Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - REPLAY： Modest Isn't Hottest ... But Is It Biblical？

00:00:00.000 hello hello welcome to relatable happy monday hope everyone had a wonderful weekend today not as i'm

00:00:17.320 recording this but as you are listening to this i'm actually in nashville for the candace owens

00:00:23.680 show so make sure that you look out for that super exciting but today we are going to discuss

00:00:29.480 a controversial topic that many of you have asked me to discuss and i've honestly been kind of

00:00:35.960 avoiding talking about it's not really because it's controversial you guys know that i don't

00:00:41.720 avoid controversial subjects because but because i haven't really decided how to properly articulate

00:00:48.120 um what i think about it but with so many requests um on this and so many conversations about this

00:00:57.680 topic which is modesty circulating on social media especially in what's considered

00:01:03.400 ex-evangelicalism and progressive christianity i thought it might be time to bite the bullet and

00:01:09.840 just go for it so that's what we're going to do we're going to discuss what modesty means what

00:01:14.740 the bible says about it what it looks like for christian women and even men um there's no way

00:01:20.260 though for me to cover um every part of this topic but we're going to do our best to hit the

00:01:26.260 important points and i want to kick this off this is part of why i thought it was a good idea to talk

00:01:33.100 about this right now because there was some um drama that went on online centering on the subject of

00:01:40.000 modesty when christian singer matthew west released a song called modest is hottest on father's day where

00:01:46.340 he talks about encouraging his two daughters to dress appropriately um i watched it on instagram

00:01:51.980 when it came out knew immediately what the reaction was going to be right from some people but i mean

00:01:59.180 i laughed i got what he was doing it was obviously tongue-in-cheek he might have been aiming to convey

00:02:05.280 a serious message that he wants to protect his daughters but it was obviously light-hearted

00:02:10.200 a little satirical just trying to jokingly show that um you know he is a protective dad of his

00:02:18.120 girls um here's an example of some of the lyrics i'm just going to read it to you modest is hottest

00:02:23.360 the latest fashion trend is a little more amish a little less kardashian what the boys really love

00:02:29.320 is a turtleneck and a sensible pair of slacks honey modest is hottest sincerely your dad i mean that's

00:02:35.240 funny that's cute i mean it's supposed to be a joke uh 10 years ago no one would have batted an eye

00:02:44.180 at that kind of thing because at one point we all knew that most dads don't want their daughters

00:02:49.040 leaving the house with most of their body exposed but some people took issue with the song um and i'm

00:02:56.760 going to read you uh some of those responses and a little bit of the backlash in just one second

00:03:02.780 all right let's look at a little bit of the backlash some negative responses to this song

00:03:08.100 by matthew west that i think tells us a little bit about what popular culture and also those who

00:03:14.420 consider themselves maybe on the more progressive side of christianity have to say about this particular

00:03:19.820 topic and the idea that was sung in the song um singer uh audrey asad said on twitter modest is

00:03:26.180 hottest still centers men and their preferences and how women should look still sets being found hot by men

00:03:32.060 as the ultimate goal for women and positions all men as creeps who can't handle seeing a woman's

00:03:36.660 bare skin without turning into out of control monsters author sheila gregore quote tweeted the

00:03:42.980 song and said this the age-old struggle is actually women feeling responsible for men's sins i know many

00:03:49.820 think this is cute and fun but obsessing over girls bodies without making reference to boys responsibility

00:03:54.420 is part of the problem let's raise girls and boys in a healthy way instead so those are pretty balanced

00:04:01.520 and i think reasonable responses from people that didn't agree with the message here is what one

00:04:06.700 mom told today so this was picked up by some secular outlets as well colorado mom lisa krutzinger 30 told

00:04:15.120 today parents that she grew up listening to christian music and enjoyed it but the narrative of the song

00:04:19.820 is not something she would want her daughter audrey bell to hear what a girl wears does not equal her

00:04:24.920 worth krutzinger said girls don't wear clothes because it's what the boys really love if you're comfortable

00:04:29.680 modest clothing rocket and if you want to dance on tiktok in the clothes you love don't let people

00:04:34.360 like matthew west tell you that's quote bad there was also an oklahoma worship pastor named jeremy

00:04:40.260 coleman he parodied uh some of the song on tiktok so matthew west version says this in one of the lines

00:04:46.760 if i catch you doing dances on tiktok in a crop top so help me god you'll be grounded till the world stops

00:04:52.120 coleman's version goes like this well if i catch you doing dances on the tiktok wear what you want girl just

00:04:57.920 go off hold your head up so your crown doesn't fall off you're a queen if you forgot here's the

00:05:03.420 newsweek write up about that um it says coleman who has three daughters told newsweek his concern with

00:05:08.920 west song was the same concern with purity culture as a whole we are telling our daughters and young

00:05:13.780 women that their body image should be defined by someone else's opinion women should feel confident

00:05:18.380 comfortable and free to dress and express themselves however they want um there were several other tiktok

00:05:25.540 parodies that were similar to his lots of um many influencers on instagram and youtube talking about

00:05:32.620 how toxic this idea is how damaging it is there were a lot more less balanced and i would say a lot

00:05:38.780 meaner responses from some people too even professing christians towards this um so there was a good bit

00:05:45.260 of negative media and social media attention for something that probably like i said a few years ago

00:05:51.400 no one would have really noticed now matthew west ended up taking it down and he issued this statement

00:05:58.360 he said i'm blessed to be the father of two amazing daughters i wrote a song poking fun at myself for

00:06:03.360 being an overprotective dad and my family thought it was funny the song was created as satire and i

00:06:07.800 realized that some people did not receive it as it was intended i've taken the feedback to heart the

00:06:12.880 last thing i want is to distract from the real reason why i make music to spread a message of hope

00:06:17.020 and love to the world proud hashtag girl dad so he doesn't exactly apologize which people were upset

00:06:24.380 about and i and i want to try to offer as sympathetic a summary as i can of the position of people who were

00:06:33.040 upset that he posted the video and then were upset that he didn't apologize about the video and i'm going

00:06:38.800 to get to that in just one second so here's what i believe the dissenters the people who are pushing

00:06:45.300 back against this and not just against this particular song but really the whole christian

00:06:49.360 concept of modesty in general or the larger purity culture in general we've talked about purity culture

00:06:54.920 on this podcast um the what the bible actually says about purity and some of the negative parts about

00:07:00.800 purity culture because people even within the church are fallible and so they make mistakes that

00:07:06.080 sometimes have unfortunately damaging consequences i think that's true of so-called purity culture we'll talk a

00:07:11.640 little bit about that but to try to sympathetically and as generously as i can um describe what i think

00:07:19.740 people's feelings are about this song and about this subject i i would say that the argument goes

00:07:24.220 something like this so by telling girls to be modest they would say we are making them feel that

00:07:30.520 the responsibility to control men's lusts and predatory behaviors is is theirs rather than telling men

00:07:38.120 to behave purity culture they say makes women bear the burden of men's sinful and sexual thoughts it

00:07:45.340 therefore encourages a mentality of shame and even self-objectification for women and girls who

00:07:51.480 are being at least implicitly told that their bodies are dangerous or to blame for men's behaviors

00:07:57.480 which then i think the logic goes leads to what some might call rape culture because women are taught

00:08:04.660 men can't control their sexual urges and if they give in to those sexual urges uh in the form of

00:08:10.320 predatory victimizing behavior it's because of what the girl or woman did or or or said or war so i think

00:08:17.660 that is how the thinking goes of the people who are pushing back on this kind of stuff and i truly tried

00:08:23.820 to be as accurate as possible in that and i hear a lot of that i really do like i really understand it i i agree

00:08:31.680 that ultimately of course men are responsible we all are responsible for our thoughts and actions

00:08:37.980 absolutely no matter what a woman is wearing a man is responsible for what he does and how he reacts i

00:08:44.780 agree that there are problems with so-called purity culture i've talked um about a book that i read

00:08:50.560 called dateable in high school which i now realize or i realize several years later is so uh toxic and

00:08:57.140 damaging and wrong that compared people young people to used cars losing value the more it was

00:09:03.860 driven of course comparing that to the sexual experience that you have when you're younger

00:09:08.420 before you get married or maybe you've heard of the analogy that was you know kind of taught in some

00:09:14.000 churches growing up of a rose that's been handled uh by a bunch of people then it looks all you know

00:09:19.700 torn up and wilted no one would want the rose right like you've probably heard that kind of thing

00:09:24.860 they're terrible analogies they're terrible i'll never forget watching a matt chandler sermon in

00:09:31.160 i don't know 2010 2011 i'm not sure when it was from but i remember watching it on youtube

00:09:36.500 when he talked about when he was younger listening to a pastor giving that rose analogy

00:09:42.520 and his response in this sermon was jesus wants the rose and that's exactly right thank the lord

00:09:50.320 our value and our wantedness is not diminished by how many guys we made out with in high school

00:09:55.340 or even by someone getting pregnant out of wedlock or someone being a prostitute jesus made a point to

00:10:00.680 interact with women who had been sexually immoral and whom polite society and religious legalists had

00:10:06.160 cast aside god seeks and saves the lost he reaches and heals the sick and the hurting and i could see

00:10:12.860 how creating shame around the body and sex can lead a young person especially a girl

00:10:19.120 to have a distorted view of herself and even maybe to blame herself for inappropriate male advances

00:10:26.260 and to maybe not speak up about them because she's been told that that kind of behavior is caused

00:10:31.200 by what she wears and that maybe she might have done something to make this man give in to his loss so

00:10:37.080 i can see all of that but but here's here's my disagreement or at least my pushback to the pushback

00:10:45.900 i cannot go so far as to say that a parent just shouldn't have anything to say about what their

00:10:52.240 children and yes in particular their daughters wear and to the christians responding to this song

00:10:57.960 saying well girls should just be able to wear whatever they want to wear do you really believe

00:11:02.440 that like you really think it's good parenting to allow your 13 14 15 year old daughter to wear

00:11:08.080 whatever she wants dancing on tiktok like you're telling me that there's no standard whatsoever

00:11:13.680 that you would ask your daughter to reach when it comes to wear clothing so if she wants to go to

00:11:18.800 the mall with her friends and she comes downstairs and clothes that basically amount to underwear you

00:11:23.600 as a parent wouldn't say something about that and if you do have any rules at all for what your

00:11:30.080 daughter wears those of you who push back against you know something like matthew west song my question

00:11:35.380 would be well why do you have those rules and if you don't have any rules for what your daughter

00:11:41.620 what where is you're telling me that you would be okay with absolutely anything that she wears in

00:11:46.420 public or posting on social media because here's here's the truth if if that's you like you really

00:11:52.440 just don't care in whatever setting she wears absolutely whatever she wants your 13 year old daughter

00:11:58.900 the truth is there are like whether we want to admit this or not whether you think it's patriarchal

00:12:05.620 to say this there are creepy predatory men on social media watching your kids videos whether

00:12:12.460 whether you want to admit it or not the vast majority of online sexual predators harassers assaulters

00:12:19.800 people who are rapists groomers are men and they seek out unfortunately underage girls on these

00:12:27.300 social media platforms that is a fact so are you honestly telling me those of you who are saying

00:12:32.460 well girls should just be able to wear whatever they want without judgment and it doesn't matter

00:12:37.400 if your daughter wants to wear whatever she wants dancing on tiktok you're telling me as a dad

00:12:41.920 or as a mom who has been given the responsibility by god to protect your children that you don't care if

00:12:49.100 your underage scantily clad daughter is dancing on tiktok where you know there are probably gross men

00:12:54.220 watching her now it is not her fault that those men are creepy that those men are predatory and that

00:13:00.320 they are looking for videos of underage girls that's not her fault but those men do exist like i said

00:13:05.760 that's a fact and even off of social media are there no standards of decency and dress that you hold

00:13:12.420 your kids to as far as covering parts of their body i mean of course there are of course there are you

00:13:17.800 wouldn't let your kids walk outside i mean you know walk somewhere in public like the mall or

00:13:23.640 somewhere in their underwear why not because it's inappropriate so if you will admit that can you

00:13:30.580 also admit that having rules for what your children and teens wear with an aim toward protection and

00:13:37.340 decency is okay i'm just saying anyone who says that parents shouldn't tell their daughters or just

00:13:43.340 your kids in general what to wear or not to wear at all you're either terribly irresponsible as a

00:13:49.460 parent which i don't think that you are i don't think that's true of many of the people complaining

00:13:53.980 about this particular song but the other option is that you're being disingenuous because most parents

00:14:00.540 are going to have some kind of regulations around what their kids can wear in public and on social media

00:14:06.660 the question is what should those regulations be not just for our kids but also for ourselves

00:14:14.640 and more importantly why because for the christian it's about more than just rules it's about more

00:14:21.700 than creepy guys on social media for the christian we have to seek what god says about how we dress

00:14:28.440 and i'm going to get into the theological aspect of modesty in just one second so like i said for us

00:14:35.840 it's the why that matters the most that is the thing that we must understand before we talk about

00:14:42.800 you know how long your skirt should be or how high your neckline should be we have to know why there

00:14:49.400 is even a conversation about modesty should there be a conversation about modesty and what what we

00:14:55.040 wear or what we don't wear i think there should be because the same god who pours out grace and

00:15:02.000 forgiveness on us no matter what we've done the same god who wants the rose who sees his children as

00:15:08.020 righteous and holy and good not because of what we've done or who we are but because of who he is

00:15:14.060 and what he's done through jesus on the cross does have something to say about how we present ourselves

00:15:20.240 and how we dress this god who as first john 4 8 tells us is love who loves us so much as john 3 16 says

00:15:28.320 that he sent his son to die for us so that we could be reconciled to him and spend forever with him

00:15:33.200 also says that how we dress and what we do with our bodies matter i grew up going to a southern

00:15:41.080 baptist church went to church camp where we were always told the um you know importance of waiting

00:15:47.480 to have sex until we get married not putting ourselves in situations with with the opposite

00:15:53.520 sex where things could go too far dressing in a way that doesn't cause guys to last and so i'm familiar

00:15:59.400 with all of this and i will just say for me personally though i can see how some of these

00:16:05.200 things um and how they were taught could have negatively affected people it didn't lead me to

00:16:11.720 be embarrassed about my body or um into the mentality that sexual assault could be somehow my fault or

00:16:18.840 afraid of having sex one day there's a lot of people who say that being told sex is bad until marriage

00:16:25.380 make sex difficult once you get married and that's probably true for those people but it really

00:16:30.900 wasn't difficult to flip that switch it was just okay sex before marriage shouldn't do it sex after

00:16:37.740 marriage should do it cool a lot of the shame that i know some people feel from what they say as a result

00:16:44.840 of purity culture um just wasn't the case for me or for any of my friends that i know who grew up in

00:16:51.080 the same world and i'm not invalidating what other people felt or experienced i'm just saying for a

00:16:57.060 lot of people it was okay like it wasn't perfect but it was okay and then for a lot of people also

00:17:03.060 like the whole true love waits campaign actually was super helpful for them and changed their mentality

00:17:08.980 about sex and dating and their bodies for the better but here is my big beef with most of what we

00:17:17.480 learned about abstaining from sex and what leads uh leads up to it uh growing up even though i didn't

00:17:25.020 experience any like trauma from it my problem is i don't remember very often hearing why what we wear

00:17:34.040 and how we conduct ourselves sexually matters i don't remember hearing it tied to the gospel

00:17:39.600 and to god's grace but i rather heard it tied to guilt tactics like you know you're really not going to

00:17:46.600 want to tell your future husband what you did with this guy you're dating now in high school because

00:17:51.180 after you tell him he might not want to be with you anymore if y'all are engaged or dating like you're

00:17:56.780 going to be or or something like you're going to be struggling with shame about this for the rest of

00:18:01.980 your life and it's going to make your marriage really hard or for a guy you're going to be thinking

00:18:06.320 about every girl that you ever done stuff with when you're having sex with your wife and then girls

00:18:10.400 hear the same thing about their future husbands and it's just like this whole idea of purity is tied to

00:18:16.160 what your future spouse is going to think and when you're a teenager there's no there's no guarantee

00:18:21.200 that you're even going to get married so what's the motivation for people who aren't going to get

00:18:25.300 married if it's just tied to the shame that your future spouse might make you feel and while i think

00:18:32.160 it's good to know what your spouse has done actually before you get married especially after they became

00:18:38.700 christians how i was told that those hypothetical conversations about the past with my future

00:18:44.740 husband would go down with tears and sadness and shame and not knowing if if like we can handle

00:18:50.360 the thought of us having had you know been involved with past significant others it's just not how it

00:18:57.120 happened like it doesn't mean it's fun to think about but we loved and love each other so there was

00:19:02.960 understanding there was grace there was uh there was gratitude that through all of that that that we're

00:19:09.700 together there was just happiness that we have each other and i just don't think that the veiled

00:19:16.080 threat that your future spouse may not want you anymore if you go too far with someone now is a good

00:19:22.440 way to inspire abstinence before marriage it's just not that's not a healthy mentality and i think

00:19:27.700 making modesty primarily about what other people may think is also ineffective because these things are

00:19:35.320 not what drive our conduct as christians what we do we do not do from fear but from love first john 4 19

00:19:44.400 says we love because he first loved us and john 14 15 says if you love me you will keep my commandments

00:19:51.980 so because we love the god that loved us so much that he sent his son to die for us we seek to do what

00:19:59.240 he says we seek to follow his commands because we are no longer who we were before we met christ we are

00:20:05.220 no longer our own we are not our own authorities we don't just do what we want or even wear whatever

00:20:11.820 we want anymore there are three passages on that that i want to read ephesians 2 1 through 5 and you

00:20:17.780 were dead in the trespasses and sins in which you once walked following the course of this world

00:20:22.400 following the prince of the power of the air the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience

00:20:27.340 among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh carrying out the desires of the body and the

00:20:34.140 mind and we're by nature children of wrath like the rest of mankind but god being rich in mercy

00:20:40.540 because of the great love with which he loved us even when we were dead in our trespasses made us

00:20:45.200 alive together with christ by grace you have been saved ephesians 4 22 through 23 put off your old self

00:20:53.440 which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires and to be renewed

00:20:59.800 in the spirit of your minds and to put on the new self created after the likeness of god and true

00:21:05.320 righteousness and holiness and then second corinthians 6 18 through 20 flee from sexual

00:21:10.920 immorality flee from it every other sin a person commits is outside the body but the sexually immoral

00:21:17.460 person commits sins against his own body or do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy

00:21:25.300 spirit within you whom you have from god you are not your own for you were bought with a price so glorify

00:21:35.560 god in your body so if you are a christian a follower of christ you've accepted by faith that god sent his

00:21:44.540 son as a payment for your sin and you are by faith committing to live in accordance with what god says is

00:21:50.520 good and right and true then you are no longer your own your old self is gone the god of self that

00:21:56.360 you used to worship is dead so all of this self-empowerment talk about you doing what you want

00:22:01.340 to do when you want to do it is totally irrelevant in the conversation about what life in christ looks

00:22:07.740 like we're supposed to die to ourselves because we are now his he purchased us with his blood and he and

00:22:16.580 he alone has every right to tell us what to do and what not to do how to dress and not to dress and

00:22:22.380 and he does so not because he enjoys nitpicking but because he loves us and is dedicated to our

00:22:28.800 holiness we obey him he wants us to be set apart first timothy 2 8 through 10 says this i desire then

00:22:37.560 that in every place the men should pray lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling likewise also

00:22:43.460 that women should uh should adorn themselves in respectable apparel with modesty and self-control

00:22:49.720 not with braided hair or gold or pearls or costly attire but with what is proper for women who profess

00:22:56.400 godliness with good works so just for some context this is a letter from the apostle paul to his son in

00:23:03.020 the faith timothy giving pastoral instruction he gives some theological reminders but is mostly giving

00:23:09.100 practical advice about orderly worship proper behavior for the christians in the church and

00:23:14.040 things like that so this verse in chapter 2 is talking about in the context of the church pointing

00:23:19.840 to the importance of not distracting from worship either by causing other women to envy uh flashy

00:23:26.420 clothing or encouraging men to look at them but because the word for modesty here in the original greek

00:23:32.220 which is a hedos uh means humility and reverence and really the opposite of self-focus or the desire

00:23:38.900 for other people to look at you and because christians are always called to humility we understand

00:23:44.240 that the call to modesty also extends beyond the walls of the church colossians 3 12 says uh put on

00:23:52.160 then as god's chosen ones holy and beloved compassionate hearts kindness humility meekness and patience

00:23:59.900 so what this tells us is that while there are external signifiers of modesty first and foremost it starts

00:24:07.520 in the heart it starts with a heart that is totally in submission to god so focused on all the uh so

00:24:15.240 focused on the on all the the attention and glory going to god that she will do nothing uh to distract from

00:24:27.320 that now we don't read here that women have to wear a potato sack or can't wear makeup or brush

00:24:34.220 their hair or look pretty we simply read that she dresses herself to point to god and not to point to

00:24:40.840 ourself um and to herself and because modesty is first about what comes from within there may not be

00:24:49.000 hard and fast rules about what women should and shouldn't wear and i say women because this passage

00:24:55.580 addresses women not men about modesty and how we dress now that does not mean that men aren't also

00:25:02.360 called to modesty because like we've said christian men and women are called to humility at all times

00:25:06.920 and that means men are also not to dress in a way that intentionally draws eyes to themselves

00:25:11.260 but either for men or women it is of course subjective i haven't always gotten this right that is for sure i

00:25:19.500 haven't always been as modest as i could be um in how i dress the older you get i think like the the

00:25:25.640 more mature you are the less tempted you are to kind of toe the line when it comes to clothing the more

00:25:31.180 conservative probably your standards become um the appropriateness of dress may depend on the setting

00:25:37.300 it may depend on the body type it may depend on who's around you but it's a little like the legal

00:25:43.120 definition of obscenity like you know it when you see it you know modesty when you see it

00:25:47.660 there's too short too tight too low too skimpy showing too much of or getting too close to

00:25:53.080 showing anything that would qualify as indecent exposure if revealed uh those are all possible

00:25:58.820 ways something can be immodest but again not primarily not primarily because of the clothing

00:26:05.600 itself but because of what it does and what it says about our hearts that's what the bible says

00:26:11.780 and it's about to whom we are trying to give attention and you might well say well i'm

00:26:17.660 i wear this for me it's not for other people to look at me well again i would just say even if

00:26:23.340 that is true if you are a christian you were still bought with a price and even if you wear

00:26:29.760 that for you the question is never well what can i get away with but rather as christians the

00:26:36.500 question is always how can i most glorify god with what i wear that may mean setting some rules

00:26:43.060 for yourself and yes for the kids to whom god has given you to steward that is normal and good and

00:26:50.020 responsible and right that is not teaching kids to be ashamed of themselves or that all men are

00:26:56.160 predators who may be provoked to rape because a girl's skirt is too short that's not what teaching

00:27:01.940 modesty means to kids it is saying look we are called to glorify god in all that we do he tells us

00:27:09.180 to dress modestly and humbly and in this house here's what we think that looks like and as you

00:27:15.800 get older we'll trust you more and more to make those decisions on your own i'm just kind of

00:27:20.020 paraphrasing because i know those of you who have walked through the teenage years with your kids would

00:27:24.160 know better than i do but that's just what i'm imagining based on scripture the conversation might go

00:27:30.000 like that hey we will trust you more and more the older you get based on what we've taught you but we

00:27:36.000 are still here to guide you to protect to protect you to set some um parameters as long as you are

00:27:41.960 under our care because we love you and we love the god who made you and the god who made you loves you

00:27:47.240 and this is what he says in his word and look the reality that a lot of progressives don't want to face

00:27:52.560 today is that men and women are different like we think differently we think about sex and the opposite

00:27:58.620 sex differently men are much more visual than women are they turn to thoughts about sex much more

00:28:04.840 quickly because of a visual than women do that does not mean women are responsible for men's thoughts

00:28:10.440 again it's just acknowledging reality and if we know that lust is a sin as jesus tells us that it is

00:28:17.680 and if we love the men who are our brothers in christ then we should want to do everything we can

00:28:24.720 to help them out matthew 5 27 through 29 jesus says this you have heard that it was said you shall

00:28:31.720 not commit adultery but i say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already

00:28:38.420 committed adultery with her in his heart if your right eye causes you to sin tear it out and throw it

00:28:44.500 away for it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body be thrown into hell

00:28:50.760 so here jesus clearly does not blame a man's lust or does not lay the blame um uh for a man's lust at

00:29:00.920 the feet of the woman after whom he is lusting so we should we shouldn't do that either but we also

00:29:07.520 take from this passage that lust is a huge deal it's an important sin it's a bad sin as all sin is but

00:29:14.100 it's it's it's a sin that jesus took time to point out that jesus is saying that you should take very

00:29:20.480 drastic measures to stop yourself from doing this so if we as women know that and we know how the male

00:29:28.000 mind works and don't let anyone tell you it doesn't work that way by the way you'll also notice that jesus

00:29:33.860 is addressing men in that passage isn't the just isn't the isn't uh it's a loving thing to do

00:29:41.260 to within reason dress in a way that is not intentionally distracting again you can't control

00:29:48.440 what someone thinks or does and i'm not saying that you can i'm also not saying that you should

00:29:51.980 be ashamed of your body because your body was made by god and is good i'm not saying that a man that is

00:29:57.700 that is your husband thinking about you sexually is wrong because god calls that sexual relationship

00:30:03.480 good too i'm talking about loving the body of christ by doing what we can to spur them on towards

00:30:09.760 holiness by conducting ourselves with modesty and humility mark 7 20 through 23 says jesus says this

00:30:17.820 and he said what comes out of a person is what defiles him for from within out of the heart or from

00:30:24.240 within out of the heart of man come evil thoughts sexual immorality theft murder adultery coveting

00:30:31.040 wickedness deceit sensuality envy slander pride foolishness all these evil things come from within

00:30:38.920 and they defile a person jesus said that i sometimes wonder like when people try to paint

00:30:45.360 jesus as the person who doesn't care about sin i'm like what bible are you reading these sins are big

00:30:50.500 deals and they obviously have bad consequences so love would say that we do what we can to resist these

00:30:59.620 sins ourselves and to help those around us to do the same as much as is within our power so here's my

00:31:06.660 conclusion critics of purity culture have some good points absolutely but there is no reason

00:31:13.340 certainly no biblical reason to throw the baby out with the bath water and say that what we wear doesn't

00:31:19.400 matter to god because it does it does matter to him and god loves us very much and i have to trust he

00:31:25.700 absolutely knows what's best for us and that we will never go wrong if our desire and all that we do

00:31:32.340 is to honor him and i pray that he gives me the grace to do that better and better and to teach

00:31:37.640 our kids to do the same thing and i pray that for you guys as well tough topic i hope that i covered it

00:31:46.400 in a way that makes sense and is helpful for you guys i will see you guys back here tomorrow

00:31:50.420 you

00:31:55.720 you

00:31:57.720 you

00:31:59.720 you

Relatable with Allie Beth Stuckey - May 25, 2022

REPLAY： Modest Isn't Hottest ... But Is It Biblical？

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