Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - REPLAY： 3 Myths Christian Women Believe

00:00:00.000 what's up guys happy thursday i hope that you guys are having a great week i am in dc right now

00:00:08.000 i know it doesn't look like i am because i'm not recording this in dc but as you're listening to

00:00:13.700 this podcast i will be in dc for the stork ball and the march for life if you guys are there

00:00:20.360 tomorrow as you're listening to this so friday please come say hi i will actually be with my

00:00:25.720 mom i'm excited to be there this is actually the first time i've actually marched for life i know

00:00:30.440 the people in march for life i know a lot of the people associated with movement i'm really excited

00:00:34.680 to hear ben shapiro speak he is such an amazing and logical advocate for pre-born life and i'm

00:00:41.900 really excited about that so anyway today that's not what we're going to talk about we i might talk

00:00:48.620 about it a little bit at the end if we have time i'm going to talk about three myths that christian

00:00:52.700 women believe and this was actually inspired by someone who sent me a message on instagram

00:00:57.180 and um it is a caption of hayley bieber who used to be hayley baldwin she's a model married to justin 0.92

00:01:05.000 bieber it is a caption that hayley baldwin bieber put on instagram and this person had a question about

00:01:13.260 a few things that she had said specifically this idea that we see in a lot of christian female circles

00:01:18.140 that you are enough so i thought about this and i realized this is one of a few myths quite a few

00:01:25.720 myths that particularly christian women believe not as much christian men i've had a problem for a

00:01:32.520 while with female bible studies and the way that a lot of women not all christian women but a lot of 0.98

00:01:38.760 women preach the bible with this kind of me first or me centered mentality that everything in the bible

00:01:45.260 is about them and they kind of reduce jesus to this uh emotionally supportive boyfriend that is

00:01:52.420 almost like their uh almost like their gal pal who just sits around and tell them tells them how awesome

00:01:59.240 their hair is and how great their personality is i've always really disliked that about female 1.00

00:02:05.260 christianity because that's not who jesus is jesus is the same for men as he is to women now that's not to

00:02:12.860 say there are differences between men and women there are differences between men and women in

00:02:17.320 the bible and there might even be differences in how men and women approach theology in some ways just

00:02:23.780 because our minds do work differently but the answer should be the same who we see god as should be the

00:02:30.260 same and how god relates to us essentially is the same there is this mentality that i see and i'm going

00:02:36.280 to get into what the caption actually was but just to set it up there's this mentality that god is this

00:02:41.820 kind of morphing thing that changes depending on on what our personality is uh that changes depending

00:02:49.700 on what our preferences are that god's word changes depending on how we see it and that's just not

00:02:56.940 true that is whether you believe this or not or whether you think you believe this or not that is

00:03:01.820 you saying that you are god and that god actually bends to you and that his will bends to you that's why i have

00:03:11.140 i like personality tests but that's why i am wary about them and that's why i can be cautious about

00:03:18.140 them and even recently i kind of found myself promoting enneagram a little bit too much um and

00:03:23.940 i realized hey this could actually encourage idolatry just a little bit because i i get worried when we view

00:03:30.120 ourselves through this lens of i am special because yes you are in some ways but in some ways you're just

00:03:37.380 you're not and if our constant focus is on how different and special and how unique we are

00:03:43.840 and not on how great and special and awesome and unique god is then i'm afraid that our theology is

00:03:51.260 going to be thwarted and that's what i think that i see in hailey hailey baldwin bieber's instagram

00:03:57.780 caption so it's long i'm not going to read the whole thing this is just an excerpt um she says i am

00:04:04.240 insecure i'm fragile i'm hurting i have fears i have doubts i have anxiety i get sad i get angry i

00:04:10.440 have had more days than i can count where i found myself scrolling through instagram comparing myself

00:04:14.820 comparing my looks feeling like i'm not good enough like i lack so many things and really

00:04:19.040 struggling to be confident in who i am because i constantly feel like i'm just not good enough dot

00:04:23.900 dot dot dot um that's i'm adding that in what i do know is god made us individuals for a reason

00:04:29.480 with our own beauty our own personalities and our own story because there's a specific plan

00:04:33.640 and purpose for each and every human created and he makes no mistakes so this year i'm going to do

00:04:38.260 my very best to just be me and be confident with who i am because i am enough and i'm loved and you

00:04:43.840 are enough and you're loved so this sounds really good and i don't want it to seem like i am slamming

00:04:50.960 hailey baldwin or hailey bieber as this uh awful heretic she might be at a particular place in her 1.00

00:04:59.500 sanctification where she is still learning uh about theology and this is just where she is and i

00:05:04.820 commend her for uh being vulnerable sadly this social media world has created a world in which

00:05:10.620 comparison um and insecurity is probably i don't know this for sure but it seems to be a little bit

00:05:16.960 higher than it has been in the past it's interesting i actually was having a conversation with this uh

00:05:22.020 with my friend about this the other day about how you always hear and again this is not a

00:05:27.440 generalization or a wholesale judgment on fashion bloggers i follow a ton of fashion bloggers that i

00:05:32.460 think are awesome they're the opposite of trash people which is like really cool um you always

00:05:37.640 hear them talk about anxiety it's almost like every single fashion blogger or design lifestyle blogger

00:05:42.920 always talks about anxiety and i just think yeah that that would be really anxiety inducing if your

00:05:48.800 entire career and your entire livelihood was based on how many likes you get on a photo because that

00:05:54.360 determines how many advertisers you have how many how much you get paid for your sponsored posts

00:05:58.520 and there are so many other people like you promoting the same products as you promoting the

00:06:02.780 same kind of brand that would be really anxiety inducing and so i think what hayley baldwin says

00:06:07.860 here is uh extremely telling of just kind of where we are as a culture and quite frankly i think it's

00:06:13.300 very sad we all fall into this trap it's so easy to do in the social media world but my problem is not

00:06:20.100 with the problems that she has because i'm glad that she's being honest about that especially

00:06:25.620 because she is so beautiful and so what so many people would would see as perfect and is married

00:06:31.720 to justin bieber so i think it's good that she's having this kind of transparency my problem is the way

00:06:38.840 that she comforts herself is actually the way that a lot of christian females comfort themselves

00:06:44.200 so she says with our own beauty god made us with our own beauty our own personalities our own story

00:06:50.360 because there's a specific plan for each and every human being created and he makes no mistakes okay

00:06:54.400 true uh so this year i'm going to do my very best to just be me and be confident in who i am because

00:07:00.460 i am enough and i am loved and you are enough and you are loved so there are a few myths in there

00:07:06.220 that if we're not critically thinking people we are going to miss um and i think for whatever reason

00:07:13.020 we give celebrity christians a pass but we shouldn't be just excited when a celebrity says

00:07:17.960 the word god or says that they pray without taking stock of okay like let's look at their

00:07:22.460 let's let's look at their lives and judge with as much wisdom and grace as we possibly can um what

00:07:28.780 they're what that looks like same with president trump same with anyone that doesn't mean that we

00:07:33.300 know their whole hearts that doesn't mean that we know their whole lives that doesn't mean that we

00:07:36.760 sit here and say you're going to hell because we don't know that but we are able to use 0.93

00:07:42.300 discernment and to use our eyes and to use our ears and say okay okay okay you pray that's good

00:07:50.320 okay there are some other things that we need to talk about and it's the same thing with this

00:07:55.400 hailey bieber baldwin post the way that she comforts herself or filled with these myths that are not

00:08:02.140 actually theologically true so let's go into that a little bit um she talks about how finding yourself

00:08:08.500 is hard uh also in this whole thing and how she just needs to be me she needs to be confident who 0.99

00:08:13.260 she is um she is enough you see this a lot in popular celebrity christianity you see it with

00:08:18.740 jen hatmaker you see it with rachel hollis uh you see it sometimes with beth moore with a lot of

00:08:24.240 christian influencers out there uh this seems to be like i said almost an exclusively female thing

00:08:29.200 this just need we have to hear that we are enough um but quite frankly the way that hailey baldwin 0.74

00:08:36.380 bieber is comforting herself the way that i see a lot of these rachel hollises the lot of these 0.62

00:08:41.560 jen hat makers a lot of these female bible leaders uh comforting themselves and comforting insecurities 1.00

00:08:46.780 and comforting lack of confidence and uh this whole comparison trap that we find ourselves in the

00:08:52.100 comfort that they give themselves is wrong it is worldly it is not biblical and therefore it is 0.99

00:08:57.740 insufficient so here's myth number one myth number one is you are enough um no you're not you're

00:09:06.140 actually not enough the bible never says that you are enough you are not enough actually we are severely

00:09:13.660 lacking i am lacking i am incomplete i will never be enough i will never be good enough i am not kind

00:09:20.500 i am am not righteous i am not generous i am not beautiful enough i am not talented enough i'm not

00:09:27.460 strong enough i'm not healthy enough i'm not organized enough i will never be enough ever ever and that

00:09:34.360 is okay and it's not the comfort in that is not that yes i am i'm enough in all of my inadequacies

00:09:41.880 the comfort is that no i'm not but jesus is that jesus is enough and in him i find my sufficiency

00:09:48.740 in him i find myself complete in him i find myself good uh not because of anything that i have done

00:09:56.460 but because what he did for me on the cross that he made my slate clean and that has nothing to do

00:10:01.440 with what i did no i am not enough but god the two greatest words in the bible that are that are put

00:10:09.040 together but god but god in ephesians 2 it says be rich in mercy with the great love with which he has

00:10:15.060 loved us made us alive together with christ by grace you have been saved but god no you are not enough

00:10:21.420 you will never be enough you will never be good enough there's always going to be someone better than

00:10:25.360 you but god jesus is enough for you first corinthians 12 9 my grace is sufficient for you my power is

00:10:33.980 made perfect in weakness it's not about not being weak it's not about telling yourself that you are

00:10:39.660 enough it's not about telling yourself that you are strong beautiful and important you're not

00:10:43.200 you are completely incomplete you are completely undeserving of god's love but god because he is

00:10:52.560 gracious because he is kind because he is strong because he is able he sent jesus to die for you so

00:10:58.780 that when he looks at you he doesn't look at you and all of your insufficiencies he looks at jesus

00:11:03.120 that is the comfort the comfort for your insecurity the comfort uh for your fear your anxiety your

00:11:10.300 comparison trap that you're finding yourself in isn't you and your sufficiency it is god and his

00:11:16.140 sufficiency it is knowing that every day when i wake up even though i'm never going to be good enough

00:11:21.080 even though i'm never going to be the prettiest woman in the world even though i'm never going

00:11:24.260 to be the best mom best wife most organized person in the world god is perfect he is perfect and he has

00:11:30.560 chosen to die for me and reconcile uh reconcile me to him because he loves me not because i'm good

00:11:37.720 it's actually because i am not good that he did that so the rest of first corinthians 12 9 says

00:11:45.000 therefore i will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses so that the power of christ may rest

00:11:50.160 upon me for the sake of christ then i am content with weaknesses insults hardships persecutions and

00:11:56.100 calamities for when i am weak then i am strong you see there that he doesn't say no i i'm actually not

00:12:03.060 weak no no no that's bad self-talk i'm gonna motivate myself with a good pep talk that talks about

00:12:08.280 really how awesome i am no you're not i'm not awesome you're not awesome but god is so we can

00:12:16.200 boast in our weaknesses and say no i'm not enough i'll never be enough not to the world standards not

00:12:22.820 to god's standards i am completely totally broken and shattered and i will never have enough to offer

00:12:29.040 i'm completely insufficient but god but god is and think think the lord that in his mercy he decided

00:12:40.720 to look upon me this wretched sinner who deserves absolutely nothing and say i will save you simply 1.00

00:12:47.660 because i'm good that is the comfort so the first myth is that you are enough no you're not but jesus is

00:12:54.880 the second myth is that you have to love yourself either period or sometimes it continues on you have

00:13:03.860 to love yourself before you love other people no can you find the verse for that now some people will

00:13:12.440 say um the bible says to love others as you love yourself yes love yourself is not a commandment

00:13:21.440 love yourself is a given um it says as you love yourself because that is assumed because everyone

00:13:28.620 loves themselves even the people who struggle with self-loathing and insecurity it is often because

00:13:33.460 we think about ourselves too much when i have been in my most insecure and down phases i won't say that

00:13:40.140 i've ever truly struggled with depression um but whenever i've been in my most insecure and anxious stages

00:13:46.180 you know what i'm thinking about the most it's not other people it's me i'm thinking about myself the

00:13:51.180 most i'm thinking about what i look like what i sound like what i appear like to other people

00:13:55.380 i'm thinking about myself and i remember there's a specific season in college when i was a sophomore 0.90

00:14:00.460 in college where i just like looked in the mirror in the mornings and i was like you are ugly and gross 0.97

00:14:07.260 and everyone is better than you and skinnier than you um and i was not satisfied with looking at 0.97

00:14:14.520 psalm 139 and saying wow god is awesome for knitting me together in my mother's womb and uh i am i i am

00:14:22.680 confident because of who he is i was not content with that i wanted to hear that i was uh physically

00:14:29.720 superficially beautiful i wanted to know that i was prettier than other people i wanted to be as skinny

00:14:34.960 as other people so it i didn't need to hear that i was enough or that i needed to love myself i need to

00:14:42.120 hear stop thinking about yourself and focus on god what we need as a generation who struggles with

00:14:48.460 anxiety is not more self-love it is god's love if you find yourself unable to love other people

00:14:55.360 it's not because you don't love yourself it's because you don't know god's love that's what we

00:15:01.600 need to understand that's what we need to get deeper into you don't need to love yourself more you

00:15:06.180 need to understand how god loves you he loved you so much that he gave his only son to die for you

00:15:11.120 that he did he would do anything for you and he did do everything for you something he didn't have

00:15:17.340 to do it's not because you're lovable it's because he is love so if we struggle with uh our own

00:15:24.360 confidence if we struggle with loving and serving other people it's because we don't understand god's

00:15:29.400 love and i know that from experience myself as someone who has struggled with insecurity and

00:15:34.120 who does struggle with worrying i worry a lot i overthink a lot who does struggle with being selfish

00:15:40.040 who struggles with not wanting to get out of my comfort zone like i've been thinking about that

00:15:44.120 a lot recently is that how i preach these values and um i i don't often uh get off the couch and

00:15:52.620 actually go out and help other people i talk about it that's not right that is not because i don't love

00:15:58.900 myself that's because i have a deficiency in understanding god's love for me so i am not preaching

00:16:05.540 this to you as someone who doesn't struggle with this myself so hear me when i say it is not more

00:16:11.640 self-love that you need you do not need to love yourself before you can love other people what you

00:16:16.240 need is the gospel what you need is the gospel which as i've just said is that for god so loved the

00:16:24.200 world that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him shall not perish but have

00:16:28.320 everlasting life he did that because of his grace by grace you have been saved through faith says

00:16:33.400 ephesians 2 you need the gospel if you are depressed you need the gospel if you are lonely

00:16:39.060 you need the gospel if you are anxious if you are self-loathing if you are paranoid if you are

00:16:44.040 insecure now i've already spoken in the past that i'm just as a little parenthetical caveat here i am

00:16:51.860 not against medicine if you are depressed if you are anxious uh if you truly have an anxiety disorder

00:16:58.520 um i think that is a gift of common grace technology and medicine can be gifts of common

00:17:03.600 grace if that is something that you truly need so i am not saying that if you are depressed or if you

00:17:07.940 are anxious it's because you're not praying enough i'm i don't want you to hear me say that sometimes

00:17:12.720 there are imbalances in our brains that really need to be fixed by medicine just like any other disease

00:17:18.060 but this idea that your problem is that you don't love yourself enough is not true that's not biblical

00:17:27.220 whether you are on medication for depression or not it is still important for us to dive deeper into

00:17:34.320 who god is and his love for us more than it is to dive deeper into ourselves and how much we love

00:17:40.580 ourselves we do not need to love ourselves anymore god's got that for us he loves us way more than we

00:17:46.400 ever could he knows us we way way better than we ever could um he has chosen us those of us who are

00:17:55.240 saved more it's it's a love that we can't even fathom so for those of us who deal with insecurity

00:18:01.200 and anxiety it is um it is not a matter of not loving ourselves enough it is not understanding god's

00:18:07.700 love so that's myth number two uh myth number three is be you um we hear this uh in the

00:18:16.360 forms of you do you don't apologize for who you are just be unapologetically you god doesn't make

00:18:22.020 mistakes again there is truth in this to some degree yes you shouldn't be pretending to be

00:18:30.200 something that you're not but what i am afraid of is that that kind of covers sin too that um oh if god

00:18:39.500 made you for example we hear this with homosexuality a lot or we hear this with transgenderism

00:18:44.400 god doesn't make mistakes so if you you are born a boy but you feel that you're a woman then you

00:18:49.140 should be that because you're being truly who you are um if you are attracted to if you are a man who

00:18:55.720 is attracted to men who also calls yourself a christian you should pursue that lifestyle uh because

00:19:00.380 god doesn't make mistakes you should just be who you are when that's not true sin as for a christian

00:19:05.660 is not part of who you are anymore you are not um a you might be someone who sins but you are a saint

00:19:11.280 who sins who are a member of the household of god if you can tell i really like ephesians so i

00:19:16.180 quote from them a lot um but we are called away from that life and romans 8 talks about uh dying to

00:19:23.380 the flesh and being alive in christ we are no longer slave to fall back into the spirit of fear

00:19:29.100 but we are uh born of the spirit we have a spirit of or we have uh we are children of god by which we

00:19:37.000 can call out abba father we are different we are not defined by our sin that is not who we are

00:19:42.240 in christ we are a new creation so i think it's important to distinguish between who you are personality

00:19:50.320 wise which i agree um can be used in unique ways for the kingdom of god and who you are sin wise which

00:19:57.780 needs to die which needs to be crucified that's true of all of us whether it's selfishness or 0.97

00:20:02.560 homosexuality whether it is lying or cheating or stealing or um transgenders whatever it is 1.00

00:20:10.820 we are asked to deny those things we are asked to kill those things we are asked to crucify those 0.97

00:20:16.420 things so i'm not really interested in being who i am i am interested in being who god calls me to be

00:20:22.840 and again bringing in the whole personality test thing and how that can sometimes lead to idolatry i i do

00:20:30.300 i do think that sometimes we focus too much on the intricacies of our personality

00:20:35.340 like we view everything through that lens rather than the lens of the gospel rather than the lens of

00:20:41.840 the bible and i think that that really inhibits us because we say well no i couldn't be called to do

00:20:47.340 that or i couldn't do that because i'm i'm an enneagram eight um i i couldn't do that because well i'm an

00:20:53.920 infp so no that's not for me this is for me um now there are spiritual gifts in the bible you could

00:21:02.160 be a shepherder shepherder you can be a shepherd you could be a teacher there are different things

00:21:08.240 that god has gifted you to do however god calls us however he wants to call us so i think it can be

00:21:14.720 limiting to say well this is who i am and this is just me and what i want to do well i don't know

00:21:21.120 about that i mean how many of us would have said moses would have been a great leader this stuttering

00:21:27.180 uh former prince of egypt who uh went out into the wilderness and spoke to a burning bush like

00:21:33.420 what this guy god this guy like he can barely form words he's gonna what he's gonna free us from

00:21:41.100 captivity what he's gonna take us through the the what sea how's he gonna do that he's he's going

00:21:50.200 to get away from from pharaoh how okay god okay right sure why don't you give us someone who can

00:21:59.120 actually put a coherent sentence together and yet god did god used moses to lead the people eventually

00:22:05.540 to the promised land but god uh first corinthians 126 through 31 says uh he it talks about the the just

00:22:15.240 illogical in human in human terms the illogical way that god uses people says uh first corinthians

00:22:22.840 for uh sorry i just said this first corinthians 126 through 31 for consider your calling brothers

00:22:27.660 not many of you were wise according to worldly standards not many were powerful not many were

00:22:32.380 of noble birth but god but god there it is i didn't even know but god chose what is foolish in

00:22:38.700 the world to shame the wise god chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong god chose what is

00:22:44.080 low and despised in the world even things that are not to bring to nothing things that are so that no

00:22:50.340 human being might boast in the presence of god and because of him you are in christ jesus i could cry

00:22:55.820 this is amazing who became to us wisdom from god righteousness and sanctification and redemption so

00:23:01.680 that as it is written let the one who boasts boasts in the lord you know when you read a passage

00:23:07.720 for the millionth time and you're just hit with the beauty of it let the one who boasts boast in the

00:23:15.480 lord so it's not about doing you it's not about being you it's about being who you are in christ

00:23:23.180 yes god gave you uh certain personality traits he gave you certain gifts that should be used to their

00:23:29.960 fullness for his glory but they're not meant to be limiting they're not meant to define you

00:23:35.320 and uh they are not meant if they are there are parts of us that are also inherently sinful they

00:23:42.260 are not meant to be lived out if they are against god's will um so it's not about doing you it's about

00:23:50.840 being like christ it's about being obedient it's about being holy and righteous and bold no matter

00:23:56.340 what your personality type is no matter what your propensity is towards a particular sin we are all

00:24:01.680 called to repentance we are all called to holiness we are all called called to share the gospel we are

00:24:06.200 all called to serve and give to the poor so that's it that's that's uh our identity is in christ and

00:24:13.720 that's where we operate from i don't uh identify as an eight and operate from a point of view of an

00:24:20.800 eight i identify as a christian in christ and i operate from there now an eight might inform being an eight

00:24:28.480 i am an enneagram eight might inform some of the ways that i think might help me understand a little

00:24:33.640 bit how i relate to people but that is not who i am that is not my identity that does not define

00:24:38.820 how i speak to people it does not uh define how i go about my life jesus does so these are the three

00:24:47.540 myths number one being you are enough you're not enough jesus is enough number two you have to love

00:24:54.940 yourself you have to love yourself before you love other people is the other variation of that

00:24:59.800 no it's not about self-love it's uh about god's love and number three be you uh don't be you if being

00:25:08.160 you means sinning um don't find your identity in yourself find your identity in christ uh that's a

00:25:15.540 huge problem that we have particularly as female christians is this me sinner theology 1.00

00:25:21.200 in which our comfort at the end of the day is that you are beautiful and enough and awesome

00:25:28.200 no your comfort is in christ and what he did for you on calvary and i'm just afraid that we're

00:25:36.060 replacing a christ-centered gospel with a me-centered gospel and it doesn't save and it doesn't sanctify

00:25:43.680 and it's only going to make you a more selfish and self-aggrandizing person yes you might accomplish

00:25:49.400 some goals you might lose some weight for example you might be more organized you might uh do some

00:25:56.560 things that you feel are fueled by your newly found self-confidence that you read from a particular book

00:26:02.040 from gin hat maker or whatever some instagram influencer hayley baldwin bieber um but that's not

00:26:11.860 sanctification that's not what god calls us to none of those things are bad per se um but it's not the

00:26:18.580 gospel so that's what i wanted to that's my main message for today so i also promised this is a

00:26:25.520 completely different subject i also promised that i would talk about the gillette ad that talked about

00:26:30.520 toxic masculinity so gillette did an ad they came out with an ad on i think i first saw it on monday

00:26:39.900 and i'm gonna play a little bit for you it's really visual more than anything so if you're not

00:26:46.280 watching it might not have the same impact but here you go

00:26:50.580 we can't hide from it sexual harassment is taking over it's been going on far too long

00:26:57.980 we can't laugh it off

00:27:02.520 what i actually think she's trying to say making the same old excuses

00:27:10.100 boys will be boys boys will be boys but something finally changed

00:27:15.800 allegations regarding sexual assault and sexual harassment

00:27:19.240 okay so the whole thing basically is about like men this is not who we are and they show

00:27:28.740 they show men like um harassing women or condescending women in the workroom they show

00:27:35.160 a tv show where someone is like pinching a woman's butt and how men are laughing and watching it

00:27:41.020 they're basically talking about how toxic masculinity has really uh infected the world it even shows this

00:27:48.480 one part about uh of these two boys fighting in a yard and the fathers being like boys will be boys

00:27:55.300 they're showing all of that is negative and they're saying that good men are the ones who stick up for

00:27:59.900 women and to uh defend women against harassment and assault the reason why i have a hard time with 1.00

00:28:06.000 this is because i don't believe that toxic masculinity exists i believe that sin exists

00:28:11.180 and every single person is corrupt if you want to say there's toxic masculinity well there's toxic

00:28:16.220 femininity too you can go back to the garden of eden and find that but really it's not toxic

00:28:20.720 masculinity or toxic femininity it is sin that manifests itself in varying ways um yes men are more 0.95

00:28:27.260 physically they're more physically powerful than women are and so there are some sins that have a 1.00

00:28:32.880 greater effect on society that men execute than women do simply because we just physically aren't

00:28:40.620 able to carry out the the same things that men do and we're just not inclined to we don't have 0.97

00:28:44.800 testosterone we don't have the same aggression my problem is is that you see kind of the first half

00:28:49.620 of the thing first half of the ad talking about harassing women condescending women uh and boys playing

00:28:55.360 in a yard so what they're doing is they are conflating uh boy aggression with male toxicity or male predation

00:29:05.340 and i have a significant problem with conflating aggression or assertiveness or rough and tumble

00:29:14.680 with predation and then the cognitive dissonance of saying that those two things are somehow connected but

00:29:21.040 also saying that good men are the ones who stick up for women which i agree with by the way there's so much

00:29:27.300 dissonance there because they don't realize that you you don't create passive boys and get strong men

00:29:33.080 you don't create boys that um don't fight each other aren't rough with each other when they're you know

00:29:39.180 six to ten years old who grow up to be uh who grow up to be these strong men who are going to be

00:29:46.900 heroes and defend women now i'm not saying that boys need to necessarily fight and be uh rough with

00:29:52.180 each other i'm not saying that but if you're saying that boys will be boys as bad that boys um you know

00:29:58.300 like having some uh having some good-hearted rough and tumble when they're when they're six and seven

00:30:04.620 years old if you're saying that that is bad that that is toxic and that we need to make boys what

00:30:09.940 uh less aggressive in that way more passive in that way more feminine more gentle in that way

00:30:16.060 and then those boys are going to be the ones who grow up to to uh to be the ones to stand up for

00:30:22.500 women not going to happen you're not because if you make boys more passive and more feminine when 1.00

00:30:27.900 they're boys they are not going to grow up to know that they need to stick up for girls because you're

00:30:31.840 basically saying there's no difference between boys and girls and that's the other cognitive dissonance

00:30:36.240 in all of this is that the same kind of people who say there's no difference between men and

00:30:39.580 women we're all basically the same also say that in order for men to be good men they need to stand

00:30:43.760 up for women well if men and women are inherently the same then why can't women stand up for themselves

00:30:47.860 um which i obviously believe that men and women are different and that men should stand up for

00:30:53.400 women they should be protectors they should be providers um they should be they should be the one 1.00

00:30:58.760 to take responsibility at the end of the day and to land a punch on a bully who is um you know

00:31:05.120 picking on someone who is smaller than their size or picking on a woman whatever it is

00:31:09.220 i do believe that men should be the ones to do that but you don't get that by stifling their

00:31:14.840 aggression you get that by training it you don't say hey be less assertive be less of a man be less

00:31:22.740 masculine you say no use those good god-given things use that testosterone use that assertiveness

00:31:29.400 to be a protector to be a provider to be the things that women need you to be yes i said need

00:31:35.760 need a lot of women have a hard time with that oh we don't need no man well even if you're not 1.00

00:31:41.880 married which i think is perfectly fine i've talked about that before the bible says paul says it is

00:31:47.140 better to be single than to be married so i'm not saying you have to be married to be complete

00:31:51.060 certainly not from a christian perspective but yes society in general does need men men are different

00:31:56.160 than women uh we already saw gillette probably didn't mean to show the inherent inherent differences 1.00

00:32:00.800 between men and women in that ad but they did um so yes we need men women need men we need the

00:32:09.080 strength of men we need the assertiveness of men we need the aggression of men a lot of times people

00:32:13.600 think aggression is inherently wrong well it's not unless it's used for abuse unless it's used for

00:32:19.540 condescension um it doesn't have to be it can be used in a very good in a very protective in a very

00:32:25.340 defensive way so just this entire idea that masculinity is toxic is absolutely crazy to me

00:32:32.320 these from the same people too it's so funny these from the same people that saying that all kind of

00:32:37.280 sexual choices that you make is is totally fine now they're showing that it's wrong to watch a show 0.96

00:32:43.240 where a man is like pinching a woman's butt which i agreed that is wrong but christians have been 0.98

00:32:50.000 sounding this alarm for a long time that hey maybe sexual purity is something that we should talk about 0.98

00:32:54.960 and promote and they all laughed at us but now uh purity in at least some sense is important when it

00:33:01.560 pushes the feminist cause or something and if your mind can't wrap around that that's because you are 1.00

00:33:07.040 logically thinking person and you are confused by all of this crazy stuff it's okay me too the american

00:33:15.300 psychology association i think it's what it's called they just put out this um amazing amazing study

00:33:23.920 saying that traditional masculinity is wrong it's bad for society well there was this great article 0.99

00:33:28.840 in psychology today basically in a very calm and factual way saying that this is a stupid study 0.96

00:33:33.580 it bases it on uh social and political ideologies rather than on scientific fact um and they even 0.90

00:33:42.360 defended themselves the apa said well we're just talking about the extreme behaviors of a few men we're not

00:33:48.560 talking about men in general okay so again they're talking about sin like it's not about masculinity

00:33:53.440 it's just about sin that manifests itself differently in different people because we are different

00:33:57.600 oh man i mean progressivism is just eating itself just take solace in the fact that the bible

00:34:03.940 it's the bible is clear and the bible gives you a great guidebook and the bible tells you exactly what

00:34:11.320 you need to know about gender about culture about the differences and all of those things and as long as

00:34:15.300 you abide by that you don't have to worry too much about the crazy and the complication in the world

00:34:18.980 um okay thank you guys so much for listening if you are at march for life tomorrow i will be there

00:34:24.260 would love to say hi and i will see you later

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - September 02, 2019

REPLAY： 3 Myths Christian Women Believe

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript