SNEAKO - March 13, 2024


SNEAKO Reacts To John Cena Selling His Soul


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

147.63652

Word Count

1,596

Sentence Count

206

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

18


Summary


Transcript

00:00:00.000 A saver a day keeps the day away.
00:00:13.000 Tonight is the 50th anniversary of what used to be the craziest moment in Oscar history.
00:00:20.000 At the 46th Academy Awards in 1974, David Niven was in the middle of introducing Elizabeth Taylor.
00:00:26.680 Chad, do you get Epstein's Island vibes from this guy?
00:00:31.280 Something, do you, I don't know.
00:00:33.140 I look at him and I'm like, you ate some babies, bro.
00:00:36.280 Put one if Jimmy Kimmel, if you think Jimmy Kimmel ate babies.
00:00:39.980 I don't have any proof.
00:00:41.560 Don't sue me.
00:00:42.420 I'm just saying based off the way you act and where you are all the time.
00:00:46.580 And if I was a, if I could bet, I would put money that you ate a baby before Jimmy Kimmel.
00:00:50.860 I don't care if this guy's clipped and you see it.
00:00:52.160 I don't.
00:00:52.740 I don't care if I'm never going to get it on ABC.
00:00:54.400 You give me baby eating vibes.
00:00:58.160 David Niven was in the middle of introducing Elizabeth Taylor when a nude man, a shrieker, ran across the stage.
00:01:07.780 Sigh up, probably.
00:01:09.980 Can you imagine if a nude man ran across the stage today?
00:01:15.720 I said, can you imagine if a nude man ran across the stage today?
00:01:24.400 Wouldn't that be crazy?
00:01:27.680 Psst.
00:01:29.320 Psst, Jimmy.
00:01:30.940 What?
00:01:31.960 I can't come there.
00:01:33.200 Do the thing.
00:01:35.120 Ready for him to get 10 more Hollywood movies after this?
00:01:38.160 Give me for a second.
00:01:39.980 What's going on?
00:01:41.020 You're supposed to run across the stage.
00:01:43.240 I changed my mind.
00:01:45.060 I don't want to do the streaker bit anymore.
00:01:46.460 What do you mean you don't want to do the streaker bit anymore?
00:01:49.420 We're doing it.
00:01:50.260 I just don't feel right about it, man.
00:01:51.400 This is an elegant event.
00:01:53.300 Yeah, we know it's scripted, obviously, bro.
00:01:54.560 You should feel shame right now for suggesting such a tasteless idea.
00:01:58.000 Oh, it's supposed to be funny.
00:02:00.260 The male body is not a joke.
00:02:01.820 Mine is.
00:02:02.440 No, it's not.
00:02:06.020 You wrestle naked.
00:02:07.540 Why not?
00:02:08.300 Dude, I don't wrestle naked.
00:02:09.600 I wrestle in jorts.
00:02:11.780 Jorts are worse than naked.
00:02:15.020 Come on.
00:02:17.720 You're really not going to do this?
00:02:19.900 Fine.
00:02:20.220 Just give out the award, then.
00:02:21.460 God.
00:02:22.480 The worst.
00:02:23.100 It's really incredible what gets a round of applause from these people.
00:02:45.680 There's a lot of things you could say about this.
00:02:47.060 Like, very obviously, it's a humiliation ritual.
00:02:48.920 Very obviously, he's going to get 15 Hollywood movies after this.
00:02:51.920 But I think, like, the bigger picture is, like, this guy used to be the image of masculinity for a lot of kids.
00:02:59.060 People with Down syndrome love John Cena.
00:03:01.180 Like, white kids love John Cena.
00:03:04.260 Because he's buff and stuff like that.
00:03:05.840 He does WWE.
00:03:09.380 Fripples donated $10.
00:03:11.600 Great point.
00:03:11.960 Notice how they targeted someone who kids look up to.
00:03:15.060 Exactly.
00:03:16.040 They find one of the biggest role models and they get him to do this.
00:03:18.860 And then he's going to influence so many people to do the same.
00:03:22.500 They got another one.
00:03:30.020 Like, what's funny about this?
00:03:31.500 Like, I don't even understand why people are, like, a guy's naked on stage.
00:03:34.880 What's funny?
00:03:36.100 What's the funny part about this?
00:03:38.180 Like, but...
00:03:40.420 What I really...
00:03:42.060 What I know...
00:03:42.560 I've never liked John Cena.
00:03:44.200 I never got the hype.
00:03:45.320 Like, everyone, like, dick sucks this dude because he's famous.
00:03:47.780 It's like, oh, I can't see him.
00:03:49.080 I remember he, like, used to read Reddit all the time.
00:03:51.340 And that was, like, one of the most common jokes.
00:03:52.860 Like, oh, he's invisible.
00:03:55.680 Yeah, actually, I can see him.
00:03:57.580 I can.
00:03:58.360 He's right there.
00:03:59.240 I don't need to pretend I'm not in on this stupid joke.
00:04:01.660 I don't care about WWE.
00:04:03.460 Fake wrestling is gay.
00:04:05.280 It's stupid.
00:04:05.980 All of this is stupid.
00:04:07.360 It's not funny.
00:04:08.200 He's right there.
00:04:09.240 He's an old guy who's addicted to attention who will literally do anything to get another Hollywood movie.
00:04:13.860 And I got to act like this guy's cool.
00:04:16.020 I love John...
00:04:16.660 No, I don't love John Cena.
00:04:18.000 I don't care about this guy.
00:04:19.240 Can we stop pretending like this guy's cool?
00:04:26.480 Costumes.
00:04:30.800 Like, bro, like, like, name...
00:04:32.220 Like, I don't get why this guy is seen...
00:04:34.980 Do you remember...
00:04:35.840 This guy is so loved by the American people.
00:04:38.520 When Osama Bin Laden...
00:04:39.960 I don't like mine!
00:04:41.160 ...was allegedly behind 9-11 when he was responsible and when he was allegedly assassinated.
00:04:46.320 He was the one to announce it during a WWE match.
00:04:49.480 Do you remember that?
00:04:49.960 I'm going to pull it up now.
00:04:51.620 John Cena was the one to be like,
00:04:53.520 Ladies and gentlemen, Osama Bin Laden has been terminated.
00:04:59.860 That's how beloved he is.
00:05:00.880 I walk out here every night with hustle, loyalty, respect on my sleeve.
00:05:06.520 They chose this guy to be the representative of white males in America.
00:05:12.720 That is a credo I have adopted for the men and women who defend the freedom of this country.
00:05:23.960 Yo, can I be honest?
00:05:25.060 Can I be honest?
00:05:25.740 I feel bad because, like, Myron loves WWE and, like, a lot of, like...
00:05:29.000 I have a lot of friends who like this shit.
00:05:30.160 I think WWE fake wrestling is the most retarded shit ever.
00:05:34.820 I think it's, like, it cannot be...
00:05:37.400 It's as stupid as watching golf.
00:05:39.300 Why does anyone like this?
00:05:41.280 I don't get the appeal.
00:05:43.620 Whoa!
00:05:44.220 Like, am I the only one?
00:05:46.360 Because I pretended to think it's cool for a long time because I have a lot of friends who like it too.
00:05:49.880 It's so...
00:05:50.540 It's just...
00:05:51.200 It's fake.
00:05:52.680 It's so...
00:05:53.000 Like, why...
00:05:54.160 I'm gay?
00:05:55.640 It's low IQ?
00:05:56.500 It's mid?
00:05:58.420 Bro...
00:06:00.160 Facts.
00:06:01.500 I thought it was real.
00:06:02.280 You...
00:06:02.560 Like, I...
00:06:03.020 At no age did I ever think it was real.
00:06:05.180 Why not just watch...
00:06:06.000 Watch the UF...
00:06:06.980 Why not watch MMA?
00:06:08.520 Like, actual fighting.
00:06:09.980 You need to see the slams and the skirts and the Punisher and they're waking up from the dead.
00:06:13.980 And John Cena would do this.
00:06:15.480 We have caught and compromised to a permanent end, Osama Bin Laden.
00:06:23.940 Like, nigga, what do you mean we?
00:06:26.460 What do you mean...
00:06:27.380 ...compromised to a permanent...
00:06:28.880 We have caught...
00:06:30.380 You didn't do anything.
00:06:32.020 You didn't do anything.
00:06:33.020 You're naked and you do fake wrestling.
00:06:35.320 You do humiliation rituals for Hollywood movies.
00:06:37.660 You are not part of the Navy SEALs, John Cena.
00:06:40.420 Why does everybody clap about this?
00:06:41.880 It's because he's the symbol for, like, American freedom.
00:06:45.800 They picked this guy as the trucker, American...
00:06:49.120 Yeah.
00:06:50.140 So much so that he can confidently stand up and announce the alleged murder of Osama Bin Laden
00:06:54.840 and get everybody to cheer like he did something.
00:06:56.940 Bro, he's never held a...
00:06:58.280 He's never been in the field.
00:07:00.080 And compromise...
00:07:04.000 You're a city, you're a city, John Cena.
00:07:06.460 Just like me.
00:07:07.720 And just like you, chat.
00:07:09.760 Civilian.
00:07:11.360 To a permanent end, Osama Bin Laden.
00:07:18.000 And look at all these low-IQ whites, bro.
00:07:19.940 This is why white people are getting stompled all over by migrants.
00:07:23.040 Because you guys are like,
00:07:24.100 Well, while your country gets ruined in real time.
00:07:29.660 Because white people are going to these fake sports and things.
00:07:33.480 How are you letting this happen?
00:07:37.580 How are you here?
00:07:39.740 While your country gets ruined and taken over.
00:07:41.840 USA!
00:07:55.600 USA!
00:07:56.500 And outside the stadium, like,
00:07:57.840 the fucking Pablo and Juan are jumping over the fence.
00:08:02.660 Migrants are rushing in to take over the hotels.
00:08:06.640 USA!
00:08:07.680 John Cena!
00:08:08.760 John Cena!
00:08:09.520 And he's just been paid off by foreign interests to go and lie.
00:08:18.640 He's pretending to have a Southern accent to appeal to these low-IQ Southern whites.
00:08:23.100 Osama Bin Laden.
00:08:24.700 We have compromised.
00:08:27.120 And put an end.
00:08:29.160 Where are you from?
00:08:31.500 You've been in Los Angeles for 30 years.
00:08:33.640 Stop trying to sound like a hick.
00:08:35.340 You don't have an incest family.
00:08:36.840 You live in a gated community.
00:08:39.520 He speaks Chinese just like you.
00:08:50.280 Yeah, I'm sure he has a high-IQ.
00:08:52.080 I'm sure he's a smart guy.
00:08:53.220 But he's playing into the dumb, retarded, low-IQ white thing.
00:08:56.700 The woo!
00:08:57.960 Woo!
00:08:58.160 So for this WWE shit, he knows better than that.
00:09:01.500 He doesn't sound like this.
00:09:02.720 He just wants to get cheers from these, like, fat dads drinking beers.
00:09:05.880 This is something tonight.
00:09:09.080 But I feel damn proud to be an American.
00:09:11.780 And I'm proud to be an American.
00:09:18.260 That sells out to Israel.
00:09:22.800 And I get naked on the stage for a couple of Hollywood Jews.
00:09:29.100 And I just stand up next to you.
00:09:33.260 And a Jew, and a Jew, and a Jew.
00:09:35.620 Because I'm proud to be an American.
00:09:41.380 God bless the Jew, USA!
00:09:45.380 They are so important.
00:09:52.580 Maybe the most important thing there is.
00:09:57.060 I can't open the envelope without the...
00:09:59.380 Oh, my God.
00:10:02.480 The nominees for Best Costume Design are...
00:10:05.380 Oh, John Cena!
00:10:09.780 All right.
00:10:10.140 You know what?
00:10:10.740 So put a stamp on this.
00:10:11.580 I'm gonna clip it.
00:10:13.260 Nobody is allowed to make the John Cena invisible joke anymore.
00:10:16.400 It's not funny anymore.
00:10:17.520 It never was funny.
00:10:18.820 We gotta stop pretending like the WWE is cool.
00:10:21.280 It's over.
00:10:22.240 John Cena buried it.
00:10:23.580 I've seen him the whole time.
00:10:24.740 I see right there.
00:10:25.640 He's a 45-year-old man.
00:10:27.140 Maybe 50.
00:10:28.020 Who's addicted to movies and is never gonna change.
00:10:30.560 Who will clearly do anything for fame.
00:10:32.300 It's sad.
00:10:33.520 I see him.
00:10:35.380 I've always seen him.
00:10:37.040 And I don't like wrestling.
00:10:38.220 Can I be the...
00:10:38.820 Can I just...
00:10:39.720 All right.
00:10:40.400 What's the other sport that I don't like?
00:10:42.100 NASCAR?
00:10:42.720 Like, well, I mean...
00:10:43.600 I mean, yeah, bro.
00:10:44.460 Like, NASCAR.
00:10:45.840 I'm just hating right now.
00:10:47.460 I'm just being a hater right now.