Ep 98 ｜ Husband Q & A
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Summary
Timothy and I talk about how we met and how we became a couple. We also talk about the controversy surrounding the new movie "Unplanned" and why you should definitely see it. We also answer some of your relationship questions.
Transcript
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Hello, relatable listeners. I am here with my husband, Timothy, and we are answering
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your relationship questions. We got so many relationship questions. We're probably not
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going to be able to get through all of them. We'll try, but I don't know.
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I don't think we're going to, but before we get started, I do want to talk to you guys about
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Unplanned. Now, I know a lot of you have probably already seen the movie. If you haven't, you have
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to go do that. You've probably already heard about the controversy that is surrounding it.
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They're looking at, a lot of people are looking at the MPAAs. Do you say that? I don't know if you
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say it like that. MPAA, MPAA. They're looking at the R rating that was given to the movie, and they're
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saying, okay, well, maybe I shouldn't go to the movie because, you know, I'm a Christian, so it's
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R rated. They're kind of worried that maybe the R rating is going to steer away young people,
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but I really encourage you to go see it. Now, it is a little bit disturbing. It's hard to watch.
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I spontaneously burst into tears, but it's really good to see the reality of abortion.
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Abby Johnson, the person who the movie is about, she had two abortions. She worked for Planned
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Parenthood. She was a staunch supporter of abortion. Even her mother and her husband
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couldn't change her mind. They couldn't get her to think differently about it. So while she was at
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Planned Parenthood, she rose so quickly throughout the ranks that she became director of the Planned
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Parenthood clinic where she worked. But one day she was asked to go in and actually assist with an
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abortion procedure, and she saw for the first time what goes on. I mean, that's kind of crazy to think
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about. She was already director of this clinic, but she didn't know what really went on. But she saw
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what went on in abortion, and she walked out completely changed. Like, it totally changed her
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perspective. So this movie is that story. It gives, this is a quote, it gives an eye-opening look
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inside the abortion industry from a woman who was once its most passionate advocate.
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So if you guys want to see that, or just learn more about it, go to unplannedfilm.com.
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Unplannedfilm.com. It is playing right now. I promise you that if you're anything like me,
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you are not going to leave the theater the same way that you came in. And so make sure that you go
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check that out. Okay. So now we are going to answer some of these questions. Are you ready?
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Well, some of them I think are going to be easier than others. And what you'll probably figure out
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about our personalities is that one way that we compliment each other is that I talk a lot.
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And I'm a little less talkative, but I'll try to make sure I can talk a little bit more,
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He has really good insight. And so I'm going to give him the floor as much as he wants the floor.
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If you don't want the floor, you can just let me know.
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Yeah, that's fine. I appreciate it. But we all know what we're here for.
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Yeah. Okay. Well, first I think we should start by telling people, because I got a few questions
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about this, how we met. I've shared this story on the podcast before, but I think it's important
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to set up this context for people who don't know. Or maybe you should tell a little bit
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So I am from Georgia originally. Georgia boy. Lived there my whole life until two years ago,
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whenever we decided to uproot and move over to Texas. Love it in Texas. It's great here.
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Yeah. Small town in Georgia. Small town there. And went to school a couple hours north of where
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I lived at the University of Georgia in Athens, where we met. And that'll be a part of our story.
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It is a part of our story. After school, worked there for a little bit. Got a job out in Texas.
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Moved out here with my Texas girl. And so, yeah.
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So when we both lived in Athens, we obviously didn't know each other, because I went to school
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at Furman in Greenville, which is about an hour and a half away, a little bit more,
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from Athens. And I got a job at a PR firm there. And so I was working. You were selling
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mortgages in Athens. And I just happened, I think it was like probably in August of 2014,
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I found out about this gym called Tribe that was like a pseudo CrossFit gym. Is that how
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Yeah, I was. I'd been working out there for a little bit. Really enjoyed it. Loved the owners.
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They were great people. I would say that they were just a good part of our lives in general.
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Yeah. And so that's kind of probably why I was attracted to this gym. I had never really
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done CrossFit a little bit, but I just decided to go. And it was after like a few weeks of
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being there that I noticed him. Honestly, to be perfectly honest, not in a way that was
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like, oh my gosh, who is that person? Not that I didn't have that reaction, but it wasn't
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one of those things where it's like, oh my gosh, I know that's my future husband. It
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wasn't like love at first sight. Actually, the first time I saw him, I was in a class.
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He never worked out with the classes. He was like way too cool for that.
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Yeah. And then we just started talking in classes. You started coming to the classes, which
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I kind of thought was intentional. I thought it was purposeful that he started coming to
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the classes and then he would, I don't know, you just kind of started talking to me just
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Yeah, definitely. I was a little bit nervous to be talking to another girl again, but I
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was excited and I was like, hey, she looks awesome. Like she's cool. She's fun to be
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around. She was talking in the classes to everyone, really nice person. So I got to talk to her
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a little bit. So I tried to flirt a little bit.
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Yeah, it worked. I actually remember the first time that I was like, oh, I'm going to like,
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this is my move. I'm going to make a move. Was when I remembered, he told me, he must've
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just said it in passing in class, like, oh, it's my birthday or something like that. But
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I didn't say anything. And then the Monday after his birthday, I remember he had told
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me that he went home to celebrate his 24th birthday.
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Yeah, 24th at that point. And when he came into the gym the Monday after, I wished him happy
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birthday. And I was like, oh, he's going to know that I remembered our conversations
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It was impressive. It did work. I was like, wow, it was my birthday. I barely mentioned
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I logged away. That was my move. And from there, so we were talking in classes, but then
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And you would just kind of like walk me to my car.
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We just happened to leave at the same exact time.
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And you happened to start going to all of the same classes that I was going to.
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Yeah, like if you just happened to be talking to someone else and it was taking you a long
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time to leave, you know, I just felt like I probably just, by coincidence, needed to
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Yeah, yeah. And then by the time you were starting to walk out, I was like, oh, yeah,
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It just happened to be like that. So coincidentally, we would walk out the door at the exact same
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time and we would talk outside of my car, not even in my car, because it
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was still like, it was warm outside and so we would talk.
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But eventually, the like five minute conversations, and he like, he didn't, he wasn't asking me
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for my number. He didn't have my number. We weren't texting. He didn't ask me on a date
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because you would, I mean, you had just gotten out of a relationship. And so we were just
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talking, but eventually the conversations just got longer and longer. So after like a probably
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couple weeks of talking outside my car, one day we talked for like four hours from like
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Yeah. And we just like, just couldn't stop talking. Just shirking all of the responsibilities.
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Just work out real hard, skip dinner and talk for four hours in a parking lot.
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And I didn't even think of it. And I don't even really know what we talked about.
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It was a mix of a lot of things, you know, your love of Backstreet Boys, your love of C.S. Lewis.
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We talked a lot of small things, definitely not like intellectual things always, but then
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we would talk about theology. You would share all of your opinions, a lot of the same things
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And it was, it was really what made me fall in love with just the fact that, hey, this
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girl is different. She could really articulate a lot of, a lot of things.
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Yeah. And he was just so easy. He was so easy for me to talk to. And after about a couple
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weeks of us just talking outside my car again, him not asking for my number. And I don't even
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remember caring, honestly, him not asking me on a date. I also don't really remember caring
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about that. I was just really enjoying talking to him. I texted one of my friends, also named
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Allie and said, I think I met my husband, which was ridiculous sounding because none
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of them knew him. And you know, like we hadn't gone on a date, like I said.
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And like no reason for anybody to have known me or for any of my friends to have known
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We were just working out. Yeah. But I just knew. And I remember before I met him, like
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when I was dating other people, I would ask married couples, how do you know? Like, how do
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you just know? They say, when you know, you know. And I just always thought that was so
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dumb. Like when you know, you know, I don't know what that means.
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It's almost like not helpful. You're like, oh, when you know, you know.
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I mean, at least for me, that's not true for everyone. Like I have friends that, you know,
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they went through a lot of doubting. There was a lot of back and forth. They dated for a
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long time on and off before they got married, which is totally fine. Everyone's story is
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different. But for me, I just knew, I was so sure, so immediately, probably before you
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were. Probably. I mean, I just, that's also kind of like my personality. I just, when I
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There's some dispute on what our first date was.
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Yeah. So like we just went to the local Chick-fil-A, which is fitting, I think, because of how much
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We just went there and just chatted. I told you some personal, maybe two personal of things.
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Oh yeah. He divulged like his whole life story at this Chick-fil-A.
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Just let it all out. And so that was Chick-fil-A. So you don't consider that our first date.
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Also don't really consider the next date really. It was the first date. Yeah.
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Yeah. But I think it was when he told me, like you told me your background. You told me the
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things that had happened to you in college or that you had done in college and you had
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had a little bit of a rough past few years and you just wanted to be totally honest with
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me. Even though I think it was before that maybe that I thought, okay, I could definitely
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see myself marrying this person. It was then just his like total and complete vulnerability
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with me. Like no pretense whatsoever. I was like, oh my gosh, this guy is different.
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I mean, any of you who have been dating for any period of time or who have dated multiple guys,
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you know that it's hard to find someone who is genuine and who is honest and who isn't afraid to
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show their flaws or their faults. And I just loved that about him. Like there wasn't a part of me that
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was like, oh, now that I know this stuff that you went through in college, like, is it really
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something that I'm okay with? I thought that it showed a lot of character that he was that honest
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that fast. It did not scare me or overwhelm me at all. Yeah. And I was thankful for that.
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Yeah. And I remember like, I tried to respond by saying, well, you know, like here's some stuff that
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I've done. Like I was stupid in college and he was literally like, please stop. Yeah. Like that
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wasn't the intention. Like I'm telling you about this. You don't have to say anything else.
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Yeah. And then, so we kept talking or whatever. Actually, I remember it was the beginning. It was
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the beginning of November. I remember it was like the weekend of November 2nd. So it must've been
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some time after that, but before our official first date, I don't remember. But, um, I went home
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for a friend's wedding and, uh, you were texting me. He had finally gotten my number. You were texting me
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and I texted you back and he just didn't text me back for like three days. And it wasn't one of
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those texts. He's looking at me like, I don't know what I'm talking about. Well, I remember this.
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It wasn't one of those texts that was like an end of conversation text. So I was a little bit
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worried. That was like the one time I can look back and be like, what was happening? I don't know.
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I was probably just trying not to bug you or something.
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Yeah. Just trying to be cool. I didn't want to be too desperate. Yeah. Well, that changed really fast
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for both of us because soon after that we were like all in a hundred percent. We went on our first
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date. He took me to a Mexican restaurant. Yeah. Attached to a gas station. It was the best one in
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Athens though. It was a great, it gets a bad rap because it is. It's a low bar. Low bar. Okay. So my thought
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process was she's from Texas and she loves Mexican food. So I'm going to show her some subpar Mexican food.
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Yeah. I didn't know that she likes Tex-Mex and that, that's the distinction. I failed to make.
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Georgia people, they call it cheese dip and it's white. Yeah. It's true. That's okay. It was.
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The food's not as good there. But it was cute. It was sweet. And it was my fault. I got a taco salad.
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You did get a taco salad. Yeah. You didn't eat any of it. I, well, you know, that's my fault. I think
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I was still in that stage where I like didn't want to eat a lot in front of him. That also changed
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very quickly. But, and then what did we do after Mexican food? But I was very thankful that you went
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with me that afternoon because I had also scored us great tickets to the Georgia Auburn game. It was,
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it was going to be a fantastic time. And then you had a wedding to go to instead, but that was okay.
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It was. Yeah. Because what did we do after the Mexican restaurant? We went and walked around
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downtown Athens and it was great. That's all you want to say? Yeah. Okay. Well, well now it sounds
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sketchy. Okay. I got a tattoo afterwards and that was something we had talked about doing and we had
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made, you know, plans to do this thing. And I was like, all right, after our first date, after we
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get lunch together, we went and got a tattoo and it was fantastic. He got a tattoo. Not like a tattoo
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together. No, no. A tattoo that he had been wanting, you had been wanting to get. I had been wanting it, yeah.
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And you had been talking to me about getting a tattoo for like the whole time that we had been
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getting to know each other. And so we did do that on our first date. But I remember thinking as he
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was getting his tattoo, like, this is going to be really weird if we don't end up getting married.
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It's going to be a tough story to tell. This is going to be odd. But we did. And then after that,
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someone asked, one of the questions was, how long did you guys date before you got married?
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Five? Not long. Yeah. Five months. Five months. And then I proposed and it was a four-month
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engagement. So. Four-month engagement. Real fast. Everyone's story is different. I don't recommend
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that for every single person. But we just, I mean, we just knew. It's based on personality. We're
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very much those type of people. Yeah. And we were ready. When we knew, we were ready to go in for it.
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Yeah. And I haven't, I mean, obviously, but just in case anyone's wondering, like, I obviously
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haven't looked, I haven't looked back. Absolutely not. I'm so thankful. So thankful. And someone did
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ask, this would be a good transition. What is your favorite thing about the other person?
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Hmm. Favorite thing about the other person. I've always about Allie that I've really loved
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and that I loved in the beginning before she started doing what she does now was just her
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drive and her ability to create out of nothing is what I call it. Essentially, she's always wanted to
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be an entrepreneur. She's always had this entrepreneurial spirit and drive. And I really
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like that about her. She's a self-starter, thousand percent. That's the reason why we're on this podcast
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now, because you just had an inkling in your eye that you're, I'm just going to do something. And you
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went and did it. And not a lot of people do that. And a lot of people have that drive. Like,
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it's one thing to want the entrepreneur lifestyle. That's another thing to actually start it and to
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get going for it. And that's one thing I've always loved about her. Thanks. What I love about
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Timothy, there's a lot that I love about Timothy, obviously. That's why I knew I was going to marry
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him from the very beginning. But the one thing that I really love is his discipline. Like once he sets
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his mind to something, he's like, well, I'm just going to do this. And I always go back to the original
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thing that I learned about him, which was that even though when I met him, he was like super in
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shape, all into CrossFit. He told me that at one point he was not, that he was what you would call
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skinny fat. Oh yeah, for sure. Skinny fat, a little chubby. Yeah. Wasn't in shape at all. And I remember
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seeing pictures, but you decided to do something called the TB12 method. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
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That's Tom Brady. What's he called? That's Tom Brady. It was something else, something I found
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on the internet. This guy, small town program. I'm getting confused with all of the fitness things
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that you have done over the years. Essentially, it was like a 70 day program. I was like, I've never
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stuck to anything in my life. I'm going to this time. And I did. And it changed me completely. It
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was really beneficial. Yeah. And you became like super healthy. And this is the reason why I love
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fitness. Maybe not as much now. I'm probably not as fit as I was obviously in college, but
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it just helped me out of a time when I was not feeling well. I made stupid mistakes. It's feeling
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almost like in a state of depression or something like that. And it was what pulled me out of that
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was being able to have a goal to work towards and be able to accomplish that. And it was, it was
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helpful. You did. Like you started out not being able to like run a mile basically. Right. Yeah. And
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then by the end of it, I mean, he's, you've done a lot and now he's still super in shape,
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much more in shape than I am. But I love just his ability to set his mind to something. It's
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the same thing at work. I also love that he takes care of the, like the managerial or the
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administrative stuff, all the money stuff in our house. I am like a very much a big picture
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person. And I don't like, I don't like little tasks that I don't feel like advance what I need
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to do. And he is a very good caretaker of our home that I don't have to worry about that. You
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know, obviously like bills are going to get paid that, uh, whoever, someone who is working for us
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or working with us or did a service to us that they're going to get paid. Like he's just really
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good about all that kind of stuff, which I think goes back to discipline too. And that is something
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that I do not have. Yeah. Learned that, you know, it doesn't always come naturally, but
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you know, if it doesn't, I don't do it. So nobody's going to be coming after us. So it's got to get
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done. And he makes really good eggs, any kind of eggs that you want. Scrambled eggs, fried eggs.
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Those are the only kind of eggs that I like, but you're good at it. Poached eggs. You can poach. I
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don't like poached eggs, but I'll take his word for it. Someone did ask us which one of you is a
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better cook and who usually makes dinner? Two different answers. He, I usually make dinner,
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but I would say he is the better cook for most things. Maybe not for all things.
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Yeah. I don't know. Maybe there's something that I make better than you, but he's, I would think he's,
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I would say he's a really good cook. I do like cooking. Very messy cook. Very messy cook. I don't
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like cleaning up after myself when I cook. Yeah. I enjoy cooking and, um, I got really good at it
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whenever I was trying to eat healthy and it's like, Oh, you've got to be able to actually cook
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something to make that happen. Yeah. Now it's, it's less of a, something I do. Yeah. And he's,
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I mean, he's always like happy to cook, but he gets home pretty late from work. And so I always,
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I'm not a bad cook. I'm not one of those people that's like, Oh my gosh, everything's on fire. I can't
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cook. It doesn't taste good. I just am not as good at it as he is. He's also, you're much better
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at watching things to where they all finish at the same time. I'm like, Oh, chicken's done about
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an hour till the potatoes are ready. So that's not really good. That's also part of just me not.
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That's what the microwave is for. That's what the microwave is for. Um, okay. Here's a money
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question. Do we merge our earnings into one thing, one money pot this person says, or do we keep my
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money and your money? Oh, good question. So yeah, we joint bank accounts in it together completely
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joint, try to do budget meetings, uh, to make sure that we're, you know, on the same page with what
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we're going to spend our money on, but it's definitely a joint endeavor. Um, got that from
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Dave Ramsey, somebody that really listened to all, I listened to his stuff. I've read his books.
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Yeah. I mean, it's just advocating for a married couple needs to have joint, joint accounts in my
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opinion. And that's never been a problem for us. I mean, money is always, it can be a stressful
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conversation and it probably was more at the beginning of our marriage when we had less money
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than we do now. When we were, um, you know, like in the very beginning living in Athens, basically
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college students. Yeah. Neither of us were making very much money at all. And that was a much more,
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and we were also making stupid decisions with our money. I mean, we were eating out as much then as
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we do now, but we have more money now than we did then. Yeah. And we would be, we were stressed
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whenever we talked about money. For sure. Now it's, it's better. And I think that's what helps with the
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joint accounts or merging your finances together. This question is worded because it makes it to where
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that's a less difficult conversation to have. And it keeps from one person having their own side and
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their own money problems that you don't know about. There's less secrets involved. Yeah. Secrecy. And I
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do think that there's, especially in a Christian marriage where God makes it clear that you are not
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just one flesh, but you are also one in spirit and you are on the same path. You may be do doing two
00:22:11.020
different things. Like I have one job, he has another job, but this mentality of, well, hey,
00:22:16.260
I earned this money or, well, I'm the one, either one of you, I'm the one who brings home the most
00:22:21.880
money. So are you really going to tell me that I can't buy this? That kind of mentality, although
00:22:26.740
we've probably fallen into that, it is a sinful mentality because it causes bitterness and it causes
00:22:34.760
resentment. And, um, it's just, it's not unifying. Yeah. I think that's what marriage is for is to
00:22:43.280
help each other whenever one person is down or one person is in sickness and in health, it says,
00:22:49.100
you know, you got to be able to be there for the person no matter what. I think it's the same with
00:22:52.660
money. It's for rich or for poor. Well, if you're not in it together and one person is out of work or
00:22:58.840
something, but that's their money, then I don't feel like that's a good way to live it. Now,
00:23:03.880
obviously I feel like in those scenarios, people, married people are going to help each other out,
00:23:07.320
even if it is separate accounts. I'm not saying people with separate accounts don't help each
00:23:10.280
other, but, um, I find it easier when you just think this is our pool together. Yeah. And we're
00:23:16.180
both contributing to it, contributing to it. And this is what we're supposed to do. And we've both
00:23:20.060
had stages to where like very, there's been two stages where I didn't have like a steady paycheck
00:23:26.240
because I've been transitioning from one job to the other, or I was trying to get my footing in,
00:23:31.140
in this job. And he, um, he has always had a steady paycheck, but there have been times
00:23:38.000
also where like, I've had to, you know, like we've needed to cut into the money that I earned
00:23:44.120
to help pay for something. And so it really is, it has to be the mentality that this is ours,
00:23:50.100
that we are one person. We're on the same team. We're not competing against one another. And that
00:23:55.200
also helps you be proud of one another for whatever accomplishes you have, not saying, well,
00:23:59.300
how much did you make this month? That's just not healthy in my opinion. Definitely. Um, speaking
00:24:06.140
of podcasts, someone asked about what podcasts you listened to specifically. And if there's any
00:24:13.140
we listen to together, you said, we do listen to Dave Ramsey together. We do. Yeah. That's a great
00:24:17.120
question. I love podcasts like almost too much to where, you know, it's always in my ear and I can't
00:24:21.760
just think of something, have my own thoughts sometimes, but I do. Obviously I love this podcast.
00:24:26.980
I love listening to what Allie has to say about culture and politics. I keep up with it as much
00:24:32.700
as I can with political, on the political side, but then the, the breath of fresh air with the
00:24:37.780
theology, theological side, I really find fun and interesting. And I like your take on culture, but
00:24:43.560
outside of this podcast, I listen daily. I try to listen to in the mornings, two podcasts that
00:24:50.320
wall street journal puts out what's news and your money briefing. It just keeps me up to date.
00:24:54.380
I work in the financial world. So that's why that's interesting to me. And I like to stay up
00:24:58.500
to date. Um, that Dave Ramsey, we listened to that one together, mostly on airplanes whenever we're
00:25:04.300
flying together. Yeah. He is, you know, he has AirPods. He's one of those people. And so I take
00:25:09.760
one of the AirPods and I put it in my ear. Yeah. And it's always good to hear about other people's
00:25:14.040
questions and struggles and, and how you can, how you can learn from that. Um, other things I like
00:25:19.760
sports podcast a ton. And I'll even listen to sports podcasts with him. Like he, you were listening to
00:25:24.940
a golf podcast a couple of weeks ago. No laying up. It's a great podcast. Yeah. I know. I mean,
00:25:29.840
I did used to play golf, but I don't want to listen to golf podcasts, but I'll listen to just about
00:25:33.400
anything with him. Um, okay. What's a good way to find like-minded conservative Christians in the
00:25:40.000
dating world. I mean, that's, it's, it's obviously our story isn't necessarily the most relatable to
00:25:48.260
anyone because it was just kind of a matter of, oh my gosh, we found this person and we didn't
00:25:53.880
realize that that's what we were looking for. But I do have a lot of friends. I have friends that are
00:25:59.020
single that are kind of in the same boat. And I think it's just a matter of being a part of
00:26:05.000
communities and being a part of places where other Christian people are. I'm not sure it's
00:26:09.520
something that you can force. Of course, some people have had, um, success with dating online,
00:26:16.260
and I'm certainly not going to categorically condemn that, but I also have seen a lot of
00:26:21.920
luck and just really healthy starts of relationships with people who have found someone at church. So
00:26:27.520
you already have that kind of core commonality who have found someone through a friend who have been
00:26:33.640
part of like chamber of commerce or junior chamber of commerce in their area, just being a part of
00:26:39.280
groups where other like-minded people are. And I know that might not be the most satisfying answer.
00:26:46.020
Of course, that's something that you can also pray for as well. Now I've talked about on this podcast,
00:26:52.140
not making you, uh, like a future husband or a future wife in idol, because the Bible does say,
00:26:59.020
um, it's better to be single than to be married. As long as you can stay away from temptation,
00:27:04.180
uh, sexual temptation outside of marriage to fully dedicate yourself to the Lord. And so you can,
00:27:09.700
of course, find full contentment in Christ, um, without being married. It's not wrong to desire
00:27:14.540
being married. It's not wrong to want a spouse or to be looking for a spouse, but I do think it's a
00:27:19.960
balance of constantly praying that God would grant you contentment in Christ because he has already
00:27:25.260
offered us that, but also, um, if it is his well, that he would put you in the right situation or
00:27:31.780
give you the right opportunity to meet the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.
00:27:36.100
I think that's, there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Would you add anything to that or no? No,
00:27:40.460
I agree with you there. I think like you're saying, it's being active in the places where you
00:27:44.120
think you might find those people is, is a valuable, a valuable way to try to meet that. I think that's
00:27:49.740
also an easy answer to give. So it's not really too much insight, but yeah, but there's no math. I
00:27:54.820
mean, it's so different for every person that it's really hard. It's hard to say, well, this is the
00:28:00.160
one way that you do it. Yeah. Cause it is very different. Um, which one of you is responsible for
00:28:05.820
washing the car, washing the car, me, um, definitely me. I am in charge of, I'm just kidding.
00:28:14.420
I'm kidding. I'm not, I will never wash my car. No, I think the, the local car
00:28:19.620
washing place down the street is, uh, we'd just take it through there, zip it through.
00:28:23.780
But it's you, you're the one that makes sure. It's me that does it. Yeah. Like the $6 wash
00:28:27.580
just gets it and then I'll go and vacuum it out. So I do that with our cars. Yeah. And he's very
00:28:31.760
frustrated with me when he looks at my car. He's like, your car is disgusting. Yeah. And the car
00:28:36.580
wash is right there. But see, that's one of those, that's one of those menial tasks that I don't want
00:28:42.260
to do. Cause I'm a typical millennial in a lot of ways and I don't want to be inconvenienced.
00:28:46.340
Yeah. Um, okay. One person asked how pregnancy has changed our relationship for better or for
00:28:51.640
worse. Hmm. I think it's been what I've liked and this is for the good. It's the excitement
00:28:58.600
of the pregnancy. It's like, it's given us something else or another person to be talking
00:29:03.920
about. It's like, Oh, the baby girl is coming. It's like, we're going to, and then like talk
00:29:07.960
about her and think about how she's going to be and speculate on what she's going to be
00:29:12.560
like. And yeah. And then the whole planning of, you know, where is she going to sleep
00:29:17.060
in our house? And what are we going to do? And why do we have so many animals? And why
00:29:21.220
do we have so many animals? That's what we ask ourselves every night. Why do we have so
00:29:24.980
many animals? We have three animals. If you don't already know, we have two cats and a dog.
00:29:29.620
We have Reagan. That's our dog. She's our mutt. And we have Rachel McAdams, the OG, the cat
00:29:35.500
that we got when we first got married that he named. And then we've got sweatpants, the totally
00:29:39.760
superfluous animal that we did not need, but who is also our best behaved animal. That's
00:29:45.280
the other cat, sweatpants. We have really odd names. They're great names. They're endearing.
00:29:51.400
Yeah. And they're great animals. But yeah. So I think as far as pregnancy, I mean, it's
00:30:00.880
changed for the better. I think we're excited. Someone did ask how we decided when we were
00:30:07.940
going to have kids. How did we make that decision?
00:30:11.360
I think for me, and I think this would be the same for you, it was just, I think it was
00:30:17.160
just natural. It's like, this feels right. We're both comfortable. We had just moved out
00:30:21.920
in Texas. Not just moved out, but we had moved out here. We were getting our feet planted
00:30:27.780
We had our house. We knew we weren't going anywhere for a little bit. And I had a stable
00:30:33.140
job. You had a stable job for the first time. Well, not the first time, but you knew what
00:30:45.320
Well, we had kind of planned. I wrote in my goals journal at the beginning of 2018 that
00:30:53.160
maybe we would start trying at the end of 2018. And obviously, it happened a lot sooner
00:30:59.420
than that. It was just, there was actually like an opportunity that I was entertaining
00:31:03.360
at a network and I had filmed a pilot for a network. And I told myself, okay, like I
00:31:11.240
don't want to try until I know whether or not this pilot is actually going to become a
00:31:17.020
show. And it didn't become a show. Thank goodness. I mean, there would be nothing wrong
00:31:23.400
with that. It would have been an awesome opportunity, but thank goodness because we ended up getting
00:31:27.340
pregnant and everything has worked out really well. So God's timing and God's plan is obviously
00:31:34.840
always better than ours, but it just kind of like, it just kind of happens. Now it wasn't
00:31:40.180
terribly easy for us to get pregnant. Actually, it wasn't a lot of people. It's like, okay,
00:31:45.480
first time got pregnant for us. It was a few months. I had thyroid issues. I had a kidney
00:31:52.740
issue. It was kind of on and off. And we had kind of decided when we did get pregnant,
00:31:58.340
okay, let's just not try anymore. Let's not try because I was, you know, it had been five
00:32:03.960
months or however long of trying and it hadn't happened. So I was like, you know what? Maybe
00:32:08.580
it's just not time. It's just not time right now. And so I don't want to worry about it.
00:32:12.160
I don't want to be stressed out about it. I don't want to track on the app and all this
00:32:15.580
stuff. It's just too, it's too much pressure. I don't want to think about it. And it was kind
00:32:19.580
of like, as soon as I just said, let's stop thinking about it, that it ended up happening.
00:32:25.520
So when it did happen, even though we had been trying technically, I was really surprised.
00:32:31.580
So we're very grateful for that. Yeah, absolutely. She's going to be here really soon.
00:32:39.600
Let's see. What is something that you didn't know about each other until you got married?
00:32:49.580
You go ahead. I feel like even though we only knew each other for a short amount of time,
00:32:55.500
I feel like I knew a lot about you because he's pretty messy. But I knew that because he lived in
00:33:04.480
an apartment with three other guys when I first met him. And that was disgusting. It was disgusting.
00:33:12.520
It was gross. If any of those guys are listening to this podcast, I don't even care. It was disgusting.
00:33:17.620
I don't even know. But I would still go over there because I was a nice girlfriend. And I would still
00:33:23.280
eat the food that you cooked in that disgusting kitchen. Now, thankfully, you're not like that
00:33:28.420
anymore. Yeah, not that bad. No, it was just the combination, I think, of four guys living together
00:33:33.800
probably. Absolutely. But I don't know if I found out anything new. It was four guys and the rent was
00:33:40.640
like less than $200 a month. You snore. And you said I could say that on the podcast. So I'm not just
00:33:45.660
trying to embarrass you. But yeah, he does snore. But that's okay. I forgive you for that. Is there
00:33:52.140
anything that you didn't know about me? Well, I mean, I knew that you were going to do something
00:33:59.320
cool with your life. I knew it was going to be, all right, she's talented. She's special. She's
00:34:05.140
different. I knew that you were going to do something great. But I figured it would just be
00:34:09.320
like, okay, PR. You were going to start your own PR company one day or you were going to do something
00:34:14.440
like that. I don't know. I had no idea it was going to take off into this field of politics or this
00:34:19.180
field of being an influencer of any type. And I think that was the big surprise for me. I'm not
00:34:26.340
surprised. What I found out about you. Yeah. And I don't think either of us did. When we first got
00:34:31.020
married, I wasn't doing this. It wasn't until after we got married that I even started speaking to
00:34:36.800
sororities. So he's been along for that ride. And one thing, even though this wasn't a question that
00:34:42.360
was asked, but one thing that I love about him, actually someone did ask about like competing
00:34:47.260
interests or something. But one thing that I love about him is that he's always been
00:34:51.000
so supportive of everything that I want to do. Actually, actually, I'll take that back. You have
00:34:57.240
been very supportive of this career, but every time I have a divergent dream, I'm like, oh, I want to
00:35:03.160
start a biscuit company. I want to open this kind of fitness place. He's like, no, no, you're not
00:35:10.840
doing that. That's keeping you grounded. Yes. He does keep me grounded. Because like he said,
00:35:16.340
I do have an entrepreneurial spirit. I am really good. I'll just say it. I'm really good at coming
00:35:22.320
up with ideas for businesses. If you want an idea for a business, come to me. I truly believe. I'm one
00:35:27.900
of those people that can, that believes. I like believe in you and I believe in people. That's
00:35:32.660
one of the things I love. I like, I love encouraging people and I love calling out people's talents and
00:35:37.100
be like, this is the name of your company. This is what you need to do. And you just need to run for
00:35:42.360
it. Like I would love to just have a service where I do that for people. But I also sometimes do that
00:35:48.440
with myself. I'm like, I have a great idea for biscuit carts and I really do have a good idea.
00:35:54.380
So if anyone wants to take that over, let me know. But he is really good at saying like,
00:35:59.360
you know, we need to stay on track. Here are the good parts that you need to keep pursuing.
00:36:03.900
But as far as this media career, he has been so supportive and that's just not true of all guys.
00:36:13.040
Like I just think that marrying someone who is secure in himself and secure in his own strengths
00:36:20.120
and strong and able to encourage me and has never been threatened by anything that I do or threatened
00:36:27.020
by the fact that I'm super opinionated. That was really important to me and I've never felt that.
00:36:32.600
Again, I think that would cause resentment against, between us. Someone asked if you are as passionate
00:36:39.200
about politics and stuff as I am. I would say no, just because it's not what I do professionally.
00:36:44.980
So I don't, I'm not as passionate about it, but am I, am I not up to date or do I, do I not keep up
00:36:53.420
with politics? That's no either. I mean, I do keep up with it and I do, I do read plenty about it and
00:37:00.540
it does get me worked up and fired up for sure, but I'm less opinionated about it. I don't even know
00:37:05.580
if that's true. You do have a lot of opinions. You might not tweet them. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, for sure.
00:37:10.380
You do have a lot of opinions. I tell them to you. Yes, he does. And thankfully, someone asked
00:37:15.520
a question about like divergent or differing political views. I think it would be hard if
00:37:21.900
you're both passionate about politics, it would be hard to marry someone who has different views.
00:37:26.280
Now, if neither of you really care and you have some differences, okay. But it would like,
00:37:31.480
it would be hard for me to ever be, to ever have been with someone who wasn't a conservative.
00:37:38.040
Yeah, definitely. But I got lucky because his entire family is conservative. Okay. One question
00:37:44.500
is, how do we honor God in marriage or keep Christ the center of our marriage?
00:37:51.480
Yeah, that's a good question. I think, yeah. It's something that we work to do and improve
00:37:58.800
on, I would say, every day. Yeah. I've heard you say this before to the listeners, but trying
00:38:03.480
to read particular things. So we have a devotional and read at night. That's just like what you
00:38:10.260
have to do to be centered, but I think it helps us. And we try to read that almost every night. And
00:38:16.080
trying to be in the Word separately is really the key factor because it doesn't come down to
00:38:24.200
what you can do together always. Because at the end of the day, your relationship with Christ is
00:38:28.620
a personal thing. But then that will bleed into your marriage. So if Christ is the center of your
00:38:34.520
life, then Christ will be the center of your marriage just by proxy.
00:38:39.460
Yeah. And I think we also really try to talk to each other, not always, like we can definitely get
00:38:45.700
better at this, but talk to each other about what the other person is learning and talk about how we
00:38:53.340
can pray for the other person. And he's always really good at, if I'm worried about something or
00:38:59.060
if I'm distressed about something, like we've been having a hard time and my family for the past
00:39:04.880
couple of years, and he's had, uh, he's been really good about saying, okay, well, can I pray for you?
00:39:10.600
Or let's just pray about it right now. Or just kind of starts praying. That's not something that comes
00:39:15.560
as naturally to me. And he's been really good about that. And I just always know that he is
00:39:22.740
going to point me in that direction. And I think that he feels the same way.
00:39:27.700
Yeah. Another practical means just outside of the answers of praying and reading the scripture
00:39:33.120
together. I feel like that's a common answer to that. One that I've found has been beneficial is also
00:39:40.620
relates back to an earlier question about money. What you do with your money, how you give your
00:39:47.260
money, knowing that money can drive certain behaviors in people, um, is a way to stay grounded
00:39:54.200
and centered in Christ, I think. And I find living within your means on a budget and giving generously
00:40:00.680
and ferociously, I think has been, or can be a key tenant to a thriving Christ-centered marriage.
00:40:08.140
Yeah. It feels good to be contributing to the same causes together and to say, okay,
00:40:14.160
we're making a difference in this area or to these people. And like, we always agree on that. We always
00:40:20.220
decide, okay, this is how much we want to give and this is who we want to give to.
00:40:22.840
And that's not just financially either. It's just service, serving other people and serving other
00:40:26.480
groups that can help not only you as a person, but then together with your spouse and we'll help
00:40:32.400
Yeah. And that's something, all of these things are areas that we can improve on and are improving
00:40:37.960
on all the time. We certainly don't have it figured out.
00:40:41.240
Um, okay. Last question. There's so many questions that we didn't get to. And so we'll just have to
00:40:45.300
do this again because thankfully he can't get away from me. He's married to me. And so he's permanent
00:40:51.120
podcast guest. Sorry. Um, so we'll get to some more questions hopefully in a future episode,
00:40:57.020
but last question. What is your favorite part about being married? Favorite part about being
00:41:03.740
married? Yeah. It's going to be a little cheesy, but, uh, having your best friend at your house
00:41:09.640
constantly is pretty cool. Like being able to be like, okay, I want to watch a movie. Oh,
00:41:15.580
somebody else will watch a movie with me. Yeah. Most likely. Sometimes you won't because you have
00:41:20.240
work or something or vice versa, but whenever you're going into your endeavors, spring is tough for movie
00:41:26.420
watching. Cause there's always a sport that he needs to watch. I mean, basketball is winding down,
00:41:31.540
baseball starting up, golf is in full swing. Yeah. Literally. But I mean, even in that though,
00:41:39.060
I mean, that's my favorite thing too. Even in that, like, I mean, I don't really like watching
00:41:43.080
sports that much, especially not basketball, but I love just being in his presence. I really do.
00:41:49.380
Like if I'm doing something else, if I have to work on my computer, I don't want to go in my room.
00:41:53.060
I don't want to go in another room by myself. Like I just like being with him. Like I genuinely hate
00:41:58.500
when he leaves for work and it's good because I wouldn't get anything done because we would just
00:42:03.140
be hanging out all day. But I just love hanging out with him and just the freedom of being married.
00:42:12.080
It's different than being boyfriend and girlfriend and living together. We did not live together before
00:42:16.800
we were married, but, um, it's, it's different than that because you have this security that no
00:42:23.920
matter what, at your very worst, no matter how freaking annoying you are. I mean, people just
00:42:28.560
go through like annoying stages of life. It's like, wow, you've just been really annoying about that
00:42:32.620
one thing recently, whatever it is. I'm talking about myself here, but that person, they're not
00:42:38.340
going to leave like in a Christian marriage. Like it is to have and to hold from this day forward,
00:42:43.220
sickness and health, riches, rich or poor, whatever it is. The only thing that separates you is death
00:42:49.320
and having that assurance of waking up to that person every morning, having that constancy and
00:42:54.440
that unconditional love. I say to, I tell people this all the time, sorry, I know I'm going long,
00:43:00.240
but there's just a lot that I love about being married to him. I don't think that I would have
00:43:05.180
started what I do. I don't think I would have had the confidence to do what I do without him.
00:43:11.640
And it's not because he was constantly telling me, Hey, you need to start something.
00:43:15.520
But just because he gives me confidence just in his unconditional love of me that I've never felt
00:43:21.000
like I'm too much. Like I'm not enough. Like I need to be a certain way. Like I need to look a
00:43:25.400
certain way. Like I need to act a certain way or to impress him in a certain regard. I've never felt
00:43:32.060
like that. I've always felt like this person loves me for everything that I am. He knows everything
00:43:36.980
to know about me that they're, that I even know to know. And he loves me and doesn't judge me. And
00:43:44.740
is, it's just unconditional support. And because of that, I have so much confidence to do the things
00:43:52.080
that I, to do the things that I do because I have that anchor.
00:43:56.080
You always have a cheerleader whenever, like in this marriage or in a marriage, you know,
00:44:01.720
you have somebody that's there to support you, there to love you, but they're also to like give
00:44:07.020
you a swift kick if you need it. And you're like, Hey, I'm in a funk right now. You can,
00:44:12.500
can you remind me of who I am? Or like you would just naturally do that. Just be like, okay,
00:44:16.020
this is who you are. This is what you have. This is who you are in Christ. And knowing that you can
00:44:21.560
still get over and still accomplish the things that you need to accomplish.
00:44:27.280
Yeah. We both do that for each other. We both try to remind each other, like you have so much
00:44:33.360
potential and so much talent. God has given you so much and you need to use it. We try, we try to
00:44:40.540
encourage each other to be good stewards of all the things that God has graciously given us.
00:44:45.000
Sometimes we're stupid and we spend three hours watching Netflix instead.
00:44:48.260
Yeah. Spend three hours watching Netflix, order food from somewhere. Like definitely happens. We're not.
00:44:53.460
Yeah. We try to encourage each other in discipline. Um, but yeah, I just, I love being married. It's
00:45:01.820
the best. It's really great. Uh, okay. Well, I guess that's a good note to end on. Thank you guys so
00:45:07.080
much for watching and listening. Uh, subscribe on YouTube. My channel name is Allie Beth Stuckey. So if
00:45:13.560
you're listening to this, uh, you can watch it. Or if you're watching this video, make sure that you
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click subscribe, uh, you can listen to this on iTunes, on Spotify, on Google play, all kinds of
00:45:24.380
places. You can follow me on social media. If you like this podcast, please consider leaving a five
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star review on iTunes helps me out a lot. If you've got any questions or constructive criticism, I take
00:45:33.880
that stuff seriously. So please email me Allie at the conservative millennial blog.com. And I will see you