Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 770 ｜ Debunking the 'Kids Do Better with Gay Parents' Study

00:00:00.000 A recent study circulating on social media seems to conclude that children of same-sex

00:00:05.140 couples fare the same or even better than children of opposite-sex couples.

00:00:09.540 But is that really what the data in the study says?

00:00:13.020 Who funded this study, by the way?

00:00:14.820 How is it conducted?

00:00:16.160 And most importantly, what's the truth?

00:00:19.340 We're going to dig into all of that today on this episode of Relatable, which is brought

00:00:23.600 to you by our friends at Good Ranchers.

00:00:25.640 Go to GoodRanchers.com.

00:00:27.060 Use code Allie at checkout. 1.00

00:00:28.260 That's GoodRanchers.com, code Allie.

00:00:40.180 Hey guys, welcome to Relatable.

00:00:42.420 Happy Tuesday.

00:00:44.240 All right, before we get into the subjects that I told you that we're going to talk about

00:00:48.340 at the top of the show, there are a few things that I want to say.

00:00:51.960 One is administrative business, a little bit, and an announcement, a fun announcement.

00:00:59.180 And then the two other things are just encouragement that I've been thinking about that I've been

00:01:03.840 meaning to share with you that I will share.

00:01:06.080 And then we'll get into the story.

00:01:07.460 So number one, first point of order is that we have a new studio that has been being built

00:01:16.180 in just the other room that is absolutely amazing.

00:01:19.960 I love it so much.

00:01:21.160 I'm so excited for you guys to see it.

00:01:23.700 And we are going to show it to you next week.

00:01:26.020 I've been in this temporary set, which has been great.

00:01:28.700 I love the lighting.

00:01:29.680 You guys like the background.

00:01:31.280 It's been a great temporary set.

00:01:32.860 But it is nothing like the amazing new set that we have.

00:01:36.440 I am so, so, so excited about it.

00:01:38.120 It's very different than the previous Relatable set that we had.

00:01:42.220 I think you guys are really going to like it.

00:01:44.920 And so next week, we will be in the new set.

00:01:47.040 And we will be having a really fun episode to celebrate that.

00:01:50.160 We're going to be doing a giveaway with some products from some of my awesome sponsors that

00:01:56.760 you guys are going to love.

00:01:58.660 And we're going to do some other fun things as well.

00:02:01.200 I might show you a little bit of the set this week on social media, maybe on the Ali

00:02:06.460 Shorts page, maybe on my Instagram page.

00:02:08.520 I haven't decided yet.

00:02:09.540 But next week, make sure that you tune into YouTube next week so that you can actually

00:02:14.800 see it and not just listen to it on the listening side.

00:02:17.980 I know the vast majority of you are listening to this, but go to YouTube next week.

00:02:22.620 I think it'll be next Monday.

00:02:24.560 There's a lot that we have to do before Monday to make sure that it's finished because I want

00:02:29.340 all the things.

00:02:30.200 Because it's not just, guys, just prepare your hearts and minds.

00:02:33.820 It's not just that we are getting a new studio.

00:02:36.060 We're also going to have new opening music.

00:02:37.860 Some of you are going to be sad about that because that little tune that's played at

00:02:42.600 the beginning of Relatable has been a part of your life and a part of your daily routine

00:02:46.460 and even your kids' life and daily routine for a long time.

00:02:49.320 They recognize that little tune.

00:02:50.820 So just prepare your heart and mind that that is going to change.

00:02:55.460 Now, it might take a little bit to adjust to, but just bear with us.

00:02:59.240 We're still actually trying to figure out what music we're going to play.

00:03:01.580 That's maybe the hardest part of this Relatable refresh that we're going through is choosing

00:03:07.660 the right music.

00:03:09.140 But it's time for a refresh.

00:03:10.500 I love the branding that we have.

00:03:12.280 I loved the set that we have.

00:03:13.840 But we've been doing Relatable since 2018.

00:03:17.320 We've had that set since, I think, 2020.

00:03:20.120 So it's just time for a little update.

00:03:22.600 And you guys are really going to like it.

00:03:24.020 We're also going to have a new podcast cover.

00:03:27.280 The Relatable brand itself is now going to look different in a different font.

00:03:31.140 I really, really love it.

00:03:32.960 I think that you guys are going to like it, too.

00:03:34.840 And I'm really excited to show it to you.

00:03:36.280 So next week, hopefully next Monday, we're going to have all this new stuff rolling out.

00:03:40.920 We're also going to have new merch.

00:03:42.420 I keep on remembering all of the new things that we're going to have.

00:03:45.540 We've been working really hard for several months, like since last fall.

00:03:49.440 We've been working on all of this stuff.

00:03:51.980 And so we're going to have new merch for you guys.

00:03:55.200 And like I said, a giveaway.

00:03:57.140 It's going to be so fun.

00:03:58.280 So next week is going to be a week of spring celebration and a spring refresh for Relatable.

00:04:05.420 Can you believe that we have been doing Relatable for five years?

00:04:08.940 I think it's been five years, March, March of 2018.

00:04:13.400 It started out, I think, once a week.

00:04:15.960 And then we went to two, and then we went to three, and then we've been doing four for

00:04:19.100 quite a while, maybe since 2020.

00:04:21.640 So thank you to those of you who have been here since 2018.

00:04:26.840 Wow, I can't believe that, honestly.

00:04:29.180 And thank you to those of you who have come along the way.

00:04:32.520 And maybe you started, and then you stopped, and now you're back.

00:04:35.600 I appreciate it.

00:04:36.440 I appreciate all of you who share the show, who talk about the show, who have come to hear

00:04:41.000 me speak, who have sent me encouraging messages.

00:04:44.120 And especially those of you who pray for me.

00:04:47.340 This really is a community.

00:04:48.460 I'm just so thankful.

00:04:49.240 I'm so thankful to have been doing this for the last five years.

00:04:53.820 And there will be many, many more.

00:04:57.020 All right.

00:04:57.700 OK, so that was the first point of order.

00:04:59.920 That's next week.

00:05:01.480 Stay tuned for that.

00:05:03.260 Now, I want to give you two little points of encouragement.

00:05:07.100 So the first one is a metaphor that I've been thinking about.

00:05:10.780 Let's see if I can put these two encouragements together somehow and connect them.

00:05:16.040 So I take a kind of workout class that is driven by the music.

00:05:22.060 It is a bar class.

00:05:24.020 And I used to teach this kind of bar class a few years ago, right after I got married.

00:05:31.900 And I love it.

00:05:33.260 I've been doing it off and on for about 10 years.

00:05:36.740 Sometimes I was doing CrossFit.

00:05:38.440 Sometimes I was doing cycling.

00:05:40.140 Sometimes I was doing Orange Theory.

00:05:41.940 But this is like the kind of exercise that I love.

00:05:44.980 Sometimes I was doing nothing.

00:05:46.660 Really, that's been over the past four years.

00:05:48.420 I've kind of just fallen off the horse when it comes to exercise.

00:05:51.660 But then I started going back to these bar classes sometime last fall.

00:05:57.280 And I just absolutely love it.

00:05:59.280 And one thing I love about it is that it is driven by music, by tempo.

00:06:03.820 And so it's not that you're just doing these moves and there's music playing in the background.

00:06:08.000 But actually, as you are changing, as you're changing movements, as you're going into the

00:06:15.040 next thing, you are doing it with the transition of the music.

00:06:19.600 You're doing it to the beat of the music.

00:06:21.060 And a really good teacher, a really good instructor is integral to the quality of the class.

00:06:28.960 And one thing, I think the primary thing that makes a good instructor is the ability to

00:06:34.500 stay on the beat of the music, to hear the music, to be so in tune with the beat, with

00:06:40.500 the rhythm, that they are instructing the class to change movements at the right time.

00:06:46.820 That in addition to all of the different things that a teacher does.

00:06:50.180 And so it's difficult to teach these classes because you have to have a talent beyond just

00:06:55.100 being fit.

00:06:56.860 But not all teachers have that musical ability, which means that sometimes the classes can

00:07:04.240 be chaotic when someone is at the front of the class who is supposed to be leading the

00:07:08.900 class on tempo, on beat, and they themselves are off beat.

00:07:13.680 That means the entirety of the class is going to be off beat.

00:07:16.720 And that means in this particular kind of exercise that it's going to be chaos.

00:07:20.660 It's going to be chaos.

00:07:21.700 And there are going to be different people going at different times.

00:07:25.060 And that's not how this workout is supposed to go.

00:07:27.400 It's supposed to be driven by the beat of the music.

00:07:29.540 And yet, if you have someone who is telling you to do something on the wrong beat or change

00:07:34.040 the wrong time, and everyone in the class might be following that wrong beat or that wrong

00:07:42.240 instruction, that wrong teacher, and you yourself can hear the music, you hear the beat of the

00:07:48.120 music, you know when you're supposed to change, it can be really difficult to stay on beat.

00:07:53.260 And yet, I think the quality, the excellence of the class, the uniqueness of this kind of

00:07:58.360 exercise is found in actually staying on beat.

00:08:01.800 So I will find myself sometimes, just because I used to take this kind of class, and thankfully

00:08:06.240 because of my dear mother, I do have some kind of musical ability somewhere in my brain,

00:08:11.980 I really try to stay on beat, even sometimes when everyone is off beat.

00:08:18.480 And is that not, is that not also how we try to live our lives as we talk about being a sort

00:08:27.660 of human salmon that is constantly trying to swim upstream as everyone else is just going

00:08:33.860 with the flow.

00:08:34.960 And what you have to do in those classes is you have to close your eyes, you have to ignore

00:08:38.980 what everyone else is doing, sometimes you even have to ignore what the person that you're

00:08:43.200 supposed to be trusting to teach you is saying, and you have to hear the music, you have to

00:08:49.640 remember what is true, you have to make sure that you are staying on beat, even when everyone

00:08:57.220 else is wrong.

00:08:58.540 And that is what is required, certainly in today's culture, really throughout history when it comes

00:09:03.980 to Christians standing out in the world.

00:09:07.600 But when everyone else is doing one thing, no matter how difficult it might be to do the

00:09:12.880 right thing, no matter how much you may be standing out, no matter how difficult it may

00:09:18.200 be, no matter how much focus it may take, it is absolutely worth closing your eyes and listening

00:09:24.480 to the music.

00:09:26.540 And in my metaphor, it's probably an imperfect metaphor in a lot of different ways, but staying

00:09:32.720 true to what God's Word says, staying true to the Holy Spirit's convictions, to what we

00:09:38.740 know is true, even when everyone else is either completely off or just a little bit off, is

00:09:44.840 our task as a Christian.

00:09:48.280 And sometimes that's easy to do, sometimes that's difficult to do, sometimes the beat is

00:09:53.220 easy to hear, sometimes it's more difficult to hear, but sanctification, part of that process

00:10:00.680 is getting better and better at not just listening to the music, but staying on beat with the

00:10:06.480 music, understanding the rhythm, and then also applying it to your life, even when it seems

00:10:11.360 like everyone around you, even the people that you're listening to that have influence over

00:10:16.400 you, just don't get it.

00:10:19.240 I think we felt like that a lot over the past few years as women, as we've seen the places

00:10:25.000 that we have gone for inspiration and encouragement, like Instagram, completely erupt in things like

00:10:31.040 a false social justice ideology.

00:10:33.760 And even the Christians that we know and love and want to listen to are slightly off when 0.70

00:10:39.060 it comes to their theology surrounding political, moral, cultural issues.

00:10:44.320 And we can feel gaslit into thinking, well, maybe I'm crazy.

00:10:47.900 Maybe I'm the one who doesn't hear the music.

00:10:49.820 And yet our task is then to go back to the word of God, to compare not only what they

00:10:55.960 are saying, but also what we are saying and what we think to what he says, because God's

00:11:00.440 rhythm is always right.

00:11:02.900 And as long as our focus is staying on beat with him, this is turning into a very cheesy

00:11:08.900 metaphor, then we can rest assured that we are doing the right thing.

00:11:16.260 And we will do that fallibly, we will do that imperfectly, but isn't that our task?

00:11:22.400 So I think about that a lot when I am in these bar classes and sometimes things are just wild

00:11:29.480 and my job is to stay focused.

00:11:32.860 And that's our job in life, especially in the Christian life as well.

00:11:36.800 So just a reminder for you in my lengthy metaphor.

00:11:40.700 And then another piece of encouragement, I'm not really sure how to connect this, although

00:11:44.380 this is just another aspect of the Christian life is finding peace and trusting God and

00:11:50.420 resting in what he says.

00:11:51.980 And one of you sent me this excerpt from a sermon from Charles Spurgeon that I just really

00:11:59.040 like.

00:11:59.380 We talk a lot about the sovereignty of God and why it is so important to trust him and

00:12:04.840 why it is so important to remember that even in this political and cultural chaos that we

00:12:09.200 find ourselves in, that he is not surprised, he is not shocked, he is not worried, he's

00:12:14.100 not a God who comes in later and cleans up the mast, but he is a God who is sovereign over

00:12:17.980 all of it, whose victory is absolutely sure.

00:12:21.420 And I love how Charles Spurgeon puts this.

00:12:23.700 I mean, people were so much more frank and straightforward back in the day than we are today.

00:12:31.300 We have to put a million caveats on what we say.

00:12:33.740 We have to nuance it a million times to where we're not really saying anything at all.

00:12:37.260 We're so concerned with our tone.

00:12:39.240 We're so concerned with hurting people's feelings that we don't actually say anything of substance.

00:12:44.320 And yet Charles Spurgeon wasn't concerned about that.

00:12:46.760 And I think that's why we find so much refreshment and so much encouragement from his word.

00:12:51.600 So here's what Charles Spurgeon has to say in one of his sermons about anxiety.

00:12:57.640 Are you afraid for the infinite Jehovah that his purposes may fail? 0.76

00:13:01.940 Shame on you.

00:13:02.700 Your anxiety dishonors God.

00:13:04.940 Shall omnipotence be defeated?

00:13:07.320 Rest patiently.

00:13:08.440 God's purpose will be accomplished.

00:13:10.080 His kingdom will come.

00:13:11.340 His chosen will be saved.

00:13:12.700 And Christ shall see the travail of his soul.

00:13:15.320 Take the sweet sleep which God gives to his beloved.

00:13:17.880 The sleep of perfect confidence.

00:13:19.920 Such as Jesus slept in the hinder part of the ship when it was tossed with tempest.

00:13:24.280 The cause of God was never in jeopardy and never will be.

00:13:28.260 The seed sown is ensured by omnipotence and must produce its harvest.

00:13:34.980 That's from Farm Sermons, Charles Spurgeon.

00:13:37.820 I'm sure that's something that you can look up online and find for yourself.

00:13:41.620 The seed sown is ensured by omnipotence and must produce its harvest.

00:13:46.860 I think that's important for us to remember at all times, but especially as we are facing

00:13:50.880 all of the geopolitical threats that we are today, certainly the moral collapse of our

00:13:55.320 nation as we are analyzing almost on a daily basis on this show that God is not taken aback.

00:14:01.760 He's not thrown off by anything.

00:14:03.700 Omnipotence cannot be defeated.

00:14:06.540 And praise God for that.

00:14:07.740 Who wouldn't want to be the child of an omnipotent father?

00:14:11.500 And yet that is what we are because of Christ.

00:14:14.420 All right.

00:14:15.060 Before we get into the craziness of our day.

00:14:28.060 Okay.

00:14:28.560 So a lot of you have been sending me some headlines, Instagram posts, and tweets about this new

00:14:33.800 study that came out January 11th, 2023.

00:14:36.800 And for some reason, it just started circulating in the media earlier this month, a little bit

00:14:43.480 late last month.

00:14:44.680 It's a gay parenting analysis, and it was published in BMJ Global Health.

00:14:52.040 And it basically concluded that kids of gay parents, two moms, two dads actually fare the

00:15:01.700 same or fare better than kids who are raised by a mom or a dad.

00:15:07.320 So here's what the results say in this study.

00:15:09.880 The quantitative synthesis results suggested that sexual minority families may perform better

00:15:15.500 in children's psychological adjustment and parent-child relationship than heterosexual families.

00:15:21.480 Most of the family outcomes are similar between sexual minority and heterosexual families, and

00:15:26.020 sexual minority families have even better outcomes in some domains.

00:15:29.920 Relevant social risk factors of poor family outcomes included stigma and discrimination,

00:15:35.540 poor social support and marital status, et cetera.

00:15:38.920 The next step is to integrate multiple aspects of support and multi-level interventions to reduce

00:15:44.500 the adverse effects on family outcomes with a long-term goal of influencing policy and lawmaking

00:15:48.760 for better services to individuals, families, communities, and schools.

00:15:52.940 And so you probably saw several headlines.

00:15:55.260 There was Forbes, Kids Raised by Same-Sex Parents Fare the Same As or Better Than Kids of 1.00

00:16:00.080 Straight Couples, research finds.

00:16:02.580 And in this Forbes article, they say that this is possibly because they are more tolerant.

00:16:07.260 These families are more tolerant of diversity and more nurturing towards younger children than

00:16:11.360 heterosexual parents, adding that exploring gender and sexual identity may actually enhance

00:16:15.960 children's ability to succeed and thrive in a range of contexts.

00:16:21.060 And then you have Daily Mail, children of same-sex parent families are less likely to be straight

00:16:26.500 than adults, research claims.

00:16:29.100 And, you know, some would say that this is a good thing.

00:16:31.480 Again, probably attributed, they would say, to the diversity and open-mindedness of these

00:16:36.220 families.

00:16:37.200 The Guardian, children of same-sex couples, fare at least as well as in other families, says this

00:16:43.740 study.

00:16:44.320 Many other outlets have done write-ups on this analysis.

00:16:48.480 They just kind of summarize the findings, the Hill, the Times.

00:16:52.940 As I said, there were a lot of social media posts about this.

00:16:56.340 And so let's look at this study.

00:16:58.760 Let's see who conducted the study.

00:17:00.940 Let's see what the methodology is.

00:17:02.480 And let's see if there are any opposing points to this.

00:17:05.080 Now, let me say before I start, no matter what a study says, like as a Christian, we believe,

00:17:10.220 I believe in Genesis 127.

00:17:12.900 I believe that God is good.

00:17:14.060 I believe that God is sovereign.

00:17:15.600 I believe that God is better than me, that he is wiser than me.

00:17:18.640 And he created the family, as we see so clearly in the first chapter of the first book of the

00:17:24.000 Bible, Genesis 127.

00:17:25.600 God made them in his image, male and female.

00:17:28.360 He created them.

00:17:29.740 So we see right there God's definition of gender, which is the same thing as sex.

00:17:34.280 We don't see any kind of category that separates gender from sex that you can be, that you can

00:17:40.360 identify as something other than what you biologically are.

00:17:43.260 And we also see his creation of the family.

00:17:46.360 We see his creation of marriage right there.

00:17:50.040 It is very clear.

00:17:51.320 And it's not just that verse, as we've talked about very many times, the alliteration that

00:17:56.420 I came up with probably almost five years ago at this point, but that we've talked about

00:18:00.680 and that we have cited our references for the creation, the definition of marriage and

00:18:07.920 gender.

00:18:08.840 But marriage between one man and one woman is rooted in creation, as we see in Genesis

00:18:12.580 1.

00:18:13.100 It's reiterated throughout Scripture.

00:18:15.300 For example, Ten Commandments, honor your father and mother.

00:18:19.560 Those are not arbitrary placements right there.

00:18:22.360 Honor your father and mother.

00:18:23.440 That's just a reiteration of God's definition of marriage in the family.

00:18:26.880 So it's rooted in creation.

00:18:28.300 It's reiterated throughout Scripture.

00:18:29.620 It's repeated by Jesus himself.

00:18:32.500 And you'll hear a lot, well, Jesus never talked about homosexuality.

00:18:37.320 He never talked about those things.

00:18:39.060 Look, as Christians, we don't just look at, well, what did God specifically talk about so

00:18:43.740 we can see if it's really bad?

00:18:46.000 Okay, Jesus also didn't specifically mention gang rape.

00:18:50.000 Does that mean that he approves of that? 0.97

00:18:52.300 That's a silly argument.

00:18:54.000 What we see in Matthew 19, 4 through 5 is that Jesus very explicitly defines what marriage 0.66

00:19:01.840 is between one man and one woman.

00:19:04.980 A man shall leave his mother and father and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become 0.98

00:19:11.020 one flesh.

00:19:11.860 Plus, Jesus is God.

00:19:13.660 So everything that God says throughout the Old Testament, Jesus says too.

00:19:17.680 So even without Matthew 19, 4 through 5, yes, Jesus agrees with Genesis 1, 27, because as

00:19:24.780 we read in John 1, Jesus is God.

00:19:28.000 He was God and was with God in the beginning.

00:19:31.620 So rooted in creation, reiterated throughout Scripture, repeated by Jesus himself, representative

00:19:36.680 of Christ in the church.

00:19:38.040 We read that in Ephesians 5, at the end of Ephesians 5, that the husband is to be like

00:19:44.320 Christ in sacrificing himself for his bride, which represents the church.

00:19:50.320 And so we see that those are very specific, very purposeful designations, very gender-specific

00:19:56.400 designations that can't be just replaced.

00:19:59.860 They can't be switched around.

00:20:01.440 That actually the male-female marriage is representative of the gospel itself, Christ in the church.

00:20:08.060 Wow, that's eternal and spiritual significance beyond what our earthly minds can even understand.

00:20:14.320 Which leads to the fifth R, which is reflective of the gospel.

00:20:18.980 So because it's representative of Christ in the church, it's reflective of the gospel.

00:20:22.900 So it's a huge deal.

00:20:24.040 This is why when you see people compromise on the definition of marriage and definition

00:20:27.540 of gender who claim to be Christians, the rest of their theology eventually falls.

00:20:32.560 That's why you've seen the trajectory of someone like Jen Hatmaker. 1.00

00:20:36.220 Okay, so she starts with questioning this and then just believing that she is more loving,

00:20:41.420 that she is wiser than God, that she knows better than God did in the beginning, rejecting

00:20:46.520 the definition of marriage that is perfectly clear throughout scripture.

00:20:50.660 And then she has slowly, but surely, actually pretty quickly, but surely also given in on

00:20:57.720 all of, pretty much all of the basic tenets of Christianity.

00:21:01.240 This is how it goes.

00:21:02.660 It's not just because they're just these obscure verses in Leviticus, even though it would be fine

00:21:07.800 if they were, but they're much more than that, actually.

00:21:12.020 And so when you get rid of the definition of marriage, which is so central to Christianity

00:21:17.900 because it represents Christ and the church, that's why eventually the rest of your theological

00:21:22.260 foundation also crumbles.

00:21:24.400 So I say all that to say that as a Christian, I will always believe in the definition of marriage

00:21:30.060 because I know that God knows better than me.

00:21:32.280 And so it doesn't matter what a study says about the outcomes of kids.

00:21:38.080 That's what my foundation is.

00:21:41.180 Now, I also don't believe that science is ever going to disprove God.

00:21:46.120 And so I am always going to be skeptical of studies like this.

00:21:50.820 But I also understand that, yes, that's God's definition of marriage.

00:21:55.420 But I also understand that two women can be excellent moms, that two men may be excellent 0.86

00:22:01.260 dads, like I don't think just because you are a lesbian or you are gay, that you are a bad 0.98

00:22:07.860 dad or a bad mom.

00:22:09.260 In fact, I know same-sex couples who love their kids very much and would do absolutely

00:22:15.260 anything for their kids.

00:22:16.880 That's really not what this is about.

00:22:19.540 The point is, not only does God define marriage one way, and he's the creator of all of this,

00:22:24.120 so he gets to define it.

00:22:25.460 He always knows best.

00:22:26.820 But the other point is that even amazing moms can't be a dad. 0.77

00:22:31.880 Even amazing dads can't be a mom.

00:22:34.520 And because the genders are different, because they complement one another, because they bring 1.00

00:22:38.620 something unique to the table, even if two moms can be great moms, even if two dads can

00:22:43.920 be great dads, they can't ever be a complete parental unit because they can't complement

00:22:49.360 each other the way that men and women naturally, innately do.

00:22:54.880 Dads bring different things to the table.

00:22:56.600 Moms bring different things to the table. 1.00

00:22:57.940 That's why fatherlessness has a different effect on children and society than motherlessness

00:23:02.040 does.

00:23:03.480 Because we're unique.

00:23:04.740 We're different.

00:23:06.020 We know that.

00:23:07.780 And some people who acknowledge that there's a difference in men and women when they talk

00:23:10.960 about the transgender debate.

00:23:12.580 Don't acknowledge that when it comes to what is typically referred to as same-sex marriage.

00:23:17.960 And I sometimes use that term, but really marriage is defined by God and it can't be

00:23:21.740 same-sex.

00:23:22.340 So very often I'll say same-sex unions.

00:23:24.940 Um, they will reject that reality when it comes to these same-sex unions that really saying

00:23:33.900 that two men can do the same job as a man and a woman when it comes to parenting is no 0.97

00:23:39.780 less absurd than saying a man can become a woman.

00:23:44.280 It's actually the same underlying idea.

00:23:46.980 It's the same concept that men and women are interchangeable and men and women are not

00:23:53.000 interchangeable.

00:23:54.320 Biology tells us that.

00:23:55.480 And of course the Bible tells us that too.

00:23:56.840 So I just wanted to like premise all of this, that even if I didn't have problems with the

00:24:00.940 methodology of the study and the conclusions that it came to, like I would still believe

00:24:06.120 the same thing because it's not only about outcomes.

00:24:08.820 It's also about origin.

00:24:09.960 It's not only about how do these kids fare?

00:24:12.480 Because I believe that there are plenty of kids who end up fine in life, who have two

00:24:16.900 dads or two moms.

00:24:17.800 That doesn't mean that there wasn't a missing piece in their life.

00:24:20.320 That doesn't mean that they don't deserve to know their mother and father.

00:24:25.480 Um, and that doesn't mean that it's morally right either.

00:24:29.000 It just doesn't.

00:24:30.520 Um, so I just wanted to premise it that way, but also in addition, this study has a lot of

00:24:36.900 problems.

00:24:37.240 So the first red flag for me is that this is a study that was conducted.

00:24:44.460 So it was conducted by 10 scholars at the School of Nursing, Guangxi Medical University

00:24:50.960 in China, and one Chinese scholar at Duke University School of Nursing.

00:24:55.260 This is funded partially by the National Natural Science Foundation of China, an innovation

00:24:59.320 product of Guangxi Graduate Education.

00:25:02.500 Now, the National Natural Science Foundation is run by the Chinese Communist Party, and if

00:25:08.160 you know anything about so-called LGBTQ rights in China, they're few and far between.

00:25:14.420 Um, it's very culturally, socially stigmatized.

00:25:18.240 Homosexuality is certainly transgenderism. 0.99

00:25:20.440 They actually have a lot more common sense restrictions, uh, around transitioning, like minors

00:25:25.940 transitioning.

00:25:26.980 Um, it's certainly not allowed.

00:25:28.520 You have to be over the age of 20, but there are a variety of restrictions.

00:25:32.140 That China has, like, yes, same-sex private sexual activity is legal, but you can't have 1.00

00:25:40.280 any gay themes in media, including on, uh, social media.

00:25:44.500 There are no anti-discrimination laws in China when it comes to employment, when it comes to

00:25:49.040 people who call themselves gay.

00:25:51.260 There's no anti-discrimination laws in education.

00:25:53.540 And so it is very stigmatized.

00:25:56.000 There was actually a poll in China, and I'm not sure how exactly this was conducted.

00:25:59.940 So you can take it with a grain of salt.

00:26:02.120 But as of 2010, 80 to 90% of men who called themselves gay, uh, were married to women.

00:26:08.660 And so the traditional natural family in China, um, is upheld as the ideal and homosexuality, 1.00

00:26:17.860 certainly so-called transgenderism is not something that is protected by law at all.

00:26:22.700 And this is a place, by the way, that does not have free speech.

00:26:26.280 It doesn't have freedom of religion.

00:26:27.920 It doesn't have freedom of protection.

00:26:29.460 It doesn't have a First Amendment in the Constitution the way that we do. 0.92

00:26:33.240 So the fact that an organization that is run by the Chinese Communist Party, which has done

00:26:38.740 everything but fully outlaw LGBTQ activity and identities in China, which regularly censors

00:26:47.180 those themes in Chinese media and social media, that is a little bit questionable to me.

00:26:53.580 Like, I certainly don't think that this Chinese Communist Party-run institution is funding

00:27:01.060 this study because they're brave, because they're standing up to the CCP.

00:27:07.540 Like, you know that the dictator of China just was unanimously re-elected, quote unquote.

00:27:16.240 Again, not because he's done a great job.

00:27:18.580 Like, we've seen the footage from China, how people were dying in their homes because of the

00:27:22.640 lockdowns.

00:27:23.240 But this is because these people are afraid to be murdered by him and by his cronies.

00:27:30.000 So the fact that this is being funded by the Chinese Communist Party makes me think that

00:27:34.820 this is actually China doing what it has been doing for a very long time, which is sowing 0.81

00:27:39.860 propaganda and confusion in the United States and the West.

00:27:43.240 I mean, that's what they do with racial propaganda.

00:27:45.840 After George Floyd, they were putting out all kinds of messages about how America is racist

00:27:50.760 and how we treat Black people.

00:27:52.120 I mean, this is at the same time that they were literally evicting Africans from their

00:27:56.380 apartments and not letting them in to their restaurants during COVID because they said

00:28:00.340 that they were the main carriers of COVID, which wasn't true.

00:28:03.500 And so China does this a lot.

00:28:05.220 They actually saw a lot of confusion and they push a lot of left-wing ideas through propaganda

00:28:10.200 in the United States, even as they do not uphold those same values.

00:28:15.040 And I don't think it's necessarily because they want to be on the left side.

00:28:19.600 I think it's because it stokes this culture war and it stokes this division.

00:28:23.840 I mean, Soviet Russia was doing the same thing in the early 20th century in America.

00:28:28.800 They actually still do the same thing today when it comes to climate policy because it helps

00:28:34.020 them oil-wise.

00:28:36.000 So that's my first red flag, that this is funded by the Chinese Communist Party, who is

00:28:41.000 not friendly to LGBTQ issues at all, and the fact that they not only say, hey, this is

00:28:46.640 great for kids to have gay parents, but also that they go on to say that, oh, we should

00:28:53.740 be pushing this policy-wise and we know that they're not doing that in China.

00:28:57.720 Again, we should all be asking, well, what's the real motivation behind this?

00:29:02.660 So the methodology was a systematic review and meta-analysis.

00:29:06.340 So they didn't do any original research themselves, which that doesn't in itself make us skeptical

00:29:12.220 about it.

00:29:12.900 There are many meta-analyses out there that are fine, but they're just consolidating and

00:29:17.720 reanalyzing the data from previous studies completed on the subject.

00:29:22.360 So the analysis is based on 34 studies from countries where same-sex relationships are legal.

00:29:29.660 According to the U.S., U.K., parts of Europe, the team analyzed data from 16 of those studies.

00:29:38.320 So let me read you these results again.

00:29:41.080 The quantitative synthesis results suggested that sexual minority families may perform

00:29:45.420 better in children's psychological adjustment in parent-child relationship than heterosexual 0.51

00:29:49.680 families.

00:29:50.220 Now that, if you listen closely, is different than what you are hearing in a lot of headlines

00:29:54.580 and what you're seeing in a lot of tweets.

00:29:55.840 Well, kids with gay parents, they have the same outcomes in life and they have the same 1.00

00:30:00.960 benefits or even badder benefits than kids who have both a mom and a dad.

00:30:06.400 But that's not even exactly what this study shows.

00:30:08.960 I don't think the results and the conclusion that are put at the end of this study is actually

00:30:16.060 even supported by a lot of the things that were found.

00:30:19.460 And certainly the tweets and the headlines supporting this study aren't really correlated to a lot of

00:30:24.640 the results that were found, which is very common.

00:30:27.860 Like you see that even with the CDC, with masking, with David Zwick found that the conclusion,

00:30:32.380 the summary of the study didn't actually match the data that was in the study.

00:30:37.140 And it kind of seems the same here.

00:30:38.640 So if you look at the different categories that they studied to see whether kids are faring

00:30:44.880 better or worse among straight or homosexual couples, here's what they found. 0.93

00:30:50.380 So they looked at children's psychological adjustment.

00:30:52.900 They found that in tiny stratified age groups, no significant difference was detected between

00:30:57.560 kids of straight couples and kids of gay couples.

00:31:01.740 Two of the five studies, though, that covered this topic that they analyzed found that children

00:31:05.680 with gay parents suffered more emotional problems than kids with traditional parents. 0.88

00:31:10.640 Children's physical health.

00:31:12.640 They found that studies that studies found that children in cohabitating households, so I guess

00:31:17.840 it doesn't matter the orientation of the couple, have poorer health outcomes than children in

00:31:22.600 married households.

00:31:23.980 Of course, we knew that.

00:31:25.000 It is just much less stable.

00:31:26.780 It causes a lot more anxiety for the child.

00:31:29.600 Marriage is the greatest stabilizer and source of security and protection for a child.

00:31:35.220 One study showed that children with lesbian parents had significantly worse physical health.

00:31:40.360 So again, go back to that results conclusion.

00:31:42.940 That's why they specifically cited psychological health, because on some of these things, the

00:31:47.260 score actually isn't very good.

00:31:49.200 Children's gender role behavior.

00:31:50.680 They found sons of lesbian parents showed less traditionally masculine tendencies than

00:31:54.360 sons of heterosexual or gay male parents.

00:31:56.860 Children's gender identity and sexual orientation.

00:31:59.840 They found that kids in gay households were much less likely to be heterosexual.

00:32:04.120 I mean, is that a good thing?

00:32:05.180 Obviously, like I would say no, I would say it's because they were confused very early

00:32:11.900 about gender roles and about what it looks like to be a male or female.

00:32:17.760 Children's education outcomes.

00:32:19.240 Children in gay households have lower graduation rates and worse educational attainment than kids 1.00

00:32:23.520 in traditional households.

00:32:24.680 The study found kids in gay households were also more likely to repeat grades than kids in

00:32:28.600 traditional households.

00:32:29.840 Parents' mental health.

00:32:30.740 There is no significant difference found.

00:32:32.420 Parenting stress.

00:32:33.120 No significant difference found.

00:32:34.840 I believe that.

00:32:35.740 I believe that to an extent.

00:32:37.480 I believe that to an extent.

00:32:38.780 I do believe that for like having a husband, a man in the house actually reduces just my

00:32:45.660 stress a lot because there are certain things that I cannot do physically that my husband

00:32:50.120 can do.

00:32:50.980 And that just, I don't have to focus on certain things because I know my husband is going to

00:32:55.460 take care of it.

00:32:56.200 Whereas another woman simply physically wouldn't be able to protect us in the same way. 1.00

00:33:00.400 And so my level of stress would be higher because my responsibilities would be more.

00:33:04.880 Parent-child relationships.

00:33:06.280 The study showed gay households had higher levels of parent-child relationship quality,

00:33:10.980 including higher levels of warmth, greater amounts of interaction, more supportive behavior.

00:33:15.140 I would say that's really, really hard to figure out in a study.

00:33:19.940 Couple relationship satisfaction.

00:33:21.580 Married couples are happier than cohabitating couples. 0.96

00:33:26.020 I have absolutely no doubt about that.

00:33:28.700 Family functioning.

00:33:29.700 Results were inconclusive.

00:33:30.780 Social support.

00:33:31.320 The author said that the only difference in social support was that gay and lesbian parents

00:33:34.420 face, quote unquote, homophobic discrimination.

00:33:37.420 Again, I think really hard to quantify.

00:33:39.860 A quote from the allegedly non-biased article, sexual minorities historically have faced more

00:33:46.520 rigorous scrutiny than heterosexuals regarding their rights to become parents.

00:33:50.100 I think that that's actually probably true because I think science tells us that, I mean,

00:33:56.960 children, every child has a mother and father.

00:33:59.280 Every child has a mother and father.

00:34:01.100 Somewhere out there, whether it's sperm donor or egg donor, every child was made by a man and 1.00

00:34:06.120 a woman, a mom and a dad.

00:34:09.000 And so we are purposely disrupting that natural formation, that natural process to try to meet

00:34:15.260 the whims of adults.

00:34:17.520 I think that that does deserve scrutiny.

00:34:20.420 Whenever we go from what's natural to what's possible for the sake of cultural or political

00:34:25.520 change, then we should be skeptical.

00:34:28.320 We should be asking questions.

00:34:31.220 And so the proposed actions that these authors have, they say that we need legislation and

00:34:36.460 policy that is better supporting these same-sex couples.

00:34:39.020 They say that the only reason why some same-sex couples are actually, their kids aren't doing

00:34:44.820 as well as male-female couples is because they face different kinds of social hurdles. 0.96

00:34:54.780 They don't talk about the innate differences between man and woman.

00:34:57.700 So again, what their findings were don't actually support what they summarized as the results and

00:35:05.960 as the conclusions.

00:35:06.760 They push for, you know, more inclusive policy, more inclusive representation in media.

00:35:12.520 Again, things that the Chinese Communist Party are not doing.

00:35:16.460 They're not doing.

00:35:17.140 And then we've got some really big problems with not just the results, but also the findings

00:35:25.240 and what they summarize and also the methodology.

00:35:29.800 And I'll get into that in just one second.

00:35:31.320 All right.

00:35:42.340 So there are a few problems.

00:35:43.660 One, that the methodology was off.

00:35:45.380 And then two, that the conclusions are not supported by many other studies that these researchers

00:35:50.260 selectively excluded from their studies.

00:35:53.580 And so our researcher on this show, she's an academic researcher.

00:35:57.180 And so when she looked through this study, she saw a lot of problems.

00:35:59.940 And here's what she said.

00:36:01.460 She said the methodology is a systematic review, meaning they look at previously completed research

00:36:06.740 and combine it or compare it.

00:36:07.940 And this can be problematic if, like the researchers in this article, the researchers only select

00:36:13.040 articles that favor their desired findings.

00:36:15.160 And that's actually what we found, that they chose the articles that they were going to analyze

00:36:19.960 and then include in their study based on the titles.

00:36:22.880 And so a lot of the titles are going to be indicative of whether the study concludes something

00:36:27.220 positive or negative about certain kinds of couples.

00:36:31.640 And so that's how they decided to include certain studies.

00:36:35.860 And so even with that, actually, their findings were not overwhelmingly positive.

00:36:40.240 And yet, again, they decided to say that their results were something that actually contradicted

00:36:43.920 a lot of their findings.

00:36:44.860 So the articles for systematic review were only eligible for this analysis if they were conducted

00:36:51.040 in the country after the legalization of marriage.

00:36:53.560 So that indicates a positive bias towards what's typically referred to as gay marriage.

00:36:59.300 If you look in the United States, after Obergefell was decided in 2015, that is when the that's

00:37:08.640 when public thought, public opinion on gay marriage dramatically changed towards positivity.

00:37:13.260 The two primary researchers picked the articles based on titles, which in research articles

00:37:17.720 are almost always indicative of the findings of the article.

00:37:21.400 And so, again, they just kind of went through and they picked ones that sounded good.

00:37:25.060 This is not in any way academic or objective research.

00:37:29.540 The researchers are openly advocating also for what they refer to as gay marriage.

00:37:34.300 We advocate among policymakers, communities, schools, families, and individuals for better

00:37:37.920 awareness of family outcomes of sexual minorities.

00:37:40.280 More researchers needed to learn more about how communities around the world can support

00:37:46.320 positive development among all children of sexual minority parents and how legal and policy

00:37:51.500 contexts affect their lives and their children, the study says.

00:37:55.060 The analysis was not exact or detailed since the different, that's number three, since the

00:38:00.820 different studies have different measures or types of study, they could not adequately be

00:38:04.780 compared and had to be synthesized or aggregated, which tarnishes the reliability of your data.

00:38:10.000 For example, the six studies used in the parent-child relationship section used 28 different types

00:38:15.620 of measurement of different factors, such as express warmth, amount of interaction, criticism,

00:38:19.640 and level of battle, quote unquote.

00:38:21.660 The 12 studies that measured children's psychological adjustment used 23 different measures, only a few

00:38:26.080 of which were standard child psychology measures.

00:38:28.280 The method of aggregation by the researchers for this article was not explained.

00:38:32.960 And then number four, the number of studies looked at.

00:38:35.580 Of the 1,194 topically relevant studies that the researchers found, only 34 were used for

00:38:41.460 analysis, only 16 were used for meta-analysis, again, chosen by the titles of the article.

00:38:47.560 The use of children, most of these studies were conducted in the U.S., which of course is very

00:38:51.960 glorifying of what's called gay marriage.

00:38:55.340 According to the Department of Health and Human Services, who set regulations for performing any

00:38:59.140 research on humans, there are very specific parameters for researching children

00:39:03.140 that cause bias. Parental permission is required, which I'm not saying is a bad thing,

00:39:07.980 but obviously a parent is not going to give permission if they feel, if their child

00:39:13.180 is not a good indication of what gay parenting looks like.

00:39:18.460 The child's assent can be waived if the Institutional Review Board decides the research

00:39:23.140 holds out the prospect of direct benefit that is important to the health or well-being of the

00:39:26.760 children. That's really as much guidance as is given.

00:39:29.920 And then other countries where research was concluded, UK, Australia, the Netherlands have

00:39:35.580 similar requirements and allowances. And so all of this coming together is going to skew

00:39:41.460 the results of a study and make it really difficult to find an objective, comprehensive

00:39:48.600 review. And then we also have different studies that actually contradict what they say were the

00:39:57.600 results of this meta-analysis, that kids are actually faring the same or better.

00:40:02.300 If you look at, for example, the research that's been conducted and analyzed by them before us,

00:40:07.340 it's a child's rights organization that was started by one of my favorite guests, which is

00:40:12.140 Katie Faust. She says this on the website,

00:40:16.340 most studies proclaiming that kids with same-sex parents fare no different than children of heterosexual

00:40:20.660 parents are methodologically flawed. Participants were aware that the purpose was to investigate

00:40:26.340 same-sex parenting. This is one of the reasons. Thus, the respondents may have aimed at producing 0.89

00:40:30.220 the desired results. Participants were often recruited through friends or through advocacy

00:40:35.120 organizations, most surveyed parental perception rather than the children's actual outcomes, which

00:40:41.000 of course is true. And if a child is in the room, which is typically the case when they are

00:40:45.660 answering these questions, they're in the room with the parent, and that is also going to skew

00:40:50.960 what they say. On average, samples of fewer than 40 children of parents in a same-sex relationship

00:40:57.240 virtually guaranteed findings showing no statistically significant difference between

00:41:01.680 the groups for some of the reasons that we just listed. And then we have this study by Walter

00:41:07.500 Shum. He is a professor of family studies at Kansas State University, and he did a study

00:41:11.860 called Same-Sex Parenting Research in September of 2018, where he reviewed over 300 national,

00:41:18.180 statewide, and transnational studies regarding academic performance, socio-behavioral health,

00:41:23.760 gender role behavior, and topics like sexual abuse and family stability. He doesn't just analyze the

00:41:29.000 conclusions of all the studies. He actually reanalyzes the data of every single study. And

00:41:33.700 actually, he found that of the 330 studies that he looked at, only 80 gave quote-unquote positive

00:41:39.400 scores to gay couples. So in some of the studies that he looks at, he found a Canadian study from

00:41:45.260 2013 that found that children of gay and lesbian couples are also about 65% as likely to have

00:41:52.960 graduated from high school, as are the children of married opposite-sex couples. This is a study by

00:42:00.960 Douglas W. Allen, and it's titled High School Graduation Rates Among Children of Same-Sex Households.

00:42:07.020 And we can link these studies, by the way, in the description of this episode so you can find for

00:42:11.260 yourself. A 1996 study of 174 Australian children found that married heterosexual couples offer the

00:42:18.540 best environment for a child's social and educational development, followed by cohabitating heterosexual 0.88

00:42:23.100 couples, and lastly by homosexual couples. That's very harsh. This is by Dr. Soterios Sarantakos. He is a

00:42:34.300 professor of social sciences in Australia. A 2007 study by Abby E. Goldberg of 37 adults,

00:42:43.680 it's a very small sample size, but raised by gay parents, found that 42% of the subjects had

00:42:47.920 challenges trusting other people. Dr. Goldberg is a professor of psychology. A 2009 study of 68 women

00:42:55.440 raised by gay fathers and 68 women raised by straight fathers found that the women with gay or bisexual

00:43:00.020 fathers had difficulty with adult attachment issues in three areas. They were less comfortable with

00:43:06.000 closeness and intimacy. They were less able to trust and depend on others. They experienced more

00:43:11.360 anxiety in relationships. A 2012 study found that children in same-sex parent families scored lower

00:43:16.820 than their peers living in married to biological parent households on two academic outcomes.

00:43:22.980 That is a 2010 study by someone named Dr. Daniel Potter. A 2012 study found that young adult children

00:43:32.160 of parents who had same-sex relationships before the subjects had reached the age of 18 were more

00:43:36.620 likely to suffer from a broad range of emotional and social problems. And then we have another study

00:43:43.520 from 2015 that found that attention deficit hyperactivity disorder was more than twice as prevalent among

00:43:49.740 children with same-sex parents than in the general population. And then on the Vim Before Us website,

00:43:56.380 they have several studies that I don't have time to get into right now that actually talk again about some

00:44:02.500 of the adverse experiences and conclusions of real data-driven studies on children who are in homosexual

00:44:13.100 outcomes. Very often, it's a lot of instability. Very often, it's a lot of emotional turbulence.

00:44:20.060 And again, it might not be necessarily because they are bad moms or bad dads. Obviously, we know that

00:44:27.200 there are straight couples that are bad parents that cause a lot of emotional turbulence. But the fact is, 1.00

00:44:32.400 is that kids need and deserve a mother and father. There are different things that they bring to the table.

00:44:37.220 And so there's always going to be something missing there. And then, of course, when we look at the

00:44:41.520 commercial surrogacy industry, when we look at sperm donation, when we look at egg donation,

00:44:46.340 that is now making up a large percentage of the children of gay couples, you are actually talking

00:44:51.200 about creating a child to purposely take them away from their mother or father, which is absolutely

00:44:56.440 unethical. Okay, we can talk about adoption. That's a different conversation. But children still,

00:45:02.980 no matter what, deserve a mother and a father. And the fact of the matter is, there's actually

00:45:07.740 a lot of research showing adverse outcomes for kids who are not given the ability, not given the

00:45:15.300 opportunity to be raised with a mother and father. And again, it is simply because men and women don't 1.00

00:45:21.320 bring the same thing to the table. Katie Faust, who started them before us, was raised by a mom and a 0.99

00:45:29.380 stepmom. And she loves her stepmom. And she knew that her moms loved her. So it's not about that.

00:45:38.580 It's not about an inability to love. It's not about an inability to parent a child or to be a good

00:45:45.200 influence. It is about recognizing gender differences. It's about recognizing how science

00:45:51.220 has created families, how God has created science to then create families. And it's about honoring that.

00:45:58.880 It is about honoring nature. It is about honoring our creation. It is about honoring the need of

00:46:05.920 children for both a mother and a father to care for them. And any study that is methodologically

00:46:13.460 flawed, that is basically lying in its results, should obviously be looked at skeptically. So just be

00:46:21.100 careful when you see the memes going around, when you see the Instagram posts, you see the infographics,

00:46:25.380 you just need to dig into the data yourself. There's a lot more actually that we could talk

00:46:30.160 about. There's a lot more studies that very often have been memory holds, not because they're not true,

00:46:35.840 but because they're no longer politically correct, that refute this idea that kids just need love.

00:46:42.660 We've talked about on the show with Dr. Brad Wilcox, the family diversity theory,

00:46:46.580 which is a debunked theory that says kids just need love. They just need adults to love them.

00:46:53.620 They just need people to take care of them. It doesn't matter who. It doesn't matter if they're

00:46:58.100 part of some polycule, polyamorous threesome relationship where they have two moms and a dad or

00:47:05.320 whatever it is, or two dads or two moms. That's just not true. Kids need a mother and a father.

00:47:11.080 Some moms are bad moms. Some dads are bad dads. That's absolutely true. But in general, if we're

00:47:16.120 looking at the most stable source of security and protection for a child, the ideal is a mother and

00:47:23.820 father. And I believe that every policy should be encouraging that for the sake of kids. It's not

00:47:30.420 about us as adults. It's not about our whims. It's not about our cultural and political changes. It is

00:47:35.900 about what is best for children. What is best for children is to be raised by a present and loving

00:47:43.280 mom and dad. And no amount of CCP-funded research is ever going to change that.

00:47:49.300 All right, guys, it's all we've got for today. Reminder, reminder, we've got new set, new stuff

00:48:06.160 next week. It's going to be super fun. You're going to love it. I'm going to love it. It's going to be

00:48:11.420 great. If you love this show, please share it with your friends. Leave us a five-star review wherever

00:48:16.080 you listen. Make sure you subscribe on YouTube as well. And again, thanks so much for sticking

00:48:20.740 around all this time on Relatable. We will be back tomorrow with more.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - March 14, 2023

Ep 770 ｜ Debunking the 'Kids Do Better with Gay Parents' Study

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