Ep 941 ｜ Conceived in Rape, Chosen by God ｜ Guest： Steventhen Holland
Episode Stats
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Summary
Conceived in rape and given up for adoption at seven days old, Stephen Thin Holland has an incredible testimony that points to God s faithfulness and his redemption. He s going to tell us of his story of adoption, of finding out how he was conceived, and who his mother is. And oh my goodness, you are going to shed so many tears, happy tears, and sad tears. But most of all, you re going to be encouraged as you are reminded of how good and how powerful God is.
Transcript
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Conceived in rape and given up for adoption at seven days old, Stephen Thin Holland has
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an incredible testimony that points to God's faithfulness and his redemption.
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He's going to tell us of his story of adoption, of finding out how he was conceived, how he
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And oh my goodness, you are going to shed so many tears, happy tears and sad tears.
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But most of all, you are going to be encouraged as you are reminded of how good and how powerful
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I'm so excited for you to hear Stephen Thin's story.
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This episode is brought to you by our friends at Good Ranchers.
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Stephen Thin, thanks so much for taking the time to join us.
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So I first saw your testimony in a live action Instagram post, and I thought, wow, this person,
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one, you're very compelling as you're sharing your testimony, but what an awesome story of
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So I just wanted to bring you here to get the extended version of your testimony.
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And most people don't go all the way back to their conception when they're talking about
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Well, it started as an eight-year-old little boy, you know, at school, I had some friends
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of mine make fun of me because of my skin color.
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And what they said was, you're weird and different.
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And I looked at my hand and I started thinking about my family and I'm like, hey, they're
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So I had this moment like, you know, why would they say that?
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It kind of hurt to be honest, but I come home and I'm sitting on the edge of the bed with
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So sitting on the edge of the bed with my mom that night as an eight-year-old little
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boy, I found out that I was actually adopted, but at seven days old, they brought me into
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I was on the same bottle of formula I left the hospital with.
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I was literally so weak that I couldn't suck a bottle.
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So this family, again, I always say that love goes deeper than color, deeper than DNA, deeper
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than blood, because I wasn't any of those things, you know, related to them, but they
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Just they saw me as their son and they took me in and this family literally squeezed milk
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Um, they, they literally would, uh, take my legs and, and stretch them out and massage
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This family literally, literally saved my life.
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Uh, because of, uh, well, we didn't know who my mom was at the time yet.
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Um, there was some speculation that she might have some mental, uh, challenges.
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Um, so I literally, again, seven days old, but I was on the bottle that I left the hospital
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So, um, you know, and I, and, um, so it, it's, it's crazy.
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They, um, they, they teased that when I was little, that I was like a little bulldog because
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my legs early on, because of that, um, malnourishment, um, my leg, you know, I had, I walked bow
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That's all I know that your, your adoptive parents said, okay, yeah, this is why you
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Here's what it looked like when you first came to us.
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But at that point, I'm guessing that's about all they told you.
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And, uh, what I, what I did get was I got eight pages of typewriter paperwork from 1982.
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At least that's the date they decided to go with.
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There was even some speculation on that, you know, a few days, but I had, um, I say it's a gift
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that I was receiving that I didn't know I was getting, uh, at the time it was just a
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three ring binder with eight pages of typewriter paperwork.
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And it had my birth mom's name, Glenda Sue Holt.
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And then it had broken family history, uh, of her family that, that she had given human
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services when she dropped me off at seven days old.
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So once the family officially adopted me, they, all those records came to them for me.
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So I'm receiving that as well at eight years old.
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And do you remember your reaction or your emotional response when you were eight and you learned
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Um, that's the first time in my life I ever remember being broken.
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Um, you know, to think about that's the first time in my life I ever remember asking God,
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why, like, why do I have to be the wrong color?
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Um, you know, why did my mom not give birth to me?
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And, but the biggest why question was why would my mother, my birth mom not want me, you know?
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Um, that's a lot for an eight year old to think about.
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And, uh, so honestly I was broken, you know, I cried a lot.
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I was frustrated, but at the same time, you know, confused because I knew I was loved in
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this family, you know, even though they're my adopted family, they love, they've loved
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me so well, you know, it quickly, you know, the, the pain quickly turned into like, okay,
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And it comes back to, I tease when I speak, you know, nationally and publicly, I had a drug
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problem growing up, you know, I was drugging and drug out of every church service known to
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I don't know who can relate to that out there, but every time the church doors are
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So my family, my mom's side of the family adopted side, uh, had a gospel quartet and
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So I had literally had the word of, of God poured into my life and I knew of Jesus, but
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in the middle of that little broken eight-year-old, uh, eight-year-old's heart, I actually came
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to know Christ in the middle of that pain and that brokenness at a church service.
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We, you know, we still have, we call them revivals in the South, but I grew up in the Tennessee,
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Chattanooga area and, uh, we were having a revival, uh, a weekly revival.
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And in the middle of that week, I just, again, sitting, sitting there with my family and hearing
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I don't remember really any of that other than I just needed Jesus.
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And I'd heard my whole life that, you know, he's a comforter, he's a provider, he's a protector,
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And I needed, I needed somebody to take that pain, you know?
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So I came running in the middle of the service.
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So I, you know, I'm big on, I think pain has purpose.
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If, if we can look hard enough, you know, that, um, that's the kind of God we serve, right?
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Tell me, uh, when you learned the extent of, um, your kind of conception story and who
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Well, I carried that why question for a long time, you know?
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So like for middle school, high school, I, I tried to mask that in sports.
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So I was earthquake in middle school, freight train in high school.
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You know, I, I tried to, you know, to like, you know, that great, uh, quote that says,
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you know, uh, Jesus plus nothing equals everything.
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But I was trying to put something, you know, like sports or relationships.
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Um, so I, uh, I actually get to college, uh, make it, make it, I made it to college and
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I, uh, I played baseball in college, majored in youth ministry.
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And, uh, I think my, my sole purpose in being in college was to find my wife.
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She was a volleyball player from Tampa, Florida.
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We start talking about what it would be like to have a family.
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Like, do we want to have kids and how many do we want to have and how early do you want
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So we get married in Tampa, Florida, her hometown in June of 2006.
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And we start, you know, to have a family, we try to have a family early.
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My wife had gotten pregnant with our first and eight weeks into the pregnancy.
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I went to church on a Sunday and I came back to her, um, just in the fetal position in our
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And, uh, here I find myself, my wife and I asking God the same question that little
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eight year old boy was asking God, why this pain, we didn't sign up for this and we just
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So we, we lose our, our eight week old, our first pregnancy.
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Then we have, uh, Isabella, who's our 16 year old.
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I have three daughters, by the way, uh, our oldest Isabella, she's 16.
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And so we had her and then our third pregnancy, 10 weeks in, uh, my wife just wasn't feeling
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She knew that motherly instinct, something's not right.
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So we went to the hospital or to the doctor and, uh, we had an ultrasound.
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So our third pregnancy, our 10 week old, we lost as well.
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Um, I still don't know medical history, but so at 27 at this time, or when we lost our
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second baby or, or this, uh, miscarriage, um, I didn't know medical history.
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And I, what the enemy started doing in me was it's your fault because if, if you knew your
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If you, uh, maybe there's generational curses or I was just thinking all these things,
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And if I just knew the medical history, I could save my babies.
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But I'm a middle school pastor, Wednesday nights, a hundred plus middle schoolers, you
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know, and trying to, I talk to pastors all the time that it's okay to hurt.
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Um, you know, I was young, you know, student pastor and I thought I had to have it all together.
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And you felt like you couldn't be having a crisis of faith or you couldn't be questioning
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Cause then people wouldn't think that you're qualified to be a pastor.
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I go back to that little eight year old boy, right in the middle of the pain, here comes
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Jesus, you know, and I was sitting in a 975 square foot apartment in Tampa, Florida.
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We're actually pregnant with our four, the fourth pregnancy now, which is our 13 year
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And then we had, I'll go ahead and say we have cadence, our 10 year old daughter.
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My wife's pregnant with Eliana, our second daughter.
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And, uh, the Holy spirit just, just moved on my heart, uh, in a way that I've never had
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happened since and what I heard was it's time and I'm like, Lord, it's time for what?
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And I went into praying and fasting and he said, it's time to look for your mom.
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I mean, from eight years old to 27, you know how many times, like I thought about seeking
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Like I would get this close, you know, and I had, I had permission and, and, um, you
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If I ever wanted to do that, which is a huge thing, you know, I wanted to honor them.
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And so I called them and asked them, I said, is it okay to look?
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So I had that eight pages of typewriter paperwork from 1982 and I had Google.
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So I started searching and three days into the search, uh, I was doing name searches.
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I came across this man named Steve Holt, a website.
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He's a magician and ventriloquist from Spartanburg, South Carolina.
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And I know you don't know me out, but I don't like clowns.
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So, I mean, this guy's like got videos of him, like sawing bodies in half and, you know,
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Like those wood, you know, their eyeballs, they are, you know, I don't, so anyways, I
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got past that because something said, click on his bio and I clicked on his bio and literally
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I'm looking at my paperwork from 1982 and it all matches.
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So I'm like, okay, you know, it's gotta be family.
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So I sent him an email and it said, Hey, I think I'm your long lost nephew.
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And that's why I gave him because, you know, he could be a serial killer or, you know, I
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No, I did not want to tell him anything, but he emails me back.
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And then about two months later, I jump on a plane, fly to Spartanburg, South Carolina.
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Um, well, I know that his wife, my aunt Vicky said that he reads this email and literally
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falls out of his chair, you know, and, and, but he, he writes me back and just says, you
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Uh, I would love to meet you, you know, things like that.
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It was actually a very good response, a positive.
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So I felt, you know, uh, good about flying up and meeting him.
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Um, so we spend two days, you know, I'm standing, I mean, we meet and I'm in his living room.
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You talk about two grown men, just hugging and weeping.
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And because what he told me was, is in their family dynamic, there were, uh, six children.
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So he was one of six, their parents had died at an early age and his five, the five siblings
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that he has, they were all mentally handicapped, uh, in different ways.
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Like, um, so he has a brother, uh, that literally has been, it was institutionalized from 18 months
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old, um, you know, to my mom being an 11, functioning as an 11 year old mentally.
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So, and he was the only one out of the six that was considered normal.
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Um, I actually, I don't remember where he falls in the story.
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I know my mom was the youngest, um, but he, but he basically, he cared for them because
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Cause I was born in 82 and, and, uh, and she was actually 18.
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So just, I'm a big advocate for foster care and adoption.
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You know, uh, that's my story, but these children, because of nobody wanted them, you know, so
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they were, they were in orphanages literally, you know, for most of their adolescent years
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Um, my mom at 18, when she aged out, she became a ward of the state of Georgia.
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And so it's not like she could just go to college or get a job.
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So no, no parents, you know, no family to care for, for her.
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So the state took over and, uh, they placed her in a mental institution.
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And, uh, one evening, um, it was, we don't believe it was workers.
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She, they, they set her up with kind of a work program because she could function some,
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you know, to work, like to safely walk a short distance, like potentially work, you know,
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kind of like a little job that she could have some independence.
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Uh, but one evening on her way home, she was actually raped by five men.
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She didn't, as far as you know, she didn't know these people.
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Um, so we don't know who we still, to this day, don't know who, who the men were.
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Um, but so again, think about she's 18 physically, but mentally she's only a child.
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You know, has anything ever, you know, has she been exposed to anything like that?
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And how did you, so I guess your uncle somehow learned of everything that happened.
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Well, they found out they, the, obviously she, she didn't tell anybody that it happened.
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And so when they do find, they find out the staff, find out that she's pregnant because
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she's showing, you know, uh, that's how long, you know, it took for people to find this
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So, I mean, the, you know, she tells the story.
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So, I mean, it's her account, you know, of what happened to her.
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Just as she was attacked by five men when she was walking home.
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Um, so what do you, what do you think that they're telling her to do?
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I'm sure that they're trying to pressure her to do that.
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Uh, they're literally pressuring her every day to get rid of her baby.
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You know, she said even with 11 year old mental capacity, 18 years old, she said, my baby's
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So, so to fight for me and save my life, she actually ran away from the facility.
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Um, but, uh, the last time my uncle, uh, had, had, I guess, seen me, he didn't really see
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She actually came to him for help and, uh, he cared for, for she and I for about a week
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So he didn't know what happened from 1982 to 1992, he reconnected with her.
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And here I am, 27 year old man standing in his living room.
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So not, you know, he didn't meet me, meet me, but I was in his presence.
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And so, I mean, I don't know how else to explain that beyond just the Holy Spirit convicted
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He can communicate to and through anyone just convicted her to fight for you and to
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When really you would think with an 11 year old, you know, mental capacity that she would
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have just complied with what the people told her to do, but she knew that I'm going to fight
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Well, we know that she made it to a women's shelter in Chattanooga.
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Tennessee, which from where things happened, it was about two hours.
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She was in the Atlanta area, like Rome, Georgia area.
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So she made it to Chattanooga, was there for a little while.
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But then by the end of the pregnancy, she's nine months pregnant and she's living on the
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So she's actually in a cardboard box behind this little grocery store in this little small
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And it's if the people, if you're from there, they say, well, so it's a mining town like
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Chattanooga is, you know, over here, there's a mountain, then Whitwell's in the valley.
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So it's literally tucked in two mountains and she's living in this box behind the store
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and a 16 year old boy named Bobby came around the skipping school, came around the back of
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the store and sees the box move, pulls it back.
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And here she is, 18 years old, nine months pregnant.
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He takes her home to his family, like walks her home and walks in the door, you know,
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16 years old, walks in the door with an 18 year old, nine month pregnant woman.
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And it's like, hey, I found her in this box behind the store.
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And that, you know, to me as a parent, you know, a parent, a 16 year old young man walks
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in with an 18 year old, nine month pregnant woman.
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And they took us in, cared for us for like two weeks.
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And then she gave birth to me in Chattanooga, Tennessee, at Erlinger Hospital, they said on
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And so everybody always like, who, you know, how did you get the name Steven then?
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Well, this mentally challenged 18 year old woman, 11 year old capacity said, I want my
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So Steven was her brother, my uncle, who I'm standing in his living room.
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So what we, what we think, you know, she probably didn't speak very well, articulate very well.
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So they're asking her like, what, you know, you want to name him what?
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So as I think I'm the only one in the world that we know of right now.
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So I'm finding all this out at 27 standing in his living room, but then.
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He, um, I thought I said something wrong, you know, and he, he just says, you know,
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I had to meet you and look you in the eyes and see what kind of man you were before I
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And what the Holy Spirit had spoke to me a couple months before I got to fly up there
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I wanted to go that night, you know, let's, let's go.
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So, um, but we drove five hours South to a little town called Jeffersonville, Georgia,
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where my mom was staying in another mental institution, like a nursing home.
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And my uncle was like, Hey, let's do a magic show.
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I'm going to do a show for the residents because that way, because again, I mean, I'm 27, she's
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So you're about to meet, you know, we're about to drop a bomb in her life, you know, 27 year
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Um, and that's like such a tough dynamic for you to be in some way older than your
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Um, so I, I got to spend two hours just interacting with her.
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Like she didn't know who I was, but I knew who she was.
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What was it like when you saw her for the first time?
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It was like trying to hold back a flood, you know, 27 years of tears.
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Well, eight, you know, whatever the math is, um, you know, just trying to hold back just
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thankfulness, um, because I, all I needed, I mean, my God's faithful.
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I know my identity and my worth is, I didn't have to meet her, you know, but for me to have
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the opportunity to meet her, I just wanted to tell her I loved her and thank you for giving
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And if I, if that's all I got, I was okay with that.
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So, you know, it was, I was dying to just tell her, you know, but we were trying to ease
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Like I'm your, I'm your brother's friend, Steven, you know, we didn't, we didn't, um,
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you know, give the full name cause she named me that we didn't want to give it away.
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So anyways, he does this magic show and I mean, you know, these people are like schizophrenics
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and, you know, bipolar and he's saw it putting ropes through people's bodies.
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And it was really, I'm just, I've got to set the scene because, you know, it was very
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It's not the scene that maybe like, uh, Hollywood would have painted for this like grand reunion.
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There's like this crazy magic show and these residents who have got a lot going on themselves.
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And in the midst of all of that, you're seeing your mother for the first time.
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And so we were going to go to her room and do this private encounter, um, because we didn't
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know how she would take it, but she'd been singing songs all day and I'm a singer, worship
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I'm working a camera, like we hadn't planned to film it, but we were just kind of filming
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his magic show just to kind of capture the moments.
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And she gets through singing and I just felt led to come sing amazing grace.
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And I come up and the camera's still rolling and my uncle standing in between us and I start
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singing amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved.
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And when I hit that word saved, it was like, not just a salvation, you know, moment, but
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a, this woman I'm looking at in the eyes saved my life and I lost it.
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And she hasn't sang on pitch or key all day long.
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And she looks at me and she just finishes the whole verse like perfectly.
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And, uh, just, and, and this is a, you know, this is on YouTube.
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We have a video that people can, uh, we decided to make it public, uh, a few years ago just
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for, you know, it's just too good for God's faithfulness, his goodness, you know, not to
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So I'm getting to meet, uh, you know, he, he, in that moment after we did that, he was
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like, we weren't going to do it this way, but basically here's your son, you know, and
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she just embraced me and said that she loved me and she would have never given me up if
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I didn't, I didn't have to have them, but God gave me a lot of closure that I didn't
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So she had the ability to have a conversation with you about it.
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And, um, you know, I am worth it and she did love me, you know?
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Um, and then I'd also made her a photo album that was really special to me.
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It was the first picture they ever had of me and to, you know, and I filled it up with
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pictures over the years because she held onto a picture for like 18 years.
00:26:51.600
That wasn't her, wasn't me that she thought was her baby.
00:26:54.860
So I was able to bless her with this photo album.
00:27:07.840
My girls would bring coloring books and, um, baby dolls and play with my mom.
00:27:15.300
You know, they were like sisters when they get together, you know, like coloring or playing.
00:27:18.920
Um, but even though that was beautiful, it was also painful because, uh, she's a word
00:27:26.640
They would move her from, you know, whatever the cheapest place was kind of under, you
00:27:31.240
know, sadly they're understaffed, over medicated.
00:27:33.540
And, um, but she, even with all that, and even though it was hard on my girls, we took
00:27:40.800
It was hard on them to be in those places, but my mom deserved respect.
00:27:53.160
Um, so then she, uh, she actually passed away on Thanksgiving of 2020.
00:27:59.280
She choked on a sandwich, uh, in the facility that she was in.
00:28:03.720
So, yeah, she was in a wheelchair and, you know, they, it's something that obviously they,
00:28:08.920
you know, uh, it was very, just a tragic, tragic accident.
00:28:12.900
But, um, you know, here I am asking God why again, right?
00:28:17.140
Um, but, um, you know, this beauty that comes out of pain.
00:28:22.480
And by that time I had been sharing our story quite a bit and probably 200,000 people or
00:28:28.720
so I've shared, you know, just doing a lot of pregnancy center fundraisers and, and, uh,
00:28:35.860
And when it hit social media, you know, shared about her, her death, I started getting floods
00:28:46.920
And, um, so I have this beautiful, um, mandate calling.
00:28:56.400
She fought for me and, uh, I'm thankful for that.
00:28:59.520
And, and what do you think when you hear these conversations and debates that go on in the
00:29:17.720
political realm, on social media, uh, when you hear, well, the compact, like you're basically
00:29:26.780
Even if someone is pro-life, they'll say, well, but if they heard of the case of your mom,
00:29:31.780
they would say the empathetic thing to do, the compassionate thing to do would be absolutely
00:29:37.600
They would say, sure, maybe I'm pro-life, but rape, incest, if the mother, you know, has
00:29:48.800
That's kind of the narrative that you hear sometimes on the left and the right.
00:29:52.580
I imagine just being who you are and having your testimony.
00:29:56.240
It's hard to hear those conversations in that tone.
00:30:04.260
You know, we, I can sit here and say, well, you know, I don't take it.
00:30:06.800
Well, it, it, it kind of is, you know, um, I'm a, um, I'm a lover of people.
00:30:13.500
I'm, I'm, if that makes sense, uh, what I'm trying to say there, I, I try, um, I'm going
00:30:19.400
to respect your position and where you stand, but that still doesn't mean that I can't have
00:30:24.680
Um, and I, I think that for me, uh, the way I fight that is I share my story, right?
00:30:33.140
I have worth that wasn't dictated by how I was conceived.
00:30:38.580
And, and the, uh, and I think we say, you know, in the exception world, it's, it's, you know,
00:30:43.600
the sins of the father shouldn't be passed on to the, onto the child, you know?
00:30:48.140
Um, and, and I, I used to, I used to say, um, man, I wish to be a child.
00:30:55.080
You know, like if I could trade places with her, I mean, you know, I don't, I don't want
00:30:59.760
I mean, that was horrible and terrible, but then there's this other side I had to think
00:31:03.920
about, like, but God had this, you know, God worked in the middle of all that pain and
00:31:12.000
And I have three beautiful daughters, you know, that are 16, 13, and 10.
00:31:15.920
They love Jesus and they lead worship and they write songs.
00:31:19.480
Um, yeah, what Satan means for evil, God uses for good.
00:31:29.220
I mean, when you think about the story that that verse is in that Joseph think about, it's
00:31:35.220
hard to think about things more tragic than one, what your mom went through, but also the
00:31:40.760
I mean, imagine being sold into slavery by your own brothers.
00:31:46.120
You're the youngest of the family and your brothers take you, they throw you into a pit.
00:31:52.720
Like what is more evil and more wicked than that?
00:31:58.640
And then God uses that evil, that wickedness to save his own people from famine.
00:32:06.140
And I just think of, I think of that when I think of your story, that what was so evil,
00:32:11.340
a woman being raped, a special needs woman being raped, that God used that evil to then
00:32:19.080
multiply his kingdom so that you can sit here, share your testimony, testify to the power
00:32:24.860
and the love and the grace and the redemption of the Lord and your daughters get to do the
00:32:30.520
Well, and I, and I look at, I mean, there's been moments where I've been able to share
00:32:34.280
at a fundraising event and I had a table, a small group of women at their church that
00:32:38.980
was struggling with that, you know, the exception, you know, rape and incest.
00:32:42.920
And like, they kind of came with, Hey, we're here.
00:32:46.460
We lean towards the other, you know, the other side of an agreement with rape and, you know,
00:32:52.780
And then after, you know, I got to share my story where we're, you know, they're surrounding
00:32:58.180
And it's like, you, you've changed our hearts, you know, you changed our minds.
00:33:08.000
And I, God's given me, that's just one, but so many conversations.
00:33:14.140
Um, and for me, uh, it's just being faithful to share the story, um, and let God handle the
00:33:21.420
But I had a 12 year old Hispanic young girl that had actually been raped by her uncle
00:33:26.940
and had actually heard me share my story at a, I was, I was there to lead worship at
00:33:31.460
a camp and I wasn't even supposed to share my story, but God opened the door for me to
00:33:36.600
And she actually went against the wishes of her parents to choose life.
00:33:45.440
I was leading worship at a church and this family came in place, that baby in my arms.
00:33:53.600
And then this young woman got adopted by another family, another church family, the little girl.
00:33:58.440
So I got to meet her at 13 and she's crying and she says, how do I know that my son going
00:34:04.020
to know that I love him because I gave him away.
00:34:08.800
I said, you're one of the strongest women on the planet, you know, to give birth to your
00:34:17.780
You loved him so much that you, you wanted to place him in a place that he could be loved
00:34:24.680
And one day I hope maybe that he'll have the chance like I did, you know, to look my mom
00:34:33.540
I just, again, those are just those little moments where I call, you know, nuggets, God
00:34:39.780
It's like, Hey, you know, this is part of your purpose.
00:34:43.240
I truly believe that's part of my purpose is to continue to share my story.
00:34:48.620
And I know that this is, it's painful, but because all of us have this, I think just
00:34:54.920
natural drive to know whose we are, where we come from, even just physically, obviously
00:35:01.080
But have you ever wondered like who your, who your father is and what happened to those
00:35:11.220
I've, um, I've had moments where I've thought, thought about that.
00:35:15.800
Um, even recently I've had people ask me, you know, do you not want justice for your
00:35:21.780
And it's not that I don't want justice for my mom, but I don't, I go by the direction
00:35:26.940
of the Lord, you know, and I haven't felt in my heart that he's, you know, called me to
00:35:32.960
Um, I'm not saying that it won't happen one day, but right now I feel like he's redeemed
00:35:39.040
and restored all the evil by what, you know, with my mom's life and what I'm able to do
00:35:48.480
Um, I've even had somebody, I mean, we're, we're being honest here.
00:35:52.520
I've had somebody ask me like, you know, what if he's not a believer, you know, this person
00:36:01.300
I'm wrestling with that right now, you know, on, um, cause I hadn't thought, I hadn't thought
00:36:06.500
about it in that way before, you know, I, I'd put my focus more on my mom and our story
00:36:15.000
Um, I don't hate my, I don't hate my dad, uh, my father, my birth father.
00:36:25.660
You know, I think that those bitterness and, you know, hold root and, and, um, can keep
00:36:30.980
us, you know, um, held in chains, I guess is the best way.
00:36:37.360
Um, but, but two, I think one of the biggest reasons that I've never really, I've thought
00:36:43.140
about it, but it hasn't been a deep longing pursuit to find my father's because I had one
00:36:47.600
of the best fathers, uh, earthly fathers that I could have had.
00:36:50.560
Um, my dad, I've got a picture in my book on page 36 that I, that's a treasure to me.
00:36:57.920
I thought he was black most of my life, but he was not, he was white because he would come
00:37:01.800
in covered in coal and he would clean himself and he would sleep shirtless.
00:37:05.980
And from the first day they brought me home, he would hold me on his chest and sleep with
00:37:12.920
It's a treasure because, uh, he, he died of Alzheimer's.
00:37:16.340
He passed away on August 19th of 2014 and I got to hold him on his way out.
00:37:22.700
Like he held me on my way in and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
00:37:26.660
So, uh, I mean, he was a hard nose country man.
00:37:31.660
You know, when they tried to remove me, actually at six months old, the state of Tennessee tried
00:37:36.120
to remove me from the home because of my, my skin color.
00:37:39.040
Um, so being a biracial child in the South, they felt like I would be better placed in a
00:37:44.440
biracial home, mixed race home or an African American home.
00:37:48.180
And my dad put a shotgun by the back door or the front door and said, you can come in,
00:37:53.780
I'm not saying that's the best way to handle it legally.
00:38:11.900
So I have four, uh, I have four siblings adopted, my adopted siblings.
00:38:19.240
I have Ricky, Rod, Renee and Robin, and then there's Steven then.
00:38:24.340
And you would have thought, you know, eight years of like, why is my name different?
00:38:28.640
Like, I just never, they just love me, you know?
00:38:31.820
Um, and I've always been a part of the family and, um, I teared up.
00:38:36.180
Actually flying here, uh, to do the show, like talking to my mom and my sister on a call,
00:38:41.120
just thanking them for just loving me, you know, and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't
00:38:53.780
Well, there's so much in your story that flies against, uh, flies in the face of common narratives
00:38:59.200
of today that, uh, you know, a Southern Tennessee white coal mining family took in a little biracial
00:39:09.200
boy and you having to deal with everything that came with being biracial in the South
00:39:16.080
and this time and being bullied because of that.
00:39:19.260
Gosh, there's just a lot of complexity and a lot of layers to your story.
00:39:22.980
Well, I think a really beautiful thing too, for me is I still to this day.
00:39:26.820
So when the state tried to remove me from the home, um, not only did my family fight
00:39:31.260
for me, but I have, uh, a folder, a Manila, uh, envelope that has about 200 and over 250
00:39:39.280
petition letters that this community, um, which racism still existed, you know, and is 82, um,
00:39:48.600
And they still rallied behind this family to keep this biracial child in the home.
00:39:54.000
Like if it wouldn't have been for them, you know, their voice and them writing letters
00:39:57.880
And it even went over beyond state lines, actually some of the letters, but, uh, that
00:40:02.740
just, I think that's, again, like when I get an opportunity to share it, fundraising events
00:40:06.880
and things like that, I share that because this community decided, you know, Sarah and Burke
00:40:11.820
says the only thing necessary for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing.
00:40:18.300
And the love of Christ transcends, transcends skin color, transcends norms.
00:40:24.000
And it also just goes to show that history in the world isn't as figuratively and literally
00:40:30.800
black and white as we kind of make it out to be that, okay, everyone in the South that
00:40:36.380
was white was racist or whatever it is in either direction.
00:40:41.280
And like human beings, history, the history of a country, the history of us as people,
00:40:50.100
There are a lot of layers and the through line is God's faithfulness.
00:40:53.580
And I think that your story is such a great example of that.
00:40:57.160
Is there any just kind of like final message that you would speak to someone who is either
00:41:15.140
in your situation or who has an unexpected pregnancy or just wants to know the gospel?
00:41:21.520
Well, I think, you know, for us, um, universal message is that you're not alone, right?
00:41:29.700
Um, you know, whether you're someone who's struggling to know your purpose and, you know,
00:41:38.200
I love, uh, second Corinthians four, eight and nine.
00:41:40.980
It talks about how, you know, we're hard pressed, we're crushed and all those things.
00:41:44.260
But my favorite one is, you know, you're, you're never abandoned.
00:41:48.400
You may, you know, you're, uh, in struck down, but not destroyed.
00:41:55.640
But I think, um, that you're never, you're not alone.
00:41:58.960
So if you're, if you're someone who's, um, you know, an unexpected pregnancy and looking
00:42:03.400
for help, there's beautiful organizations that I've been blessed.
00:42:06.280
I've been in 39 States now, you know, and I know that, um, you know, every single one of
00:42:17.460
So just to know that there is help and there is support, um, to look for your local pregnancy
00:42:22.660
resource center, I think would be a great place, but also to the church, you know, like
00:42:26.120
for the gospel, like when my mom died, I was struggling with why did she have to die alone?
00:42:32.100
Um, and God quickly reminded me, you know, after a week or so of, uh, grieving and crying and
00:42:43.420
So we, I think that's, I think for me, that's, I think a lot of people, if we can just realize
00:42:48.660
that God does have a plan for your life, he's created you for a purpose, you know, on purpose
00:42:53.300
with purpose and, uh, and he's there, you know, and he truly loves you.
00:42:57.880
And there's people like me that, uh, you know, if I can help in any way, I mean, there's a
00:43:02.740
lot of us out there in, in the faith-based world.
00:43:05.880
And where can people find you if they want to connect with you?
00:43:08.920
The beautiful thing is, I'll bet I'm the only Stevenson in the world.
00:43:12.000
So, uh, I don't have to worry about SEO or too much, uh, but steventon.com.
00:43:18.500
Uh, so Steve, Stevenson Holland is my last name.
00:43:21.300
So if you Google me, um, you know, videos and, and I'm, again, I'm a singer songwriter.
00:43:30.560
Um, and then, uh, my nonprofit broken, not dead ministries.
00:43:35.400
So broken, not dead.com is also a good place to track me down.
00:43:39.320
Well, Stevenson, thank you so much for taking the time to share.
00:43:42.000
Testimony and may God bless you and your sweet girls and your family.