SNEAKO - March 07, 2024


SNEAKO Finally Returns To Comedy Night!


Episode Stats

Length

34 minutes

Words per Minute

126.644295

Word Count

4,403

Sentence Count

572

Misogynist Sentences

67

Hate Speech Sentences

84


Summary

Summaries generated with gmurro/bart-large-finetuned-filtered-spotify-podcast-summ .

Comedian, comedian, and all-around funny guy, Sneeko, joins Jemele to talk about a variety of topics, including: his love life, his favorite color, and much more! The night was hosted by DJ Khaled, who was joined by special guest and friend of the show, Jamey Johnson.

Transcript

Transcript generated with Whisper (turbo).
Misogyny classifications generated with MilaNLProc/bert-base-uncased-ear-misogyny .
Hate speech classifications generated with facebook/roberta-hate-speech-dynabench-r4-target .
00:00:00.000 If you've ever wondered how I have so much energy to be able to go to the gym twice a day,
00:00:03.880 stream, run all my businesses, it's because I need to have a stimulant and a capsule right here.
00:00:08.720 Sabre Supplements. Sabre is proven to boost your testosterone, give you more energy. It's a
00:00:13.080 stimulant. I take four in the morning sometimes. You can just take two if you want to be lame,
00:00:16.780 but we just released it, sabresupplements.com. And look at the bottle. It looks nice. It's good.
00:00:22.480 It's going up right now. A lot of people on Twitter are talking about it. I'm very excited
00:00:25.660 to see more people take it in the future, but this is right here. This is where I get my energy.
00:00:29.740 This is how I feel vital. It's proven to boost your testosterone, give you more energy and
00:00:34.260 improve your cognitive function. SabreSupplements.com.
00:00:41.760 Here we go. I got a good feeling about this one. I got a good feeling about this one.
00:00:52.600 Come on, man. We got $100 to the winner.
00:00:59.740 Okay. The room is called
00:01:05.760 Wait, somebody made a room.
00:01:13.780 No, I want to host it. I want to host it.
00:01:16.100 The room is called
00:01:16.980 The room is called Autism Love Speech.
00:01:21.480 Okay? You see it?
00:01:22.760 Let's make it good.
00:01:24.400 Locked. Comedy night.
00:01:25.560 It's going to be good for once.
00:01:27.660 Come on. Be funny. Be funny.
00:01:31.860 There we go.
00:01:33.360 Hey, finally.
00:01:37.500 What the fuck, dude?
00:01:39.820 Yo, what's going on with Joe?
00:01:41.980 What up, man? How you doing?
00:01:45.780 What do you call
00:01:46.760 A man that can't breathe.
00:01:50.680 George Floyd.
00:01:53.200 Riddle me this.
00:01:54.420 They shoot people for corn.
00:01:55.940 They've been doing this since they were born.
00:01:58.300 They are most likely to give you AIDS,
00:02:00.000 and they are dark like the ace of spades.
00:02:02.240 Who are they?
00:02:03.480 I don't know. Who?
00:02:07.760 Let's give it up for the host.
00:02:09.840 Hey, man.
00:02:11.180 Thank you for putting this together.
00:02:12.520 We don't have to deal with fake-ass prank calls.
00:02:16.880 Hey, I just want to...
00:02:18.060 Can we get a...
00:02:18.780 Can we get a...
00:02:19.660 Can we get a round of applause
00:02:21.060 for our host, Sneeko, over here?
00:02:23.780 Who?
00:02:26.480 Well, you're hitting the wrong button.
00:02:28.300 That's the funny button.
00:02:29.720 I don't know what to say.
00:02:30.860 Who?
00:02:31.900 Hey, and to my next...
00:02:33.120 I just would like to introduce
00:02:34.300 the next performer.
00:02:37.980 So a Christian, a Jew, and a Muslim
00:02:39.940 walk into a bar.
00:02:41.020 Who was told to get out first?
00:02:43.240 I don't know who.
00:02:44.060 No one.
00:02:44.540 The Muslim blew it up.
00:02:46.220 Ha!
00:02:46.680 Boo!
00:02:49.440 Riddle me this.
00:02:51.400 As we smile, we see less.
00:02:54.080 What are we?
00:02:55.320 China.
00:02:56.400 Chinks.
00:02:57.540 The fucking chinks!
00:02:59.240 Nice.
00:02:59.940 What do we learn from Strictly
00:03:01.260 in the Muslim community?
00:03:02.600 I don't know.
00:03:03.080 The fastest way to Sneeko's heart
00:03:04.620 is threatening his life.
00:03:07.200 Come on, man.
00:03:08.060 What the hell?
00:03:08.580 What's a funny joke
00:03:15.200 that starts with S?
00:03:18.860 Start running
00:03:19.700 because I'm grabbing your IP.
00:03:25.120 That guy's a pussy
00:03:26.040 for grabbing your IP,
00:03:26.960 but honestly,
00:03:27.940 I hate how everything's
00:03:28.880 so politically incorrect nowadays.
00:03:30.840 You can't even say black paint.
00:03:32.640 You have to say,
00:03:33.660 Tyrone, would you please
00:03:34.560 paint my fence?
00:03:35.220 What's niggas
00:03:42.100 and Jews
00:03:42.500 have in common?
00:03:43.600 They both
00:03:44.160 kid and born babies.
00:03:47.500 Bro, I'm gonna ban you
00:03:48.560 if you just
00:03:48.840 deserve the N-word, bro.
00:03:49.900 Where do
00:03:50.720 polar bears
00:03:51.600 keep their money?
00:03:54.620 In a snowbank.
00:03:57.880 W-man.
00:03:58.500 You're banned.
00:04:00.280 You're banned
00:04:00.880 from the room, bro.
00:04:03.000 What's black and blue
00:04:03.960 and doesn't like to have sex?
00:04:06.140 The little girl
00:04:06.720 in my trunk.
00:04:09.900 Why would you say-
00:04:11.120 What's George Floyd's
00:04:17.600 favorite color?
00:04:18.380 Oh my God.
00:04:20.260 Neon.
00:04:20.740 What?
00:04:23.200 That doesn't-
00:04:24.180 That doesn't make any sense.
00:04:25.200 What's the difference
00:04:25.740 between a Pajit
00:04:26.740 and Fresh?
00:04:28.020 There's none.
00:04:28.700 They're both fucking monkeys.
00:04:32.260 Fuck.
00:04:32.900 That's not funny.
00:04:33.840 How do you circumcise
00:04:34.600 a redneck?
00:04:35.780 You kick your sister
00:04:36.540 in the jaw.
00:04:39.620 What's the difference
00:04:40.580 between a black man
00:04:41.980 and Batman?
00:04:44.280 Batman can go a night
00:04:45.400 without Robin.
00:04:46.100 Sneaker's falling off
00:04:49.800 so hard
00:04:50.300 even his mom
00:04:51.080 is sending
00:04:51.380 his costume voicemail.
00:04:53.960 How do you get-
00:04:55.040 Yo, how does a black girl
00:04:57.220 know if she's pregnant?
00:04:58.760 When she pulls the tampon out,
00:05:00.620 all the cotton
00:05:01.200 is already picked.
00:05:04.800 I like that one.
00:05:07.220 Boo!
00:05:09.860 Fuck you, Sneaker.
00:05:11.000 I'm just kidding.
00:05:11.820 Yo, so,
00:05:12.660 this one time
00:05:13.380 I was on the highway, right?
00:05:14.940 Fuck you!
00:05:16.100 No, that's like-
00:05:17.300 Yo,
00:05:17.840 what do you get
00:05:19.520 when you mix Fresh
00:05:21.020 and the Postal Service?
00:05:23.300 Any other lesbians in here?
00:05:34.940 How many cops
00:05:36.060 does it change
00:05:36.640 to change a label?
00:05:38.240 How many?
00:05:39.920 They just beat the room
00:05:40.760 for being black.
00:05:41.440 They don't fix it.
00:05:44.400 Boo!
00:05:44.760 What's Sneaker and Ryan
00:05:45.980 Garcia have in common?
00:05:47.640 What?
00:05:48.040 They both watch
00:05:48.960 while sitting tight
00:05:49.880 in the corner.
00:05:53.720 Yo, how do you
00:05:54.540 starve a black person?
00:05:56.280 Put their food stamp
00:05:57.440 under their work boots.
00:06:00.240 Hey, am I right?
00:06:01.300 Am I right?
00:06:02.240 Boo!
00:06:03.180 Yeah, bro.
00:06:05.180 What do all
00:06:05.900 Indians have in common?
00:06:08.180 They smell like shit.
00:06:09.240 Yes, we go.
00:06:09.680 Yeah!
00:06:10.140 Yeah!
00:06:11.940 Yeah!
00:06:13.560 Oh, my fault.
00:06:14.480 My fault.
00:06:15.120 Yeah, I misclicked.
00:06:17.420 Wow, wow.
00:06:18.840 Your baby likes.
00:06:20.900 Your baby likes, brother.
00:06:27.580 What's the difference
00:06:28.560 between St. Patrick's Day
00:06:30.000 and Martin Luther King Day?
00:06:31.640 What?
00:06:32.240 On St. Patrick's Day,
00:06:33.580 everyone wants to be Irish.
00:06:34.760 What?
00:06:37.860 After all the shit,
00:06:39.400 after all the shit
00:06:40.240 we've been through,
00:06:41.120 you're gonna act like
00:06:41.720 you don't know me on stream.
00:06:42.900 That's not funny.
00:06:43.940 There's nothing funny
00:06:44.980 about that, bro.
00:06:45.980 You, W, don't.
00:06:47.560 What's the difference
00:06:48.300 putting a black man
00:06:49.240 in snow tires?
00:06:50.360 Snow tires don't bitch
00:06:51.480 when you chain them up.
00:06:53.740 Yo, why doesn't Mexico
00:06:55.140 have an Olympic team?
00:06:56.760 Why?
00:06:56.880 Because everyone
00:06:57.200 that can run,
00:06:58.140 jump, and swim
00:06:58.880 are already
00:06:59.480 in the United States.
00:07:00.780 What's white at the top
00:07:03.360 and black at the bottom?
00:07:05.320 Society.
00:07:07.660 Yo, so let me tell my joke.
00:07:09.160 So I was on the highway
00:07:09.980 driving and there was
00:07:10.860 this ambulance running by
00:07:12.120 with the lights on, right?
00:07:13.560 And fucking,
00:07:14.900 it takes a turn
00:07:15.660 and the lights go off
00:07:16.700 and I'm like,
00:07:17.460 oh yeah,
00:07:17.780 it was a black person
00:07:18.540 sitting inside.
00:07:19.020 They gave up.
00:07:21.380 That was the worst joke.
00:07:22.720 Why are black people
00:07:23.400 so fast
00:07:24.200 while the slow ones
00:07:25.200 are in jail?
00:07:29.320 No more black jokes.
00:07:30.780 It's like something else,
00:07:31.600 man.
00:07:31.820 There's spots open
00:07:32.520 for people to join.
00:07:33.320 Come on.
00:07:45.360 Sneakers falling off
00:07:46.260 so hard
00:07:46.760 his new grift has become
00:07:47.980 hey, watch his Nazi
00:07:49.420 get the shit
00:07:50.060 out of him.
00:07:52.360 How do you get
00:07:53.160 two Jews
00:07:53.700 to fight each other?
00:07:55.220 You throw a baby
00:07:56.180 in the middle of him.
00:07:58.080 Oh my God.
00:07:58.780 What do you say
00:07:59.080 when you see your TV
00:08:00.060 floating in the dark?
00:08:02.380 Jamal, drop my TV, bro.
00:08:05.880 Neon!
00:08:06.860 Oh.
00:08:09.180 I know what I'm being.
00:08:11.660 Alright,
00:08:12.100 nobody's winning the money.
00:08:13.160 I'm giving out money
00:08:14.000 for the people.
00:08:15.120 Come on, man.
00:08:16.060 And I said,
00:08:16.880 water.
00:08:17.880 They said,
00:08:18.580 I don't get it.
00:08:20.000 And I said,
00:08:21.040 yeah,
00:08:21.320 you never will.
00:08:21.980 I know what I'm doing.
00:08:24.700 I fucked Siri.
00:08:25.640 I fucked Siri.
00:08:26.420 I fucked her.
00:08:26.460 I fucked her.
00:08:28.120 Get off.
00:08:30.380 Uh, shit.
00:08:31.400 Uh,
00:08:32.080 what's the difference
00:08:32.740 between Indians
00:08:33.560 and a bucket of shit?
00:08:35.720 The bucket of shit.
00:08:39.400 What's black and blue?
00:08:40.460 It doesn't like to have sex.
00:08:42.180 What?
00:08:42.500 A little girl in my trunk.
00:08:43.640 Bro,
00:08:44.480 that's the second time.
00:08:45.960 What the fuck?
00:08:48.740 I said to my girlfriend,
00:08:50.380 have you ever tried
00:08:51.300 Somali food?
00:08:52.260 She said no.
00:08:53.040 I said,
00:08:53.320 yeah,
00:08:53.480 neither have they.
00:08:55.020 Ha!
00:08:55.340 So guys,
00:08:55.940 I thought he went to the zoo yesterday,
00:08:57.060 turned out I was in the hood.
00:08:57.840 How do you make a seven-year-old girl cry twice?
00:09:06.180 You wipe your bloody dick on her teddy bear.
00:09:09.380 Oh.
00:09:12.940 Oh,
00:09:13.540 this guy stinks.
00:09:24.620 He's bad.
00:09:25.460 What happens when you mix Michael Jackson
00:09:27.060 with Arnold Schwarzenegger?
00:09:30.260 Michael wasn't here.
00:09:31.900 What?
00:09:33.600 Wait, wait, wait.
00:09:34.460 What?
00:09:37.220 Yo, Sneeko,
00:09:38.240 can I do a prank call?
00:09:40.100 How do you turn
00:09:40.860 into a vegetable?
00:09:43.660 Sneeko,
00:09:44.040 how do you do?
00:09:45.160 I'm banning random people.
00:09:46.340 I want more people in here.
00:09:47.600 Chat,
00:09:47.960 guys,
00:09:48.240 join.
00:09:48.580 This spot's open.
00:09:50.340 Thank you for calling.
00:09:50.980 All calls are recorded
00:09:52.500 for quality assurance.
00:09:53.880 This is the name
00:09:54.240 of the propositions of calidad.
00:09:56.100 To place a new order
00:09:58.060 or make changes
00:09:58.900 to an existing order,
00:10:00.380 press one
00:10:00.920 to hear the status.
00:10:04.380 We're open
00:10:05.300 and hiring
00:10:05.860 for more than 30,000
00:10:07.200 new positions nationwide.
00:10:09.300 We've also implemented
00:10:10.240 new contactless policies
00:10:11.840 to prioritize
00:10:12.860 the day
00:10:13.440 of our team.
00:10:14.060 Give it a second.
00:10:17.960 This is the best content
00:10:18.920 so far.
00:10:24.520 Yo, they lazy,
00:10:26.260 because they glad.
00:10:27.020 have all your family's favorites
00:10:28.560 all in one
00:10:29.400 at the spot.
00:10:30.740 Eat two
00:10:31.280 one-topping pizzas,
00:10:32.920 red sticks,
00:10:33.740 and your choice
00:10:34.360 of pasta or women.
00:10:35.820 Or go all in
00:10:36.680 with three
00:10:37.260 one-topping pizzas.
00:10:38.360 Alright,
00:10:38.600 I'll give someone else a chance.
00:10:40.120 You couldn't wait
00:10:40.640 until they were
00:10:40.980 like on the phone?
00:10:42.400 What's the difference
00:10:43.100 between Prophet Muhammad
00:10:44.180 and Jeffrey Epstein?
00:10:46.360 Nope.
00:10:48.180 Think about this.
00:10:49.720 What's the difference
00:10:50.400 between fresh
00:10:51.220 and monkeys?
00:10:52.320 What?
00:10:52.940 Nothing.
00:10:53.360 They both
00:10:54.180 fuck monkeys.
00:10:55.300 What?
00:10:57.020 Why can't Mexicans
00:11:06.500 play Uno?
00:11:07.340 Why?
00:11:07.980 They always steal
00:11:08.180 the green cards.
00:11:09.320 Hey!
00:11:11.520 Nice.
00:11:16.060 What do you...
00:11:16.980 What's the difference
00:11:18.300 between Hitler
00:11:19.060 and Michael Phelps?
00:11:20.700 What?
00:11:20.960 Phelps can actually
00:11:21.440 finish a race.
00:11:23.120 What?
00:11:25.300 We have taken
00:11:26.160 Uber order
00:11:26.700 already, sir.
00:11:27.400 All our Uber orders
00:11:28.260 are done already.
00:11:29.360 Yeah, but I'm stuck
00:11:30.220 in the bathroom, sir.
00:11:33.580 Oh, I see.
00:11:35.440 Can you come help me?
00:11:36.920 Can you come help me?
00:11:37.300 Can you come help me?
00:11:39.720 Somebody seems
00:11:40.460 still have locked me
00:11:41.260 in the stall.
00:11:41.800 I can't stay the night.
00:11:42.060 I can't stay the night.
00:11:42.620 I can't stay the night.
00:11:43.140 I can't stay the night.
00:11:43.620 No, I'm stuck.
00:11:44.420 He knows you're pranking, dumbass.
00:11:58.280 You can't be locked into a stall, dude.
00:12:03.420 Why is there air conditioning
00:12:05.040 in hospitals to keep the vegetables
00:12:07.140 cool and fresh?
00:12:11.340 What does Aiden Ross
00:12:12.720 and a tampon have in common?
00:12:14.640 What?
00:12:15.200 They both stuck up cuts.
00:12:16.480 Why is that funny, bro?
00:12:31.700 Why is that funny, bro?
00:12:33.440 I have type 1 diabetes.
00:12:41.900 I had a dark joke to tell,
00:12:44.100 but some cock kneeled
00:12:45.100 on the joke's neck.
00:12:48.780 Is that Goda, bro?
00:12:50.060 What do you get out of here, bro?
00:12:51.160 No, that's not-
00:12:52.460 No, I love you.
00:12:53.680 I love you.
00:12:55.440 Hey, why do these con-
00:12:56.540 you can ask blacks
00:12:57.320 when they smoke fucking backwards?
00:13:00.060 Because they want to smoke
00:13:00.720 all the way for the fucking police
00:13:01.900 coming west of fucking
00:13:02.840 your asses.
00:13:07.620 Yo, what's the difference
00:13:09.460 between cloth and, um,
00:13:12.100 uh, cotton.
00:13:13.980 Never say cotton.
00:13:15.520 Uh, cloth.
00:13:18.840 That's what makes you fucks laugh?
00:13:21.160 Wait, wait, wait, hold on.
00:13:22.360 How do you-
00:13:22.960 how do you get a woman
00:13:23.880 to stop being raped?
00:13:24.940 She has to say yes.
00:13:26.200 John Strickland,
00:13:26.800 I'm not gonna hold you.
00:13:29.040 What did you say?
00:13:30.580 I was tickling my brother's feet
00:13:32.440 and my mom said
00:13:33.360 to stop doing it
00:13:34.420 and wait until he was born.
00:13:36.140 I kept going, though.
00:13:39.660 What do you call
00:13:40.420 a Muslim flying a plane?
00:13:43.140 The pilot, he racist.
00:13:45.600 Okay, good, good.
00:13:46.860 Great joke.
00:13:47.800 What if he was a passenger?
00:13:48.840 I'm flying a plane.
00:13:51.160 I'm flying a plane.
00:13:52.000 I'm flying a plane.
00:13:52.960 I'm flying a plane.
00:13:53.960 I'm flying a plane.
00:13:54.460 I'm flying a plane.
00:13:54.960 I'm flying a plane.
00:13:55.460 I'm flying a plane.
00:13:55.960 Boo.
00:13:56.460 Boo.
00:13:56.960 Boo.
00:13:57.460 Boo.
00:13:57.960 Boo.
00:13:58.460 Boo.
00:13:58.760 Why do all black people
00:13:58.960 have nightmares?
00:14:00.760 Because we shot the only one
00:14:01.960 who had a dream.
00:14:04.460 What do you call
00:14:05.020 an Asian millionaire?
00:14:06.560 Cha-ching.
00:14:12.260 How does Nico's kids
00:14:13.360 afford college?
00:14:14.560 How?
00:14:14.960 Through Jack Costa's donations.
00:14:16.360 What do you call
00:14:20.200 Jake Future
00:14:20.780 if he joined
00:14:21.400 Active Income?
00:14:23.120 Walter Weeks.
00:14:25.160 Bro.
00:14:25.860 What?
00:14:26.260 He was the fastest
00:14:27.020 readers in the world.
00:14:28.000 In 2001,
00:14:28.740 they went through
00:14:29.100 97 stories
00:14:29.880 in five seconds.
00:14:32.660 Nico,
00:14:33.140 you got your ass
00:14:33.920 beat by Sean.
00:14:35.760 That ass.
00:14:38.660 What's the most
00:14:39.280 shiny thing
00:14:39.880 on a black person?
00:14:41.740 Their handcuffs.
00:14:42.500 I would beat the fuck
00:14:44.120 out of whoever
00:14:44.500 said that Sean's
00:14:45.180 sugar shit.
00:14:45.480 Get on stage
00:14:45.980 right now.
00:14:56.120 Bro,
00:14:56.700 no more fresh jokes,
00:14:58.020 man.
00:14:59.920 How does every
00:15:00.500 racist joke start?
00:15:02.580 With a look
00:15:03.280 over your shoulder.
00:15:05.320 What's the difference
00:15:06.240 between orange juice
00:15:07.460 and juice?
00:15:09.200 Nothing.
00:15:09.540 They're both
00:15:09.820 concentrated.
00:15:11.800 What?
00:15:12.500 I can't hear.
00:15:13.400 What is the best
00:15:14.060 what is the best
00:15:15.620 final pillow
00:15:16.160 for saber?
00:15:20.220 I don't know
00:15:21.460 what you said.
00:15:23.860 Yo,
00:15:24.680 Sean Strickland
00:15:25.940 got his ass
00:15:26.520 beat by
00:15:26.940 fucking
00:15:27.860 sneaker.
00:15:31.380 I mean
00:15:31.640 fuck you.
00:15:39.160 I still have
00:15:40.320 type 1
00:15:40.880 diabetes.
00:15:43.220 They proposed
00:15:44.060 a new plan
00:15:44.720 for public
00:15:45.560 transportation
00:15:46.100 in Harlem.
00:15:47.480 They're going
00:15:47.760 to plant
00:15:48.060 more trees.
00:15:50.220 You fucking
00:15:51.300 influencers.
00:15:52.320 No one can
00:15:52.840 come with a
00:15:53.320 fucking joke.
00:15:55.720 What's the
00:15:56.240 one day of the
00:15:57.060 year that white
00:15:57.660 people cook
00:15:58.200 better than
00:15:58.740 black people?
00:16:00.800 Father's Day.
00:16:02.360 Nice.
00:16:03.220 Ha.
00:16:03.540 when a baby
00:16:04.180 on board
00:16:04.580 sticker's a
00:16:05.080 little faded
00:16:05.520 and beat up.
00:16:06.380 You know
00:16:06.580 the kid
00:16:06.880 is at least
00:16:07.260 a year old
00:16:07.880 and the car
00:16:08.320 saved the
00:16:08.880 ram.
00:16:12.360 Autistic
00:16:12.760 delivery.
00:16:13.440 Just a reminder,
00:16:14.220 she might be
00:16:14.920 in line on a
00:16:15.600 bad day,
00:16:16.680 but she's
00:16:17.120 10 on her
00:16:17.640 birthday.
00:16:18.000 Ha.
00:16:19.000 Ha.
00:16:19.580 Freestyle.
00:16:29.300 Freestyle.
00:16:29.740 Yo, I'm about to
00:16:46.420 freestyle.
00:16:47.300 That just gave me
00:16:47.940 an idea.
00:16:48.400 Yo, hey, I said
00:16:53.600 I'm Jewish.
00:16:54.660 Yeah, he tickled me
00:16:55.660 when I was two.
00:16:56.860 Yo, he tickled my
00:16:58.360 pickle when I was
00:16:59.160 three.
00:17:00.220 Any time you
00:17:00.940 step to me, I'm
00:17:01.620 finna hit you
00:17:02.260 with a two, two,
00:17:03.220 three.
00:17:04.160 Psych, I don't
00:17:04.920 keep a gun.
00:17:05.820 I live in a blue
00:17:06.760 state.
00:17:07.340 The hottest one
00:17:08.060 under the sun.
00:17:08.940 That's California.
00:17:10.080 If you step to me,
00:17:11.020 I'm gonna hit you
00:17:11.660 in your cornea.
00:17:13.100 Yo, hey, said
00:17:14.520 you cornea.
00:17:15.840 If you step to me,
00:17:16.800 I'm finna get you
00:17:17.600 it like a split.
00:17:18.400 Yo.
00:17:20.220 And I said,
00:17:21.280 if you're saying
00:17:21.900 boo.
00:17:23.860 I should've kept
00:17:24.580 him on.
00:17:24.860 I was having sex
00:17:25.140 with a German girl
00:17:26.060 and she wouldn't
00:17:26.820 stop screaming her
00:17:27.780 age during sex.
00:17:31.300 Guys, why is the
00:17:32.280 bottom of the ocean
00:17:33.040 so dark?
00:17:34.800 Because niggers
00:17:35.480 can't swim.
00:17:36.200 Oh my God!
00:17:37.560 I thought it was
00:17:38.080 because it was
00:17:38.440 harder for light
00:17:39.060 to get out there.
00:17:40.080 Why did Sneeko
00:17:40.860 become Muslim?
00:17:42.260 Because they're
00:17:42.840 a broken bag Sneeko.
00:17:43.880 I'll be nice
00:17:44.320 for this time,
00:17:44.860 bro.
00:17:45.820 Sneeko, he got
00:17:46.340 fucking beat
00:17:47.120 at by Sean Street.
00:17:47.900 in your fucking
00:17:48.720 hot ticket.
00:17:52.240 You fucking
00:17:53.240 influencer,
00:17:54.060 fucking idiot.
00:17:54.900 Fucking fuck you
00:17:55.700 all.
00:17:57.420 Damn it,
00:17:57.820 you fucking
00:17:58.240 influencer.
00:17:59.200 You fucking
00:17:59.560 influencer.
00:18:00.140 All right,
00:18:00.340 here's the joke.
00:18:01.360 Where do you store
00:18:01.900 antique farming equipment?
00:18:03.840 In the housing
00:18:04.800 projects.
00:18:05.360 Why are Jewish men
00:18:08.940 circumcised?
00:18:10.500 Why?
00:18:11.040 Because Jewish women
00:18:12.080 won't touch anything
00:18:13.020 that isn't 10% off.
00:18:18.540 Yo, fuck Sneeko, man.
00:18:20.300 Fuck Sneeko, man.
00:18:21.660 Fuck this guy, dude.
00:18:22.660 Fuck you.
00:18:23.280 Fuck you.
00:18:23.980 Fuck you.
00:18:25.060 Fuck you.
00:18:25.880 Clown, man.
00:18:27.020 Clown, man.
00:18:27.860 Chicken boy.
00:18:28.500 Why did Hitler
00:18:31.060 kill himself?
00:18:32.600 Why?
00:18:32.840 He saw the gas bill.
00:18:34.400 Bro!
00:18:37.320 Why are black people
00:18:38.440 black?
00:18:39.900 Because they were
00:18:40.580 slaves.
00:18:43.780 Who runs faster
00:18:44.620 than criminals?
00:18:46.220 Mexicans trying to get
00:18:47.120 freedom.
00:18:47.920 Clip that one, bro.
00:18:48.660 That was so funny, bro.
00:18:50.060 Ah, come on.
00:18:51.380 Boo!
00:18:51.880 Yo, Hesky, this knuckle
00:18:56.220 just called me a
00:18:57.060 spick beaner.
00:18:58.960 I have type 1 diabetes.
00:19:04.520 Yo.
00:19:06.040 I said I got type 2 diabetes
00:19:08.760 because I'm eating all the stew
00:19:10.360 every day in the stew
00:19:11.920 cooking up Betty Crocker
00:19:13.600 if a motherfuckers
00:19:14.720 step to me
00:19:15.340 I'm finna hit him
00:19:16.320 with that doorknocker
00:19:17.240 yeah, I keep
00:19:17.900 pockets on soccer
00:19:18.740 yeah, yeah
00:19:19.920 I said like blocker
00:19:21.340 like blocker
00:19:21.980 yeah
00:19:22.400 I said like
00:19:23.280 grrp bow
00:19:23.920 my god go
00:19:24.800 grrp bow
00:19:25.700 my god go
00:19:26.420 grrp bow
00:19:26.740 that's my bars, bro!
00:19:28.120 grrp bow
00:19:28.780 my god go
00:19:29.420 grrp bow
00:19:30.160 yeah
00:19:30.800 I know you're gonna
00:19:32.220 make it out.
00:19:33.100 Man, I hit hard.
00:19:34.200 What do you call a
00:19:34.740 genocidal mass murdering
00:19:36.060 girl with big tits?
00:19:37.920 titler.
00:19:39.900 Alright, this one's on
00:19:40.860 King David.
00:19:41.560 This one's on
00:19:42.040 King David.
00:19:42.760 On King David!
00:19:43.720 How do you pick
00:19:44.360 on King David?
00:19:46.420 Uh, alright, alright.
00:19:47.500 How do you pick up
00:19:48.100 a black girl in a bar?
00:19:49.320 Oh my god.
00:19:50.320 Or what's the best
00:19:50.960 pick up line
00:19:51.460 per se?
00:19:53.180 You're the
00:19:53.480 you're...
00:19:54.480 Oh my god.
00:19:57.040 Alright, guys.
00:19:57.540 So, I have an
00:19:58.660 announcement to make
00:19:59.480 and that is that
00:20:01.440 Sneeko is, uh...
00:20:04.400 He's a big gay.
00:20:07.880 Guys, why does it suck
00:20:09.280 I'm a black Jew?
00:20:11.160 Why?
00:20:11.820 Because you have to
00:20:12.360 sit at the back
00:20:12.940 of the oven.
00:20:15.820 What's the benefit
00:20:16.820 of having sex
00:20:17.660 with a pregnant woman?
00:20:18.880 You can have sex
00:20:19.740 and a blowjob
00:20:20.680 at the same time.
00:20:24.320 What did Angie
00:20:25.300 ask Marin at their wedding?
00:20:26.800 Why are you wearing
00:20:27.520 a Punisher hoodie?
00:20:28.960 Bruh...
00:20:29.280 Get off the stage
00:20:33.720 now, you did well.
00:20:38.040 What do black people
00:20:39.220 and bicycles
00:20:39.940 have in common?
00:20:41.060 What?
00:20:41.880 They both...
00:20:42.440 They both work better
00:20:43.540 with chains on them.
00:20:44.900 Fuck, I fucked that up.
00:20:46.640 Sneeko, I understand
00:20:47.520 that CTE messed you up,
00:20:48.740 but my freestyles
00:20:49.540 are harder than yours.
00:20:50.940 I said...
00:20:51.940 I said...
00:20:52.660 That's not funny, though.
00:20:53.540 He got CTE, yeah.
00:20:55.480 And if he ever
00:20:56.460 stepped to me,
00:20:57.440 I'ma grab that
00:20:58.160 nine millimeters
00:20:59.200 hit it from my waistline,
00:21:01.260 yeah.
00:21:01.820 And then it's
00:21:02.420 ticking time,
00:21:03.260 bomb goes tick, tick.
00:21:04.860 That shit is over,
00:21:05.940 yeah, you gonna get hit.
00:21:08.000 Yeah.
00:21:09.980 Alright, let me finish the joke.
00:21:11.020 How do you pick up
00:21:11.540 a black girl to bar?
00:21:12.600 I'm sorry.
00:21:13.260 You're the only hen I see.
00:21:15.560 Hey, Sneeko,
00:21:16.360 are you biracial,
00:21:17.720 like, logic?
00:21:18.580 Oh, my bad.
00:21:19.420 Kevin...
00:21:19.720 What?
00:21:21.860 Why you haven't seen
00:21:22.860 a black guy
00:21:23.580 with Down syndrome?
00:21:25.080 Because God
00:21:26.080 cannot punish you twice.
00:21:29.900 Boo.
00:21:30.580 What's long
00:21:31.260 and slender
00:21:31.980 and brings kids?
00:21:34.340 A train to Auschwitz.
00:21:36.940 Boo.
00:21:38.260 Why did Rosa Parks
00:21:39.800 not get off the bus?
00:21:41.880 Because she's black.
00:21:44.180 I love BBC.
00:21:46.320 I love BBC.
00:21:48.500 There's a stereotype
00:21:49.380 white guys can't jump,
00:21:50.900 but they've never seen
00:21:51.740 footage of 9-11.
00:21:54.300 What do Sneeko
00:21:55.240 and all of his exes
00:21:56.120 have in common?
00:21:58.360 Nope.
00:22:00.560 Nope.
00:22:02.000 Boo.
00:22:02.860 Fuck you.
00:22:06.340 Lighten up, man.
00:22:07.400 Come on.
00:22:12.380 Take off the mask.
00:22:13.600 Take off the mask.
00:22:14.780 How does a black girl
00:22:23.480 tell if she's pregnant?
00:22:25.040 How?
00:22:26.600 When she pulls the tampon out
00:22:28.340 and all the cotton is picked.
00:22:32.340 That's the third time
00:22:33.520 I've heard that joke.
00:22:35.140 What do you call
00:22:36.000 a drunk Muslim?
00:22:37.340 What?
00:22:37.840 Moe Hammer.
00:22:38.400 What did you see
00:22:43.200 when you were in the corner?
00:22:46.940 Why does Sneeko
00:22:47.700 move to Miami
00:22:48.400 so we can buy a gun
00:22:49.560 and shoot fresh
00:22:50.160 in his dog?
00:22:51.860 True.
00:22:52.360 True.
00:22:52.660 Woo.
00:22:53.400 Woo.
00:22:54.140 Yeah.
00:23:00.120 Bro, get the fuck
00:23:01.360 off the stage.
00:23:04.040 Alright, so
00:23:04.680 what do you call
00:23:05.340 a gay person?
00:23:07.540 Someone that's
00:23:08.300 mentally unstable.
00:23:09.980 Yeah.
00:23:10.980 Woo.
00:23:11.980 Woo.
00:23:19.100 Why are you cheering?
00:23:19.980 Get off the fucking stage,
00:23:21.680 bum.
00:23:26.340 Why did the chicken
00:23:27.240 cross the road?
00:23:28.360 Why?
00:23:29.280 Because fresh as black ass
00:23:30.880 was chasing it
00:23:31.500 with a frying pan.
00:23:34.620 How do you get a gay dude
00:23:35.840 to have sex with a woman?
00:23:37.500 How?
00:23:38.340 Shit in her pussy.
00:23:45.020 Get off the stage.
00:23:45.820 It won't let me off.
00:23:46.740 Dude, it's like broken.
00:23:48.120 Get off the stage,
00:23:49.140 faggot.
00:23:49.540 I can't, bro.
00:23:50.500 I clicked it.
00:23:51.180 I clicked it.
00:23:51.660 I'm sitting here.
00:23:52.560 FUK YOU!
00:23:53.220 GET THE FUCK
00:23:53.860 OFF THE STAGE!
00:23:54.840 Don't kick me then.
00:23:55.460 Kick me for the fifth time then.
00:23:56.820 I can't get off.
00:23:58.900 How do you pick up
00:23:59.800 a Jewish girl
00:24:00.600 with a dustpan?
00:24:02.780 Bro!
00:24:04.340 Damn.
00:24:06.160 Womp womp.
00:24:11.820 Yo, what do Indians
00:24:12.940 love more than
00:24:13.680 poop and white women?
00:24:15.420 What?
00:24:16.200 Oh, burgers.
00:24:17.020 Tech support.
00:24:19.540 What did Fresh's mother see
00:24:22.200 after labor?
00:24:23.660 The beginning of time.
00:24:25.120 BOOM!
00:24:26.940 And I can't fucking
00:24:27.660 leave this
00:24:28.060 Why can't they?
00:24:30.340 Like more than anything.
00:24:32.500 Shit.
00:24:32.960 Shit.
00:24:34.180 Yeah.
00:24:34.500 Woo!
00:24:36.900 Keep going.
00:24:40.880 We love you.
00:24:44.180 Fuck you.
00:24:46.600 Yeah, fuck you, dude.
00:24:47.660 What is the whitest thing
00:24:49.040 about a black guy?
00:24:50.480 What?
00:24:51.140 His owner.
00:24:52.040 Oh my god, bro.
00:24:53.820 Oh my god.
00:24:54.480 Yo, I'm back, motherfucker.
00:24:55.920 What do Sneeko
00:24:56.600 and all of his exes
00:24:57.380 have in common?
00:25:00.420 They all look like Xena.
00:25:02.380 What's brown,
00:25:03.820 stinky,
00:25:04.320 and like seafood?
00:25:06.180 Neon.
00:25:06.660 I can't get off the stage, bro.
00:25:09.540 You actually kicked me in.
00:25:10.420 Fuck this thing.
00:25:12.620 Yo, fuck you, Sneeko, man.
00:25:14.500 Fuck you, man.
00:25:15.620 Fuck this guy, dude.
00:25:16.920 This guy's goofy as fuck, man.
00:25:19.120 Goofy as fuck, man.
00:25:20.500 Fuck this guy, man.
00:25:23.240 Neco, fix your fucking stage.
00:25:24.600 People can't get off the ground.
00:25:26.180 How do you fix it?
00:25:26.920 I don't know.
00:25:28.540 I have no idea.
00:25:29.700 You press alt.
00:25:32.100 F4.
00:25:33.980 Fuck you.
00:25:34.500 My bad, Sneeko.
00:25:37.900 My bad, Sneeko.
00:25:39.280 Windows out.
00:25:40.280 All right, I'm about to perform my song
00:25:41.800 for you, Sneeko.
00:25:43.640 And last time I couldn't get off the stage,
00:25:45.960 so hopefully I do.
00:25:46.640 But here it is.
00:25:55.800 Sneeko, I remember when you were a kid
00:25:57.520 in your room and you had an afro.
00:25:58.860 You were so cute back then.
00:26:01.760 Hey, does anyone else hear like Smash Mouth
00:26:04.140 just asking?
00:26:07.520 I'll smash in your mouth.
00:26:10.100 Ha ha!
00:26:17.980 None of you are funny.
00:26:20.220 Get off the stage, cucko!
00:26:24.920 Sneeko, none of us are funny,
00:26:26.380 but that's the exact same thing your dad said
00:26:28.620 because he left you.
00:26:29.400 My dad's still around, actually.
00:26:33.160 Oh the fuck, damn.
00:26:34.200 Does he fuck your wife?
00:26:38.500 Kick it all these fucks, bro.
00:26:40.480 What do you get when a Samoan lady
00:26:43.360 has kids with a black guy?
00:26:44.960 What?
00:26:46.280 Samo niggas.
00:26:47.180 Oh my god, bro.
00:26:49.260 What's big, black, and long?
00:26:53.560 The line at KFC.
00:26:55.440 Ha!
00:26:58.060 What's faster than the speed of light?
00:26:59.500 A G with a coupon.
00:27:04.960 Angie told Myron,
00:27:06.520 Honey, when are we having kids?
00:27:08.260 What did Myron say?
00:27:09.780 Hold on, baby.
00:27:10.700 I need to fuck 50 more women.
00:27:11.960 Ha ha ha ha ha!
00:27:14.580 Why does freshman CEO have a stutter?
00:27:16.560 Because Grant caught her and slapped him to her.
00:27:18.140 Ha ha ha!
00:27:19.340 What happens with an...
00:27:24.880 Ah, fuck.
00:27:27.800 Guys, what's dark and productive?
00:27:31.020 Black people on my field.
00:27:39.980 By the way, you know the people that you guys say are my exes
00:27:42.640 are not my exes?
00:27:43.400 They're just...
00:27:43.720 They're not, right?
00:27:44.780 Yeah, yeah, cheer.
00:27:46.140 Woo!
00:27:46.400 You're still a cuck.
00:27:47.120 You're still a cuck.
00:27:47.780 You're a cuck, bro.
00:27:48.580 You're gonna sit in the court.
00:27:49.440 I'm gonna beat the fuck out of you, faggot.
00:27:52.100 Hey, hey.
00:27:52.500 What did you see?
00:27:53.040 What did you see?
00:27:53.680 What camera angle was it?
00:27:55.900 I can't get off the stage anymore.
00:27:58.480 Yeah, bro.
00:27:58.960 That's how we see.
00:28:01.120 Okay, fine.
00:28:01.660 Wait.
00:28:01.820 While we're up here,
00:28:02.360 who do you think won so far?
00:28:04.920 Get off the stage, you pussy.
00:28:06.320 I can't get off.
00:28:07.060 It's stuck.
00:28:09.320 Stop yelling at me!
00:28:12.360 It's glitching!
00:28:13.220 The guy's a freestyle.
00:28:14.860 I got one.
00:28:16.640 Why can't we just get off?
00:28:18.220 I'm stuck.
00:28:23.160 Okay.
00:28:33.820 Bro, this is a good comedy night.
00:28:34.980 I can't lie, bro.
00:28:35.480 This is the best one.
00:28:36.200 This is the best one in a long time, man.
00:28:38.560 Hi, Sneeko.
00:28:40.400 What's up, balls?
00:28:41.300 You're a very handsome man, dude.
00:28:42.560 I would fuck the shit out of you, bro.
00:28:44.420 Yeah, you're very cute.
00:28:45.740 I'll let you, bro.
00:28:46.720 Thanks, dude.
00:28:47.380 Can I watch?
00:28:48.640 Guys, why is 6 afraid of 7?
00:28:51.380 Why?
00:28:51.820 Because he's black.
00:28:53.880 What's the difference between Walter Reed and Jake Future?
00:28:58.380 What?
00:28:58.980 Boo.
00:28:59.900 A pug!
00:29:00.460 I got another one.
00:29:05.740 Yo, Sneeko.
00:29:06.540 Xena.
00:29:09.140 What's the difference between Sneeko and Kim Kardashian?
00:29:12.920 Sneeko has a bigger ass.
00:29:15.900 What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew?
00:29:19.000 They both come back from the camp.
00:29:20.740 A girl got punched by a Jewish guy.
00:29:25.560 She couldn't tell who it was, so she just wrote down the number on his arm.
00:29:32.840 Boo.
00:29:34.360 Boo.
00:29:37.320 What was the score of the football game between Ethiopia and Spain?
00:29:40.980 Spain ate, Ethiopia didn't.
00:29:42.800 Myra needed a girlfriend.
00:29:51.720 What do you say?
00:29:53.500 I'm gay.
00:29:55.380 What do you call a G.I. Joe in the oven?
00:29:58.840 A G.I. Jew.
00:30:00.880 Ha!
00:30:02.240 What do you call a bi-person on fire?
00:30:04.440 L.G.B.B.Q.
00:30:08.580 Alright, fuck you, too.
00:30:09.600 Alright.
00:30:10.780 Fart noises.
00:30:12.800 What do you call a bunch of unfunny dumb faggots?
00:30:18.220 Love speech.
00:30:18.880 Us, us, us, us, us, us.
00:30:21.920 Yo, Sneeko, I'm 16 years old and fight MMA.
00:30:24.940 And I just want to say, honestly, I would be trashed after watching you fight Sean Strickland.
00:30:29.420 That was super embarrassing.
00:30:30.700 I'm sick.
00:30:31.800 He got his ass.
00:30:33.480 What do you call a one-person standing in a barn?
00:30:36.760 Antique farming equipment.
00:30:39.780 What do you call five black people in a line?
00:30:42.380 Target practice.
00:30:47.580 Sneeko, it's only 5,000 pounds.
00:30:49.580 I will fly out there and beat the shot of you with one arm.
00:30:53.300 What's the difference between a boomerang and a black father?
00:30:57.520 The boomerang comes back.
00:31:00.600 Sneeko, I know your viewers don't know this,
00:31:02.680 but you owe me 5,230.
00:31:08.380 What has 50 legs but can't walk 25 disabled people?
00:31:12.380 Fuck this.
00:31:13.040 We want Zerka, Sneeko.
00:31:14.440 Type of one if we want Zerka back.
00:31:16.100 Oh my god, dude.
00:31:17.620 But why aren't there any Indian boxers?
00:31:20.600 Because every time they go back to the corner,
00:31:22.360 they try to open a 7-11.
00:31:25.080 What do you call an Indian that boxers kick viewers?
00:31:28.920 Khajiit, aka.
00:31:29.820 I went to a disabled strip club the other day.
00:31:40.320 Place was crawling with pussy.
00:31:43.020 Ah!
00:31:43.580 What do you call a Chinese baby that was born early?
00:31:51.760 Wrong timing.
00:31:55.100 Sneeko, you're a fucking nigga, bro.
00:31:56.780 I hope you fucking die.
00:31:59.660 Oh my god.
00:32:00.580 What the?
00:32:01.220 Why are you here then?
00:32:02.140 What the fuck?
00:32:06.180 She needs that clad, that's why.
00:32:09.240 Keep typing one.
00:32:10.340 Keep typing one.
00:32:11.240 We want Zerka, we want Zerka.
00:32:13.580 What does the G in top G stand for?
00:32:18.660 Top Rifter.
00:32:19.700 Where else does Sneeko learn his tricks from?
00:32:23.460 W joke.
00:32:29.940 Oh my god, no.
00:32:31.980 What do you call 27 consecutive head shots?
00:32:35.840 CTE.
00:32:37.940 Why did Ryan Dawson get kicked out of Japan?
00:32:39.980 Because he shot Shinzo Abe.
00:32:41.600 What do you say to a black man in a suit?
00:32:45.940 Will a defendant please rise?
00:32:47.460 Okay.
00:32:47.960 What do you call a G with Parkinson's?
00:33:03.340 Shake and bake.
00:33:04.120 Call John right now.
00:33:12.380 Call him.
00:33:17.020 Why don't you just watch this stream?
00:33:18.720 Like, why do you want me to call him so bad?
00:33:20.120 I don't get it, bro.
00:33:20.840 He's fucking bad, you nigga.
00:33:22.120 What do you mean?
00:33:22.760 He's not bad from Rumble, dumb fuck.
00:33:24.640 Bro, you sound so retarded with your ass.
00:33:28.360 Oh, Nick.
00:33:37.500 Boo!
00:33:38.720 Fuck all of you.
00:33:40.440 Shut the fuck up.
00:33:41.240 Yo, why did Aiden Ross call Sneeko today?
00:33:43.980 Because he wants him to go to a party with Michael Rubin.
00:33:46.040 Is that a joke?
00:33:51.120 All right, give me a seat.
00:33:53.760 Okay, last round, chat.
00:33:55.040 Last round.
00:33:55.440 I'm still laughing right now.
00:33:56.340 I don't want to leave yet.
00:34:05.540 Bro, why are you guys fucking here just sitting in the corner watching?
00:34:08.380 Get on stage or say something.
00:34:09.840 You're just here to sit in the room.
00:34:10.980 We want to be like you.
00:34:12.220 We want to be like you.
00:34:12.860 Okay, okay.
00:34:13.460 But get on stage, faggot.
00:34:15.880 Wah, wah.
00:34:16.500 I've been on stage.
00:34:17.940 But all right, all right, all right.
00:34:21.940 What do you call an autistic black man?
00:34:24.360 Oh, my God.
00:34:25.560 Walter Weeks.
00:34:26.420 Yeah, okay.
00:34:27.300 All right, bro.
00:34:30.140 All right, it's cooked.
00:34:30.960 It's over.
00:34:32.420 Sneeko, you're a nigger.
00:34:33.800 All right, we're done.
00:34:35.560 W segment, bro.
00:34:36.500 That was the best monkey night in a long time, bro.
00:34:40.280 That was the best monkey night in a long time.
00:34:42.860 Good job, guys.