:30.240 and Planned Parenthood, I imagine kind of fosters that and encourages that attitude. They probably see
00:59:35.700 Christians as crazy fundamentalist. Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, barrier to service, they might
00:59:42.500 say. Right, right. Yeah. You're judging, uh, Christians are judging. Um, and so, and in mean
00:59:48.360 and hateful. So, um, I, I only, I only knew of one church in Austin, Texas. There's lots of churches,
00:59:55.380 but I only knew of one. And I went to that church. I took my son with me and I, I accepted the call,
01:00:02.480 uh, by the pastor and I accepted Christ as my, as my savior. And I got home and I told my boyfriend,
01:00:08.440 I said, I think I just got saved. I think that's what that means. And I wasn't sure if it meant that
01:00:13.660 or not. And so every time I went to church, I kept doing the same prayer over and over again,
01:00:17.860 because I was so afraid it didn't stick. Um, but I never left. And so for that first year of being a
01:00:23.920 Christian, my son was with me at church every Sunday, I was in the word every day. And there
01:00:30.760 was such a spiritual battle. And the closer I got to Christ, the worse his father got until finally
01:00:37.760 one day he just left. And I was very devastated. And I was at the park with my son. I was doing all
01:00:45.480 the things that I always did with my son. I was a very devoted mother. Um, that changed me just
01:00:50.020 knowing that I became a mom. I became my own mom. I did everything my mom did, which I,
01:00:54.860 I just was committed to my child. And, uh, it all of a sudden one day at, uh, at a park by myself
01:01:02.120 with my son, I was crying that I was all by myself. And all of a sudden I realized, well,
01:01:07.100 nothing's changed. He was never with us anyway. He didn't play with us. He didn't spend time with us.
01:01:12.320 So, um, I really clung on to Isaiah 54, where God tells us that he is our savior, our redeemer,
01:01:19.880 our husband. I accepted God as being the provider of my little family. And I kept pressing forward.
01:01:27.760 And, uh, I had devotionals in my office. I was still working as a comprehensive sex educator.
01:01:33.040 I was actually managing other outreach workers. Um, I, without knowing it, I had, uh, drug users
01:01:41.500 coming into my office, reading my devotionals, um, because they were there cleaning, um, after,
01:01:47.680 after, you know, after we would leave. And so if I would take a devotional, a lot of them would say,
01:01:51.940 I need you to bring that back. Cause I take a break and I read it. Um, and I just started becoming,
01:01:57.820 and I don't mean this arrogantly, but not knowing I started becoming light and salt in my office.
01:02:05.060 And, uh, and then finally to the point that I, I finally realized I couldn't work there anymore
01:02:10.700 and I had to do something about it. Um, and so it was, it was, it's a, it's a bigger story. Um,
01:02:16.380 but it was a huge journey of needing to, it was really a journey of God saving me from my own self
01:02:24.840 and my own decisions and then offering me that forgiveness of everything I had done,
01:02:29.980 not only to myself, but what I had taught other people in the community.
01:02:34.040 Yeah. And he redeemed what was evil and he's used it for good. And I love that characteristic of God
01:02:41.520 that it's not like he just, he only moved you out of that industry and into something else that would
01:02:48.380 have been fine too, but he literally like turned what you were doing on its head. So he's
01:02:54.580 using all of the experiences that you had before Christ. And rather than just saying,
01:03:00.000 let's forget about that, but no, even more, I'm sure frustrating for Satan using all of those
01:03:08.000 experiences, not to accuse you, but for his glory and for the good of other people. And isn't that
01:03:13.980 what Christ does? And that is full redemption. Yes. When God can use our past to now glorify him
01:03:21.580 in our present, in our future and bring others to him. And so that has been an interesting journey
01:03:26.920 to see how he can use me because even in church today, there are certain people who are attracted
01:03:34.760 and know that they can come and speak to me, whether they know my story or not, but they know
01:03:39.480 that they're safe with me. And so I'm still working with the marginalized because they feel safe with
01:03:44.340 me. And it's the same love of Christ that I can serve them with. And so if he can forgive me,
01:03:49.620 then I know he can forgive them. Yeah. And so it's, it's been a great journey to see him
01:03:53.960 use my past that I was so ashamed of to now glorify him and help other people.
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01:04:51.280 your socks. That's blaze socks.com. Let me just ask is Planned Parenthood and the comprehensive sex
01:05:01.880 education. And gosh, there's so many different facets and so many different people and so much
01:05:06.680 money behind it. All of that world that you left, would you say that it's still doing the same
01:05:13.260 things today, covering up for abusers, grooming children? Is it worse? Is it different?
01:05:19.460 It's absolutely the same. I think that technology has allowed them to do a lot more, but literally the
01:05:25.380 curricula are no different. The comprehensive sex education that we provided in the nineties is
01:05:31.440 exactly what they're providing today. Uh, but just on steroids, there's even more, uh, you know, now
01:05:37.600 we have a maze.com, all these little cartoons that are presented to children. It's, it's incredibly,
01:05:43.880 it's shocking that it's even legal that those videos exist. Um, so they just have the ability
01:05:51.480 to, to go further, but, but so do we, you know, we have the ability to go further as well. Um, but it
01:05:58.140 hasn't changed. They continue to feel the same way. They're, they're not reporting trafficking. Um,
01:06:05.160 they're very proud of what they're doing. Planned Parenthood told me that they were proud to serve
01:06:09.460 pimps and their prostitutes because then where else would they get abortions and who else would
01:06:14.520 provide them with healthcare? So they felt very proud about what they were doing. We're working
01:06:19.660 with people who are very distorted in their mind and in their hearts and they don't fully understand
01:06:26.620 what they're doing, but they are, what we need to understand is that they are doing it and they're
01:06:31.820 doing it aggressively and we need to become that barrier to make it stop. Yeah. Everyone is seeking
01:06:38.980 to disciple and indoctrinate your child. If you break down that word indoctrinate, it's just placing
01:06:44.780 your doctrines inside someone. I think that a lot of people say, oh, all indoctrination is bad. Well, no,
01:06:50.440 some doctrines are good and some doctrines are bad. And actually we should be teaching our doctrines
01:06:55.280 to our children. And if we don't, the world is going to, um, can you just give a final message?
01:07:01.060 We talked, um, a little bit, uh, a little bit ago, you were told that the education that you are
01:07:07.140 giving was compassionate, that it was empathetic and that teaching abstinence and self-control
01:07:12.860 and honoring your body and others' bodies was a form of judgment. I still think that a lot of
01:07:19.080 women, especially moms and Christian women are manipulated by that language today,
01:07:24.340 especially in the abortion debate. We're told, well, if you don't believe in legally killing
01:07:29.540 the child inside the womb, you better be pro-comprehensive sex education because we're
01:07:35.340 told that that is what is preventing abuse. That's what's preventing unwanted pregnancies.
01:07:40.660 And the empathetic, kind, loving, even Christ-like thing to do is to present all of these things to
01:07:48.100 kids and to never say something is right or wrong. So what message do you have to Christian
01:07:54.320 women who find themselves manipulated and bullied by what I call toxic empathy?
01:08:00.960 Right. As soon as I left, I learned something very important. There's a big difference between
01:08:08.500 love and compassion in the world and a big difference between love and compassion as a
01:08:12.700 Christian. And, um, in the world, I was very loving and compassionate to the children and to the
01:08:19.560 other adults in the high-risk neighborhoods that I served, but I serve them not with truth.
01:08:26.160 And so when I serve them with love and compassion, I led them down a road of high-risk behavior
01:08:32.640 with this false belief that the condom lubrication was going to work. And because we knew it wouldn't,
01:08:39.840 they would then, we were, they were always encouraged to get tested for diseases and encouraged to come in
01:08:44.440 to have abortions. That is not loving and compassionate. That is leading someone down a dark path of more hurt
01:08:53.800 to their body and to their spirits and their emotions. That's not compassionate. What was compassionate was
01:09:00.900 when God met me where I was at. And see, this is what comprehensive sex educators say that they do.
01:09:06.440 Meet them where they're at and then serve them. Well, they meet them where they're at and they continue to lead
01:09:12.880 them into high-risk behaviors. God met me where I was at and he loved me. And he took me out of that
01:09:20.160 into a better life, a life where I wasn't exposed to disease, a life where my child would not be
01:09:26.440 fatherless. It's, it's, there's a huge difference. So when you're serving with love and compassion
01:09:32.380 and you don't have truth, then you are going to be led a very dark road. And so my message for those
01:09:39.700 women out there who want to express love and compassion by affirming behaviors that are
01:09:45.920 actually harming people, the more you affirm that, the more you ignore it, the more it'll be normalized
01:09:52.540 in your own mind. And that darkness will change you and that darkness will change your household as
01:09:59.260 well. And so until we know what is true and you understand what standards you're going to choose to
01:10:06.720 follow, your, your, um, the, the path that you go down is going to be very different.
01:10:13.740 Yes. And so if you choose secular humanism and you want to use that as your guide, then you will
01:10:21.500 have to deal with the diseases and the unplanned pregnancies and such. But if you have this other
01:10:27.280 standard of valuing your body, understanding how you were created, then you will have a different path
01:10:33.540 altogether. So I think we have to understand that our love and our compassion is guided. The rudder of
01:10:40.340 that is what truth are you believing? Yes. Have you read Love Thy Body by Nancy Pearson? I have. Yes.
01:10:46.000 If you haven't had her on your show yet, I don't know if you have, then you should, because y'all would
01:10:50.160 be wonderful together. But thank you so much for your insight and for sharing your story. You are going
01:10:55.440 to help so many moms and just parents, people, um, today. And I really recommend everyone go subscribe
01:11:03.760 to your show. They can listen to it wherever they listen to podcasts, the Monica Klein show. Um, is there
01:11:10.000 anything else you want to tell people? Where can they go to find you? Sure. They can also find me at
01:11:14.520 it takes a family.org. Okay. Awesome. Thank you so much, Monica. Thanks, Allie.