Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - October 31, 2023


Ep 899 ｜ Do the Dead Watch Over Us？ ｜ Q&A


Episode Stats


Length

37 minutes

Words per minute

171.34285

Word count

6,453

Sentence count

430

Harmful content

Misogyny

8

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Why do so many people say that their loved ones are watching them from heaven? Is that really true? What are my thoughts on postpartum depression? How do we reconcile relationships with people who have hurt us? Answering all of these questions and more on today s episode of Relatable.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Why do so many people say that their loved ones are watching down on them from heaven?
00:00:06.280 Is that really true?
00:00:07.620 What are my thoughts on postpartum depression?
00:00:10.840 What's my favorite podcast?
00:00:12.940 How do we reconcile relationships with people who have hurt us?
00:00:17.580 Answering all of these questions and more on today's episode of Relatable, which is
00:00:21.900 brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers.
00:00:23.640 Go to GoodRanchers.com.
00:00:25.100 Use code Allie at checkout. 1.00
00:00:26.120 That's GoodRanchers.com.
00:00:27.220 Code Allie. 1.00
00:00:30.000 Hey guys, welcome to Relatable.
00:00:40.840 Hope everyone is having a wonderful day and week so far.
00:00:44.500 Okay, we've got a Q&A episode today answering all of your fascinating questions.
00:00:49.180 The first question that I want to answer is, why do so many Christians say their loved ones 0.99
00:00:54.480 are watching them from heaven?
00:00:56.100 This is a very popular idea, not just within Christianity, but I would say kind of culture
00:01:03.600 at large, believing that after your loved ones die, that they're watching you, that they're
00:01:08.700 with you, that they're looking down on you.
00:01:11.100 And there's a sense of comfort that comes from that.
00:01:13.920 I mean, there have been many testimonies of people who say that after a loved one died,
00:01:18.820 that they have dreams about their loved ones speaking to them, that it almost feels like
00:01:23.780 some kind of visitation, or that your loved one who died maybe becomes your guardian angel.
00:01:31.000 They're watching out for you.
00:01:32.220 They're making sure that things work out in your life, or they're kind of like a spirit
00:01:36.460 or a force for good and betterment.
00:01:39.400 And while all of these things may feel comforting, there's not actually any biblical precedence for
00:01:46.960 them.
00:01:47.220 So I'll look at a few passages that some people use to try to say that the Bible does indicate
00:01:55.180 that dead people can see us from the afterlife, can see us from heaven, and therefore we can
00:02:03.240 say that they look down on us.
00:02:04.460 Or they might even use these passages for the justification of the Catholic belief that
00:02:10.020 saints who are in heaven, or even Mary who is in heaven, can deliver our prayers, can hear
00:02:17.900 our prayers and deliver them to God, which is not what Protestants believe because we don't 1.00
00:02:22.880 see any biblical support for that.
00:02:25.280 But sticking with this particular question, can our loved ones look down and see us if
00:02:34.360 they are in heaven?
00:02:35.740 Some use Hebrews 12, 1, therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses,
00:02:42.180 let us throw off the sin that entangles, run the race, marked out for us.
00:02:45.580 I'm paraphrasing that last part, but the important part, surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses.
00:02:52.800 And people use that verse to say, well, they're witnesses.
00:02:56.960 We are surrounded by them.
00:02:58.380 They are witnessing our life.
00:03:00.200 Or some people might use the parable in Luke 16, 28, the rich man in Lazarus looking from
00:03:09.800 Hades at the poor man who is being comforted in Abraham's bosom and is asking, please,
00:03:17.760 can you warn my brothers who are still on earth?
00:03:20.480 Can you testify to them about what I did not know so they don't end up where I am?
00:03:27.160 Or people might use Revelation 6, 10, where the martyrs call for God to avenge their deaths.
00:03:36.880 And so people use a variety of passages to try to say that people who are dead can see
00:03:43.060 us here on earth.
00:03:43.920 But none of these passages are actually speaking to that.
00:03:46.460 If you look at Hebrews 12, 1, therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of
00:03:51.560 witnesses, just like with all passages, we have to look at it in context.
00:03:55.540 So it's building off of Hebrews 11.
00:03:58.380 And Hebrews 11 is looking at the kind of heroes of the faith.
00:04:07.440 And so the witnesses that we are talking about in Hebrews 12, they are witnesses to the life
00:04:14.080 that is lived by faith.
00:04:15.780 They are witnesses to the reward of our faith.
00:04:18.420 They're not necessarily or they're not witnesses of our lives.
00:04:22.240 There's nothing in this passage that indicates that these people are looking down from heaven,
00:04:27.620 that they are answering our prayers or that their presence is with us in any way.
00:04:31.840 It's actually very clear that they are in heaven.
00:04:34.820 And so these are people who have witnessed what the power of the Holy Spirit can do in
00:04:41.120 a life that is surrendered to God.
00:04:43.200 And we look to their testimonies for encouragement, but they are not according to scripture with
00:04:51.420 us, hearing our prayers, etc.
00:04:53.860 And then if you look at this parable of the rich man in Lazarus, who is asking, hey, can
00:05:00.500 you please testify to my brother so they don't end up in this horrible place?
00:05:04.020 Again, we don't see any indication that he is hearing the prayers or seeing his brothers
00:05:13.140 on earth.
00:05:13.700 He just has knowledge of it.
00:05:16.100 And there's only so much that we can really draw from a parable.
00:05:20.660 And then you've got Revelation, the martyrs calling for God to avenge their deaths.
00:05:27.140 Again, there's no indication here that martyrs are actually the ones who are dead or seeing
00:05:31.680 anything that is going on.
00:05:33.260 And so we just don't see biblical support for that idea or the idea that people become
00:05:41.580 angels when they die.
00:05:43.040 I understand that there are things that we say to try to comfort ourselves in death or
00:05:48.640 try to comfort other people in death.
00:05:50.300 And I don't think right after death is the time to correct someone's theology in that
00:05:55.560 way.
00:05:55.760 I do think it's important to talk about in general.
00:05:58.360 I don't think we should just say, well, whatever makes someone feel good, because look, theology
00:06:02.000 has practical consequences.
00:06:03.380 And so it's important to correct our theology on this, although I do think that there is
00:06:08.260 a time and a place.
00:06:09.940 The reality is, and this is where the real comfort comes from, usually like false teachings,
00:06:14.900 teachings that are not supported by scripture.
00:06:16.880 They indicate our need for something that can really only be found in Christ, something that
00:06:22.900 can only be found in truth.
00:06:24.660 And so if what you are seeking, if what you are needing is comfort, is presence, is guidance,
00:06:31.700 and is protection.
00:06:32.880 And you like the idea of that coming from a higher, like ethereal being that can see more
00:06:38.540 things than you can.
00:06:39.700 Then look to Christ.
00:06:41.560 Look to God.
00:06:42.700 I mean, there is a reason, many reasons why God refers to himself as our father if we have
00:06:48.740 been saved by Christ.
00:06:50.640 We are his children.
00:06:52.680 We are co-heirs with Christ.
00:06:55.960 We belong to him.
00:06:57.440 We are a part of his family.
00:06:58.940 We are a part of his kingdom.
00:07:01.080 And he does see everything.
00:07:02.720 He does know everything.
00:07:03.960 Psalm 139 says that he purposed, planned every single day of our life before any of
00:07:10.420 them came to be.
00:07:11.320 He knit us together in our mother's womb.
00:07:13.820 We see in scripture that he knows everything, that he sees everything, that he is not limited
00:07:18.420 by time or space, that he actually is suspended in the eternal now, meaning that he is not limited
00:07:25.340 by the present moment.
00:07:26.800 He's not on this linear timeline that you and I are, something that we can't even fully
00:07:31.240 comprehend, because right now we are, you know, limited by those constraints that God is not
00:07:37.540 limited by.
00:07:38.240 So it's hard for us to even understand the eternality of his character.
00:07:43.040 But wow, if we're looking for power, like if we're looking for providence, if we are looking
00:07:48.260 to be comforted by something that is bigger, that is greater than us, that is mysterious,
00:07:54.580 and yet loves us and knows us and cares about what's best for us, then let's look to God
00:08:00.860 himself, whom we can have an intimate relationship with through Christ, who brings to us through
00:08:08.280 his death and resurrection by grace, through faith, reconciliation with the Holy God, restoration
00:08:14.120 to a Holy God in relationship with a Holy God.
00:08:17.940 And it is uncomfortable to think about, wow, our loved one who we loved so much here on
00:08:24.900 earth, who we knew so well that they are in heaven and they're preoccupied with something
00:08:28.580 else, but they are, they are.
00:08:31.040 If they are in heaven, they are totally and completely and joyfully consumed by the worship
00:08:39.840 of the glory of Christ.
00:08:42.380 And that's exactly what we want for them.
00:08:44.380 We don't want them to be worried with the anxieties of this life.
00:08:49.700 That's what they have graciously escaped.
00:08:52.080 And if they are in the presence of Christ, they've got a lot going on.
00:08:55.620 They've got a lot going on that doesn't have to do with us.
00:08:58.060 Now we will recognize our loved ones in heaven.
00:09:00.980 So there is, there may be, you know, joyous reunions there, but if you want to take comfort
00:09:07.020 in one, your own providence and someone who's watching out for you, take comfort Christian in
00:09:13.000 that there is a God who sees you and knows you and loves you very much.
00:09:17.580 And Romans 8, 28 says that he's working all things together for the good of those who love
00:09:22.360 him and are called according to his purpose.
00:09:24.080 That doesn't mean happiness.
00:09:25.300 That doesn't mean always ease.
00:09:26.920 That doesn't mean always comfort.
00:09:27.980 It actually could mean tragedy.
00:09:29.320 It could mean tribulation.
00:09:30.140 It could mean trials.
00:09:31.740 But in the end, all things work together for the good of those who love him and for the glory
00:09:38.340 of God.
00:09:38.700 So that's one piece of comfort there.
00:09:40.240 The other piece of comfort that we should have rather than thinking that our loved ones
00:09:44.000 are somehow intertwined in our lives is that they are consumed by the glory and the peace
00:09:48.260 of God finally and fully and are fully whole and fully healed.
00:09:52.460 And they don't have to mess with the temporal worries that we have here on earth.
00:09:57.360 So typically like the longings that are superficially fulfilled by false doctrines, they speak to
00:10:07.040 something that we actually need, but are always much more profoundly answered and satisfied
00:10:13.040 by the truth and what the gospel actually brings us.
00:10:18.860 And so just keep that in mind.
00:10:21.600 And again, a time and a place for that kind of correction, but it absolutely does matter.
00:10:27.320 Let us not put our hope and our comfort in lesser things when Christ is the one who fully satisfies.
00:10:32.600 Thoughts on, this is different, you know, lots of variety here.
00:10:48.860 Thoughts on postpartum depression.
00:10:51.240 So postpartum depression is a thing I think that we have neglected, probably ignored and
00:11:01.960 minimized for a while, but that is talked about a lot more.
00:11:05.780 Now, I do want to, I do want to differentiate and I'm not speaking as a psychologist or psychiatrist
00:11:12.580 myself.
00:11:13.280 I'm just speaking as a mom.
00:11:14.440 I'm also speaking as someone who interviews and talks to a lot of very learned experts in
00:11:21.840 this field because unfortunately, psychology, psychiatry, it's all become political.
00:11:27.180 And so there are conversations to be had about the pharmaceutical companies and about the
00:11:32.400 marketing and about the medical industry and how all of these things play into the different
00:11:37.640 diagnoses that we are told that we have and all of that.
00:11:41.440 So as I say my opinion, I'm speaking as someone who is just an amateur myself, just a, you
00:11:48.480 know, a normal plebe, but who cares about that stuff and who has had children. 0.94
00:11:54.020 So I've experienced this.
00:11:55.060 So, um, I do think postpartum depression is an important thing to name, an important thing
00:12:01.140 to talk about.
00:12:01.900 At the same time, I don't want to medicalize something that is normal.
00:12:08.200 It is normal for you to feel very emotional, even teary and stressed and tired in the postpartum
00:12:20.040 period that now just wait, I'm not minimizing real actual depression.
00:12:25.020 Just wait.
00:12:26.200 But I am telling you just because you feel those things, just because it's difficult, just because
00:12:31.180 you might even feel like sometimes you're losing your mind does not mean that you have
00:12:34.940 medical diagnosis, does not necessarily mean that you need to go on any kind of medication.
00:12:40.280 Maybe you need to see a counselor just in general.
00:12:43.800 I think some, as long as it's a biblical counselor, that can be a good idea.
00:12:46.880 Maybe you need to talk to a friend.
00:12:48.040 Maybe you need to ask for more help.
00:12:49.600 That's a big thing.
00:12:50.400 That's probably the biggest thing that I see that moms, after they give birth, they won't 1.00
00:12:53.380 ask for more help.
00:12:54.300 They want to do everything themselves.
00:12:55.760 Stop it.
00:12:56.480 Stop.
00:12:57.200 Stop vacuuming.
00:12:58.140 Stop folding your laundry.
00:12:59.140 It's fine.
00:12:59.960 Don't do it.
00:13:00.560 Let other people do it or don't do it at all.
00:13:03.040 Don't try to keep it all together.
00:13:04.380 Don't try to lose weight right away.
00:13:06.220 Don't worry.
00:13:07.380 Don't do the things that don't have to be done.
00:13:11.660 So maybe all those things are true, but also don't make yourself even more anxious with
00:13:17.600 trying to diagnose yourself with something when maybe it's not really a diagnosis.
00:13:22.300 It is very, very normal, very common, and I think very okay for you to go through a period
00:13:31.440 of emotional adjustment.
00:13:33.700 Not just because, wow, you've had so much physical change over the past few months and
00:13:39.800 over just the past few days if you just gave birth.
00:13:42.440 Oh my gosh, your hormones are everywhere. 0.99
00:13:44.960 And not just that, but there's a lot of emotions that don't even have to do with hormones that
00:13:50.380 come with giving birth.
00:13:51.680 Oh my goodness, that's such a significant period in your life.
00:13:54.640 There's probably a lot of pain, maybe a lot of hardship, a lot of stress, a lot of adrenaline,
00:13:59.660 a lot of maybe fear, and then a whole lot of happiness and a whole lot of love and a
00:14:04.680 whole lot of connection.
00:14:06.020 Like no matter what you're going through, if you have a combination of all of those things
00:14:10.440 within like a 24-hour period, that is going to be very significant.
00:14:14.740 That's going to do something to your system.
00:14:16.680 So if you feel a little bit jarred after that, add on top of that all of the hormones that
00:14:23.000 change, like when your baby, and sorry, a little graphic for the guys, but your placenta
00:14:27.760 leaves your body and then you immediately start producing milk and breastfeeding, there is so 0.69
00:14:33.900 much hormonal change that has to come from that.
00:14:36.560 And again, that's normal.
00:14:38.120 And then you're recovering possibly from an epidural.
00:14:40.960 Maybe you're recovering from a C-section.
00:14:42.580 You've got medication, pain medication that maybe you're dealing with.
00:14:46.160 You're still dealing with the pain after effects of that, whether it was a natural birth or
00:14:50.280 whether it was a C-section, whatever it was.
00:14:52.760 And then you're dealing with a lack of sleep.
00:14:54.400 You might be dealing with the pain of breastfeeding or the stress of breastfeeding.
00:14:58.240 And then you're also, maybe you have other kids and they don't understand.
00:15:02.360 They need you just as much.
00:15:03.660 They want to, you know, they want to be cuddled.
00:15:05.700 They want to be held.
00:15:06.400 They want to be fed.
00:15:07.560 And then depending on your financial situation, there are so many factors.
00:15:11.560 There's so much that goes on.
00:15:12.720 So if you feel a little sad or really sad, like if you feel stressed, if you feel tired
00:15:17.640 because you're not sleeping, all of those things are normal.
00:15:21.240 I'm not saying that they're okay and that they feel good or that you should just ignore
00:15:25.680 them.
00:15:26.320 You should be taking stock of your emotions.
00:15:28.260 However, okay, so here's where I get to something else.
00:15:31.280 There is a difference, I believe, in my amateur opinion, between that and the very normal
00:15:37.580 ups and downs, emotional ups and downs, physical ups and downs of postpartum, which by the
00:15:42.080 way, don't just last for three days.
00:15:43.480 They don't just last for three months.
00:15:44.740 I think postpartum is like a year plus, by the way.
00:15:48.160 I really do.
00:15:49.020 I think that that whole hormonal, mental, emotional, even spiritual, physical adjustment
00:15:54.580 period lasts for a year plus, depending on how your birth went and stuff.
00:15:59.820 But there is a difference between that, which I think is normal and should be dealt with in
00:16:05.220 a variety of ways that maybe don't have to do with medication at all or even professional
00:16:11.020 help at all, and then the depression, the psychosis, the anxiety that gets to the point
00:16:19.720 where it is debilitating.
00:16:21.740 You literally cannot stop crying.
00:16:24.880 You don't even feel like you can leave the house because you are so anxious about something
00:16:28.740 happening to your child.
00:16:30.180 You start having psychotic episodes or psychotic thoughts about harming yourself or harming other
00:16:36.600 people.
00:16:37.520 You feel this.
00:16:38.480 Unfortunately, this has happened to women. 1.00
00:16:40.120 I personally haven't experienced these things, but this has happened to women, women who 1.00
00:16:44.700 are good moms, women who are Christians, women who are very stable people.
00:16:49.540 Something happens in postpartum and they are mean to their families.
00:16:57.500 They feel an aversion towards the people who love them.
00:17:00.780 They become very angry.
00:17:02.180 They start acting out and saying things that are totally not in line with their character.
00:17:06.420 So postpartum depression, anxiety, psychosis are real things.
00:17:10.120 Where these things become so overwhelming, so persistent, consistent, debilitating, and
00:17:15.360 seemingly unfixable, even when the external factors are all kind of like put into place
00:17:21.640 and all of that, that may need professional help.
00:17:25.380 And it's really important to know that there should not be embarrassment when it comes to
00:17:31.240 seeking professional help for those things.
00:17:32.840 There should not be shame when it comes to naming what you actually have.
00:17:38.860 And you know, sometimes hindsight is 20-20 and you don't realize that you're in one of
00:17:42.960 those, that you have one of those diagnoses or you have something like that.
00:17:47.400 And now I'm not someone who is going to say, this just depends on case by case.
00:17:51.680 And I'm really glad that I don't have the authority and don't claim the authority to this.
00:17:55.700 I'm not even saying that like medication is always necessary in those cases.
00:18:00.640 I don't know.
00:18:01.800 That depends.
00:18:02.400 There are a lot of different opinions on that.
00:18:03.960 And obviously you have to go to your provider and see about that.
00:18:07.600 But I'm just saying those things do need to be addressed.
00:18:10.740 They need more help.
00:18:12.280 They need serious attention.
00:18:14.340 And you need more than anything in that moment when you realize this has gone too far.
00:18:19.180 I can't even be a mom.
00:18:20.720 I can't even, I don't want to get up.
00:18:22.600 I can't even live my life right now.
00:18:24.360 I can't even function at all like a normal human.
00:18:26.660 This is more than just baby blues.
00:18:28.520 You need, first of all, someone else beside you to take that seriously, very seriously.
00:18:34.100 And to say, don't worry, we love you.
00:18:36.960 You are a great mom and we are going to get you the help that you need.
00:18:43.340 Looking back at my last two births, as I'm recording this, I don't know when it's going
00:18:47.780 to come out.
00:18:48.360 I'm pregnant, so I haven't had my third baby yet.
00:18:51.660 But looking back at my first two births, I realized that my first one, I don't know.
00:18:57.820 I still don't know if I had official postpartum depression and anxiety.
00:19:01.540 But comparing now, now that I can compare after my first birth and after my second, I realize
00:19:07.720 that how I felt after my first birth, I was really, really low.
00:19:13.960 And I think I just thought that it was baby blues.
00:19:16.780 And now looking back at how much I was crying, how debilitating my anxiety was, how constantly
00:19:24.620 scared I was that something was going to happen to my baby, that I was one of those people
00:19:29.060 that did not want to drive in the car.
00:19:30.660 I was one of those people that did not want to leave my house.
00:19:33.140 I was one of those people that was so scared that someone was going to touch her and get
00:19:36.900 her sick.
00:19:37.380 I was so like germaphobic, which, okay, that's okay.
00:19:41.260 I guess to some degree, you do want to protect your child from those things.
00:19:45.380 But it was to the point to where I could not enjoy anything.
00:19:50.520 I couldn't enjoy other people interacting with my child.
00:19:53.660 I couldn't enjoy leaving my child and resting and doing what I needed to do.
00:19:59.340 I was so scared to go to church.
00:20:01.460 I was so scared to do anything.
00:20:03.160 And I was so sad.
00:20:05.240 Not about motherhood.
00:20:06.380 I did with both my children.
00:20:08.040 I had that instant connection of just overwhelming love.
00:20:11.000 And I know some people like struggle with that, depending on how the birth went.
00:20:14.060 It just kind of depends.
00:20:15.960 I never suffered from that.
00:20:17.720 I had the immediate love, the immediate connection, the immediate feeling of just like protection
00:20:22.980 and overwhelming care for this little person.
00:20:27.200 But with my first, I was so, so anxious and just so down.
00:20:32.780 And I think I had like a traumatic birth that didn't go how I wanted it to.
00:20:37.200 So that certainly played into it.
00:20:39.120 And then with my second, like I felt good physically.
00:20:42.860 Maybe that was part of it.
00:20:44.040 Physically, I felt really good after my second one, like the day off.
00:20:48.480 And that wasn't true with my first.
00:20:49.920 I dealt with like a lot of pain in my recovery with my first.
00:20:53.240 With my second, I really didn't.
00:20:55.000 But I also emotionally, like I felt fine.
00:20:57.780 Like my husband noted like right after I had the second, like, wow, like you are different.
00:21:05.140 This is like just your posture.
00:21:07.760 You're so much more, you're so much more okay than after our first, even like how I was walking,
00:21:14.240 how I was talking, how I was dealing with things.
00:21:15.960 And I didn't go through that constant like, oh my gosh, I can't leave the house.
00:21:19.680 Oh my gosh, I don't know what to do.
00:21:21.840 Oh my gosh, I'm so sad.
00:21:23.420 And everything reminds me of like my birth.
00:21:25.740 And I'm so sad.
00:21:26.360 Like I didn't have that after my second.
00:21:28.160 And it wasn't until I had that postpartum experience that I looked back at my first and
00:21:32.220 said, oh, that was a lot more difficult.
00:21:35.000 Maybe that wasn't normal.
00:21:36.000 Maybe it was PPD or PPD slash A.
00:21:38.400 I don't know.
00:21:40.600 I'm still not sure.
00:21:42.320 But there are variations.
00:21:43.880 So I'll just, I'll just say that.
00:21:46.180 But I also didn't realize, and this is something that y'all can look into.
00:21:49.260 I don't have the study in front of me, but pitocin, that's the synthetic form of oxytocin,
00:21:55.780 which is what your body is creating in lots of different situations, but requires for
00:22:00.960 birth and your body naturally creates it.
00:22:04.500 But pitocin is something that they can give you intravenously to cause contractions, whether
00:22:12.860 you are after birth, whether you're trying to eject the placenta or after birth, if they're
00:22:19.460 trying to get you to stop bleeding or during birth, like if you're getting induced and you
00:22:24.920 need help contracting to get the baby out. 1.00
00:22:27.820 Pitocin can actually increase your chances of postpartum depression.
00:22:31.660 I don't know exactly scientifically why that is.
00:22:34.180 I'm guessing it's just inserting a synthetic hormone into your body.
00:22:38.140 It can have a particular reaction, a particular response.
00:22:40.980 With my first child, I had pitocin.
00:22:42.640 Not very much of it, but I had it for a few hours.
00:22:45.360 With my second, I didn't at all.
00:22:46.600 So I don't know if for me that was a contributor or if it was just my second child and that's
00:22:56.040 just, you know, how I, it was just easier because you're like, oh, I have a track record
00:23:01.500 now of keeping a human alive.
00:23:03.260 Great.
00:23:03.500 I think I can do it a second time or what it was.
00:23:07.980 So anyway, that's my long-winded answer about postpartum depression and my personal experiences.
00:23:14.240 We'll see what it's like with my third.
00:23:17.560 I'll let y'all know when we're back in action.
00:23:19.620 Um, but yeah, I, I would just, I would just encourage you one to not dwell on it too much
00:23:25.280 if you just have like normal baby blues, but two to take stock of your emotions and to take
00:23:30.560 stock of your thoughts and to take stock of like how you're really doing and have someone
00:23:36.800 in your life, whether it's your spouse, whether it's your mom, whether it's your sister or
00:23:40.140 close friend that is helping you keep stock.
00:23:42.620 And look, if you're about to give birth, maybe go ahead and tell that person now, whoever your
00:23:46.960 person is, um, Hey, like, I'm going to need you to be kind of like, I need you to like,
00:23:54.360 watch out for me.
00:23:55.100 I need you to observe.
00:23:56.100 I need you to like, make sure that I'm doing okay.
00:23:58.760 Because you might not always be the best indicator of that because sometimes we're too close to
00:24:03.260 things to see them how they are.
00:24:04.780 So you need someone to be able to zoom out who really knows you.
00:24:07.340 Who's like, yeah, I don't think you're okay.
00:24:09.360 Or yeah, I think that you're fine.
00:24:11.580 Um, especially if someone knew you in your last births and things like that.
00:24:15.340 So that's what I would encourage.
00:24:29.440 All right, next question.
00:24:33.520 Um, okay.
00:24:33.960 So we talked about birth.
00:24:34.980 Let's talk about death for a second.
00:24:36.680 Cremation versus burial.
00:24:38.840 I don't really have a strong opinion on this.
00:24:40.680 Uh, the Catholic church for a while was, I'm not Catholic, but I know that they were for 0.99
00:24:45.440 a while totally against cremation because of the doctrine or because of the, um, biblical
00:24:51.440 passage about the resurrection of the bodies.
00:24:53.580 But I'm not, I don't think that that is a good reason.
00:24:58.360 Maybe that's not the only reason for, um, that's not the only reason that the Catholic
00:25:02.680 church had.
00:25:03.280 So I'm not saying that, but I still see people, Protestant or Catholic kind of saying that today
00:25:07.360 about the resurrection of the bodies and that we shouldn't be cremated because of that,
00:25:12.540 or it's just like a destruction of the body.
00:25:15.680 And so it's disrespectful to image bearers and to the design that the body has made.
00:25:22.020 Um, you know, I don't, I don't know anyone in my family who has been cremated.
00:25:26.860 I don't know anyone in my family who wants to be cremated.
00:25:29.720 I don't necessarily think that that's the best option, but I'm not saying that there's
00:25:35.660 biblical foundation for that or that I'm like authoritative on that.
00:25:39.260 That's just kind of an opinion that I have that I don't know.
00:25:43.300 I don't think I would want to destroy the body, but I, I'm not worried at all about the
00:25:48.840 resurrection of the bodies.
00:25:50.120 Look, there are people who, I mean, there are martyrs who were burned to life.
00:25:53.980 So they were basically cremated and there are people who die in all kinds of terrible
00:25:59.980 accidents where their bodies are basically destroyed.
00:26:04.140 I think the power of God, if he can raise people from the dead, like he can make beauty
00:26:11.120 and human form from ashes, right?
00:26:13.580 We know that the power of God can do that.
00:26:15.700 So I'm not worried for that reason.
00:26:18.820 Personally though, and I'm sure there are some other reasons that people had, I would not,
00:26:22.740 I would not do cremation.
00:26:26.320 Um, what's your favorite podcast?
00:26:27.920 So I'm going to tell, I'm going to let you in on a secret that we podcasters have is that
00:26:32.700 we don't really listen to other podcasts very often.
00:26:36.160 Um, I, now I love, there are other podcasts that I love.
00:26:40.760 I do not listen to any podcasts daily.
00:26:43.660 It takes a freaking long time to get ready for this podcast and then to record this podcast.
00:26:48.440 And sometimes we're recording multiple podcasts in a day because I got to go out of town.
00:26:52.200 I got something to do or I got maternity leave.
00:26:54.940 And so that's multiple hours of my day.
00:26:58.420 I don't typically, and then after that, like I'm, I'm full on doing other things.
00:27:03.360 I'm full on mom.
00:27:04.620 And so I just don't have time.
00:27:06.880 People who like listen to podcasts and like mother at the same time, more power to you.
00:27:12.040 I cannot, I can't do that.
00:27:13.800 I can't do that.
00:27:14.340 I can't multitask like that.
00:27:15.500 I got to put my brain to like one thing at a time.
00:27:19.200 Um, and so, yeah, that part just not possible for me.
00:27:24.040 Um, so I will listen if there's like, I'll listen to Megan Kelly's podcast, which is amazing.
00:27:31.860 Um, I will listen sometimes to Ben Shapiro's podcast.
00:27:35.320 I'll listen sometimes to Al Mohler's podcast.
00:27:37.720 I'll listen to R.C.
00:27:38.880 Sproul's podcast.
00:27:39.640 I'll listen to Elizabeth Elliott's podcast.
00:27:41.480 Or if there's a specific podcast episode that someone sends me, I will listen to that.
00:27:46.600 But typically it's, I don't listen to a podcast episode unless it's like,
00:27:51.760 Ooh, this is a subject that I really want to hear explained or that I need broken down.
00:27:57.080 Or I want to hear this particular person's take on that.
00:28:00.920 So, I mean, there's a wide variety of people that I would listen to for that.
00:28:05.280 I mean, there are different podcasts at Blaze TV.
00:28:07.780 There are other, the other podcasts at the Daily Wire.
00:28:10.300 I've probably listened to like all of these podcasts at least a few times.
00:28:13.980 It just depends.
00:28:15.040 It depends on what that person's talking about.
00:28:16.860 It depends on what I want to know.
00:28:17.840 Sometimes I'll listen to Joe Rogan's podcast.
00:28:19.480 If it's a guest that I really want to hear from, very rarely listen to the whole thing,
00:28:24.340 just to be honest.
00:28:26.060 Um, so yeah, that, and I would say that it's true of most podcasters and we all support each
00:28:32.980 other.
00:28:33.560 Liz Wheeler and I were talking about this the other day.
00:28:36.760 Love your stuff.
00:28:38.200 Support you.
00:28:39.040 High five.
00:28:40.460 Great.
00:28:41.240 I don't listen to you very much.
00:28:43.260 And it's not because we're not fans.
00:28:45.100 It's just because we don't have time in the day.
00:28:48.360 So yeah, it just depends on the topic.
00:28:50.640 I honestly, as far as listening to podcasts, because I'm probably like your average podcast
00:28:54.940 listener because there are the avid podcast listeners, but that's not very many people.
00:28:59.940 I saw a Pew Research thing the other day that was like only 20% of Americans even ever listen
00:29:05.540 to podcasts and a much smaller percentage of that listen to a podcast every day, like 5%
00:29:10.980 of that 20%.
00:29:11.920 Um, yeah.
00:29:14.920 So not very many people listen to podcasts.
00:29:17.140 I, and it's amazing to me how many people listen to this podcast every single day.
00:29:22.760 And you listen to other, some of you listen to other podcasts too, which is incredible.
00:29:27.020 I also, if I'm going to listen to one, I turned it on 1.5 times or two times.
00:29:31.660 I don't know what that says.
00:29:33.000 I feel like that's probably a bad indication of how your brain works.
00:29:36.100 Not a good indication.
00:29:37.720 I don't think it's an indication that, wow, you're so smart and you can process things so
00:29:40.980 fast.
00:29:41.300 I think it means you have a short attention span.
00:29:44.240 And now if I try, I can't do it with Ben Shapiro.
00:29:46.540 Ben Shapiro is already talking at two times.
00:29:48.220 So if I try to speed them up, I can't understand them at all.
00:29:51.360 But like, if I have to go back and listen to this podcast for some reason, I just want
00:29:55.660 to like, you know, decide social media clips or see if there's anything in there that I
00:30:00.720 want to, I don't know, point out, whatever.
00:30:03.840 Um, I will listen to it on two times.
00:30:06.400 I cannot listen to myself on one times.
00:30:09.060 I think I sound inebriated.
00:30:11.800 I have to listen to myself twice as fast.
00:30:14.360 And the fact like when you guys post screenshots of listening to this and it's on one times,
00:30:19.800 I'm like so embarrassed.
00:30:20.900 I'm like, oh my gosh, they have to listen to my, what sounds like drunk Allie. 0.77
00:30:27.020 Um, but it works for y'all.
00:30:28.980 I know y'all think I talk fast anyway, which I don't think that I do, but it just depends.
00:30:34.440 I guess it just depends.
00:30:44.360 All right, let's do maybe one more question.
00:30:55.180 Let's see how to reconcile relationships with family members who have hurt you.
00:31:00.120 So reconciliation, I think can be beautifully redemptive, but it is not always necessary
00:31:06.780 for forgiveness.
00:31:09.320 Reconciliation isn't always possible.
00:31:11.720 If that person is hostile to you and your family and your safety, true safety, I'm not
00:31:18.980 just talking about like your emotional state, although that's important, but I'm talking
00:31:23.860 about like really they're hostile to you, then you do not have to be reconciled to them.
00:31:28.940 Reconciliation is not always a necessary part of forgiveness.
00:31:34.480 I think it can be, and God can do that.
00:31:37.780 God can do that with any like family relationship that he wants to restore.
00:31:42.740 He can.
00:31:43.520 That's going to take heart change.
00:31:45.740 Um, but it's not always possible and it's not always necessary.
00:31:51.160 The important thing is for you to release that person from your grip of resentment and bitterness.
00:31:58.600 And it's not because that person deserves it.
00:32:02.020 They don't.
00:32:03.280 But you also did not deserve the forgiveness that God gave you through Christ.
00:32:09.180 Whatever someone did to us, real or exaggerated, sometimes we exaggerate the offense that people
00:32:16.700 have committed against us, but sometimes we're right on.
00:32:20.000 They really have offended us and hurt us in some way.
00:32:22.520 Whatever offense that someone has committed against us, it is nothing like the offense
00:32:27.980 that we have committed against a holy God as sinners.
00:32:30.780 And if he was gracious enough, it's the perfect being that he is to forgive us, to make a way
00:32:36.820 for us to be restored, to be made new, to be made right before him and to come into relationship
00:32:43.620 with him.
00:32:44.120 If he did that to us while we were yet sinners, while we were his enemies, while we were scoffers,
00:32:50.660 while we hated him, then of course we have the power, the ability to forgive someone else
00:32:58.180 whose infraction, whose offense was much smaller in the grand scheme of things than the offense
00:33:04.460 that we committed against God by being sinners.
00:33:08.080 And so that reality allows us to realize, I almost said reminds, but allows us to realize
00:33:18.040 kind of the position that we're in.
00:33:20.480 We're not as holy or as self-righteous as we think that we are, that we cannot extend
00:33:29.060 forgiveness to other people.
00:33:31.120 And forgiveness does not mean that what they did was okay.
00:33:34.220 It doesn't mean that we forget about it.
00:33:35.920 It doesn't mean that we weren't impacted by that betrayal, that rejection, that downright
00:33:41.380 wickedness or meanness, whatever it was that they did toward us.
00:33:46.860 It just means that one, like we understand where we are orienting ourselves rightly in light of
00:33:55.720 who we are in Christ and the gospel of forgiveness that he's bestowed on us, but also like who we
00:34:05.200 are in relation to other people and how quickly this life goes by.
00:34:10.080 And it allows us to realize too, that life is, it's much too short to be entrapped by bitterness
00:34:17.480 and resentment, which are sins.
00:34:19.360 We are not to be dictated by bitterness and resentment, and we are actually burdening our
00:34:25.480 own hearts.
00:34:26.200 We are actually imprisoning ourselves.
00:34:28.660 When we hold grudges, oh, I'm preaching to the choir.
00:34:31.680 I can think of several people right now, not family members, but who have hurt me in the
00:34:36.200 past, who I still, I'm like, I don't like that person.
00:34:41.080 That person is not a good person.
00:34:42.740 And I say that, you know, quote clearly, good person.
00:34:45.440 Like I still see that person acting a fool and just being a slimy human being.
00:34:50.800 I have a grudge.
00:34:52.780 I have grudges and I have resentment.
00:34:55.640 I have bitterness against people because of the offense that they've committed to me.
00:34:59.920 I have not allowed that part of the gospel to seep into my heart and to realize there
00:35:04.840 is really no reason for me to continue to hold that against him when God holds nothing
00:35:08.540 against me and Christ.
00:35:10.320 And also like that bitterness is weighing me down.
00:35:13.600 That resentment is weighing me down.
00:35:16.140 It is making it difficult for me to live totally freely.
00:35:19.700 It's difficult for me to be completely spiritually liberated because that hardness of heart is
00:35:26.380 still there.
00:35:27.100 That heaviness, that weight that bitterness brings is still there.
00:35:30.580 And that inhibits like a truly joyful and peaceful life in Christ.
00:35:36.360 That's like a, I mean, that's a gospel issue in my heart and in the hearts of other people
00:35:41.760 that hold that bitterness.
00:35:43.740 It is like, it's about trusting the Lord too.
00:35:47.080 It's about trusting Psalm 37.
00:35:49.700 That, you know, the wicked will pay.
00:35:52.200 One day there will be no more.
00:35:54.400 And the righteous will live on forever because of God's mercy and grace.
00:35:59.880 And hopefully the person that we are withholding our forgiveness from, hopefully they will be
00:36:05.580 counted among the righteous because of Christ.
00:36:07.760 We shouldn't want their ultimate demise.
00:36:10.440 But God is going to sort it all out.
00:36:12.760 God is going to exact revenge where he needs to exact revenge.
00:36:16.180 God is going to take care of you.
00:36:17.700 He is not going to allow what someone did to you to somehow thwart his plan for your life.
00:36:22.820 That's just not how it works.
00:36:24.220 That person is not that powerful.
00:36:26.060 The power that they really have over you is the authority that they've claimed on your
00:36:32.220 heart through the grudge or the resentment or the bitterness that you still carry for them.
00:36:36.000 So anyway, reconciliation can be great.
00:36:39.340 If you can talk to that person, if you can have a conversation where you really speak truth and
00:36:43.840 love, where you don't compromise, you don't acquiesce, but you do show them that you care
00:36:48.900 about them as a person.
00:36:50.880 And God can use that if he wants to use that and he can bring restoration there.
00:36:54.420 But the most important thing is, is that we allow God to free us from the bitterness and
00:36:58.660 resentment that we are carrying because of the offense that they did commit against us.
00:37:04.260 All right.
00:37:04.860 That's all we've got time for today.
00:37:06.780 Thanks so much for listening.
00:37:07.760 We will be back here tomorrow.
00:37:08.680 Hey guys, if you love this podcast, please leave us a five-star review wherever you listen
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00:37:29.220 And if you haven't yet, please subscribe to our YouTube channel.
00:37:33.320 Thanks.
00:37:38.680 Bye.