Ep 770 ｜ Debunking the 'Kids Do Better with Gay Parents' Study
Episode Stats
Summary
A recent study circulating on social media seems to conclude that children of same sex couples fare the same or even better than children of opposite sex couples. But is that really what the data in the study says? Who funded this study, by the way? How is it conducted, and most importantly, what's the truth? We re going to dig into all of that today on this episode of Relatable.
Transcript
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A recent study circulating on social media seems to conclude that children of same-sex
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couples fare the same or even better than children of opposite-sex couples.
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But is that really what the data in the study says?
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We're going to dig into all of that today on this episode of Relatable, which is brought
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All right, before we get into the subjects that I told you that we're going to talk about
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at the top of the show, there are a few things that I want to say.
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One is administrative business, a little bit, and an announcement, a fun announcement.
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And then the two other things are just encouragement that I've been thinking about that I've been
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So number one, first point of order is that we have a new studio that has been being built
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in just the other room that is absolutely amazing.
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I've been in this temporary set, which has been great.
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But it is nothing like the amazing new set that we have.
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It's very different than the previous Relatable set that we had.
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And we will be having a really fun episode to celebrate that.
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We're going to be doing a giveaway with some products from some of my awesome sponsors that
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And we're going to do some other fun things as well.
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I might show you a little bit of the set this week on social media, maybe on the Ali
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But next week, make sure that you tune into YouTube next week so that you can actually
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see it and not just listen to it on the listening side.
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I know the vast majority of you are listening to this, but go to YouTube next week.
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There's a lot that we have to do before Monday to make sure that it's finished because I want
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Because it's not just, guys, just prepare your hearts and minds.
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It's not just that we are getting a new studio.
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Some of you are going to be sad about that because that little tune that's played at
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the beginning of Relatable has been a part of your life and a part of your daily routine
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and even your kids' life and daily routine for a long time.
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So just prepare your heart and mind that that is going to change.
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Now, it might take a little bit to adjust to, but just bear with us.
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We're still actually trying to figure out what music we're going to play.
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That's maybe the hardest part of this Relatable refresh that we're going through is choosing
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The Relatable brand itself is now going to look different in a different font.
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I think that you guys are going to like it, too.
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So next week, hopefully next Monday, we're going to have all this new stuff rolling out.
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I keep on remembering all of the new things that we're going to have.
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We've been working really hard for several months, like since last fall.
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And so we're going to have new merch for you guys.
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So next week is going to be a week of spring celebration and a spring refresh for Relatable.
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Can you believe that we have been doing Relatable for five years?
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I think it's been five years, March, March of 2018.
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And then we went to two, and then we went to three, and then we've been doing four for
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So thank you to those of you who have been here since 2018.
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And thank you to those of you who have come along the way.
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And maybe you started, and then you stopped, and now you're back.
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I appreciate all of you who share the show, who talk about the show, who have come to hear
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me speak, who have sent me encouraging messages.
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I'm so thankful to have been doing this for the last five years.
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Now, I want to give you two little points of encouragement.
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So the first one is a metaphor that I've been thinking about.
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Let's see if I can put these two encouragements together somehow and connect them.
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So I take a kind of workout class that is driven by the music.
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And I used to teach this kind of bar class a few years ago, right after I got married.
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I've been doing it off and on for about 10 years.
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But this is like the kind of exercise that I love.
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I've kind of just fallen off the horse when it comes to exercise.
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But then I started going back to these bar classes sometime last fall.
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And one thing I love about it is that it is driven by music, by tempo.
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And so it's not that you're just doing these moves and there's music playing in the background.
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But actually, as you are changing, as you're changing movements, as you're going into the
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next thing, you are doing it with the transition of the music.
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And a really good teacher, a really good instructor is integral to the quality of the class.
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And one thing, I think the primary thing that makes a good instructor is the ability to
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stay on the beat of the music, to hear the music, to be so in tune with the beat, with
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the rhythm, that they are instructing the class to change movements at the right time.
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That in addition to all of the different things that a teacher does.
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And so it's difficult to teach these classes because you have to have a talent beyond just
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But not all teachers have that musical ability, which means that sometimes the classes can
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be chaotic when someone is at the front of the class who is supposed to be leading the
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class on tempo, on beat, and they themselves are off beat.
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That means the entirety of the class is going to be off beat.
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And that means in this particular kind of exercise that it's going to be chaos.
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And there are going to be different people going at different times.
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And that's not how this workout is supposed to go.
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It's supposed to be driven by the beat of the music.
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And yet, if you have someone who is telling you to do something on the wrong beat or change
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the wrong time, and everyone in the class might be following that wrong beat or that wrong
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instruction, that wrong teacher, and you yourself can hear the music, you hear the beat of the
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music, you know when you're supposed to change, it can be really difficult to stay on beat.
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And yet, I think the quality, the excellence of the class, the uniqueness of this kind of
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So I will find myself sometimes, just because I used to take this kind of class, and thankfully
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because of my dear mother, I do have some kind of musical ability somewhere in my brain,
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I really try to stay on beat, even sometimes when everyone is off beat.
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And is that not, is that not also how we try to live our lives as we talk about being a sort
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of human salmon that is constantly trying to swim upstream as everyone else is just going
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And what you have to do in those classes is you have to close your eyes, you have to ignore
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what everyone else is doing, sometimes you even have to ignore what the person that you're
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supposed to be trusting to teach you is saying, and you have to hear the music, you have to
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remember what is true, you have to make sure that you are staying on beat, even when everyone
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And that is what is required, certainly in today's culture, really throughout history when it comes
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But when everyone else is doing one thing, no matter how difficult it might be to do the
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right thing, no matter how much you may be standing out, no matter how difficult it may
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be, no matter how much focus it may take, it is absolutely worth closing your eyes and listening
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And in my metaphor, it's probably an imperfect metaphor in a lot of different ways, but staying
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true to what God's Word says, staying true to the Holy Spirit's convictions, to what we
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know is true, even when everyone else is either completely off or just a little bit off, is
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And sometimes that's easy to do, sometimes that's difficult to do, sometimes the beat is
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easy to hear, sometimes it's more difficult to hear, but sanctification, part of that process
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is getting better and better at not just listening to the music, but staying on beat with the
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music, understanding the rhythm, and then also applying it to your life, even when it seems
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like everyone around you, even the people that you're listening to that have influence over
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I think we felt like that a lot over the past few years as women, as we've seen the places
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that we have gone for inspiration and encouragement, like Instagram, completely erupt in things like
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And even the Christians that we know and love and want to listen to are slightly off when
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it comes to their theology surrounding political, moral, cultural issues.
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And we can feel gaslit into thinking, well, maybe I'm crazy.
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And yet our task is then to go back to the word of God, to compare not only what they
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are saying, but also what we are saying and what we think to what he says, because God's
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And as long as our focus is staying on beat with him, this is turning into a very cheesy
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metaphor, then we can rest assured that we are doing the right thing.
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And we will do that fallibly, we will do that imperfectly, but isn't that our task?
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So I think about that a lot when I am in these bar classes and sometimes things are just wild
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And that's our job in life, especially in the Christian life as well.
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So just a reminder for you in my lengthy metaphor.
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And then another piece of encouragement, I'm not really sure how to connect this, although
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this is just another aspect of the Christian life is finding peace and trusting God and
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And one of you sent me this excerpt from a sermon from Charles Spurgeon that I just really
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We talk a lot about the sovereignty of God and why it is so important to trust him and
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why it is so important to remember that even in this political and cultural chaos that we
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find ourselves in, that he is not surprised, he is not shocked, he is not worried, he's
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not a God who comes in later and cleans up the mast, but he is a God who is sovereign over
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I mean, people were so much more frank and straightforward back in the day than we are today.
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We have to put a million caveats on what we say.
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We have to nuance it a million times to where we're not really saying anything at all.
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We're so concerned with hurting people's feelings that we don't actually say anything of substance.
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And yet Charles Spurgeon wasn't concerned about that.
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And I think that's why we find so much refreshment and so much encouragement from his word.
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So here's what Charles Spurgeon has to say in one of his sermons about anxiety.
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Are you afraid for the infinite Jehovah that his purposes may fail?
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Take the sweet sleep which God gives to his beloved.
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Such as Jesus slept in the hinder part of the ship when it was tossed with tempest.
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The cause of God was never in jeopardy and never will be.
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The seed sown is ensured by omnipotence and must produce its harvest.
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I'm sure that's something that you can look up online and find for yourself.
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The seed sown is ensured by omnipotence and must produce its harvest.
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I think that's important for us to remember at all times, but especially as we are facing
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all of the geopolitical threats that we are today, certainly the moral collapse of our
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nation as we are analyzing almost on a daily basis on this show that God is not taken aback.
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Who wouldn't want to be the child of an omnipotent father?
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So a lot of you have been sending me some headlines, Instagram posts, and tweets about this new
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And for some reason, it just started circulating in the media earlier this month, a little bit
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It's a gay parenting analysis, and it was published in BMJ Global Health.
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And it basically concluded that kids of gay parents, two moms, two dads actually fare the
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same or fare better than kids who are raised by a mom or a dad.
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The quantitative synthesis results suggested that sexual minority families may perform better
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in children's psychological adjustment and parent-child relationship than heterosexual families.
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Most of the family outcomes are similar between sexual minority and heterosexual families, and
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sexual minority families have even better outcomes in some domains.
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Relevant social risk factors of poor family outcomes included stigma and discrimination,
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poor social support and marital status, et cetera.
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The next step is to integrate multiple aspects of support and multi-level interventions to reduce
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the adverse effects on family outcomes with a long-term goal of influencing policy and lawmaking
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for better services to individuals, families, communities, and schools.
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There was Forbes, Kids Raised by Same-Sex Parents Fare the Same As or Better Than Kids of
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And in this Forbes article, they say that this is possibly because they are more tolerant.
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These families are more tolerant of diversity and more nurturing towards younger children than
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heterosexual parents, adding that exploring gender and sexual identity may actually enhance
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children's ability to succeed and thrive in a range of contexts.
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And then you have Daily Mail, children of same-sex parent families are less likely to be straight
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And, you know, some would say that this is a good thing.
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Again, probably attributed, they would say, to the diversity and open-mindedness of these
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The Guardian, children of same-sex couples, fare at least as well as in other families, says this
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Many other outlets have done write-ups on this analysis.
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They just kind of summarize the findings, the Hill, the Times.
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As I said, there were a lot of social media posts about this.
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And let's see if there are any opposing points to this.
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Now, let me say before I start, no matter what a study says, like as a Christian, we believe,
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I believe that God is better than me, that he is wiser than me.
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And he created the family, as we see so clearly in the first chapter of the first book of the
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So we see right there God's definition of gender, which is the same thing as sex.
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We don't see any kind of category that separates gender from sex that you can be, that you can
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identify as something other than what you biologically are.
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And it's not just that verse, as we've talked about very many times, the alliteration that
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I came up with probably almost five years ago at this point, but that we've talked about
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and that we have cited our references for the creation, the definition of marriage and
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But marriage between one man and one woman is rooted in creation, as we see in Genesis
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For example, Ten Commandments, honor your father and mother.
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Those are not arbitrary placements right there.
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That's just a reiteration of God's definition of marriage in the family.
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And you'll hear a lot, well, Jesus never talked about homosexuality.
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Look, as Christians, we don't just look at, well, what did God specifically talk about so
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Okay, Jesus also didn't specifically mention gang rape.
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What we see in Matthew 19, 4 through 5 is that Jesus very explicitly defines what marriage
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A man shall leave his mother and father and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become
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So everything that God says throughout the Old Testament, Jesus says too.
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So even without Matthew 19, 4 through 5, yes, Jesus agrees with Genesis 1, 27, because as
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So rooted in creation, reiterated throughout Scripture, repeated by Jesus himself, representative
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We read that in Ephesians 5, at the end of Ephesians 5, that the husband is to be like
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Christ in sacrificing himself for his bride, which represents the church.
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And so we see that those are very specific, very purposeful designations, very gender-specific
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That actually the male-female marriage is representative of the gospel itself, Christ in the church.
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Wow, that's eternal and spiritual significance beyond what our earthly minds can even understand.
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Which leads to the fifth R, which is reflective of the gospel.
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So because it's representative of Christ in the church, it's reflective of the gospel.
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This is why when you see people compromise on the definition of marriage and definition
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of gender who claim to be Christians, the rest of their theology eventually falls.
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That's why you've seen the trajectory of someone like Jen Hatmaker.
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Okay, so she starts with questioning this and then just believing that she is more loving,
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that she is wiser than God, that she knows better than God did in the beginning, rejecting
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the definition of marriage that is perfectly clear throughout scripture.
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And then she has slowly, but surely, actually pretty quickly, but surely also given in on
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all of, pretty much all of the basic tenets of Christianity.
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It's not just because they're just these obscure verses in Leviticus, even though it would be fine
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if they were, but they're much more than that, actually.
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And so when you get rid of the definition of marriage, which is so central to Christianity
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because it represents Christ and the church, that's why eventually the rest of your theological
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So I say all that to say that as a Christian, I will always believe in the definition of marriage
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And so it doesn't matter what a study says about the outcomes of kids.
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Now, I also don't believe that science is ever going to disprove God.
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And so I am always going to be skeptical of studies like this.
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But I also understand that, yes, that's God's definition of marriage.
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But I also understand that two women can be excellent moms, that two men may be excellent
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dads, like I don't think just because you are a lesbian or you are gay, that you are a bad
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In fact, I know same-sex couples who love their kids very much and would do absolutely
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The point is, not only does God define marriage one way, and he's the creator of all of this,
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But the other point is that even amazing moms can't be a dad.
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And because the genders are different, because they complement one another, because they bring
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something unique to the table, even if two moms can be great moms, even if two dads can
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be great dads, they can't ever be a complete parental unit because they can't complement
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each other the way that men and women naturally, innately do.
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That's why fatherlessness has a different effect on children and society than motherlessness
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And some people who acknowledge that there's a difference in men and women when they talk
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Don't acknowledge that when it comes to what is typically referred to as same-sex marriage.
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And I sometimes use that term, but really marriage is defined by God and it can't be
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Um, they will reject that reality when it comes to these same-sex unions that really saying
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that two men can do the same job as a man and a woman when it comes to parenting is no
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less absurd than saying a man can become a woman.
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It's the same concept that men and women are interchangeable and men and women are not
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So I just wanted to like premise all of this, that even if I didn't have problems with the
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methodology of the study and the conclusions that it came to, like I would still believe
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the same thing because it's not only about outcomes.
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Because I believe that there are plenty of kids who end up fine in life, who have two
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That doesn't mean that there wasn't a missing piece in their life.
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That doesn't mean that they don't deserve to know their mother and father.
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Um, and that doesn't mean that it's morally right either.
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Um, so I just wanted to premise it that way, but also in addition, this study has a lot of
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So the first red flag for me is that this is a study that was conducted.
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So it was conducted by 10 scholars at the School of Nursing, Guangxi Medical University
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in China, and one Chinese scholar at Duke University School of Nursing.
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This is funded partially by the National Natural Science Foundation of China, an innovation
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Now, the National Natural Science Foundation is run by the Chinese Communist Party, and if
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you know anything about so-called LGBTQ rights in China, they're few and far between.
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Um, it's very culturally, socially stigmatized.
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They actually have a lot more common sense restrictions, uh, around transitioning, like minors
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You have to be over the age of 20, but there are a variety of restrictions.
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That China has, like, yes, same-sex private sexual activity is legal, but you can't have
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any gay themes in media, including on, uh, social media.
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There are no anti-discrimination laws in China when it comes to employment, when it comes to
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There's no anti-discrimination laws in education.
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There was actually a poll in China, and I'm not sure how exactly this was conducted.
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But as of 2010, 80 to 90% of men who called themselves gay, uh, were married to women.
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And so the traditional natural family in China, um, is upheld as the ideal and homosexuality,
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certainly so-called transgenderism is not something that is protected by law at all.
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And this is a place, by the way, that does not have free speech.
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It doesn't have a First Amendment in the Constitution the way that we do.
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So the fact that an organization that is run by the Chinese Communist Party, which has done
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everything but fully outlaw LGBTQ activity and identities in China, which regularly censors
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those themes in Chinese media and social media, that is a little bit questionable to me.
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Like, I certainly don't think that this Chinese Communist Party-run institution is funding
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this study because they're brave, because they're standing up to the CCP.
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Like, you know that the dictator of China just was unanimously re-elected, quote unquote.
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Like, we've seen the footage from China, how people were dying in their homes because of the
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But this is because these people are afraid to be murdered by him and by his cronies.
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So the fact that this is being funded by the Chinese Communist Party makes me think that
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this is actually China doing what it has been doing for a very long time, which is sowing
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propaganda and confusion in the United States and the West.
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I mean, that's what they do with racial propaganda.
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After George Floyd, they were putting out all kinds of messages about how America is racist
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I mean, this is at the same time that they were literally evicting Africans from their
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apartments and not letting them in to their restaurants during COVID because they said
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that they were the main carriers of COVID, which wasn't true.
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They actually saw a lot of confusion and they push a lot of left-wing ideas through propaganda
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in the United States, even as they do not uphold those same values.
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And I don't think it's necessarily because they want to be on the left side.
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I think it's because it stokes this culture war and it stokes this division.
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I mean, Soviet Russia was doing the same thing in the early 20th century in America.
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They actually still do the same thing today when it comes to climate policy because it helps
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So that's my first red flag, that this is funded by the Chinese Communist Party, who is
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not friendly to LGBTQ issues at all, and the fact that they not only say, hey, this is
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great for kids to have gay parents, but also that they go on to say that, oh, we should
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be pushing this policy-wise and we know that they're not doing that in China.
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Again, we should all be asking, well, what's the real motivation behind this?
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So the methodology was a systematic review and meta-analysis.
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So they didn't do any original research themselves, which that doesn't in itself make us skeptical
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There are many meta-analyses out there that are fine, but they're just consolidating and
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reanalyzing the data from previous studies completed on the subject.
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So the analysis is based on 34 studies from countries where same-sex relationships are legal.
00:29:29.660
According to the U.S., U.K., parts of Europe, the team analyzed data from 16 of those studies.
00:29:41.080
The quantitative synthesis results suggested that sexual minority families may perform
00:29:45.420
better in children's psychological adjustment in parent-child relationship than heterosexual
00:29:50.220
Now that, if you listen closely, is different than what you are hearing in a lot of headlines
00:29:55.840
Well, kids with gay parents, they have the same outcomes in life and they have the same
00:30:00.960
benefits or even badder benefits than kids who have both a mom and a dad.
00:30:06.400
But that's not even exactly what this study shows.
00:30:08.960
I don't think the results and the conclusion that are put at the end of this study is actually
00:30:16.060
even supported by a lot of the things that were found.
00:30:19.460
And certainly the tweets and the headlines supporting this study aren't really correlated to a lot of
00:30:24.640
the results that were found, which is very common.
00:30:27.860
Like you see that even with the CDC, with masking, with David Zwick found that the conclusion,
00:30:32.380
the summary of the study didn't actually match the data that was in the study.
00:30:38.640
So if you look at the different categories that they studied to see whether kids are faring
00:30:44.880
better or worse among straight or homosexual couples, here's what they found.
00:30:50.380
So they looked at children's psychological adjustment.
00:30:52.900
They found that in tiny stratified age groups, no significant difference was detected between
00:30:57.560
kids of straight couples and kids of gay couples.
00:31:01.740
Two of the five studies, though, that covered this topic that they analyzed found that children
00:31:05.680
with gay parents suffered more emotional problems than kids with traditional parents.
00:31:12.640
They found that studies that studies found that children in cohabitating households, so I guess
00:31:17.840
it doesn't matter the orientation of the couple, have poorer health outcomes than children in
00:31:29.600
Marriage is the greatest stabilizer and source of security and protection for a child.
00:31:35.220
One study showed that children with lesbian parents had significantly worse physical health.
00:31:42.940
That's why they specifically cited psychological health, because on some of these things, the
00:31:50.680
They found sons of lesbian parents showed less traditionally masculine tendencies than
00:31:56.860
Children's gender identity and sexual orientation.
00:31:59.840
They found that kids in gay households were much less likely to be heterosexual.
00:32:05.180
Obviously, like I would say no, I would say it's because they were confused very early
00:32:11.900
about gender roles and about what it looks like to be a male or female.
00:32:19.240
Children in gay households have lower graduation rates and worse educational attainment than kids
00:32:24.680
The study found kids in gay households were also more likely to repeat grades than kids in
00:32:38.780
I do believe that for like having a husband, a man in the house actually reduces just my
00:32:45.660
stress a lot because there are certain things that I cannot do physically that my husband
00:32:50.980
And that just, I don't have to focus on certain things because I know my husband is going to
00:32:56.200
Whereas another woman simply physically wouldn't be able to protect us in the same way.
00:33:00.400
And so my level of stress would be higher because my responsibilities would be more.
00:33:06.280
The study showed gay households had higher levels of parent-child relationship quality,
00:33:10.980
including higher levels of warmth, greater amounts of interaction, more supportive behavior.
00:33:15.140
I would say that's really, really hard to figure out in a study.
00:33:21.580
Married couples are happier than cohabitating couples.
00:33:31.320
The author said that the only difference in social support was that gay and lesbian parents
00:33:34.420
face, quote unquote, homophobic discrimination.
00:33:39.860
A quote from the allegedly non-biased article, sexual minorities historically have faced more
00:33:46.520
rigorous scrutiny than heterosexuals regarding their rights to become parents.
00:33:50.100
I think that that's actually probably true because I think science tells us that, I mean,
00:34:01.100
Somewhere out there, whether it's sperm donor or egg donor, every child was made by a man and
00:34:09.000
And so we are purposely disrupting that natural formation, that natural process to try to meet
00:34:20.420
Whenever we go from what's natural to what's possible for the sake of cultural or political
00:34:31.220
And so the proposed actions that these authors have, they say that we need legislation and
00:34:36.460
policy that is better supporting these same-sex couples.
00:34:39.020
They say that the only reason why some same-sex couples are actually, their kids aren't doing
00:34:44.820
as well as male-female couples is because they face different kinds of social hurdles.
00:34:54.780
They don't talk about the innate differences between man and woman.
00:34:57.700
So again, what their findings were don't actually support what they summarized as the results and
00:35:06.760
They push for, you know, more inclusive policy, more inclusive representation in media.
00:35:12.520
Again, things that the Chinese Communist Party are not doing.
00:35:17.140
And then we've got some really big problems with not just the results, but also the findings
00:35:25.240
and what they summarize and also the methodology.
00:35:45.380
And then two, that the conclusions are not supported by many other studies that these researchers
00:35:53.580
And so our researcher on this show, she's an academic researcher.
00:35:57.180
And so when she looked through this study, she saw a lot of problems.
00:36:01.460
She said the methodology is a systematic review, meaning they look at previously completed research
00:36:07.940
And this can be problematic if, like the researchers in this article, the researchers only select
00:36:15.160
And that's actually what we found, that they chose the articles that they were going to analyze
00:36:19.960
and then include in their study based on the titles.
00:36:22.880
And so a lot of the titles are going to be indicative of whether the study concludes something
00:36:27.220
positive or negative about certain kinds of couples.
00:36:31.640
And so that's how they decided to include certain studies.
00:36:35.860
And so even with that, actually, their findings were not overwhelmingly positive.
00:36:40.240
And yet, again, they decided to say that their results were something that actually contradicted
00:36:44.860
So the articles for systematic review were only eligible for this analysis if they were conducted
00:36:51.040
in the country after the legalization of marriage.
00:36:53.560
So that indicates a positive bias towards what's typically referred to as gay marriage.
00:36:59.300
If you look in the United States, after Obergefell was decided in 2015, that is when the that's
00:37:08.640
when public thought, public opinion on gay marriage dramatically changed towards positivity.
00:37:13.260
The two primary researchers picked the articles based on titles, which in research articles
00:37:17.720
are almost always indicative of the findings of the article.
00:37:21.400
And so, again, they just kind of went through and they picked ones that sounded good.
00:37:25.060
This is not in any way academic or objective research.
00:37:29.540
The researchers are openly advocating also for what they refer to as gay marriage.
00:37:34.300
We advocate among policymakers, communities, schools, families, and individuals for better
00:37:37.920
awareness of family outcomes of sexual minorities.
00:37:40.280
More researchers needed to learn more about how communities around the world can support
00:37:46.320
positive development among all children of sexual minority parents and how legal and policy
00:37:51.500
contexts affect their lives and their children, the study says.
00:37:55.060
The analysis was not exact or detailed since the different, that's number three, since the
00:38:00.820
different studies have different measures or types of study, they could not adequately be
00:38:04.780
compared and had to be synthesized or aggregated, which tarnishes the reliability of your data.
00:38:10.000
For example, the six studies used in the parent-child relationship section used 28 different types
00:38:15.620
of measurement of different factors, such as express warmth, amount of interaction, criticism,
00:38:21.660
The 12 studies that measured children's psychological adjustment used 23 different measures, only a few
00:38:26.080
of which were standard child psychology measures.
00:38:28.280
The method of aggregation by the researchers for this article was not explained.
00:38:32.960
And then number four, the number of studies looked at.
00:38:35.580
Of the 1,194 topically relevant studies that the researchers found, only 34 were used for
00:38:41.460
analysis, only 16 were used for meta-analysis, again, chosen by the titles of the article.
00:38:47.560
The use of children, most of these studies were conducted in the U.S., which of course is very
00:38:55.340
According to the Department of Health and Human Services, who set regulations for performing any
00:38:59.140
research on humans, there are very specific parameters for researching children
00:39:03.140
that cause bias. Parental permission is required, which I'm not saying is a bad thing,
00:39:07.980
but obviously a parent is not going to give permission if they feel, if their child
00:39:13.180
is not a good indication of what gay parenting looks like.
00:39:18.460
The child's assent can be waived if the Institutional Review Board decides the research
00:39:23.140
holds out the prospect of direct benefit that is important to the health or well-being of the
00:39:26.760
children. That's really as much guidance as is given.
00:39:29.920
And then other countries where research was concluded, UK, Australia, the Netherlands have
00:39:35.580
similar requirements and allowances. And so all of this coming together is going to skew
00:39:41.460
the results of a study and make it really difficult to find an objective, comprehensive
00:39:48.600
review. And then we also have different studies that actually contradict what they say were the
00:39:57.600
results of this meta-analysis, that kids are actually faring the same or better.
00:40:02.300
If you look at, for example, the research that's been conducted and analyzed by them before us,
00:40:07.340
it's a child's rights organization that was started by one of my favorite guests, which is
00:40:16.340
most studies proclaiming that kids with same-sex parents fare no different than children of heterosexual
00:40:20.660
parents are methodologically flawed. Participants were aware that the purpose was to investigate
00:40:26.340
same-sex parenting. This is one of the reasons. Thus, the respondents may have aimed at producing
00:40:30.220
the desired results. Participants were often recruited through friends or through advocacy
00:40:35.120
organizations, most surveyed parental perception rather than the children's actual outcomes, which
00:40:41.000
of course is true. And if a child is in the room, which is typically the case when they are
00:40:45.660
answering these questions, they're in the room with the parent, and that is also going to skew
00:40:50.960
what they say. On average, samples of fewer than 40 children of parents in a same-sex relationship
00:40:57.240
virtually guaranteed findings showing no statistically significant difference between
00:41:01.680
the groups for some of the reasons that we just listed. And then we have this study by Walter
00:41:07.500
Shum. He is a professor of family studies at Kansas State University, and he did a study
00:41:11.860
called Same-Sex Parenting Research in September of 2018, where he reviewed over 300 national,
00:41:18.180
statewide, and transnational studies regarding academic performance, socio-behavioral health,
00:41:23.760
gender role behavior, and topics like sexual abuse and family stability. He doesn't just analyze the
00:41:29.000
conclusions of all the studies. He actually reanalyzes the data of every single study. And
00:41:33.700
actually, he found that of the 330 studies that he looked at, only 80 gave quote-unquote positive
00:41:39.400
scores to gay couples. So in some of the studies that he looks at, he found a Canadian study from
00:41:45.260
2013 that found that children of gay and lesbian couples are also about 65% as likely to have
00:41:52.960
graduated from high school, as are the children of married opposite-sex couples. This is a study by
00:42:00.960
Douglas W. Allen, and it's titled High School Graduation Rates Among Children of Same-Sex Households.
00:42:07.020
And we can link these studies, by the way, in the description of this episode so you can find for
00:42:11.260
yourself. A 1996 study of 174 Australian children found that married heterosexual couples offer the
00:42:18.540
best environment for a child's social and educational development, followed by cohabitating heterosexual
00:42:23.100
couples, and lastly by homosexual couples. That's very harsh. This is by Dr. Soterios Sarantakos. He is a
00:42:34.300
professor of social sciences in Australia. A 2007 study by Abby E. Goldberg of 37 adults,
00:42:43.680
it's a very small sample size, but raised by gay parents, found that 42% of the subjects had
00:42:47.920
challenges trusting other people. Dr. Goldberg is a professor of psychology. A 2009 study of 68 women
00:42:55.440
raised by gay fathers and 68 women raised by straight fathers found that the women with gay or bisexual
00:43:00.020
fathers had difficulty with adult attachment issues in three areas. They were less comfortable with
00:43:06.000
closeness and intimacy. They were less able to trust and depend on others. They experienced more
00:43:11.360
anxiety in relationships. A 2012 study found that children in same-sex parent families scored lower
00:43:16.820
than their peers living in married to biological parent households on two academic outcomes.
00:43:22.980
That is a 2010 study by someone named Dr. Daniel Potter. A 2012 study found that young adult children
00:43:32.160
of parents who had same-sex relationships before the subjects had reached the age of 18 were more
00:43:36.620
likely to suffer from a broad range of emotional and social problems. And then we have another study
00:43:43.520
from 2015 that found that attention deficit hyperactivity disorder was more than twice as prevalent among
00:43:49.740
children with same-sex parents than in the general population. And then on the Vim Before Us website,
00:43:56.380
they have several studies that I don't have time to get into right now that actually talk again about some
00:44:02.500
of the adverse experiences and conclusions of real data-driven studies on children who are in homosexual
00:44:13.100
outcomes. Very often, it's a lot of instability. Very often, it's a lot of emotional turbulence.
00:44:20.060
And again, it might not be necessarily because they are bad moms or bad dads. Obviously, we know that
00:44:27.200
there are straight couples that are bad parents that cause a lot of emotional turbulence. But the fact is,
00:44:32.400
is that kids need and deserve a mother and father. There are different things that they bring to the table.
00:44:37.220
And so there's always going to be something missing there. And then, of course, when we look at the
00:44:41.520
commercial surrogacy industry, when we look at sperm donation, when we look at egg donation,
00:44:46.340
that is now making up a large percentage of the children of gay couples, you are actually talking
00:44:51.200
about creating a child to purposely take them away from their mother or father, which is absolutely
00:44:56.440
unethical. Okay, we can talk about adoption. That's a different conversation. But children still,
00:45:02.980
no matter what, deserve a mother and a father. And the fact of the matter is, there's actually
00:45:07.740
a lot of research showing adverse outcomes for kids who are not given the ability, not given the
00:45:15.300
opportunity to be raised with a mother and father. And again, it is simply because men and women don't
00:45:21.320
bring the same thing to the table. Katie Faust, who started them before us, was raised by a mom and a
00:45:29.380
stepmom. And she loves her stepmom. And she knew that her moms loved her. So it's not about that.
00:45:38.580
It's not about an inability to love. It's not about an inability to parent a child or to be a good
00:45:45.200
influence. It is about recognizing gender differences. It's about recognizing how science
00:45:51.220
has created families, how God has created science to then create families. And it's about honoring that.
00:45:58.880
It is about honoring nature. It is about honoring our creation. It is about honoring the need of
00:46:05.920
children for both a mother and a father to care for them. And any study that is methodologically
00:46:13.460
flawed, that is basically lying in its results, should obviously be looked at skeptically. So just be
00:46:21.100
careful when you see the memes going around, when you see the Instagram posts, you see the infographics,
00:46:25.380
you just need to dig into the data yourself. There's a lot more actually that we could talk
00:46:30.160
about. There's a lot more studies that very often have been memory holds, not because they're not true,
00:46:35.840
but because they're no longer politically correct, that refute this idea that kids just need love.
00:46:42.660
We've talked about on the show with Dr. Brad Wilcox, the family diversity theory,
00:46:46.580
which is a debunked theory that says kids just need love. They just need adults to love them.
00:46:53.620
They just need people to take care of them. It doesn't matter who. It doesn't matter if they're
00:46:58.100
part of some polycule, polyamorous threesome relationship where they have two moms and a dad or
00:47:05.320
whatever it is, or two dads or two moms. That's just not true. Kids need a mother and a father.
00:47:11.080
Some moms are bad moms. Some dads are bad dads. That's absolutely true. But in general, if we're
00:47:16.120
looking at the most stable source of security and protection for a child, the ideal is a mother and
00:47:23.820
father. And I believe that every policy should be encouraging that for the sake of kids. It's not
00:47:30.420
about us as adults. It's not about our whims. It's not about our cultural and political changes. It is
00:47:35.900
about what is best for children. What is best for children is to be raised by a present and loving
00:47:43.280
mom and dad. And no amount of CCP-funded research is ever going to change that.
00:47:49.300
All right, guys, it's all we've got for today. Reminder, reminder, we've got new set, new stuff
00:48:06.160
next week. It's going to be super fun. You're going to love it. I'm going to love it. It's going to be
00:48:11.420
great. If you love this show, please share it with your friends. Leave us a five-star review wherever
00:48:16.080
you listen. Make sure you subscribe on YouTube as well. And again, thanks so much for sticking
00:48:20.740
around all this time on Relatable. We will be back tomorrow with more.