Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - October 05, 2023


Ep 885 ｜ What if I'm Burned Out by Church？ ｜ Q&A


Episode Stats

Length

33 minutes

Words per Minute

176.54674

Word Count

6,001

Sentence Count

475

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

13


Summary

How do you talk to your kids about divorce? How do you explain divorce in a biblical way to them? How can we explain divorce to them in a way that makes sense to them about what a Christian marriage is supposed to look like? What are the biblical grounds for divorce and how should we talk to our kids about it?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 How do you stay encouraged to go to church if you feel totally burned out by it?
00:00:05.640 How do you talk to your kids about the divorce of their grandparents?
00:00:11.280 Where are all the good men and are dinosaurs just dragons?
00:00:15.280 We are answering all these questions and many more today on this episode of Relatable,
00:00:19.660 which is brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers.
00:00:21.860 Go to GoodRanchers.com.
00:00:23.320 Use code Allie at checkout.
00:00:24.520 That's GoodRanchers.com, code Allie.
00:00:30.000 All right.
00:00:37.700 Hope everyone's having a wonderful day and a wonderful week.
00:00:40.220 I'm going to answer some questions that you guys sent in.
00:00:42.560 As always, very interesting and insightful and diverse questions.
00:00:47.380 First question is, how do I talk to my kids about grandparents being divorced in a Christian way?
00:00:53.740 So I think we can start with our own understanding as Christians of what the Bible actually says about divorce.
00:00:59.720 There are biblical grounds for divorce, of course, like abuse and like infidelity.
00:01:06.440 However, we also know that infidelity doesn't mean that you have to get a divorce.
00:01:13.880 There are many couples who have sought reconciliation.
00:01:17.580 Their relationship has been redeemed.
00:01:19.380 But there are biblical grounds for divorce.
00:01:21.320 However, Jesus makes very clear in Matthew 19, 4 through 5.
00:01:25.300 He makes a lot clear in that segment.
00:01:27.140 But one thing that he makes clear in responding to a question about divorce is that divorce was not supposed to be part of the plan.
00:01:35.380 That was not part of God's good picture for marriage.
00:01:39.120 And what God has brought together, one male and one female in marriage, let no man tear apart.
00:01:46.240 Marriage is supposed to be for life.
00:01:49.140 Again, there may be reasons why separation needs to happen.
00:01:54.740 Very, very limited reasons, though.
00:01:57.460 Today, we slap any kind of justification on divorce, even just personal happiness, despite the not just like the moral and the biblical issues with divorce, but also the trauma that it causes our children.
00:02:11.600 So it's a very selfish world that we live in.
00:02:13.720 There are some reasons, but there are exceptions.
00:02:15.360 So we understand as Christians, though, that marriage is sacred.
00:02:18.900 Marriage, according to Ephesians 5, is a representation of Christ and the church.
00:02:24.000 Christ, the head of the church, is the husband, is the head of the wife.
00:02:27.960 The wife is, therefore, to submit to her husband.
00:02:30.380 The husband is to love the wife.
00:02:32.180 What a huge calling, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.
00:02:36.820 So a very high calling that Christian husbands and wives are called to.
00:02:41.820 And marriage is a representation of that eternal wedding, that eternal marriage between Christ and his bride, the church.
00:02:48.920 The Bible starts with the marriage between Adam and Eve and ends with the marriage between Christ and the church.
00:02:55.040 Wow.
00:02:55.360 It's a really, really big deal.
00:02:57.260 A much bigger deal than even those who profess to be Christians say that it is often.
00:03:02.120 And so I think we have to understand first, or we have to start with our understanding of what the Bible actually says about marriage, why it's so important.
00:03:11.740 I don't know why your parents or your husband's parents are divorced, so I don't know the reasons for that.
00:03:17.840 But I think as long as we have that foundation of what a marriage is, why it's so important, we can start from there and start building out an answer that we can explain in a simple but biblical way to our children.
00:03:32.120 Now, my answer to this will also depend on what age your children are.
00:03:38.060 Like, are they aware that their grandparents are separated?
00:03:41.000 Do they know what a divorce is?
00:03:42.980 It really depends on their age, their stage, their maturity level.
00:03:46.440 And I'm speaking as someone, this is just my own personal opinion.
00:03:48.880 I'm not speaking as an expert in talking to your children in this way.
00:03:52.920 My children are very young, so I'm just imagining how I would approach this situation and how I think, you know, just biblically in general, we should think through something.
00:04:02.040 Like this, so you can take or leave my stance on this.
00:04:06.220 I would, if my children were very young and it came to a point where I needed to explain this to them, it was becoming obvious or it was just coming to a point to where, okay, they can understand the truth about what marriage is, at least on a basic level.
00:04:21.800 And they need to understand that this relationship between this man and this woman is not the ideal.
00:04:28.840 It is not what God calls us to.
00:04:30.360 It is not what marriage is supposed to be.
00:04:33.060 And so I would probably not, I don't even know if I would use the word divorce, just again, depending on their age, but that they are separated.
00:04:40.280 That they were married at one point, they are no longer married anymore.
00:04:43.960 You're probably going to get, again, depending on the age, a why.
00:04:48.000 And so you can kind of come up with your own simple but truthful explanation for why that is.
00:04:53.500 But what you really need to drive home and reiterate is that marriage is meant to be for life.
00:04:58.440 That God set it up for his glory and our good.
00:05:02.180 And they don't have to also understand everything that you're saying.
00:05:05.900 You also don't have to have all of the answers for all the questions that they have.
00:05:10.660 If they ask a question that you don't know the answer to, I think a really great thing that we as parents can do is say, that's a really good question.
00:05:18.420 I love that you're thinking through that.
00:05:20.400 Let me think about it.
00:05:21.380 Or let me talk to daddy.
00:05:22.640 Or like, let me pray about that.
00:05:25.100 Let me read the Bible.
00:05:26.200 I think that is showing an example of humility for your kids.
00:05:31.880 And it also makes them feel good that they were curious in a way that you found interesting.
00:05:36.740 Or that they came up with a thought-provoking question.
00:05:39.460 Or maybe that they even stumped you.
00:05:40.900 They'll probably like that a little bit.
00:05:42.780 But I think approaching all kinds of questions and difficult topics that kids have is okay.
00:05:46.920 As long as you are truthful to keep true to your word.
00:05:51.340 And to really go seek wisdom in the word of God and through prayer and through godly counsel.
00:05:57.000 And then go back to them promptly.
00:05:58.540 Don't wait weeks and weeks.
00:05:59.600 Go back to them promptly before they even bring it up again.
00:06:02.300 And say, you know, you asked a really good question this morning.
00:06:05.080 You asked a really good question yesterday.
00:06:07.220 And here's what I think about it.
00:06:09.360 You know what?
00:06:09.700 Let's pray together about this.
00:06:11.180 Or let me read you a passage that I read.
00:06:13.460 Again, they don't have to understand everything.
00:06:15.960 But their little minds, I mean, they're absorbing so much.
00:06:19.380 What they will remember is the value that you have placed on marriage.
00:06:24.620 And that you go to the word of God for your wisdom and for your answers.
00:06:29.060 And also, I mean, the biggest thing that all of us can do that we all do imperfectly as moms and dads is model what it means to love each other.
00:06:37.060 Model what it means to be married.
00:06:39.840 And to have respectful disagreement.
00:06:43.220 And to respect and to love one another.
00:06:45.580 And to show kids that you love one another.
00:06:48.940 That you're committed to one another.
00:06:50.400 That doesn't mean perfection.
00:06:51.620 That doesn't mean that you never argue.
00:06:54.140 But, gosh, we can all do better at that.
00:06:56.240 And making sure that we are modeling love and unity and commitment and stability for our kids.
00:07:01.940 So they can just naturally kind of deduce, oh, I see that what they have is better.
00:07:07.420 That's what I want.
00:07:08.740 Rather than instability that is always, always, always caused by divorce.
00:07:27.020 Next question.
00:07:28.700 Favorite family activity.
00:07:30.720 The favorite one that we probably do is just go on a walk.
00:07:33.500 Go on a walk.
00:07:34.900 Chill.
00:07:35.260 Go to the park.
00:07:35.940 Um, we like to eat.
00:07:38.220 If we can, like, walk to a restaurant and walking distance, then that's something fun that we do.
00:07:44.200 Um, sometimes the zoo, we're homebodies, though.
00:07:47.160 So we really have to be, like, pushed and prodded out the door.
00:07:51.900 Sometimes it's by our own initiative.
00:07:54.420 Often it's by friends saying, like, will you come do this?
00:07:57.900 And we're like, oh, my gosh, I didn't even consider the possibility that I would be leaving the house before Sunday morning.
00:08:03.680 And then I'm like, oh, I forget that, you know, people do these things.
00:08:07.240 So we are very much homebodies.
00:08:09.160 So we do like to do things with friends and, like, just kind of go to houses and eat dinner and things like that.
00:08:15.360 But, um, our natural propensity is to, like, just chill together.
00:08:20.480 The weeks are crazy.
00:08:21.720 And so when we get the opportunity to just chill together, that's what we like to do.
00:08:25.940 Um, my oldest and I like to do puzzles together.
00:08:28.980 I don't really like puzzles.
00:08:30.180 She likes puzzles.
00:08:30.960 She's incredible at puzzles.
00:08:32.980 And so I want to encourage her in that.
00:08:35.320 So that's a fun thing that we do, uh, that we do together.
00:08:37.980 Um, other question, where are you seeing God's hand in your life?
00:08:42.980 That's a really good question.
00:08:44.660 Again, some of these questions, I'm like, I feel like I answered this on another episode and I can't remember.
00:08:50.540 But I guess, I mean, it's evergreen and it could change depending on what day I'm recording the episode.
00:08:56.220 So I don't know if there's necessarily a specific answer to this.
00:09:01.880 Because I always see God's hand orchestrating both the big and the small things in my life.
00:09:08.420 And I always have.
00:09:09.740 And that doesn't mean that I over-spiritualize everything.
00:09:12.140 I'm not like, oh my gosh, I was supposed to stop at that red light because of such and such.
00:09:16.140 I mean, maybe.
00:09:17.160 But that's not really how I'm thinking.
00:09:19.920 But I can clearly see how God is going before me, giving me the words to speak, giving me patience and peace when I need it.
00:09:28.680 Not, I don't manifest those things perfectly.
00:09:30.940 But I can see.
00:09:32.860 And in a big way, throughout my career, looking back, I can see how every different stage or every different opportunity was prepared for before it happened without me even knowing.
00:09:48.120 So the first time I was on TV or the first time I gave a speech in front of thousands of people or the first time that I had this interview, whatever it was,
00:09:57.700 all these things that I thought, I'm not prepared for this, I'm so nervous for this, the congressional testimony that I gave, I can't do this.
00:10:04.920 I look back and I'm like, oh, well, this thing prepared me for that.
00:10:09.700 And that thing prepared me for this.
00:10:11.960 And so that's just one way that I can look back and map out kind of how God was preparing me for something that I didn't even foresee.
00:10:21.420 And I think that's true of all of us in big and small ways and personal, private ways, and also in public ways,
00:10:28.220 whether it's motherhood or friendships or ministry opportunities, anything that you're nervous about, any new thing,
00:10:36.420 chances are you have been being prepared for that thing by God without even realizing it,
00:10:44.020 that he has actually been equipping you, either just through your own prayer and through the study of his word
00:10:49.380 or through other smaller opportunities that he's given you that you didn't even see as preparation and equipment
00:10:54.780 until you got to where he wanted you.
00:10:57.460 And you look back and you say, wow, I'm a lot more equipped for this than I thought, thanks to the grace of God.
00:11:04.380 So that's just, that's just one example.
00:11:07.660 Let's see, how do I stay encouraged to go to church when I am just so burned out by it?
00:11:13.840 I understand this as someone who has gone to church my whole life and who went to a Christian school.
00:11:21.340 I guess there were some months in college, probably where I didn't attend church regularly.
00:11:26.180 That's definitely true.
00:11:27.800 At least like short stretches of time, probably because I felt burned out, probably because I was tired,
00:11:32.740 probably because I was doing things that I shouldn't have been doing, wasting time doing unproductive things.
00:11:38.300 But I think a lot of people go through this stage.
00:11:41.420 A lot of people go through this, especially if you were raised in the church.
00:11:47.200 And it can even be tempting to think that you don't need church because you've heard it all before.
00:11:52.280 Or like there's just nothing new or like you do want to spend your Sundays different ways.
00:11:56.840 And so just know that I think that it's common to think that way.
00:12:02.720 But going to church is not primarily about our feelings.
00:12:06.800 It's not primarily about whether we are energetic or tired, whether we're enthusiastic or lackadaisical or it's not a matter of any of those things.
00:12:19.160 It's not even a matter in us is always of how we're being served or how we're being made to feel.
00:12:25.000 It's a matter of obedience that we see modeled to us in the early church,
00:12:30.240 that we are to be committed to the local church and our congregations and the service and ministry opportunities that we are given.
00:12:36.800 And we are to serve members of the church.
00:12:39.300 I think in evangelical worlds, we think of the church primarily as training missionaries to go out and be evangelists,
00:12:49.360 or primarily a tool to reach out to seekers.
00:12:53.380 That's not the primary role of the church.
00:12:55.580 That can be a role of the church, but the church is to be a reflection of Christ in the church.
00:13:03.800 The church is to be the bride of Christ.
00:13:06.040 The church is to glorify God.
00:13:08.340 The church is to preach the gospel.
00:13:10.040 It's to be a beacon of love and charity and all truth and camaraderie with each other that shines like a light in a dark world.
00:13:20.220 And yes, there are outreach ministries and opportunities and ways to help the lost and to reach those people.
00:13:26.960 But the church is for God.
00:13:29.560 And the church is about the church.
00:13:31.480 The church is about elevating Christ.
00:13:36.680 And that is naturally going to be an evangelistic tool.
00:13:40.740 And so I don't know if you need kind of like a refresh on what the church is for.
00:13:47.180 I don't know if you need a new church.
00:13:49.280 I would not recommend switching churches if your church is solid and biblical,
00:13:54.280 because that could just be Satan just tempting you with apathy,
00:13:58.180 which is a whole part of the spiritual war here,
00:14:00.480 that we are just being distracted into apathy to no end.
00:14:04.860 And Satan doesn't even have to bring us into like this stage of serious rebellion or sin or depravity or drug addiction or anything.
00:14:11.940 He can just distract us into apathy endlessly and therefore prevent us, if we're unbelievers, from becoming believers,
00:14:20.400 if we're believers, from glorifying God with obedience.
00:14:23.900 And so that is also part of the play here.
00:14:25.520 But maybe you do need to switch churches if the church is not preaching the gospel,
00:14:30.860 if they're not preaching expository preaching.
00:14:32.800 I personally never get tired of expository exegetical preaching, verse-by-verse preaching.
00:14:39.520 Very, very hard to find.
00:14:41.160 Very, like very hard to find a verse-by-verse expository preacher.
00:14:46.440 But I never get tired of that.
00:14:48.100 I find scripture fascinating.
00:14:49.880 And so maybe it's also just asking God to renew your love for scripture,
00:14:54.760 ensuring, again, that you're going to an expository church,
00:14:58.120 making sure that you are using every opportunity that's at your disposal
00:15:03.160 to use your strengths for the edification of the church, for the body of Christ.
00:15:10.940 And so maybe ask the Lord for those new opportunities,
00:15:14.720 or to change your heart, or to change your mind, or to show you what's true.
00:15:19.880 I understand being burned out by all of this.
00:15:22.660 I really, really do.
00:15:24.120 But that's not an excuse not to go to church.
00:15:28.060 Obey through the slump.
00:15:30.660 I think that's true for all of us in many different situations.
00:15:34.260 Whether you're in a slump in your marriage, you're in a slump in parenthood,
00:15:36.900 you're in a slump in your job, you're just in a slump in your life in general.
00:15:40.060 Like you don't know which direction you're going, and you feel lost and listless.
00:15:44.800 Obey through the slump.
00:15:47.160 Obey even when it's hard.
00:15:48.500 Obey even when you don't feel like it.
00:15:50.820 Open the word of God even when you're tired.
00:15:52.620 Go to church even when you don't, even when you're burned out by it.
00:15:57.340 And I'm preaching to the choir.
00:15:59.060 Like we're all feelings based.
00:16:00.980 We all dictate things by our emotions.
00:16:04.240 We all go the way that we want to go and put our desires first above obedience to God.
00:16:09.500 So I'm preaching to myself just as much.
00:16:11.220 But let's ask the Holy Spirit to sanctify us out of that selflessness and see what is the purpose of life?
00:16:16.680 What is the purpose of church?
00:16:18.100 What is the purpose of our every day?
00:16:20.060 And live accordingly.
00:16:20.800 All right.
00:16:34.840 Next question that I have is homeschool or private school?
00:16:39.540 So I've talked about this a lot.
00:16:41.740 It just depends.
00:16:42.840 It really depends on your area.
00:16:44.460 Now, I went to a Christian school, kindergarten through 12th grade.
00:16:47.540 I'm very thankful for that.
00:16:49.560 There were years when we considered homeschooling because even at my private Christian school,
00:16:55.920 there were just things that I wasn't well adapted to.
00:16:59.800 Like I don't know if I really benefited or thrived in classroom learning.
00:17:06.640 I don't know.
00:17:07.440 Kindergarten through eighth grade.
00:17:10.800 Like it got better in high school.
00:17:12.600 I guess I got used to it.
00:17:13.940 But, you know, I every teacher told me or told my parents probably through middle school that I had ADD and tried to convince my parents to put me on medication.
00:17:24.760 I'm very thankful that they didn't because I was always talking in class and I didn't.
00:17:31.080 I don't think that I have ADD.
00:17:32.540 I don't know.
00:17:32.880 Sometimes I joke that I do.
00:17:34.660 But it's extremely well managed without any medication.
00:17:40.080 But I do think sometimes classroom learning is not conducive to good learning and to thriving for every kind of student.
00:17:49.940 So I do think sometimes homeschool is better for certain kinds of students.
00:17:55.380 I also think that there is benefit from classroom learning.
00:17:58.120 Now, homeschoolers will also tell you there are co-ops.
00:18:00.520 Like there are opportunities also for group learning and things like that.
00:18:03.820 You're not only at home by yourself.
00:18:05.820 Like there are a lot of community opportunities within homeschool nowadays.
00:18:08.860 But I do think I benefited from the routine, the regimen of classroom learning, of going from class to class, of having the assignments that I did, having the long-term projects that I did, sitting around my classmates, the friendships that I gained from going to the same school from kindergarten through 12th grade.
00:18:29.560 And yes, in some ways, in some ways, the socialization that I got from classroom learning, being around some different kinds of people, not that different.
00:18:39.300 I mean, I did go to a private Christian school and just experiences that I had that came with going to school.
00:18:48.140 I liked my Christian school experience.
00:18:50.460 I don't necessarily look back and wish that I had been homeschooled, even though, again, I think I could have benefited from some aspects of homeschool, especially when I was little, for sure.
00:19:00.420 But then, I mean, obviously, there are parts of homeschool that you just are not going to get in a private school.
00:19:06.720 You're going to have complete autonomy and control over the curriculum in a homeschool environment.
00:19:12.340 You know your child best.
00:19:14.080 You care about your child and their education, their well-being, their emotional, mental, spiritual health more than any teacher ever could, even if that teacher is amazing and so compassionate and so talented.
00:19:28.540 She understands.
00:19:29.560 Like, she's never going to be able to love your child and understand your child as much as you do.
00:19:33.940 And so in a homeschool situation, you are able to have utmost authority and input and interaction with your child.
00:19:42.620 And so that is a huge benefit to it.
00:19:46.460 That doesn't mean that you have to teach every subject, by the way.
00:19:49.500 Oh, my gosh.
00:19:50.100 If I were homeschooling math, I think we'd only get to third grade, and then we'd be done.
00:19:53.960 By the time we got to decimals, I'd be like, I'm out.
00:19:56.520 You're never going to know what this is.
00:19:57.900 I'm sorry.
00:19:58.420 But you have other people in your community, in your homeschool community that you'll get to know that teach the different subjects.
00:20:06.060 I got English covered.
00:20:07.380 That's about it, y'all.
00:20:08.680 Got English and podcasting covered.
00:20:11.020 Everything else needs to be taught by someone else.
00:20:13.240 But nowadays, like, there are so many resources and so many communities that you don't even have to worry about that.
00:20:19.040 Even moms who are like, I'm totally unequipped.
00:20:20.920 I have no idea how I'm going to do this.
00:20:22.680 They just find so much support, both in the curriculum that's available, but also in other people who are sharing the curriculum.
00:20:29.640 I've had a conversation on this podcast with Lee Bortons, who is the head of Classical Conversations.
00:20:35.860 We're not to the point of that kind of schooling yet, and so I haven't used it, but I've heard that it's good by a lot of people.
00:20:43.580 Charlotte Mason is another one that I've heard about.
00:20:45.880 Just be careful if you pick a Christian curriculum that it's truly Christian.
00:20:49.300 It's truly Christian, like believes in fathers and the Holy Spirit, and is preaching the gospel and good theology.
00:20:58.220 Just make sure that you're involved in all of that.
00:21:01.400 But, I mean, you guys know that I think that both of these options, you have to be really involved.
00:21:07.160 You are the primary faith trainer of your child.
00:21:09.500 You are their primary discipler.
00:21:12.100 In a private Christian school, there's still going to be the potential of woke stuff.
00:21:16.640 There is.
00:21:17.780 There's going to be the potential of your kid being introduced to things that you don't agree with.
00:21:21.500 That's not always bad, but just understand that.
00:21:24.080 And so you're going to have to be really involved.
00:21:25.920 Gone are the days when you can just drop your child off at Christian school or Sunday school or wherever
00:21:30.260 and assume that they are going to be taught things that align with the things that you believe in.
00:21:35.980 We have to be so vigilant in discipling our children and laying a good theological foundation.
00:21:42.140 I love, for example, the Truth and Grace Catechism by Tom Askell.
00:21:46.660 He has a few books, the Truth and Grace books.
00:21:49.100 And I really like them just for laying a very simple foundation through a biblical catechism for your kids.
00:21:56.360 That's just one example.
00:21:58.540 Making sure you know the Bible yourself and that you're explaining biblical concepts to your kids.
00:22:03.700 But you know that I think both of these options are better than public school in most cases.
00:22:08.900 There are exceptions to that.
00:22:11.420 But Deuteronomy 6 lays out for us like what biblical education really looks like.
00:22:17.040 You can't separate discipleship from education.
00:22:19.920 You can't say, well, my kids are going to go to school just to learn reading, writing, and math.
00:22:23.920 Um, and then I'll teach them morality.
00:22:28.680 No, that's not going to work.
00:22:29.800 I mean, they're at school for 40 hours a week.
00:22:31.780 They're at school for many, many hours.
00:22:33.880 Kindergarten through 12th grade.
00:22:35.340 Parent, you just can't compete.
00:22:37.700 You can't compete.
00:22:38.900 You don't get as many hours with them.
00:22:40.960 And their minds are malleable.
00:22:42.780 I'm not saying that everyone who goes to public school ends up being a derelict,
00:22:46.400 a derelict and a heathen.
00:22:47.620 And everyone who goes to Christian school or homeschool ends up being amazing.
00:22:50.500 I'm not saying that.
00:22:51.400 I'm saying our responsibility is discipleship.
00:22:54.480 Education is discipleship.
00:22:57.000 And if our job as parents is to steward the hearts and the minds of our kids,
00:23:01.460 to bring them closer to Christ, to show them constantly the beauty of Christ,
00:23:07.320 the goodness of Christ, the truth of Christ,
00:23:09.980 to instill in them everything that is good and right and true.
00:23:12.980 If that is our job, we will not hand them over to a secular entity
00:23:17.380 that cannot, by law, show them these things.
00:23:21.500 At best, you're getting a non-biblical education from public school at worst.
00:23:26.200 And very likely, you're getting an anti-biblical education,
00:23:29.580 which you could argue that those two, you know, those two things collapse,
00:23:33.600 those two categories collapse,
00:23:34.800 but an explicitly anti-biblical education at public school.
00:23:39.760 Your kid could still turn out amazing.
00:23:41.680 I'm not saying that they definitely won't.
00:23:44.780 I'm just saying it's our responsibility to steward our child's heart and mind well.
00:23:49.220 And ensuring they get a Christian education is really like,
00:23:52.100 I mean, it's the least we can do as parents.
00:23:55.040 Not every single person can do that.
00:23:57.160 I understand that.
00:23:58.280 You don't have to message me and tell me your specific situation.
00:24:01.620 You can if you want to.
00:24:02.600 You don't have to, though.
00:24:03.440 I understand.
00:24:04.220 There are some exceptions.
00:24:06.100 But a lot of the people I know who make exceptions for it don't really,
00:24:10.620 they don't have those extenuating circumstances that other people have.
00:24:13.880 They just don't feel like sending their kids to,
00:24:16.960 giving their kids a Christian education despite being Christians themselves.
00:24:20.220 They just don't feel like it.
00:24:21.400 They just don't feel like pain.
00:24:23.240 I think that's true of a lot of Christians who just think my kids will turn out fine.
00:24:28.280 They might turn out fine.
00:24:29.820 But I can tell you, as someone who has asked,
00:24:32.060 I know, I say this all the time.
00:24:35.900 I say this all the time.
00:24:37.300 But as someone who has asked,
00:24:40.400 like, how did you start doing what you do?
00:24:43.320 Or how do you, when you're doing these podcasts,
00:24:46.340 you remember scripture passages?
00:24:48.820 It seems like you just kind of pull them out of thin air.
00:24:52.100 How do you remember those things?
00:24:53.280 How do you research?
00:24:54.560 Well, first of all, well, with the research,
00:24:56.420 I do have help with the research.
00:24:57.820 But not too long ago, I did not have any help with that.
00:25:00.300 And with the books, how do you, how do you do the things that you do?
00:25:04.120 How do you approach these subjects?
00:25:05.360 How do you think about these things?
00:25:07.040 Look, obviously, I attribute it all to the grace of God.
00:25:10.220 But I would be lying if I said that my Christian education didn't have a huge part in it.
00:25:18.780 Like, the way that I learned to write,
00:25:21.640 the way that I learned to reason,
00:25:23.560 the way that I learned to research,
00:25:25.500 the way that I learned the Bible in every single subject from kindergarten through 12th grade,
00:25:30.480 that was it.
00:25:31.500 That's what did it.
00:25:32.560 Why do I, I mean, there's so much scripture that I don't know.
00:25:35.340 It's not even funny.
00:25:36.100 But why do I know so much scripture?
00:25:38.480 Why does it come to mind easily?
00:25:40.220 It's not anything that I can pat myself on the back for.
00:25:42.580 It's because every single day of my life from kindergarten through 12th grade,
00:25:48.040 this is what characterized my education.
00:25:50.240 It wasn't a perfect education.
00:25:51.640 I didn't have perfect teachers.
00:25:52.820 I certainly didn't have a perfect experience.
00:25:55.440 But what's better?
00:25:57.160 Giving your kids thousands of hours with a Christian education where they're learning the Bible,
00:26:01.180 giving your kids thousands of hours in a non-Christian education where they're not
00:26:04.300 learning the Bible.
00:26:04.920 Who do you think is going to know more about scripture by the time they're 18?
00:26:08.520 It's not really that tough of a question.
00:26:12.580 Let's see, maybe one or two more.
00:26:26.600 Okay, this is similar.
00:26:27.560 So I just do want to answer this because it's a good question.
00:26:29.980 Public school teacher here, stay or flee?
00:26:32.160 Now, if you're a Christian public school teacher, it again depends on your situation
00:26:36.400 and your family situation, what's needed.
00:26:38.800 But I am so appreciative of Christian public school teachers.
00:26:43.260 No, you can't by law preach the gospel at the front of your class or teach an explicitly
00:26:47.220 Christian curriculum.
00:26:48.020 But you can be the only source of light and truth that some of these kids will ever see.
00:26:53.200 The only source of love that some of these kids have.
00:26:55.920 The only bulwark in some of these schools against the insanity of, for example, gender
00:27:00.080 ideology.
00:27:00.720 And so I would love for Christian teachers to stay and be lights in the darkness.
00:27:06.120 But again, it largely depends on your circumstance, your school, what you're able to do and say.
00:27:13.320 Do you love Bluey or do you love Bluey?
00:27:15.420 We've never watched Bluey in our family.
00:27:17.860 I know.
00:27:18.900 Crazy.
00:27:21.500 Let's see.
00:27:23.220 Are dinosaurs really just dragons?
00:27:25.060 Excellent question.
00:27:26.580 I don't know.
00:27:27.760 I don't know.
00:27:28.600 Well, as I'm recording this, I have not yet had my interview with Ken Ham.
00:27:32.520 And I don't know if you guys have heard this by the time that you're hearing or I don't
00:27:36.380 know if you guys will have heard that interview by the time that you're listening to this.
00:27:40.040 So I'm sure he will answer the questions for me.
00:27:42.020 If you don't know, I'm skeptical of dinosaurs.
00:27:44.700 I'm not skeptical that there were these like large creatures that existed.
00:27:49.520 But if you look at these like these skeleton pictures that look like they would be dinosaurs,
00:27:56.140 it's like, oh, that's a hippo.
00:27:57.620 Oh, that's an owl.
00:27:58.680 I just want to know.
00:27:59.820 How do they really know what these dinosaurs look like?
00:28:01.740 How do they know what they sound like?
00:28:03.480 How do they know what their skin looks like?
00:28:05.720 Someone had the audacity to tell me that they've recovered voice boxes.
00:28:10.460 Yeah, right.
00:28:11.140 They have not recovered the voice box of a pterodactyl.
00:28:14.540 They're lying to you.
00:28:15.940 They're lying to you.
00:28:17.520 Someone asked, what are my thoughts on The Chosen Show?
00:28:19.900 You should go back and listen to my interview that I did with Dallas Jenkins.
00:28:24.080 I think it was a really interesting interview that a lot of people liked.
00:28:30.300 Okay, we'll end on this one.
00:28:31.740 Where are all the good men?
00:28:35.160 Man, I saw a meme.
00:28:36.800 You've probably seen it too.
00:28:38.020 That was like, do millennials who got married feel like they got the last chopper out of NAMM?
00:28:42.860 And I'm like, yeah, I kind of do.
00:28:44.820 Like, I met my husband before that really the dawn, not the dawn of dating apps because I think Tinder was around, but the popularization of them.
00:28:54.280 And I have amazing single friends right now who would become, would be amazing wives and moms and who really think that just dating out there is bleak.
00:29:07.760 That it's really tough to find a guy, especially like the older that you get.
00:29:12.840 It's tough to find a guy who is stable, who is mature, who is relatively close to where you are in Christ and is not looking to date like a 22-year-old.
00:29:27.380 That's tough.
00:29:28.600 And like, I think that dating apps make it so difficult too and a lot easier for people to ghost one another, to just be irresponsible, to be rude, because you never really had that in-person connection.
00:29:39.460 You never had to make the investment of mustering up the courage to ask someone out and then to face the potential of getting rejected.
00:29:48.000 There's no risk.
00:29:49.340 And because there's no risk, I think there's also just less reward too.
00:29:53.540 And so I don't say all that to discourage you, but just to relate to you, like, I don't completely understand because I have been married for eight years.
00:30:00.940 But I do think I understand and I do feel for you.
00:30:06.000 Here's what I always tell people, though, because I see this every year it happens.
00:30:09.940 Every year I see someone that's like, oh, I'm never going to get married or I'm never going to find someone.
00:30:14.960 I just don't know where to find someone.
00:30:16.460 And then it's like, boop, they found someone.
00:30:18.540 So here's what I say.
00:30:19.920 It only takes one.
00:30:21.180 It only takes one.
00:30:22.240 There doesn't have to be a million great guys out there.
00:30:24.440 There doesn't have to be a thousand guys that you would like that are compatible to you.
00:30:28.580 It only takes one.
00:30:31.380 And so a lot can happen in a year.
00:30:34.760 That's also another thing that I say.
00:30:36.860 A lot can happen in a year and it only takes one.
00:30:40.620 So I don't know where all the good men have gone.
00:30:45.380 I feel you, sister.
00:30:46.880 I think that, you know, as much as I can, I think that guys probably think the same thing in some ways.
00:30:53.200 Although guys, like, it's just different.
00:30:55.340 You've got a different dating pool because you can go a lot younger than you, whereas girls, like, really don't and can't for a lot of different reasons.
00:31:06.860 So I think it is tougher out there for girls.
00:31:09.480 So I can sympathize with that.
00:31:11.920 And I will just say that it is, I would read of Passion and Purity by Elizabeth Elliot.
00:31:20.420 And I would also say that the hard thing that most people, like, won't tell you is that it might not, it's not God's plan for everyone to get married.
00:31:29.400 It's not.
00:31:29.900 Even if we have a desire in our hearts, it doesn't mean that God's going to fulfill it.
00:31:34.620 I hear a lot of people say, but I've always wanted to become a mom.
00:31:37.580 That is so heartbreaking to want something like that and to not have it fulfilled.
00:31:42.340 There's also not the promise of that fulfillment in this.
00:31:45.660 And I mean, there's not a promise of the fulfillment of all our desires in this life.
00:31:49.500 That's what makes it this side of eternity and this side of heaven.
00:31:52.620 That doesn't mean that your life can't be full of joy.
00:31:54.800 Try not to think of marriage as, like, the time when your life will really start.
00:31:59.400 And right now is this, like, long waiting period.
00:32:02.380 You can glorify God fully now.
00:32:04.120 You can have joy fully now.
00:32:06.540 You can serve your community fully now.
00:32:08.700 Your life doesn't start when you meet the person that you're going to marry.
00:32:11.880 I think that we're raised in a lot of ways thinking that.
00:32:13.880 And we're not.
00:32:14.720 Or it's not.
00:32:15.600 It's not true.
00:32:16.660 Like, your life is right now.
00:32:18.660 And a day from now, in two years from now, you will be closer to death than you are right
00:32:24.080 in this very second.
00:32:25.460 Your life starts now.
00:32:28.340 And so do the things that you can do to honor God and fulfill all that he's called you to
00:32:33.400 do.
00:32:33.840 And if he wants you to be married, he picked that person out before he laid the foundations
00:32:37.820 of the world.
00:32:38.760 Okay?
00:32:39.080 He's got it.
00:32:39.920 And all you have to do is the next right thing in faith with excellence and for the glory
00:32:43.920 of God.
00:32:44.800 And some practical steps.
00:32:45.860 Like, putting yourself in situations where Christian guys are them.
00:32:49.540 I mean, that could just probably be helpful.
00:32:52.840 But God's got it.
00:32:53.860 He's got it.
00:32:54.280 He's sovereign over that.
00:32:55.640 All right.
00:32:57.200 We've got no more time.
00:32:59.080 So we will be back here soon.
00:33:00.320 Hey, Relatabels and Relatabros.
00:33:15.460 If you could please leave us a five-star review wherever you listen to Relatable, that would
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00:33:21.740 And it really does help the show.
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00:33:29.260 Thanks.
00:33:30.320 See you then.
00:33:32.080 Bye.
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