SNEAKO - August 16, 2023SNEAKO Reacts To Family Guy & South Parks Funniest Moments!
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
164.26572
Summary
In this episode of the show, we have a special guest on the show, Chad, who is the fastest Jew in the world. He is also a family guy guy, and a funny one!
Transcript
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wait actually a quick detour i want to watch this video now that we have this
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family guy jewish jokes first i have to read you the right for jewish people you have the
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right to remain silent even though you won't you have the right to infer an insult where
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none was intended what what's that supposed to mean you have the right to a lawyer who
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you are probably related to this interview is over ah chat delay audio delay audio what
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what one sec one second one second one sec don't leave okay we're back we're good we're good
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hold on i want to watch this family guy jewish jokes
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first i have to read wait type one of his good everything good do the miranda rights for jewish
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people you have the right to remain silent even though you won't you have the right to infer an
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insult where none was intended what's that supposed to mean you have the right to a lawyer who you are
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probably related to this interview is over what the basic eye centers will heal your eyes
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how much would you pay for laser eye surgery five hundred dollars seven hundred dollars ten
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thousand dollars how about twelve dollars dr lee feltsteen fully licensed fully trained fully jewish
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jewish so come on down to the hydrox arena this sunday sunday get your eyesight fixed unless you
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have the balls type of one of you are a family guy guy i was always family guy i've never really
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got it to south park like that family guy i think is what developed a lot of my sense of humor too
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this is just like my favorite cartoon of all time jewish oh god an angry mob i've got to swallow
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he's like you can't do this on tv anymore oh no we're done for no we're not i'm the fastest jew in
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can you what what sports it's i'm not saying i'm just if you can think about it you can think of a
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lot of what they do in other professions i can't name one
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dude what are you saying aiden ross what do you mean
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okay the first rule of jewish fight club is if somebody says ow you stop
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okay mort now if you want to get more customers i had like some of my closest friends when i was
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younger were jewish and they would all they would sound like this so much we would watch the show
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and then just make fun of them like i don't know if you had jewish friends like this
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but all my jewish friends for their hands were always so sweaty and they always had weird health
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problems like lactose intolerant or they had some like stomach bowel thing going on they were taking
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weird medication to eat foods and they were just like perspirating in the middle of the day
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it's like they just have the weirdest health problems okay let's see
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okay mort now if you want to get more customers in your pharmacy you're gonna have to do a promotion
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like like buy one get one free what buy one get one free huh buy one yeah i get that get one free
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huh is that like a spanish word no it's english the whole thing's english oh because it seems like
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you're saying the first part in english and then some kind of made up a full-on full-on for something
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in the second part i don't understand you said full-on full-on few all right let me try explaining it
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another way let's say where it's someone else's store and there's a sign and it says buy one get
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one free get one free wow what store are you talking about oh you'd rather have it down at the
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bank where the jewish guys can leer at it yeah money it's funny too because and this is actually
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how i developed a lot of the um the concept of the stream and everything i do seek truth through funny
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is because a lot of the this the early season were so stereotypical i think family guy humor
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is always based around stereotypes racist jokes but it's because a lot of it is is based in truth
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if i seek truth through funny developed from something like this because
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you start to notice patterns in real life like you first you see it in a cartoon
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and then you see the same traits and characteristics in people that you know in real life
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oh look there's all the jewish kids sitting on the rabbi's lap where he asks them for something
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i want a new tv and it can't be a vizio sony or samsung only and i need it all set up before i
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turn it on i don't want to have to do any of the things so where do jewish people think they go when
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they die where do you think we go but i don't know that's why i'm asking you why do you think you're
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asking all these questions i just i just really want to know what happens do you think that's part
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of god's infinite plan i think your whole religion is a sham just so you can get extra holidays off from
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work what oh gotta go it's book today you are a man great can i drive no can i vote no can i drink
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and instead of lasting for one day the oil in the lamp lasted for eight days and that is why we
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celebrate hanukkah yeah yeah yeah how long before we play pin the eviction notice on the black guy's
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door now does anyone have any questions yeah i have a question what are you gonna do when jesus
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comes back and puts a boot up your ass and it's also why many families give their children eight
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days of presents wait did she say eight days of presents yeah yeah this judaism thing is gonna
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be better than i thought all right class that's all for today's lesson now everyone off to gym
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that was easy and now wait did chat did anybody think i asked you can you name one jewish athlete
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did anybody name anybody the history channel presents american inventor the true story of henry ford
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this is my jew flattening machine it'll flatten any jew simply climb behind the wheel drive it
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towards the jew and flatten them could you also use it just to drive from place to place and stuff
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no it's a jew flattening machine it's not what it's designed for but you could use it that way
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yeah yeah you could yeah yeah you could also use the mona lisa as a placemat god hey how about all
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those coupons in the sunday paper huh some good deals there hey you know i went into a store last
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week and they wanted 800 bucks for a tv but i ushed them down to 500
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thank you brian that was the last munich gunman you're a hero a hero i guess i am a hero wait
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someone said uh paul baird you craig ufc fighter there's a ufc fighter okay who is that what do you
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mean lebron james why would you say that oh nice wonderful we are gonna throw you the craziest
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party do we have a hot two liter of closet pepsi we do and i can bring planters peanuts that were
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opened a dozen years ago perfect and i have half a graduation cake we just have to let thor
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party a jewish party with lots of old food in a fully lit room shalom everyone welcome to the
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christening now before the child goes in the water has it been at least 20 minutes since she ate yes
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rabbi wonderful then let's dunk this kid like a donut i hereby christen this child in the name of
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jesus christ who was killed by we don't know who it's not important the last thing we want to do is
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point fingers can you please take my daughter out what the hats wait water sorry congratulations
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sweetie you're a christian from now on every sunday you get to eat a hard cookie and pretend it's a guy
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whoa whoa christians are you gonna take that you're just gonna let you're just gonna let that rabbi
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make fun of your crackers okay now to balance it out family guy um muslim jokes
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okay i don't even remember it's just gonna be all terrorist jokes right it's just gonna be
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this is gonna be bombing jokes daddy where's santa was he killed by muslims oh my god poor stewie
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he's so disappointed your family is gone would you mind if we turn on the tv oh hey i didn't know
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anyone was here i uh i was just kidding when i told my family i loved them i am mahmoud i'm peter
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and i never seen a hat like that before so i'm very scared of it no this is just a tagheer
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it's a traditional muslim prayer cap oh hey you know who'd look funny wearing one of those
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the monopoly guy correct go directly to jail and convert to islam
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because they do that what that is true yes that is what i intended
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hey you're all right mahmoud you too peter so uh what do you want to watch well if you
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turn on channel 14 we can probably catch the end of muslim looney tunes
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as a pig i am very dirty and should not be touched by humans
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hey guys come on let's get the man a drink what are you having
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how about the ginger ale but if you'll excuse me right now i have to go bring great shame to myself
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oh he's weird well why do you order a ginger ale and who the hell doesn't look at jugs
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yeah and he's got a cell phone clipped to his belt like he's some kind of big shot on vacation
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oh i see what's going on you guys are uncomfortable with mahmoud because he's muslim
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what what are you talking about this is your post 9 11 racism talking i for one
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think it's great that peter has enough of an open mind to have a muslim friend
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you know a lot of dogs just sit outside tied to poles
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look mahmoud's my friend okay so he's muslim every culture has its quirks
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peter where are you going and why are you dressed like that well lois i happen to be a muslim now
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which means i'll be spending a lot of my time in mostly empty cafes
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chat why are you saying that that was a destiny to take was brian a liberal
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i never understood it because sometimes he'll say things that are like kind of racist and then he
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plays middle ground he's kind of libertarian i never really understood what his political
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something they would make fun of him as a democrat but the idea of a liberal that a democrat
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has changed so much even since this show was like really popular watching soccer on an eight inch
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black and white tv all right lois i'm off to the bazaar what do you mean you mean the market
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yeah the bazaar well if you're going to the market can you pick up some cereal some butter and a loaf
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of bread i'll see what they have all right lois here's six cobras a bolt of silk and a ram's horn
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peter what the hell hey can you help me with the 20 paper bags of dates i got in the car
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why the hell would you get 20 bags of dates the monkey in the little vest who was selling them
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happen to be very persuasive you know i have just moroccans i don't know if that's like muslim
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culture i have to say peter i am impressed by how much you have committed yourself to islam
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are you kidding it's awesome i even started wearing leather sandals with way too long toenails
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see how big ones are getting yellow oh yes very muslim i told you look at him he's the perfect man to
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my mood says we all need to act like we're fans of american football so we seem less
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suspicious what what are you talking about i'm talking about my mood you know i actually feel
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really bad for him you know he knew 19 guys who died on 9-11 i mean what are the odds
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i think you joined a terrorist sleeper cell what that's crazy look i'm gonna call my mood right
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now on this cell phone he gave me he'll tell you
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peter please stop trying to call my mood this is very serious your friends are terrorists
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they're meeting in secret they're creating comfort stories oh my god you're right see i told you my
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mood was bad news those guys are all bad news hang on there quagmire just because these few guys are
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terrorists doesn't mean all muslims are every ethnic group has their nut jobs great job peter
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thanks to you 30 terrorists are behind bars and every middle class arab in this town is now under
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suspicion i thought it was going to be a twist joke where it finds out that peter was just misled
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and that it's actually not a terrorist group was their depiction of muslims in the show just
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they ended up becoming terrorists the jewish jokes are like oh quirky little jokes but they
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ended up actually becoming like hard money lenders it was like cutaways the plot point and family
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got from muslims was like actually they're isis so what happens next do those guys all get trials
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well you know some of them it's it's it's it's the process well it's straight to guantanamo bay
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thing is worthless like my palestinian alarm clock
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death to america and butter sauce don't boil me
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i'm still alive i say ahmed what what is that thing you people do when when you're about to
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this is insanity i go in store i throw backpack big boom no no you are big boom big hero okay right
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so i throw backpack come back and have big hero party with many virgins no no no no no you boom oh
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okay okay okay i put on backpack boom then i come back big hero virgin okay yeah see you in a few
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before you do anything for god's sake put some clothes on ryan calm down in some countries this is
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oh please come on it's just something i threw together what what culture is that
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chad wait i didn't i didn't do i have to do that to my wife
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um hey thanks for taking me out to dinner ryan but i gotta say this food looks a little weird
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oh peter moroccan food is the jizz i don't know looks like it might give me the kind of farts i get
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i found us a ride to quahog in the back of a truck hurry
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ah thank god come on let's head home before stewie gets hurt like fozzy bear when he went to
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saudi arabia uh it's good to worship allah because i used to worship summer waka waka
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i once knew a guy who was so arab how arab was he uh he was so arab that everybody liked him
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and there was nothing funny about him at all like driving around getting into incidents with other
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motorists i'm saying stinko stay out of the way you old bat asian not all asians are bad drivers no
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no not all terrorists are arab but you know they are huh so you guys hear about that new kid the emo
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muslim ah death to america thank you brian that brings me peace in this hour i'll be with allah
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soon what uh yeah he doesn't know what he's saying he's delirious look you better get moving all
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right stewie let's go get the sleigh ready anyone else a little freaked out by that allah thing never
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mind that let's just get going okay yeah okay back to the club do you want to see more family guy
00:16:36.140
this is this is pretty much your sense of humor chat there was more uh wait there's a family guy
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trying not to laugh should we try that i've never done a try not to laugh before you think i could do
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it it's not that long wait okay fine fine wait we'll go back to the clips actually i kind of want to try
00:16:51.260
this i kind of want to try this thanks for the five watch how to become a cult leader and how to
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become a tyrant on netflix it'll help you out learn about put it in the discord more more more okay you
00:17:03.100
guys one more all right this is family guy try not to laugh okay fine
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okay 10 push-ups every laugh i faked my own death once
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no dentist appointment for this guy hi everybody hello colonel tush finger i just built a spaceship
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want to come up in space with me in it whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa cut cut cut cleveland
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what are you doing i just figured i'd give colonel tush finger an australian thing colonel tush finger
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lives on the moon you idiot he talks with a moon accent you know he talks like this with a moon accent
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you understand i am colonel tush finger and i live on the moon so i talk like this with a moon
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accent do that okay my great uncle wears a ski hat all the time griffin will be followed by nick
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nolte's handkerchief followed by japanese abe lincoln and then monkey rabbi hey where's the monkey
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rabbi here's your torah you'll be here on tuesday at nine check in house wait you're gonna need me this
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week ah maybe maybe friday uh now where are the gays over here no no the really cartoony gays
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yo there you are we're gonna need you guys all week a palette am i am i reading this right you
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need a palette of chocolate covered pretzels where where where where the hell am i supposed to what
00:18:51.740
is this a drum of grape jam is that what is it is that like a drum like they ship oil in is that
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look at this one a desk of cheese it's a desk where where are you getting these units of measurement
00:19:05.260
from mary that is still funny okay you stay right here big funny gal i'll be right back with
00:19:13.900
a hammock of cake okay four pizzas and a salad salad how do you make a salad first you throw in
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the whole head of lettuce even the hard to eat white part at the bottom that's what the people want now
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what else i got a can of whole black olives should i slice them up what are you crazy no you keep them
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whole you're gonna want to know you've got an olive in your mouth what about this tomato cut it into
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thirds it should be big enough to pretend you've got red teeth how about this carrot should i cut it
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up yes but very thin lengthwise the whole length of the carrot one thin slice okay what else do we
00:19:43.580
got well we got these hot peppers but you can't really eat them no problem dump them all in now
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should we put it in a bowl no let's put it in a lasagna tray okay great i'll take it oh and make sure
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to stick it right on top of the pizza so it stays nice and warm hello every pizza place
00:20:06.300
wow dad you're up early yep it's a mustache kind of morning chris i watched the sunrise in my jeans
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jean shirt and jean jacket gosh mustache culture is pretty cool you betcha son i'm gonna make you
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some hash browns for breakfast and then later i'm gonna take you down to the whorehouse to lose your
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virginity would you like that would i okay i'm expecting a very important delivery at the house so
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could you please call me if it arrives i'll give you my cell number okay yes no problem give me
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number okay 401-555-1125 four four zero four four zero no i was just repeating the four one four one four
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four all right let's start over four zero one four zero zero one one one four zero one yes five five five
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five five five five that was painless okay one one two five one one two five there you go you got it one
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one five five five what you say one one two five one five five no not one one and two fives two ones
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two one one one one two five oh my god okay how many one i'm not giving you quantities of the numbers
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i'm giving you the numbers one one two five those are the last four numbers okay one one one one one
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one one two two five five oh i see one one two five yes one one two five all right now read the number
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back to me let me get my pen well you'll always be a big shot in this family sweetheart thanks honey and i got a
00:22:12.540
little surprise for you in that contract you signed you got to keep the corporate plane yeah
00:22:23.580
peter how are you doing that i don't i don't know lois i'm scared well come down i can't i i get help
00:22:29.980
call somebody who do i call i i don't know a police a fire a scientist call a scientist okay you can stay
00:22:37.180
here with your father i'm gonna go find a scientist am i gonna die you think he's dead i don't know hey
00:22:46.540
hey buddy what's his name uh something spanishy i think it starts with a g
00:22:53.580
gur gu gu gu gu gu gu gardo yeah that's it gu gardo that doesn't sound like any name
00:23:00.860
well sure it does gu gu gu gugu-자를 say something if you're okay gu gu gu gu gu kadın
00:23:04.540
the more you say it the more it doesn't sound like anything gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu
00:23:17.980
gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu gu
00:23:19.420
jacket. Oh yeah, his name was Frank. Brian, look what I won. Wow, what'd you win that for? For having
00:23:25.780
the best pig in the competition. Wait, you bred a pig? Sure did. Most genetically perfect one in
00:23:30.740
the contest. Oink. Oh my god. Yes, he's something, isn't he? Are those fists? Damn right, show him, pig.
00:23:38.500
Tacos, hot tacos here. Oh, are those tacos? You better believe they're tacos. I love tacos,
00:23:45.400
especially on a corn tortilla. Oh, I love tacos on a corn tortilla. Okay, Peter, this is for the win.
00:23:53.500
Say the word, what? Oh, wow. Okay, um, this really separates the men from the boys.
00:24:07.460
Peter, just say what? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, Lois, Lois, this is not a race.
00:24:11.960
Um, okay, I want to say who. Uh, boy, uh, Fantastic Four, Fantastic Four, uh, steak, steak,
00:24:23.580
steak, steak, and a small amount of peas. Um, is it what? That's right, you win, Peter, you did it.
00:24:31.220
God, this is such an East Coast pharmacy. How are we gonna find gauze and bandages in the middle of
00:24:35.400
all this crap? Uh, I think he keeps him next to the thousand-piece puzzle of a lobster trap.
00:24:39.560
I don't see it. You mean next to the Kodima paddles or next to the basic black sweatshirt with
00:24:44.020
no writing on it? No, I think they're over there between the rain ponchos and the cap guns and just
00:24:48.520
below the balsa wood gliders and the net bag of flip-flops and a beach pail. Above the set of jacks?
00:24:53.480
Yes, above the jacks and the bicentennial playing cards and across from the giant cage with the beach
00:24:58.680
balls next to the wiffle ball bats and the spark spitting cars. I don't, oh, next to the wax bottles
00:25:03.520
of weird juice. Yes, behind the plastic bag of Mexican soldiers from the Alamo and the super elastic bubble
00:25:10.260
You'll never have to wear a condom when you do it with your wife. Or anyone else you do it with,
00:25:20.420
we promise not to tell. Like that new hot chick at work, you know, the one who always has high
00:25:26.640
beams under a ribbed white cotton t-shirt, but then stares daggers at you for checking her out.
00:25:32.680
And it's like, why do you wear that if you don't want attention? But you know you shouldn't think that
00:25:38.300
way because of the sexual harassment meeting you all had to go to? Seriously? How lame was that?
00:25:45.300
And you couldn't help but notice that the female lawyer running the seminar had a huge rack?
00:25:51.020
Like ridiculously huge for someone who has to talk about that kind of stuff?
00:25:56.040
Well, I guess that's the definition of the word irony.
00:26:00.040
Well, that's it. Three days wasted looking through 200,000 lottery tickets.
00:26:07.040
Those weren't the lottery tickets. That was a test. These are the lottery tickets.
00:26:15.680
Yes. These aren't the real lottery tickets either. These are the real lottery tickets.
00:26:20.000
So, in addition to buying 200,000 lottery tickets, you had 400,000 fake ones printed up?
00:26:34.200
Okay, Chad, I'm not going to laugh anymore. I can't even...
00:26:36.180
I was enjoying watching this video. Bro, everybody in the fucking chat, everybody sucks here.
00:26:42.820
Can I watch a video for five seconds before you, like, you retards need attention again?
00:26:46.300
Okay, we're back to the clips. Back to the clips.
00:26:53.300
The pigwood almost got me, I'm not going to lie.
00:26:58.440
I've always seen Family Guy in South Park shows his white trash.
00:27:02.800
The type of one of you likes South Park better than Family Guy.
00:27:04.940
Does everybody in here like South Park that much better than Family Guy?
00:27:16.780
Bro, I just come to accept that you guys are going to, like, yell tomatoes and put skip for everything.
00:27:27.120
We'll watch the new It's Complicated video, too.
00:28:02.580
Be Spider-Man with your bro, or feed the kids in Africa.
00:28:16.320
Get married to an Indian for the rest of your life, or stay a virgin forever.
00:28:26.980
Be rich with your best friends, or be rich with the first person who appears when you
00:28:37.860
Earn $10,000 every month for the rest of your life, or have $1 million right now.
00:28:43.820
$10,000 every month for the rest of my life, or $1 million right now.
00:28:50.340
I think $10,000 every month for the rest of my life.
00:29:05.300
I'm not that much of a fucking nerd like you guys.
00:29:26.400
Your barber really messes up your haircut like that?
00:29:41.760
That's why you can't trust a new barber, especially before the first day of school.
00:30:13.460
Apparently, it's really her in the apology video by looking at her tattoo.
00:30:17.520
So, you know how easy it is to get a sharpie and draw that shit in?
00:30:21.740
That's definitely, that motherfucker is not real in the second one.
00:30:27.740
Unless she lost 30 pounds and gained 10, she got 10 years older in that time.
00:30:34.840
Do not make comments and listen, because the questions you're asking are what I have just-
00:30:45.100
What about all the victims that the FBI have evidence to report that he did kill?
00:30:51.080
The only reason King Vaughn got out of jail is because all the witnesses in the murder case
00:31:11.640
And King Vaughn kept talking about smoking on Tuka.
00:31:19.660
So, while you sympathize with the killers, I empathize with the victims' families.
00:31:27.340
Didn't Aiden ban Charleston White from ever coming on kick?
00:31:45.000
To try the comparison, are you guys going to throw tomatoes the entire time?
00:32:16.580
But I hope you understand the faculty didn't really have a choice.
00:32:22.160
Well, I think you're being very mature about this, Eric.
00:32:24.360
It was an overly generous move for you to give all the faculty those cupcakes.
00:33:12.440
Children, let's start the day with a few new math problems.
00:33:23.780
Okay, now let's try to get an answer from someone who's not a complete retard.
00:33:39.920
You can't say fuck in school, you fucking fat ass.
00:33:49.820
How would you like to go see the school counselor?
00:34:00.100
This is immediately the worst video I've ever seen just because of this fucking edit.
00:34:29.280
And if you say you had sex with his mom one more time, I'm going to really let you have it.
00:35:44.460
You know, I think you and I got off on the wrong foot the other day.
00:35:48.460
You see, I'm not going to accept four days of detention,
00:35:51.340
and you're going to apologize publicly for being so strict to me and my friends at SKU.
00:36:00.000
Oh, you seem to have dropped something, PC principal.
00:36:08.920
PC principal, you have Butter's underwear, and now...
00:36:27.100
You're associating Italian-Americans to intimidation tactics?
00:36:33.160
Okay, look, you don't want to end up like the spokesman for Subway, do you?
00:36:36.680
Did you just use a term that excludes women from an occupation?
00:36:41.340
Did you just say spokesman instead of spokesperson when women are just as capable of selling
00:36:49.620
Are you purposefully trying to use words that assert your male privilege?
00:36:54.600
I was just trying to frame you for raping Butters.
00:36:56.160
Do you think Italian-Americans and women are less important?
00:36:59.220
You dare to use words that alienate two communities of people who have to deal with verbal biases
00:37:17.320
Butters, whatever is troubling you, this isn't the answer.
00:37:20.440
Look at all these people who've come out for you.
00:37:22.200
Just come down now, son, and we promise we won't ground you for more than a couple weeks.
00:37:52.200
Draw the, um, you gotta draw the nipples like on the bottom of my ass cheeks.
00:37:58.060
Yeah, but Stan's mom is, oh, that means her nipples sag more to the bottom now.
00:38:37.040
This is what you think is better than Family Guy?
00:38:41.920
What I'm talking about might save your life someday, okay?