SNEAKO - December 15, 2022Heckler Cries at Stand-Up Comedian for RACISM!
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
150.66338
Summary
Comedian, comedian, writer, podcaster, and all-around douchebag Dave Chappelle joins Jemele to discuss stand-up comedy, racism, and why comedians should be forced to do stand-ups.
Transcript
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do you see this one heckler calls me racist there's more wokies i want to watch this is
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similar category heckler calls me racist uh this this this happens i used to stand up in new york
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city for about six months uh doing a lot of open mics this is one of the hardest situations to
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handle it's tough i had a guy charged the stage one time i don't remember what i was talking i
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think i was just roasting austin texas and then some guy comes up like hey you don't talk about
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it and it was just in a bar and like 90 of the people weren't even listening just five people
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in front some drunk guy wanted to stop it said some shit i'm like hey what's up man
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it's hard to handle this is way better than the last show i just did i was gonna search it up
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because i actually i posted it on my second channel but everything's banned so it's not
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So if someone could find it, I'll link it to my Discord.
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Like, this crowd feels great, but it's going to get good to me.
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I feel like I'm one bad joke away from this feeling like a public pool.
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That's not one's first choice to swim, but it's a pool.
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I'm going to be the band-aid you swim away from.
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Look how we're all together in this room getting a new COVID variant.
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That's why I think politicians should be forced to do stand-up.
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If any politician did stand-up in history, they could have avoided controversy.
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I voted for Joe Biden, but that shit didn't feel great.
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Felt like I was giving Grandpa the keys to the Oldsmobile
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I love going to stand-up shows everyone in here is like
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and paying $40, ordering a two-drink minimum to sit there.
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Any black person that would try to laugh at his fucking jokes, no.
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Can we get her an Adderalline water or something?
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Black, no, you're white, trying to, like, talk about, no, and you-
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I don't know who the fuck you're mad at, but it's not me.
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No, a white person trying to make fun of black people.
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See, now you're crying, and I was just trying to make you laugh.
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I don't care. You trying to, like, laugh at that shit.
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This is another reason why I left New York City.
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Everybody knows you go to the basement for political opinion.
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I don't even know what he's saying, but it's just, shit sounds tense.
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the funniest thing as a black person as a white person talking to a black the funniest thing he
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could have said is nigger that would have been the funniest and then he would go to jail and
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then his youtube channel gets deleted we're on rumble blah blah blah blah blah blah deep funny
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objectively and any anybody who's actually knows that like as a as a white man nigger
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done i would laugh would you laugh at that the other jokes oh my probation officer if he just
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went well nigger okay okay don't you're gonna clip it up you're gonna clip it up what are you
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gonna take all right all right all right am i wrong am i wrong black people in the chat you
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know it's true one more time one more time one more time
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everybody knows you go to the basement for political opinion
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i don't even know what he's saying but it's just shit sounds tense
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fuck no no no that's wrong that's wrong clipped all right
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why do you think i'm doing this you can get tiktok accounts deleted for that my tiktok's
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already gone the stoic the stoic negro okay for the documentary for the white soy boy who's making
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a documentary about me right now look at the stoic negro where'd you go
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for a living you think i was a football player i'm a bitch god damn it
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there's nothing you can say to me i haven't said six inches from the mirror
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you're the first name going in my suicide note tonight
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and another thing i don't like about stand-up in new york city is that it's like low-key kind
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of therapy for a lot of people it's he's like i'm depressed i'm suicidal i'm gonna kill myself
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Right there, right there, right there. Oh, was it?
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yeah go pick up the gun she left under the chair
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pick up the fried chicken okay okay okay okay okay okay okay all right all right chat say what's
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up to youtube say what's up to the documentary okay the soy boy who's gonna go clip this up
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all right all right all right just say hi just say hi this is making the cut we know this is
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making the cup don't chat it wasn't funny don't snigger no sniggering allowed
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okay wait hold on focus focus focus focus focus
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oh whoa you see these fucking pussies this is a comedy club in a basement
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you should be able to say it like anything whoa he called her bitch
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can i ask you a question what part was i being racist at
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i got blackface over here in the trunk i was ready
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okay now he's bringing it back i'm fucking with this why the fuck are you recording put your
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goddamn phone down and sit geez look this is this is new york's just going everyone's like
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do you do you feel the woke in the you can feel it you can feel the blm in here why the fuck you
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recording put your goddamn let's do it why the fuck grown adults for fun in here to just like
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clap yes i'm okay like fuck off man they treat everything like it's a speech you're recording
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put your goddamn phone down and sit nope nope nope okay shamir shamir shamir you're done okay
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look for the documentary look at this guy this guy's saying nook figures and i'm banning him
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for the live stream you'll be back tomorrow at 8 p.m you had enough of the day
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can i ask you a question no idea was i being racist no idea it was what it was cupcake
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cupcake what what the dog that's what she was upset about it took her 15 minutes to be that mad
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it was i don't i feel like we're processing it at the same time i don't know this motherfucker
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will be my attorney this whole show i feel like i've seen you in los santos customs and
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grand theft auto dog it's like listen we'll get this paint job but first i don't know what she's
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mad about it's not you thank you put your goddamn phone down you know i can still see you right
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just put it down look at me put your phone down look at me put it down
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you can raise it up in three minutes when i'm not paying attention but i'm still gonna get
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through this last joke she wasn't gonna like that last joke either i'll be honest
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he brought it back he brought it back like i know some of the jokes look but
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to come back from a crying woman no you're racist to this bro chat chat chat chat chat
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no you gotta go you gotta go i can't i can't do that
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you can't do that he brought it back well i just don't like my dad is black and my mom
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is white and i came out a dominican lesbian you know like he didn't look how long he took to pull
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that card his dad's black and he just finally said that i didn't even do any of my black and
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white material and she just looked at me and went this motherfucker needs to pay reparations
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all right someone in the chat said uh why do americans care so much about race it's not a
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thing in south america it's because we got less problems and they've used it to make us all make
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no sense and cry we're miserable about other shit it's just meant to keep us divided talking about
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nothing really the truest form of an anti-racist society is a society where everybody says chink
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everybody says cracker everybody says kike everybody says nigger we openly say everything
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ah you fucking chink hey shut up nigger hey well fuck off kike we all get together what's the
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italian one wop that one doesn't even work cardi b ruined it if we could all get together and
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say racial slurs and then go out and and then kill a mexican together that's a society that i want to
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be a part of equality but instead a divided society is is like america in south america
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saying it's not a problem it never happens they want us to they want us to be divided they want
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us to be separate they want us to be arguing about nothing you know when race never even
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becomes an issue is rich people i noticed that in romania being with fresh and fit and justin
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waller and andrew and tristan all these different races justin waller's like a cowboy type southern
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dude who played football and fresh and fit uh it's like black and white and mix and me and
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fresh calls me a chink all the time says like i eat dogs
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everybody gets along when you could just let go of that and it doesn't even become a factor
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once you start making money you don't look at somebody like well you just make money together
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this is getting clipped right shout out to the youtube documentary hey what's up all of you
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you look the same you know that clip this part in of the documentary and then he went on rumble
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and his rhetoric got problematic his downward spiral could not be contained even after being
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banned in his chat all they did all they did was keep it going
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that should have been and if i'm really people in the chat are saying i'm a free speech advocate
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my first feedback was kind of cringe it did really well after i got unbanned it was like uh testing
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testing is this thing on i was basically like referencing the a tweet of him getting unbanned
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if i was really about free speech and if i was really about it my first tweet back all caps and
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you know what not even gonna lie a little bit of a sim sold out a little bit i'm like testing
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even now i really i don't want to lose twitter i value the platform i'm limited to ban on twitch
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youtube i want to keep twitter so i'm playing it safe if i was really about it first tweet back
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all caps nigger faggot that should have been my first week back if i'm really about it but i don't
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want the smoke i don't want the smoke i gotta keep the platforms i can get imagine if i did that
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finally got it back somebody paid iman paid like 20k to get it back i didn't even pay him back
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and then i get banned nigger faggot is it really worth it kind of it's a statement it's like i
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That would have been a fucking statement for free speech.
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chat one one if i should tweet nigger faggot all caps right now two if i should just
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be a simp and then like tweet about fake news and culture war whatever bullshit
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yo nick is a funny guy nick fuentes is a funny dude uh he won't get mad at me for saying this
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when that whole ketchup incident happened you know thank you for the 50 nissan
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this married couple and they're going by we leave the restaurant because like bro people
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recording tmz it was all this heck it was getting hectic um and we're walking out and the car's
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going by and they're like fuck you and nick goes we love hitler yeah we love hitler
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this guy in that moment i'm like bro i'm not as wild i'm not as wild my first sweep back
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all right all right all right all right i don't care anymore
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someone in the chat said we bring in middle school back bitches because that's when it was
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the funniest i said i miss my my middle school friends that's the the type of relationship we
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would have like that we would all make jokes about each other make slave jokes make holocaust jokes
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they would say that i'm smoking opium and uh getting blown up building the railroads call me
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a zipper head and then we make slave jokes and holocaust jokes all my two best friends in
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childhood uh i would tim tompkins and and kyle galzenis so i still remember those conversations
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a lot i really think like joking around with them formulated my opinions now a jew and a black guy
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and i was i was pretty much asian back then i know they call me light skin or whatever mix i
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look more mixed now but back then i was a chink full on i had glasses i had braces i was just a
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chink and then the it was the three of us the jew a nigger and a chink and we would just roast each
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other relentlessly like talk about slavery and say your relatives are burning in auschwitz and then
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when they learned about all the asian slurs calling me it was just it was bad it was bad
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it hurt it stung painful humor but that was what's really funny you hear the shit we just
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watched that that stand-up in new york and some of it was funny but you see like you're like wait
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till i have my jim crow jokes to go oh oh whoa whoa uh-oh uh-oh fucking plussies bro
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fucking puts yeah chinko in the chat i deserve it for saying nigger so much to stream chinko in
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the chat do it do it i need i need that get back wing long wing long i remember the first time i
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got triggered some white kid came up to me like oh you're asian chinese japanese dirty knees look
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at these and i got triggered but that's some funny shit ha ha shiny it's funny someone's
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gonna screenshot that and that's gonna be a fucking thumbnail it is what i don't give a fuck
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bro i'm tired of all this whoa whoa whoa fuck you fuck you this is what the phone has ruined it
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because everything is going to be clipped up on social media this being able to cancel somebody
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for some out of context five second shit even though in context if you set the scene that's
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why you guys all laughed some wokeys who threw ketchup at nick and then drive away saying fuck
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you him going yeah well we love hitler is funny because you understand it but imagine if somebody
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just goes to this you see nick fuentes already getting called racist someone goes like this
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and take out all the context of the ketchup of them going up and flipping them off to his face
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and then you get d-bent thank you brayden gave five dollars to call me a racial slur
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that's what we need that's the least racist people are people who say that that's the least racist
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five dollars to call me a racial slur thank you now what are you so i could call you
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All right, all right, all right, all right, okay