SNEAKO - September 01, 2024Everybody’s Got Something (DEC 2019, SNEAKO)
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
205.82314
Summary
This episode is about depression and how to deal with it. I talk about my own struggles with it and how I dealt with it as well as how mental health is complicated but it s also not as simple as fear and doubt.
Transcript
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I finally admitted to myself that I get depressed you don't want to say it out loud because then
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it's real I also didn't want to be one of those kids who says they're depressed for sad boy clout
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but it's been a tough past couple weeks man I've also had the flu for like three weeks the same
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time I'm going through a depressive period so every morning I'm waking up thinking do I want
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to kill myself or do I just have to diarrhea everywhere right before Christmas I said fuck
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it and booked a flight to New Orleans and left the next morning I wanted to go somewhere warm
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to get out of the miserable brick New York cold I wanted to visit a great city and also get drunk
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with strangers New Orleans is the best place for all three first couple days were great I went to
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museums I did touristy things you know I saw parades and I took pictures of stuff that feels different
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because you're on vacation people really are different in the south that always surprises me
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I was taking videos with my tripod and some guy walks over and points at it says that's legs I'm
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like how do I answer that and not make you feel as stupid as that sounded but the third day on the
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trip I woke up and felt the same way I didn't want to move I just wanted to lay in bed and go on my phone
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which sucked because I had made it that far in the trip without touching social media once at one o'clock
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I finally got out of bed stepped outside and the first thing I saw was this guy getting pulled over and
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immediately he gets out of his car which you don't do and then he strips naked I'm standing on the
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sidewalk with this homeless guy watching this free entertainment we're laughing our asses off we
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see the guy get tased three times in the chest and he eats it all then he chased me down the sidewalk
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with his dick out this all has to do with depression trust me at first I felt guilty because my first
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thought was this is gonna go viral which yeah blah blah influencers only care about fame or whatever
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that's for a different video but seeing a seemingly sane man just driving then flip a switch like he was on
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bath salts after I couldn't get out of bed for four hours it made me realize that everybody's got
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something we all deal with depression and anxiety took me so long to realize that because so many
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people in my generation use mental health for their underdog story I used to make fun of depressed
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people in high school I went to this boarding school in New Hampshire because I got a scholarship
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but most of the students there were straight out of treatment therapy centers a lot of them were
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suicidal addicts anxious but a lot of them just had rich parents that threw money at their
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kids problems these kids weren't depressed they were teenagers these kids were taking xanax and
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antidepressants because they cried and got nervous sometimes then it became mainstream cool to be
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mentally unwell overly dramatic tv shows rappers making hit songs about dying I thought that depression
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was just a choice what I never understood when I was in high school was how these people describe
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depression as a disease it just seemed too simple to cure man just be happy the sick part of depression
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is how it romanticizes itself when you're depressed there's a part of your brain that believes it's
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special because it's broken you feel unique you become almost proud that you have a disadvantage
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that's the sickness because part of you also believes that you're worthless why are you sad you have a good
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life you're being fucking lazy piece of shit get out of bed you cunt you can't even move you suck
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when you start believing it's real then it's real everybody deals with anxiety and depression not
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everyone knows they do we all cope in different ways some people have god some people have colorful
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crystals some people have therapy wine mom night these are all coping mechanisms mental health is
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complicated but it's also not at all it's as simple as fear and doubt if we were all content nobody would
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do crazy shit to prove themselves nobody would start a family if we were all normal and happy
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nobody would do shit I don't want to do youtube videos I don't want to do comedy I don't want to
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do any of the shit all I want to do is lay down vertically in my bed with some drugs and snacks
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unfortunately that also makes me massively depressed nobody wants to get out of bed in the morning
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yeah there's a couple people who do wake up and play upbeat commercial music let's start the day
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those people are psychopaths they don't count I mean normal people with jobs with stress with kids
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with debt with a failing business rappers with 200 instagram followers nobody wants to get up in the