SHNEAKO - November 18, 2021


I Don't Care About Anything Anymore


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

199.91487

Word Count

2,192

Sentence Count

15

Misogynist Sentences

1

Hate Speech Sentences

13


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.400 One take, what up, Patreon?
00:00:02.700 Stuff on my mind.
00:00:04.280 Literally gonna one take this and just try to
00:00:06.040 get it on camera because I don't
00:00:08.280 yeah, I don't
00:00:10.040 fucking care about anything anymore, yo.
00:00:12.680 I don't want to make this like
00:00:13.980 a therapy session, but I mean, that is kind of what
00:00:16.080 my commentaries are like.
00:00:18.300 It's just, but fuck, I don't
00:00:20.100 care about anything.
00:00:21.780 I was listening to Tim Dillon's podcast
00:00:23.800 yesterday, and he's talking about
00:00:26.020 there's a certain nihilism with Gen Z
00:00:28.540 because we've seen
00:00:29.660 so many systems lie and collapse and just prove that they're that they're all fraudulent
00:00:38.540 and we've seen a lot our generation has seen a lot of that happen over and over i mean you
00:00:42.400 could say that for previous generations but they've had a little more stability but just
00:00:46.260 everything is like i did i don't know can anyone relate to this like does anyone think that
00:00:52.160 everything is bullshit like i literally believe in nothing and i guess the the best thing to put
00:00:58.740 my faith in would be with the people but like there's just part of me that thinks that like
00:01:07.180 it's it's just hopeless that there's no point in and putting my faith in the people because people
00:01:11.440 there's too many of us we're not going to change and like how much effect can one person really
00:01:17.360 have the correct solution would be to think bigger and to be like okay I'm I should be the person to
00:01:25.820 make people think differently i should be the person to to bring unity or whatever but i'm not
00:01:31.660 fucking martin luther king i'm a youtuber at the same time i gotta think bigger than that
00:01:36.960 and i i'm struggling with this um i'm struggling with this because like i've done everything that
00:01:46.940 i wanted to do when i was 14 15 if you've been watching me back in the afro days or even before
00:01:51.480 that in the call of duty like gaming days i talked about everything that i wanted to do like i just
00:01:56.200 wanted to be doing i wanted to be living in new york city with my own place like being a successful
00:02:01.220 youtuber self-sustainable i didn't want to be in school i didn't want to have a job i wanted to be
00:02:05.300 doing stand-up comedy and i'm like i'm doing it i'm doing it i'm not really doing stand-up as much
00:02:11.080 as i had initially wanted to but i recently i've kind of fell out of love with it because it's just
00:02:15.820 like i don't know i've been going to a lot of shows and it's always just like the same
00:02:18.680 bullshit dick jokes and you know it just seems kind of corny recently and there's not a lot
00:02:24.300 enough thought-provoking stand-up like even Chappelle with his last special just talk about
00:02:29.920 trans people and it's it seems like they're just aiming for they're trying to be thought-provoking
00:02:35.520 but it's just it's just like mostly controversial for the sake of being controversial in my opinion
00:02:41.120 and so I'm losing like all right like for example like last year I made this video called who I
00:02:46.100 voted for and i made this statement at the end like like it made no sense to me why people were
00:02:52.180 celebrating so much that trump was gone because no matter like i understand why because everyone's
00:02:56.660 so left-leaning you know he's racist i'm like all right nothing is going to change
00:03:00.200 you're disillusioned you just like believe what the media tells you he's he's racist like okay
00:03:05.900 whatever what what i said your daily life is not going to change at all with trump being out of
00:03:11.080 office we even we had trump during covid like you guys and with nothing literally nothing has
00:03:16.880 changed nothing has changed we got the black vice president nothing nothing is she's the worst bro
00:03:22.140 was like have you even seen biden have a speech it's like the president doesn't matter at all
00:03:27.060 and that's just like a one example of what i'm talking about like nothing i i just have a hard
00:03:32.900 time putting my faith in anything because i just i i can't be convinced that anything matters i went
00:03:39.500 to church. I went to church last week. It was my girlfriend's, her great-grandmother's
00:03:44.140 memorial. It was my first time in a Catholic church. I grew up going to Catholic church.
00:03:48.540 It was kind of cool being able to do the pew, and immediately I did the sign of the cross.
00:03:52.820 It's all memory for me. But even that, I see the people praying with their rosaries.
00:04:01.560 I could tell they really need this. They're going through. I see these women, these old
00:04:06.660 ladies like clutching a rosary and praying and it's like I can just see their life like I know
00:04:13.360 that you know they probably have sick family and stuff like that and they're you know family that's
00:04:17.800 struggling and this is their this is their way to cope with um with the pain in their life but I
00:04:23.100 it's hard for me to see it as any other way any other anything else than just coping um like it's
00:04:31.040 helpful it's good like it's a good thing besides the homophobia but uh it's hard for me to believe
00:04:36.880 in that because i just i know i know it exists just because it helps people deal with their
00:04:42.340 daily existential crisis it helps them keep going and have belief and so it's hard for me to attach
00:04:48.120 myself to anything because i just i think of all of it as coping and any system is just i think
00:04:55.660 believing in anything is just bullshit and that's a dark thought and like it's very nihilistic but
00:05:02.880 i think a lot of people in my generation i don't know i don't know i've been i'm just leaving the
00:05:08.480 boxing gym right now um and that's like one thing that really helps me get my head in the right
00:05:14.940 place like punching stuff exercising you know tons of motion being exhausted really helps me
00:05:21.240 stop thinking about that stuff and I like the community aspect of it because it's a it's a
00:05:25.860 free program the gym I go to now it's run by the NYPD um yeah I train with cops you can call me
00:05:31.620 police whatever um but it's meant it's free for like kids 8 to 21 I'm 23 so I lied they know I'm
00:05:36.880 lying but um like every day I've been bringing up like mad Gatorades for for everybody and that
00:05:42.500 feels good like contributing to something like you know everybody says thank you when I come in
00:05:46.840 everybody fist bumps everybody there's lots of respect and for a place with fighting it's there's
00:05:51.600 a lot of respect in there and i like contributing to that like that that feels like i'm i don't know
00:05:56.460 i like doing good and like seeing these kids that otherwise would be in the streets seeing them like
00:06:02.180 focus on something like boxing like something positive and seeing them get like kids who are
00:06:06.360 like 12 way better than me who could probably beat the fuck out of me it's really it's inspiring to
00:06:10.640 see so i guess like humans really need community like we need to be a part of something um
00:06:16.680 a lot of people have church and they have like their political groups and whatever but and i
00:06:22.020 think a lot of you agree that's why you watch my videos like all politics is bullshit like anything
00:06:27.440 like any belief and that's all bullshit i i guess i you know this morning i was i dropped off marie
00:06:34.560 at the train station i saw these people with the booth outside you know uh giving out pamphlets
00:06:39.020 for sustainability um and i want fyi it was early in the morning i never wake up to sir i'm like
00:06:43.940 man should I just take a pamphlet and make them feel better and make it feel like they're doing
00:06:47.020 something good I'm like nah because I was I didn't like what am I going to do with the pamphlet I'm
00:06:51.400 not going to change my mind on sustainability I'm not probably not going to do anything different
00:06:54.640 you know I'm not in nature but it would just be so that they feel like they're doing something good
00:06:59.000 you know so that they feel like they're contributing um but yeah we we we really do
00:07:08.040 need to be a part of a community and it seems like they're trying to take it away more and more
00:07:13.240 with um you know social distancing stay inside people are more scared people are like putting
00:07:19.380 masks on and everything even with the vaccine booster shot like stay away from me uh oh because
00:07:24.000 of covid i'm not gonna see my family this thanksgiving it's like they're they're trying
00:07:29.020 to separate us in my opinion i think that they're trying to divide us more and we really do need
00:07:33.380 community and the world is obviously going more and more online people talk about the metaverse
00:07:38.540 and everything we're getting closer and closer to like a wally type universe so it's i'm trying
00:07:45.600 to find a type of community in uh in a world like this and i guess it has to be online i it's right
00:07:51.820 in front of me like this the community with patreon with youtube you know i have a community there and
00:07:56.620 i'm i'm realizing that i think too selfishly like um this is kind of sounding like therapy but you
00:08:04.180 know i'm i i'm realizing because like my my main channel is not doing as well anymore my second
00:08:10.900 channel is doing really well but like i'm kind of losing touch with my main channel i think because
00:08:16.880 i'm focusing too much on people other people's approval rather than trying to connect with
00:08:22.320 people and i'm thinking too much about like as i get closer to a million subscribers how do i get
00:08:26.500 to a million and the numbers are getting to my head and it's i'm losing ironically my last video
00:08:31.460 is called the death of empathy but even me like I'm losing that that empathy you know there's a
00:08:37.680 lot of things that I want to talk about but I don't because so many people I know watch my videos
00:08:41.220 and so I'm just I'm low-key hitting a wall right now and I'm trying to define my way out of it and
00:08:47.640 turn it into something positive again because it's it's bringing a lot of negativity to my head
00:08:54.720 like I would just be looking at YouTube and comparing myself to other people and looking
00:08:58.340 at the numbers and it's just it's not healthy um yeah let me talk talk to me in the comments
00:09:08.840 because has anyone think been thinking about this kind of thing like I was thinking really like I
00:09:12.700 want to do a street interview tomorrow and usually when I do street interviews I talk about stuff
00:09:16.520 that I'm I've been thinking about and all I've been thinking about like is what the fuck really
00:09:20.700 matters what should we believe in what's the point of any of this you know more people like
00:09:27.220 are realizing that jobs are bullshit that any systems like like working at an office and like
00:09:33.240 we're a family we're a family at kellogg's corporate like we're we're not a family like
00:09:41.680 this is more of us are realizing that okay like let's get money independently let's like invest
00:09:47.180 in crypto let's do nfts let's try to build an e-commerce business like everyone's trying to
00:09:52.600 make it for themselves but like all right when you get money when you have stability what do we
00:09:57.320 do with it what do i what do i contribute what greater good do i contribute to you know is
00:10:02.620 should i be one of those people with a sustainability booth or am i just am i just
00:10:08.340 doing that so that i feel good about how i'm spending my time am i actually helping
00:10:12.600 mr beast is actually like is actually doing that you know with team c's and team trees he's
00:10:18.780 actually contributing to a greater good at first when he was doing that stuff I'm like all right
00:10:23.540 he's just doing that so that he gets more view but it doesn't really matter why someone does that
00:10:28.360 like doing anything good like you shouldn't question that as long as they're doing something
00:10:33.380 good and I've been I've been selfish with my with my platform I've been thinking about it like a lot
00:10:39.840 of times I'm like I'm editing or I'm writing or I'm making a video I'm thinking like all right
00:10:43.140 how do I look cool how do I look cool instead of you know trying to spread truth or try to make
00:10:48.680 people think in a different way so talk to me in the comments um needed to get that off my chest
00:10:54.640 see that was one take i told you that was pretty fucking gay