SHNEAKO - November 08, 2025


What's Your Biggest Change of Mind？


Episode Stats

Length

38 minutes

Words per Minute

189.93025

Word Count

7,234

Sentence Count

312

Misogynist Sentences

16

Hate Speech Sentences

16


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 What was your biggest change of mind in life?
00:00:03.180 Mmm, biggest change of mind.
00:00:04.960 Biggest change of mind.
00:00:06.420 My biggest change of mind?
00:00:09.920 What do you mean?
00:00:11.020 God.
00:00:12.140 Um.
00:00:13.360 Hmm.
00:00:13.880 Uh.
00:00:14.600 Huh.
00:00:16.160 Fucking.
00:00:16.940 I used to be Republican and I used to be straight.
00:00:19.640 Now I am very gay and very not Republican.
00:00:25.000 I mean, I love New Zealand, but I realize that there's a lot more to life than just a small country.
00:00:30.360 Was the idea that New York City was a place where you're going to make it in New York City?
00:00:35.580 I believe New York City makes you.
00:00:37.520 Murders and executions definitely changed me.
00:00:40.920 Well, since you're asking, I think that you'll have to decide to be happy.
00:00:45.000 Maybe just that the only way I can be happy is to be sober.
00:00:47.860 Maybe at about 40, I finally decided, yeah, I can do this.
00:00:51.860 I only had fake confidence until I was 40.
00:00:54.460 I think I was really insecure in, like, high school, but now that I'm a little older, I was just like, yo, being shy is going to get me absolutely nothing.
00:01:04.560 So I just decided to, like, I don't know.
00:01:09.000 What's your name?
00:01:10.000 My name's Amanda. Nice to meet you.
00:01:11.480 Nice to meet you, Amanda. So you just said that I'm smart and I need to do better. Why'd you say that?
00:01:15.900 I think that you're like a very artistic and like very creative person and I think that you've kind of fallen for the trap of like the grift which I get a little bit because I would too if it was like you're making so much money like it's alluring but I think that I think you should be more true to yourself and don't let people like yelling at you like I just don't want you to be as inflammatory as you are sometimes because I think you are a person of value and you have a lot of good shit to say.
00:01:43.140 And I think you should direct that into better stuff, though, and not fall for the grift as much.
00:01:48.040 What do you think I grifted?
00:01:50.140 Just some of your takes about, like, women and, like, kind of, like, the Andrew Tate-y type stuff.
00:01:54.760 Like, that manosphere kind of garbage I don't really love.
00:01:57.860 Is there, like, a point? What do you think is a belief that I should, yeah, that I should stop grifting?
00:02:05.300 Just with, like, some, like, I can't think of, like, an exact, like, quote of yours, but I will say, like, just...
00:02:11.540 It doesn't have to be a quote. I don't expect you to have that on deck, but like a belief or something that's incorrect.
00:02:17.180 Just like, I would think just like some of the grifting stuff with just like the way you speak about women sometimes.
00:02:24.140 I think you should like maybe reframe some of that.
00:02:27.820 That's understandable. I think the pendulum swings one way and the other way.
00:02:30.900 I think feminism went really far this way.
00:02:33.860 And in New York, there was a time where like women were saying men are trash, kill all men.
00:02:37.640 And a lot of that was, and I think it did correct.
00:02:39.760 So although maybe it did go far, I think it did autocorrect and we're back somewhere a little more sensible now.
00:02:45.600 Okay.
00:02:46.220 Well, then I'd love to see you follow that autocorrection.
00:02:48.860 And I'd love to see you get back to some of your old content.
00:02:52.840 You're a creative guy.
00:02:53.840 I think you have a lot of value.
00:02:55.540 I appreciate that.
00:02:56.320 And I think that people would really, a lot of people, women included, gay people included, liberals included,
00:03:02.160 would really fuck with you if you started to kind of go back to that
00:03:05.140 or just come back a little bit more to the center
00:03:08.260 and just don't follow all these other people that are making money hand over fist like that.
00:03:12.780 It's not the right way.
00:03:13.820 I mean, it wasn't for money.
00:03:14.740 I lost so much talking about this.
00:03:16.800 I just got my YouTube channel back after three years, and YouTube apologized.
00:03:20.460 They said that I was right.
00:03:21.880 Like, I got banned for COVID misinformation.
00:03:24.140 And one thing that liberals agree with me on,
00:03:25.720 I was one of the first figures to say Free Palestine a year before October 7th,
00:03:30.560 and now every liberal is saying Free Palestine.
00:03:32.820 The third one was like, they said I was transphobic for calling out Chris Tyson on Mr. Beast's channel.
00:03:37.600 I said he was a pervert yeah I know I got so much backlash for that they said I hated him and like
00:03:43.060 I hated trans people and then they're like oh you actually you were right this guy should not be in
00:03:46.700 front of children I think people do need to listen better um but people will never listen to you if
00:03:51.520 you're angry and in their face and inflammatory so I think it needs to come from both parties
00:03:55.460 I think that like you I think that you could work on maybe uh talking to people and not such a uh
00:04:02.560 what's the way yeah an inflammatory way like this conversation this is not inflammatory
00:04:06.380 I know, but it's the opposite.
00:04:07.300 It's the solution.
00:04:07.760 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:04:08.220 It's the solution.
00:04:09.240 Don't try and bait people.
00:04:10.920 I think because nobody will ever, even if you're true, even if everything you speak is true,
00:04:16.280 if you're angry and you're yelling all the time, no one will ever listen to you.
00:04:19.540 And if you don't pick your words in a smart way, if you use derogatory words or start off with a derogatory statement,
00:04:27.140 people are going to turn you off immediately.
00:04:28.940 No matter if what you have to say is valid or not.
00:04:32.780 So I think that, yeah, I enjoyed this conversation with you, though.
00:04:36.320 And I appreciate you saying that. It was very nice to meet you.
00:04:38.740 It was nice to meet you.
00:04:39.500 Nice to meet you, too. I hope you guys have a good day.
00:04:46.400 Welcome back, guys. This is the first episode of the One Minute Podcast back on YouTube.
00:04:50.680 It feels nice to not have to stream this. It feels nostalgic today.
00:04:54.320 People have nice autumn clothes on. It's brisk outside.
00:04:58.020 Reminds me of the stand-up comedy days, and we're going to find out after all this time,
00:05:01.960 because it's been three years since I did this as a video.
00:05:05.340 What was your biggest change of mind?
00:05:08.100 Upstairs, somebody had a sign that said vaccines are pseudoscience.
00:05:12.800 And if you had that sign up maybe five years ago,
00:05:14.660 people here would go tear that down and say you're committing acts of violence.
00:05:18.340 But now everyone's like, yeah, you're right.
00:05:20.960 What was your biggest change of mind?
00:05:24.080 Give me a second.
00:05:26.820 Uh, sure. Okay.
00:05:29.360 thanks a lot man what's your name i'm emmy do you know that tennis player naomi osak are you
00:05:39.320 gonna say i look like her i mean i'm sure you got that before you have a minute and that's
00:05:43.500 what you say i have one minute okay so this is your train what is your biggest change of mind
00:05:47.940 biggest change of mind i think i was really insecure in like high school especially early
00:05:55.860 in high school and i didn't know that i could be alone and do things on my own for myself
00:06:00.640 and so i relied on a lot of different people um but now that i'm a little older i think i understand
00:06:07.380 that like i can rely on myself i can accomplish things on my own without like i guess asking
00:06:13.440 others were you in a lot of long-term relationships were you like dependent on your boyfriend
00:06:18.620 No.
00:06:20.320 Girlfriend, but also, no.
00:06:22.720 No, I'm not allowed to.
00:06:25.720 I'm not allowed to.
00:06:26.520 I don't judge.
00:06:29.200 No, I guess, yeah, okay, so I was in a really long-term relationship with her for, like, two and a half years.
00:06:34.240 I was relying on her in a lot of ways.
00:06:36.420 And then, like, before that, it was, like, my friends or, like, my mom because I was in high school and I lived with my parents.
00:06:43.300 But then, like, post-grad, I feel like living on my own in the city.
00:06:47.620 and just like doing things for myself became an independent queen yeah i'll take that what changed
00:06:54.660 what was the switch that flipped for you to become that i think the breakup it kind of forced me to
00:07:00.740 be on my own um and then also like going to therapy i guess and like talking through it
00:07:06.580 with someone who's like professional and could like guide me through that what did you learn
00:07:10.580 in therapy that you could not learn elsewhere ooh that's really hard because i learned a lot
00:07:15.700 in therapy every week um but something i like to tell people and that my therapist told me is that
00:07:21.860 your emotions are always valid even if they might not be justified and i think that's very important
00:07:30.900 for women to remember what does that mean valid um so okay i'm gonna do an example so let's just say
00:07:38.740 right now um i'm like oh i missed the train because of you i blame it on you even though
00:07:46.300 i agreed to like do this that's not justified right because i'm the one who made the decision
00:07:50.620 to sit down however it's still valid because it's what i'm feeling like anything you feel is valid
00:07:55.800 does that make sense because it's your like when something is valid it's like it means it's okay
00:08:04.620 that you're feeling that or even if it's wrong to feel that way it's still okay that you're
00:08:09.840 feeling that because those are your emotions does that make sense if you if you're mad at me for
00:08:15.640 missing your train i'm not gonna that was just an example of like the distinction between justified
00:08:20.280 and valid right should men go to therapy should men go to therapy i don't think therapy should
00:08:25.160 be gendered i think that if you can i mean therapy is you need to come from a place of privilege to
00:08:32.180 go to therapy but if you can afford it i would recommend anyone goes to therapy i think there's
00:08:36.760 this rhetoric of you have to have like a mental illness or you have to have something quote unquote
00:08:40.860 wrong with you to go to therapy but it can just you can go to therapy for something as negligible
00:08:46.980 as like i hate grocery shopping for my husband all the way to i'm trying to get out of a toxic
00:08:52.680 relationship whatever it is like you can go to therapy and you can find support what do you
00:08:56.960 think stops most women from being dependent and being independent there's a lot i mean there's a
00:09:02.420 lot of external factors right we live in a very patriarchal society so everyone does our condition
00:09:10.600 i mean everyone does right but one group of people benefits from it another group of people
00:09:16.460 is doesn't benefit from it right yeah i don't think so i think women would benefit from a
00:09:22.180 matriarchal society? I don't know. Let's take like a finance bro at JP Morgan. He's benefiting
00:09:28.320 off the patriarchy, right? Women have much higher standards that they have to reach. They just,
00:09:35.340 there is a glass ceiling for women. So I feel like that. You measure it on business terms.
00:09:41.140 I mean, but even, even the expectation that like women should stay at home and cook for their
00:09:47.420 husband take care of their husband something like that right is a deep-seated belief that's rooted
00:09:54.040 in centuries of patriarchy the pay is the patriarchy bad it's a patriarchy bad um let's say
00:10:03.780 that women not having equal opportunities simply because of their gender which is something that
00:10:12.300 they can't control, right? Nowadays you can. But let's just say, yeah, I mean, now we're, yeah,
00:10:18.860 now we're getting something else. But yeah, I mean, anyone who identifies as a woman,
00:10:22.700 they're going to face obstacles that have existed for a very long time. And so I do think it's bad
00:10:29.900 because these obstacles in some ways are arbitrary. What obstacles do you face right now that I don't
00:10:34.080 face? Because obstacles can mean a lot of things. I would say that women, let's talk about like
00:10:39.940 health women have to think a lot about their health in a way that men don't necessarily have
00:10:45.860 to um i had like a gynecology appointment yesterday and it was a moment where i thought
00:10:51.660 damn there are so many things that we have to do to make sure like we have like sexual health that
00:10:57.940 like men don't necessarily have to more appointments we have to book the procedures are more painful
00:11:03.900 for example like iud insertion it's super painful but we don't really get much warning or much like
00:11:11.620 support through it right like you get a little bit of a pill to open up your cervix and then
00:11:16.480 you might get a little bit of like lidocaine on your cervix to kind of um numb it but that's it
00:11:22.340 but it's a insurmountable amount of pain on the inverse though men die a lot younger and we have
00:11:28.240 a higher suicide rate because our expectations is that we have to take over the danger situations
00:11:33.840 and the provider and be the like if someone if an intruder comes in our house i'm the one who has
00:11:39.300 to go there with a gun and figure it out if somebody attacks us it's the man that's oftentimes
00:11:43.200 why i mean why we have a much shorter life expectancy than women so the health it's like
00:11:47.300 yes you deal with some things but so do we do if the titanic sinks if the titanic sinks you're going
00:11:52.380 on the lifeboats i'm i'm staying there and sinking playing the violin it's a great thing the titanic
00:11:56.640 doesn't exist anymore and that modern cruise ships have lifeboats for everyone but the idea
00:12:02.760 still exists and the expectation still does what idea that if things were to go south if an iceberg
00:12:08.300 was going to hit us that i have to protect it while you guys go in the lifeboat what goes south
00:12:12.760 that intruder comes in the home or somebody attacks or an invasion comes or that i live with
00:12:19.340 a man right but what like i live on my own what if someone intrudes am i going to rely on a man
00:12:24.160 No, I'm going to rely on myself.
00:12:25.580 You're the outlier, but for the...
00:12:28.100 My outlier?
00:12:29.280 Yeah, in a patriarchal society where there's families...
00:12:31.960 Okay, I wasn't sure what the baseline here was.
00:12:34.020 In a family.
00:12:35.580 Okay.
00:12:36.300 What does family mean to you?
00:12:38.280 Like a mother, father, and children.
00:12:40.260 Right.
00:12:41.060 If an intruder comes...
00:12:42.160 Traditional nuclear family.
00:12:43.580 Right.
00:12:43.960 Okay.
00:12:44.220 If an intruder comes, it's up to the man to protect in that situation.
00:12:48.340 That factors into why men have a shorter life expectancy.
00:12:50.840 My point is, yes, you have to deal with different health problems, but so do we.
00:12:55.340 We also have to put ourselves in different situations.
00:12:57.780 So it does balance.
00:12:59.800 But do you have to carry a baby for nine months and risk your life giving birth to that child?
00:13:05.040 No, but we have to deal with women our entire lives.
00:13:08.060 No, you don't. That's your own choice.
00:13:09.940 You make a decision.
00:13:12.020 You have autonomy. You're an adult, right?
00:13:13.900 I'm assuming you're over 18.
00:13:15.720 You have a decision.
00:13:16.960 You choose to get married.
00:13:18.380 You choose to have kids.
00:13:19.760 you choose to put your life at risk if an intruder breaks in.
00:13:25.420 Do you think the obstacles you face are the health?
00:13:29.880 I think that's one of them. That was one example.
00:13:32.080 But also, let's talk about sexual harassment, sexual assault.
00:13:37.000 That's another really big one that we can talk about.
00:13:40.140 Violent crime and suicide rate. We got that one.
00:13:43.140 i i don't think it's productive or effective for the sake of de-stigmatizing mental health
00:13:51.060 to gender suicide right like of course the the statistics and the numbers show that in the u.s
00:13:58.060 right you're saying in the u.s or globally globally men it's both it's it's overwhelmingly
00:14:04.020 men like over 80 percent over 80 percent of people who commit suicide victims are men yeah
00:14:08.920 okay so i guess in that sense if it is a overwhelming majority it is gender but i do
00:14:15.020 still think like i i personally don't think that we should gender things necessarily
00:14:24.380 we i think it is important to ask like why is it that young men are committing suicide
00:14:31.700 but i don't think it's productive the patriarchy doesn't exist if we're not going to gender that
00:14:35.900 then stop saying we live in a patriarchal society we just live in a society and this is how it is
00:14:39.660 don't gender that uh i think that's flawed that's a little bit applicationist that was what you just
00:14:48.300 said you said we shouldn't gender things right in an ideal world there's a difference between
00:14:54.040 an ideal world for me saying i don't think we should gender things and saying as a woman right
00:14:59.600 now just objectively statistically ask a sociologist ask an anthropologist right i'm not
00:15:06.000 i'm neither of those things even ask a scientist right women are at a disadvantage for a lot of
00:15:12.160 different reasons just because men statistically commit more suicide doesn't mean the patriarchy
00:15:18.060 doesn't exist right just following your line of logic that we shouldn't gender anything of logic
00:15:22.080 so we shouldn't gender things but that doesn't mean the patriarchy doesn't exist though you're
00:15:26.600 gendering it no now we're in a cyclical argument so i guess we can move on what was your biggest
00:15:32.140 change of mind in life my biggest change of mind i've maybe at about 40 i finally decided yeah i
00:15:40.500 can do this i only had fake confidence till i was 40 i don't know why i didn't believe i could do
00:15:47.180 anything but really you can so i wish i had realized that when i was 20 instead of 40 but
00:15:53.700 it's fine what is it that you did that you couldn't do before just work stuff you know
00:16:00.500 am i smart enough to learn am i tenacious enough to make progress you know uh i wanted to do this
00:16:09.920 one job and i never did it and then i started doing it i just maybe i was a problem the whole
00:16:15.820 time you know like just step into it do it bad and eventually you'll do it good yeah you know
00:16:22.600 what i mean like you gotta fail a couple times to succeed a million times and it's not even failure
00:16:26.560 what failure what's that doesn't even exist nobody cares everyone wants you to succeed
00:16:30.880 everyone they do you know especially here in new york if you fall down yeah i think someone will
00:16:37.620 pick you up and they'll say you'll be fine keep going i found it to be the opposite in a lot of
00:16:42.780 cases i found that yeah i think that i think your close family especially your mother doesn't really
00:16:47.420 want you to succeed because that means that she's not able to protect you the same way so she still
00:16:52.040 kind of wants you like with that that step where you break out and really succeed that's away from
00:16:56.500 her protection and also a lot of friends maybe not true friends a lot of them don't really want
00:17:00.900 you to succeed because their time you spent hanging out you are they're happy because you're
00:17:04.340 playing you're both you're all losers and then once you're out a small ball it's safe right but
00:17:08.600 my mother says something when she goes you know the first time you let your kid cross the street
00:17:11.660 without holding their hand they're they're moving on their own like you know that's yeah but but it's
00:17:19.240 It happens fast, you know.
00:17:21.480 Well, I hope your mother wants you to succeed.
00:17:24.280 You look confident, and here you are.
00:17:27.260 You've got your subway table going.
00:17:30.180 You've got the pumpkins, too.
00:17:30.980 You've got the pumpkins.
00:17:32.220 You've got some seasonal action going here.
00:17:36.880 What is this podcast?
00:17:37.960 I'm just trying to figure out where New Yorkers are at mentally.
00:17:41.240 What you said is interesting.
00:17:42.440 What do you think was holding you back?
00:17:43.960 Me.
00:17:44.820 Just waiting for permission.
00:17:47.220 what's that you don't need permission did anyone give you permission to be here today
00:17:53.440 you thought it you did it you could just do things you could do them great
00:17:59.140 everyone is much you know don't wait for approval don't wait for permission just do it
00:18:06.440 if somebody wants to stop you they will but they won't you know they won't and you'll figure it
00:18:12.720 out you're so much you're everyone's very clever they are I think you know you said that you had
00:18:20.800 fake confidence what is the difference between fake and real confidence you know moving forward
00:18:26.560 I was just you know fitting in pretending I was like everyone else and then at some point you've
00:18:32.340 got to take bold action you know you're going to ask people for help you got to tell them you don't
00:18:38.920 know look i want to do this thing but i don't know anything about it can you help me that takes a lot
00:18:44.900 of takes a lot of courage you know to ask for help everyone's always acting like they know
00:18:50.600 everything but if you ask them sincerely they'll probably help you you know they'll probably help
00:18:59.440 you if you show that you are sincere and you're going to do the work you know i always wanted to
00:19:06.040 I always wanted to like narrate and talk
00:19:09.700 be on like the radio, on television
00:19:11.760 You have the radio voice, you sound like Opie and Anthony
00:19:13.620 Yeah, so you know
00:19:15.500 people who are nursing or pregnant
00:19:17.720 or may become pregnant
00:19:18.840 should not take Wigo V
00:19:21.640 or whatever they take
00:19:22.640 I was like I want to do that
00:19:24.540 but I didn't know how
00:19:25.760 and I knew some people who did it
00:19:27.460 but I was afraid to ask them
00:19:28.580 because I was ashamed
00:19:30.840 like that I didn't know anything
00:19:32.980 but eventually I got over my bad self
00:19:35.220 And I asked a lot of questions.
00:19:36.980 And I went here and I went there and I went there and there.
00:19:38.980 Now I do it all the time.
00:19:40.400 That's what I do.
00:19:41.820 You know?
00:19:42.460 I do a lot of narrating, TV, radio stuff.
00:19:44.780 Do you do books too?
00:19:45.940 Yeah.
00:19:46.820 I don't like the books though.
00:19:48.140 I did four.
00:19:49.080 It's too long.
00:19:50.200 It was lonely.
00:19:51.100 It was like being at a party.
00:19:53.240 You're the only guest, you know?
00:19:55.240 And you've got to really focus.
00:19:58.540 Can I hear the radio voice?
00:20:00.120 Can you do an ad for this pumpkin?
00:20:01.360 I just tried.
00:20:03.760 The trick is, just be you.
00:20:06.440 So, coming up on Halloween here in New York City, we've got some pumpkins here.
00:20:10.740 Everyone loves them.
00:20:11.580 Everyone wants one.
00:20:12.820 Puts you in the spirit.
00:20:13.700 Puts you in the mood.
00:20:14.740 Hey, be nice to yourself.
00:20:16.460 Get yourself a pumpkin.
00:20:18.080 You'll love it.
00:20:18.940 I'm going to buy it now.
00:20:20.040 What was your biggest change of mind in life?
00:20:23.240 Getting the fuck out of the house.
00:20:25.380 Be on the street streets.
00:20:27.480 Being in Marshall Square Park after dark.
00:20:29.400 Living there for about four or five months.
00:20:32.920 It's like some crazy shit going down there, man.
00:20:35.740 Like what?
00:20:36.160 What's the craziest thing you've seen?
00:20:37.260 People get stabbed.
00:20:38.260 Someone's shitting themselves.
00:20:40.200 Someone's throwing shit at each other.
00:20:42.600 Like, you name it.
00:20:43.980 I've seen it all.
00:20:45.180 You like the craziness?
00:20:46.320 Oh, yeah.
00:20:46.820 I'm addicted to danger.
00:20:48.500 I don't know why.
00:20:49.780 It's like the more ghetto of places, the more home I feel.
00:20:52.500 I don't know why.
00:20:53.280 It's just like I communicate with everybody so I can understand the struggle, this and that.
00:20:59.160 What's the most dangerous thing you've done?
00:21:00.240 fucking
00:21:02.300 climbing a building
00:21:03.940 and fucking
00:21:05.360 just like
00:21:06.040 smoking fucking
00:21:07.060 fat ass blunt
00:21:07.860 like fucking
00:21:11.520 just chilling
00:21:12.100 and hanging up
00:21:12.740 yeah
00:21:14.400 one sec
00:21:15.600 yep I'm going back on
00:21:16.760 I ain't fucking
00:21:17.480 gonna be no dumbass
00:21:18.600 fucking fool
00:21:19.160 so shit
00:21:19.820 be safe out there
00:21:21.560 huh
00:21:22.100 nice to meet you man
00:21:24.340 nice to meet you
00:21:25.140 I watched this shit
00:21:25.860 a long time
00:21:26.380 kick and everything
00:21:27.160 the whole ranch
00:21:29.120 and everything
00:21:29.520 the fucking
00:21:30.000 What's the thing?
00:21:31.280 The Two Fit Podcast?
00:21:33.560 That shit was funny as shit.
00:21:35.580 I was dying.
00:21:37.080 I don't know how you watch it.
00:21:37.860 You don't have a phone.
00:21:39.100 A while ago.
00:21:39.900 Because I was isolated for four years in the house.
00:21:43.760 No sunlight, nothing.
00:21:44.980 No sunlight.
00:21:45.580 Nothing.
00:21:46.020 I didn't leave.
00:21:46.380 You had no sunlight for four years.
00:21:47.600 Yes.
00:21:48.160 And I'm still alive.
00:21:49.840 You're a freak of nature.
00:21:51.280 In a good way.
00:21:52.120 In a good way.
00:21:52.600 I think like the cockroaches
00:21:54.320 I'll survive a nuclear holocaust.
00:21:55.720 Oh, hell no.
00:21:56.980 Okay.
00:21:57.280 i used to be republican and i used to be straight now i it's pretty big now i am very gay and very
00:22:07.160 not republican yeah how did you come to that conclusion uh went to school at brown
00:22:11.720 yeah what was it at brown it's a funny name for a school to become gay at you found out you were
00:22:19.160 Gaia Brown. It's oh god oh god um yeah very queer friendly school was just introduced to a lot of
00:22:29.980 ideas I was not exposed to in high school. If you had to write a scene of your movie you know of
00:22:35.200 your life movie what was the scene that like was it the switch that flipped? I came from like a
00:22:40.880 refugee house in New Mexico um there was yeah like I didn't really meet too many people outside
00:22:48.660 of my small little viet community and then i went to brown and i met like oh my god there's like
00:22:53.380 black people jewish people international people people with like just like just people from all
00:23:00.180 over the world different walks of life and i was like oh the world is just a lot bigger than my own
00:23:05.160 than my little bubble the idea that new york city was a place where um you're gonna make it in new
00:23:12.080 york city i believe new york city makes you moved here and realized that yeah it totally like i came
00:23:17.320 here like i'm gonna be the shit and like i'm gonna be the number one and everyone's gonna care about
00:23:21.640 me and like no one really cares about anyone we're all trying our best to figure out how to make it
00:23:26.500 through the world i don't know every word to say i say the wrong thing someone hates it um i try to
00:23:31.740 make it there's 6 000 other people going for the same application as you and i think what i've
00:23:35.980 learned is that new york city has so many wonderful opportunities for you right where you are wherever
00:23:39.860 you are in life and it's sort of your job to just like take that as a blessing and to uh honor it
00:23:46.240 and and and hone it yeah what did you expect before you came here that you were gonna take
00:23:51.920 it over it was everyone thinks they're just gonna take every that everything's just gonna be given
00:23:55.040 to them or that they're gonna be the first one on the list there's competition for a reason and
00:23:59.120 there's i don't think it's a bad thing and i think um i think people become very jaded because they're
00:24:04.880 not succeeding and i've been through i've been through loss of job loss of home it hasn't stopped
00:24:12.560 me honestly it's just really kind of grounded me as a new yorker and just made me love like
00:24:18.640 the the hustle sure but like the the the life of a new yorker sometimes there's struggle sometimes
00:24:24.620 there's wins i feel like i i kind of matured a bit when i was able to lose things and just
00:24:30.940 gain a sense of understanding about um new york city has so much for you where you are
00:24:37.280 and you don't have to always climb there's so much there's so much even when there's little
00:24:42.840 it sounds like you've been humbled in a good way what was there what was that character development
00:24:48.380 scene if you had to write it homelessness yeah um people have such a such a stigma about that
00:24:57.040 and i understand why from uh from not being homeless in my life to being homeless in my life
00:25:04.160 I can understand the stigma, where it comes from.
00:25:06.860 But what I think I've learned is when you watch so many people leave you behind
00:25:12.280 and forget about who you are and don't want to communicate with you
00:25:15.080 because you're experiencing this hardship,
00:25:17.300 you're able to then recognize...
00:25:20.700 Because you see people going through worse.
00:25:22.180 You see people on high struggle on drugs.
00:25:24.660 Being homeless isn't the same as being hopeless.
00:25:26.840 And so some of these people on the streets that are going through homelessness,
00:25:31.100 they're not just homeless, they're hopeless.
00:25:32.940 And you're not that.
00:25:33.780 And so you witnessed that, and you were humbled, and you were able to, I don't know, be mature about, like, okay, this is part of my struggle.
00:25:41.260 I mean, look at all my favorite artists, you know, Viola Davis.
00:25:45.520 Look at, what's his name? Tyler Perry.
00:25:49.160 Like, homelessness is part of their story.
00:25:51.680 And I think it's often talked about how great and fantastic they are.
00:25:57.840 But we're not talking about, like, the climb to get there.
00:26:01.740 It's part of the story. It's part of a New Yorker story.
00:26:03.780 I was able to gain this understanding from losing it all.
00:26:11.160 I think I gained it all from that.
00:26:13.080 You seem happy that you had to deal with that.
00:26:14.940 It's a good thing.
00:26:15.640 Yeah, I don't live in this privileged mindset of,
00:26:19.180 look at me, I'm a king of the world,
00:26:21.760 and every single little thing that happens to me
00:26:24.380 is the worst thing that can happen to me,
00:26:25.860 and woe is me, and my boyfriend broke up with me.
00:26:28.060 It's just ridiculous the way that people live.
00:26:30.120 I don't live this way.
00:26:30.980 I genuinely want to take my time to care about other people.
00:26:34.340 When I see other people in pain, it hurts because I've been through pain and I understand what that's like.
00:26:39.980 But the worst thing to witness is someone being hopeless.
00:26:42.540 And honestly, I had to fight through the homelessness and joblessness to find hope.
00:26:48.040 And through that, I found so much strength and so much power.
00:26:50.900 And I wish people would understand that if you lose something, it is for your betterment.
00:26:54.780 If you are able to hold faith and be strong through it, this is a beautiful blessing of life.
00:27:02.180 You're right, completely.
00:27:03.660 I think deciding not to be shy, even though I still am shy in some ways.
00:27:09.780 When I went to college, I actually went right here.
00:27:13.680 When I first got there, you know, everybody was, you know, going up to everyone and saying hello and everything.
00:27:21.820 So that kind of made it easy.
00:27:23.060 but when i didn't have that crutch i was just like yo being shy is gonna get me absolutely nothing
00:27:31.160 so i just decided to like i don't know i'm extroverted to fierce it and do like a
00:27:37.000 alter ego kind of thing do you think anyone's actually introverted or are they just shy
00:27:41.820 um i think i think that there could be some people who are introverted um but i i wrote you know what
00:27:51.660 And this is super weird, but, like, you know how most people don't have memories
00:27:56.660 until they're, like, three or five years old or whatever?
00:28:00.540 I remember the day I became shy.
00:28:04.000 I was two years old.
00:28:05.460 And I was at church.
00:28:06.800 I went up to this lady, and I was like, hi, you know?
00:28:10.000 And she laughed.
00:28:12.080 And I thought she was probably laughing, like, aw, I'm so cute, right?
00:28:15.480 She was humiliating you.
00:28:16.520 Yeah, I thought she was laughing at me.
00:28:18.260 And I remember, like, hiding behind my mother's leg, and then I became shy that day.
00:28:26.200 And I was, like, painfully, painfully, painfully shy for the remainder of my childhood.
00:28:32.240 How did you realize that, that that was what made you shy?
00:28:34.980 Because I remembered it. It was, like, a traumatic event.
00:28:38.440 So while you were shy, you remembered that being the reason?
00:28:41.820 I don't know, but I was told I was a really, like, bubbly baby, would go to anyone, always smiling.
00:28:48.260 And then I remember that day becoming shy, like just weird stuff.
00:28:55.100 Like my mom would ask me to like in a restaurant, go ask the waitress for some napkins or whatever.
00:29:00.560 And I'd be like, you know, like just crazy shy.
00:29:05.560 So there were a few different levels of me like emerging from it.
00:29:11.160 One was in eighth grade, one was in 11th grade, and then one was in college.
00:29:16.840 how would you advise people get out of their shyness the way you did um just know that you
00:29:24.940 there's no easy way to do it you know like you're gonna be nervous to do something you haven't ever
00:29:31.940 done before but um i think also because i'm an only child i have to like go out and and get
00:29:41.320 There's no already group of people waiting to, like, you know,
00:29:46.980 I have to, like, break into somebody else's club or clique or whatever all the time, you know?
00:29:53.960 So I think just, like I said, I just decided to, like, I'm going to just form an alter ego
00:30:01.920 or go into a different part of my mind or something.
00:30:05.060 What was your biggest change of mind in life?
00:30:08.260 Biggest change of mind.
00:30:09.760 What do you mean in what sense?
00:30:11.180 like with work or with life or some people said like i found out i was gay some people said i
00:30:16.800 realized i was depressed some people said i gave up drugs you know there was a change of mind some
00:30:21.000 people said i used to be republican you know something that drastically change your mind
00:30:24.380 that drastically changed your life forever what was that i realized that i mean i love new zealand
00:30:30.380 but i realized that there's a lot more to life than just a small country um and that i realized
00:30:36.020 is that there are so many more cultures and communities
00:30:39.000 and people out in the big world that is worth getting to know.
00:30:44.160 And so I just wanted to get out and experience life
00:30:47.180 and sort of see what's out there
00:30:48.440 instead of staying confined into a small country or a small community
00:30:52.940 and sort of make the most of what life is and what we get given.
00:30:57.340 And living on the Lord of the Rings set forever.
00:30:59.420 Exactly. I know.
00:31:00.700 I was like, I've got to go experience the big world.
00:31:03.120 What was the change? What made you realize that?
00:31:06.020 I mean, I was very fortunate.
00:31:07.380 My mom kind of got us out and traveling.
00:31:10.100 She was a travel agent, so she kind of got us out and exploring,
00:31:13.360 and I sort of realized, I was like, you know what,
00:31:15.020 this is a life that I want to live, and my work involves that.
00:31:18.420 I work on super yachts, so I kind of have this extravagant life
00:31:21.980 of being able to travel overseas and meet incredible people,
00:31:25.740 and it sort of gets me out, and it's really, really cool.
00:31:27.520 What is one experience that you've had or one story that you could share
00:31:31.380 that other people have not experienced?
00:31:33.380 I guess with working on super yachts I've seen what that one percent live I've seen how they live
00:31:39.540 and all I can say is having the wealth doesn't actually give you what you think it could give
00:31:46.200 you I mean it gives you some form of experiences but it doesn't give you the happiness that I feel
00:31:52.240 like some people crave they think once I get a million dollars or once I get once I've made it
00:31:58.240 and I get that first million, like, I will have the rest of my life set.
00:32:02.460 I feel like a lot of people, once they get that, they just kind of keep chasing
00:32:06.180 and they never actually find that true happiness.
00:32:09.140 And I think once you find happiness in yourself
00:32:12.960 and find happiness in the smaller things in life,
00:32:16.020 you really get to make the most of, or you really get to start living your life.
00:32:20.200 Don't try to chase the millions because it doesn't actually give you
00:32:24.660 what you may think it might give you.
00:32:26.320 you've seen some unhappy rich people very very unhappy rich people yeah so you go in somewhere
00:32:32.000 special a wine bar i like your scarf thank you is it a date no who are you going with
00:32:39.680 them johns okay third reeling nope he's gay okay what's your what was your biggest change of mind
00:32:47.900 in life my biggest change of mind maybe just that the only way i can be happy is to be sober
00:32:54.280 it's kind of what i'm dealing with right now so going to a wine bar from other things
00:32:59.420 but i i would eventually like to but i've never struggled with alcohol so
00:33:03.980 yeah how did you realize that it's difficult to change i feel like just once it gets to that
00:33:11.140 point like once you realize like you can't stop despite like negative consequences it kind of
00:33:15.580 just like like i don't know i just i was at rock bottom i was really depressed um
00:33:23.560 like never had thoughts like that before and it was just like okay like i am no longer myself
00:33:31.780 like i kind of lost myself ever since i started using substances and yeah i think it's just like
00:33:38.840 in order for me to like truly be myself and like find myself i need to be sober well you seem like
00:33:43.600 you're in a happier place now yeah i mean i i just hit rock bottom recently so you can only go up
00:33:50.120 Okay.
00:33:50.560 Are you grateful for learning those lessons?
00:33:53.060 Do you think that you?
00:33:54.760 Yeah.
00:33:55.380 I mean, there's a lot of people in my family that struggle with addiction.
00:33:58.020 So, like, I'm glad I'm learning it this young because I do think it could get a lot worse.
00:34:05.800 But, yeah.
00:34:08.160 What advice would you give to people who are struggling with this?
00:34:11.840 Get treatment.
00:34:13.080 Go on medical leave if you need to from work.
00:34:16.340 Tell people.
00:34:17.740 Don't keep it a secret.
00:34:19.260 Um, yeah, just, like, put yourself first before a job, before anything, before a relationship.
00:34:26.180 Work on your mental health.
00:34:27.500 What was your biggest change of mind in life?
00:34:30.220 My biggest change of mind?
00:34:32.060 Um, well, since you're asking, I think that you have to decide to be happy.
00:34:38.420 I feel like sometimes you feel like, oh, you know, it's something like that, right?
00:34:41.740 I feel like sometimes you feel like, oh, you're just supposed to, like, happiness is supposed to come.
00:34:46.260 But I think you have to decide to be happy.
00:34:47.900 Like, you can't just think that, like, oh, I'm going to wake up happy.
00:34:52.400 You have to decide, okay, this is what I'm going through right now.
00:34:54.840 This is what I'm experiencing.
00:34:56.040 And you have different moments where you're like, okay, I'm happy because of this.
00:34:59.560 I'm happy because of that.
00:35:00.340 You have to make the effort to actually be happy.
00:35:02.800 Okay.
00:35:03.260 Yeah.
00:35:03.760 When did you realize that, and what was the switch that flipped?
00:35:07.360 I don't want to get so morbid.
00:35:08.700 My mom had breast cancer, and this was back in, like, 2019, 2018.
00:35:13.240 She had breast cancer, and I was just like, dang.
00:35:16.420 Like, we're going to chemo.
00:35:17.900 I'm so sad.
00:35:18.980 But she was like, no, we have science.
00:35:21.220 We have something that can figure it out.
00:35:22.520 Let's think positive.
00:35:23.720 And I was like, you know what, for the fact that you're the one that's actually going through this,
00:35:26.720 you're experiencing this, and you're deciding to be happy, let me also decide to be happy.
00:35:31.800 So, yeah.
00:35:32.480 Did she survive?
00:35:33.240 Oh, yeah, she did.
00:35:33.880 She got a mastectomy.
00:35:34.940 Yeah, exactly.
00:35:35.860 She decided to be happy.
00:35:37.120 And I think, like, a lot of people are like, oh, when you're going through that process,
00:35:40.140 if you're positive about it, you're, even though it's, like, it's whatever is going to happen.
00:35:44.960 But if you're positive about it, you'll have a better outcome.
00:35:47.460 yeah so she had a good outcome and it's i have her to this very day so i'm just happy about that
00:35:53.200 i think that goes with everything in life it's always better to remove any negative thoughts
00:35:58.580 in every situation what advice would you have for people in their 20s because you're saying
00:36:02.540 you had that realization in your 40s a little off a little off to be don't fucking waste your youth
00:36:08.740 and promise on on drugs and alcohol because it's just going to slow you down you know even if you
00:36:15.660 don't die you know it's a waste of time get on with it get on with what you really really want
00:36:21.920 to do because you can make a lot of progress fast when you still got that sparkle and people in
00:36:27.380 their 20s they got that shine still you know they got youth and beauty and and promise don't waste
00:36:35.120 it get on with it you know see where it takes you you'll be you'll be thrilled you'll be thrilled
00:36:41.180 do you think it's a balance or should it be sobriety no it's like a balance just like you
00:36:45.320 know don't give it more than it's due you know like because it is mostly a waste of time it's
00:36:51.680 fun it's it's a lot of fun it's a lot of fun i mean but don't waste your time you know having
00:36:58.020 fun a waste of time no but i mean it's not going to get you anywhere you know there's a lot more
00:37:03.100 exciting things you can be doing and uh i mean i threw my youth away with both hands just like
00:37:07.720 everyone else you know but like i wish i had just just gotten to it a little faster you know like i
00:37:15.520 look at you here you are doing your thing you got a cameraman you got an organization you got like a
00:37:20.640 guy who gets new victims and he's good and like you know you have some organization going i didn't
00:37:27.400 have no organization going tell me your name again i forgot sneeko tell me sneeko sneeko what's your
00:37:35.280 Jim Jim Jim thanks so much for coming thanks for and good luck you have a good
00:37:39.540 dinner you're going someplace man this is Sneeko Sneeko New York City West 4th
00:37:45.720 Street where everything's happening you know why I'm here cuz Sneeko's here the
00:37:51.520 full three-hour version of this podcast is available on patreon I finally
00:37:55.040 reopened it and I'm also releasing the kind of quality podcast with Cass again
00:37:59.160 the first episode is up on there along with all my editing tutorials and years
00:38:03.640 of content finally re-released.