Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - Ep 984 ｜ Do 30-Year-Old Women 'Hit a Wall'？

00:00:00.000 An OnlyFans star has become a Christian. Is it sincere? The internet is weighing in. 0.89

00:00:07.320 Also, have 30-year-old women hit a wall? Are they no longer attractive in the dating pool? 1.00

00:00:14.400 We've got all of this and much more on today's episode of Relatable.

00:00:17.440 Hey guys, welcome to Relatable. Happy Thursday. Hope everyone is having a wonderful week so far.

00:00:33.260 So I didn't get to address this yesterday because it was an interview episode. Go listen to that if

00:00:38.840 you haven't already. I just know that it's going to help a specific person out there who needed to

00:00:44.020 hear that conversation. Go listen to it. Watch it if you haven't. But my Tuesday comment that I said

00:00:49.640 in passing that I don't believe in a pre-trib rapture, it got a lot of you very shaken up.

00:00:59.080 And I got a lot of inquisitive comments and messages. Some of you were very angry about it.

00:01:04.480 But most of you, the vast majority of comments and messages that I received asking me about that,

00:01:09.540 we're very respectful and just curious why I believe that. And we're not going to get into

00:01:15.080 that today. I do have an episode on it. It's from 2019, though. And that was my first maternity

00:01:21.440 leave. I was a new, fresh podcaster at that point. And while the material is good, I think the content

00:01:29.320 and the direction and the organization of the episode is good. And I still believe all of those

00:01:34.700 things. It is really difficult. It's really difficult for me, at least, to go back and listen

00:01:40.260 to those episodes from that era. So many things. I'm used to listening to my voice now, because I've

00:01:48.200 just done this so much. But going back and listening to old episodes, listening to the editing, the audio,

00:01:53.620 and just my ability as a host and just, oh my goodness, so many things, so many things. We've come a

00:02:00.220 long way, related gals and related bros. But I still think that it's helpful information. I researched

00:02:07.020 a lot for that episode and relied on a lot of very reliable, trustworthy sources. So you can go back

00:02:13.960 and listen to that. But I will do another episode explaining all of the different eschatological views,

00:02:20.420 pre-mill, post-mill, ah-mill, pre-mill, pre-trib, post-trib, pre-mill, all of that stuff. If you have no

00:02:29.060 idea what I'm talking about, that's fine. And the important thing to remember is that in all of these

00:02:35.340 views, everyone who holds a particular view believes that they are doing so based on scripture. And this

00:02:42.520 is not a salvation issue, and yet it is very important for us to study it because it increases

00:02:48.740 our anticipation and it informs how we behave today. So sometime soon, I will do another eschatology

00:02:56.580 episode. And some of you who are post-mill, you've said, oh, have a post-mill person on. I have. I had

00:03:02.840 Jeff Durbin on. We had a two-part series. We talked about this, I think, in 2020 or 2021. Chances are,

00:03:10.860 if there is a subject that you want me to address that I probably already have. Not that we've talked

00:03:17.240 about everything from every angle, but we're almost at a thousand episodes. So we've talked about most

00:03:21.560 subjects. And the easiest way to verify this is to type in wherever you listen to your podcast. I

00:03:27.740 think this is easier on Apple Podcasts than it is on YouTube or Spotify. If you type in relatable and

00:03:33.780 then the subject that you're looking for, typically it comes up. So if you type in relatable in times,

00:03:39.280 that episode will come up. If you type in relatable, critical race theory or whatever,

00:03:45.300 those episodes will come up. So that's just a little helpful tip for you. I know, I know. It

00:03:51.100 is very disconcerting to hear that your favorite Southern Baptist podcaster does not believe in the

00:03:58.040 pre-trib rapture. And yet, and yet, we will talk about it fully soon. All right. We've got a lot to

00:04:05.000 get through today. I've been wanting to talk about all of these subjects. I don't even think we're going

00:04:08.660 to get through all of the things that I want to talk about. But I want to chime in on this online

00:04:13.860 discourse about women in their 30s hitting a wall, if you will. Now, this has been a conversation

00:04:21.420 among what I would call like manosphere red pillars for a while. And there is a group of people online

00:04:28.400 who fall into this category, maybe not everyone who falls into this category, but certainly a subset of

00:04:33.540 this category, who truly just don't like women. It's not that they're anti-feminist. It's not that

00:04:39.580 they just think the divorce laws or family court are unfair. It's not just that. It's not like all

00:04:45.500 these thoughtful critiques. Again, some of them probably have some thoughtful critiques. But a lot

00:04:51.600 of them don't. They really just don't like women. And they really feel that women are the drivers and

00:05:00.540 even the source of all of society's problems. And they spend a lot of time demeaning women, 0.96

00:05:08.040 what they look like, what they sound like, what they think like. And they're extremely crass,

00:05:13.920 extremely crude, extremely rude. And they participate and peddle in the worst kind of

00:05:20.540 identity politics. And then when the polls come around, you know, after an election, and they see,

00:05:27.940 well, the majority of women are leaning left or they're voting Democrat, they cry about that. 0.99

00:05:33.820 And they say, well, see, they're driving all of society's problems, but they are doing the exact

00:05:39.480 opposite of attracting women to their ideas. So this has kind of been a conversation about women 0.93

00:05:45.960 hitting their wall for a while. And the wall is basically the point at which women, and apparently 1.00

00:05:53.460 this doesn't really exist for men, the women reach the point where they are no longer getting more

00:05:59.300 attractive or gaining more value in the eyes of a potential mate and are kind of on the back end.

00:06:07.520 So they're on the downhill. Their looks are getting worse. The attraction or attractiveness that they

00:06:16.280 have to a guy is getting less and less, and they are no longer seen as kind of the cream of the crop.

00:06:23.900 They've passed their prime. And there are some disagreements about what this age is. Some

00:06:29.740 people say it's 26. Some people say it's 30. Some people say it's 35. Some people say

00:06:35.180 it's 40. And so there are some conversations, some kind of interesting, some not interesting at all,

00:06:44.020 and just downright objectifying and degrading happening online. And this was reignited over the

00:06:51.560 last week or so because of some comments that conservative Charlie Kirk made. And I'm going

00:06:58.920 to talk about not only what he said, but I'm going to give context to what he said, because

00:07:03.660 I think that that's missing in a lot of these conversations. And my response won't really be

00:07:09.780 to as much what he said specifically, but to just the conversation and the topic as a whole that I think

00:07:15.700 is actually really important for my audience in particular that I know is made up of mostly women.

00:07:23.460 There's plenty of related bros out there, but mostly women. Most of you are married. A lot of you are 0.64

00:07:29.140 moms, but many of you are not. And it's hard enough out there. And I just want to make sure that we are

00:07:38.240 on the same page as Christian women when it comes to your value, your calling, and your responsibility. 0.82

00:07:46.040 And we can drown out some of the unhelpful chatter, but also maybe take some difficult truths and apply

00:07:55.360 them where needed. So first, let's talk about what Charlie Kirk said. He runs Turning Point USA,

00:08:01.420 and I consider Charlie a friend. He has been on the podcast many times. We have spoken together. I

00:08:08.760 speak at Turning Point events several times a year. He is truly one of the smartest and most

00:08:15.240 articulate guys out there. You should go listen to the Whatever podcast that Charlie was on. He did

00:08:20.980 such a great job of sharing the gospel and defending the faith. But recently, he was at an event,

00:08:25.920 and he was answering questions. It was a Q&A. And he made this comment about women in their 30s that

00:08:34.820 ended up kind of going viral, generating a lot of controversy on X. Here's top one.

00:08:41.160 We basically told a great generation of young women, don't get married, don't have kids, 0.77

00:08:46.100 go get a corporate job. And it's created mass political hysteria. And then in their early 30s,

00:08:52.680 they get really upset because they say, you know, the boys don't want to date me anymore

00:08:56.600 because they're not at their prime. And people get mad when I say that, which is true. If you're

00:09:00.540 in your early 30s, I'm sorry. It's like you're not as attractive in the dating pool as you were in

00:09:03.900 the early 20s. But again, you have your corporate job in Cats. So I thought, you know.

00:09:09.400 All right. All right. I got a lot to say to that.

00:09:22.680 All right. He also had some other comments about birth control, that it really screws up female

00:09:28.660 brains. And he encouraged people to make sure that their loved ones are not on birth control. And

00:09:35.240 look, like I agree with a lot of what Charlie Kirk said. And actually, in context, I probably agree

00:09:41.660 with all of it in a sense, in a sense. So let me explain exactly what I mean by that. Let's break

00:09:50.100 down his comments a little bit. So this generation of women, I would say generations of women have 1.00

00:09:56.140 been fed this idea that it is more important for you to make money and to be independent and to live

00:10:03.020 on your own in your 20s and your 30s. And then you are going to find a guy who wants to marry you. 0.91

00:10:09.840 You're going to settle down. You're going to be able to have kids. And you can spend the next 10 to

00:10:14.160 20 years doing it all or balancing both. And that is a lie that has absolutely caused mass hysteria.

00:10:23.780 That is a lie that has caused a lot of disappointment and devastation when women reach the age of 35

00:10:30.380 and they realize if they have purposely put their career first and put off commitment, put off

00:10:37.040 marriage, put off dating, put off having kids, only to realize then that the guys around them

00:10:44.900 at 35 years old are not dating 35 year olds, but they are dating the 27 year old who is not deciding

00:10:51.860 to put her career first. Or the 35 year old realizes that, oh, my chances now of getting pregnant 0.90

00:10:59.260 are a lot lower than they were 10 years ago. Did I mess this all up? And now possibly I'm

00:11:05.580 being told that I have to harvest my eggs. I have to freeze them and I have to go through IVF. That's

00:11:11.840 a lot on someone's body. And of course, we won't get into the ethics of all of that right now,

00:11:16.800 as we've talked about many, many times, the problems with IVF. But that is the dilemma that a lot of

00:11:22.540 women are facing. So that is what Charlie is speaking to. Now, if I were to take this out of

00:11:30.380 context and just respond to the part where he said, well, you said that you were fine with your

00:11:37.560 corporate job and you're a cat, so that's okay. I want to address that to you because he is speaking

00:11:45.000 to a certain kind of woman that I just described who intentionally chose her career over settling down, 0.85

00:11:53.440 over getting married and having kids. But if I am speaking to you, I know that that last comment

00:12:00.660 doesn't apply to you or to most of you. I would venture to guess that the vast majority of you

00:12:08.540 listening to this show that are in your late 20s or your 30s and you are unmarried and you don't have

00:12:14.480 kids, that you are not in this situation because you want to be. You are not in this situation,

00:12:20.380 most likely, because you imbibed feminist propaganda and you put your career first and 1.00

00:12:26.880 you became this girl boss who had her blinders on and wasn't interested in a relationship or 0.98

00:12:33.280 interested in having kids. If you're listening to this podcast, my guess is that you are single

00:12:38.900 because that is the circumstance, that is the situation that God has placed you in. And it is not

00:12:45.600 for lack of trying. It is not for lack of preparing. It is not for lack of praying that you are right

00:12:52.680 now in this season of singleness. And so hearing something like you're 30 and you're past your prime

00:13:01.500 and you're not as attractive to men, that is understandably extremely offensive and extremely

00:13:10.820 hurtful. Now, some of it is just plain true in that, yes, we become less fertile over the age

00:13:19.280 of 35. That is just true. And unfortunately, I mean, it is true that a lot of men in their 30s are

00:13:28.240 looking to date women in their 20s. That is just, I think, a fact of reality that many women have to

00:13:37.720 reckon with. But listen, this is also true. That God has written every single day of your life before

00:13:46.280 any of them came to be. That God is completely sovereign. Romans 8.28 is still true. That God works

00:13:55.320 everything together for the good of those who love him and are called according to his purpose.

00:14:02.320 It is also true that God sees you. That God hears you. That he has not forgotten about you. That he

00:14:09.880 knows even better than you do the desires of your heart. And he knows what today holds, what tomorrow

00:14:17.500 holds, what the future holds. And he has done more difficult things than bringing a woman, a husband

00:14:25.140 at the age of 35. That is not too hard for him. That is not too difficult for him. That is not

00:14:31.820 too much of an obstacle for him to overcome. And I know that Charlie Kirk, by the way, would agree with

00:14:40.400 that. And so before we take offense to his comments, we have to understand the context of what he's talking

00:14:45.800 about in critiquing feminism, critiquing the propagandistic lies that a lot of young women have 1.00

00:14:50.840 heard and the consequence of those lies. And the particular kind of woman that he's talking about,

00:14:57.640 again, that has intentionally chosen to put off marriage and children and all of that. But when I

00:15:04.480 am speaking to you, Christian woman, and all the Christian women that I know in my life who are

00:15:10.440 wonderful, who would make and hopefully will make wonderful wives and moms, like I know that those 1.00

00:15:18.700 comments are hurtful to you in your particular situation. And I just want to remind you of God's

00:15:26.820 goodness and of God's total power and total control and total sovereignty. That the culture that we're in,

00:15:36.300 the culture wars that are being waged right now, the dating scene, the horror that's on dating apps,

00:15:45.420 the seeming lack of choices out there for when it comes to men that you would actually want to date

00:15:54.720 and to marry, none of these things are inhibitions to God. Remember Job 42.2, no purpose of God's can

00:16:04.340 be thwarted. Now, I also want to say that you are not guaranteed. None of us, you know, before we are

00:16:15.560 married is guaranteed marriage. No one is guaranteed children. Even if we desire these things, our desire

00:16:25.220 is not an indication that God will fulfill that desire how we want him to. And so understanding

00:16:34.340 that, that life is filled with unmet and unfulfilled desires, even really good desires. It is a great

00:16:44.500 desire to be married, to want to be married. It is a great desire to want to have kids. But we reject

00:16:52.500 this kind of prosperity gospel that says, well, because I want it and because I've done the right

00:16:59.360 things and I've followed the rules, God is indebted to me. I am entitled to God's gifts. That is a lie

00:17:08.560 and is going to send you down a spiral of continued heartbreak and disappointment to where you're not

00:17:15.200 only feeling betrayed by possibly men in your life, but you're feeling betrayed by God himself and God will

00:17:22.420 never betray you. And he has never made the promise that he is going to give us everything we want. He

00:17:29.360 offers us something far better. He offers us himself. He offers us his faithfulness. He offers us his

00:17:36.920 presence. He offers us the spirit powered ability to endure even through the seasons of sadness and

00:17:46.020 singleness and waiting and doubt and suffering that we don't want to be in. So that's the hope that we

00:17:52.940 have. And I would just remind you, my single sister, that motherhood and marriage is not when life starts.

00:18:03.860 It's not when life begins for you. You are not in a perpetual holding pattern. Like you are not in just a

00:18:13.140 season of waiting. You are also called to work while you wait. God knows the desires of your hearts.

00:18:21.320 You can continue to pray for that, but at the same time, you've got to release it with an open hand.

00:18:29.100 Okay? And so just realize like that your sanctification, God's calling on your life, the purpose that he has

00:18:36.900 for you. It's unfolding right now, minute by minute. You are not more valuable to God, more productive

00:18:46.300 for God just because you get married or have kids. You have not failed to fulfill your calling as a

00:18:55.280 woman if God does not bring you a husband or allow you to have children. You are not any less of a woman.

00:19:02.220 You are not any less a daughter of God before you get there. Or if you never get there, understand

00:19:09.160 that, that our highest calling as women, our highest calling as women is to glorify God with our lives.

00:19:18.300 And we can do that right now. It's actually a lie of Satan for you to believe that your Christian life 1.00

00:19:26.120 doesn't really start until you get married or have kids. So understand that. And just remember,

00:19:33.520 remember this too. This is not a quote from the Bible by any means. This is just an ally-ism.

00:19:39.900 And maybe someone told me this before I got married. I don't remember, but it's certainly been true in 0.98

00:19:45.740 my life and in a lot of my friends' lives who thought that they would never meet someone and then they did

00:19:50.020 and they got married. Here's just a tidbit. A lot can happen in a year. Just remember that. No, I don't know

00:19:58.240 if you're ever going to get married. I don't know. I don't know. But neither do you. That's what I'll say.

00:20:04.540 Neither do you. So you moping around and saying you're never going to find someone and Bumble and Hinge

00:20:10.940 are so awful and there are no good guys in the entire city or state where you dwell, that's certainly not

00:20:19.140 helping anything either. That's like when Sarai laughed at God when he said, oh yeah, you're going

00:20:26.500 to become pregnant. I know you're like 90 years old, but you are going to become pregnant. He called 1.00

00:20:32.280 her out on it. It's a very funny story in Genesis. You should go read it. He said, oh yeah, you did laugh

00:20:37.320 and she denied it. And he was like, no, you did laugh. We don't need to be laughing at God. We don't need

00:20:43.280 to be dismissing the power that he has. And you cannot see the future. A lot can happen in a year.

00:20:53.640 You literally could, if God has ordained it, meet an amazing guy tomorrow and be planning your wedding

00:21:02.040 this time next year. You have no idea. You have no idea. And again, another practical, a practical piece

00:21:09.220 of advice that I would say, because we can do practical, wise things if our desire is to get

00:21:15.520 married and to have kids one day, go where the Christian men are. Go where the Christian men are. 0.99

00:21:21.360 Most Christian men, most are not on Bumble and Hinge. Certainly not on Tinder. They're probably not

00:21:31.120 at the bars. They're probably not. Not the men that you want to settle down with and get married to.

00:21:37.960 They are probably at church. They are maybe at the gym. That's where I met my husband.

00:21:46.060 It was like a Christian gym. And so it was a great place to meet a guy. Put yourself in a situation

00:21:53.640 where you will meet a like-minded man. Again, that's no guarantee, but it gives you a much better

00:22:01.920 chance. And look, I will just say that I don't envy single women right now. I don't. I do think

00:22:12.020 that it has gotten much more difficult dating than it was when I was dating 10 years ago now. Wow,

00:22:19.460 I'm so old. It's gotten a lot different. Like the internet has changed the game. This red pill nonsense

00:22:25.820 has changed the game. Guys seem to be more immature for longer. But look, culture has always had weak

00:22:34.960 men and has always had bad women. Like I think the dating pool has probably been worse throughout

00:22:42.020 history than it is right now. And God has his people and he has his sons and daughters and he is

00:22:50.840 sanctifying them. And I believe 100% that there are amazing, responsible, smart, women-respecting,

00:23:02.360 porn-free, hardworking guys out there. And look, guys, there are some amazing women out there. And I

00:23:11.100 will say to guys, don't just go for the 25-year-old, don't limit your pool and your selections to only

00:23:25.220 25-year-olds. There are some women, amazing women, who are in their 30s and late 20s. We don't need to 0.99

00:23:35.500 be getting our direction from Twitter discourse about value and what a woman actually brings to

00:23:44.820 the table. Just ensure that you are viewing people through the lens of the knowledge that they are

00:23:53.360 made in the image of God and that God determines their worth, not Twitter, not social media, not

00:24:00.160 anything like that. I remember that too for you ladies, is that God determines your worth, not any 1.00

00:24:06.280 of the chatter online. All right. So I just wanted to make sure that in case any of you were observing

00:24:13.020 any of that rhetoric, that you remembered what is true about all of this. And again, I think Charlie

00:24:21.060 Kirk would probably agree with everything that I said. All right. Now we've got another online

00:24:27.180 conversation to talk about and it's much bigger than an online conversation, but a lot of the

00:24:31.800 discussion is again happening on Twitter and that's an OnlyFans model, Nala Ray. She left her OnlyFans 0.85

00:24:38.400 career to follow Jesus. She recently did an interview with Michael Knowles on the Daily Wire and a lot of

00:24:45.320 people are saying, eh, I don't really know if this is genuine.

00:25:00.700 Okay. Former OnlyFans model. This is from Christian Post and churchleaders.com. A former OnlyFans model, 0.54

00:25:08.940 Nala Ray, has left the adult entertainment industry following a profound spiritual awakening,

00:25:13.320 which culminated in her baptism and recommitment to her Christian faith. OnlyFans is particularly

00:25:18.040 known for its porn content with many creators using the platform to upload and monetize sexually

00:25:23.400 explicit photos, videos, and performances. She also had a TikTok account with over 440,000 followers.

00:25:32.960 But recently, a few months ago, she announced that she was quitting OnlyFans, becoming a Christian,

00:25:39.440 and she was baptized in December. Here's thought two.

00:25:43.760 Your biggest fantasy is...

00:25:45.660 Not even my biggest. It's like one of my fantasies.

00:25:48.860 Okay. So if you didn't see that, the first part was when she was on the Whatever podcast talking

00:26:07.320 about being an OnlyFans model not too long ago and how she's dressed, certainly looks like a porn star. 0.63

00:26:12.900 And then in the second part of that video, she is being baptized, which is really amazing.

00:26:17.420 And the text says,

00:26:18.640 This is my testimony. No matter what you've done, said, or believed, Jesus saves.

00:26:23.660 She told Fox News in a recent interview that she grew up as a pastor's child, ventured into OnlyFans

00:26:28.340 in 2020, leaving her job as an orthopedic surgery scheduler. Her ascent to the top 1% of earners on

00:26:35.080 OnlyFans was swift, yet it led to a critical assessment of her life's direction. She said that

00:26:40.220 she was making $330,000 a month, which is just mind-boggling. She said that her disillusionment

00:26:47.660 with the industry grew as she observed its exploitative nature, particularly the way it

00:26:51.560 allows men to control and profit from women's bodies. Her journey towards spiritual renewal 0.54

00:26:55.920 gained momentum through interactions with a man she described as her partner, who is apparently a

00:27:01.580 devout Christian. She met in October through TikTok. She said he provided support through prayer and

00:27:06.080 biblical guidance. And she said, I was reaching out to God and like, wow, my life is a mess. I feel

00:27:11.800 so lonely. This is not what I should be doing with my life. She says, I ended up getting saved,

00:27:16.980 getting baptized, and I believe later December. I can't even tell you how much my life has changed

00:27:21.700 since then. Everything in my life has just kind of come to this room where I can now observe it and

00:27:28.220 then be like, okay, so I don't really want to do this anymore. I knew that this isn't what God wanted

00:27:32.840 me to do with my life. Ray's decision to leave OnlyFans was complicated by logistical issues such

00:27:38.020 as awaiting tax documentation, which temporarily kept her account active. She made a symbolic gesture

00:27:42.840 by posting a Christian video signaling her intent to sever ties with the platform once her obligations

00:27:47.420 were fulfilled. So she grew up actually as a Baptist. And I just want to say this as an aside and an

00:27:56.180 encouragement for you parents out there who maybe have a prodigal son or daughter. You have a child

00:28:03.760 who is a stray. You did everything that you could to raise them and the Lord to disciple them. Or maybe

00:28:09.100 you thought that you were doing the best that you could at the time, and they have now walked away

00:28:17.240 from the faith. And you're looking back and you're thinking, okay, I could have done that differently.

00:28:22.240 I could have done that better. Oh my goodness. Where did I go wrong? How did I fail? And while all

00:28:28.140 of us, of course, I mean, none of us is a perfect parent. All of us could have done and could be

00:28:33.060 doing things better. At the end of the day, God is totally sovereign. Like he is sovereign over

00:28:40.520 salvation. And here's some encouragement to you is that I so often see him working through someone's

00:28:49.300 Christian upbringing to bring them back to church. I see that so often from people who decided after

00:28:55.840 they deconstructed or decided after they walked away and they had a period of just wanting to be

00:29:01.220 free in their sin, whatever it was. Because they were raised in a Christian home, God uses those hymns

00:29:09.920 that their mom sung them before bedtime, those Bible verses that they had to memorize in vacation Bible

00:29:15.100 school to recall the memory of truth and to bring them back to the foundation that was laid for them.

00:29:23.880 So just remember that parents who have a child who is not walking with the Lord right now,

00:29:31.720 your discipleship of them was not for naught. It was not for nothing. It was not wasted. First of all,

00:29:38.740 it was obedience to God because we are called to disciple our children. But secondly, you laid a

00:29:44.760 foundation for them that God may very well use to bring them back to the faith. And so this,

00:29:53.740 her story of being raised a Christian, walking away, it is very, it's very common. But also this is 0.65

00:30:01.020 another common part of it, um, is that her parents divorced when she was 11. Um, and so divorce also 0.82

00:30:09.600 causes massive destabilization for children. And that kind of instability leads to all kinds of

00:30:17.680 problems. It can, it doesn't always, but statistically it very often does leads to lead to all kinds of

00:30:23.340 problems. But then it was later that her dad became a Baptist pastor. Um, and so she shared her

00:30:28.760 testimony, all of this testimony on the Michael Knowles show. And she also addressed that she's

00:30:35.420 gotten a lot of pushback on Twitter and she has, I've seen this. So here's one example, uh, controlled

00:30:41.320 neo. I don't know some blue check mark on Twitter, Christian to believe this woman can truly be saved.

00:30:46.320 The naivete of conservative Christians is driving more people towards atheism and Islam. The same 1.00

00:30:52.700 naivete that is making your society crumble, except anything and fall, except everything and fall

00:30:58.620 for anything. Laura Loomer, who is not a Christian says these only fan girls can pray their slutty 0.99

00:31:04.900 behavior away all they want. They will never be respectable, no matter how much they cry to God.

00:31:09.880 Praying to be a respectable person doesn't work. Once you do sex work, it's best that we shun women 1.00

00:31:16.540 like this from society forever. Again, Laura Loomer knows nothing of the gospel or Christianity at all.

00:31:22.980 Uh, Pearl Davis says, Michael Knowles, what a great commercial for her OnlyFans, which still isn't

00:31:29.320 deleted. However, community notes on that tweet says, Nala's OnlyFans page is not active, actually.

00:31:37.020 Um, Ian Miles Chong said, uh, completely sociopathic. Would you believe that she's now being heavily

00:31:42.180 promoted and touted as the next major traditional Christian conservative influencer? I was just,

00:31:46.520 there's a shortage of good conservative women. What, um, there were, there were many others, 1.00

00:31:52.920 many others who said that she needed to pay her penance in order to really be saved or considered

00:31:59.220 a Christian. Um, so here is Nala addressing some of those things in Sot 3. What is the fruit that I'm

00:32:06.120 producing right now? Is it bitter and dying or is the fruit that I'm producing sweet? And is it growing

00:32:14.420 in the soil that I have, um, in right now? It's definitely stirring something in people's hearts,

00:32:19.920 whether they can explain it or not. But I'm here to say, your explanation is Christ. Go to Christ.

00:32:26.740 If you really believe that I am fake, you go to Christ with that. You know what I'm saying?

00:32:32.320 And you should be praying for me. So she's right. I mean, if you think that she's fake,

00:32:37.960 then you should be, we should be praying for her. Now, I don't know her. I haven't talked to her

00:32:42.540 personally. Um, we've reached out to her because I love people's testimonies and I would love to

00:32:48.460 talk to her about it. I don't say that I don't know whether she's sincere because I think that

00:32:54.940 she's not. It's just because I don't know her and I haven't talked to her. Um, and so, and I haven't

00:33:01.660 looked enough, you know, into her testimony to try to verify it. That's not, you know, what I'm trying

00:33:07.060 to do here. If she says that she's a Christian, then I am going to be hopeful about that. And I 0.97

00:33:15.760 mean, in the same way with Kanye West, when anyone with a public platform who was so far in one

00:33:21.700 direction says that they are a Christian, like I am very, I'm going to very hopefully accept that.

00:33:28.340 Now, obviously with Kanye West, I mean, I can see now that it doesn't look at all,

00:33:33.260 at least from the fruit that he's showing us, like he is following Christ. I don't regret being

00:33:38.180 excited about the Christian music that he was putting out at the time or the church services

00:33:44.040 that he was hosting, even though he did have Joel Osteen one time or some of the gospel sharing that

00:33:50.700 he did. Um, I do agree though, with any kind of hesitance to hoist someone up as like the new

00:34:01.380 Christian celebrity or the leading Christian commentator. And I'm not saying that that's what 0.81

00:34:07.380 people are doing for Nala, but it does seem to me that when someone has this kind of dramatic story

00:34:14.820 of repentance, that it would be better for them and better for their sanctification to leave the

00:34:22.300 spotlight for a period of time and, um, to really just grow in their faith before they start teaching,

00:34:33.040 before they start a new platform to, um, instruct people on Christian theology. I do think it is

00:34:42.600 important to have that like private, humble, in the background season of sanctification. Now,

00:34:51.380 I I'm not saying that's a hard and fast rule. I'm not the person who gets to set the rules on that,

00:34:57.240 but it does seem to me like that is probably wise. And so I can understand maybe that critique. Now,

00:35:05.320 I'm not even, I don't even know if she's trying to become like the leading public voice of Christianity,

00:35:10.340 but I think that that's like a fair assessment, a fair critique. What I cannot get on board with

00:35:18.380 is this gracelessness, this anti-gospel message from some people online who profess to be believers.

00:35:25.360 I didn't even read all the tweets. And then other people who clearly are not believers, um, saying

00:35:30.940 that, no, this person is too far gone. This person cannot really be saved. They can't really be accepted

00:35:39.540 as a Christian, that they need to do something to prove themselves worthy of the label of Christianity.

00:35:49.380 Like that is the opposite of what Christianity is. That is not the gospel. Recall the thief on the cross 0.97

00:35:58.300 whose faith, uh, God used to save him. Jesus said to that thief, to the side of him on his own cross,

00:36:09.080 today you will be with me in paradise. Um, we read throughout scripture when Jesus is interacting

00:36:18.680 with the woman of the night who washes his feet with oil and tears. When he speaks to the adulterous

00:36:27.060 woman at the well, uh, he calls these women to repentance. He calls these women to faith. Um,

00:36:35.540 but it is not through their cleaning themselves up. It is not through their own self-powered, uh,

00:36:45.780 process of righteousness or making themselves clean that they have become acceptable to God.

00:36:53.960 Remember, he who knew no sin became sin. So we might become the righteousness of God. So God,

00:37:01.420 Jesus took on our sin. He died to the death that we should have died. He paid the debt that we owed so

00:37:10.800 that we could become the righteousness of God. He has justified us before a holy God. He has made us

00:37:19.640 holy. He has made us clean his work on the cross. The blood that he shed is completely sufficient for

00:37:27.280 that. It was sufficient for Saul who turned to Paul, who had spent years of his life violently

00:37:34.460 persecuting Christians, approving their execution. Then he had the Damascus road encounter with Jesus 0.53

00:37:42.660 in which he realized, Oh my goodness, this sin that I have been committing is egregious. And he became

00:37:49.120 the greatest evangelist that has ever existed. Yes, Paul had sanctification and increasingly becoming

00:37:57.280 more obedient to Christ and becoming more like Christ through the strength of the Holy Spirit. But

00:38:03.100 at the moment of his conversion, he was justified. He became, yes, a saint. He became a member with,

00:38:11.960 a member of the household of God. He became a co-heir with Christ. He became a son of God. And that is

00:38:22.140 what all of us are when, by grace through faith, we have been made alive in Christ. And so let me read

00:38:31.720 you a passage that, gosh, we've read so much on this podcast, and that is Ephesians 2. This just reminds us

00:38:41.600 that we really have no room to say, well, that person is too far off. That person is too far gone.

00:38:47.040 They can't be saved by the gospel. Because, I mean, we read really clearly what that gospel is and

00:38:53.120 where we all fall within it. So, and you were dead. This is Ephesians 2. And you were dead in the

00:39:00.040 trespasses and sins in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following

00:39:04.240 the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience,

00:39:08.420 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body

00:39:13.380 and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath like the rest of mankind. So that's all of us.

00:39:19.640 All of us at one point were dead in our sin. There aren't different levels of dead. You are either

00:39:26.040 dead or you are alive. And we read in Ephesians 2 that before Christ, we are all dead in our sin.

00:39:31.580 We are all sinking with the stench of death and decay. But God, being rich in mercy because of

00:39:39.980 the great love with which he loved us, even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive

00:39:44.440 together with Christ. By grace, you have been saved and raised us up with him and seated us with him

00:39:49.500 in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages, he might know the immeasurable

00:39:54.460 riches of his grace and kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace, you have been saved.

00:40:00.100 And here's the thing, I don't think most people understand grace. You don't earn it. You cannot

00:40:06.680 earn it. By definition, it is a gift given to you freely because of no merit that you have on your

00:40:12.820 own. For by grace, you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing. Here's how

00:40:19.820 many times, here's how important this is to God. He emphasizes it in so many different ways. For by grace,

00:40:25.660 you have been saved through faith, and this is not your own doing. It is the gift of God. So three

00:40:30.860 ways to say grace right there. Not a result of works, there's four, so that no one may boast.

00:40:37.200 For we are his workmanship, there's another one, created in Christ Jesus for good works,

00:40:42.880 which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them. So the good works are a product of our faith,

00:40:47.540 not a prerequisite for our salvation. It's a product of our faith, not a prerequisite for

00:40:53.320 our salvation. And even those good works that we do as a product of our faith are actually ordained by

00:40:58.840 God beforehand, and he empowers us to do so we can't even take credit for those. So none of us

00:41:05.520 have the ability, the authority to boast about any good that we've done, any righteousness that we have,

00:41:11.680 because it all comes from Christ. And that is the good news. And I don't expect people who are not

00:41:18.800 Christians to understand that. And I'm sorry that they are using that to bludgeon people like her or 1.00

00:41:28.860 anyone else who they think are just too far gone. Like, that's the beauty of the gospel, that we could not

00:41:35.940 make ourselves clean. We could not ascend the proverbial hill to God, that he had to descend,

00:41:44.180 come down the proverbial hill, take on flesh, and die a gruesome death on the cross for our behalf.

00:41:53.500 And because we were dead in our sin, he had to make us alive in Christ by grace through faith.

00:41:59.860 2 Corinthians 5.17, Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed

00:42:08.420 away. Behold, the new has come. Praise God. So if Nala is saved by grace through faith, she is a sister

00:42:18.520 in Christ. She is a saint and a member of the household of God. Praise the Lord. And she is in

00:42:25.580 a better position right now than the most chaste non-Christian when it comes to her ultimate fate. 0.78

00:42:47.060 Now, we can also acknowledge that there are very real earthly consequences to sin. And

00:42:55.260 we don't necessarily get to escape all of those consequences when we become a Christian. Like,

00:43:02.860 it is true that unfortunately, Nala will be reminded of her past through the images that will live

00:43:11.040 forever on the internet, through the videos that will live forever on the internet. Unfortunately,

00:43:16.180 there's not very much that she can do about that. And she will carry the scars and the memories of the

00:43:24.100 sexual sins that she has committed and the knowledge that she at one point purposely, you know, tempted

00:43:32.780 men into lust. And like, having those regrets, what the Bible calls godly grief, is a real part of

00:43:41.360 repentance. It's part of that Holy Spirit conviction. And thankfully, once we get to heaven, we don't have

00:43:47.260 to worry about that guilt and godly grief. But it's not necessarily a bad thing to feel that guilt.

00:43:54.260 Now, you don't have to feel overwhelming shame because it doesn't define you. You are a new

00:44:00.240 creation. And Satan, the accuser, will use your past sins to try to deny the reality of your new identity

00:44:06.480 in Christ and try to disempower you from obeying him and just tell you, you know, you're always going to

00:44:13.220 be an addict. You're always going to be a prostitute. You're always going to be a cheater. You're always going

00:44:19.720 to be a liar, whatever. He wants you to think those things so that you do not have the power and the

00:44:25.160 strength and the energy to obey Christ. But all of those things are lies. However, the guilt that comes

00:44:31.300 from conviction from the Holy Spirit and the knowledge that the past sins that we did were indeed bad, that I

00:44:38.300 think is a good thing. Some people get confused about that. Like after we become a Christian, we

00:44:42.700 shouldn't have guilt about anything that we did before we were Christians or any sin that we've

00:44:46.300 committed. That's not true. We should look back at those past sins and yes, be ashamed of them, of

00:44:52.440 those sins, even if that doesn't change our knowledge of our new identity in Christ. And so the earthly

00:45:01.340 consequences of sin are real and we do bear those absolutely. And like we can look at a story like

00:45:10.360 that, like young people can look at a story like that and say, okay, so selling your body is not

00:45:17.160 empowering. So making a ton of money through your bodily autonomy and being a pornographic girl boss, 1.00

00:45:25.780 that's not actually fulfilling. Oh, sexual liberation and money isn't all there is to life.

00:45:32.460 Oh, that doesn't make someone happy. I mean, it's a tale as old as time. And so I do think that there

00:45:39.060 are some lessons to be learned from that. But then also the humility and realizing that we were all

00:45:45.920 once far off from Christ. And how amazing is it in all the interactions that Jesus has in the New

00:45:52.340 Testament that the gospel writers inspired by the Holy Spirit included so many interactions of Jesus

00:45:59.520 with adulterous women? The woman who was caught in adultery at the end of John 8, again, the woman at

00:46:06.520 the well, the woman of the night who was washing his feet with her tears. And while of course Jesus

00:46:13.520 upholds the biblical sexual ethic and believes in holy sexuality, he treated these women with so much

00:46:20.900 tenderness and so much care and so much attention and so much love. And so when we look at the gospels

00:46:29.080 and we look at these accounts, we see the example of how we should be addressing and talking to these

00:46:37.480 women who are in sexual sin or who used to be in sexual sin. It's not from a place of hate and anger 0.99

00:46:46.560 in malice. Remember Romans 2. Go read Romans 2. It is God's kindness that leads us to repentance.

00:46:57.340 And also there's a lot in there about like what judgment actually looks like. Good judgment versus

00:47:02.740 sinful judgment. And so I think that's probably a good refresher for everyone. So that's my take on

00:47:09.980 this. I mean, I do pray for Nala. Becoming a Christian and giving everything up when you are making 1.00

00:47:16.700 hundreds of thousands of dollars, when something has become a persona, it's become a brand for you, it's

00:47:22.860 become really who you are, who people see you as when it's tied with your success and your stability to give

00:47:29.840 all of that up for Christ. That's tough to do. That is tough to do. And so I'm just so thankful for her

00:47:37.240 testimony. And I just pray that she, um, she's got her ESV study Bible and that she is plugged into a

00:47:45.960 local church. I don't know if she is still with this guy who originally led her to Christ. Um, but

00:47:51.680 I pray that her faith is not tied to that person, but that it is truly tied to Jesus Christ, who is the

00:47:59.340 same yesterday, today, and forever. So yeah, I'm just thankful. I'm always going to be thankful for

00:48:06.000 these kinds of testimonies and just pray that the Lord would, uh, continue to, continue to use her.

00:48:14.040 Um, okay. So I think I've spent a plenty of time, like comforting women in this episode.

00:48:18.860 And I think that these moms that I'm about to talk about need some tough love because there's 0.99

00:48:23.920 this phenomenon, apparently, um, the rise of the canna moms. Okay. Moms who smoke weed. Okay. 1.00

00:48:31.400 Cannabis moms. And there are several outlets who are reporting on this. I think I saw this first on

00:48:36.380 motherly, um, high on motherhood, the rise of canna moms. The 2023 study conducted by the Harris

00:48:42.260 poll for cannabis retailer Medman enterprises found that more than one third of American women 0.59

00:48:46.400 over 21 consume cannabis. And apparently there are, um, many moms also who are engaging with this.

00:48:55.880 They talked to Kaylee, a 41 year old mother and entrepreneur cannabis. She said that cannabis helps

00:49:00.340 her manage challenging moments with her five-year-old daughter. I take a hit and then I'll

00:49:04.080 be able to say, I'm sorry. That's not how I wanted to handle things. Oh my gosh. I cannot hate this

00:49:09.320 more. Uh, I found that I've had some of the sweetest, most engaged moments with my daughter

00:49:14.520 when I'm a little bit high. Oh my goodness. Women. Um, the ABC news. This is actually from a few years 0.85

00:49:24.260 ago. Weed moms are the new wine moms. The wine mom culture has long been the source of many a mommy 1.00

00:49:29.500 meme with largely socially, uh, and largely socially acceptable marijuana using mom. They're stepping

00:49:34.080 out of the shadows and proudly extolling the virtues of cannabis. And so it goes on and on

00:49:38.980 about these moms who have to use marijuana in order to get through the day. Okay, guys, we've had

00:49:45.940 problems. You know, that meme, uh, or we have problems currently as, as a species. Um, you know,

00:49:53.200 that meme about men, like men will do X, Y, Z before they'll go to therapy. Okay. Well, women 0.98

00:50:00.200 will do X, Y, Z, AKA smoke weed before they get their stuff together, before they go to church,

00:50:07.220 before they find Jesus. Okay. If you need wine, you need alcohol, you need drugs, you need a substance

00:50:14.320 to get through the day as a mom, to go through your normal responsibilities as a mother, then there

00:50:21.200 is something happening there. There is something wrong with your nervous system that probably has

00:50:28.620 to do with not your physical health or even your mental health necessarily. There is something

00:50:34.860 spiritual. There's something profound going on there. There's something going on in your

00:50:39.160 circumstances that is not allowing you to self-regulate and to exhibit the patience that you

00:50:45.820 need to handle your five-year-old. Motherhood is hard. Kids are demanding. The toddler years are

00:50:52.820 really difficult, but it's made a lot harder by a lot of the things that we have going on today.

00:50:58.600 Kind of what we talked about at the very beginning. If you were at work from eight to five, you're

00:51:04.040 stressed out, you're touched out, you're talked out. And then at the end of the day, you are dealing

00:51:09.600 with toddlers who are pulling on you and demanding a bunch of things and want everything from you. And of

00:51:15.120 course, they want your attention and you're feeling exhausted and you're feeling overstimulated.

00:51:20.520 Yeah, it's going to be really tempting to reach for something that is going to allow you to have

00:51:26.180 some kind of like mental relief or mental break. Also, constantly being on our phones, social media.

00:51:35.020 Have you ever been really like focused on your Instagram or focused on something on your phone

00:51:40.900 that someone taps you on the shoulder and it just annoys you way more than it would if you had

00:51:46.260 just been sitting there doing nothing? That's because our brains are just so overstimulated by

00:51:52.100 social media that when one other thing tries to stimulate us, when one other thing tries to grab

00:51:58.260 our attention, it irritates us. And so we need to put down our phones, we need to reassess our priorities,

00:52:04.880 and we need to ensure that we are putting our jobs as mothers first. That doesn't mean that you don't

00:52:12.920 do anything else. I know a lot of women who put their jobs as moms first, but they also have a 1.00

00:52:19.600 podcast or they also have an Etsy shop or they also sell courses or something like that contributing

00:52:25.060 to the family economy along with their husband. It might mean, though, that you don't do any of those

00:52:31.540 things, but we have to ensure that our priorities are in line. And if we are finding that we have to

00:52:37.920 reach for an outside substance for us to just get through the day, then something is going on there.

00:52:45.100 If we as Christians feel that way, then we really need to assess where our hearts are, where our

00:52:49.900 spirits are, if we are being fed spiritually by the word, by other Christians, the way that we need to.

00:52:55.720 But also, I think some of it is just straight up immaturity. Some of it is just this belief in

00:53:03.160 perpetual adolescence and prolonged juvenility, that responsibility and having demands is just too

00:53:12.040 much for us. It's just too much, so we need an escape from all of it. When really, we have it really

00:53:17.680 easy as a generation. Moms have had it much more difficult than we have today in some ways, 0.81

00:53:26.760 although I don't think that moms have the community and the village and the family support in some ways

00:53:32.340 that other moms have in the past. But even so, there is no justification for having to rely on 1.00

00:53:43.120 these kind of toxic substances to allow us to be a mom. And like, weed makes you stupid and lazy and 0.93

00:53:52.920 fat. And so don't do that. It's bad for you. And it's bad for your kids. And it's bad for your home.

00:53:58.860 And it's bad for your air filters. I am totally against, by the way, legalizing weed. I think it's

00:54:04.420 awful. I think it has only net negatives for society. And like the worst combination I can think of

00:54:12.360 is a mom with young kids smoking weed. No, thank you. No, thank you. I think this is an awful

00:54:18.320 development. This is just a new stage of toxic mommy culture, which toxic mommy culture, I first 1.00

00:54:24.560 started talking about that in probably 2018, wrote about it in my book in 2019. And it's just this

00:54:31.500 phenomenon or like this culture of moms complaining about motherhood and thinking that it makes them 1.00

00:54:36.340 cute or relatable or fun. We can be transparent about how difficult motherhood is in the right

00:54:42.100 context. There's no need to vent about your children and how difficult it is online for

00:54:49.760 clicks and views. And you certainly shouldn't be smoking weed while you're doing it. That's my take on

00:54:54.740 that. Okay, y'all. It was a full week. Gosh, we spanned a lot on our episodes this week. We will be back

00:55:15.080 here on Monday with one of my favorite guests, and that is Delano Squires. I've been wanting to talk

00:55:20.900 about this. Dawn Staley, this coach of the University of South Carolina women's basketball

00:55:29.380 team, her recent comments about men playing in women's sports because they say that they're the

00:55:34.760 opposite sex, but also how the media has raised her up as a hero. We're also going to talk about

00:55:39.500 the very controversial subject about whether or not MLK was the Christian hero that we have always

00:55:47.100 said that he was, whether the criticism of him is fair or not. We'll be talking about a lot of other

00:55:51.820 things, too. Y'all loved Delano, so you'll love that episode. Make sure you tune in for that. We've

00:55:56.560 also got some behind-the-paywall subscriber-only relatable content coming your way with Chief Related

00:56:03.700 Bro, my husband. You guys have been asking about that, so go to blazetv.com slash Allie, and you can

00:56:10.460 subscribe for all that awesome content. All right, that's all we've got for today. See you guys back here on

00:56:14.920 Monday.

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - April 11, 2024

Ep 984 ｜ Do 30-Year-Old Women 'Hit a Wall'？

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