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00:00:22.720All right, so from the Reddit Chew Off My Chest. I'm a black man and am afraid of other black people. That's racist. It's racist. It's true, I am. First off, I'm black myself and have lived near economically disparate neighborhoods my whole life. I usually lived in the middle class section. I've always lived around poor, ignorant, aggressive black folks, and ever since I got beaten and mugged a few months ago, I think it's taken a toll on my psyche.
00:00:51.040First of all, the poverty thing, I understand it increases the crime rate, but the fact is that the richest blacks still have a higher crime rate than the poorest whites. I've lived in poor white neighborhoods earlier in my life, and I've lived in poor black neighborhoods. Night and day difference, okay? I still lock my door in both places, but night and day difference, all right?
00:01:13.480While my PTSD is mostly gone, for two months I was paranoid and would get randomly violent because I thought someone was following me. My fear isn't. How dare you? That's racist. You're not allowed to have those feelings because of black people. Doesn't matter what color you are. Because they can't do anything wrong. They can do no wrong. You're not allowed to have those feelings. You're not allowed to have those reactions. Those reactions are racist and therefore always bad and always evil.
00:01:35.820The adage is true. Fear did lead to anger. Anger at them. I blamed them for being robbed. I blamed them for everything.
00:01:54.120I'm writing this now because of a nightmare I had last night. I shouted at my neighbors, loud assholes who happen to be, who happen to be black.
00:02:03.820And all of a sudden, they came downstairs. I thought it was one dude, but ten people busted my door down. Terrified, my mother and I went off.
00:02:11.780When I woke up, still half in my dream, I groggily muttered,
00:02:35.720You're not allowed to feel any other way, or else you're racist and there's something wrong with you.
00:02:39.600So, basically, I'm terrified of young black guys around my age, to the point that I was fine with going to a predominantly white college and have self-identity issues.