SHNEAKO - November 08, 2025What's Your Biggest Change of Mind？
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Summary
In this episode, I sit down with writer and podcaster Andrew Torreggiani to talk about his life, his views on feminism, and his thoughts on the current state of the LGBTQ+ community. We talk about how he got started on his YouTube channel, why he left it, and why he decided to come back.
Transcript
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I used to be Republican and I used to be straight.
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I mean, I love New Zealand, but I realize that there's a lot more to life than just a small country.
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Was the idea that New York City was a place where you're going to make it in New York City?
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Well, since you're asking, I think that you'll have to decide to be happy.
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Maybe just that the only way I can be happy is to be sober.
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Maybe at about 40, I finally decided, yeah, I can do this.
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I think I was really insecure in, like, high school, but now that I'm a little older, I was just like, yo, being shy is going to get me absolutely nothing.
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Nice to meet you, Amanda. So you just said that I'm smart and I need to do better. Why'd you say that?
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I think that you're like a very artistic and like very creative person and I think that you've kind of fallen for the trap of like the grift which I get a little bit because I would too if it was like you're making so much money like it's alluring but I think that I think you should be more true to yourself and don't let people like yelling at you like I just don't want you to be as inflammatory as you are sometimes because I think you are a person of value and you have a lot of good shit to say.
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And I think you should direct that into better stuff, though, and not fall for the grift as much.
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Just some of your takes about, like, women and, like, kind of, like, the Andrew Tate-y type stuff.
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Like, that manosphere kind of garbage I don't really love.
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Is there, like, a point? What do you think is a belief that I should, yeah, that I should stop grifting?
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Just with, like, some, like, I can't think of, like, an exact, like, quote of yours, but I will say, like, just...
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It doesn't have to be a quote. I don't expect you to have that on deck, but like a belief or something that's incorrect.
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Just like, I would think just like some of the grifting stuff with just like the way you speak about women sometimes.
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I think you should like maybe reframe some of that.
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That's understandable. I think the pendulum swings one way and the other way.
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I think feminism went really far this way.
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And in New York, there was a time where like women were saying men are trash, kill all men.
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And a lot of that was, and I think it did correct.
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So although maybe it did go far, I think it did autocorrect and we're back somewhere a little more sensible now.
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Well, then I'd love to see you follow that autocorrection.
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And I'd love to see you get back to some of your old content.
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And I think that people would really, a lot of people, women included, gay people included, liberals included,
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would really fuck with you if you started to kind of go back to that
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or just come back a little bit more to the center
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and just don't follow all these other people that are making money hand over fist like that.
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I just got my YouTube channel back after three years, and YouTube apologized.
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I was one of the first figures to say Free Palestine a year before October 7th,
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and now every liberal is saying Free Palestine.
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The third one was like, they said I was transphobic for calling out Chris Tyson on Mr. Beast's channel.
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I said he was a pervert yeah I know I got so much backlash for that they said I hated him and like
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I hated trans people and then they're like oh you actually you were right this guy should not be in
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front of children I think people do need to listen better um but people will never listen to you if
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you're angry and in their face and inflammatory so I think it needs to come from both parties
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I think that like you I think that you could work on maybe uh talking to people and not such a uh
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what's the way yeah an inflammatory way like this conversation this is not inflammatory
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I think because nobody will ever, even if you're true, even if everything you speak is true,
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if you're angry and you're yelling all the time, no one will ever listen to you.
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And if you don't pick your words in a smart way, if you use derogatory words or start off with a derogatory statement,
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No matter if what you have to say is valid or not.
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So I think that, yeah, I enjoyed this conversation with you, though.
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And I appreciate you saying that. It was very nice to meet you.
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Nice to meet you, too. I hope you guys have a good day.
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Welcome back, guys. This is the first episode of the One Minute Podcast back on YouTube.
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It feels nice to not have to stream this. It feels nostalgic today.
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People have nice autumn clothes on. It's brisk outside.
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Reminds me of the stand-up comedy days, and we're going to find out after all this time,
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because it's been three years since I did this as a video.
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Upstairs, somebody had a sign that said vaccines are pseudoscience.
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And if you had that sign up maybe five years ago,
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people here would go tear that down and say you're committing acts of violence.
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thanks a lot man what's your name i'm emmy do you know that tennis player naomi osak are you
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gonna say i look like her i mean i'm sure you got that before you have a minute and that's
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what you say i have one minute okay so this is your train what is your biggest change of mind
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biggest change of mind i think i was really insecure in like high school especially early
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in high school and i didn't know that i could be alone and do things on my own for myself
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and so i relied on a lot of different people um but now that i'm a little older i think i understand
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that like i can rely on myself i can accomplish things on my own without like i guess asking
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others were you in a lot of long-term relationships were you like dependent on your boyfriend
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No, I guess, yeah, okay, so I was in a really long-term relationship with her for, like, two and a half years.
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And then, like, before that, it was, like, my friends or, like, my mom because I was in high school and I lived with my parents.
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But then, like, post-grad, I feel like living on my own in the city.
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and just like doing things for myself became an independent queen yeah i'll take that what changed
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what was the switch that flipped for you to become that i think the breakup it kind of forced me to
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be on my own um and then also like going to therapy i guess and like talking through it
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with someone who's like professional and could like guide me through that what did you learn
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in therapy that you could not learn elsewhere ooh that's really hard because i learned a lot
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in therapy every week um but something i like to tell people and that my therapist told me is that
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your emotions are always valid even if they might not be justified and i think that's very important
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for women to remember what does that mean valid um so okay i'm gonna do an example so let's just say
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right now um i'm like oh i missed the train because of you i blame it on you even though
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i agreed to like do this that's not justified right because i'm the one who made the decision
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to sit down however it's still valid because it's what i'm feeling like anything you feel is valid
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does that make sense because it's your like when something is valid it's like it means it's okay
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that you're feeling that or even if it's wrong to feel that way it's still okay that you're
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feeling that because those are your emotions does that make sense if you if you're mad at me for
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missing your train i'm not gonna that was just an example of like the distinction between justified
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and valid right should men go to therapy should men go to therapy i don't think therapy should
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be gendered i think that if you can i mean therapy is you need to come from a place of privilege to
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go to therapy but if you can afford it i would recommend anyone goes to therapy i think there's
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this rhetoric of you have to have like a mental illness or you have to have something quote unquote
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wrong with you to go to therapy but it can just you can go to therapy for something as negligible
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as like i hate grocery shopping for my husband all the way to i'm trying to get out of a toxic
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relationship whatever it is like you can go to therapy and you can find support what do you
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think stops most women from being dependent and being independent there's a lot i mean there's a
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lot of external factors right we live in a very patriarchal society so everyone does our condition
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i mean everyone does right but one group of people benefits from it another group of people
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is doesn't benefit from it right yeah i don't think so i think women would benefit from a
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matriarchal society? I don't know. Let's take like a finance bro at JP Morgan. He's benefiting
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off the patriarchy, right? Women have much higher standards that they have to reach. They just,
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there is a glass ceiling for women. So I feel like that. You measure it on business terms.
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I mean, but even, even the expectation that like women should stay at home and cook for their
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husband take care of their husband something like that right is a deep-seated belief that's rooted
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in centuries of patriarchy the pay is the patriarchy bad it's a patriarchy bad um let's say
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that women not having equal opportunities simply because of their gender which is something that
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they can't control, right? Nowadays you can. But let's just say, yeah, I mean, now we're, yeah,
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now we're getting something else. But yeah, I mean, anyone who identifies as a woman,
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they're going to face obstacles that have existed for a very long time. And so I do think it's bad
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because these obstacles in some ways are arbitrary. What obstacles do you face right now that I don't
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face? Because obstacles can mean a lot of things. I would say that women, let's talk about like
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health women have to think a lot about their health in a way that men don't necessarily have
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to um i had like a gynecology appointment yesterday and it was a moment where i thought
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damn there are so many things that we have to do to make sure like we have like sexual health that
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like men don't necessarily have to more appointments we have to book the procedures are more painful
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for example like iud insertion it's super painful but we don't really get much warning or much like
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support through it right like you get a little bit of a pill to open up your cervix and then
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you might get a little bit of like lidocaine on your cervix to kind of um numb it but that's it
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but it's a insurmountable amount of pain on the inverse though men die a lot younger and we have
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a higher suicide rate because our expectations is that we have to take over the danger situations
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and the provider and be the like if someone if an intruder comes in our house i'm the one who has
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to go there with a gun and figure it out if somebody attacks us it's the man that's oftentimes
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why i mean why we have a much shorter life expectancy than women so the health it's like
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yes you deal with some things but so do we do if the titanic sinks if the titanic sinks you're going
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on the lifeboats i'm i'm staying there and sinking playing the violin it's a great thing the titanic
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doesn't exist anymore and that modern cruise ships have lifeboats for everyone but the idea
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still exists and the expectation still does what idea that if things were to go south if an iceberg
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was going to hit us that i have to protect it while you guys go in the lifeboat what goes south
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that intruder comes in the home or somebody attacks or an invasion comes or that i live with
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a man right but what like i live on my own what if someone intrudes am i going to rely on a man
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Yeah, in a patriarchal society where there's families...
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Okay, I wasn't sure what the baseline here was.
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If an intruder comes, it's up to the man to protect in that situation.
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That factors into why men have a shorter life expectancy.
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My point is, yes, you have to deal with different health problems, but so do we.
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We also have to put ourselves in different situations.
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But do you have to carry a baby for nine months and risk your life giving birth to that child?
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No, but we have to deal with women our entire lives.
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you choose to put your life at risk if an intruder breaks in.
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Do you think the obstacles you face are the health?
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I think that's one of them. That was one example.
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But also, let's talk about sexual harassment, sexual assault.
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That's another really big one that we can talk about.
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Violent crime and suicide rate. We got that one.
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i i don't think it's productive or effective for the sake of de-stigmatizing mental health
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to gender suicide right like of course the the statistics and the numbers show that in the u.s
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right you're saying in the u.s or globally globally men it's both it's it's overwhelmingly
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men like over 80 percent over 80 percent of people who commit suicide victims are men yeah
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okay so i guess in that sense if it is a overwhelming majority it is gender but i do
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still think like i i personally don't think that we should gender things necessarily
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we i think it is important to ask like why is it that young men are committing suicide
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but i don't think it's productive the patriarchy doesn't exist if we're not going to gender that
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then stop saying we live in a patriarchal society we just live in a society and this is how it is
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don't gender that uh i think that's flawed that's a little bit applicationist that was what you just
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said you said we shouldn't gender things right in an ideal world there's a difference between
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an ideal world for me saying i don't think we should gender things and saying as a woman right
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now just objectively statistically ask a sociologist ask an anthropologist right i'm not
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i'm neither of those things even ask a scientist right women are at a disadvantage for a lot of
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different reasons just because men statistically commit more suicide doesn't mean the patriarchy
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doesn't exist right just following your line of logic that we shouldn't gender anything of logic
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so we shouldn't gender things but that doesn't mean the patriarchy doesn't exist though you're
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gendering it no now we're in a cyclical argument so i guess we can move on what was your biggest
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change of mind in life my biggest change of mind i've maybe at about 40 i finally decided yeah i
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can do this i only had fake confidence till i was 40 i don't know why i didn't believe i could do
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anything but really you can so i wish i had realized that when i was 20 instead of 40 but
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it's fine what is it that you did that you couldn't do before just work stuff you know
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am i smart enough to learn am i tenacious enough to make progress you know uh i wanted to do this
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one job and i never did it and then i started doing it i just maybe i was a problem the whole
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time you know like just step into it do it bad and eventually you'll do it good yeah you know
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what i mean like you gotta fail a couple times to succeed a million times and it's not even failure
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what failure what's that doesn't even exist nobody cares everyone wants you to succeed
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everyone they do you know especially here in new york if you fall down yeah i think someone will
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pick you up and they'll say you'll be fine keep going i found it to be the opposite in a lot of
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cases i found that yeah i think that i think your close family especially your mother doesn't really
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want you to succeed because that means that she's not able to protect you the same way so she still
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kind of wants you like with that that step where you break out and really succeed that's away from
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her protection and also a lot of friends maybe not true friends a lot of them don't really want
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you to succeed because their time you spent hanging out you are they're happy because you're
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playing you're both you're all losers and then once you're out a small ball it's safe right but
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my mother says something when she goes you know the first time you let your kid cross the street
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without holding their hand they're they're moving on their own like you know that's yeah but but it's
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I'm just trying to figure out where New Yorkers are at mentally.
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what's that you don't need permission did anyone give you permission to be here today
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you thought it you did it you could just do things you could do them great
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everyone is much you know don't wait for approval don't wait for permission just do it
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if somebody wants to stop you they will but they won't you know they won't and you'll figure it
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out you're so much you're everyone's very clever they are I think you know you said that you had
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fake confidence what is the difference between fake and real confidence you know moving forward
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I was just you know fitting in pretending I was like everyone else and then at some point you've
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got to take bold action you know you're going to ask people for help you got to tell them you don't
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know look i want to do this thing but i don't know anything about it can you help me that takes a lot
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of takes a lot of courage you know to ask for help everyone's always acting like they know
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everything but if you ask them sincerely they'll probably help you you know they'll probably help
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you if you show that you are sincere and you're going to do the work you know i always wanted to
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You have the radio voice, you sound like Opie and Anthony
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And I went here and I went there and I went there and there.
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So, coming up on Halloween here in New York City, we've got some pumpkins here.
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What was your biggest change of mind in life?
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Living there for about four or five months.
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It's like some crazy shit going down there, man.
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It's like the more ghetto of places, the more home I feel.
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It's just like I communicate with everybody so I can understand the struggle, this and that.
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What's the most dangerous thing you've done?
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Because I was isolated for four years in the house.
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i used to be republican and i used to be straight now i it's pretty big now i am very gay and very
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not republican yeah how did you come to that conclusion uh went to school at brown
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yeah what was it at brown it's a funny name for a school to become gay at you found out you were
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Gaia Brown. It's oh god oh god um yeah very queer friendly school was just introduced to a lot of
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ideas I was not exposed to in high school. If you had to write a scene of your movie you know of
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your life movie what was the scene that like was it the switch that flipped? I came from like a
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refugee house in New Mexico um there was yeah like I didn't really meet too many people outside
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of my small little viet community and then i went to brown and i met like oh my god there's like
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black people jewish people international people people with like just like just people from all
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over the world different walks of life and i was like oh the world is just a lot bigger than my own
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than my little bubble the idea that new york city was a place where um you're gonna make it in new
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york city i believe new york city makes you moved here and realized that yeah it totally like i came
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here like i'm gonna be the shit and like i'm gonna be the number one and everyone's gonna care about
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me and like no one really cares about anyone we're all trying our best to figure out how to make it
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through the world i don't know every word to say i say the wrong thing someone hates it um i try to
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make it there's 6 000 other people going for the same application as you and i think what i've
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learned is that new york city has so many wonderful opportunities for you right where you are wherever
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you are in life and it's sort of your job to just like take that as a blessing and to uh honor it
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and and and hone it yeah what did you expect before you came here that you were gonna take
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it over it was everyone thinks they're just gonna take every that everything's just gonna be given
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to them or that they're gonna be the first one on the list there's competition for a reason and
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there's i don't think it's a bad thing and i think um i think people become very jaded because they're
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not succeeding and i've been through i've been through loss of job loss of home it hasn't stopped
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me honestly it's just really kind of grounded me as a new yorker and just made me love like
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the the hustle sure but like the the the life of a new yorker sometimes there's struggle sometimes
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there's wins i feel like i i kind of matured a bit when i was able to lose things and just
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gain a sense of understanding about um new york city has so much for you where you are
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and you don't have to always climb there's so much there's so much even when there's little
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it sounds like you've been humbled in a good way what was there what was that character development
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scene if you had to write it homelessness yeah um people have such a such a stigma about that
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and i understand why from uh from not being homeless in my life to being homeless in my life
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I can understand the stigma, where it comes from.
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But what I think I've learned is when you watch so many people leave you behind
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and forget about who you are and don't want to communicate with you
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Being homeless isn't the same as being hopeless.
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And so some of these people on the streets that are going through homelessness,
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And so you witnessed that, and you were humbled, and you were able to, I don't know, be mature about, like, okay, this is part of my struggle.
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I mean, look at all my favorite artists, you know, Viola Davis.
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And I think it's often talked about how great and fantastic they are.
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But we're not talking about, like, the climb to get there.
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It's part of the story. It's part of a New Yorker story.
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I was able to gain this understanding from losing it all.
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Yeah, I don't live in this privileged mindset of,
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and every single little thing that happens to me
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and woe is me, and my boyfriend broke up with me.
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I genuinely want to take my time to care about other people.
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When I see other people in pain, it hurts because I've been through pain and I understand what that's like.
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But the worst thing to witness is someone being hopeless.
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And honestly, I had to fight through the homelessness and joblessness to find hope.
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And through that, I found so much strength and so much power.
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And I wish people would understand that if you lose something, it is for your betterment.
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If you are able to hold faith and be strong through it, this is a beautiful blessing of life.
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I think deciding not to be shy, even though I still am shy in some ways.
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When I went to college, I actually went right here.
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When I first got there, you know, everybody was, you know, going up to everyone and saying hello and everything.
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but when i didn't have that crutch i was just like yo being shy is gonna get me absolutely nothing
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so i just decided to like i don't know i'm extroverted to fierce it and do like a
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alter ego kind of thing do you think anyone's actually introverted or are they just shy
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um i think i think that there could be some people who are introverted um but i i wrote you know what
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And this is super weird, but, like, you know how most people don't have memories
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until they're, like, three or five years old or whatever?
00:28:06.800
I went up to this lady, and I was like, hi, you know?
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And I thought she was probably laughing, like, aw, I'm so cute, right?
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And I remember, like, hiding behind my mother's leg, and then I became shy that day.
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And I was, like, painfully, painfully, painfully shy for the remainder of my childhood.
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How did you realize that, that that was what made you shy?
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Because I remembered it. It was, like, a traumatic event.
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So while you were shy, you remembered that being the reason?
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I don't know, but I was told I was a really, like, bubbly baby, would go to anyone, always smiling.
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And then I remember that day becoming shy, like just weird stuff.
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Like my mom would ask me to like in a restaurant, go ask the waitress for some napkins or whatever.
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And I'd be like, you know, like just crazy shy.
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So there were a few different levels of me like emerging from it.
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One was in eighth grade, one was in 11th grade, and then one was in college.
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how would you advise people get out of their shyness the way you did um just know that you
00:29:24.940
there's no easy way to do it you know like you're gonna be nervous to do something you haven't ever
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done before but um i think also because i'm an only child i have to like go out and and get
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There's no already group of people waiting to, like, you know,
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I have to, like, break into somebody else's club or clique or whatever all the time, you know?
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So I think just, like I said, I just decided to, like, I'm going to just form an alter ego
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or go into a different part of my mind or something.
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like with work or with life or some people said like i found out i was gay some people said i
00:30:16.800
realized i was depressed some people said i gave up drugs you know there was a change of mind some
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people said i used to be republican you know something that drastically change your mind
00:30:24.380
that drastically changed your life forever what was that i realized that i mean i love new zealand
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but i realized that there's a lot more to life than just a small country um and that i realized
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is that there are so many more cultures and communities
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and people out in the big world that is worth getting to know.
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And so I just wanted to get out and experience life
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instead of staying confined into a small country or a small community
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and sort of make the most of what life is and what we get given.
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And living on the Lord of the Rings set forever.
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I was like, I've got to go experience the big world.
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What was the change? What made you realize that?
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She was a travel agent, so she kind of got us out and exploring,
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and I sort of realized, I was like, you know what,
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this is a life that I want to live, and my work involves that.
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I work on super yachts, so I kind of have this extravagant life
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of being able to travel overseas and meet incredible people,
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and it sort of gets me out, and it's really, really cool.
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What is one experience that you've had or one story that you could share
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I guess with working on super yachts I've seen what that one percent live I've seen how they live
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and all I can say is having the wealth doesn't actually give you what you think it could give
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you I mean it gives you some form of experiences but it doesn't give you the happiness that I feel
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like some people crave they think once I get a million dollars or once I get once I've made it
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and I get that first million, like, I will have the rest of my life set.
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I feel like a lot of people, once they get that, they just kind of keep chasing
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and they never actually find that true happiness.
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And I think once you find happiness in yourself
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and find happiness in the smaller things in life,
00:32:16.020
you really get to make the most of, or you really get to start living your life.
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Don't try to chase the millions because it doesn't actually give you
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you've seen some unhappy rich people very very unhappy rich people yeah so you go in somewhere
00:32:32.000
special a wine bar i like your scarf thank you is it a date no who are you going with
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00:32:39.680
them johns okay third reeling nope he's gay okay what's your what was your biggest change of mind
00:32:47.900
in life my biggest change of mind maybe just that the only way i can be happy is to be sober
00:32:54.280
it's kind of what i'm dealing with right now so going to a wine bar from other things
00:32:59.420
but i i would eventually like to but i've never struggled with alcohol so
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yeah how did you realize that it's difficult to change i feel like just once it gets to that
00:33:11.140
point like once you realize like you can't stop despite like negative consequences it kind of
00:33:15.580
just like like i don't know i just i was at rock bottom i was really depressed um
00:33:23.560
like never had thoughts like that before and it was just like okay like i am no longer myself
00:33:31.780
like i kind of lost myself ever since i started using substances and yeah i think it's just like
00:33:38.840
in order for me to like truly be myself and like find myself i need to be sober well you seem like
00:33:43.600
you're in a happier place now yeah i mean i i just hit rock bottom recently so you can only go up
00:33:55.380
I mean, there's a lot of people in my family that struggle with addiction.
00:33:58.020
So, like, I'm glad I'm learning it this young because I do think it could get a lot worse.
00:34:08.160
What advice would you give to people who are struggling with this?
00:34:19.260
Um, yeah, just, like, put yourself first before a job, before anything, before a relationship.
00:34:32.060
Um, well, since you're asking, I think that you have to decide to be happy.
00:34:38.420
I feel like sometimes you feel like, oh, you know, it's something like that, right?
00:34:41.740
I feel like sometimes you feel like, oh, you're just supposed to, like, happiness is supposed to come.
00:34:47.900
Like, you can't just think that, like, oh, I'm going to wake up happy.
00:34:52.400
You have to decide, okay, this is what I'm going through right now.
00:34:56.040
And you have different moments where you're like, okay, I'm happy because of this.
00:35:00.340
You have to make the effort to actually be happy.
00:35:03.760
When did you realize that, and what was the switch that flipped?
00:35:08.700
My mom had breast cancer, and this was back in, like, 2019, 2018.
00:35:13.240
She had breast cancer, and I was just like, dang.
00:35:23.720
And I was like, you know what, for the fact that you're the one that's actually going through this,
00:35:26.720
you're experiencing this, and you're deciding to be happy, let me also decide to be happy.
00:35:37.120
And I think, like, a lot of people are like, oh, when you're going through that process,
00:35:40.140
if you're positive about it, you're, even though it's, like, it's whatever is going to happen.
00:35:44.960
But if you're positive about it, you'll have a better outcome.
00:35:47.460
yeah so she had a good outcome and it's i have her to this very day so i'm just happy about that
00:35:53.200
i think that goes with everything in life it's always better to remove any negative thoughts
00:35:58.580
in every situation what advice would you have for people in their 20s because you're saying
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you had that realization in your 40s a little off a little off to be don't fucking waste your youth
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and promise on on drugs and alcohol because it's just going to slow you down you know even if you
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don't die you know it's a waste of time get on with it get on with what you really really want
00:36:21.920
to do because you can make a lot of progress fast when you still got that sparkle and people in
00:36:27.380
their 20s they got that shine still you know they got youth and beauty and and promise don't waste
00:36:35.120
it get on with it you know see where it takes you you'll be you'll be thrilled you'll be thrilled
00:36:41.180
do you think it's a balance or should it be sobriety no it's like a balance just like you
00:36:45.320
know don't give it more than it's due you know like because it is mostly a waste of time it's
00:36:51.680
fun it's it's a lot of fun it's a lot of fun i mean but don't waste your time you know having
00:36:58.020
fun a waste of time no but i mean it's not going to get you anywhere you know there's a lot more
00:37:03.100
exciting things you can be doing and uh i mean i threw my youth away with both hands just like
00:37:07.720
everyone else you know but like i wish i had just just gotten to it a little faster you know like i
00:37:15.520
look at you here you are doing your thing you got a cameraman you got an organization you got like a
00:37:20.640
guy who gets new victims and he's good and like you know you have some organization going i didn't
00:37:27.400
have no organization going tell me your name again i forgot sneeko tell me sneeko sneeko what's your
00:37:35.280
Jim Jim Jim thanks so much for coming thanks for and good luck you have a good
00:37:39.540
dinner you're going someplace man this is Sneeko Sneeko New York City West 4th
00:37:45.720
Street where everything's happening you know why I'm here cuz Sneeko's here the
00:37:51.520
full three-hour version of this podcast is available on patreon I finally
00:37:55.040
reopened it and I'm also releasing the kind of quality podcast with Cass again
00:37:59.160
the first episode is up on there along with all my editing tutorials and years