Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - April 12, 2019


Ep 98 | Husband Q & A


Episode Stats


Length

45 minutes

Words per minute

200.4467

Word count

9,154

Sentence count

850

Harmful content

Misogyny

3

sentences flagged

Hate speech

6

sentences flagged


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Timothy and I talk about how we met and how we became a couple. We also talk about the controversy surrounding the new movie "Unplanned" and why you should definitely see it. We also answer some of your relationship questions.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 Hello, relatable listeners. I am here with my husband, Timothy, and we are answering
00:00:06.980 your relationship questions. We got so many relationship questions. We're probably not
00:00:13.380 going to be able to get through all of them. We'll try, but I don't know.
00:00:16.040 I don't think we're going to, but before we get started, I do want to talk to you guys about
00:00:20.280 Unplanned. Now, I know a lot of you have probably already seen the movie. If you haven't, you have
00:00:24.720 to go do that. You've probably already heard about the controversy that is surrounding it.
00:00:30.000 They're looking at, a lot of people are looking at the MPAAs. Do you say that? I don't know if you
00:00:35.860 say it like that. MPAA, MPAA. They're looking at the R rating that was given to the movie, and they're
00:00:41.840 saying, okay, well, maybe I shouldn't go to the movie because, you know, I'm a Christian, so it's
00:00:47.280 R rated. They're kind of worried that maybe the R rating is going to steer away young people,
00:00:53.120 but I really encourage you to go see it. Now, it is a little bit disturbing. It's hard to watch.
00:00:59.420 I spontaneously burst into tears, but it's really good to see the reality of abortion.
00:01:07.220 Abby Johnson, the person who the movie is about, she had two abortions. She worked for Planned
00:01:12.120 Parenthood. She was a staunch supporter of abortion. Even her mother and her husband
00:01:18.360 couldn't change her mind. They couldn't get her to think differently about it. So while she was at
00:01:23.500 Planned Parenthood, she rose so quickly throughout the ranks that she became director of the Planned
00:01:28.280 Parenthood clinic where she worked. But one day she was asked to go in and actually assist with an
00:01:34.920 abortion procedure, and she saw for the first time what goes on. I mean, that's kind of crazy to think
00:01:40.440 about. She was already director of this clinic, but she didn't know what really went on. But she saw
00:01:45.160 what went on in abortion, and she walked out completely changed. Like, it totally changed her 0.65
00:01:49.720 perspective. So this movie is that story. It gives, this is a quote, it gives an eye-opening look
00:01:56.200 inside the abortion industry from a woman who was once its most passionate advocate.
00:02:00.760 So if you guys want to see that, or just learn more about it, go to unplannedfilm.com.
00:02:06.840 Unplannedfilm.com. It is playing right now. I promise you that if you're anything like me,
00:02:11.420 you are not going to leave the theater the same way that you came in. And so make sure that you go
00:02:17.660 check that out. Okay. So now we are going to answer some of these questions. Are you ready?
00:02:22.620 I'm ready. I'm very ready.
00:02:24.540 Well, some of them I think are going to be easier than others. And what you'll probably figure out
00:02:30.200 about our personalities is that one way that we compliment each other is that I talk a lot.
00:02:35.560 And I'm a little less talkative, but I'll try to make sure I can talk a little bit more,
00:02:40.780 give my insight, give some answers.
00:02:42.220 He has really good insight. And so I'm going to give him the floor as much as he wants the floor.
00:02:46.940 If you don't want the floor, you can just let me know.
00:02:50.140 Yeah, that's fine. I appreciate it. But we all know what we're here for.
00:02:53.460 Yeah. Okay. Well, first I think we should start by telling people, because I got a few questions
00:02:58.780 about this, how we met. I've shared this story on the podcast before, but I think it's important
00:03:06.440 to set up this context for people who don't know. Or maybe you should tell a little bit
00:03:10.640 about you and where you come from.
00:03:12.400 About me?
00:03:13.300 Yeah.
00:03:14.040 So I am from Georgia originally. Georgia boy. Lived there my whole life until two years ago,
00:03:20.600 whenever we decided to uproot and move over to Texas. Love it in Texas. It's great here.
00:03:27.040 But...
00:03:27.360 Grew up in a small town.
00:03:28.240 Yeah. Small town in Georgia. Small town there. And went to school a couple hours north of where
00:03:33.720 I lived at the University of Georgia in Athens, where we met. And that'll be a part of our story.
00:03:39.040 It is a part of our story. After school, worked there for a little bit. Got a job out in Texas.
00:03:45.140 Moved out here with my Texas girl. And so, yeah.
00:03:49.160 And here we are.
00:03:50.180 Tell me a bit about me.
00:03:50.860 So when we both lived in Athens, we obviously didn't know each other, because I went to school
00:03:55.380 at Furman in Greenville, which is about an hour and a half away, a little bit more,
00:03:59.600 from Athens. And I got a job at a PR firm there. And so I was working. You were selling
00:04:06.820 mortgages in Athens. And I just happened, I think it was like probably in August of 2014,
00:04:13.660 I found out about this gym called Tribe that was like a pseudo CrossFit gym. Is that how
00:04:20.720 you describe it?
00:04:21.420 I would say as much, yeah.
00:04:23.080 And you were also a personal trainer there.
00:04:25.440 Yeah, I was. I'd been working out there for a little bit. Really enjoyed it. Loved the owners.
00:04:29.660 They were great people. I would say that they were just a good part of our lives in general.
00:04:35.820 Yeah, they were great.
00:04:36.700 Yeah. And so that's kind of probably why I was attracted to this gym. I had never really
00:04:42.120 done CrossFit a little bit, but I just decided to go. And it was after like a few weeks of
00:04:48.740 being there that I noticed him. Honestly, to be perfectly honest, not in a way that was
00:04:54.700 like, oh my gosh, who is that person? Not that I didn't have that reaction, but it wasn't
00:05:00.640 one of those things where it's like, oh my gosh, I know that's my future husband. It
00:05:03.820 wasn't like love at first sight. Actually, the first time I saw him, I was in a class.
00:05:09.040 He never worked out with the classes. He was like way too cool for that.
00:05:12.400 Naturally.
00:05:12.980 Yeah. And then we just started talking in classes. You started coming to the classes, which
00:05:16.960 I kind of thought was intentional. I thought it was purposeful that he started coming to
00:05:22.320 the classes and then he would, I don't know, you just kind of started talking to me just
00:05:26.300 like super casually.
00:05:27.860 Yeah, definitely. I was a little bit nervous to be talking to another girl again, but I
00:05:32.960 was excited and I was like, hey, she looks awesome. Like she's cool. She's fun to be
00:05:37.520 around. She was talking in the classes to everyone, really nice person. So I got to talk to her
00:05:42.840 a little bit. So I tried to flirt a little bit.
00:05:46.360 Yeah, it worked. I actually remember the first time that I was like, oh, I'm going to like,
00:05:51.040 this is my move. I'm going to make a move. Was when I remembered, he told me, he must've
00:05:57.180 just said it in passing in class, like, oh, it's my birthday or something like that. But
00:06:03.180 I didn't say anything. And then the Monday after his birthday, I remember he had told
00:06:07.360 me that he went home to celebrate his 24th birthday.
00:06:12.180 Yeah, it would have been 24th.
00:06:12.960 Yeah, 24th at that point. And when he came into the gym the Monday after, I wished him happy
00:06:17.060 birthday. And I was like, oh, he's going to know that I remembered our conversations
00:06:21.700 and it worked.
00:06:23.200 It was impressive. It did work. I was like, wow, it was my birthday. I barely mentioned
00:06:27.340 that to you.
00:06:28.120 I know.
00:06:28.600 Yeah, that was meaningful.
00:06:29.660 I logged away. That was my move. And from there, so we were talking in classes, but then
00:06:35.900 we started talking after class.
00:06:37.540 Yeah.
00:06:38.000 And you would just kind of like walk me to my car.
00:06:40.320 Mm-hmm.
00:06:41.100 And...
00:06:41.660 We just happened to leave at the same exact time.
00:06:43.500 And you happened to start going to all of the same classes that I was going to.
00:06:47.760 It's so weird.
00:06:48.360 Yeah, like if you just happened to be talking to someone else and it was taking you a long
00:06:51.040 time to leave, you know, I just felt like I probably just, by coincidence, needed to
00:06:55.180 stretch more that day.
00:06:56.040 Yeah.
00:06:56.480 So I would just stretch more.
00:06:57.360 You needed to fill up a few water bottles.
00:06:58.960 Yeah, yeah. And then by the time you were starting to walk out, I was like, oh, yeah,
00:07:01.800 I'm good too. So...
00:07:03.020 Yeah.
00:07:03.320 It just happened to be like that.
00:07:04.520 It just happened to be like that. So coincidentally, we would walk out the door at the exact same
00:07:08.280 time and we would talk outside of my car, not even in my car, because it
00:07:12.540 was still like, it was warm outside and so we would talk.
00:07:16.180 But eventually, the like five minute conversations, and he like, he didn't, he wasn't asking me
00:07:20.060 for my number. He didn't have my number. We weren't texting. He didn't ask me on a date
00:07:24.260 because you would, I mean, you had just gotten out of a relationship. And so we were just
00:07:29.660 talking, but eventually the conversations just got longer and longer. So after like a probably
00:07:34.800 couple weeks of talking outside my car, one day we talked for like four hours from like
00:07:42.320 6.30 to 10.30. And it's like, okay.
00:07:45.860 Yeah. And we just like, just couldn't stop talking. Just shirking all of the responsibilities.
00:07:50.800 No other friends, no other, no eating dinner.
00:07:53.900 No dinner.
00:07:54.400 Nothing like that.
00:07:54.820 Just skipped dinner.
00:07:55.860 Just work out real hard, skip dinner and talk for four hours in a parking lot.
00:07:59.260 And I didn't even think of it. And I don't even really know what we talked about.
00:08:04.040 It was a mix of a lot of things, you know, your love of Backstreet Boys, your love of C.S. Lewis.
00:08:11.280 We talked a lot of small things, definitely not like intellectual things always, but then
00:08:16.700 we would talk about theology. You would share all of your opinions, a lot of the same things
00:08:21.140 you bring up on this podcast all the time.
00:08:23.080 Yeah.
00:08:23.360 And it was, it was really what made me fall in love with just the fact that, hey, this
00:08:28.480 girl is different. She could really articulate a lot of, a lot of things.
00:08:32.360 Yeah. And he was just so easy. He was so easy for me to talk to. And after about a couple
00:08:37.920 weeks of us just talking outside my car again, him not asking for my number. And I don't even
00:08:43.680 remember caring, honestly, him not asking me on a date. I also don't really remember caring
00:08:47.840 about that. I was just really enjoying talking to him. I texted one of my friends, also named
00:08:53.040 Allie and said, I think I met my husband, which was ridiculous sounding because none
00:08:58.320 of them knew him. And you know, like we hadn't gone on a date, like I said.
00:09:02.400 And like no reason for anybody to have known me or for any of my friends to have known
00:09:05.740 you because it wasn't anything.
00:09:08.200 It was just chatting at the gym.
00:09:09.080 We were just working out. Yeah. But I just knew. And I remember before I met him, like
00:09:17.460 when I was dating other people, I would ask married couples, how do you know? Like, how do 1.00
00:09:22.980 you just know? They say, when you know, you know. And I just always thought that was so
00:09:26.260 dumb. Like when you know, you know, I don't know what that means.
00:09:29.900 It's almost like not helpful. You're like, oh, when you know, you know.
00:09:32.460 I know. But it's true. 0.78
00:09:34.700 I mean, at least for me, that's not true for everyone. Like I have friends that, you know,
00:09:39.580 they went through a lot of doubting. There was a lot of back and forth. They dated for a
00:09:42.660 long time on and off before they got married, which is totally fine. Everyone's story is
00:09:46.840 different. But for me, I just knew, I was so sure, so immediately, probably before you
00:09:53.180 were. Probably. I mean, I just, that's also kind of like my personality. I just, when I
00:09:57.980 know something is right, I just do.
00:09:59.520 I knew pretty soon too.
00:10:01.380 Yeah.
00:10:01.660 So I don't know about that.
00:10:04.100 But then you did ask me on a date.
00:10:06.000 I did.
00:10:06.740 There's some dispute on what our first date was.
00:10:08.680 Yeah. So like we just went to the local Chick-fil-A, which is fitting, I think, because of how much
00:10:14.980 we eat Chick-fil-A now.
00:10:16.140 Still. It is still a big part of our lives.
00:10:18.080 We just went there and just chatted. I told you some personal, maybe two personal of things.
00:10:23.300 Oh yeah. He divulged like his whole life story at this Chick-fil-A.
00:10:27.080 Just let it all out. And so that was Chick-fil-A. So you don't consider that our first date.
00:10:32.160 Also don't really consider the next date really. It was the first date. Yeah.
00:10:36.000 Yeah. But I think it was when he told me, like you told me your background. You told me the
00:10:42.320 things that had happened to you in college or that you had done in college and you had
00:10:47.720 had a little bit of a rough past few years and you just wanted to be totally honest with
00:10:52.500 me. Even though I think it was before that maybe that I thought, okay, I could definitely
00:10:57.920 see myself marrying this person. It was then just his like total and complete vulnerability
00:11:02.100 with me. Like no pretense whatsoever. I was like, oh my gosh, this guy is different.
00:11:07.400 I mean, any of you who have been dating for any period of time or who have dated multiple guys,
00:11:14.180 you know that it's hard to find someone who is genuine and who is honest and who isn't afraid to
00:11:20.520 show their flaws or their faults. And I just loved that about him. Like there wasn't a part of me that
00:11:26.960 was like, oh, now that I know this stuff that you went through in college, like, is it really
00:11:32.420 something that I'm okay with? I thought that it showed a lot of character that he was that honest
00:11:37.160 that fast. It did not scare me or overwhelm me at all. Yeah. And I was thankful for that.
00:11:43.640 Yeah. And I remember like, I tried to respond by saying, well, you know, like here's some stuff that
00:11:48.620 I've done. Like I was stupid in college and he was literally like, please stop. Yeah. Like that
00:11:52.720 wasn't the intention. Like I'm telling you about this. You don't have to say anything else.
00:11:57.660 Yeah. And then, so we kept talking or whatever. Actually, I remember it was the beginning. It was
00:12:04.520 the beginning of November. I remember it was like the weekend of November 2nd. So it must've been
00:12:08.300 some time after that, but before our official first date, I don't remember. But, um, I went home
00:12:14.840 for a friend's wedding and, uh, you were texting me. He had finally gotten my number. You were texting me
00:12:20.920 and I texted you back and he just didn't text me back for like three days. And it wasn't one of
00:12:28.540 those texts. He's looking at me like, I don't know what I'm talking about. Well, I remember this.
00:12:33.460 It wasn't one of those texts that was like an end of conversation text. So I was a little bit
00:12:38.740 worried. That was like the one time I can look back and be like, what was happening? I don't know.
00:12:44.360 I was probably just trying not to bug you or something.
00:12:46.420 Yeah. Just trying to be cool. I didn't want to be too desperate. Yeah. Well, that changed really fast
00:12:51.220 for both of us because soon after that we were like all in a hundred percent. We went on our first
00:12:56.720 date. He took me to a Mexican restaurant. Yeah. Attached to a gas station. It was the best one in
00:13:02.580 Athens though. It was a great, it gets a bad rap because it is. It's a low bar. Low bar. Okay. So my thought
00:13:08.980 process was she's from Texas and she loves Mexican food. So I'm going to show her some subpar Mexican food. 0.99
00:13:15.360 Yeah. I didn't know that she likes Tex-Mex and that, that's the distinction. I failed to make.
00:13:19.780 Georgia people, they call it cheese dip and it's white. Yeah. It's true. That's okay. It was. 1.00
00:13:24.880 The food's not as good there. But it was cute. It was sweet. And it was my fault. I got a taco salad.
00:13:30.020 You did get a taco salad. Yeah. You didn't eat any of it. I, well, you know, that's my fault. I think
00:13:35.400 I was still in that stage where I like didn't want to eat a lot in front of him. That also changed
00:13:39.700 very quickly. But, and then what did we do after Mexican food? But I was very thankful that you went
00:13:45.080 with me that afternoon because I had also scored us great tickets to the Georgia Auburn game. It was,
00:13:50.980 it was going to be a fantastic time. And then you had a wedding to go to instead, but that was okay.
00:13:56.160 It was. Yeah. Because what did we do after the Mexican restaurant? We went and walked around
00:14:01.580 downtown Athens and it was great. That's all you want to say? Yeah. Okay. Well, well now it sounds
00:14:08.340 sketchy. Okay. I got a tattoo afterwards and that was something we had talked about doing and we had
00:14:14.680 made, you know, plans to do this thing. And I was like, all right, after our first date, after we
00:14:20.640 get lunch together, we went and got a tattoo and it was fantastic. He got a tattoo. Not like a tattoo
00:14:25.740 together. No, no. A tattoo that he had been wanting, you had been wanting to get. I had been wanting it, yeah.
00:14:29.600 And you had been talking to me about getting a tattoo for like the whole time that we had been
00:14:33.960 getting to know each other. And so we did do that on our first date. But I remember thinking as he
00:14:39.460 was getting his tattoo, like, this is going to be really weird if we don't end up getting married.
00:14:43.460 It's going to be a tough story to tell. This is going to be odd. But we did. And then after that,
00:14:48.680 someone asked, one of the questions was, how long did you guys date before you got married?
00:14:53.080 Five? Not long. Yeah. Five months. Five months. And then I proposed and it was a four-month
00:14:59.220 engagement. So. Four-month engagement. Real fast. Everyone's story is different. I don't recommend
00:15:04.900 that for every single person. But we just, I mean, we just knew. It's based on personality. We're
00:15:11.280 very much those type of people. Yeah. And we were ready. When we knew, we were ready to go in for it.
00:15:16.260 Yeah. And I haven't, I mean, obviously, but just in case anyone's wondering, like, I obviously
00:15:22.500 haven't looked, I haven't looked back. Absolutely not. I'm so thankful. So thankful. And someone did
00:15:27.600 ask, this would be a good transition. What is your favorite thing about the other person?
00:15:35.200 Hmm. Favorite thing about the other person. I've always about Allie that I've really loved
00:15:42.280 and that I loved in the beginning before she started doing what she does now was just her
00:15:47.420 drive and her ability to create out of nothing is what I call it. Essentially, she's always wanted to
00:15:54.220 be an entrepreneur. She's always had this entrepreneurial spirit and drive. And I really
00:15:58.780 like that about her. She's a self-starter, thousand percent. That's the reason why we're on this podcast 1.00
00:16:04.520 now, because you just had an inkling in your eye that you're, I'm just going to do something. And you
00:16:09.300 went and did it. And not a lot of people do that. And a lot of people have that drive. Like,
00:16:14.720 it's one thing to want the entrepreneur lifestyle. That's another thing to actually start it and to
00:16:18.800 get going for it. And that's one thing I've always loved about her. Thanks. What I love about
00:16:24.180 Timothy, there's a lot that I love about Timothy, obviously. That's why I knew I was going to marry
00:16:28.380 him from the very beginning. But the one thing that I really love is his discipline. Like once he sets
00:16:35.040 his mind to something, he's like, well, I'm just going to do this. And I always go back to the original
00:16:39.280 thing that I learned about him, which was that even though when I met him, he was like super in
00:16:44.060 shape, all into CrossFit. He told me that at one point he was not, that he was what you would call
00:16:50.920 skinny fat. Oh yeah, for sure. Skinny fat, a little chubby. Yeah. Wasn't in shape at all. And I remember
00:16:57.420 seeing pictures, but you decided to do something called the TB12 method. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:17:03.080 That's Tom Brady. What's he called? That's Tom Brady. It was something else, something I found
00:17:07.500 on the internet. This guy, small town program. I'm getting confused with all of the fitness things
00:17:12.920 that you have done over the years. Essentially, it was like a 70 day program. I was like, I've never
00:17:17.700 stuck to anything in my life. I'm going to this time. And I did. And it changed me completely. It
00:17:22.500 was really beneficial. Yeah. And you became like super healthy. And this is the reason why I love
00:17:26.700 fitness. Maybe not as much now. I'm probably not as fit as I was obviously in college, but
00:17:32.380 it just helped me out of a time when I was not feeling well. I made stupid mistakes. It's feeling
00:17:39.620 almost like in a state of depression or something like that. And it was what pulled me out of that
00:17:45.200 was being able to have a goal to work towards and be able to accomplish that. And it was, it was
00:17:50.660 helpful. You did. Like you started out not being able to like run a mile basically. Right. Yeah. And
00:17:56.380 then by the end of it, I mean, he's, you've done a lot and now he's still super in shape,
00:18:01.320 much more in shape than I am. But I love just his ability to set his mind to something. It's
00:18:06.100 the same thing at work. I also love that he takes care of the, like the managerial or the
00:18:12.400 administrative stuff, all the money stuff in our house. I am like a very much a big picture
00:18:16.760 person. And I don't like, I don't like little tasks that I don't feel like advance what I need
00:18:24.860 to do. And he is a very good caretaker of our home that I don't have to worry about that. You
00:18:31.880 know, obviously like bills are going to get paid that, uh, whoever, someone who is working for us
00:18:37.940 or working with us or did a service to us that they're going to get paid. Like he's just really
00:18:42.240 good about all that kind of stuff, which I think goes back to discipline too. And that is something
00:18:46.320 that I do not have. Yeah. Learned that, you know, it doesn't always come naturally, but
00:18:51.660 you know, if it doesn't, I don't do it. So nobody's going to be coming after us. So it's got to get
00:18:58.060 done. And he makes really good eggs, any kind of eggs that you want. Scrambled eggs, fried eggs.
00:19:04.260 Those are the only kind of eggs that I like, but you're good at it. Poached eggs. You can poach. I
00:19:09.040 don't like poached eggs, but I'll take his word for it. Someone did ask us which one of you is a
00:19:13.300 better cook and who usually makes dinner? Two different answers. He, I usually make dinner,
00:19:19.640 but I would say he is the better cook for most things. Maybe not for all things.
00:19:28.540 Yeah. I don't know. Maybe there's something that I make better than you, but he's, I would think he's,
00:19:33.560 I would say he's a really good cook. I do like cooking. Very messy cook. Very messy cook. I don't
00:19:38.260 like cleaning up after myself when I cook. Yeah. I enjoy cooking and, um, I got really good at it
00:19:44.720 whenever I was trying to eat healthy and it's like, Oh, you've got to be able to actually cook
00:19:49.960 something to make that happen. Yeah. Now it's, it's less of a, something I do. Yeah. And he's,
00:19:56.140 I mean, he's always like happy to cook, but he gets home pretty late from work. And so I always,
00:20:00.560 I'm not a bad cook. I'm not one of those people that's like, Oh my gosh, everything's on fire. I can't
00:20:05.140 cook. It doesn't taste good. I just am not as good at it as he is. He's also, you're much better
00:20:12.840 at watching things to where they all finish at the same time. I'm like, Oh, chicken's done about
00:20:17.520 an hour till the potatoes are ready. So that's not really good. That's also part of just me not.
00:20:23.380 That's what the microwave is for. That's what the microwave is for. Um, okay. Here's a money
00:20:29.400 question. Do we merge our earnings into one thing, one money pot this person says, or do we keep my
00:20:36.860 money and your money? Oh, good question. So yeah, we joint bank accounts in it together completely
00:20:43.000 joint, try to do budget meetings, uh, to make sure that we're, you know, on the same page with what
00:20:48.900 we're going to spend our money on, but it's definitely a joint endeavor. Um, got that from
00:20:53.680 Dave Ramsey, somebody that really listened to all, I listened to his stuff. I've read his books.
00:20:59.060 Yeah. I mean, it's just advocating for a married couple needs to have joint, joint accounts in my 0.99
00:21:03.860 opinion. And that's never been a problem for us. I mean, money is always, it can be a stressful
00:21:09.060 conversation and it probably was more at the beginning of our marriage when we had less money
00:21:13.900 than we do now. When we were, um, you know, like in the very beginning living in Athens, basically
00:21:20.640 college students. Yeah. Neither of us were making very much money at all. And that was a much more,
00:21:25.420 and we were also making stupid decisions with our money. I mean, we were eating out as much then as
00:21:29.780 we do now, but we have more money now than we did then. Yeah. And we would be, we were stressed
00:21:36.560 whenever we talked about money. For sure. Now it's, it's better. And I think that's what helps with the
00:21:41.360 joint accounts or merging your finances together. This question is worded because it makes it to where
00:21:48.300 that's a less difficult conversation to have. And it keeps from one person having their own side and
00:21:55.880 their own money problems that you don't know about. There's less secrets involved. Yeah. Secrecy. And I
00:22:00.860 do think that there's, especially in a Christian marriage where God makes it clear that you are not 0.98
00:22:05.500 just one flesh, but you are also one in spirit and you are on the same path. You may be do doing two
00:22:11.020 different things. Like I have one job, he has another job, but this mentality of, well, hey,
00:22:16.260 I earned this money or, well, I'm the one, either one of you, I'm the one who brings home the most
00:22:21.880 money. So are you really going to tell me that I can't buy this? That kind of mentality, although
00:22:26.740 we've probably fallen into that, it is a sinful mentality because it causes bitterness and it causes
00:22:34.760 resentment. And, um, it's just, it's not unifying. Yeah. I think that's what marriage is for is to
00:22:43.280 help each other whenever one person is down or one person is in sickness and in health, it says,
00:22:49.100 you know, you got to be able to be there for the person no matter what. I think it's the same with
00:22:52.660 money. It's for rich or for poor. Well, if you're not in it together and one person is out of work or
00:22:58.840 something, but that's their money, then I don't feel like that's a good way to live it. Now,
00:23:03.880 obviously I feel like in those scenarios, people, married people are going to help each other out,
00:23:07.320 even if it is separate accounts. I'm not saying people with separate accounts don't help each
00:23:10.280 other, but, um, I find it easier when you just think this is our pool together. Yeah. And we're
00:23:16.180 both contributing to it, contributing to it. And this is what we're supposed to do. And we've both
00:23:20.060 had stages to where like very, there's been two stages where I didn't have like a steady paycheck
00:23:26.240 because I've been transitioning from one job to the other, or I was trying to get my footing in,
00:23:31.140 in this job. And he, um, he has always had a steady paycheck, but there have been times
00:23:38.000 also where like, I've had to, you know, like we've needed to cut into the money that I earned
00:23:44.120 to help pay for something. And so it really is, it has to be the mentality that this is ours,
00:23:50.100 that we are one person. We're on the same team. We're not competing against one another. And that
00:23:55.200 also helps you be proud of one another for whatever accomplishes you have, not saying, well,
00:23:59.300 how much did you make this month? That's just not healthy in my opinion. Definitely. Um, speaking
00:24:06.140 of podcasts, someone asked about what podcasts you listened to specifically. And if there's any
00:24:13.140 we listen to together, you said, we do listen to Dave Ramsey together. We do. Yeah. That's a great
00:24:17.120 question. I love podcasts like almost too much to where, you know, it's always in my ear and I can't
00:24:21.760 just think of something, have my own thoughts sometimes, but I do. Obviously I love this podcast.
00:24:26.980 I love listening to what Allie has to say about culture and politics. I keep up with it as much
00:24:32.700 as I can with political, on the political side, but then the, the breath of fresh air with the
00:24:37.780 theology, theological side, I really find fun and interesting. And I like your take on culture, but
00:24:43.560 outside of this podcast, I listen daily. I try to listen to in the mornings, two podcasts that
00:24:50.320 wall street journal puts out what's news and your money briefing. It just keeps me up to date.
00:24:54.380 I work in the financial world. So that's why that's interesting to me. And I like to stay up
00:24:58.500 to date. Um, that Dave Ramsey, we listened to that one together, mostly on airplanes whenever we're
00:25:04.300 flying together. Yeah. He is, you know, he has AirPods. He's one of those people. And so I take
00:25:09.760 one of the AirPods and I put it in my ear. Yeah. And it's always good to hear about other people's
00:25:14.040 questions and struggles and, and how you can, how you can learn from that. Um, other things I like
00:25:19.760 sports podcast a ton. And I'll even listen to sports podcasts with him. Like he, you were listening to
00:25:24.940 a golf podcast a couple of weeks ago. No laying up. It's a great podcast. Yeah. I know. I mean,
00:25:29.840 I did used to play golf, but I don't want to listen to golf podcasts, but I'll listen to just about
00:25:33.400 anything with him. Um, okay. What's a good way to find like-minded conservative Christians in the
00:25:40.000 dating world. I mean, that's, it's, it's obviously our story isn't necessarily the most relatable to
00:25:48.260 anyone because it was just kind of a matter of, oh my gosh, we found this person and we didn't
00:25:53.880 realize that that's what we were looking for. But I do have a lot of friends. I have friends that are
00:25:59.020 single that are kind of in the same boat. And I think it's just a matter of being a part of
00:26:05.000 communities and being a part of places where other Christian people are. I'm not sure it's
00:26:09.520 something that you can force. Of course, some people have had, um, success with dating online,
00:26:16.260 and I'm certainly not going to categorically condemn that, but I also have seen a lot of
00:26:21.920 luck and just really healthy starts of relationships with people who have found someone at church. So
00:26:27.520 you already have that kind of core commonality who have found someone through a friend who have been
00:26:33.640 part of like chamber of commerce or junior chamber of commerce in their area, just being a part of
00:26:39.280 groups where other like-minded people are. And I know that might not be the most satisfying answer.
00:26:46.020 Of course, that's something that you can also pray for as well. Now I've talked about on this podcast,
00:26:52.140 not making you, uh, like a future husband or a future wife in idol, because the Bible does say,
00:26:59.020 um, it's better to be single than to be married. As long as you can stay away from temptation,
00:27:04.180 uh, sexual temptation outside of marriage to fully dedicate yourself to the Lord. And so you can,
00:27:09.700 of course, find full contentment in Christ, um, without being married. It's not wrong to desire
00:27:14.540 being married. It's not wrong to want a spouse or to be looking for a spouse, but I do think it's a
00:27:19.960 balance of constantly praying that God would grant you contentment in Christ because he has already
00:27:25.260 offered us that, but also, um, if it is his well, that he would put you in the right situation or
00:27:31.780 give you the right opportunity to meet the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with.
00:27:36.100 I think that's, there's nothing wrong with that. Yeah. Would you add anything to that or no? No,
00:27:40.460 I agree with you there. I think like you're saying, it's being active in the places where you
00:27:44.120 think you might find those people is, is a valuable, a valuable way to try to meet that. I think that's
00:27:49.740 also an easy answer to give. So it's not really too much insight, but yeah, but there's no math. I
00:27:54.820 mean, it's so different for every person that it's really hard. It's hard to say, well, this is the
00:28:00.160 one way that you do it. Yeah. Cause it is very different. Um, which one of you is responsible for
00:28:05.820 washing the car, washing the car, me, um, definitely me. I am in charge of, I'm just kidding.
00:28:14.420 I'm kidding. I'm not, I will never wash my car. No, I think the, the local car
00:28:19.620 washing place down the street is, uh, we'd just take it through there, zip it through.
00:28:23.780 But it's you, you're the one that makes sure. It's me that does it. Yeah. Like the $6 wash
00:28:27.580 just gets it and then I'll go and vacuum it out. So I do that with our cars. Yeah. And he's very
00:28:31.760 frustrated with me when he looks at my car. He's like, your car is disgusting. Yeah. And the car
00:28:36.580 wash is right there. But see, that's one of those, that's one of those menial tasks that I don't want
00:28:42.260 to do. Cause I'm a typical millennial in a lot of ways and I don't want to be inconvenienced.
00:28:46.340 Yeah. Um, okay. One person asked how pregnancy has changed our relationship for better or for
00:28:51.640 worse. Hmm. I think it's been what I've liked and this is for the good. It's the excitement
00:28:58.600 of the pregnancy. It's like, it's given us something else or another person to be talking
00:29:03.920 about. It's like, Oh, the baby girl is coming. It's like, we're going to, and then like talk
00:29:07.960 about her and think about how she's going to be and speculate on what she's going to be
00:29:12.560 like. And yeah. And then the whole planning of, you know, where is she going to sleep
00:29:17.060 in our house? And what are we going to do? And why do we have so many animals? And why
00:29:21.220 do we have so many animals? That's what we ask ourselves every night. Why do we have so
00:29:24.980 many animals? We have three animals. If you don't already know, we have two cats and a dog.
00:29:29.620 We have Reagan. That's our dog. She's our mutt. And we have Rachel McAdams, the OG, the cat
00:29:35.500 that we got when we first got married that he named. And then we've got sweatpants, the totally
00:29:39.760 superfluous animal that we did not need, but who is also our best behaved animal. That's
00:29:45.280 the other cat, sweatpants. We have really odd names. They're great names. They're endearing.
00:29:51.400 Yeah. And they're great animals. But yeah. So I think as far as pregnancy, I mean, it's
00:30:00.880 changed for the better. I think we're excited. Someone did ask how we decided when we were
00:30:07.940 going to have kids. How did we make that decision?
00:30:11.360 I think for me, and I think this would be the same for you, it was just, I think it was
00:30:17.160 just natural. It's like, this feels right. We're both comfortable. We had just moved out
00:30:21.920 in Texas. Not just moved out, but we had moved out here. We were getting our feet planted
00:30:26.760 here.
00:30:27.380 Yeah.
00:30:27.780 We had our house. We knew we weren't going anywhere for a little bit. And I had a stable
00:30:33.140 job. You had a stable job for the first time. Well, not the first time, but you knew what
00:30:38.740 you were in for good.
00:30:39.860 Yeah. It was like a career.
00:30:41.160 Yeah.
00:30:41.500 And I think it was just time.
00:30:44.020 Yeah.
00:30:44.320 You just knew.
00:30:45.320 Well, we had kind of planned. I wrote in my goals journal at the beginning of 2018 that
00:30:53.160 maybe we would start trying at the end of 2018. And obviously, it happened a lot sooner
00:30:59.420 than that. It was just, there was actually like an opportunity that I was entertaining
00:31:03.360 at a network and I had filmed a pilot for a network. And I told myself, okay, like I
00:31:11.240 don't want to try until I know whether or not this pilot is actually going to become a
00:31:17.020 show. And it didn't become a show. Thank goodness. I mean, there would be nothing wrong
00:31:23.400 with that. It would have been an awesome opportunity, but thank goodness because we ended up getting
00:31:27.340 pregnant and everything has worked out really well. So God's timing and God's plan is obviously
00:31:34.840 always better than ours, but it just kind of like, it just kind of happens. Now it wasn't
00:31:40.180 terribly easy for us to get pregnant. Actually, it wasn't a lot of people. It's like, okay,
00:31:45.480 first time got pregnant for us. It was a few months. I had thyroid issues. I had a kidney
00:31:52.740 issue. It was kind of on and off. And we had kind of decided when we did get pregnant,
00:31:58.340 okay, let's just not try anymore. Let's not try because I was, you know, it had been five
00:32:03.960 months or however long of trying and it hadn't happened. So I was like, you know what? Maybe
00:32:08.580 it's just not time. It's just not time right now. And so I don't want to worry about it.
00:32:12.160 I don't want to be stressed out about it. I don't want to track on the app and all this
00:32:15.580 stuff. It's just too, it's too much pressure. I don't want to think about it. And it was kind
00:32:19.580 of like, as soon as I just said, let's stop thinking about it, that it ended up happening.
00:32:25.520 So when it did happen, even though we had been trying technically, I was really surprised.
00:32:31.580 So we're very grateful for that. Yeah, absolutely. She's going to be here really soon.
00:32:39.600 Let's see. What is something that you didn't know about each other until you got married?
00:32:49.580 You go ahead. I feel like even though we only knew each other for a short amount of time,
00:32:55.500 I feel like I knew a lot about you because he's pretty messy. But I knew that because he lived in
00:33:04.480 an apartment with three other guys when I first met him. And that was disgusting. It was disgusting.
00:33:12.520 It was gross. If any of those guys are listening to this podcast, I don't even care. It was disgusting.
00:33:17.620 I don't even know. But I would still go over there because I was a nice girlfriend. And I would still
00:33:23.280 eat the food that you cooked in that disgusting kitchen. Now, thankfully, you're not like that
00:33:28.420 anymore. Yeah, not that bad. No, it was just the combination, I think, of four guys living together
00:33:33.800 probably. Absolutely. But I don't know if I found out anything new. It was four guys and the rent was
00:33:40.640 like less than $200 a month. You snore. And you said I could say that on the podcast. So I'm not just
00:33:45.660 trying to embarrass you. But yeah, he does snore. But that's okay. I forgive you for that. Is there
00:33:52.140 anything that you didn't know about me? Well, I mean, I knew that you were going to do something
00:33:59.320 cool with your life. I knew it was going to be, all right, she's talented. She's special. She's
00:34:05.140 different. I knew that you were going to do something great. But I figured it would just be
00:34:09.320 like, okay, PR. You were going to start your own PR company one day or you were going to do something
00:34:14.440 like that. I don't know. I had no idea it was going to take off into this field of politics or this
00:34:19.180 field of being an influencer of any type. And I think that was the big surprise for me. I'm not
00:34:26.340 surprised. What I found out about you. Yeah. And I don't think either of us did. When we first got
00:34:31.020 married, I wasn't doing this. It wasn't until after we got married that I even started speaking to
00:34:36.800 sororities. So he's been along for that ride. And one thing, even though this wasn't a question that
00:34:42.360 was asked, but one thing that I love about him, actually someone did ask about like competing
00:34:47.260 interests or something. But one thing that I love about him is that he's always been
00:34:51.000 so supportive of everything that I want to do. Actually, actually, I'll take that back. You have
00:34:57.240 been very supportive of this career, but every time I have a divergent dream, I'm like, oh, I want to
00:35:03.160 start a biscuit company. I want to open this kind of fitness place. He's like, no, no, you're not
00:35:10.840 doing that. That's keeping you grounded. Yes. He does keep me grounded. Because like he said,
00:35:16.340 I do have an entrepreneurial spirit. I am really good. I'll just say it. I'm really good at coming
00:35:22.320 up with ideas for businesses. If you want an idea for a business, come to me. I truly believe. I'm one
00:35:27.900 of those people that can, that believes. I like believe in you and I believe in people. That's
00:35:32.660 one of the things I love. I like, I love encouraging people and I love calling out people's talents and
00:35:37.100 be like, this is the name of your company. This is what you need to do. And you just need to run for
00:35:42.360 it. Like I would love to just have a service where I do that for people. But I also sometimes do that
00:35:48.440 with myself. I'm like, I have a great idea for biscuit carts and I really do have a good idea.
00:35:54.380 So if anyone wants to take that over, let me know. But he is really good at saying like,
00:35:59.360 you know, we need to stay on track. Here are the good parts that you need to keep pursuing.
00:36:03.900 But as far as this media career, he has been so supportive and that's just not true of all guys.
00:36:13.040 Like I just think that marrying someone who is secure in himself and secure in his own strengths
00:36:20.120 and strong and able to encourage me and has never been threatened by anything that I do or threatened
00:36:27.020 by the fact that I'm super opinionated. That was really important to me and I've never felt that.
00:36:32.600 Again, I think that would cause resentment against, between us. Someone asked if you are as passionate
00:36:39.200 about politics and stuff as I am. I would say no, just because it's not what I do professionally.
00:36:44.980 So I don't, I'm not as passionate about it, but am I, am I not up to date or do I, do I not keep up
00:36:53.420 with politics? That's no either. I mean, I do keep up with it and I do, I do read plenty about it and
00:37:00.540 it does get me worked up and fired up for sure, but I'm less opinionated about it. I don't even know
00:37:05.580 if that's true. You do have a lot of opinions. You might not tweet them. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, for sure.
00:37:10.380 You do have a lot of opinions. I tell them to you. Yes, he does. And thankfully, someone asked
00:37:15.520 a question about like divergent or differing political views. I think it would be hard if
00:37:21.900 you're both passionate about politics, it would be hard to marry someone who has different views.
00:37:26.280 Now, if neither of you really care and you have some differences, okay. But it would like,
00:37:31.480 it would be hard for me to ever be, to ever have been with someone who wasn't a conservative.
00:37:38.040 Yeah, definitely. But I got lucky because his entire family is conservative. Okay. One question
00:37:44.500 is, how do we honor God in marriage or keep Christ the center of our marriage?
00:37:51.480 Yeah, that's a good question. I think, yeah. It's something that we work to do and improve
00:37:58.800 on, I would say, every day. Yeah. I've heard you say this before to the listeners, but trying
00:38:03.480 to read particular things. So we have a devotional and read at night. That's just like what you
00:38:10.260 have to do to be centered, but I think it helps us. And we try to read that almost every night. And
00:38:16.080 trying to be in the Word separately is really the key factor because it doesn't come down to
00:38:24.200 what you can do together always. Because at the end of the day, your relationship with Christ is
00:38:28.620 a personal thing. But then that will bleed into your marriage. So if Christ is the center of your
00:38:34.520 life, then Christ will be the center of your marriage just by proxy.
00:38:39.460 Yeah. And I think we also really try to talk to each other, not always, like we can definitely get
00:38:45.700 better at this, but talk to each other about what the other person is learning and talk about how we
00:38:53.340 can pray for the other person. And he's always really good at, if I'm worried about something or
00:38:59.060 if I'm distressed about something, like we've been having a hard time and my family for the past
00:39:04.880 couple of years, and he's had, uh, he's been really good about saying, okay, well, can I pray for you?
00:39:10.600 Or let's just pray about it right now. Or just kind of starts praying. That's not something that comes
00:39:15.560 as naturally to me. And he's been really good about that. And I just always know that he is
00:39:22.740 going to point me in that direction. And I think that he feels the same way.
00:39:27.700 Yeah. Another practical means just outside of the answers of praying and reading the scripture
00:39:33.120 together. I feel like that's a common answer to that. One that I've found has been beneficial is also
00:39:40.620 relates back to an earlier question about money. What you do with your money, how you give your
00:39:47.260 money, knowing that money can drive certain behaviors in people, um, is a way to stay grounded
00:39:54.200 and centered in Christ, I think. And I find living within your means on a budget and giving generously
00:40:00.680 and ferociously, I think has been, or can be a key tenant to a thriving Christ-centered marriage.
00:40:08.140 Yeah. It feels good to be contributing to the same causes together and to say, okay,
00:40:14.160 we're making a difference in this area or to these people. And like, we always agree on that. We always
00:40:20.220 decide, okay, this is how much we want to give and this is who we want to give to.
00:40:22.840 And that's not just financially either. It's just service, serving other people and serving other
00:40:26.480 groups that can help not only you as a person, but then together with your spouse and we'll help
00:40:31.780 your marriage out.
00:40:32.400 Yeah. And that's something, all of these things are areas that we can improve on and are improving
00:40:37.960 on all the time. We certainly don't have it figured out.
00:40:40.160 For sure. Yeah.
00:40:41.240 Um, okay. Last question. There's so many questions that we didn't get to. And so we'll just have to
00:40:45.300 do this again because thankfully he can't get away from me. He's married to me. And so he's permanent
00:40:51.120 podcast guest. Sorry. Um, so we'll get to some more questions hopefully in a future episode,
00:40:57.020 but last question. What is your favorite part about being married? Favorite part about being
00:41:03.740 married? Yeah. It's going to be a little cheesy, but, uh, having your best friend at your house
00:41:09.640 constantly is pretty cool. Like being able to be like, okay, I want to watch a movie. Oh,
00:41:15.580 somebody else will watch a movie with me. Yeah. Most likely. Sometimes you won't because you have
00:41:20.240 work or something or vice versa, but whenever you're going into your endeavors, spring is tough for movie
00:41:26.420 watching. Cause there's always a sport that he needs to watch. I mean, basketball is winding down,
00:41:31.540 baseball starting up, golf is in full swing. Yeah. Literally. But I mean, even in that though,
00:41:39.060 I mean, that's my favorite thing too. Even in that, like, I mean, I don't really like watching
00:41:43.080 sports that much, especially not basketball, but I love just being in his presence. I really do.
00:41:49.380 Like if I'm doing something else, if I have to work on my computer, I don't want to go in my room.
00:41:53.060 I don't want to go in another room by myself. Like I just like being with him. Like I genuinely hate
00:41:58.500 when he leaves for work and it's good because I wouldn't get anything done because we would just
00:42:03.140 be hanging out all day. But I just love hanging out with him and just the freedom of being married.
00:42:12.080 It's different than being boyfriend and girlfriend and living together. We did not live together before
00:42:16.800 we were married, but, um, it's, it's different than that because you have this security that no
00:42:23.920 matter what, at your very worst, no matter how freaking annoying you are. I mean, people just
00:42:28.560 go through like annoying stages of life. It's like, wow, you've just been really annoying about that
00:42:32.620 one thing recently, whatever it is. I'm talking about myself here, but that person, they're not
00:42:38.340 going to leave like in a Christian marriage. Like it is to have and to hold from this day forward, 0.98
00:42:43.220 sickness and health, riches, rich or poor, whatever it is. The only thing that separates you is death
00:42:49.320 and having that assurance of waking up to that person every morning, having that constancy and
00:42:54.440 that unconditional love. I say to, I tell people this all the time, sorry, I know I'm going long,
00:43:00.240 but there's just a lot that I love about being married to him. I don't think that I would have
00:43:05.180 started what I do. I don't think I would have had the confidence to do what I do without him.
00:43:11.640 And it's not because he was constantly telling me, Hey, you need to start something.
00:43:15.520 But just because he gives me confidence just in his unconditional love of me that I've never felt
00:43:21.000 like I'm too much. Like I'm not enough. Like I need to be a certain way. Like I need to look a
00:43:25.400 certain way. Like I need to act a certain way or to impress him in a certain regard. I've never felt
00:43:32.060 like that. I've always felt like this person loves me for everything that I am. He knows everything
00:43:36.980 to know about me that they're, that I even know to know. And he loves me and doesn't judge me. And
00:43:44.740 is, it's just unconditional support. And because of that, I have so much confidence to do the things
00:43:52.080 that I, to do the things that I do because I have that anchor.
00:43:56.080 You always have a cheerleader whenever, like in this marriage or in a marriage, you know,
00:44:01.720 you have somebody that's there to support you, there to love you, but they're also to like give
00:44:07.020 you a swift kick if you need it. And you're like, Hey, I'm in a funk right now. You can,
00:44:12.500 can you remind me of who I am? Or like you would just naturally do that. Just be like, okay,
00:44:16.020 this is who you are. This is what you have. This is who you are in Christ. And knowing that you can
00:44:21.560 still get over and still accomplish the things that you need to accomplish.
00:44:25.000 Yeah. No matter how you're feeling really.
00:44:27.280 Yeah. We both do that for each other. We both try to remind each other, like you have so much
00:44:33.360 potential and so much talent. God has given you so much and you need to use it. We try, we try to
00:44:40.540 encourage each other to be good stewards of all the things that God has graciously given us.
00:44:45.000 Sometimes we're stupid and we spend three hours watching Netflix instead.
00:44:48.260 Yeah. Spend three hours watching Netflix, order food from somewhere. Like definitely happens. We're not.
00:44:53.460 Yeah. We try to encourage each other in discipline. Um, but yeah, I just, I love being married. It's
00:45:01.820 the best. It's really great. Uh, okay. Well, I guess that's a good note to end on. Thank you guys so
00:45:07.080 much for watching and listening. Uh, subscribe on YouTube. My channel name is Allie Beth Stuckey. So if
00:45:13.560 you're listening to this, uh, you can watch it. Or if you're watching this video, make sure that you
00:45:17.300 click subscribe, uh, you can listen to this on iTunes, on Spotify, on Google play, all kinds of
00:45:24.380 places. You can follow me on social media. If you like this podcast, please consider leaving a five
00:45:29.160 star review on iTunes helps me out a lot. If you've got any questions or constructive criticism, I take
00:45:33.880 that stuff seriously. So please email me Allie at the conservative millennial blog.com. And I will see you
00:45:39.520 guys on Monday.