Ep 717 ｜ From Porn Star to Pastor ｜ Guest： Joshua Broome
Episode Stats
Length
1 hour and 4 minutes
Words per Minute
186.90877
Summary
Joshua Broom, who spent years as an award-winning porn star, has been on the receiving end of God's grace, and as a result, his life has changed. God is using his powerful testimony for His glory, and to save people s souls.
Transcript
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Do not be deceived, neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who
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practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers
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will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you, but you were washed, you were
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sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
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1 Corinthians 6, 9 through 11. God is in the business of redeeming the seemingly unredeemable,
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forgiving the seemingly unforgivable. He is in the business of redemption, of bringing beauty out of
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ashes and making a new creation out of sinners. Joshua Broom, who spent years as an award-winning
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porn star, has been on the receiving end of that grace, and as a result, his life has changed.
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And God is using his powerful testimony for his glory and to save people's souls. You will hear
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all about that story and testimony today. We go all the way back to his childhood to today and how God
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has used his story in incredible ways. I'm so excited for you to be encouraged and empowered,
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emboldened by his story. This episode, as always, is brought to you by our friends
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at Good Ranchers. Now, without further ado, here is Joshua Broom.
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Joshua, thank you so much for joining us. I know a lot of people have heard your testimony,
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maybe on other podcasts, and you've been sharing God's story in your life for a while. But for those
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who aren't familiar, just tell us a little bit about who you are, what you do.
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Yeah. So today I am the founder of a nonprofit called Finding Hope, and that's something that
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my wife and I, we operate. And I travel and essentially do itinerant preaching. But regarding
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my backstory, do you want me to go there as well? Yes. Well, yes, we can. So tell us, so you're a
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preacher now. Yeah. Like you said, an itinerant preacher. You're traveling the country. You've been
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sharing your testimony. But several years ago, it would have been kind of unbelievable that this
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would have been your future and the role that God has for you. Why is that? What is that path that
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makes it so unpredictable? Yeah. So I grew up in a super small town in South Carolina,
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Pageland, South Carolina. So we have the honor and privilege of being the self-proclaimed
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watermelon capital of the world. That's cool. I did not know that.
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But 13, 14, I started modeling and acting. And growing up without a father played a significant
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role in that because someone who has a high achieving personality paired with a high level of
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inadequacy, I believed that I needed to earn my validation. So with school, with sports,
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and then with modeling and acting, it became about getting the job, getting the role.
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So you grew up without a dad. How did that happen?
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Yeah. So my mom had me when she was 16. And then being in a small town, it was different than a lot of
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stories that I've heard because literally there's one grocery store. I'm seeing him as I get older.
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So he's living in close proximity to me. And he's just not in my life, which was confusing and
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challenging at the same time. Yes, I can imagine. So they still live close by. Did they have any kind
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of relationship or friendship? Not, I mean, not really. I think it was one of those things where
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he tried to reach out a few times. And then, you know, I was living, you know, with my grandmother
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and grandfather, along with my mom, but, you know, they're trying to protect her, protect me.
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That, you know, that guardian mentality where it's like, you've hurt him already.
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And I don't know. I don't know why it didn't happen. But I think like there was enough failed
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attempts where it just stopped happening. Yeah. And it was probably really confusing for you. Do you
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remember, though, growing up, you said that you would maybe run into him at the grocery store. I'm sure
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that was hard. Do you remember a longing to know him and want a relationship with him? Or was it kind
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of just, well, this is how things are? Oh, for sure. Longing for I mean, I grew up like, kind of in a
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rural area. So the friends that I had in school, like weren't in close proximity to me. So I found
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myself, you know, playing one on one basketball with an imaginary person, you know, playing football
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outside, like throwing the football into bushes, like wanting, wanting that dad there. Yeah. And, you know,
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my grandfather, like was awesome. And he took me fishing, but I never really had like,
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like a male leadership, like any kind of like male leadership or role model in my life. And that
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was definitely something I longed for. And especially when my peers had that, and I didn't.
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Yeah. And when you started, you said you started modeling when you were about 13.
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So how did that happen? Was your mom just like, hey, you're handsome. Let's try this out. Or how did
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Yeah. So like way back in the day, you would just be walking through a mall and they were
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doing these like searches. And then someone, her name was Donna. She like grabbed me. She
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was like, hey, you know, me and my mom said, would you be interested in this? And, you know,
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we paid to do some like promo shots and then, you know, landed up like on her like roster.
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And it just, you know, went to a convention or something like that. And then did some promo
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Okay. And then tell me about your story that that's how you kind of got into the in front
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of the camera industry. How did that develop over time?
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Yeah. So ended up studying theater for a while in college and then was working doing some
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modeling or doing some acting more modeling than acting, even though I wanted to act more.
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Um, but I thought, okay, if I put myself in closer proximity to the industry that I want
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to be in, it makes sense if, you know, if this is what I want to do with my life. So I ended up
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dropping out of school in like my second semester of my, of my sophomore year in college and I moved
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to Hollywood. And while I was out there, like many people, it's like, okay, you know, you haven't,
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I got an agent and I started working a little bit, but it wasn't consistent enough where it was
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paying my bills. So like everyone else, I was, you know, found myself in a restaurant working
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at bartending, uh, like waiting tables and whatnot. And while I'm there, there was a group of girls
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there and I'm going to walk over there and, you know, use my Southern charm and maybe get a big tip
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or, or maybe their number or whatever. And very quickly they asked me like, Hey, are you interested
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in acting? And I was like, yeah, well, we're talking about pornography. And I was like,
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what? Is that the word they use? They use just pornography or did they use? Okay. I didn't
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know if there was like a euphemism that they kind of used to try to reel people in.
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No, it was just like crystal clear. And they were like, Hey, um, the way this would work would be,
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we would introduce you to our agent and you guys would have a conversation and it would go from
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there. And it was like kind of shock and awe because in a very real way that someone that might
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struggle with pornography today, it's like, you probably don't really associate those people
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on that screen as a real person. Yeah. And in a very real way, these people are inviting me into
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their world. And I was like, these are real people. Yeah. And did you consider yourself a
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Christian at that point? Well, that's a great question. That's, that's my favorite question to
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answer, but, um, I would say yes. I would say I would, I would have said that I was a Christian,
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but I absolutely was not. I mean, you were raised in the Bible bell. It was just kind of like, well,
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of course I'm a Christian because I live in South Carolina. Yeah. Right. Yeah. It was just
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through acknowledgements. Like, is God real? Yes. Do I go to church? Yes. Did he create everything?
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Yes. And that's where it stopped. Yeah. I missed the access point. But in college, did you try to
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maintain that? I don't know if you would call it like religiosity as well. Had you stopped going to
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church at this point that you were in Hollywood? Yeah. I, I, I, I pretty much stopped going to church.
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So I went to church with my grandparents. Um, but then my mom got married when I was like
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seven or eight. Oh, okay. So she did get remarried. Yeah. She got married, um, very toxic relationship,
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drugs, abuse, all that. Yeah. Not to bring us all the way back, but just to connect the dots,
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that stepdad was not, did not fulfill that father role that you were longing for growing up.
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Absolutely not. And that was a toxic situation. Was it an abusive situation for you and for your mom?
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Just my mother. Okay. So I'm sure that added to the longing for safety and for security to belong
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to someone. And also just the anxiety and trauma of one, not having your dad around, but also seeing
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the person who was taking care of you, your mom put into a place of danger. I'm sure that was hard.
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Yeah. It was like, it was like a three, it was like three, three, three and a half years of just a
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whirlwind. Yeah. Um, but. And so did that contribute then? So after modeling, you go to
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Hollywood, you mentioned in the beginning that you were always kind of just looking for success
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and looking for your place. Would you say that even that kind of, um, traumatic situation with
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your stepdad and your upbringing contributed to that? Like you need to get out the door. You need
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to do your own thing. You need to find your own way because the people at home aren't going to be the
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ones that are really able to care for you. I would say yes. And in a, in a very real way,
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it distorted by the picture of like a father in my head, which, which interrupts, you know, the,
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the, the correct way to see the father. Right. You know? Okay. So sorry for like going backwards and,
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but I'm, I think it's important. I just want to kind of understand everything that led to this moment
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where you were in Hollywood, pretty group of girls. Yeah. You're going over to talk to them
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and they say, have you thought about porn? Yeah. And tell us a little bit more about your
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initial reaction. Was that something that you struggled with at the time or was it something
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that you just really hadn't even thought about? Yeah. I mean, definitely not like nothing I'd ever
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thought about ever. Um, it actually only seen porn just a few times, but I was living a very
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promiscuous lifestyle. Okay. So that they say this and I'm like, I probably am not going to do this,
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but I'm intrigued and curious enough to, to kind of see where this would go. Yeah. So I,
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and you want, you're desperate for money, right? At this point. Yeah. I would say more so like
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affirmation because financially I was fine. Okay. Um, you know, the, like working, I was working at
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this place like Saddle Ranch Shop House in middle West Hollywood. So I was, I mean, I was making good
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money. Um, but it was, it was more so like I, I wanted to be, feel like I was seen and known. Right.
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And, um, yeah, so I'd be with the agent and he's like, tell me about like, how'd you grow up? What do
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you want to do? Why are you here? And it's like, grew up pretty much just me and my mom. Um, I want
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to be an actor and I guess I want to be famous. And he's like, great. Um, everyone will know your name.
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You'll be famous. You'll make all this money. You'll travel the world. Um, so I hear a counterfeit
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version of the dream I actually had because I knew that I would have to compromise in some capacity
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to access those things that he said, because it like, I knew that it was wrong. I knew that I didn't
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want to like be a porn performer. I knew that I didn't want to do that, but I heard the way he framed
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it and it made me think, well, maybe that's as close as I'll get because at this point
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I'm 22 and it's crazy to look back and say this, but at 22, I felt like, gosh, I've already
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been doing this for almost eight years and I haven't made it yet. And then I'm in a circle
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of friends where, you know, they're doing stuff for universal and, you know, and anyway, like
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people in my circle were having more success than me and it made me feel like I was failing
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even though I wasn't. Right. And I hear this, this picture that he painted and it enticed me
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enough for me to say yes. In your mind, did you think that it was possible that this job would
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be temporary and lead you to bigger and better things? Or did you just think, you know what,
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if it's my fate to be a porn star, that's just what I'm going to do for the money and fame?
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Yeah. I mean, to be honest, like when I did that one, I thought like, okay, I'll do one.
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If it's terrible, I just won't do anymore. I really didn't have any intention of like diving in
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and becoming a performer or like that being a career in any capacity. I just thought I would do
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one. And then what's the worst that could happen? Cause naively I thought, well, I'm just gonna
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like grab a camera and go into this room and come out and then they're going to give me a check and
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then no one's going to know what happened. Yeah. But that's not what happened. Yeah. So tell us
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about that. Tell us, go back a little bit to the conversation that you had with the agent. Right.
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He presents to you this counterfeit idea of what your future could be. And how did you decide to
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agree? What did that look like? Yeah. I mean, uh, I think there were a lot of factors,
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like the fact that he was saying, you know, we'll, we'll pick you up in a town car and take you to
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this. So there's, um, super interesting. Um, there's this lab that everyone gets tested at so
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they can control as many variables as possible. And to, to be honest, like I've been very promiscuous
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since like I've never had any kind of like STD or AIDS testing. It's like probably wouldn't be a
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terrible idea to do this. So I do that. And then, um, and then it's like the next thing is like,
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okay, you know, the test will come back. Once the test comes back and you're clear, um, you know,
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then we'll send a town car to pick you up and like making it sound like I'm important. Okay. And, um,
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and, and then I just, I agreed to that. And then again, like I thought it was going to be like
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super low key, like, but I get to set and there's camera A, camera B, camera C, there's catering,
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there's BTS being shot, you know, there's, there's, there's all this stuff going on. And then in the
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back there's this behind the scenes, yeah. Um, and then, you know, there's this like, uh, this like
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small like circle of like Kino flow, like lighting around this Ottoman that this girl is on. Like,
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and there's, you know, three or four like guys, like, like, you know, camera boom mics, um, you
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know, sea lights, like all this stuff. And I'm just like, this is not what I thought it would be.
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And it was like, it was almost as big as, you know, some of the sets that I'd been on.
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Yeah. And I was just, I felt like I'd gone too far. Once I got there, I felt like I'd gone too far.
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And it was almost like a kid at a sleepover where I was like, I got picked up in a town car.
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I did all these things. I signed this paperwork that I really didn't understand.
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Um, what am I gonna do? Like call them and tell them to come pick me up.
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Yeah. So you felt at that point, it was a past the point of no return. You're like, well, I'm here.
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And maybe you felt a little bit indebted to them because they had maybe, you know, paid money for
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the car and for the testing and stuff. And you're like, well, you know, you can, I'll just do it once
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and then you'll never do it again. Is that kind of what your mentality? Yeah. Like shame and guilt,
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you know, like shame and guilt, just swarming, just, you know, swarming around my head. Um,
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but yeah. And then there's like this guy, like this PA comes up and he's like, Hey, um, here's a
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Viagra. Take it. If you want to take it. Don't know if you don't, it's in your hand. It's yours.
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Um, if you've never taken it before, I would buy it in half. And so I go, it's like, we'll need you in
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like 15, 20 minutes. And I go in the bathroom and I'm like looking at myself. I'm like, what are you
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doing? Like, don't do this. You shouldn't do this.
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So there's something in your head, even though you wouldn't have considered yourself a Christian
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saying, Joshua, turn around and leave right now. It's not too late. But then the other side was
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like, Nope, you're too, you're too far into this. You've got to stay. Wow.
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Yeah. Very, very much so where it's like the, the guilt and the shame almost trapped me and
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convinced me to continue to compromise. And, um, and that's what happened. So I did that. I did that
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one film. And then very quickly after that, like, you know, this is 15, 16 years ago, like,
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And sorry to pause, but not, and not asking for graphic details, but like afterwards. And as like,
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this is happening, I mean, what was, what was your thought process? Were you just like, after you
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decided, okay, you're going to go through with this. Did you feel that? Oh my gosh, what did I just do?
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Or what am I doing? Or did you just kind of try to push that out so you could get the job done?
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Yeah. I mean, it was, it was, it was almost like when you, um, it was like a car accident
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where it was so intense and so traumatic that you're just, you're just there. And you remember
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that it did happen, but you can't really remember that experience. Yeah. Cause I mean, it's like,
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you're like, okay, a 22 year old, you're going to take this erectile dysfunction medication.
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And then there's these, there's three cameras, there's, there's a light like underneath you,
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there's a boom mic right beside you. And then there's a director telling you exactly what to do.
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And in, in no way, since their fashion is their intimacy there between two people,
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it's a director telling you to do something so that he can see it, which is very different than
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two people being intimate. Um, so it was just so weird that I just kind of zoned out and felt
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disgusting afterwards and have this check. And on the memo of the check, it said a very graphic,
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like what the title of the movie was. So it was like humiliated that I had done it,
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felt disgusting, had this check. And I was like, never going to do this again,
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never going to do this again. But very quickly, like that, that scene goes viral. Um, back then
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it was like a hundred thousand people see it. And like, that was viral. And, um, the representation
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that I have, like, that's obviously, you know, I'm violating code of conduct. So fired, um, very
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quickly through the great, you're violating code of conduct regarding like mainstream,
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like mainstream representation. Oh, okay. Gotcha. Yeah. Gotcha. Or it's like, we, we can't be
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associated with your likeness because you're doing pornography. Okay. So you very quickly kind
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of got pigeonholed into this. Okay. And then my mom finds out, you know, like I live in a really
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small town. So one person tells one person what tells another person. And then I'm having this
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really awkward conversation with my mom. Yeah. And what did she have to say?
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Man, Joshua Luke, like, did you do this? Yeah. What are you thinking? And, um, my mom's tone
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never changed. It was always, I love you, but you're so much better than that. Like, why would you do that?
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And just for me, um, it took a, it took a long time for me to feel what I should have felt in that
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moment was, you know, my mom was 16 when she had me and she worked 60, 70 hours a week to, you know,
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so that I could go to basketball camp so that I could go to acting camp so that I could get like,
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you know, new like comp cards and stuff like that. Um, so many sacrifices that she made for me that
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I essentially just blew up in flames. And, um, so like that shame and guilt, I could have had,
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you know, the resilience to say, okay, I made a mistake. Um, maybe these opportunities are not
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going to be possible, but absolutely had other options to do in my life. But for me, like the,
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it's kind of an anomaly where it's like, never did drugs really. Um, like didn't need money.
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Like I was in the industry because I want to become famous. And then once I was in the industry,
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I felt trapped. So, you know, that one turned into like, you know, condemnation to myself,
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my mom finding out me getting let go from that agency. And then.
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So I thought that the agency that the girls who, I must be confused, the girls at the restaurant who
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said, do you want to do porn? I thought they introduced you to the agent who then led you
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to this pornography. Yeah. So I'm talking about two different agencies. Yeah. So main mainstream,
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like modeling and acting. They let you go. They let me go. And now you only have this guy who's
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like, well, let's do it again. Yeah. So he, he calls me and offers me a contract. So now like,
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like the porn. Because he's, he's happy about the hundred thousand views or whatever. Yeah. So
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they offer me a contract and I, and I honestly thought like, okay, um, I, I would, it would be
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dishonest if I, if I said, I truly felt like there was nothing else I could do, but it definitely
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was the easiest option. Yeah. And was it good money at the time? Like, did it seem like good money?
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I mean, it, it, it became really good money, but I mean, it was like, I was working, you
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know, I was making like between like five and $700 like per scene. And then I was doing like
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20 to 30 scenes a month. Wow. So, and then, you know, that, that rate got higher. Right. Um,
00:21:51.180
but yeah, so that, that one compromise led to six years of me being in the industry and me doing
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over a thousand films and the whole time it was just like compromise after compromise after
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compromise. And I believed along the way, well, um, if I'm going to like, whatever it
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is for good or for bad, it's like, I have to be, I have to be achieving and like very high
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achiever personality. So it's like, I have to be the best. So, and I have these, you know,
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these small goals where it's like, once I eclipse a million dollars, I'll be happy. I
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did that. It didn't work. Yeah. Like once I am nominated for X amount of awards, I did
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that. It didn't work. And it's like, okay, once I win like performer of the year, which
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is the highest award, like a guy can win in the industry. Essentially for me, it's like
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it makes you the best. So I won that award. And when I won it, it destroyed me because it
00:22:46.560
didn't give me the validation that I thought it would. Yeah. And that, you know, already
00:22:50.860
struggling with depression, but that kind of spiraled out of control. And that led to
00:22:54.060
me like being very certain that I was going to take my life.
00:23:08.540
Tell us a little bit before we get to how you got out of the industry. Yeah. Tell us a little
00:23:13.220
bit about the industry because I mean, the people listening to this podcast know the damaging
00:23:18.700
effects of pornography. It's a Christian podcast. So we understand, but you know, there's a lot
00:23:24.180
of people out there that say there's nothing wrong with quote unquote ethical porn or as long
00:23:30.740
as everyone is consenting, it's, it's fine. What's the harm in it? There's no victims. What
00:23:37.000
did you find and what were some of the most disturbing and maybe shocking parts of the industry that
00:23:42.300
people just don't know about, but need to? Yeah. I mean, I think that like true consent
00:23:49.640
is hard to give when we're talking about pornography, because maybe I consent to something at one time,
00:23:57.900
but I'm not really clear on what I'm giving consent to. Because when you go to set, you sign
00:24:03.780
a contract that, you know, you're signing away all rights to audio, video, any imagery, and you get
00:24:09.920
paid a one day rate, you get paid a day rate. Um, but you're not told what you're going to do.
00:24:15.600
And sometimes you're not even told who, what you're going to like, who you're going to do it
00:24:18.740
with. So you show up in the, in this very vague scenario, just knowing that you're going to do
00:24:24.400
something around sex. And more often than not, like there's a lot of compromise going on. There's a
00:24:30.480
lot of like girls doing things they don't want to do. Um, you know, directors telling guys to be
00:24:35.840
rougher than they want to be. Um, and then also just girls that are literally being trafficked
00:24:41.520
and their trafficker being there. And it's, it's like, you didn't, didn't really like,
00:24:45.760
it seemed normal at the time. It's like, well, this is just the guy that comes to set with this
00:24:49.760
girl and then he takes her home. And then for some reason, the check always goes to him instead of to
00:24:54.780
her. Yeah. But in a very real way, I mean, very often there's someone in some, in a lot of these
00:25:01.840
girls lives that are manipulating them to a degree where they're doing this because they feel like
00:25:08.740
they have to. And would you say it's worse for women and girls than it is for men in the industry?
00:25:17.000
I mean, I don't know if there's a difference between like the exploitation and what's called
00:25:22.220
like gay porn versus straight porn. I don't know if that's the right terminology, but like,
00:25:27.440
would you say that there's equal exploitation and abuse happening between men and women or is it
00:25:33.020
worse for girls? Uh, I would say it's worse for girls because the culture there, it's like, um,
00:25:39.900
it's built on compromise where there's, there's 30 people that I knew in the industry that have
00:25:47.400
either died of suicide or overdose and the trajectory of their life in the industry looked like this.
00:25:53.180
They get in the industry and they have a no list. So a no list is things they don't want to do.
00:25:58.100
And sometimes people they don't want to work with. And then the agent will, you know, monitor this
00:26:04.200
girl's career. And then once it plateaus and it starts to, you know, the phone's not ringing as much,
00:26:09.900
the, the agent will go to different studios and say, how much will you give me for this thing that
00:26:16.820
you've not seen her do? And then the agent takes the highest bidder and goes to the girl and says,
00:26:21.960
hey, out of nowhere, this studio is offering you $50,000 to do this thing. I know you said you
00:26:28.300
didn't want to do it, but if you do it, you'll be relevant again. She does it, it becomes arbitrary.
00:26:34.760
And then now it's just something that she does. And then once all those no's are gone, there's
00:26:40.300
escorting and then there's, um, feature dancing. So feature dancing is a girl's at a strip club.
00:26:45.720
They have some notoriety that the club pays them a nominal fee to be there, but that only
00:26:51.260
works if they have notoriety. So they're popular and then escorting the same thing where the
00:26:58.060
agent will frame it where it's like, it's basically a scene. They're going to get tested. They just
00:27:03.580
happen to be this random person and you're going to go spend a weekend in them. And, and that,
00:27:07.920
and that happens with guys as well. But once that, once that, you know, once the phone stops
00:27:14.840
ringing, they've now like spent five, six, seven years living this life saying like, well, if I
00:27:21.600
compromise, I'll, I'll become relevant again. And then when there's no more compromises left to,
00:27:27.000
to make and the phone's not ringing anymore in a very real way, your worth is tied to, well,
00:27:32.700
me selling myself for sex is who I am. And that is all that I'm worth. Yeah. So what am I to do?
00:27:40.960
And then sometimes it's either I want to die or let me start taking some type of drugs to medicate
00:27:48.960
the pain to make me feel better. And then overdose happens. So that, that literally happened to 30
00:27:55.220
people over the last 10 years I was in the industry with. And that's, that was the trajectory that my
00:28:01.200
life was on where I'd compromise so often. I mean, uh, you know, we're, we're, we're talking about,
00:28:08.440
so let's just go here. Right. Um, so at the end of my career, I did, um, for a six month period,
00:28:15.660
I signed a contract with a, with a gay, um, uh, like a gay, like, um, studio. They paid me a massive fee
00:28:24.680
to do like, to agree to do 30 films. And for me, someone who never had any kind of same sex
00:28:31.660
attraction, any kind of like homosexual, like interaction with people for me, I'd sold myself
00:28:37.380
for sex for so long that it was all the same. And for me, it's like, okay, it would be less painful
00:28:45.740
for me to compromise my sexuality than it is to continue doing what I'm doing because I,
00:28:51.460
I felt in a variable way, there's nothing else that I can do. There's no other value that I have
00:28:58.680
for the world. So if I could make the same amount of money for three scenes a month that I could 30,
00:29:05.100
that's going to be much better on my mental, emotional health. And I was wrong. And, and was it,
00:29:10.720
would you say it got even worse at that point? Significantly. And why, why do you think that is?
00:29:16.060
I mean, obviously, like you said that you weren't same sex attracted, but in your mind, you probably,
00:29:22.480
I'm guessing at this point, didn't really have any moral qualms with it. And as you said,
00:29:28.420
you were doing fewer scenes than you were before. So why do you think that made it even worse for you?
00:29:33.580
Yeah. I mean, I think it just this, like how just crazy it was because you have two guys that are,
00:29:39.940
that are like, you're saying you're straight and you're doing this and you're injecting yourself
00:29:46.420
with a needle so that you could have a fictitious erection. And it's in, it's just so, it's like so
00:29:53.880
twisted from like what is normal. And it's like, when you manipulate yourself to that point where it's
00:30:02.140
just like, I'm operating in a sense where it's like, I'm okay being masochistic to myself because
00:30:06.920
I feel like that's how much I'm worth. And you have two people there doing that. And just like
00:30:14.440
the, the level of how sad it was where it's like, there's two people doing this thing that they don't
00:30:20.220
want to do. Like, and it's super unnatural. And then like you're in there, like in between sets,
00:30:26.900
like you're, you're, you're watching straight porn to try to like be able to, to finish the scene.
00:30:33.140
Yeah. Um, even with, I mean, it's just like, it's so dark and so twisted and like, and that just
00:30:40.760
being a Tuesday for me, like it, it started to get to me at a level that I, I don't even know if I
00:30:49.500
could under, I could really like articulate like how like just disgusted I was with myself because I
00:30:57.060
mean, so, so many people in the industry that maybe they're making a lot of money, maybe they're most,
00:31:01.280
the most popular person in that industry. But when you lay your head down on a pillow,
00:31:05.320
it doesn't matter how many comments you have in your bank account or how many followers you have,
00:31:09.600
or if you have a blue check mark, like you lay your head down on a pillow and you're selling
00:31:13.880
yourself for sex. And you know that that's probably always going to be on the internet.
00:31:19.400
You're not proud of yourself. And even worse, there's a passion that's in your heart that God put
00:31:25.400
there for you to do something that not only glorifies him, but brings you joy. It brings you
00:31:31.340
satisfaction in that dream starts to dwindle because you think that you no longer have access
00:31:36.100
to it. And what do you say to people that say, well, sex work is work. The work that you do as a
00:31:44.060
so-called sex worker, whether it's prostitute or a porn star, it's no different than being an accountant.
00:31:50.020
It's, it's no different than doing anything else. And yet what you're describing is a different type
00:31:55.100
of depression than I hear from people who, you know, just don't like their job in a cubicle.
00:31:59.900
Yeah. What, what do you think about that? That, well, sex work is just like any other form of work.
00:32:05.840
Why is it different? Yeah. I would, I would just say like, Hey, if you were, if you're watching porn
00:32:10.600
on your phone and someone walked behind you, what would you do? You would cover it up. Why? It's not,
00:32:16.440
it's not something that's meant to be out in the open. So that person on the screen,
00:32:20.640
think about how they feel. Think about how that person feels when that is their real life.
00:32:25.400
So regardless of how you, what you communicate, like how you feel publicly, it's like you,
00:32:32.040
of course people say like, this is great. This is my life. I love what I do. Um, I'm, you know,
00:32:37.520
I should be able to do this. The reality is how you feel inside is not what you're communicating
00:32:42.240
because you tell yourself a lie so long that you create a plausible reality based on that lie
00:32:46.940
because you are your shame. You are your guilt and you see life through the lens of that.
00:32:52.480
And whenever people say, I always think when they say, Oh, sex is just like any other act. It's no
00:32:57.960
different. Sex work is just like, right. And even the people who say that, I don't think really
00:33:02.640
believe it because you say that, but at the same time, you know that rape is worse than someone
00:33:09.140
coming up and punching you in the arm, right? You know, that sexual assault is worse than someone
00:33:14.600
kicking you in the shins. Yeah. Why? Everyone knows that there is something sacred. There is
00:33:19.740
something different about sex that is inextricably intertwined with your emotions, your spirituality,
00:33:26.860
and your mental health in a way that someone punching you in the jaw just isn't. And so I just
00:33:33.860
don't, I don't believe it when people say that, Oh, well, sex work is work just like any other work.
00:33:38.600
I mean, as we've just talked about with you, you didn't think you had moral qualms with it and
00:33:43.660
yet it was crushing your spirit, right? Yeah. A hundred percent. I mean, it just progressively
00:33:47.740
got worse and worse and I'll paint another scenario for you where, um, so more often than not you end
00:33:53.960
up dating people in that industry. And I was sitting at a restaurant with, you know, a group of friends
00:34:02.060
and I'm sitting there with this girl that I'm dating. And then across from us are sitting another
00:34:06.540
couple, all of us are in the industry. And I had worked with, had sex with his girlfriend
00:34:11.880
that week and he had had sex with my girlfriend that day. And being someone who, you know, from
00:34:19.080
South Carolina grew up, you know, 16 year old, you know, my mom had me when she was 16. I, my mom
00:34:24.760
loves telling the story of me, like throwing a can of cream corn at this guy, like trying to talk to
00:34:29.680
her, you know, in a, in a grocery store, like waking up, like feeling jealous, like in a normal
00:34:34.200
relationship. Yeah. Like the jealous boyfriend. Yeah. Now amplified sitting at a table knowing
00:34:40.520
that this person that, that says the world that a person that is my friend, um, that he's having
00:34:46.900
sex with this person that is my girlfriend and I'm having sex with his girlfriend and we're lying
00:34:52.540
to ourselves in this relationship saying that we're in a monogamous relationship. So it's like
00:34:58.240
your reality is so distorted. How can it not be mentally and emotionally traumatizing? How can
00:35:04.860
it not lead to depression? How can it not lead to suicide? When you try to pretend like something
00:35:09.680
that's so painful and actually so masochistic isn't like the pain is real, regardless of you
00:35:16.420
identify it or communicate it or not. And then, you know, there's only, you know, a matter of time
00:35:28.240
And so tell us what that was, what kind of, what was your breaking point?
00:35:40.660
Yeah. So I, I had done, uh, I had done a scene and then I was just like, I'm just done. I'm done.
00:35:48.860
And this was still when you were doing gay porn.
00:35:51.660
Yeah. Okay. And I'm like, I'm going to, I'm going to go home and I'm going to take my life.
00:35:56.020
And I thought about it several times, but I'd made a specific plan.
00:35:58.940
How long did you have been suicidal? How long had you been suicidal at this point?
00:36:04.980
But it just, it went from something I considered to something that I felt like I wanted to do
00:36:10.600
to something that I was planning to do. They're probably like pretty much from the first time that I
00:36:15.800
did, um, the first like gay movie. Like that was like when I was like, okay, my life is over.
00:36:24.520
Um, so I, I do this movie and I'm like, okay, when I get home, I'm going to do this. And I was
00:36:30.180
actually in, I filmed in Atlanta and I was flying back from Atlanta and I was just thinking about
00:36:35.220
this on the, on the way home, land in LAX, get my bags. And I'm like, I'm, I'm going to go for
00:36:40.900
some reason. It made sense to me. I'm going to go to deposit this check and then I'm going to go
00:36:45.560
to, I'm going to take care of that. I'm not sure why I thought I needed to deposit the check, but
00:36:49.760
that's what I had planned on doing. And normally I would go to like ATM or Dropbox because I didn't
00:36:55.240
want to look someone in the eye and slide the, a check across the counter with something on the
00:37:00.000
memo that said something that I was humiliated by. And, but this, this day that wasn't an option.
00:37:07.580
ATM broken, Dropbox closed. So I had to face the music and walk over to the counter. I'm like,
00:37:15.520
who cares? I'm going to die today. Anyway, slide the check across the counter and, you know,
00:37:21.800
transaction happens, hands me the receipt and I go to walk out and the person looks me in the eye
00:37:27.200
says, Joshua, are you okay? Wow. Joshua, is there something I can do for you? And I just bolt
00:37:35.660
and Allie, what was so important about that. You just ran away. Yeah. When he said that,
00:37:40.280
you didn't even try to respond. Wow. Yeah. But what was so heavy about that was there was about
00:37:46.140
an 18 month period, maybe closer to like a year to the somewhere, somewhere between a year and 18
00:37:53.140
months where I hadn't heard my real name because as you have, as you have in your life, it's like
00:38:01.100
if someone who cares about you, they're not going to allow you to continue doing something that's
00:38:06.100
harmful to yourself. So my mom would say, I love you, but why are you doing that? You need to stop
00:38:11.260
doing that. Like, this is not who you are. Like I raised you better than this, you know, you're better
00:38:15.740
than this. So you have two choices when you have people like that in your life. You can either listen
00:38:20.320
to them or push them away. So I pushed everyone away. So the only name that I was hearing was a pseudonym.
00:38:26.320
And then when I heard my real name, it broke me out of this like numbness. Yeah. And I literally
00:38:33.220
like ran home. And who knows why that person decided to look you in the eye and say your name,
00:38:40.320
something. And I always think about this. Whenever I hear people's testimonies, there is always a
00:38:44.940
moment where God puts someone in someone's life and they do something that seems small and commonplace.
00:38:51.300
I talked to someone who used to be an atheist and he was on campus and a campus ministry had
00:38:57.700
put some books on a table to pick up. And it was C.S. Lewis that ended up, you know, leading him to
00:39:03.360
Christ. And the person who put the book there, they probably didn't even think of it. They probably
00:39:08.020
weren't even thinking of it. The person who said your name and looked you in the eye and simply asked
00:39:12.500
if you were okay. You just don't know how God is going to use someone's very commonplace action or your
00:39:19.300
own words to then change their lives. So continue, continue on that. You ran away. And then what
00:39:25.560
happened? Yeah. I mean, I ran away and called my mom and it's like, we have this, you know,
00:39:30.720
this very emotional. I thought that she was going to be mad at me, but she wasn't. And she was just
00:39:35.560
like, just come home. So I pick up the phone. So prodigal son type situation. Yeah. Yeah. So like I wish
00:39:44.280
it was more Luke 15, but you know, when I, when I called home, it was like, come home. But I did.
00:39:50.980
And I quit the, I quit the industry that day, picked up the phone, called my agent, put out a PR
00:39:54.920
like press release, um, did all these things and left, but also instead of dealing with the pain
00:40:02.880
and the reality of, of the, of the mess that I'd made with my life, I covered up my tattoos. I deleted
00:40:08.640
my social media and I got a job at a gym hoping that it would just go away. But the reality was,
00:40:15.180
especially back then where there was like Skinamax and like late, like late night HBO. And I was like
00:40:20.820
on all these movies. So between that and me just winning this like performer of the year award, like
00:40:27.600
pretty, pretty recent to that. It's like very relevant. So everywhere I went, it's like, aren't you
00:40:33.140
that guy? Really? And just couldn't get away from it. So I spent, but I spent two years living like
00:40:40.140
that, like lying until I got found out. I would lie and make up things and then I'll get found out.
00:40:47.400
And that went on for about two years. And then in spite of that, working at the gym, it's like, okay,
00:40:53.800
if I'm here, I'm going to do whatever needs to be done. I'm going to become the best trainer I can
00:40:58.740
and work my way up to management. And while I'm there, there's this girl that I had my eye on for
00:41:06.280
a while. And I was like, I'm going to ask her out on a date. And I asked her on a date and she says,
00:41:11.480
no. I was like, well, gosh. Yeah. She's like, yeah, yeah. And I was like, immediately fell in love,
00:41:19.140
you know? But, but then later she was like, you know, we can go for a run. I'll give you that. We can
00:41:24.700
go for a run. And it may, maybe she had heard like something, you know, bad reputation, like
00:41:29.900
not exactly what, but, um, she agreed to go on a run with me. And every person that I tried to have
00:41:36.200
a relationship with, I would withhold the truth from, because I thought for sure, once I told them,
00:41:42.840
they were like, I'm out of here. Um, so with her, I'm waiting on her to get to this park and we're
00:41:47.500
going to go for a run and just feel really guilty. I'm just like, I just can't lie to this person.
00:41:53.600
Like she doesn't deserve to be hurt. She doesn't, she doesn't, she like, she doesn't need to deal
00:41:57.980
with my mess. So I'm just going to tell her and I'll leave and it'll be done. So we get there to,
00:42:03.380
to run, but we never ran and we just started walking. And I was like, Hey, um, I just want to
00:42:09.920
tell you something. I've done a little bit of porn. She's like, what? I was like, all right, man up,
00:42:17.120
tell the full truth. And then. So you wanted to tell her right away, not even wait until y'all got
00:42:21.220
into a relationship. Cause I'm like in my head for like 10 minutes. Like, yeah, because like
00:42:25.560
every person I met, it was like, I was looking over my shoulder, just waiting to get found out.
00:42:30.140
Yeah. Cause there was just one Google search away from like knowing everything I didn't want them to
00:42:34.160
know. And, um, so I just, I told her that and then I was like, okay, tell her the truth. And I told her
00:42:40.520
everything. And then she's just kind of like blank stare. Like, so you were not a Christian at this
00:42:46.000
point you hadn't had. Okay. Yeah. And then, you know, she, she's just like looking at me like,
00:42:51.800
I can't believe you just said that. And then she kind of like takes a second processes. And then
00:42:57.760
she looks me in the eye and says, I want you to know that I believe that person's not defined by
00:43:02.480
the worst thing they've ever done. And I don't believe that a person is defined by the greatest
00:43:06.200
thing they'll ever accomplish. I believe that God defines who a person is. Do you know who God is?
00:43:11.680
And I was like, yeah, you know, for me, but for me, it was like, I was so used to putting
00:43:16.640
on this like first date mask, right. Where it's like, I don't know who I am. I'm just going
00:43:20.420
to be whoever you want me to be. And I, I tried that and she cut right through it where she's
00:43:26.720
like, okay, well, what's your relationship with Jesus look like? Are you plugged in community?
00:43:29.980
And I'm like, okay, you're speaking like another language. I don't know what you're talking
00:43:33.480
You realize that you weren't going to be able to be a character for her.
00:43:37.460
Yeah. And then I'm just like, you know, just surrendered to, I'm like, okay, I,
00:43:40.980
I don't maybe, maybe no, I don't know. And she's like, well, I became a Christian when
00:43:45.180
I was in seventh grade, my mom, dad, brother, sister, all Christians. And it's the most
00:43:50.180
important thing in my life. And by no means am I perfect, but it is the basis in which
00:43:54.960
I make decisions. Um, but anyway, what, you know, what do you want to do with your life?
00:44:01.080
What are your, what are your goals? What are your aspirations? What, what kind of food do
00:44:03.740
you like? And I'm just like, what? You don't want me to leave? And, um, we just have
00:44:09.880
this like really great conversation and then we text all week and then we end up, you know,
00:44:15.500
she, she invites me to go to church. So not where she normally went to church, but where
00:44:19.540
a lot of people that, um, were at the gym that we, that we were at go to church. Like,
00:44:24.240
would you like to go to this church? And I was like, sure. You've cultivated this curiosity
00:44:27.980
in me. So sure. And we go and I'm expecting what I remember church to be like, where it's
00:44:34.500
like a three piece suit. And if you've got a wrinkle in your shirt, you're going to hell,
00:44:37.720
you know, like, um, no tattoos, no. Um, but I go there and there's this guy in a t-shirt and
00:44:44.380
jeans and boots in Raleigh, North Carolina. And he's talking about Jesus. Like he's his friend
00:44:49.500
and his relationship with Jesus changed his life. And he wants everyone to know him. And he starts
00:44:54.300
telling the story in first Samuel about Mephibosheth and how Mephibosheth was the last remaining
00:44:59.440
member of Jonathan's family. And David, when he took over, um, historically that previous
00:45:05.800
kingdom was wiped out because they didn't want anyone to think they had access to that
00:45:09.300
new kingdom, but David was different. So he went, you know, he sent his guard to search
00:45:13.880
for Mephibosheth. And when he found him, not only did he invite him into his kingdom, he
00:45:18.300
restored his land. And, and then he pivoted where it's like, Hey, um, God wants to meet
00:45:23.340
you in the place where you are expecting death because Romans 3 23 says that we've all
00:45:28.180
sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Romans 6 23 says that wages of sin is death.
00:45:32.540
So if we're all guilty and we're all impending death, what are we to do? Jesus lays down his
00:45:38.500
life. He is the bridge that we need to access God because we're separated from him. And he
00:45:44.060
did that not because you're good enough. He did that because he loves you. And the Holy
00:45:47.640
Spirit did something in me and I gave my life to Christ. And, uh, and that person that
00:45:52.660
had that conversation with, uh, that, that walk turned into a, that's my wife, you know,
00:45:57.900
so we've been married for six years and we have three kids, but like the, the pivot from
00:46:01.900
that has been, um, like God repurposing my story and redeeming me. And essentially like
00:46:09.840
very like Genesis 50, 20, where God's repurposed my influence and redeemed me and allowed me to
00:46:16.580
have a very unique voice speaking into the darks, the darkness and the depth of, of pornography.
00:46:23.660
Do you struggle with, um, the memories and the visuals of what you experienced for so long?
00:46:33.240
Like how has God worked that out in your heart and mind?
00:46:36.820
Yeah. So that's a great question. So for me, um, like the memories, like praise God, like that
00:46:43.140
was something that in a, in a miracle in that moment, like I was having night terrors for two,
00:46:49.140
like two years. Uh, when I gave my life to Christ, that was the last time that I had any nightmares.
00:46:54.440
The last time that I could really remember like vivid details, but the, what still existed was like
00:47:01.940
a poor, like understanding of who I was. I'm not a great, um, understanding of, of who God is,
00:47:09.820
who people are, um, the way that I appropriate myself into the world, like thought patterns,
00:47:15.340
habits. Um, so, so essentially like those things and the mental and emotional trauma that was still
00:47:21.100
there, like those things had to be dealt with over time.
00:47:24.900
And for your wife, I mean, obviously she sounds like because of the grace of God, she understands,
00:47:31.700
uh, forgiveness and becoming a new creation. But was it something that you still had to kind
00:47:39.800
of work through as first a dating couple and then an engaged couple? Because obviously
00:47:44.680
going from having sex with multiple partners to being in a monogamous marriage where sex
00:47:50.840
is a symbol of a covenant of, you know, before God between two people, you went from the counterfeit
00:47:57.980
version of love and intimacy to the real version. Like what was that journey kind of like for both of
00:48:04.460
you? I'm sure it had, there was a lot to work on and work through and talk through.
00:48:08.920
Yeah. For me, what I found when I was sitting in a room with her when like, okay, um, I, I want to
00:48:15.000
follow Jesus. She's passionate about following Jesus. And then individually and collectively we
00:48:21.080
committed to pursuing purity and also pursuing Jesus. So for me, like her relationship with me was
00:48:28.000
important, but the same week that I gave my life to Christ, I walked into the church that,
00:48:33.200
that, you know, that church there. And I'm like, Hey, um, can I talk to a pastor? And I tell him my
00:48:38.040
story and he plugs me into, um, this, this meeting with, um, this guy, Andrew, his name's Andrew Yates.
00:48:44.760
And he had recently graduated from DTS and he had moved to Raleigh to help launch another campus at
00:48:50.580
this church. And he was supposed to spend 30 minutes with me, just basic, you know, observation,
00:48:55.540
interpretation, application. Like this is how you read the Bible, understanding context. And that 30
00:49:00.320
minutes turned into three hours and that three hours turned into 15 to 20 hours a week for five
00:49:04.580
years. So he discipled me. Um, and what it allowed me to understand was I could only be as free as I
00:49:13.060
was willing to be honest. And through like, like some encouragement, but a lot of kicking in the butt,
00:49:20.040
right? Because I had people applauding me for the wrong reasons for so long, but I didn't have anyone
00:49:25.220
being honest with me. But if they were, I pushed them out of my life. Right. So like, yes, like there
00:49:31.620
were definitely like challenges where, you know, we're, we're sitting in a room together, having a
00:49:35.600
conversation. It's like, I don't know what to do because we're not going to have sex. You know,
00:49:39.900
like that was a real thing, but like finding out who I was in Christ allowed me to see her differently
00:49:46.920
than us walking together. And, you know, doing, you know, like doing like, you know, we were both in a
00:49:53.400
small group and then we're in a couple of small group. And then we, you know, once we got engaged,
00:49:57.080
we did premarital counseling. And, um, for me, like, it was really important to like, as I was
00:50:01.580
understanding myself, it's like, you don't love people best. Like this is good marriage advice.
00:50:06.520
You don't, you can't love someone the way that you want to be loved always because my wife,
00:50:13.060
she loves quality time where I, you know, I desire like words of affirmation and things like that.
00:50:19.080
So for, for her, I could give her everything in the world, take her to wherever I want to take
00:50:24.980
her, buy her all these things. And she doesn't feel loved unless she has my undivided attention.
00:50:29.800
She wants my phone facing down or in my pocket. I not like not at a restaurant, just me engaged with
00:50:37.060
her. And that's it. Like, that's how she feels loved. And I didn't know how to do that. And I didn't
00:50:42.220
understand that, but I loved her enough to figure it out. Um, so I think like that, that was part of the
00:50:48.580
process. And also I did about two years of counseling where just having just honest,
00:50:54.000
open, transparent conversations, just, um, I think that I am where I am today. And I, I wouldn't be
00:51:01.700
as far along as I am in my life, in my career, and in my walk with Jesus, if I wouldn't have done
00:51:07.760
the hard work to kind of dig into the wounds. Because as I was healing, I actually found out like,
00:51:14.120
oh, there's, there's this issue over here and there's this issue over here and dealt with all
00:51:19.360
those things and having the opportunity to connect with mentors and doing different things. It allowed
00:51:25.380
me to, to, to find healing in places that I didn't even know I needed. Yeah. Yeah. And now you are the
00:51:33.460
father of three little ones. Um, and you are the dad that you always wanted, but you didn't have
00:51:42.320
growing up. How is your story, your past, your experience, not just in the porn industry, but
00:51:48.020
even growing up without a dad and wanting that, how has that all shaped how you approach family and
00:51:54.100
parenting? Yeah. It's hard to tell a story without crying. It's okay. But, um, so when our first son was
00:52:01.060
born, we, we named him Canon. So Canon in Hebrew means measuring stick. So for me, um, he was the,
00:52:07.720
the measure of God's grace because I didn't experience having a father now and I didn't even
00:52:12.720
see it, you know, modeled. So how could I be something I've never seen or experienced? And,
00:52:18.540
um, just was overwhelmed with his grace to allow me to, to, to be a dad and he's born and, you know,
00:52:25.220
he's all slimy and they're wiping him off. And I walk over there and then, you know, one of the
00:52:30.660
nurses is like, you can touch him. And I re I, I reached my hand out and he grabs my finger
00:52:39.440
and like in a really real way, I felt God say, I love you more than that.
00:52:47.620
And it's like realizing that I've always had the father that I desired to have and that I just
00:53:00.300
didn't know I had access to him. And I mean, just me, just me like understanding how to be a son
00:53:09.400
to the father allowed me to be a father to my sons.
00:53:14.400
Yes. It's really amazing. What parenting teaches you about how much God loves us both in the sense
00:53:22.080
that we are his children, but also in the sense that, wow, how much did he have to love us to send
00:53:29.020
his son to die for us? As much as we love our children, can you imagine sacrificing your child
00:53:35.540
on behalf of someone or something else? You would have to be motivated by so much love in order to
00:53:41.420
do that. And so there's just a whole level of, of gospel, a whole new level of understanding
00:53:49.600
God's love that happens through parenting. And so I love that he has used that as
00:53:54.080
another phase of just redemption and sanctification for you.
00:53:59.240
Yeah. It's almost like you, you understand the tone of God. So when you see like John 14, 15,
00:54:03.260
like, if you love me, you'll obey my commandments. It's not, if you love me,
00:54:06.860
you'll do what I say. Yeah. If you love, if you love me, you'll trust what I say is best.
00:54:23.520
And I just love your testimony because it's a reminder that God brings people from the uttermost
00:54:32.560
places, from the darkest crevices, from the seemingly hopeless spots and he makes them new
00:54:42.760
and he can do that with anyone. Tell me a little bit about, um, the impact of your testimony. That's
00:54:50.120
what you do. You go around and you share your story. You are using what Satan meant for evil,
00:54:55.540
for good. And that's what God does. He brings beauty from ashes. That's maybe my favorite
00:55:01.340
characteristic of God. Um, have you had interactions and conversations with people who have said, wow,
00:55:09.040
God used your testimony to change my life and to open my eyes?
00:55:14.500
Yeah. I mean, humbly thousands. Um, and it's, it's just that and real, like seeing God repositioned me
00:55:27.740
and use my testimony to have influence in places where seeing things happen. Like I, I had the
00:55:34.540
opportunity to speak at Capitol Hill and be part of a symposium with this legislation that has now made
00:55:40.340
its way to the Senate, which is the Lee bill. And this, this like earn an act, it's going to provide
00:55:46.220
actual age verification. It's going to provide like real consent and just, you know, right now,
00:55:53.940
anyone can hop on a site and put in a fake birthday. But the moment that you have to provide legitimate
00:55:59.160
age verification through a driver's license or a passport, sure it's encrypted data, but there's
00:56:04.960
something very real about putting your, your driver's license number there. So my hope is that
00:56:09.300
a, um, that will protect children because you know, average age of exposure is 11 years old,
00:56:14.000
you know? Um, and then people who expose, who are exposed under 15, 61% of the time is accidental
00:56:20.340
exposure because it's, you don't have to go looking for it. It's so prevalent.
00:56:24.980
Yeah. It's everywhere. Um, so Pornhub did just get removed from Instagram, which I know that's not
00:56:30.600
the only hub for pornography, but I see that as a big victory.
00:56:35.420
It's a huge win. And it also, it's a display of the darkness that's there because you're saying,
00:56:39.640
okay, how harmful can this be? Well, there's, there's 600 incidents of child pornography being
00:56:46.120
on Pornhub. There's, there's astronomical cases of people that are really being raped. Like I was in
00:56:52.640
DC with someone and they were telling their story where they were in Vegas on a trip with someone they
00:56:58.980
were dating. They were drugged. They were raped. They invited someone else over there. They raped
00:57:04.540
her and they filmed all this and they put this up on Pornhub and it was monetized for three years.
00:57:10.000
She ends up pressing charges, wins her case, rape, sex trafficking. And these images still exist on
00:57:17.000
Google because Google says, because her face isn't clearly identifiable and there's not clear
00:57:22.260
coercion happening, then we're not going to take it down. So that's the evil that we're up against.
00:57:27.260
So the fact that I can play. These are the same companies too, that want to chastise the public
00:57:33.580
for not being, you know, not being compassionate enough or empathetic enough or social justice
00:57:39.280
enough. And they use that as kind of their virtue signal. Meanwhile, they are complicit in at best,
00:57:46.040
the sexual abuse of adults and children. Yeah. I mean, it's in a very real way because I mean,
00:57:52.380
again, like maybe people don't realize this, but like when you're watching pornography,
00:57:56.700
you're contributing to sex trafficking. You're contributing to rape being on the internet that's
00:58:01.000
being monetized because it's exactly that. It's the porn industry. No one's paying for porn. It works
00:58:07.240
the same as YouTube, your YouTube channel or your Facebook. It gets monetized through viewership and
00:58:12.060
ads. So that's why like Pornhub coming off of Instagram is important. That's why like MasterCard and
00:58:18.300
Visa stopping their engagements with Pornhub because the ads can't be purchased anymore.
00:58:23.760
So like getting in their pockets is, you know, that's going to wake them up because they're
00:58:27.000
obviously they don't care about morality. They don't care about children. They don't care about
00:58:29.920
anyone but themselves. So through viewership, you are in a very real way contributing to people being
00:58:37.680
harmed. Yeah. And that's why there's no such thing as so-called ethical porn. Of course,
00:58:42.260
from a Christian perspective, because I mean, the entirety of the Bible kind of speaks to the
00:58:48.600
importance of the body and being made in the image of God. But also we as Christians,
00:58:53.100
1 Corinthians 6, 19 says the body is the dwelling place for the Holy Spirit. God made flesh. Jesus,
00:59:00.600
he came in bodily form. He resurrected in bodily form. We will also be resurrected in bodily form.
00:59:07.880
That's how much God cares about the body. And so Christians have a motivation and a vigor behind
00:59:17.480
our protection of the vulnerable, but also the protection of sex, the protection of the body in
00:59:22.920
a way that others don't because we're motivated by the belief that we are made in God's image and
00:59:28.760
the gospel itself. And so I'm thankful for you and how you're using that motivation, how God,
00:59:33.820
of course, is using you and how he has worked through you. Again, using what Satan meant for
00:59:41.020
evil, for good, to bring himself glory. And that's really what it's about. So thank you so much.
00:59:49.820
Yeah. So there's this really, really amazing project that I'm in the middle of working on.
00:59:54.500
So it's called Unmentionable. So it'll function like a podcast, but it's really an eight-part
00:59:59.180
documentary. And we went to Hollywood and filmed some content of me being in places that I hadn't
01:00:05.340
been in over a decade. I had the opportunity to do a chapel service for the Los Angeles Chargers.
01:00:10.740
Went back to South Carolina, went to Florence, went to some places. And we're just really painting a
01:00:15.820
picture of how dark the industry is. We've interviewed a lot of people that have been in the industry,
01:00:22.900
been in sex work, but also some of the people that was in my life as I was making compromise
01:00:27.500
after compromise. Like, why did you, why did you say yes? You know, like getting to the root of
01:00:32.160
things. So there's this podcast called Unmentionable and you can find that on my website, which is
01:00:36.980
joshuabroom.me. And then, um, like that, that's like the big thing. And then also the legislation,
01:00:46.220
Yes. Yes. I agree. I mean, I'm, I know that this is probably controversial. I'm not asking you to co-sign
01:00:51.740
this. I think that pornography should be illegal. I don't think that there is any good case to say
01:00:57.020
that it is free speech. Not all, I mean, obscenity shouldn't be, shouldn't be protected by the First
01:01:05.180
Amendment. That's my opinion, but I know some people don't go that far.
01:01:08.680
Yeah. I would, I would say I completely agree with you. And what that would allow me to do
01:01:12.380
is to go into court and say, Hey, I want those images taken down because I'm, there's, there's
01:01:17.260
things that I agreed to do for $700 15 years ago that have been, that someone has made $2 million
01:01:25.560
off of. And it's like, no, I don't want to continue to have my consent. You can't have my
01:01:31.640
consent. Not only that, it's, it's hurting me. It's hurting my family. Yeah. You know? So it's like,
01:01:36.540
I, I like that's, I love that there's legislation that that's in process. Yes. It's going to have,
01:01:42.420
like, that's going to have consent, have a timetable where I could, should be able to go
01:01:47.000
and say, Hey, um, that's obscene. I don't want that there. All pornography is obscene by the way.
01:01:55.280
But I mean, already, obviously child sex abuse material is illegal. And yet the fact that pornography
01:02:04.300
is not only legal, but so accessible. And as we know, very often consuming one kind of pornography
01:02:11.420
typically leads to even worse kind of pornography, like child sex abuse, and they access that. And
01:02:17.400
so if you made it just as difficult as possible to access any kind of sex abuse or pornography,
01:02:23.640
especially when you're talking about the women who they were raped, they were sexually assaulted,
01:02:28.320
and people are making millions of dollars off of that. And Google will do nothing about it.
01:02:33.220
At some point, even as, you know, a limited government conservative, the law has to step in,
01:02:38.260
the law steps in. So that's my opinion. Yeah. And like, that's things like that. So I have a
01:02:44.900
podcast called counterfeit culture, and it's kind of around that idea of like Romans 12, too. It's
01:02:49.820
like we're either being conformed by the world or being transformed by the renewing of our mind.
01:02:54.460
Yeah. And then like, that's the that's the what in the how is second Corinthians 10, five,
01:02:58.540
so we have to take every thought captive and make it obedient to Christ. Yeah. So it's like,
01:03:01.700
if we don't know what is good, and what is evil, that line is going to be, you know, blurred. And I
01:03:08.120
love, I could keep going, but like, like John Brevere's book, Killing Kryptonite was was the catalyst
01:03:13.980
for a lot of the things that I've done. But there's this the 18th chapter of that book,
01:03:18.660
talks about this, essentially, this like phony Jesus, where I can if if I call myself a Christian,
01:03:24.480
and I do x, y, and z, it justifies me to do ever whatever I want. And I can live however I want.
01:03:31.220
And I can have whatever relationship that I want. I can compromise however I want. Because if I say
01:03:36.020
one thing, it justifies everything else. But that's not how the gospel works. Jesus says lay down your
01:03:41.800
life. Yep. Lay down your life. I think that's a good place to end. Although I think that we probably
01:03:48.760
could talk for an hour more. So thank you again, just for using your testimony and using God's story
01:03:53.980
in you. I really appreciate it. And I encourage everyone to follow him and support the projects
01:03:58.340
that he is working on. And also to get in the know about legislation. We often say politics matter
01:04:04.260
because policy matters because people matter politics affects policy policy affects people. So
01:04:09.160
the laws matter, the people that we vote for matters. So thank you so much. I appreciate you
01:04:14.140
taking the time to come on. Absolutely glad to be here.