SNEAKO - D’Angelo Wallace is Back and Mentally Healthy!

00:00:00.000 I want to see what D'Angelo Wallace is up to. Things got pretty bad.

00:00:04.420 Okay, so the video you're about to watch is not edited at all. Now, it's not a waste of time

00:00:10.620 either. I took a mental health break. I was depressed and anxious. I'm not here to just

00:00:15.320 rant forever. I do have a goal. I definitely have something to share with you. But it was

00:00:21.260 kind of important, at least for this specific video, that it was the very first one I made

00:00:26.040 that was completely unaltered. And you'll find out why in a second here. Now, I have

00:00:30.240 this gold play button that I got from YouTube. I'm covering the address, obviously. And I

00:00:39.540 just keep seeing it every time I walk past here thinking about the fact that it's now

00:00:43.680 why you look like 2014 black and yellow Wiz Khalifa. I've been nine months, I think, without a video.

00:00:49.840 And why not talk about it? I have good news, I guess. That was really heavy. I have good news

00:00:58.760 and I have bad news. So I guess I'll start with the good news. The good news is I have plans

00:01:05.880 of new content. Now, this is very tentative. This is not like I'm coming back with 12 videos

00:01:13.520 every hour. It's just I have goals. I have aspirations.

00:01:17.740 Chad, you bored already? Should we skip?

00:01:20.240 I have the objective of uploading more content this year. And then the bad news, I guess,

00:01:26.980 would be the reason why there hasn't been any content for the past nine months. So to put

00:01:32.380 it simply, I've just... My anxiety peaked. There's no special way for me to put this.

00:01:39.720 My anxiety!

00:01:40.920 I have been spending the last few months of my life, like three months straight, just

00:01:47.340 trying to think of some way to like word it or maybe something that I could I could use

00:01:53.800 as a reason or something that could make it seem less pathetic than it sort of makes me feel.

00:02:00.740 But the truth is, there's nothing. I have nothing. I have no big story. Nothing actually really

00:02:11.660 happened to me.

00:02:12.660 So why are you making this video?

00:02:14.240 I just... I wasn't able to do my job because my anxiety got really, really bad. Now, I'm going

00:02:25.740 to get into that in a second. But first, I want to say, I've specifically, or I should say, I've

00:02:30.740 deliberately not gotten into detail about my mental health problem.

00:02:34.740 Even though I've been on the internet for years at this point, years, sometimes I talk

00:02:41.440 about it. It's not like it's a secret that I deal with these things, but I feel like there's

00:02:46.740 basically two versions of myself, sort of, that I've been managing long before I ever did

00:02:55.400 YouTube. And let me know if this is like, you know, this rings new bells, maybe you've

00:03:00.520 dealt with this too. I'm not going to say maybe. I am positive that a

00:03:04.540 significant portion of the people watching this can relate to what I'm about to say.

00:03:08.900 So the one version of myself is the one that I put forward.

00:03:13.040 Skip or not chat, bro. Like what else are you going to talk? There's 23 mil. Okay.

00:03:16.540 We're not YouTube. It's not the one you're watching right now, actually, even though I'm

00:03:22.140 very similar usually, but it's the one in every other video that's on my channel where things

00:03:27.560 are edited, things are snappy. I have a point.

00:03:30.720 Isn't a crazy chat that you can get of how many views it have? 1.2 mil. You can get 1.2

00:03:37.120 mil off of my anxiety and on my mental health and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. You

00:03:42.920 don't have to say nothing funny. You literally don't have to say anything. Nothing happened.

00:03:47.160 Just disappeared. I'm anxious. I'm anxious. And you get a million. And then everyone in the

00:03:51.760 comments, oh my God, I'm glad. As someone who's also suffered from being sad, I'm glad that

00:03:57.160 you said something sad so we can be sad together.

00:04:01.560 I have a reason. You know, I have, I have the everything. Everything is to get my face is

00:04:07.440 shaved. I forgot to mention that. Yeah, I know. I didn't shave my face. I'm just, I'm not there

00:04:12.440 right now. So much shaven. It's just like an update. It's like zoom calling your cousin

00:04:16.100 after not talking to me. But typically I am so together. I thought YouTube was supposed to

00:04:20.060 be fun, man. This shit used to be fun and saucy. You could just get on, turn it. Hey guys, welcome 1.00

00:04:26.060 back to me being sad. I know I really haven't been sad for sad, but sad and mental health and

00:04:32.700 my feelings and your feelings and together we can have feelings. So let's sit unedited and

00:04:39.380 talk about our feelings.

00:04:41.460 I have a schedule. I have a plan. I have talking points. I have an outline. I have, you know,

00:04:46.860 the editing software. And so I've been pretty comfortable only putting that part of myself

00:04:54.220 forward because I feel comfortable in myself. It's the only one sometimes I feel like I'm

00:05:00.520 allowed to show if that makes sense. Because before YouTube was even a thing, I always had

00:05:06.140 that part of me. The part of me that gets up every morning, brushes his teeth. Like the

00:05:12.400 things I brush my teeth to D'Angelo while it's home. Let me keep listening across my arms.

00:05:17.080 Really simple. Showers, you know, gets his hair taken care of. I also have hair. And I have to

00:05:23.940 have that part of me. It's sort of like a shell around the other part of me that I try really,

00:05:31.380 really, really, really, really hard not to let anybody really see or deal with. And so I'm not

00:05:36.760 literally watching this to be mean. It's just, I'd want to show you how it's predictable. You don't

00:05:41.140 post for your, so my mental health, what is he going to say? YouTube is supposed to be

00:05:45.260 entertainment. It's got 1.2 million fucking views. What the fuck is entertaining about this? 0.99

00:05:50.520 YouTube used to be funny. We're supposed to be like entertainers. Entertain me at least, 0.99

00:05:55.740 you know, is YouTube not supposed to be entertainment? What the fuck else is this? 0.97

00:05:59.280 A Zoom call for 1.2 mil? I'm not trying to watch this to be mean. Okay. Let me not be mean. Let's 0.98

00:06:04.160 watch. So I guess that's part A. Part B or the other part of me is like, and I guess I can give a

00:06:11.460 trigger warning for extreme like mental health discussions here. Trigger warning for mental

00:06:15.960 health issues? But to be quite honest with you. Chad, what do you think he thinks about the

00:06:22.800 government? We just fucking finished that debate. You think he got three shots in his arm? I think 0.98

00:06:26.400 he did too. You think he votes? I think he votes. It's the same thing. They got that in common.

00:06:32.700 Part of me just wants to die sometimes. All the time. So just stop wanting to do it. It's really

00:06:43.140 that simple. The one thing you have control over is your thoughts. So just stop thinking about that

00:06:48.380 shit. Instead, nowadays, the social media will go, I'm sad. And then other people will be like, 1.00

00:06:53.100 I'm also sad. We shouldn't encourage this. This should not be encouraged. Get over it.

00:06:58.920 It's like, I haven't found a way around it. Oh, no. Oh, God. I search for ways around it. I do

00:07:14.000 everything I'm supposed to do. Like, you know, therapy and taking care of myself and all of that

00:07:20.240 stuff. Oh, no. But the truth is, I have really severe anxiety and depression. Oh, yeah. And

00:07:28.960 it often leads to suicidal ideation. Oh, no. Yeah. Maybe you stop thinking about that shit,

00:07:38.180 right? Look, Chad, I don't want to belittle mental. I know like people have some problems, 1.00

00:07:42.260 but like it do lives in the first world. You know, you got a lot of subscribers. You make a lot of

00:07:45.780 money. Your life's easy comparatively. He's looking for attention, right? I mean, it is what

00:07:50.980 it is. You're getting attention and stuff like that for being sad. You have an easy life. You

00:07:55.400 don't have a job. You got millions of followers. You make money from fucking making videos. Your

00:08:00.900 life is so fucking easy compared to third world countries. Dead ass. Even in the first world 1.00

00:08:05.680 country, you're at the top, man. Top 0.10% of people. You made it out. You don't need to work

00:08:11.160 anymore. You got to talk for a living. And you still... At some point, like, at what point

00:08:20.180 is it okay to just tell people, yo, get over it? Get over it. Right? Right? Because therapy's

00:08:28.280 not helping, clearly. Therapy's not helping. You still, you're treating this fucking YouTube

00:08:33.480 video like therapy. Things got really bad. There's too much validation for this shit. That's 1.00

00:08:40.720 what I think is unhealthy. Because everyone in the fucking comment section is like, I'm 0.99

00:08:44.280 so glad you opened up about it. We got to stop, like, normalizing this shit. Everybody 1.00

00:08:53.060 has self-deletion thoughts. I do. And then I stop thinking about it. Because I don't want

00:09:00.740 to do it. Because I need to... I have people that I need to take care of. I'd rather live

00:09:07.700 life. You only got one fucking life. Stop thinking about it. There's a correlation to 1.00

00:09:13.440 social media and how many people are depressed but sad. It's tricky because I've never done

00:09:23.540 anything. You know? I've never actually, like, hurt myself or attempted anything like that.

00:09:31.940 Um... And I won't. And that's part of the reason it's so tricky for me.

00:09:37.680 Why are you making... Why did you put this video out? This is not therapy. This is not

00:09:42.520 a Zoom call with your therapist. YouTube is supposed to be entertainment. Deadass. Like,

00:09:46.700 even if I'm being a dickhead right now, I don't want to, like, belittle his mental health. 0.92

00:09:51.240 But YouTube's supposed to be funny. It's supposed to be entertainment. You're supposed to spread... 0.92

00:09:54.420 Like, you have people watching. You got 1.2 million people watching you cry. Why did you

00:09:59.460 put that out? Why is that a normal thing for people to put this out on the internet now?

00:10:03.340 This is encouraged. This is wrong. You should not do this. You got a lot of people watching

00:10:07.740 it. You think it's helping other people? All it is is validating other people's sadness,

00:10:12.080 bro. But we love you. This video is so real. Blah!

00:10:20.460 Chad, am I getting... Am I being a dickhead? Swear to God. I didn't know he was going to cry 0.99

00:10:24.360 in this bitch. I thought he was just going to talk about where he's been at. 1.00

00:10:26.360 Because I don't feel really like I'm allowed to say that I have this problem. I've never

00:10:40.220 tried to end my life or hurt myself in any way. And I'm aware that I'm not going to.

00:10:46.600 Okay, why are you talking about it right now?

00:10:48.100 I feel crazy for that percentage of me that always feels like I just don't want to do

00:10:55.280 this anymore. Why would you put this video out? What's the point of making this video?

00:11:05.400 So if I'm being a dickhead, why the fuck did you make this video? Huh? So 1.2 million people, 0.99

00:11:11.320 I hope you feel better.

00:11:18.100 I know where it stems from. Like, I've done a lot of therapy, y'all. It's just not like...

00:11:32.280 STOP! This is why I say therapy's a scam, because it validates...

00:11:36.660 It's clearly not working! Clearly therapy's not fucking working, Chad! You see? I've done a lot of 0.99

00:11:47.000 therapy! You look the same! This looks like therapy right now! It doesn't work!

00:11:54.600 It's a surprise. It's not like I'm broken or anything like that. And I have ways of mitigating

00:12:00.280 this. And I feel like the two parts of me, there's percentages, right? Sometimes if I try really hard

00:12:07.880 to get out of bed in the morning and brush my teeth... I try really hard to get out of bed? Come on!

00:12:13.800 Come on! At some point, someone's gotta say, just get the fuck up out of bed, pussy! 1.00

00:12:19.400 It's... That's it! 1.00

00:12:21.400 You can't beat that thought in your head, wake up, get out of bed!

00:12:25.400 That's all you have to do!

00:12:27.400 I can't move!

00:12:33.400 Ugh! Pathetic! Pathetic! 1.00

00:12:37.400 You can't get to do this in Haiti! You can't! 1.00

00:12:45.000 ...and look presentable and surround myself with positivity and all that stuff. I can

00:12:49.000 get the part A of me to be like 90 through 99%. So sometimes I'm perfectly fine 99% of the time.

00:13:01.000 Um, there's just that one person of me that...

00:13:04.600 What is really making you that sad? Maybe I'm like belittling his mental...

00:13:08.600 What's really that hard in your life? Tell me! Say it! What is it? Is it just your own brain?

00:13:15.880 It's a chemical imbalance. You know, it's your thoughts.

00:13:20.360 Mean stuff on the internet makes me not want to get out of bed. Get the fuck over it, bro. 0.99

00:13:26.280 Now you said he needs real male friends. Yes, because if he had male friends, I'd be like, 0.99

00:13:31.480 all right, bro, but keep... If you have a lot of pussy-ass friends, they'll be like, 1.00

00:13:35.000 whoa, well, how don't we go talk about it and discuss it? But when you live with other strong 0.99

00:13:39.480 people around you, they're gonna, whoa, get out of bed. Get the fuck up out of bed. What are you 0.83

00:13:44.040 doing? Get the fuck up! Get the fuck up! There's a correlation between being... and how fruity you are. 1.00

00:13:52.440 That ass, bro. Still deals with like intense anxiety and depression and all that stuff, but 1.00

00:14:01.720 it's kind of easy to ignore that when I'm doing really well. But then sometimes it just switches.

00:14:11.160 Sometimes, steadily, that part B, that just part of me that can't do this, it just gets bigger and

00:14:17.640 bigger and bigger and bigger. And so what happened around last year when I stopped uploading content

00:14:24.360 was... In the last video, I don't know if you remember, I made a video roasting it, was him

00:14:29.000 shaming people and influencers for not wearing masks and going to... I can't believe you're going to a

00:14:34.520 party in the middle of the pandemic! Calling people out and snitching on people, like, and just getting

00:14:40.680 on a moral high ground and saying everyone's a piece of shit for going to a party during the pandemic. 0.99

00:14:45.080 All right, are those people who are partying, are they making these videos? The people who make 0.99

00:14:49.480 these videos and go to therapy all the time are the same people during the pandemic who were like,

00:14:53.800 I can't believe, why would you... why, why... that's why you're depressed!

00:15:00.840 I felt like for the first time in a really long time, it was like 0, 100. Just steadily,

00:15:09.400 due to burnout and a few personal things in my life, that... That's it! That's why you're that sad!

00:15:16.040 Burnout and a few personal things in my life! Get out of bed! Get out of bed! No!

00:15:24.920 No! Armor I would sort of wear of having everything together. Maybe you should have been partying during

00:15:30.520 the pandemic instead of getting on a moral high ground! Huh? Maybe you could have went to a party,

00:15:36.440 lived your life, had some fun, and said you were being a fucking police rat! Shaming people for not 1.00

00:15:41.400 wearing masks and going, I'm better than you! I'm better than you! I'm better than you! I'm better than you!

00:15:47.320 I'm better than you! That's what you were doing! Maybe you should have gone to a party, son!

00:15:52.360 I'm taking care of myself and putting my best foot forward. Sorry, no! I don't want to belittle his

00:15:57.560 mental health! Okay, yes, yes, it's a real issue, blah, blah, blah. Some people need therapy. Mental

00:16:02.680 health is real, we get it. It was just wearing away, little by little by little by little by little by

00:16:08.200 little. And at one point, there was nothing left. Like, the circumstances surrounding me uploading

00:16:14.040 that last video on my channel were so bad. I vaguely alluded to it in the beginning of that video,

00:16:22.440 but I was literally texting people before I uploaded this, like, I can't do this. I can't

00:16:30.440 do this another day. I can't upload another video. I can't upload a YouTube video!

00:16:38.120 You remember when people had to go hunt for food? Remember when people had to work in factories?

00:16:43.000 I can't upload a YouTube video! I have burnout! Your problems are so

00:16:50.680 fucking stupid! Deadass, bro! Nah, I'm gonna start shi- Bro, you're incapable of uploading a YouTube 1.00

00:16:58.920 video? That's your problems in life? You got it so fucking easy that that's the big- I can't make

00:17:06.200 a video on YouTube? Come on! Am I being a dick? Am I being a dick or is that the fucking easiest 0.94

00:17:14.040 shit you ever heard? Because if I have to do this, and I didn't- I don't- I don't know how to explain 1.00

00:17:20.840 it. And I wasn't properly explaining it then either. It's not that I can't do that or that I didn't want

00:17:26.040 to do it. It's just- I was running literally on empty. Literally running on zero. No, you were not

00:17:35.560 literally running on zero! You're still breathing, pussy! Get the fuck up! People used to fight in wars! 1.00

00:17:41.480 Men used to have to hunt! Men had to go work and go get it and get in the factory and get oil spilled

00:17:48.680 on them and get their hands chopped off by accident and not have anybody- and you can't- I'm literally

00:17:55.000 empty and can't press record on my camera! Fuck off! Bro, I had nothing. I can't create something from 1.00

00:18:05.640 nothing, I think. And that hurts sometimes because I consider myself to be a creative person. I am

00:18:13.880 literally a creator, but even before YouTube was a thing, I would do like artwork and just-

00:18:21.240 all these things. Like, you can always find me making something, you know? That's something I

00:18:27.320 pride myself on. Hey person, someone in the chat said, what are you talking about? You've never been

00:18:30.520 to war? Yeah! My life is fucking easy! My life is so goddamn easy compared to the rest of my-

00:18:39.000 Bro, if my ancestors saw what I was doing, they'd probably call me a pussy! I'm here talking to a camera! 1.00

00:18:44.760 So if I'm incapable of pressing record on the camera or editing a video or writing a script or 1.00

00:18:50.520 filming some shit, I'm a bitch! My life is fucking easy! I know! I don't have to go to war! I don't 1.00

00:18:57.000 have to go to a mine! I'm a YouTuber! This shit is the best! I made it! This is the dream! This is

00:19:04.200 the dream job! And if you can't muster up a little energy to get up and do it, you're a fucking bitch! 1.00

00:19:10.680 It's so fun because it's just in me to create things. But the thing is, it's always caused 1.00

00:19:17.800 me problems because when I have nothing to draw from internally, my desire to create,

00:19:23.240 it just burns a hole inside of me because I can't do anything with it, if that makes sense. So,

00:19:29.960 that's what happened. It wasn't just burnout, really. Obviously, burnout was a huge part of it.

00:19:36.200 It was just the fact that, literally, I could not sustain myself. That part of me that I draw from...

00:19:43.480 Shut the fuck up! Bro, tell me, Chad, that he's not whining about fucking nothing right now. 1.00

00:19:47.960 Tell me, like, is this really valid? If this is what's making you... then mental health isn't real. 0.99

00:19:55.320 This shit is just overblown. Everyone wants to be a victim. Everyone wants to have mental health 1.00

00:19:59.880 problems. People are just lazy. No one's got any fucking balls left. 0.98

00:20:04.200 The fuck up in the morning was gone. It was just gone. So, it was pretty bad. It was pretty dire. 1.00

00:20:15.240 It was even worse than I'm making it sound now. I know I cried for like two seconds, but...

00:20:20.440 If I'm just hating, listen to him for 15 seconds. Ready? Let's go listen to him. I'm going to quietly

00:20:25.480 say, for 15 seconds, I'm not going to be a dickhead. I'm not going to complain. I'm not going to complain. 0.97

00:20:29.800 Let's just listen. Let's just listen for 15 seconds. Tell me he's not being a bitch. 1.00

00:20:33.480 There's a lot more than two seconds of crying when this was happening. And so, 0.99

00:20:38.440 my decision to take a break from YouTube, it wasn't a decision. I literally would just start

00:20:44.520 having panic attacks just thinking about trying to create things because I'm just like, I have no

00:20:52.200 content. So, what am I supposed to upload? That was 15 seconds. And of course, the anxiety part of

00:20:56.200 my brain would take that little small thought and blow it up. Okay. Oh, well, you don't have content.

00:21:02.120 Shut up. That was 15 seconds. Are these real problems? What he just said? Let's listen for 1.00

00:21:07.960 another... Okay. It's 10 minutes. I'm not going to say anything until 1030. Listen 30 seconds. Okay.

00:21:13.400 That's fair. Maybe I'm complaining. I know I'm yelling. I'm being a dickhead right now. I understand.

00:21:17.560 I get it. 30 seconds. Listen closely. And if after 30 seconds, you don't think he's being a little

00:21:26.200 fucking pussy, then I'm wrong. 1.00

00:21:27.720 ...to upload. No one's going to watch you. And that makes sense because you were never worth watching 1.00

00:21:33.480 anyway. And you have to do all these things just to get people to like you. And these aren't true

00:21:39.160 thoughts that I actually believe. But anxiety doesn't care about things that are true or make

00:21:43.960 sense. It just makes you feel the weight of the worst possible scenario, even if you're not in it.

00:21:49.720 And so that's what I was dealing with. So I would try, I would set up the camera like this and I would

00:21:55.880 try to record a video off and on for months. And I would just have like massive attacks just leaving me

00:22:04.760 on. That was 30 seconds. Did you listen close? What the fuck? What the fuck?

00:22:10.520 Did that change your mind? Like for anybody who's on, like who thinks I'm an asshole right now, 1.00

00:22:18.200 did you really listen to the words that came out of his mouth? 0.99

00:22:22.600 Am I, am I being a hater? Am I being a hater? Like I know, bro, we might've had like,

00:22:28.040 just listen to the words that he's saying. Cause this is not unique to him. This is normal

00:22:32.280 Gen Z, pussy mentality. I hear this on a regular basis. Wait till you see my new one minute podcast. 1.00

00:22:37.400 I'm carving this heavy because I heard someone exactly like him say the exact same shit. 0.99

00:22:42.520 He said that abortion is making him not want to live life anymore. A dude, 0.99

00:22:46.920 women's rights and the fact if ever we need to mobilize voters. 0.67

00:22:50.680 And he said he wanted me to push him in the train tracks. It's the same shit. 1.00

00:22:54.280 So, okay, I'm at 1035. If you 1036, let's listen until 1115. Listen carefully to the words that he's 0.99

00:23:01.720 saying. If you don't think that's some soft pussy shit and fine, he's gay. So maybe he's allowed to 1.00

00:23:07.080 be a little soft, but at some point, like maybe you just like making up problems out of nothing.

00:23:12.680 Listen carefully. If I'm being a dick. Until 1115 on the floor, literally on the floor sobbing, 0.99

00:23:19.960 just like, I can't do this. I can't do this. And the thing about anxiety for me is it's very

00:23:25.400 physical. I know it's a mental problem, but for me, I feel it. It hurts. It hurts a lot.

00:23:36.600 Especially, I don't know how to explain it. Depression does that too. For me personally,

00:23:42.200 even though nothing is physically wrong with me, I can feel what I'm supposed to be feeling. Like for

00:23:50.200 me depression isn't sadness at all. Sadness, I would sometimes be kind of happy.

00:23:57.080 What the fuck was that? 0.98

00:24:01.560 Was that some valid, do you feel bad for him? You empathize? 1.00

00:24:06.440 That shit got 1.2 million views, bro. And everyone's eating it the fuck up. 1.00

00:24:19.880 It's so easy to be a victim now, bro. It's so validating to hear someone else be so vocal

00:24:24.920 about something I've always struggled with in my life as well. Everyone is becoming a bitch, bro. 1.00

00:24:31.800 It, you should not validate this. You should get over this. 1.00

00:24:40.120 Chad, you want me to skip? You want me to skip? I kind of want to finish this video. I'm not going

00:24:43.480 to lie to you, bro. Not trying to like minimize mental health. Just listen carefully. Because this

00:24:51.960 is some regular shit in Gen Z. It's not unique to him. I've heard this shit a billion fucking times. 0.99

00:24:56.840 So have you. So is everyone in his comments. It's normal. It used to be a unique person. Like 1.00

00:25:02.680 I have a chemical imbalance. Why does every fucking fruity dude in Gen Z, every fucking 0.99

00:25:07.720 they, them, they all, they're all depressed. Trans people have the highest self-deletion rate. 1.00

00:25:16.760 Everyone's saying, skip, you see how bored you are, chat? But 1.2 million people sat there.

00:25:21.240 Oh wow, D'Angelo, are you okay? To even feel when I'm in the midst of depression. Because for me,

00:25:28.840 depression is nothing. It's nothing. I can't explain it if you've never experienced it. It's,

00:25:37.080 I just feel nothing. But what's worse is that it hurts. Depression is when you, I feel nothing and it

00:25:45.320 hurts because I can feel the hole where I'm supposed to be happy. Someone in the chat, yo,

00:25:53.000 he's dressed like a fucking therapist now. Y'all think, I made a video saying therapy was a scam 0.99

00:25:58.040 and then people, well, but you're, you're, you're, look what therapy does. This is the voice. This is

00:26:03.480 what it sounds like when you go to therapy on a regular basis. You think he's fixed? You think a

00:26:09.080 year of therapy helped at all? He just cried on camera and uploaded it. Said record. Yes. This is

00:26:16.120 the one. And, or sad or excited or energetic or relaxed that for people saying skip, I think it's

00:26:30.280 important that we finish this video. I think it's important because this is a, this is a real big

00:26:34.120 problem now. This is a big problem. Too many people are going to watch this and validate it

00:26:40.840 and be like, I'm also sad. And then this does not help anybody. Everybody who's watching this

00:26:45.800 is getting encouraged to say the same shit. I can't get out of bed. I'm incapable of making YouTube 1.00

00:26:53.400 videos. It's too hard. We can't validate this anymore. Let's finish the video. This is important.

00:26:59.800 This is genuinely important. It's like just a big void in my chest, literally just sucking in.

00:27:08.280 Oh my God. How long, how, how many minutes are you going to keep a bro? We get it. You fucking sad.

00:27:13.800 You've been talking. What else? What? Okay. We can speed it up though. We can speed it up though. 1.00

00:27:18.120 This shit is boring as hell. YouTube used to be funny. And that hurts. So that's what would happen to me. 1.00

00:27:25.240 When I try to upload videos, I would just spiral so much that it would throw off the rest of my life

00:27:30.200 and I wouldn't be able to do anything. It's just, it was bad. Okay. Damn. He's breaking my computer

00:27:35.320 with all this nonsense. Pussy breaking my computer. So the thing about like depression and anxiety for 1.00

00:27:39.720 me is like, these things don't go away, but I have mitigated them to great success at several

00:27:43.560 points throughout my life. And so it had to pass for sure. I had to get, I was out 110. I had to come down

00:27:47.720 to 100. And once it finally passed a little bit, instead of making YouTube videos, which is what I would

00:27:50.680 always do, I paid attention to the things in my life that I could do to cut down on this happening

00:27:54.760 to me in the future. Because is it my fault that I deal with these problems? Absolutely not. It's not,

00:27:58.200 but that doesn't. Yes, it is. People need to take responsibility for the fact, if you can't take

00:28:02.680 responsibility for getting out of your bed, then you have no control over your life. Take back your

00:28:07.240 power. Take back your control. There's nothing I can do, if that makes sense. Um, and so the very

00:28:12.120 first thing I had to do, y'all, I had to get it off of Twitter. Like, I know it sounds kind of funny.

00:28:14.040 Twitter had to go. Okay. Just done. Dead. Dead in the water. No. And that's exactly still like English. 1.00

00:28:18.600 That's exactly still where I am. That's still exactly where I am. And I see why I edit my videos.

00:28:21.640 Um, I posted something on Twitter today. Twitter. Twitter is what make you depressed.

00:28:26.760 Twitter is why you need therapy. Mean stuff on Twitter. Just kind of letting people know that

00:28:31.400 I was alive, that way y'all can see this video. But like, no dude, Twitter for me was not it. I just,

00:28:36.200 every time I would open it, I would get depressed. And so weirdly though, I sort of wanted that. I wanted

00:28:41.400 something to just look at and justify feeling so bad all the time. You know what I mean? I felt bad.

00:28:45.400 So I was like, let me just go look at how bad the world is and find a reason for why I feel.

00:28:48.280 Chad, this is why I'm saying you shouldn't vote. This is why I'm saying you shouldn't trust the

00:28:50.680 government. This is why I'm saying you should not believe the programming that they feed you.

00:28:53.960 You end up like this. Don't believe that shit. It's not designed to keep you happy. All that stuff. 1.00

00:29:00.440 And you know what? Before he deleted Twitter because it made him depressed, he was usually,

00:29:03.800 he was literally the face of cancel culture. Canceling everybody for not wearing a mask.

00:29:08.680 Put on a mask. Look what happens. You can't even go on Twitter anymore. Stop. Just use it for

00:29:14.120 business. Just use it for fun, for your friends, for entertainment. But don't use,

00:29:18.200 don't try to get on any moral high ground that they're feeding from you from the top.

00:29:21.640 It's all a scam. They want you to be depressed. They want you to go to therapy. They want you to

00:29:26.600 take those pills. I feel so terrible. And if there's one thing Twitter's going to do,

00:29:29.960 it's give you a reason for why the world's kind of terrible. So every single day, I would just

00:29:32.680 flood my own brain with stories of people. This sounds really dark. Dying, you know, getting like

00:29:37.080 attacked, doing terrible things to other people. And it's not even like I have to search for these

00:29:40.200 things. I could literally just scroll. I could literally just open Twitter, go to the sports app,

00:29:43.480 and see someone dying. Or like, how did these ideas connect? Because okay, I just had a debate with

00:29:48.520 Destiny. And overall, the ideas of the debate, he believes in the government,

00:29:52.440 and like with the programming, and he stopped putting on the mask when they told him to.

00:29:56.360 And I believe none of that. This is an example of somebody who believes in that shit too much. 1.00

00:30:01.240 Chet, WRL, he got all the boosters. He's not saying in this video, I know he did. He got every 1.00

00:30:06.840 single booster. He votes. He believes in the government. He's like, we should mobilize. What

00:30:11.800 do you think his stance on abortion is? He has strong opinions about pro-life and pro-choice. Why?

00:30:16.840 The programming. Look what happens. Don't believe in that shit, man. Don't.

00:30:20.280 Don't see something blowing up or see kids not surviving. And I wasn't seeking those things out

00:30:25.160 because of what was happening. This is a bot. This is what I'm talking about. This is a bot.

00:30:29.160 He's all saying shit that every fucking depressed person, I have a chemical imbalance and they all 1.00

00:30:33.320 think this. See what I'm saying? It was just completely subconscious. I was fueling my, the way 1.00

00:30:38.280 I felt without realizing it sort of, even though I was, it wasn't like completely unconscious. Let's

00:30:40.920 be honest. We all know in the back of our minds that Twitter is like kind of, but I was doing this for

00:30:44.200 such a long time that I had to let it go. I had to let it go. So it wasn't easy because I do feel like

00:30:48.040 Twitter and a lot of social media does come with a certain level of, I don't want to use the word

00:30:51.080 addiction, but I do feel, you know, it's like really nice seeing things update. I like, I like,

00:30:55.320 you know, just swipe down and then the little bar goes like that. And then you have new things to

00:30:57.400 look at. That makes my brain happy. It floods it with, I don't know what I mean. Endorphins.

00:31:00.280 That's bro. Twitter is why he went to therapy and couldn't upload for a year. That's all he said.

00:31:05.000 Twitter. Twitter. Do you hear this nonsense? WRL on my take right now. Who? W if you side with me.

00:31:11.640 L if you think I'm full of shit and I'm just a piece of shit, fucking alpha, whatever the fuck, 1.00

00:31:18.280 toxic. WRL right now. I want to see. Are those things you can correct me in the comments. So I 1.00

00:31:23.640 did feel a bit of an addictive issue there. It was not easy for me to just log out of Twitter

00:31:26.600 kind of for good. Now, obviously I still have my account because that's where a lot of people

00:31:29.800 watching me are. So I, I, I, I'm not like leaving. That'd be kind of silly, but as far as the day to

00:31:34.040 day ritual I had going to Twitter, trying to myself had to get rid of it. So that was kind of the main

00:31:37.000 step I did. The second thing I did was I evaluated my content. I evaluated the sort of things that I was

00:31:40.920 putting out on a day to day basis. And you know, I kind of like it. I actually was like,

00:31:44.200 I'm going to, I'm going to do all this soul searching and I'm going to realize that my

00:31:45.880 videos are, but no, honestly, I like my videos. I don't regret any of them. They're like all still

00:31:49.480 there. So I, um, but the one thing is, it's just, I think they were incrementally weighing on me.

00:31:53.960 So it wasn't hard to sort of make a video, but if I make a video where something terrible happens,

00:31:56.600 which I did quite often in the back of my mind, there would be an unprofessional part of me

00:31:59.560 that just feels terrible. Like I made a video about a family who had their dog put down and,

00:32:03.800 and Chad, look, most people are saying W, but if you were just here in the destiny debate,

00:32:08.040 I had a 70% of people said destiny was right. He was more articulate than me. I'll give him that.

00:32:12.840 I was yelling. I'm doing my, doing my streaming shit, but this is why I don't believe in that 0.96

00:32:19.000 shit. This is why I believe that there's a power, that there's something controlling us that wants 1.00

00:32:24.040 to take away the power from us because this dude can't get out of bed because of Twitter.

00:32:28.440 There's something wrong there. That's why I have the sense. And I can't bring any articles.

00:32:33.080 I can't state this. I can't state that for something to support this. It's just something

00:32:37.800 that I see. And 100%, bro, he got the booster. He believes in the government and he votes.

00:32:47.800 What do you think his abortion stance is? It's all connected.

00:32:50.520 I just feel terrible. Like, I don't know how to explain it. I wasn't the only one who did this,

00:32:54.200 by the way. Like when I made this video, a bunch of people also made the video about this family.

00:32:57.320 And my video wasn't about the dog, by the way. It was about this weird thing that they had done

00:32:59.880 with adoption. But in the back of my mind, I knew that like, yeah, this family totally like

00:33:03.640 got rid of their dog instead of just, you know, finding a new home for them or something like that.

00:33:07.320 And so like, it's kind of like, when I made that video, that was kind of the start of me of like,

00:33:12.280 what am I doing? Like, if somebody told me in real life about this family who had done this

00:33:15.880 sort of thing, I would kind of be like, why are you telling me this? And like, there's nothing,

00:33:19.400 there's absolutely nothing wrong with like consuming content about things that aren't wholly positive.

00:33:22.200 The world isn't wholly positive, okay? It would be nice if we could just watch like

00:33:24.920 videos of cute pets doing things all day every day. But it would be a bit of a bubble. But I was confusing

00:33:28.760 my responsibility of staying educated and informed with the fact that I thought I had to just know

00:33:32.280 everything bad all the time. You know, I thought to myself, I can't just stop paying attention to

00:33:35.320 things that are happening because that's like a really sort of privileged. And this is the

00:33:38.680 program. This is the bot mentality. There's another eight minutes in this video. He's only going to

00:33:44.600 keep saying the same shit. He's just going to keep on victimizing himself. He's going to keep 1.00

00:33:47.720 talking about his mental health. He's not going to say anything funny. He's not going to add any

00:33:51.000 values to the world. He's just going to keep validating his victim mentality. That's how predictable

00:33:56.440 these people are. And this is what I'm trying to talk to you about. This is what I'm trying to

00:34:00.120 show you. Like when I'm, yes, I can fix my demeanor and not be so and like make more articulate points

00:34:05.400 so that people think that, oh, you're so smart and stoic and you are researched well. But think

00:34:10.280 about it. There's another eight minutes left. Is he going to say anything unpredictable? Watch, listen.

00:34:16.520 It's nice to be able to just not pay attention to bad things when they're not happening to you.

00:34:18.840 So I was like, no, I have a responsibility. Everything bad that happens, I have to be there and talk

00:34:21.800 about it. And it just, it was just too much in the long run, honestly. That's the best way I can put it.

00:34:25.640 It's, I was just fatigued of bad things happening. It doesn't mean that I don't care or that I,

00:34:29.480 I think they stopped happening magically because I stopped looking at every single story.

00:34:32.280 But I do think that there is like, and it's not just me, this thing where people think they have

00:34:34.440 to know everything bad that happens all the time, or else they're like a bad person kind of,

00:34:36.680 or they're just like privileged in a way that is like wrong. But like, I just don't believe that

00:34:42.120 anymore. I fundamentally, I don't believe that you have to look at everything bad happening all the

00:34:46.840 time. For me, that was a huge. You don't have to look at everything bad happening. Is he saying

00:34:51.080 anything that you haven't heard before? Is he saying anything new,

00:34:54.040 any like huge revelations? Is he going to say anything? Is he going to say anything funny?

00:34:59.240 Is he going to say anything interesting? This is a YouTube video. 1.2 million people are watching

00:35:03.080 it. What is he going to say that you don't already know? Huge reason. Um, it was like Twitter was here

00:35:09.560 and me knowing everything horrible all the time was right there. So even though I liked my videos

00:35:12.360 that I was uploading, just the process of finding the things to talk about became so draining that I

00:35:16.040 couldn't do it anymore. Um, so there's that too. And then I guess the third main thing I did

00:35:19.640 was I sort of asked myself, what do I want? You know what I mean? What do I want out of life,

00:35:24.440 out of YouTube, out of everything? And honestly, y'all WRL chat. How many people did I,

00:35:30.680 a lot of people were saying I'm being a dickhead at the beginning.

00:35:34.040 This should open your eyes a little bit to this mentality. Hopefully I'm sure I've been saying it 0.81

00:35:38.760 since I made that video about him, put on a mask, but you're a fucking bot. Stop going on social media, 1.00

00:35:47.720 believing everything you hear. They, the systems, like all that is programming. This is proof.

00:35:53.960 When I made that video two years ago about D'Angelo Wallace, I knew this shit was going to happen. 0.98

00:35:59.960 Do you think he's going to like, I want to, I would like to call him. I'd like to talk to him, 0.97

00:36:03.560 but he won't. There's nothing unpredictable about him. I just, I just want to make videos. Like,

00:36:10.680 I know there's like a running gag of like, oh, he just, he uploads videos for money. I started the

00:36:14.280 guy by the way. I'm constantly joking about how to do this for money. Excuse me. And on the one hand,

00:36:17.080 it's kind of funny that people get mad at that because I'm like, doesn't like everyone do their

00:36:20.200 job for money. But like, you know what I mean? But the truth of the matter is, of course I'm doing

00:36:23.800 this because it pays my bills and all that stuff and money's nice to have, but I'm driven to create

00:36:28.200 things. You don't understand. I will never stop making things. I just figured out how to turn it into a

00:36:32.360 thing that worked for me, but I would never stop creating things. Even if YouTube didn't exist,

00:36:35.320 I made videos before I knew YouTube existed. Like I have a bachelor's degree, which I can never find

00:36:38.840 in mass communication. Where did I put my degree? One day I'm going to move and I'm going to leave

00:36:42.200 a pint and no one's going to believe me. But my whole entire degree is in how to create things

00:36:44.520 because it's mass communication with concentration in digital film and television production,

00:36:46.600 like behind the jokes about the money and all that stuff. Since I said that, has he said anything

00:36:50.760 unpredictable? Just this innate and burning desire to like make things that people like watching

00:36:54.120 because I like communicating with people. I feel fulfilled. There's haters watching it right now too,

00:36:57.000 because I'm going to upload this on YouTube and there's going to be people in the comment sections right now.

00:37:00.680 I can already see it because you see how it plays out. You know how it is. People are going to say,

00:37:03.800 I'm minimizing his mental health. People are saying, I'm belittling him. People are saying,

00:37:07.000 I should be more empathetic. But tell me, for the haters and for his fans who are watching this,

00:37:11.640 like in the YouTube video, there's only five minutes. Is anything unpredictable?

00:37:19.560 When people feel connected with things that I created. So that's what I want. And I sort of

00:37:22.680 realized it doesn't have to be bad things happening to people. I can kind of create anything,

00:37:25.960 you know? Now, of course, I did deal with a lot of fear because I was like, well,

00:37:28.840 the truth of the matter is negative things get more money to get more. This is word for word,

00:37:31.880 the same shit he said at therapy. He's treating this like a zoom call therapy session. 1.00

00:37:37.640 He's dressed like a therapist. You look like you still look like Ellen a year later.

00:37:41.560 Fused. They get more attention. They get more everything. And so I was like,

00:37:44.840 if I stop creating these things, then my entire business is going to fall apart. I have a business

00:37:48.200 obligation to talk about bad things. And it's not just me either. I've also paid other people.

00:37:52.520 So that's sort of where my mind was, was like, I just, I have to do this. Otherwise,

00:37:55.720 I'm going to fall apart and lose everything. My business is going to fall apart. And then

00:37:58.040 pussy, my business fell apart anyway, because of my mental health. So my business fell apart 1.00

00:38:03.320 because of my mental health. It's not my fault. Nothing's my fault. I'm a victim of mental health.

00:38:07.240 People do not take accountability for their actions anymore. When you become this much of a

00:38:10.760 bitch, nothing's your fault. This is the part where I would add a cringy zoom, 1.00

00:38:13.640 but I'm not editing video. So I can't make that sound any less sad. Um, and I sort of realized,

00:38:17.240 well, man, if there was still a possibility that this wouldn't work anyway, shouldn't I just upload

00:38:21.320 things that I actually get joy from? You know what I mean? And I don't know if that makes any sense.

00:38:25.320 So the, but that's sort of where I wound up. So the fear that I had of people not watching things,

00:38:28.040 if I didn't put some terrible thing in the title and someone else's face on thumbnail,

00:38:29.880 it's gone. You know, I, excuse me, I choose to, I can't edit that out. That's gross. I choose to

00:38:33.800 believe that people will still watch my videos, if that makes sense. Um, because I've always

00:38:37.560 marketed my videos towards people who enjoy watching them, if that makes sense. I don't need

00:38:39.960 people watching the videos who don't like me. I just need people watching the videos who like the videos.

00:38:42.520 If you watch the videos and you don't like them, you're definitely entitled to that. But

00:38:45.000 I just need to focus on finding people who will watch the things I create, if that makes sense. 1.00

00:38:48.280 You know, matter of fact, fuck your mental health. Your problems are so easy. You have an easy life. You're a famous 1.00

00:38:55.320 the easiest motherfucking job in the world and you can't do it. You're a fucking pussy. You should get 1.00

00:39:00.200 out of bed. You should be stronger than those. I'm set. Get the fuck over it. This is the perfect

00:39:05.480 example of somebody who needs to get the fuck up over it. You're no, I'm not. No, fuck that. 0.89

00:39:13.720 Too many people have mental health problems. This is some pussy ass shit, bro. 1.00

00:39:17.800 It's not quite as dire as I was making it out to be. A lot of that was just anxiety sort of clouding my brain. 1.00

00:39:20.840 But, um, so yeah, those are the three main things I got off of Twitter. I stopped trying to know

00:39:23.640 everything bad happening all the time. And I asked myself, what do I actually want to do?

00:39:26.760 What kind of content do I actually want to create? Does that make sense?

00:39:28.840 And so it took a really long time for me to get answers to those things, but

00:39:30.920 Matter of fact, you're right. Someone in chat said, what is the point of this video?

00:39:33.160 It's not. It's just venting. This is a therapy session online.

00:39:36.280 1.2 million people saw a therapy session with the camera. Therapy is not helping these people,

00:39:43.080 bro. It makes it worse. It validates your problems. That's why he's just saying a whole bunch of nothing.

00:39:48.040 I do have them now, thankfully. I do definitely know where I want to go with things. I definitely

00:39:54.280 see a path to success instead of just, like, the darkness that I just feel like every time I think

00:39:57.400 about YouTube. And, um, that's sort of where I am. That's sort of where I am now. It's...

00:40:01.320 All facts go cap on God for real, for real.

00:40:02.680 Much better place than I was nine months ago. I'm happy to report. And, you know, I did have to kind

00:40:06.360 of go into lockdown there. Like, this entire time I've been gone. I know on, um, like, you may have seen,

00:40:10.760 like, repost some stuff on Snapchat and Facebook and all that stuff, but I have literally not created anything.

00:40:15.320 I haven't been able to make anything until today. This is... I unironically have lost track of

00:40:18.840 filming, so I just set this camera up and tried to make a video. But you know what? If I think

00:40:20.680 about this any harder, I'm not going to upload this one. So, I don't know, dude. I hope this

00:40:22.920 made sense. It didn't need to make sense, though. I really hope you got something out of it.

00:40:25.640 Because I just... That's... If I think about this too hard, I'm not going to be able to upload this

00:40:30.040 video. It's not mental health problems. It's just people not being able to master their own

00:40:34.040 thoughts. It's people not taking responsibility for anything in their life and blaming it on chemical

00:40:38.840 imbalances in their brain. People are becoming fucking pussies, man. 1.00

00:40:41.960 Always over-explain things. I always feel the need to have a reason for why I feel things. 1.00

00:40:44.040 But the truth of the matter is, I don't need a reason to feel things, and I don't need permission

00:40:46.760 to feel the way that I do. And so I think realizing that sort of has made it a lot easier to breathe.

00:40:49.240 And I hope maybe you watching it can get some of that from me. You know? Maybe, maybe not.

00:40:53.080 But um... Okay, we're almost at the end. Remember six minutes ago, eight minutes ago,

00:40:56.280 I said, was he gonna say anything funny, anything unpredictable? He did not. He said exactly what

00:40:59.080 he thought he was gonna say. I don't actually remember what the last outro thing was I said

00:41:01.480 in my videos nine months ago. So I'll just make up a new outro here. Bye.

00:41:06.360 Get over it. Get over it. Woo. WRL chat. I know. Maybe I was being a dick. Maybe I was being a dick.

00:41:17.880 I think some people need it, man. I think you need it sometimes. I don't think everyone should be 0.99

00:41:22.120 bum feel sorry for a famous YouTuber who's too sad from Twitter to make a video. Someone needs to tell

00:41:29.080 you to get the fuck over it. WRL. 0.99

00:41:37.960 Question is what? I feel nothing and it hurts. This was such an accurate description.

00:41:48.520 Moving on. Cause this shit fucking, we need a little more energy. 1.00

00:41:52.760 I know that shit was depressing. Wake the fuck up. Let's do 10 pushups real quick. 1.00

00:41:59.080 Hopefully feels like I'm different.

00:41:59.720 Wait, what's your member?

00:42:01.640 We like them.

00:42:02.920 Jennifer K.

00:42:07.240 Oh for the job.

00:42:08.200 We like them, you guys done that good.

00:42:09.960 Like up.

00:42:14.840 I know that something people know they never take you.

00:42:19.240 Want to get back up is so much time for us.

00:42:20.840 Here we are.

00:42:21.560 This thing doesn't happen.

00:42:22.360 I have become very flower because you are definitely getting back up.

00:42:23.800 Speaker, who is amazing.

00:42:25.640 Are you doing Christmas like när I come back up?

00:42:27.600 I can.

SNEAKO - July 13, 2022

D’Angelo Wallace is Back and Mentally Healthy!

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