Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 871 ｜ My Advice to New Moms ｜ Q&A

00:00:00.680 Do I ever doubt my faith?

00:00:03.500 Why or why not?

00:00:04.760 What are some of my biggest tips for new moms?

00:00:08.920 Also, why aren't Protestants more strongly against birth control?

00:00:13.240 These are some questions that you guys have asked me.

00:00:15.960 We will address those today and quite a few more on this episode of Relatable, which is

00:00:20.740 brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers.

00:00:22.920 Go to GoodRanchers.com.

00:00:24.520 Use code Allie at checkout for a discount.

00:00:26.400 That's GoodRanchers.com, code Allie.

00:00:30.000 Hey guys, welcome to Relatable.

00:00:39.720 Hope everyone is having a wonderful day, a wonderful week.

00:00:42.880 All right, we're going to get through some of the questions that you guys sent me per

00:00:46.280 usual.

00:00:47.020 Some will be fun and lighthearted.

00:00:48.460 Some will be a little bit deeper.

00:00:50.380 And hopefully you'll get a lot out of all of them.

00:00:54.220 All right, I want to answer this question, which I actually meant to answer last time and I

00:00:58.740 just forgot, but I thought that this was interesting.

00:01:01.320 So this is a question, presumably from a Catholic, I'm not sure, but just how it's worded, that's

00:01:07.100 what I'm assuming.

00:01:08.180 And the question is, why aren't Protestants more strongly against birth control?

00:01:13.620 And so there is, I think, kind of this idea that Catholics are most strongly against birth

00:01:18.640 control.

00:01:19.100 And that is probably true if you're looking at all different kinds of contraceptives, whereas

00:01:25.660 many Protestants, especially many evangelical Protestants, especially white evangelical Protestants,

00:01:31.960 which is by far the most conservative subset of Protestantism, they may see or we may see

00:01:39.460 hormonal birth control as immoral, but not necessarily all forms of contraceptives like condoms and things

00:01:48.600 like that.

00:01:49.080 Most Protestants aren't concerned about that, whereas you will probably find more Catholics

00:01:54.120 who would be against even that kind of contraceptive.

00:01:58.420 So I see what you're saying there.

00:02:00.440 And it does seem like the Catholics who are anti-birth control are more consistent and louder

00:02:07.880 proponents of not using birth control than Protestants are. 0.85

00:02:12.440 But I wanted to look this up on Pew Research because I actually, I find this a lot.

00:02:17.940 There are a lot of Catholics whom I love.

00:02:19.940 Like, I love that you guys listen to the podcast.

00:02:21.900 You guys know that I am a Reformed Protestant.

00:02:25.620 And so we don't align on some things, but on a lot of things we certainly agree on.

00:02:30.100 So I'm very glad you're here.

00:02:31.320 I'm glad that we're friends and that you follow me.

00:02:33.320 And I really respect and admire a lot of your advocacy, especially when it comes to pro-life.

00:02:38.060 But I get a lot of like presumptuous questions like, why aren't Protestants more like this?

00:02:42.220 Or why aren't they more conservative about this?

00:02:44.140 Why aren't they as outspoken about this as Catholics are?

00:02:48.460 And actually, it's not true.

00:02:51.340 Typically, when I get these kinds of questions and these accusations about Protestants not

00:02:56.260 being strong on something, when you look at the data, Catholics, and this is just, okay, 0.99

00:03:00.980 this is just true.

00:03:01.820 When it comes to Catholics in general, and just like Protestants, there's a difference between

00:03:06.280 Catholics who actually attend church and who are actually very observant versus Catholics 0.64

00:03:11.880 in name only.

00:03:12.780 The same thing is true of Protestants and how they view the world. 0.99

00:03:16.420 But if you look at Catholics in general versus Protestants in general, Catholics are much more

00:03:21.200 liberal on almost every single subject than Protestants in general are.

00:03:26.300 Whether you're talking about abortion, whether you're talking about birth control, whether you're

00:03:30.220 talking about homosexuality or gender, just look at the research, especially the research

00:03:35.220 that Pew Research has, and you will find that that tends to be true.

00:03:40.140 So I wanted to look at this on birth control and contraceptive.

00:03:45.620 So three quarters, this is the headline of this particular study, and I can link it for

00:03:51.300 Pew Research, three quarters of evangelical Protestants say having an abortion is morally wrong.

00:03:55.760 But there are a lot of questions underneath this.

00:03:57.860 So the first question is about using contraceptives, and there are three charts, or there are three

00:04:03.960 rows in this.

00:04:05.020 Morally wrong, morally acceptable, not a moral issue.

00:04:08.220 So I will say that 4%, only 4%, this is actually incredible, only 4% of Protestants say that using

00:04:16.280 contraceptives is morally wrong versus 8% of Catholics. 0.55

00:04:20.380 And so there are more Catholics who say, as I said a few minutes ago, that using contraceptives

00:04:25.580 is morally wrong.

00:04:26.540 But here's also something that's interesting.

00:04:28.300 If you're looking at morally acceptable, the percentage of Protestants that believe using 0.91

00:04:34.280 contraceptives is morally acceptable is 37% versus Catholics, 41% of Catholics. 0.92

00:04:41.720 So more Catholics than Protestants think that using contraceptives is morally acceptable.

00:04:48.240 And then 48% of Catholics think it's not a moral issue.

00:04:51.760 56% of Protestants think it is not a moral issue.

00:04:56.420 Now, here's something interesting about abortion.

00:04:59.000 I hear a lot, like, why aren't Protestants, why aren't evangelicals as outspoken about abortion

00:05:04.500 as Catholics are?

00:05:06.160 That's simply not true.

00:05:07.320 I really respect and admire all of my Catholic friends who are so staunchly pro-life and are

00:05:13.080 leading in a lot of ways the pro-life movement.

00:05:15.420 But the pro-life movement just is made up, the majority of the pro-life movement is made

00:05:20.400 up of conservative evangelicals.

00:05:23.340 That's just a fact.

00:05:24.540 And so I just don't think that that is, I just don't think that that's true.

00:05:28.720 And if you look at the statistics here, 51% of Catholics believe that abortion is morally

00:05:35.940 wrong versus 54% of Protestants.

00:05:38.860 But if you break that down to the category that I am in, white evangelical, 76%, 76% of white

00:05:47.940 evangelicals, a subset of Protestantism, believe that having an abortion is morally wrong versus

00:05:54.000 51% of Catholics.

00:05:56.800 16% of Catholics think that having an abortion is morally acceptable versus 14% of Protestants,

00:06:05.160 7% of white evangelicals.

00:06:07.620 45% of Catholics, or sorry, 31% of Catholics think it's not a moral issue at all versus 28% of Protestants

00:06:15.560 and 13% of white evangelicals.

00:06:19.180 And when it comes to homosexuality, like a huge difference.

00:06:26.420 Catholics are much more accepting of homosexuality than Protestants are.

00:06:30.960 So 32% of Catholics say that homosexual behavior is morally wrong.

00:06:36.960 This is all under the same study, by the way, versus 51% of Protestants, 72% of white evangelicals.

00:06:45.920 It's 26% or 16%.

00:06:48.320 Sorry, I keep getting the one under it confused.

00:06:49.920 16% of Catholics believe that homosexual behavior is morally acceptable versus 12% of Protestants.

00:07:01.080 Not a moral issue.

00:07:02.680 48% of Catholics believe that.

00:07:04.760 Only 33% of Protestants believe that.

00:07:07.120 22% of white evangelicals.

00:07:09.740 And so I just think it's important to look at the data there.

00:07:13.540 And I think I gave enough caveats and nuances, but because I have so many strong conservative

00:07:18.620 Catholics following me, I do get a lot of these kind of like accusatory, presumptuous questions.

00:07:24.200 Why don't Protestants do more of this? 1.00

00:07:25.780 I'm like, well, let's look at the data, actually.

00:07:28.620 Because Protestants just tend to be more conservative on those things, especially those of us who like

00:07:36.540 go to churches that actually like believe in the Bible, because there are many Protestant

00:07:41.260 churches that quite frankly don't, and those churches tend to be more liberal.

00:07:45.100 I'm sure that's true, obviously, of Catholic churches too, ones who actually care about 0.93

00:07:48.920 the, you know, the authority of the Bible and those that don't.

00:07:52.520 So anyway, I've been wanting to answer that question.

00:07:54.640 So there is that.

00:07:56.440 A next question, a more lighthearted question, my favorite day of the year.

00:08:15.720 Now, is this a reference to Miss Congeniality?

00:08:18.520 Is this like, what's your favorite date?

00:08:20.480 And she's like, April 24th, because it's not too hot and it's not too cold and all you

00:08:24.720 need is a light jacket. And she misunderstood the question.

00:08:28.060 If it's a reference to that, thank you for referencing that.

00:08:31.240 That is a movie and a line of my youth that I appreciate.

00:08:35.700 My favorite day of the year, probably July 4th.

00:08:39.160 I just love the 4th of July.

00:08:40.760 I love summer. Summer is my favorite season, even though it is insufferably hot.

00:08:46.680 I just, I love 4th of July festivities.

00:08:50.300 I love the feeling of it. I love the pool.

00:08:54.380 So probably, yeah, probably the 4th of July. Is that bad?

00:08:57.300 Was I supposed to say Christmas or Easter? Sorry.

00:09:00.860 All right. Let's see.

00:09:02.760 Do you ever doubt your faith? Why or why not?

00:09:05.620 So this is a deeper question. I'm not going to spend too much time on it.

00:09:08.780 So in high school, we read a senior year of high school as a class,

00:09:14.820 The Reason for God by Tim Keller.

00:09:16.860 And look, I know we've got some disagreements as conservative Christians with some of the things

00:09:20.560 that Tim Keller says, some of the things that he doesn't say when it comes to really important

00:09:24.780 moral and political issues. I am with you on that.

00:09:28.660 That doesn't change the fact that his books have really helped, or at least kind of when I was

00:09:33.860 coming into the faith, you know, really strongly and genuinely as a 17, 18 year old.

00:09:43.100 Like it doesn't change the fact that his works have had a lot of, had a big influence on me and

00:09:49.720 still do in a lot of ways. I've read probably more books from Tim Keller than I have from

00:09:54.000 any other author. So anyway, in Reason for God, he talks about a faith without doubt is like a body

00:10:00.560 without antibodies. And I don't remember if that was his direct quote or if he was quoting someone

00:10:04.820 else, but that's really stuck with me. And now I don't think that we should seek out doubts.

00:10:09.680 I don't think that, you know, to try to fit in with the age of deconstruction, like we should be

00:10:15.660 like, oh yeah, like I'm really, I'm really doubtful too. Yeah, I was taught that growing up and now I'm

00:10:21.420 going to repudiate purity culture just because that's the cool thing to do, whatever. But I do

00:10:25.760 think that it's okay to have thoughtful questions and thoughtful, and thoughtful doubts. Now, I don't

00:10:31.980 want to put a virtue on doubt though, as if it's something that's good. Like I don't think

00:10:37.980 doubting Thomas was an example that we are supposed to follow. I think that we can see that there is

00:10:44.640 grace for those doubts and that God is big enough for our questions. And I think it's okay to have

00:10:51.800 doubts and even can be good to have doubts as long as we lean into God's truth in order to try to

00:10:58.600 understand them better and to try to diminish them or to rectify them. I don't think doubts that we

00:11:07.460 allow to just percolate, that we allow to weaken our faith, that we allow the world to answer for us

00:11:13.980 are healthy. I think those kinds of doubts that we don't actually wrestle with, like using the power

00:11:20.740 of God and the truth of God's word, I think that they can do serious damage, that they can get their

00:11:25.620 foot in the door, they can become a stronghold. And so I don't think it's good for us to just say,

00:11:31.180 yeah, I have doubts and not to do anything about them. Look, there are theologians for the past 2,000

00:11:38.700 years who are much smarter than all of us, who know a lot more about the Bible than we do, who I promise

00:11:44.980 you have had the same doubts and the same questions that you and I have had. That's one of my gripes with

00:11:50.020 the whole deconstruction movement is the arrogance, not from everyone, but from a lot of the so-called

00:11:55.460 thought leaders there that act like their questions that they have about God and the Bible and morality

00:12:01.760 and existential issues are novel. Like no one has ever questioned before the existence of evil. Like

00:12:09.420 no one has ever asked how it's possible for God to be all good and all powerful and allow such evil

00:12:17.380 stuff to happen. Like people have asked those questions before. People have gone through really

00:12:22.700 difficult trials, really tough times, and have had to wrestle with how could a good and loving God who

00:12:28.820 says that he's my good shepherd and my father and who loves me so much that he sent his son to die for

00:12:33.640 me, allow something horrible like this to happen to me or my child. And so I take comfort in that alone

00:12:39.480 is that I remember that there have been Christians much stronger than me, much smarter than me,

00:12:44.820 who have gone through much more difficult things, who have held on to their faith, even through their

00:12:50.380 doubts and their questions. And so let us go to the wisdom of the word and the wisdom of godly and

00:12:57.740 strong people who have walked through the fires of tribulation and asked many of our same questions

00:13:02.780 when we have doubts. Some of the things that I just listed, those are some of the doubts that I have,

00:13:07.500 or I wouldn't even say doubts as much as questions. And are there moments when, just to be transparent,

00:13:13.120 I'm like, whoa, what if it's not what I think? What if it's totally different? What if that person

00:13:19.820 is right? Of course, there are moments that we all have that way because we're human, because we're

00:13:25.980 fallible. Those moments won't go away until glory, until eternity. And so it's okay to have those

00:13:34.560 questions. But again, we have to pray through them. We have to think through them. We have to work

00:13:39.460 through them. We have to work out our salvation, as we are told in Philippians 2, with fear and with

00:13:45.360 trembling, with humility. God is big enough for our questions. I hear that a lot. But I also hear,

00:13:52.440 you know, God is big enough for our anger. God is big enough for our shaking our fist, asking,

00:13:57.600 why would you do this? Sure, he's big enough. But have you read the book of Job?

00:14:06.820 He doesn't take well to that. He doesn't like that. He doesn't appreciate questioning his authority

00:14:14.220 and questioning his justice and questioning his righteousness, questioning his judgment.

00:14:19.680 That's not something that he takes happily to. Is he big enough to, quote unquote,

00:14:24.500 handle it? Of course, he's God. I don't even like using that language. But if you want to see how God

00:14:30.480 responds to our assuming that we know better than him, you can read the end of Job. It's not very

00:14:39.800 nicely. That doesn't mean there's not grace and forgiveness. There was grace and forgiveness for

00:14:44.020 Job. But God chastised him. And so I think in our doubts, we have to realize that we are not God.

00:14:51.000 There's not going to be an answer to all the questions that we have on this side of eternity.

00:14:58.740 And I think that's okay. And, you know, people often when we talk about like predestination and

00:15:05.000 things like that, which personally, like I think is so clear just in the character of God, but also

00:15:11.100 passages like Ephesians 1.5, that, oh, like, aren't you scared you're not chosen? Look,

00:15:18.700 I spent years of my life when I was little asking God over and over again to come into my heart.

00:15:29.000 Asking God over and over again to please die for my or to please help me believe that you died for

00:15:35.120 my sins so I wouldn't go to hell. And you know what really I was hung up on probably ages like six to,

00:15:42.680 I don't know, maybe 16, was did I do it right? Do I have little enough doubt? Is my faith really

00:15:52.400 strong enough? Well, I did keep messing up after that. I did keep, you know, you know, disrespecting

00:15:57.940 my parents. I didn't read my Bible. This idea that salvation is actually dependent on me,

00:16:04.340 that it's dependent on my faith, and that it's not about God choosing us. That creates a lot more

00:16:12.280 insecurity. That creates a kind of performance-based flimsy, like shaky salvation story that I'm glad

00:16:21.900 is not my testimony. So when people say, well, you know, aren't you so worried about predestination,

00:16:27.720 Calvinism, all that stuff? I'm like, well, actually, I think the fact that God chose us

00:16:34.140 before he laid the foundations of the world, as Ephesians 1 tells us, gives me so much security

00:16:41.120 because it's not about me. I didn't contribute to my salvation. And so I do have the freedom to doubt

00:16:48.440 and to question and to go to God with these things and to know that that's not what determines whether

00:16:57.780 I am sincerely saved or not.

00:17:04.140 Let's see. Well, some of these questions, I just don't have the full experience and wisdom to be

00:17:17.620 able to answer about motherhood and marriage. Let's see. But I will say top tips for new moms. 1.00

00:17:23.500 Okay. That's a good question. Oh, goodness. There's so many tips. There's so many tips that

00:17:29.000 I could give you. And these are my opinion. Okay. This is also like controversial territory to step

00:17:36.680 into because everything, everyone does things differently. And I'm very much, unless it's sin,

00:17:41.280 unless it's actually harmful, I am very much of the mind as a mom that what works for you and your

00:17:47.320 family works for you and your family. Again, unless there is some kind of like objective moral

00:17:52.420 issue with it. Now, that doesn't mean I disagree or that doesn't mean I agree with everyone's

00:17:58.680 methods of motherhood. But, you know, a lot of my friends, a lot of people that I follow,

00:18:04.480 they do things in their day-to-day lives that I wouldn't do. There are things that I do

00:18:08.400 that if I advertise those things like, you know, daily routines or like food or like all the kind of

00:18:16.120 all the kind of stuff that moms do on a day-to-day basis, there'll be plenty of people that would be 1.00

00:18:20.260 like, I wouldn't do it that way. Or that doesn't make sense. Or I wouldn't have explained it like

00:18:24.200 that. Whatever. So, so just understand, I understand that there are going to be disagreements. But

00:18:30.260 when it comes to new moms, like brand spanking new moms, the first thing that I would say is let 1.00

00:18:37.380 other people do things for you that you don't have to do. The only thing you have to do right now,

00:18:44.480 the only thing that only you can do is be a mother to your child. No one else can do that.

00:18:50.620 I hope that you have a supportive husband who is a great dad. That's great. He can be a supportive

00:18:54.740 husband and great dad. I hope you have a mom, mother-in-law, sisters, friends that can come.

00:18:59.900 They can help you clean. They can help you cook. They can help you do all of these things. Do not

00:19:04.420 deny help. Do not. Okay. I'm telling you right now. Don't you deny help. Someone says, can I do your

00:19:10.060 laundry? Can I clean your kitchen? Can I hold the baby while you shower? Only you can shower. No one

00:19:14.980 can shower for you. So that would be on the list of things that only you can do. You say yes. You

00:19:21.040 don't say, are you sure? You don't say, well, only if you really want to. You say yes. Enthusiastically.

00:19:26.760 You will bless that person because they want to bless you. They want the blessing, whether it's selfish

00:19:32.220 or not. They want the blessing of feeling really good about using their time and their resources on your

00:19:38.360 behalf. So let them. These first few weeks, especially maybe the first few months, if you

00:19:45.360 can get away with only doing the things that only you can do, only you can be a parent to your

00:19:50.140 toddlers, only you can be a mother to this child, only do those things. And you know what I also had

00:19:56.540 to realize? And this was before I gave birth last time. I wanted everything to be in order. I wanted

00:20:02.300 all of my rooms to be cleaned out. I wanted everything to be organized. I wanted food to be prepared.

00:20:06.940 I wanted all of my ducks in a row before I could allow myself to relax and really go into labor

00:20:12.280 and all of that. And that just wasn't going to happen. You know, I had an almost two-year-old

00:20:17.200 and I was trying to get work done and everything before I had the baby and I just had to let

00:20:21.560 things go. I had to realize the pantry was probably going to get messy again. I probably

00:20:26.280 wasn't going to make it to Goodwill to give all these clothes away. I probably should have

00:20:30.860 asked for more help than I did, but I also had to just be at peace with some things still

00:20:35.840 being in chaos. I had to be okay with the mess. And so rather than trying to control my environment

00:20:42.140 to be perfect so I could try to manufacture peace on the inside, I had to tap into the

00:20:47.780 peace that's already there and allow my circumstances and allow my outside environment to just be.

00:20:54.720 I had to realize that my peace, my calm could not be dependent on everything being perfect

00:21:01.580 and in order outside of me because I just didn't have control over those things and that was

00:21:07.420 actually going to cause me more stress. So that is just like a general tip that I would give you

00:21:13.260 for pregnancy, also for new motherhood, is that like God has given you peace. Tap into that peace

00:21:21.060 that you have inside. Everything does not have to be perfect for you to be a happy, joyful,

00:21:26.040 and peaceful mom. You're not always going to feel happy, joyful, and peaceful, by the way. That's

00:21:30.300 okay. Your breastfeeding journey doesn't go the way you want it to. You wish your husband would pick 0.93

00:21:34.860 up the slack a little bit more. You wish the house would be cleaner, whatever it is. Some things you're

00:21:41.660 just going to have to let go and you cannot allow your peace to depend on those things. Get help also

00:21:48.380 with sleep for your baby. I know this is controversial. I just had to add something controversial in there.

00:21:54.100 But we love taking care of babies. And I know there is debate about this. Some people will be like,

00:22:00.940 no, I'm going to let my baby sleep with me until they're six years old. I love waking up every two

00:22:06.320 hours. Okay. That's one of those things that I'm like, you do you as a mom. Like if you want to like

00:22:12.760 co-sleep with your baby and you don't want to do any kind of sleep training, I'm talking about 0.53

00:22:17.000 gentle sleep training, all right? I'm not talking about abandoning your crying newborn at all.

00:22:21.800 But getting on rhythms and schedules and helping them learn how to, even as you're there, helping

00:22:28.680 them fall asleep on their own, girl, that is like maybe the best thing that we did. Some people

00:22:37.440 will be completely anti that. We'll say, you know what? You just let your child dictate when they want

00:22:43.920 to sleep. Let them, you know, sleep with you for whatever. Okay. That's fine. That's what you want

00:22:50.040 to do. For us, it was six months ish, maybe a little less than that in the bassinet in our room.

00:22:58.220 For the first, it was six months. For the second, I think it was less than that. And then go in their

00:23:02.160 room, you know, and it's, it's a, it's a, it's a process of how many times they wake up. But I

00:23:08.260 will say for our oldest slept through the nights, 12 hours a night since six months old has not

00:23:14.300 changed. Second one, a little bit different, better at naps, a little bit touching go at night, but

00:23:21.000 sleeps through the night. Look, I know people who are completely anti-sleep training, whose four-year-olds

00:23:25.940 still wake up multiple times a night. For us, that was just like a no-go. Okay. That was just

00:23:31.840 not going to happen. Personally, I think it is better for your marriage. I think it's better for

00:23:36.940 your child. I think it's better for your sanity. I think it's better for you physically to get a

00:23:42.960 full night's sleep as soon as you can. For these first few months, that's not going to happen with

00:23:46.620 your baby. That's totally fine. It eventually can happen though. It can happen. It takes some

00:23:52.960 discipline. It takes some effort. It takes some learning your child and learning yourself and

00:23:57.940 learning how all of this goes. And again, we're not talking about abandoning your child to just like

00:24:02.880 let them cry it out. That's not what we're talking about. But I recommend some kind of logical,

00:24:10.000 compassionate sleep training regimen that will help your child while before their first year be

00:24:16.940 sleeping through the night, 12 hours a night. That would be like, that is a great gift to give

00:24:23.820 a new mom as well. I promise you that will make you a happier and healthier family. And you will be

00:24:32.520 ready sooner for your second child because it's really hard if your three-year-old still isn't

00:24:38.100 sleeping through the night to say that you want another child after that. That's my take.

00:24:43.180 I'm just going to stir up some controversy and leave it there.

00:24:58.960 If I had to vote for one as president, which one? AOC, Hillary, or Bernie?

00:25:05.060 Honestly, probably Bernie Sanders. Probably Bernie Sanders. Hillary, no. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

00:25:17.100 no. Just too corrupt and too just scary. Too scary. AOC, like we gotta have, I have like a certain 0.92

00:25:28.060 threshold for IQ that I would hold the president to. I believe Bernie Sanders probably is

00:25:35.020 pretty smart. I think he's totally misguided. But if he actually went back to his roots on some

00:25:39.640 things like immigration, he was kind of an immigration hawk at one point. And I think

00:25:44.660 probably wouldn't get us involved in as many unnecessary foreign affairs as neocon Hillary

00:25:52.440 would. So yeah, I'm probably going to go with Bernie Sanders. Ooh, favorite Carly Jean outfit. Well,

00:25:58.540 I'm wearing one right now. It's all linen. So there's some, there's some cons to linen, obviously.

00:26:05.760 I mean, you can steam this stuff for like an hour and a half and you're like, oh, I got one wrinkle

00:26:11.420 out. But actually this isn't, this isn't really like that. It was really easy to steam this shirt.

00:26:17.040 And I love these pants. They're elastic pants, elastic waistband. And I always love that. Their stuff is

00:26:24.400 just so comfortable. I love all their pants. I love all their jeans. Also, when I'm not pregnant,

00:26:30.840 their tank tops, like I forget the names of them, but like the square cut tank tops are just like

00:26:35.980 really cute and really flattering. It's hard to pick. It's hard to pick. I love their dresses too.

00:26:41.480 I just love Carly Jean Los Angeles. Let's see.

00:26:46.920 Uh, how to help non-believing friends see that their approach to dating is harmful 0.99

00:26:53.660 to them. Uh, I think probably the best way to do that because you're not starting from the same

00:26:59.660 premise. Like you don't, you don't subscribe to the same morality that we find from, uh,

00:27:07.460 from the Bible. I think asking questions is probably the best way to start that conversation.

00:27:14.000 I think you can eventually be more explicit if you want to. Well, you know what? Like God's way

00:27:18.880 is better. Here's what I mean by that. Or you can get them to read a book with you. If there's like a

00:27:22.960 great book that you found on dating relationships, or maybe it's just a Christian book about Christianity

00:27:27.680 in general to just kind of plant the seeds. Um, I would, I would just ask them questions about like

00:27:34.060 how it makes them feel. And it's, it's going to be difficult for them not to be defensive and that's

00:27:40.140 okay. But if they keep on ending up with the same toxic guys that are breaking their heart or they

00:27:45.180 keep doing one night stands and the next day they just feel so guilty and empty or whatever it is,

00:27:51.340 I would ask them questions about that. Like what is leading them to pick those kinds of guys? What

00:27:55.960 is leading them to make those choices? And just kind of showing them you don't feel good after this.

00:28:00.800 And you know, there's a better way. They might not know. They might not realize there's a better

00:28:04.540 way. Maybe they need you to show them that. Um, what is your ratio between related bros and related

00:28:12.940 girls? Oh, the ratio is very in favor and related girls. I don't think I've ever said that. I think I've

00:28:18.960 said like related, related gals. Someone suggested related bells. I've never really found one for the

00:28:25.860 gals that I really love. Related bros just flows really well. Um, it is heavily women, but there, I mean, 0.97

00:28:32.900 there's a significant portion of guys, but I would say it's probably, it's probably 80, 20 or 85, 15,

00:28:40.400 which I have striven for that. Striven? Is that how you say the past tense of strive? I don't know.

00:28:49.540 I don't know. Um, but anyway, that is what I've worked towards. That's the effort that I've put in.

00:28:54.300 And our audience is very, very unique among, if you consider this like conservative political

00:29:00.920 podcast, which I'm not even sure I would, it's probably the podcast that most weds theology and

00:29:08.420 politics and culture, just like most explicitly, like on the conservative political side. And this

00:29:14.180 is not a criticism of anyone. This is just how it is on the conservative political side. You have

00:29:18.280 like political podcasts that will bring in God and they do it in a sincere way. They talk about the

00:29:23.220 importance of faith and things like that, but it's not theology heavy. They don't necessarily talk

00:29:28.560 about that on every show where it's not one of the primary things that they talk about.

00:29:33.040 And then you've got Christian podcasts that will sometimes weave in some cultural issues,

00:29:37.360 but won't necessarily talk explicitly about politics. That's totally fine too. Um, this is

00:29:43.760 probably one of the, I won't say the only, one of the only shows that talks about these things in the

00:29:49.840 exact way that we do. And that is very intentional. And I also have very intentionally tried to create

00:29:58.080 this show in a way that targets and is comfortable for and attractive to my, the, the audience that

00:30:05.720 I'm looking for, the audience that I really represent. That's why it's called relatable because this is

00:30:09.660 just me being sincere, trying to navigate through the craziness and the chaos of this world as a 31 year

00:30:16.400 old Christian woman. So that's most of who listens to this podcast, mostly ages 25 to 45 women. Um, there's

00:30:24.260 plenty of people that fall outside of that. There's older relatable listeners who I really appreciate.

00:30:28.740 There's college age, there's high schoolers and middle schoolers even that listened to this with

00:30:33.380 their parents. There's guys out there who listened to this. And so, yeah, there's, there, there is a

00:30:38.040 wide range, but I have very intentionally tried to carve out this part of the market, if you will.

00:30:45.420 And there are very, very few political, any kind of newsy, I wouldn't consider us newsy,

00:30:51.780 but newsy podcasts that have a majority female audience. Most people that pay attention to 1.00

00:30:56.640 politics on YouTube and follow any kind of political podcasts are male. They are very male

00:31:03.560 dominated audiences. Not at relatable. Here we are. This is the home, the home for Christian women, 0.89

00:31:10.260 Christian conservative women, mostly trying to navigate the craziness of this world, hopefully 1.00

00:31:15.500 from a biblical perspective. Um, all right. I think that's where we will end for today. Thanks so

00:31:23.180 much for listening. Hey, related bells and related bros. If you could please leave us a five-star review

00:31:33.100 wherever you listen to relatable, that would mean so much to us. And it really does help the show.

00:31:38.800 Also, if you haven't subscribed to our YouTube channel, please do. Thanks.

00:31:45.500 Bye.

00:31:52.580 Bye.

00:31:53.100 Bye.

00:31:54.300 Bye.

00:31:54.540 Bye.

00:31:54.840 Bye.

00:31:55.800 Bye.

00:31:55.920 Bye.

00:31:56.720 Bye.

00:32:00.840 Bye.

00:32:04.700 Bye.

00:32:04.760 Bye.

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00:32:06.880 Bye.

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00:32:10.340 Bye.

00:32:11.920 Bye.

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00:32:14.220 Bye.

00:32:14.380 Bye.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - September 12, 2023

Ep 871 ｜ My Advice to New Moms ｜ Q&A

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