Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 911 ｜ How Many Kids Should Christians Have？｜ Q&A

00:00:00.860 Is there a certain number of kids that Christians are supposed to have? 1.00

00:00:06.020 How do you handle a coworker who is gay and who is going through the surrogacy process 1.00

00:00:13.080 with their partner?

00:00:15.820 How are you supposed to address that and try to maintain a friendship, but also make sure

00:00:20.640 that you are living in a way that aligns with your values?

00:00:24.820 Also, should abortion doctors get the death penalty? 1.00

00:00:27.440 What's my go-to coffee order?

00:00:28.880 What do I think about Nikki Haley?

00:00:30.680 We're going to be talking about all of this and more on this episode of Relatable, which

00:00:34.180 is brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers.

00:00:37.040 Go to GoodRanchers.com.

00:00:38.380 Use code Allie at checkout. 1.00

00:00:39.900 That's GoodRanchers.com.

00:00:41.040 Code Allie. 1.00

00:00:51.160 Hey, guys.

00:00:51.940 Welcome to Relatable.

00:00:53.220 Hope everyone is having a wonderful day and a wonderful week.

00:00:56.140 All right.

00:00:56.720 We've got another Q&A episode for you.

00:00:59.720 As always, you guys have sent me very interesting questions.

00:01:02.840 Wide variety, lighthearted, a little bit more complex.

00:01:06.700 I'll do the best I can to answer the more complex ones in a thorough way while still trying to

00:01:13.400 keep my answers concise.

00:01:15.640 All right.

00:01:16.300 Let's see.

00:01:16.840 One question that I got is, number of kids a Christian has freedom of conscience, or are

00:01:24.780 we to have many?

00:01:27.300 So basically, is there a biblical mandate to have a certain number of children or not?

00:01:32.900 We don't see a particular number in the Bible that we are supposed to have.

00:01:38.400 We are told in the beginning to be fruitful and multiply.

00:01:41.680 Obviously, we know that that simply is not possible for everyone.

00:01:46.380 Either God just has not planned for you to get married.

00:01:50.800 Maybe it's biologically impossible for you to have a child.

00:01:54.160 You struggle with infertility.

00:01:55.500 There are a variety of reasons for that.

00:01:57.440 Maybe you've tried to adopt.

00:01:58.860 You've tried to foster.

00:02:00.100 Has it worked out?

00:02:01.440 There could be a number of reasons.

00:02:04.460 No fault of your own why you may not have children.

00:02:07.900 But if you can have children and if you are married, I do believe that Christians are 0.89

00:02:13.900 called to have kids.

00:02:16.580 So I know that's not what this person is asking, but I do just want to start off with

00:02:21.080 that.

00:02:21.360 We've talked about that a lot, but if you've missed it, I don't really believe that there

00:02:24.960 is a biblical excuse not to have children other than you cannot have children for some

00:02:31.860 reason.

00:02:32.820 Now, there could be some exceptions to that.

00:02:37.000 If you have a concentrated mission effort that God has specifically called you to, and

00:02:44.400 so for a period of time, it is being responsible or good stewards to not multiply, to not have

00:02:53.180 children.

00:02:53.660 I've heard John Piper talk about this.

00:02:55.540 That's basically the exception that he explains.

00:02:58.060 Other than that, just wanting to be quote unquote child free, wanting to pursue a career

00:03:03.260 instead of having children, wanting to travel instead of having children.

00:03:06.660 Being scared of what the future holds, being worried about the way that the world is going.

00:03:12.000 Those are not biblical reasons not to have children.

00:03:16.600 Now, there are biblical reasons not to get married at all.

00:03:20.660 We actually read in the New Testament that being married distracts you.

00:03:25.500 It distracts you from heavenly pursuits.

00:03:27.840 It distracts you from focusing on eternity.

00:03:30.220 It distracts you from focusing on Christ because your interests, your priorities are split.

00:03:36.040 But we are also told if you have not been given that gift of celibacy, that gift of singleness,

00:03:43.560 then it is better to be married than to burn with passion.

00:03:48.560 The vast, vast, vast majority of people do not have that gift of celibacy and singleness.

00:03:55.160 Some people do.

00:03:56.120 And that is absolutely wonderful.

00:03:57.460 That is a gift to be grateful for.

00:03:58.620 Some of you have been given that gift even though you did not want it or you did not ask for it.

00:04:03.960 So there are biblical reasons not to be married.

00:04:06.140 But just to reiterate, after you get married, there are very, very, very few biblical reasons

00:04:11.760 not to have children.

00:04:14.260 So once we've established that, how many children are we to have?

00:04:18.480 I think that this is a debate that Christians, genuine, sincere, Bible-believing, God-loving

00:04:25.780 Christians can in good faith debate.

00:04:29.160 There are wonderful Christian parents who have 10 children.

00:04:33.120 There are wonderful Christian parents who have two children.

00:04:36.200 Now, we can get into, and we might actually in this episode, or it might be a question that

00:04:40.360 I answer on another episode, different forms of birth control that are more ethical than

00:04:45.500 others, that are more biblically aligned than others.

00:04:49.380 But not even talking about that, excluding the what kind of birth control conversation.

00:04:56.640 I do believe it is freedom of conscience.

00:04:59.460 And I also think that it's always an examining of the heart.

00:05:03.660 What is the reason that you stopped having children after one?

00:05:07.260 They could be wise and godly reasons.

00:05:09.420 They could be selfish and fleshly and anxiety-ridden reasons.

00:05:14.080 And obviously, I can't see into your heart.

00:05:16.340 And so that is something that you will have to seek through prayer, that you will have to

00:05:19.980 seek through the analysis and uncovering of your own heart and your own motivation.

00:05:25.000 Same with that of your spouse and maybe godly counsel as well.

00:05:29.460 So I can't give you a hard and fast answer on that.

00:05:32.100 I do think that there is freedom of conscience within that.

00:05:35.180 And I'm open to discussion and debate on that particular question.

00:05:41.160 Another question that I got, what are some small things that I look forward to doing every day?

00:05:50.200 So small things.

00:05:51.720 I don't know if this is big or small.

00:05:53.160 I mean, it's big in the long run, I guess, in the day-to-day because it's so routine.

00:05:57.120 It seems small, but I genuinely look forward to waking my kids up.

00:06:02.000 Or I don't wake them up, but I get them out of bed.

00:06:04.600 And just like saying good morning and being with them in the morning, I genuinely look forward to that.

00:06:09.140 Of course, at the end of the day, you're so ready for peace and quiet and to rest and just to be able

00:06:14.260 to actually focus on one task without a million people and a million things pulling your attention

00:06:19.060 in different directions.

00:06:19.960 But by the time the morning comes, you're like, I'm ready.

00:06:23.760 I'm ready to see their faces.

00:06:25.160 I'm ready to talk to them.

00:06:26.420 And so that's something that I look forward to every day.

00:06:29.660 But something smaller than that, it used to be coffee.

00:06:32.420 Like I would just look forward to my morning coffee.

00:06:35.340 I don't think this is good for your metabolism, but I used to wake up and just have like my cup

00:06:41.300 of black coffee and then not eat for like a couple hours.

00:06:44.480 I don't think it's good for you because then by the time you're ready to eat, you like crave

00:06:49.800 all of this unhealthy stuff, whatever.

00:06:52.460 You can fight me on that.

00:06:53.360 I'm sure there are some nutritionists out there that would argue with me.

00:06:56.240 But since I've been pregnant, I have not wanted black coffee.

00:07:01.260 Isn't that such a weird aversion?

00:07:03.440 I know that a lot of women, they don't like coffee when they first find out that they're 1.00

00:07:06.900 pregnant, but for it to last, it lasted. 0.95

00:07:10.100 I mean, as I'm recording this, I'm only halfway through my pregnancy, but it's lasted all the

00:07:14.340 way thus far.

00:07:14.980 Like I was always just a black coffee drinker, black hot coffee.

00:07:19.480 And the thought of that really kind of makes me want to puke.

00:07:22.680 I don't know why, because it's such a like a bitter, nondescript taste.

00:07:27.020 It's weird to think and there's no texture.

00:07:29.020 It's weird to think that it would bother you.

00:07:31.320 But I've had to drink iced coffee during this.

00:07:35.100 Oh, this, you know what?

00:07:36.140 I'll just lead into another question here.

00:07:39.560 Oh, you know what?

00:07:40.580 Another thing I look forward to, though, and I have looked forward to ever since I got

00:07:44.080 married, just like hanging out, vegging out with my husband at night.

00:07:48.440 It's harder now because it's later than it used to be because we have so many responsibilities

00:07:53.500 before we put our kids to bed.

00:07:56.120 And then after that, it's like, OK, we're tired.

00:07:57.840 We're basically ready to go to bed ourselves.

00:07:59.520 But when we do have the time to sit down and to watch a movie together or to watch a show

00:08:05.620 together like that is such an awesome part of being married.

00:08:09.460 And it's truly my favorite part of being married.

00:08:12.200 And this is especially true when I first got married and was getting used to living with

00:08:17.920 someone and not having to check in with anyone or be accountable to anyone about how I'm spent,

00:08:22.780 how much time I'm spending with him or how we're spending our time.

00:08:26.920 Like you could truly just be there, be alone, not think about anything except for what you're

00:08:32.880 doing. And it felt like there was something fun to look forward to every day after work.

00:08:38.720 And honestly, I still feel that way.

00:08:40.280 I just really like hanging out with him at night.

00:08:42.440 So those are some things that I look forward to now on the coffee question, because another

00:08:47.600 question that I got for this episode was, what's my go to coffee order?

00:08:52.420 So it used to just be black coffee now.

00:08:55.480 OK, so sometimes, sometimes I'm just going to let you know you might feel betrayed.

00:09:01.220 Sometimes I go through Starbucks.

00:09:04.680 I know, I know, communist Starbucks that stands against so much of what we hold dear.

00:09:12.240 But the reason is, and I don't know if this is a good excuse or not, it's the only

00:09:17.340 drive-through coffee place in my area.

00:09:19.680 When we used to live in Athens, Georgia, go Dawgs, there's Jittery Joe's.

00:09:25.580 And so, I mean, Jittery Joe's probably has similar values to Starbucks, but at least there

00:09:29.360 was an alternative.

00:09:30.180 There was a local alternative.

00:09:31.940 There's really nothing convenient.

00:09:33.380 Now, I typically, though, OK, so if I go to Starbucks, it is, what's it called?

00:09:39.700 A vanilla cold brew with sweet cream, or is it a cold brew with vanilla sweet cream?

00:09:44.660 I don't remember what exactly it's called, but it is an iced coffee that I'm sure is

00:09:51.940 not good for you.

00:09:52.660 I mean, it's only 90 calories, but I'm sure there's a bunch of fake stuff in it.

00:09:56.260 That was like my go to pregnancy drink.

00:09:58.320 But I will say most of the time I am drinking coffee at home.

00:10:02.600 I am making my own coffee, my own iced coffee from the coffee that we have.

00:10:08.260 And I put vanilla almond milk in there, and I get my, the vanilla almond milk I use is

00:10:15.160 three trees.

00:10:16.180 That is a recommendation I have to you, because one time I posted about just my standard almond

00:10:20.640 milk on Instagram, and I don't typically like these messages.

00:10:23.720 No one likes to get these messages.

00:10:25.580 You know, there's a bunch of fake stuff in that almond milk.

00:10:27.840 There's a bunch of fillers and stuff like that.

00:10:29.360 But you know, even though I was, you know, just a little kind of annoyed by the message,

00:10:34.480 I did take it to heart, because I had never really thought about what was in my almond

00:10:37.760 milk.

00:10:38.080 I just thought it was unsweetened, and it was unsweetened, and it was fine.

00:10:41.600 But then I looked on the back, and there was a bunch of fake stuff.

00:10:44.880 And so I found three trees, and it's a little more expensive, of course, but it's only almonds

00:10:50.320 and water, right?

00:10:53.060 Just almonds and water.

00:10:54.480 And then it has like vanilla extract if you get the vanilla kind.

00:10:58.020 So anyway, so that's the kind of almond milk I use.

00:11:00.440 And I put that in my coffee, got ice, sometimes like I'll get a little sassy and put some cinnamon

00:11:07.540 in there, and then I've got a little frother that I use.

00:11:10.300 The only thing that's terrible about it is that it all separates, and I hate that, and

00:11:13.520 you're constantly having to stir it.

00:11:15.000 But that's my go-to coffee situation.

00:11:30.440 Okay, Nikki Haley opinions.

00:11:33.960 Look, I like Nikki Haley.

00:11:36.180 I like a lot of what she says.

00:11:37.760 I like a lot of what she says.

00:11:38.940 I'm going to leave it at that for now, because as it is, I would really like to have her,

00:11:44.640 as of now, I would really like to have her on my show.

00:11:48.160 Maybe by the time you're listening to this, and yeah, maybe by the time you're listening

00:11:53.060 to this, she will have already been on my show.

00:11:55.200 But that is the hope.

00:11:56.080 One of my goals is to get all of the Republican presidential candidates on my show.

00:12:00.800 If I can get a Democrat presidential candidate, which I think I probably could, there's one

00:12:05.280 that I think I could, I would like to get them all on my show.

00:12:08.720 Now, technically, I've already had two.

00:12:10.460 I've already had Trump, and I've already had DeSantis.

00:12:13.020 Maybe I can get them again.

00:12:14.380 That would be interesting.

00:12:16.840 But yes, I mean, this is a very enviable audience that I have here.

00:12:20.740 I don't think there's any other political commentator that has majority female audience 25 to

00:12:25.300 45.

00:12:26.040 So I got the suburban moms on lockdown here. 1.00

00:12:29.000 And so if any candidate wants to appeal to the suburban mom, which is a vote that is always

00:12:33.800 a toss up, then you need to come on Relatable and tell us why we should vote for you, especially

00:12:38.120 in the Republican primaries.

00:12:39.620 Most of you out there are going to vote for a Republican for sure.

00:12:42.400 But I bet that a lot of you have not decided who you would vote for in the presidential primary.

00:12:47.020 I can guess who most of you would probably vote for, but I bet that your vote is something

00:12:54.700 to be fought for right now.

00:12:56.660 So hopefully we'll be able to do that on Relatable.

00:13:00.120 Let's see.

00:13:00.920 Oh, here's a spicy one.

00:13:02.180 Should abortion doctors get the death penalty? 1.00

00:13:06.060 Well, if I'm consistent, I mean, I believe that capital murder deserves the death penalty.

00:13:12.900 I think that's the only just punishment for capital murder that is proven, obviously, in

00:13:18.320 a court of law beyond a reasonable doubt.

00:13:21.120 A lot of people say, how can you trust the government?

00:13:24.120 How can you trust the government to decide who lives or dies?

00:13:26.580 Well, that's not really how our justice system works.

00:13:29.020 Not to say that our justice system is perfect by any means, but you are judged.

00:13:35.000 Your verdict is decided upon by a jury of your peers, and you are proven either guilty or

00:13:42.940 not guilty.

00:13:44.500 And so I am totally fine with raising the standard of evidence that is required for the death

00:13:51.360 penalty for someone to be sentenced to execution.

00:13:54.740 But I do think it is a just punishment for capital murder and some other particularly

00:14:00.700 heinous crimes like child rape, for example.

00:14:04.700 And the biblical foundation for this is Genesis 9-6.

00:14:09.960 God actually demands the death penalty.

00:14:12.620 And the reason that he demands the death penalty is a reason that is still true today, that we

00:14:17.680 are made in God's image.

00:14:20.220 That is why God demands the death penalty for murder.

00:14:23.040 It's actually out of compassion, out of the honor of the dignity of human beings, the unique

00:14:30.160 dignity of human beings that God demands such a serious punishment for taking the life of

00:14:37.440 an image bearer.

00:14:38.840 There are examples in scripture of him showing mercy to murderers like Moses, like David,

00:14:45.780 but that does not negate the rule.

00:14:47.960 That doesn't negate Genesis 9-6.

00:14:50.120 And Genesis 9-6 was not negated by Jesus' death and resurrection.

00:14:54.300 It wasn't abolished by Jesus.

00:14:56.180 It wasn't done away with in the New Testament because, again, it's rooted not in Israelite

00:15:02.440 law.

00:15:03.020 It's actually rooted in the creation ordinance, which, of course, is still true today.

00:15:07.080 We are still made in God's image.

00:15:08.640 Therefore, capital punishment for murder is still just today.

00:15:15.940 So if I believe that babies in the womb are image bearers of God just as much as any of

00:15:23.180 us are, if I know for a fact that human life starts at conception, that's a scientific fact,

00:15:28.820 and if I believe that human life is made in the image of God, and if someone intentionally

00:15:34.680 murders that human life, I don't see why I would make an exception for abortionists just 1.00

00:15:40.820 because we use the euphemism abortionist.

00:15:44.100 I mean, really, they're serial killers.

00:15:46.120 They just have a lot of PR, better PR than most serial killers do today.

00:15:53.060 So consistently, if we're to not be hypocrites, I would say abortion doctors deserve the same 0.79

00:16:00.760 punishment as any other murderers do.

00:16:04.600 Let's see.

00:16:05.380 What's my favorite Bible verse and why?

00:16:07.820 It's hard for me to pick one particular verse.

00:16:10.740 I always talk about Psalm 37.

00:16:13.060 Psalm 37, one is very comforting to me.

00:16:15.340 I love Psalm 37.

00:16:16.400 I love Psalm 33.

00:16:17.800 I love the whole book of Ephesians.

00:16:20.000 I also love the whole book of Genesis.

00:16:22.760 Genesis is very interesting to me.

00:16:24.500 I think the storytelling in Genesis is masterful.

00:16:27.780 There are so many interesting and even humorous parts of Genesis, interesting parts of Genesis.

00:16:32.120 We learn so much about who God is, what justice looks like, what his righteousness looks like,

00:16:37.520 what his love for his people looks like in Genesis.

00:16:40.040 And I find myself almost every day as I see the craziness in the world going back to Genesis 1 through 3.

00:16:45.780 Yeah, Genesis 1 through 3, looking at how God intentionally created human beings,

00:16:50.980 looking at the fall, how Satan tempted Adam and Eve and all of that.

00:16:54.880 So I would say that those are my go-tos.

00:16:58.100 In college, my friend and I decided to memorize the book of Ephesians.

00:17:02.460 I don't even know exactly why we did it.

00:17:04.580 That's the only book that I've ever memorized all the way through.

00:17:06.960 I tried to memorize Philippians.

00:17:08.420 I don't think I ever got finished with it.

00:17:10.800 But Ephesians is the only book that I've memorized.

00:17:13.860 Now, I will say about memorizing Scripture, which I highly recommend.

00:17:19.840 I'm not as good at remembering references,

00:17:22.480 but thankfully, by the grace of God and the generosity of my parents,

00:17:26.200 I got a Christian education, kindergarten through 12th grade.

00:17:29.920 And that, without a doubt, laid the foundation for me theologically and depically.

00:17:34.860 People ask me all the time, how do you recall these verses when you're talking?

00:17:38.160 It's not really anything I can take credit for.

00:17:40.720 It is because of the education that I got, kindergarten through 12th grade.

00:17:43.300 And I'm sorry, you can't get that if you don't have a Christian education,

00:17:46.180 even if you have amazing Christian parents.

00:17:48.620 There is a difference between spending 40 hours a week learning the Bible

00:17:51.980 and 40 hours a week learning the opposite of the Bible.

00:17:55.660 It's just, it's going to make a difference.

00:17:56.880 It's going to lay a different foundation.

00:17:59.400 So I will say, I definitely am for memorizing Scripture.

00:18:05.720 But there are some downsides.

00:18:08.500 And y'all can help me work this out because I'm like,

00:18:10.460 how can it be possible that there is any downside to memorizing Scripture?

00:18:15.300 And we should never discourage people from memorizing Scripture.

00:18:18.620 I love being able to recall all of Ephesians.

00:18:22.100 I love that.

00:18:22.940 That's probably why I reference it so much, because I know it by heart.

00:18:26.220 And so it just comes to mind.

00:18:27.760 And that benefit outweighs any negative that I'm about to say.

00:18:32.400 But it's really hard for me to sit down and read Ephesians.

00:18:37.060 Because I've memorized it, it's like my mind automatically goes on cruise control.

00:18:45.120 Like I can't focus on each word because it's like I'm just,

00:18:52.300 like it's just playing out in my head and I'm already thinking about the next verse.

00:18:57.720 So it's really hard for me to sit down and read Ephesians and take in what I'm reading

00:19:03.520 each word because I have it all memorized.

00:19:06.340 Maybe that's just my weird brain.

00:19:08.380 I'm not really sure.

00:19:09.340 So don't hear that as discouragement.

00:19:12.400 But at the same time, I do think that, I don't know, there's maybe something to be said

00:19:19.240 about not having every word of a chapter memorized and really being able to, like not being able

00:19:26.300 to anticipate the next word and really chew on every word that you're reading, if that

00:19:30.700 makes sense.

00:19:31.200 Y'all can let me know what you think about that.

00:19:32.740 Um, let's see how to handle a gay married coworker who's going through the surrogate process 1.00

00:19:50.700 and still keep a good working relationship.

00:19:54.240 Um, do y'all remember that funny moment, um, at the podium with President Trump and I think

00:20:04.340 he was making a statement in a press conference and it must have been that Putin just won his

00:20:10.300 phony election or something like that.

00:20:12.480 And he had this note card that some photojournalist ended up taking a picture of and it just said

00:20:18.060 in all caps, do not congratulate, do not congratulate.

00:20:21.500 So I would say that as a Christian, you know what you know about the surrogacy process and

00:20:27.900 how exploiting it is of both the woman who's involved, whether it's the person who sold

00:20:35.340 her eggs, the person who is allowing her womb to be rented or the child who didn't ask to 0.99

00:20:41.280 be ripped away from her biological mother or her gestator. 0.69

00:20:46.080 We've talked about the ethical problems with that many times.

00:20:49.140 So knowing what you know about that, that that is, um, not a neutral process, that is

00:20:54.120 not an ethical process.

00:20:55.380 It's actually a very wicked and selfish, um, process for the person who is doing the, the

00:21:01.520 buying and the exploiting.

00:21:03.040 And then also your belief about marriage that we see in the first chapter of the Bible that

00:21:07.700 we don't believe that there is a definition of marriage outside of the marriage between

00:21:12.580 a man and a woman.

00:21:13.420 So you cannot in good faith, like in alignment with what you believe, congratulate them.

00:21:19.400 That doesn't mean that you can't be kind to them.

00:21:21.920 That doesn't mean that you can't say things like, or ask them questions if you want to,

00:21:28.000 um, or be interested in their lives or talk to them.

00:21:31.560 Or if they show you their wedding plans or show you a picture of their child, of course,

00:21:36.160 you can say, that's beautiful.

00:21:37.980 Wow.

00:21:38.580 She's adorable.

00:21:39.480 Um, she's so precious, you know, things like that.

00:21:42.680 You can still be involved in their lives and you can be interested in trying to build that

00:21:47.660 relationship with them and care about the things that they care about, um, without condoning

00:21:52.480 it, without celebrating it, without congratulating it and without participating in it.

00:21:57.720 So that's just in general, I would, what I would say, I don't think that's easy, what

00:22:03.160 I just recommended.

00:22:04.100 Um, but I would say to try to stay in alignment with your faith, which is the most important

00:22:10.900 thing, um, and also try to be a friend to them, which is much lower in priority than

00:22:19.980 honoring God, um, that that's probably the balance that I would strike.

00:22:25.880 Um, should I move where my husband wants to move or prioritize my aging parents?

00:22:33.480 That's really difficult.

00:22:34.480 And I couldn't even begin to know all of the variables that exist there.

00:22:38.440 So of course, not knowing your complete circumstance, I can't give you a hard and fast answer.

00:22:43.580 Now, if you're a Christian, you are to submit to your husband. 0.99

00:22:46.520 You are to ultimately follow your husband.

00:22:48.500 There can't be a split decision there.

00:22:50.260 Your husband can't move and you stay there to take care of your aging parents. 0.95

00:22:54.460 Of course, as your husband is also called to love his wife as he loves himself, just as

00:23:01.140 Christ loves the church.

00:23:02.760 So in a very sacrificial way, he should take all of your concerns into very serious consideration.

00:23:09.080 Um, there should be no real big decision that he makes without, uh, considering the

00:23:15.260 interests of the wellbeing of the priorities of all the different members of his family.

00:23:21.000 But ultimately, he has to follow where God is leading and you have to follow where God

00:23:26.720 is leading your husband.

00:23:28.860 Um, Jesus makes very clear what marriage is in Matthew 19, four through five.

00:23:33.800 For this reason, a man will leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife. 0.86

00:23:38.820 That leaving and cleaving is something that we see in marriage.

00:23:42.840 Obviously, it is very important to honor your father and mother.

00:23:45.740 If I were you, I would feel the same way.

00:23:49.540 I would say, no, we are staying here.

00:23:52.080 My parents are aging.

00:23:53.540 They're deteriorating.

00:23:55.420 They, I don't know, again, your situation, but I don't have any siblings to take care of

00:23:59.260 them.

00:23:59.540 It's up to us.

00:24:00.820 We really, that's how I would feel.

00:24:02.600 I would say, look, the other opportunities can wait.

00:24:05.780 We've got these limited years with my parents.

00:24:08.120 They really need my help or move your parents with you, whatever it is.

00:24:12.980 But I understand, like, if that's your priority, that's your desire.

00:24:16.280 That's absolutely what I would want to do too.

00:24:19.160 But obviously, you can't force your husband to make a particular decision.

00:24:23.400 You can pray.

00:24:24.680 The prayer of the righteous person has great power.

00:24:27.220 You can pray that the Holy Spirit would lead your husband in a particular direction.

00:24:31.260 You can be very honest with your husband.

00:24:33.800 But ultimately, if you are married, you are one with your spouse and where he goes, you go

00:24:40.500 too.

00:24:40.780 So I don't really, I don't really think that that's a choice.

00:24:46.560 Should I move where my husband wants to move or prioritize my aging parents?

00:24:49.680 Look, if your husband moves, you have to move.

00:24:51.840 As hard as that might be.

00:24:53.120 Okay, will we see our miscarried babies in heaven and know them?

00:25:09.460 Even five weeks miscarried?

00:25:12.340 So we've talked about this question before.

00:25:14.460 I recommend some resources just because we don't have time to get into all of the theology

00:25:18.240 of this, but I recommend some resources by John Piper and John MacArthur.

00:25:22.240 Both John Piper and John MacArthur believe that, yes, these babies, whether they are aborted

00:25:30.660 babies, miscarried babies, that they will be in heaven.

00:25:34.760 And they cite lots of biblical evidence for why they believe that.

00:25:39.520 And you will get different answers on that.

00:25:42.480 And it's not a denial of the theological tenet of original sin.

00:25:49.580 But both of them explain very well why understanding the nature of God and some biblical references

00:25:55.320 leads us to believe that these babies will be in heaven.

00:25:58.260 I absolutely think, I think so.

00:26:00.380 And I think that you absolutely will recognize them and just understand, like, no matter how

00:26:05.760 many times you've miscarried, maybe you have never brought a baby to term, like you are 0.78

00:26:11.880 a mother.

00:26:12.560 You're a mother.

00:26:13.680 You have created life inside of you.

00:26:16.120 And whether you miscarried at five weeks, whether you had a stillborn baby that you never got

00:26:20.600 to bring home from the hospital, whether you had a complication at 20 weeks, whatever it

00:26:25.020 is, you are a mother to that child.

00:26:27.780 So maybe you have three children here on earth and you have other children that tragically

00:26:33.580 died in the womb or coming out of the womb.

00:26:36.580 You are still a mother to those children.

00:26:39.720 So just remember that.

00:26:41.060 I think that God is very gracious and very compassionate towards mothers and fathers who have lost their

00:26:47.280 children.

00:26:49.460 Let's see.

00:26:50.920 Let's see.

00:26:51.620 Let's see.

00:26:52.020 There's lots of, like, birth control and children-type questions.

00:26:56.880 Here's a question that doesn't have to do with any of that.

00:27:00.200 Do I think that they do?

00:27:02.980 Do you think that they will ever admit about the Hunter laptop?

00:27:08.100 So I'm going to just, like, read between the lines here and guess that you are talking

00:27:12.120 about, like, I don't know, they, the intelligence community, Democrats in Congress.

00:27:17.460 I don't think so.

00:27:19.560 Information has already trickled out about it, that it wasn't just this Russian conspiracy

00:27:23.460 theory, which is what the media told us in the beginning, but that, of course, it was

00:27:28.380 legitimate.

00:27:28.920 It was a totally legitimate news story.

00:27:30.720 New York Post, remember, they reported on it.

00:27:34.260 They got kicked off Twitter for a long time for reporting on it.

00:27:37.980 This was right before the election.

00:27:39.380 I would call that election interference, and it is completely legitimate.

00:27:45.000 And there are so many questions about Hunter Biden's laptop and the contents there that

00:27:48.620 we have not even begun to ask about or begun to discover.

00:27:55.000 So I don't know if they will ever admit anything.

00:27:57.680 Do I think Biden will ever admit anything?

00:27:59.620 No.

00:28:00.080 He is still proudly parading his son around.

00:28:02.420 It's actually amazing when you think about it.

00:28:05.460 Obviously, there is a different justice system for those kinds of people than there is for

00:28:10.100 the rest of us, and certainly Republicans versus Democrats.

00:28:13.000 So I wouldn't, I wouldn't hold your breath.

00:28:15.480 I wouldn't hold your breath when it, when it comes to that.

00:28:29.960 Okay, I'll do one more.

00:28:31.800 Another spicy one.

00:28:33.100 A birth control recommendation.

00:28:35.920 All right.

00:28:36.740 Depending on the age of your kids and what you've talked to them about, you may or may

00:28:40.120 not want them to listen to this.

00:28:41.980 So birth control recommendations.

00:28:43.420 We've talked about this before.

00:28:45.000 We've done a whole episode on birth control, what birth control pills are, what hormonal birth

00:28:50.360 control pills do.

00:28:51.840 I recommend going back and listening to that episode.

00:28:54.680 We can link it in the description so you can listen to it.

00:28:59.440 And I think that there is an ethical problem with all hormonal birth control, whether that's

00:29:04.040 an IUD, even if it's a copper IUD, which is not hormonal, and with a pill, because all

00:29:12.340 of it.

00:29:12.640 One, I think it interferes with how your body is supposed to function.

00:29:16.820 Your body is supposed to ovulate.

00:29:18.760 You're supposed to have a period.

00:29:20.440 These things are supposed to happen.

00:29:22.080 When we interfere with that process, that natural process, when we interfere with any kind of

00:29:27.060 natural process, there are probably going to be consequences for some people.

00:29:30.760 There aren't any real scene consequences or major consequences to that.

00:29:34.980 Maybe there's no long-term consequences.

00:29:36.580 I certainly know people who have been on hormonal birth control for a long time, and they were

00:29:40.880 able to get pregnant very quickly after they got off birth control.

00:29:44.240 Some people are not so fortunate.

00:29:46.160 There are a lot of repercussions, emotional repercussions that come with hormonal birth

00:29:50.560 control, but also physical repercussions, short-term and long-term, that come with birth control.

00:29:55.700 And one of the big problems with it is that we're not told that.

00:30:00.160 We're not told that when we're prescribed birth control.

00:30:02.100 So I was ridiculously prescribed birth control when I was in high school by a doctor who

00:30:08.240 I'm sure assumed that all of her teenage patients were sexually active, and I absolutely wasn't.

00:30:14.800 I think, and again, we're kind of getting a little graphic.

00:30:17.940 If the male members of my family are watching this, are listening to this, you probably just

00:30:23.220 want to turn it off.

00:30:23.940 You probably don't want to hear me talk about this.

00:30:25.700 But I think that I was like, I think my period was like 10 days late or something when I was

00:30:29.480 17 years old.

00:30:30.720 And she was like, oh, yeah, we definitely need to, we just need to go ahead and put you 0.71

00:30:35.280 put you on Yaz, which we now know Yaz is terrible for you. 0.98

00:30:38.480 They have like those commercials like, were you put on Yaz?

00:30:41.420 You have a right to compensation.

00:30:43.000 I'm like, oh, great.

00:30:44.220 I was put on Yaz when I was a teenager.

00:30:46.480 And because something totally normal happened to me, I had mono.

00:30:50.700 And then I was a little bit late for my period.

00:30:52.940 And then my doctor, who I'm sure just assumed I was lying about my sexual activity or my lack

00:30:57.800 of sexual activity, decided to put me on birth control.

00:31:01.380 And I stayed on it because I didn't know any different.

00:31:04.920 I stayed on it until I realized or I just thought about the fact.

00:31:08.320 I think, I don't know, it was probably seven or so years later.

00:31:13.860 No, it's probably a little bit less than that.

00:31:16.320 Maybe five or six years later that I was like, I don't need this.

00:31:19.780 There's no reason for me to take this.

00:31:21.540 I tried to get off of it a couple of times.

00:31:23.680 I started getting acne, which I had never had before.

00:31:26.060 Didn't like that.

00:31:26.820 So I went back on birth control, which is not a good reason.

00:31:29.620 And finally, I was like, you know what?

00:31:30.640 I feel like this is probably just not good for me.

00:31:32.720 I feel like it's also causing me to be really emotional every single month, like really emotional.

00:31:38.520 And that just doesn't feel good.

00:31:40.040 That doesn't feel right.

00:31:40.920 And so I did get off of it.

00:31:42.740 And it did cause acne for a little bit, but it was worth it.

00:31:45.700 It took like three to six months for everything to go back to normal.

00:31:49.080 And I haven't been on hormonal birth control since then.

00:31:52.400 And I didn't even think about the ethical problems with it when it comes to conception,

00:31:57.340 because that wasn't something that I was thinking about at the time.

00:32:00.100 That's not why I was taking birth control.

00:32:02.220 But now I know that birth control can kill a fertilized egg.

00:32:07.420 It can kill a fertilized egg.

00:32:09.020 Not saying that's what happens every month if you were sexually active and you were on the

00:32:13.660 pill, but it can.

00:32:15.000 So it can just make your womb inhospitable for that fertilized egg to implant. 1.00

00:32:20.620 So rather than it stopping ovulation, sometimes it doesn't stop ovulation.

00:32:25.200 Sometimes it doesn't stop fertilization.

00:32:27.500 Sometimes it just stops implantation.

00:32:30.560 So if we believe, as we do, that life begins at fertilization when sperm meets egg, I mean,

00:32:36.360 that's when unique human DNA comes into play.

00:32:40.860 Then it is possible for birth control to kill that tiny human being before that human being 0.69

00:32:46.940 implants.

00:32:47.420 It's the same thing with an IUD.

00:32:49.240 An IUD simply makes your womb inhospitable for that fertilized egg, should it fertilize, 0.99

00:32:58.740 which, like I said, could be possibly rare, to implant into the uterus.

00:33:03.920 And so there are ethical questions.

00:33:05.580 Does it end a human life?

00:33:08.120 That's something that you really need to consider.

00:33:10.820 I don't think, I know that there are plenty of people who do.

00:33:13.480 I don't think all other forms of birth control are immoral or unethical or sinful.

00:33:20.360 As we already talked about, like the number of children you have, I do believe that depending

00:33:24.580 on your motivations, that's up to freedom of conscience.

00:33:26.920 And so there are a variety of ways that don't put in danger or endanger a human being's life

00:33:38.300 that you can prevent pregnancy or try to prevent pregnancy.

00:33:42.240 Some people have great, great fortune.

00:33:46.680 I don't like to say the word luck.

00:33:47.880 Maybe fortune isn't right either.

00:33:50.100 Or they've had great success, I should say, with natural family planning.

00:33:54.440 I think that's totally possible.

00:33:56.360 I think that that is possible for some people.

00:33:58.580 I remember when I first got married, the midwife was like, yeah, natural family planning 0.83

00:34:03.040 is planning your family naturally, like you're going to get pregnant if you do natural family 0.98

00:34:08.960 planning.

00:34:09.340 But for some people, it totally works.

00:34:11.340 For some people, it doesn't.

00:34:12.340 You have to find what's right for you as long as, again, you're not crossing those boundaries

00:34:16.060 into sinfulness and into potentially ending that human life.

00:34:21.920 And again, assessing your motivations for why you are preventing pregnancy.

00:34:25.780 There are some good reasons to do so and some selfish reasons to do so.

00:34:30.800 All right.

00:34:31.340 I think that's all I have time for today.

00:34:32.960 We will be back here soon.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - November 21, 2023

Ep 911 ｜ How Many Kids Should Christians Have？｜ Q&A

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - November 21, 2023

Ep 911 ｜ How Many Kids Should Christians Have？ ｜ Q&A

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript

Ep 911 ｜ How Many Kids Should Christians Have？｜ Q&A