SNEAKO - July 17, 2025CRUTCHES
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
151.21387
Summary
In the 7th grade, I went to school with crutches for a month. Crutches were the perfect excuse to limp into school 15 minutes late and be bullied for being a try hard kid. Today, it's near impossible to go back after seeing how automatic kindness comes to the guy in crutch.
Transcript
00:00:04.000
I really hate how much we have to pretend we know what we're doing
00:00:10.000
In the 7th grade I went to school with crutches for a month
00:00:18.000
Maybe I thought limping would make me more interesting
00:00:24.000
Maybe I was just bored of getting around normally
00:00:26.000
Crutches were a good reason to stop thinking about anything except walking
00:00:36.000
A once in a year event where people blocked traffic to take a photo of the sun setting between avenues
00:00:48.000
The clouds blocked most of it but people waited too many hours so they pretended to love it
00:00:56.000
A thousand cameramen too distracted to notice how they were more interesting than their subject
00:01:05.000
This is me after crashing a bike on the west side highway
00:01:10.000
I like those few moments of sympathy when women pretend to care about your pain
00:01:14.000
And how as long as you're not dead men will laugh at it
00:01:17.000
Luckily no one ever discovered my secret about those crutches of lies
00:01:26.000
There was nothing scarier than getting bullied by 12 year olds for being a try hard
00:01:30.000
At the time I told myself crutches were the perfect excuse to limp into school 15 minutes late
00:01:39.000
Looking back crutches were the best social cover I could find
00:01:48.000
The guilt left me when I learned what a push up bra was
00:01:51.000
When I discovered the TV show the funny kid stole his personality from
00:01:56.000
What's the difference between their crutches and mine?
00:01:59.000
It's near impossible to go back after seeing how automatic kindness comes to the guy in crutches
00:02:05.000
Every door is held open and every excuse is granted
00:02:13.000
How is anyone going to like me without these two metal sticks?
00:02:20.000
But nothing compared to the feeling of being looked directly in the eye