SNEAKO - SNEAKO's Full Conversation With A Therapist!

00:00:00.000 all right hi everybody nice to meet your name is elsa elsa like frozen

00:00:04.880 like frozen so today after all the therapy i'm going to let it go i like it look at you

00:00:16.880 i don't think i believe that is it no it's not that's the that's the name that most people call

00:00:21.440 me hubie but just call me sneko and sneko's good hubie where did that come from from hubert it's

00:00:26.400 like a but it is your real name hubert yeah sneko how are you doing good doing good all right

00:00:34.880 well how are you you got here fine it's the hurricane's not too bad people are wondering

00:00:38.240 about the hurricane was non-existent here i think you know um we did a poor job of separating what

00:00:45.440 happened in the areas that were affected which was actually gonna happen to us okay i'm glad we're

00:00:50.640 okay and i do feel for all the victims impacted by it but it didn't even rain here no not at all

00:00:57.760 are you from miami um no actually i'm from venezuela originally but i've been here for a little bit

00:01:04.400 i know some venezuelan lingo but it's like vulgar so yeah let's hear one let's see

00:01:10.080 uh my friend would always say marico marico that's good which means it's a slur that's probably not

00:01:15.680 great for twitch but speaking of twitch is a is it does everything can you guys see where do i look

00:01:20.800 by the way there's so much stuff here um just you can look at me or wherever when i'm not looking

00:01:26.400 at you i look at okay whatever it doesn't matter it's just imagine that it's not there it's a little

00:01:30.880 bright but it's because it's the middle of the day right now okay um but yeah so basically i just

00:01:36.560 started streaming on this website called twitch okay um i've been streaming on rumble for two years

00:01:41.760 okay and rumble is a place where a lot of band creators go if you get banned and so are you a

00:01:48.640 musician no not like band like drum band like canceled oh band yeah okay okay i thought like

00:01:55.680 band okay no i'm not similar no yeah it's the same word but i'm not much of a musician okay that's

00:02:02.240 why i was yeah yeah trying to make sense of that so twitch like the mainstream so rumble you go to

00:02:06.800 when you're canceled or well i mean it's a free speech platform so okay i mean anybody can

00:02:11.680 go there but it tends to be people that have gotten canceled oh wow that's such interesting

00:02:17.200 branding well that's not the way that they would promote it but that's the way they promote it

00:02:21.280 they would say it's a free speech platform okay but what's interesting is that we're equating free

00:02:25.760 speech to being canceled yeah yeah that's unfortunate well because the mainstream platforms like twitch

00:02:30.720 for example the one we're on does not have uh well there's no free speech on twitch i think it makes

00:02:36.560 you wonder what free speech means in the first place it should you know can free speech be

00:02:41.760 respectful and can it be truthful and not hurtful you know it's interesting to think about i don't

00:02:47.280 think so i i think uh free speech is gonna hurt some people's feelings all the time do you like the

00:02:52.160 setup here the halloween decoration yeah spiders yeah yeah i just walked in straight i'm like

00:03:00.320 getting my grounding yeah yeah i know i know it's a lot you're live and it's good it's good i'm happy to be

00:03:05.360 here okay so then you went to rumble for two years did you feel comfortable there yeah i did okay at

00:03:11.680 first it was a little bit uh weird i'm still on rumble right now so right now i'm streaming on

00:03:16.160 rumble and twitch okay but twitch is the new platform but yeah i was rumble alone for two years

00:03:20.560 rumble alone for two years okay and now i got unbanned on twitch and i'm starting to be reintroduced

00:03:25.200 into society again okay it's like i went to jail for two years and to influence the jail for two

00:03:29.520 years do you want some water or anything i'm okay for now okay um i have bottles of water if you need

00:03:34.000 thank you it's like i went to influencer jail for two years and now i'm slowly being reintroduced

00:03:38.960 into society okay so i like that for you yeah but it must feel a lot of you must feel a lot of

00:03:43.840 pressure no yes yes yeah okay so now you're back on twitch and what does that mean for you it means i

00:03:51.440 have a second chance oh wow at twitch and then tiktok slides again i'm still banned on youtube and

00:03:57.120 instagram but i think because diddy's still on youtube and instagram maybe i'll get unbanned okay

00:04:01.920 so the rules are strange like why is diddy allowed on youtube and instagram but i'm banned on youtube

00:04:06.560 and instagram okay crazy so you can't you can't make sense of what happened to you or you can you

00:04:12.560 know how would you kind of describe you're getting canceled or banned and then how did you earn being

00:04:18.400 unbanned i would describe it i think it was unfair um a lot of the stuff i got banned for was

00:04:25.440 misinformation policies that are no longer part of the program okay like a covet misinformation and

00:04:30.800 election misinformation that's stuff i got banned on youtube for so i don't think it was fair uh

00:04:34.640 twitch they never gave me a reason instagram they didn't give me a reason and youtube was on just

00:04:38.960 reason tiktok i didn't hear a reason either so they just just got rid of me because of who i am

00:04:42.640 okay um and then now i have a second chance i have to like learn how to abide by the rules properly

00:04:48.080 because i'm being watched under a microscope like right now there's a twitch staff member watching

00:04:51.520 this um so yeah so hopefully this is good all right hopefully so um what did you want to talk

00:05:00.320 about today well let me first start by saying this isn't an official therapy session it would be

00:05:05.680 somewhat unethical to stream a therapy session such but we'll take it as a conversation i am

00:05:11.280 a licensed therapist and we're just chatting and brainstorming do you feel comfortable with that i do

00:05:16.640 i do and it's funny even if i was in a therapy session without the stream i think i would act

00:05:20.640 exactly the same way that's interesting that's one of the things i was thinking about um i do want

00:05:25.360 you to tell me what you want to talk about today but i was thinking about how you separate your

00:05:30.480 streaming from who you are if there is a separation at all not much okay not much because when you're

00:05:36.800 live this much it's like it's hard to really yeah it's hard to hide it all so even if i was in a

00:05:42.400 therapy session without the camera i would be thinking about what the chat would be saying and how

00:05:46.640 they'd be reacting to everything they're in your head yeah it's like we're one in the same connected

00:05:51.200 to each other very interesting so we'll get more into that but i wanted to sort of start with asking

00:05:56.560 you what you were hoping to talk about what your objective was for our chat today um probably a bit

00:06:04.320 of everything like about how to like dial back the rhetoric that got me banned um a little bit about

00:06:10.480 mental health because that's a major disagreement like i wouldn't actually i don't really believe

00:06:16.400 in therapy okay for the most part even though my mom's a therapist no way yeah she is your mom's a

00:06:21.680 therapist she is that is so cool what's her title training um psychologist i'll mute for a second

00:06:32.080 yeah so she does uh she's a therapist and we disagree all the time i don't really believe in

00:06:36.400 mental like i they said i had adhd when i was a kid okay i don't think it's real okay i don't think

00:06:41.520 it's a real disorder i i don't think depression is something i think it's over prescribed to people

00:06:46.080 i think autism all these like mental anxiety for example that's it's like a common theme for

00:06:52.000 people where i'm from okay where are you from sorry i was born in new york but i grew up a lot of

00:06:56.720 connecticut so like northeast you know okay high iq waspy area you know like really internal okay um

00:07:04.480 people so you're talking about the part of mental health that focuses a lot on diagnosing people

00:07:12.960 right and um and this idea that some people can be misdiagnosed or how often do you jump to

00:07:19.520 diagnosing someone um and so i i too have my own opinions about that i focus less on diagnosing and

00:07:26.560 i do a little bit more of like talk therapy no matter the diagnosis if you will not that it's not useful

00:07:31.600 okay for um the other therapists so talk therapy like what tony soprano and dr melfi did

00:07:38.880 um not exactly but yes i mean i like to so basically i try and work with you to get closer to the

00:07:46.640 fulfillment you're looking for so if you're noticing a pattern or you're noticing a problem

00:07:52.240 something that's getting in the way of you feeling a certain way i try to make sense of the context why

00:07:57.920 is this happening where does it come from how does it help you how does it not help you and

00:08:01.760 then kind of with this insight what um efforts to adjust could you put into place so that you

00:08:07.760 get closer to where you want to go in a nutshell okay so and you can be talking to me about that

00:08:13.840 whether you have a dhd or not for example okay so you think i should give you a specific problem

00:08:19.680 that needs addressing well not necessarily i think you did already tell me that you want to talk about

00:08:24.880 changing the rhetoric that got you banned right or i don't even know if i want to because i kind of

00:08:31.760 i think that's what makes me me you know okay and so why should i have to change who i am for this

00:08:36.720 platform just to make some money so who are you how would you describe yourself and your brand if

00:08:44.240 they're one in the same if they're separate one and the other that's a good question i mean they are the

00:08:49.520 same okay it's it's i i've started doing this knowing that as long as you tie your brand to who

00:08:56.560 you are you're never going to run out of stuff to talk about or stuff to do okay so you do feel

00:09:01.280 that your brand is very aligned with who you are it is it's not like you have to turn it on and off

00:09:05.440 my off brand on brand you're just being you i just woke up like 30 minutes before the stream

00:09:09.680 i brought and they're like why you look tired because i woke up i didn't eat i just woke up and came

00:09:13.920 right here and started the day okay yeah do you need some food i'm hungry yeah okay i'm gonna get

00:09:19.920 food later but yeah all right they get so needy when i like i woke up in the first thing when's he

00:09:24.880 going live when's he going live where's the update oh my god like i didn't even get they they feel

00:09:29.520 entitled to all of my time i have three kids um so i'm familiar with that feeling um okay so you

00:09:38.720 feel like your brand is one of the same with your personality yes and it's hard to separate

00:09:43.200 sometimes hard to forget like when i'll be uh candid i went back uh to see my family and when

00:09:49.680 they say my real name i forget what that that's my real name okay i'm like whoa like hubert like i i

00:09:54.880 forget that people still call me that so i'm so used to being like uh performative that it's hard to

00:10:00.880 really sometimes remember who you are outside of your performance yes which is different than you

00:10:07.280 different than your performance being you but if i've been doing this for 12 years the performance is me

00:10:13.200 isn't it that's interesting that's a philosophical question i don't know it's like the chicken or the

00:10:17.680 egg that the did the performance become you or did you become the performance i don't know that we can

00:10:24.800 answer that honestly but i think it is interesting about i think it's interesting to think about separating

00:10:31.440 or noticing what parts may be a little bit different from you know between you and and your persona when

00:10:38.160 you're streaming if any i forget what they are okay um so how would you describe yourself aka your brand

00:10:49.920 um my motto is seek truth through funny seek truth through funny yeah okay okay tell me more so i like

00:10:59.600 to get to the truth i like to have difficult conversations but you have to entertain or else

00:11:03.760 people are not going to pay attention so i also think the funny thing is usually the most truthful

00:11:07.440 okay whatever makes the room laugh or like breaks that uncomfortable silence that's tends to be

00:11:12.880 based in truth okay humor i think it's a superpower yeah um i think it is monumental and driving change and

00:11:21.040 allowing people to connect so i would agree with you there regarding truth i mean it's not that you're asking me to tell you what i think about your your motto but i'm

00:11:29.760 you know kind of taking it in i think truth is interesting do you think there is one universal

00:11:36.400 truth i do okay i think i'm used to seeing people's truth subject right my truth as a therapist i'm always

00:11:45.440 like i'm i work with couples and i'm listening to two people and i'm like oh this is your experience

00:11:50.240 what's yours and if i find myself like siding you know siding or leaning more towards like someone then

00:11:56.000 i'm like i'm missing half of the story i have to find the other half um and so uh yeah that's

00:12:03.040 funny do you do you side with the woman not at all really i have actually found that i end up having

00:12:10.240 like a very male oriented clientele but i've always been like that i've had a lot of

00:12:16.480 guy friends and i feel really comfortable what do you think is the number one problem in the modern

00:12:21.120 relationship that's such a great question i'll tell you what people say people say it's

00:12:25.680 communication problems but i think that's just an umbrella for a million things that happen

00:12:30.720 underneath it i think one of the problems is that we don't know how to effectively have

00:12:35.120 uncomfortable conversations you were talking about uncomfortable conversations and i think it's

00:12:39.760 super important to have them i think people think you either avoid them or you are having a fight

00:12:46.720 and it doesn't have to be either of those extremes i think we can have conversations about difficult

00:12:51.280 things with the right tools and so i think a lot of people lack that so they'll either get really

00:12:57.280 reactive and conflictual and yell or they'll avoid and leave it's kind of like fight or flight instinct

00:13:02.800 that's i haven't had a real relationship in a long time i think it's impossible to do with this and i'm

00:13:09.200 not trying to victimize myself by saying this but this is just what it is if you like put everything

00:13:13.440 into this there's no time to really delve into social relationships outside of streaming like

00:13:19.440 even all my friendships and everything are all streaming relationships and is it all virtual or

00:13:24.160 does it ever have like an in-person component it is but it's usually whenever it's not uh on camera

00:13:29.120 it's like just discussing what we're going to be doing on camera that's hard you're a workaholic

00:13:33.920 and then even the girls that i'll like um hang around sometimes i'm waiting until marriage personally but

00:13:39.120 some of the girls are like i'll just be i'll think of like see a girl like oh she'd be great for 1.00

00:13:42.960 a stream like i could play games with her i can do a cooking stream yeah there's there's not really

00:13:48.320 any time because if i wouldn't having a relationship is like having a part-time job you know it's a

00:13:53.840 commitment you know it's it takes effort it does yes there's no time to put time into yeah wow so i

00:13:59.520 don't really have real relationships and how do you feel about giving that part up to have this life

00:14:07.120 i don't know i was like right now you're giving that up yeah it's that like a conscious choice

00:14:12.800 that you make like i'm all in my career right now i'm okay with giving that up or have you kind of

00:14:17.120 just realized that that's what's happening it's just that's what it is like if you want to succeed

00:14:22.560 in this that you can't sacrifice at all is it because you'd be lacking time or is it because

00:14:31.280 if you had a steady fulfilling relationship you probably your content wouldn't be as good that it's

00:14:37.040 both both interesting huh well you know you just got me thinking did you watch that series on netflix

00:14:44.240 nobody wants this or nobody likes nobody wants this no it's really interesting it's this girl and her

00:14:49.600 sister they run a podcast and then she starts dating um a rabbi and she's not jewish and so she

00:14:59.200 it's kind of like her sister tells her that her stream content goes down once she starts having

00:15:04.400 like a steady relationship and once once she wants to keep part of her private life private

00:15:10.400 and so it's interesting for me to think about that like how content creation and what people are

00:15:15.120 interested in hearing and seeing sometimes takes away takes away from you having something that is

00:15:20.480 more private right like taylor swift for example would she have a good catalog of music if she was in a

00:15:26.880 stable relationship or is all of her music based upon breakups and having toxic boyfriends we'll see what

00:15:31.840 comes next it seems like she's in a good one now i don't know but it but but i do think i do think

00:15:37.600 um heartbreak and loneliness and um a lot of these things make for good content i can definitely see

00:15:44.240 how there's like an inverse relationship so do you think i'm sacrificing my mental health in order to

00:15:49.760 succeed here i wouldn't feel capable of judging that because i haven't done what you do i do think it

00:15:57.680 must be so difficult to be an open book how how long are you live for um they're gonna say that i'm

00:16:05.760 not live enough but i'm live almost every day let me see they're gonna say that i i'm okay they're

00:16:12.320 saying one hour a month it's see but they're saying they see this is calling me lazy cap lazy one hour

00:16:18.640 max never he's lazy they're saying this because they want all my life i'm live every day i've been

00:16:24.880 live almost every single day but and whatever and they want all my time if i'm not live 24 hours

00:16:30.080 a day they call me lazy that's how it works isn't that insanity that is that is a lot to ask of

00:16:35.760 anyone he's lying oh wow so so what do you mean that you're wanting the same with those comments

00:16:44.000 so so for example right now you kind of showed that you think differently than your community in

00:16:50.560 the sense that like you know you do think you're in the content creation space they know what they're

00:16:56.400 doing they're trolling me they know that i'm not lazy they're just saying that to get me to work

00:17:00.640 harder because they see me as a slave dancing monkey to entertain them so how do you separate their

00:17:04.880 trolling the influence these comments have on you from what you want to do

00:17:12.640 that's the hard part yeah you know what i want to do i want to make documentaries i made this

00:17:16.560 documentary called letter from bazia and i had to take time away from streaming to do that and i

00:17:21.600 loved it and they loved it but the whole time i'm filming it when i wasn't streaming they're like oh

00:17:26.160 they started like getting really upset and angry so it's difficult and i feel the stress and the

00:17:30.640 burden of it when i'm like not streaming i'm like oh my like yeah you know i hear you um so

00:17:38.880 what do you do when people are upset with you and uncomfortable so say that they're disappointed with

00:17:44.080 the fact that you haven't streamed for a day or a month um you notice that it weighs on you

00:17:51.120 and then how do you react i get angry okay so it's hard to separate them from from your

00:17:58.080 from the direction you're taking that's why me we're one of the same like my it's tied okay it's a soul

00:18:05.280 tie yeah you know it's interesting i always say that in relationships and this is like a relationship

00:18:11.440 you and your what would you you and your streaming people um in your community the chat you and the

00:18:17.680 chat yeah have a relationship and in relationships one plus one equals three there's you there's the

00:18:24.560 chat and the relationship and the relationship itself ah right it looks like your mother's a therapist

00:18:29.280 yeah well i've heard that before like the marriage is separate from the two people the marriage is a

00:18:33.120 separate it's like something you work on it's the part that the two people overlap in right and so at any

00:18:39.120 given time i'm assessing how much self are you giving up how much of your own thinking of your

00:18:44.560 own essence of you know how much of what you're doing is for the other and vice versa as opposed to

00:18:51.200 like do i give part of me to the relationship but another part i look out for myself and there can be

00:18:57.200 some separation there just for sustainability because if you give all yourself to the relationship

00:19:04.960 how long will it go before one day you turn around and you say like what am i exactly who am i who am i

00:19:11.120 outside of this relationship exactly yeah especially because you're saying well you said that you're you

00:19:18.320 know you're sacrificing future relationships for this but is that something you want a future

00:19:23.280 relationship yeah yeah yeah way more i would if i could have like five kids and uh and a marriage and

00:19:29.600 all that for instead of these guys i would take it in a second well i'm sure you could yeah it's just

00:19:36.160 right now it seems like you're choosing this yeah which is okay if it's your choice you just want to

00:19:41.440 make sure that you've been thoughtful about it i like the the comparison like what am i outside of this

00:19:47.120 relationship it's the same thing with this like what am i without the stream and what's my identity

00:19:52.720 like what i just have an identity crisis without the streaming when you pour that much time and energy

00:19:57.280 into it what do you think would you it's hard to i've been doing it for so long it's hard to figure

00:20:04.160 out here's my guess okay i think you'd find yourself with space like with a blank slate and i think

00:20:12.880 that that is both an opportunity and a challenge sometimes it's easier to be busy and to know what we're

00:20:18.880 going to do every day even if we don't like it or even if it's challenging um routine calms us down

00:20:25.520 but then when you have blank space or you know just an opportunity to do something new you really

00:20:35.360 um can find yourself really lost i'm not saying this is what would happen to you but a lot of people

00:20:40.720 might find themselves just not knowing where to start or having to dig deep before they take a new

00:20:46.000 direction um so so it could be really uncomfortable for a while unless another thing i'm thinking about

00:20:53.920 because nothing has to be super extreme is that maybe you find some time even if it's a little

00:20:58.400 time to brainstorm and start creating a separation and it doesn't mean that anything huge would change

00:21:04.320 but just like how am i a little bit different or separate from my chat and just kind of like start

00:21:10.400 thinking about that so if and if one day this stops you're not starting from scratch with doing all the

00:21:16.480 um thinking so start to start now yeah start thinking about sorry planning an exit strategy now

00:21:27.440 or just you know separating your identity slightly okay which doesn't mean you have to stop being like

00:21:35.440 truthful or anything someone said kick her before she retires sneeko what does that mean that means like

00:21:41.280 someone saying kick her out of the stream before she gets me to retire i get that now um no i don't

00:21:50.240 think you're ready to retire i don't think you'd have me here if you wanted to retire but i think you

00:21:54.640 want to be thoughtful about how you go on do you think depression is real yes what is depression well i

00:22:04.000 think there you know there's um a book called the dsm-5 it's a diagnostics um book that has like all

00:22:10.960 the specific criteria and the time frames where a person needs to exhibit certain symptoms to be

00:22:16.160 diagnosed as um having a depression so there is like a clinical much in the same way that you'd go

00:22:22.800 to a doctor and they tell you if you have diabetes or not that the same exists for depression um and

00:22:29.600 there's like actual chemical imbalances that can take place um but then i do also think that we use the

00:22:35.920 term a little more loosely um in in our culture uh to sort of describe people that are feeling a little

00:22:43.840 down not motivated just struggling to get through their days and um you know that's that's what i

00:22:52.640 think there's like a clinical medical sense to it a way of looking at it um for which i recommend

00:22:59.440 seeing a psychiatrist um but then there's also just how we use it to explain maybe not being

00:23:04.960 motivated feeling a little lost lacking energy so it's a feeling i think we use it we use that word

00:23:13.200 to describe a feeling sometimes so it's also a medical condition so two things do you believe

00:23:18.560 that there's a chemical imbalance it can happen yes what's the chemical about like a lack of dopamine a

00:23:24.320 lack of serotonin well i'm not a psychiatrist so i'd rather not get specifically into the

00:23:31.120 uh the diagnosis but why were you asking i'm curious that's just a conversation a debate that

00:23:36.800 i've had non-stop with everybody what is i mean people on twitch believe that depression's real

00:23:41.200 that it's a chemical imbalance all this stuff i don't i personally don't think that there's evidence

00:23:45.040 showing that there's a chemical imbalance and all this stuff oh really yeah and i don't think

00:23:49.120 there's i've never seen any studies that show that i i don't really believe in the idea of

00:23:53.760 depression i think it's just sadness which is a feeling and you shouldn't prescribe feelings

00:23:58.880 it's like it's like saying like oh you're prescribing someone as sad well you could just

00:24:03.840 then just stop being sad i hear what you're saying but i don't think it works that way like i think

00:24:10.400 depression has more to it than just feeling sadness have you looked at that movie inside out have you

00:24:15.680 seen it that's a cartoon movie right yes uh i don't know i think i saw it can you summarize it

00:24:21.360 i'll summarize it i'm obsessed with it i think it's like the best movie ever made

00:24:25.600 um there's two at this point but the first one um the main characters are the different emotions

00:24:31.040 inside of us and so there's there's like joy sadness in that one um fear and a couple more

00:24:38.640 and it's really interesting to see how they interact and sadness has a really important role

00:24:42.640 i think that because of how you're describing your thoughts of depression i think you might enjoy

00:24:47.440 seeing that movie how important sadness can be to then um appreciate happiness appreciate joy

00:24:53.840 yeah happiness exactly but people that believe they're depressed they don't they think that they

00:24:58.400 can't be happy that they're in a state of constant sadness i don't think that people that are really

00:25:05.040 depressed feel like they have much of a choice doesn't matter but you shouldn't act on just how you feel

00:25:11.440 all the time i i get what you're saying i'm up for i i like the idea of acting with choice through our

00:25:22.320 feelings right and and to sort of um manage our actions thoughtfully knowing that you're feeling

00:25:29.680 certain things because you can't really make feelings go away that's my opinion you can acknowledge

00:25:34.240 the feeling and you work through it right um it's not like oh if i'm angry i'm free to just react

00:25:40.480 however i want because i'm angry right um i just think that again there are different degrees of

00:25:47.120 depression and i think that most people if they can choose otherwise they would most people not

00:25:53.040 everyone but what's whole i think the major thing holding them back is they think that there's a no

00:25:58.320 choice that they're in this state like i'm chemically imbalanced therefore i have no choice if they could

00:26:03.040 understand that it's a choice for me to work through this they would hopefully hopefully i mean i i to me

00:26:11.840 at the center of the therapy i do and how i think about change in life is that choice is the most

00:26:17.280 important thing that we have you know you can't control all your circumstances but you can control

00:26:23.120 how you react to them so i i too really treasure and value this idea of choice sounds like we agree

00:26:30.240 yes on choice specifically about depression it would depend on every case and everything i don't

00:26:36.560 think people choose to be depressed

00:26:40.720 but generalizing is really difficult um when you're speaking of mental health of anything really

00:26:46.800 that's where that's where i come back to this idea of universal truths

00:26:50.560 do i believe that either you or i will have the truthful answer i don't i think there's just so much

00:26:57.680 variety that um we need to look specifically at each case so you believe in the concept of my truth

00:27:07.120 that everybody has a truth i'll tell you what i think i think there are few things in life and in

00:27:17.760 relationships that are absolutely factual things that we can say where like it's fact and most people

00:27:24.560 will agree or all people will agree because they're fact i think a lot of our human existence is

00:27:29.680 dictated by feeling even though we like to think otherwise

00:27:35.840 so i don't know if that answer our human existence is determined by feeling and it's very subjective

00:27:41.520 like where do you come from and how do you perceive what's threatening what's not threatening

00:27:46.960 etc so what about a schizophrenic person is there is what they when they're talking to a stop sign are they

00:27:53.920 actually talking to a stop sign if they feel like they are um they feel like they are that's their

00:28:00.960 truth you would think otherwise but should we validate that truth or should we say there's an

00:28:06.800 objective truth you're not talking to the stop sign you're wrong well where does it take you to get into

00:28:13.520 an argument with a schizophrenic telling them that what they're doing is not truth like not true

00:28:19.120 i mean if they're disrupting people they're scaring children you can be like hey this is not a

00:28:25.360 a living being stop doing this i get what you're saying um but here's the thing say that you're

00:28:32.080 really anxious right now okay and i tell you to calm down what do you think will happen i immediately like

00:28:38.400 my heart rate sped up when you do that yeah okay so if you find a person having

00:28:43.360 a schizophrenic episode and you're like dude then you know that's a stop sign not a person like just

00:28:50.240 stop what are the chances that that's actually going to be effective in managing the episode so

00:28:56.080 you're saying approach it with empathy and you think my approach is more forceful

00:29:04.000 i i don't want to say that you're lacking empathy i think that you're trying to find

00:29:09.440 fact and truth and i think that that is an honest pursuit i think that there's something

00:29:14.800 really cool about that i just don't think it's that simple and so one one metric that i like to use

00:29:20.320 in therapy is like how useful is whatever we're doing right and so when somebody is having a really

00:29:27.200 hard time and they're talking to a stop sign or they're really anxious or angry and somebody

00:29:31.840 comes to them and they're like calm down or stop doing that is that useful and i think we can all

00:29:36.320 create the worst thing you can do with somebody that's not calm is to tell them to calm down

00:29:40.960 so it's more about like how do i find that thing that is useful

00:29:46.080 that will make an actual positive difference to get to where we want to go is it for this

00:29:50.080 person to calm down so the people around them feel safe and the children aren't scared

00:29:55.200 then what do i do in that scenario right i think we agree it's just taking a different approach okay i

00:30:01.280 like that yeah i think it's just a different approach i just don't see it worthwhile to validate

00:30:05.360 everybody's truth because when some people there's a lot of truths that people believe

00:30:09.840 to be real and there's like people believe that they're not in their own body for example we got

00:30:14.000 to tell you so i come back to choice with that we can decide how much time and energy we want to

00:30:20.560 dedicate to validating everyone else's truth right okay you know do you want to take the time to speak

00:30:27.600 to every single person and and be like yes i hear you you may not want to you may find that futile or

00:30:34.000 not a good use of your energy and i respect that don't you think that so many people believing in

00:30:38.960 their own individual truth is why therapy is so prevalent right now because of how much delusion

00:30:44.240 is allowed and so people need to figure out sense of if there was an objective truth about what's

00:30:49.200 right and what's wrong that everybody followed there'd be less of a need for people to go and

00:30:53.120 you know hire professionals to talk about it i love that question i promise you i'm going to take

00:30:59.600 it with me and think about it a lot um but i'll tell you the first thing that comes to mind so i

00:31:06.000 think every single human navigates a balance between individuality and togetherness so all of us

00:31:13.760 have a need to belong like belonging to a community or to relationships or to a family some sense of

00:31:20.080 belonging is um crucial to human survival that's why like solitary confinement sometimes can be like the

00:31:26.960 worst type of punishment so we all have a need to belong um that's part of what drives you keeping

00:31:35.200 your chat all the time in your mind it's like if i give them what they want i belong and it's nice to

00:31:39.920 be wanted even if you want them to be less sorry i think i have this on now i can't like focus yeah

00:31:46.240 no you're fine it was i just need to lean forward okay so everybody has a need for togetherness and a

00:31:52.000 sense of belonging but then we also have a need to feel like an individual and somewhat unique

00:31:58.320 and have some of our own thinking and some of us will be more towards the belonging side or towards

00:32:02.960 the individual side okay and i do think right now culturally speaking and in society we've gone

00:32:12.240 very individualistic we've gone very like this is my truth completely and i decide what i want and i

00:32:20.000 to a point where i think you know i think we go from extremes and then we self-regulate and i think

00:32:25.600 we will start self-regulating sometime in the near future because there we've come to a point where

00:32:30.160 everybody wants to make their own rules and uh think very very very independently and that

00:32:37.600 some people might say well like that's nice and it's a freedom we all deserve but i will say that with

00:32:42.080 freedom comes responsibility and it's like with parenting and kids like sometimes

00:32:47.760 kids want to do whatever they want but you kind of but they actually feel safe when there are

00:32:52.480 boundaries and that's why this like general truth and universal rules and stuff sometimes we don't like

00:33:00.560 them but they do serve an important role in like taking the thinking out of every single thing we do out

00:33:07.360 of every single thing we think so um it's just a reciprocal relationship it's about finding the balance i

00:33:14.480 think is that the product of social media why has it gone so extreme right now before it regulates

00:33:21.040 hmm that's a good question i try not to think cause and effect i wouldn't just blame social media but

00:33:27.280 what do you think what role has social media played in either allowing people to think

00:33:35.680 too much about their personal truths versus creating like a universal truth is that your question like

00:33:42.240 yeah it's made everything more internal you know it's not normal for people to exist in their

00:33:48.960 reflection it used to be like you know the reason we like first person shooter games is because you

00:33:53.200 exist here without seeing yourself the caveman reality is just like walking around the club and

00:33:58.640 beating the tiger and dragging it you're just here but now that we're looking at our reflection we exist in

00:34:04.960 in two dimensions at once so it's not just about the tiger it's how we look beating the tiger you

00:34:11.840 know is my hair good while i'm beating it is this ethical to be clubbing it this way how are people

00:34:18.000 going to perceive this treatment so you know this this it's this is mind-blowing i don't know anything

00:34:22.880 about gaming sorry everybody um so i didn't know that there was a difference between the one where you're

00:34:27.760 just looking at what's around you versus the one where you're looking at you looking at what's around

00:34:32.400 you um that's really neat to think about um yeah it's definitely a whole second layer um and a very

00:34:40.080 distracting one of that to think about our image and the perception that others may have about who

00:34:45.120 we are a lot of effort goes into defining ourselves because that's what but then we come back to what

00:34:50.640 we were talking about before sorry to interrupt you which is like are you defining yourself based on

00:34:55.360 your you know on your own internal values what drives you what who you want to be or are you

00:35:01.360 defining yourself based on what you think the perception of the people around you is of who

00:35:06.400 you are right so it's like that's what i've built i think a lot of my personality on is how people view

00:35:12.400 me exactly it's it's been less internal because i've grown up you know before i hit puberty i was

00:35:16.640 making these videos wow yeah wow whole life is online do you do you feel vulnerable at all doing this

00:35:24.160 what do you mean by vulnerable is there ever a time where

00:35:30.560 it just feels like you're putting too much on the line where you feel very exposed and

00:35:37.520 unprotected yeah you just get used to it because if you feel vulnerable then it shows and then the

00:35:42.880 content is going to get worse so you can't really feel you're not supposed to like you know dive into

00:35:47.120 those feelings that's only going to hurt it more does that make sense so you're expected to not

00:35:53.600 feel i mean it's not about expectations just not beneficial to feel that it's not going to help me

00:35:59.680 so if i felt vulnerable like what there's no point in me sitting in those feelings is there any other

00:36:06.400 streamer or online person that you feel does show up with their feelings and with the vulnerability

00:36:17.760 and that they're somehow able to strike that um that chord and still be famous and successful

00:36:23.280 yeah everyone has every every streamer and consecrated they have vulnerable moments but it

00:36:27.600 always ends up biting them in the future anytime you you show like complete honesty like that there's

00:36:33.600 always an equal amount of enemies that are watching and the vultures ready to use that against you

00:36:39.120 so how specifically do you get punished people will just use that your weak moments against you

00:36:44.320 you you think there's there's like how does it how does that exploitation of your weakness actually

00:36:49.280 come to life you know i can i can imagine i can uh relate to the feeling you're describing where

00:36:55.120 it would be like um i'm being exploited for that right now but in what ways does it factually and

00:37:01.840 actually punish you um so say if you show a vulnerable moment and you share an honest moment

00:37:11.200 with your the people watching the core community the people that really appreciate you they'll show

00:37:16.560 appreciation but there's the evil eyes always there so everybody else is hearing it as well

00:37:21.760 like what does the evil eye do because you're saying that the true people your core community

00:37:27.200 they will value you yes so but that could be overshadowed by everybody else that's important

00:37:32.320 to separate from the other ones right but it can be overshadowed by everybody else okay

00:37:37.680 by by because of the comments they make yeah and the comments they make impact you how i mean

00:37:45.360 can undermine it like say like if the community wants to show support like all right we love sneaker 1.00

00:37:49.120 he's doing this and immediately someone will reply like with that vulnerable woman fuck you he said 1.00

00:37:53.360 this he said that he's and then they're like oh should i not and what about ignoring them 0.99

00:37:58.960 because you know that you connected with your core community over something that is important

00:38:04.480 and very real is can that be enough yeah you can ignore it you could ignore it but yeah i think

00:38:11.280 ignoring is powerful but you have to ignore them and everybody else who likes you has to ignore it as

00:38:16.720 well and then it so it's just my point is better to not give any ammunition out there that's how you

00:38:24.160 protect yourself yeah you kind of have to i i've seen it both ways because i've been a very vulnerable

00:38:28.720 open person since i started everything in my life is out there so and everything can be used against

00:38:34.000 you and i would say to anybody like just keep it don't it's not worth it wow it's better to shield

00:38:40.080 yourself from those from the vultures yeah what are the vultures saying about us talking now oh these

00:38:47.040 are no they're not here they're not oh they're not here okay they're not in your chat no no no but

00:38:53.680 they'll be on every other social media platform okay so so now you are on twitch

00:39:03.840 how does that change what you do it's a it's a liberal dominated platform okay rumble for example 0.99

00:39:11.840 i would say i'm gonna be candid i would say like therapy sucks fuck therapy it's always 0.99

00:39:15.760 twitch is like we love therapy this is good it's more empathetic liberal feelings you're doing this for 0.98

00:39:21.040 twitch no not for twitch not for yes i i like your candidness that's okay i'm not offended yeah at

00:39:28.160 all it's a liberal dominated platform you know feelings and rumbles like no pull yourself up by

00:39:33.440 your bootstraps conservative values it's it's a different different arena completely okay okay

00:39:40.320 so then do you feel you're choosing between one and the other

00:39:43.600 yes which one are you gonna choose that's what i gotta figure out i gotta figure out what's more

00:39:52.000 what's worth it worthwhile it's interesting i have to figure out what's worthwhile well

00:40:03.280 i think you know which one is more reflective of who you are

00:40:06.320 from our conversation i get a feeling that you know that yeah for sure so anytime somebody likes to

00:40:18.880 like wants to try and go completely against their essence i think that is tricky and i always wonder

00:40:29.280 how sustainable is that but then that isn't to say that i don't think we're capable of some

00:40:36.080 change or adjustment like i think there are questions like what can i do slightly different

00:40:41.760 that allows me to exist in both of these platforms

00:40:47.680 or what is one thing that i don't want to do maybe i refrain from this one thing

00:40:53.360 and see what difference that makes track it so don't go full in or full out just kind of balance

00:41:03.200 it yeah just get really thoughtful about like what did i do today would i adjust and do something a

00:41:09.440 little bit different that allows me to if if your goal is to be on both platforms or on more

00:41:16.080 balance it out okay sounds like for you it might be i mean i don't know all the details but it might

00:41:23.760 be more about something you don't do rather than something you do what do you think is that accurate

00:41:28.880 i think it's accurate okay

00:41:32.960 when should i get a relationship and dial this back well when i don't know um

00:41:41.120 um i'm curious about how you would try and meet someone

00:41:48.240 yeah i i don't know either there's been opportunities there's been some but

00:41:55.440 i'm not sure what's getting in the way of finding one now apart from your work schedule is that

00:42:05.360 that you have to hide so much of that like i wouldn't want my wife to be exposed to the

00:42:11.840 to the internet at all at all

00:42:17.440 okay and it seems inevitable if you're if you're going full-time like that it seems like it's

00:42:20.960 inevitable for them because you'd be you never told me how many hours a day do you do this for

00:42:27.200 see you can't trust them they're they're gonna say they're gonna trust you i'm talking to you

00:42:31.360 i can i i think i can barely track this i would go like probably four hours a day on average

00:42:39.040 four four hours a day before i know they're saying one but two hours one hour a year

00:42:45.040 half an hour you see the you see this is the issue right here like everything we're speaking about you

00:42:49.680 you can see it in real time okay so um

00:42:58.000 four hours well people have relationships and they work much longer than they're plugged into

00:43:04.560 their jobs for much longer than four hours a day yeah so what do you do with the other 20.

00:43:12.480 well i found it difficult like sometimes when i hang out with the girl i'm just thinking about

00:43:15.760 the stream i'm like looking through the twitter looking through comments like i can't i'm not

00:43:20.000 existing in the moment and you know how women are women like to be like the center of attention 1.00

00:43:24.160 i can't give that i think every person wants to feel special especially if they're trying to find

00:43:29.520 their future partner it's hard to feel special if you're scrolling through your chat even if i'm

00:43:34.720 not scrolling through it i'm still thinking about like i'm like i'll be sitting at a dinner

00:43:38.320 trying to like care about what she's talking about i genuinely just like don't care at all

00:43:42.320 because what she's saying is and i don't even want to be funny or entertaining i don't want to like

00:43:47.360 because i just want to save that energy for the stream it's really sick you're not ready

00:43:54.400 unless you want to challenge yourself differently so so okay if you

00:44:00.080 are noticing that you're really wanting to find a relationship a person to have a relationship with

00:44:05.520 what is one thing you do differently going back to this useful effort and this idea of like what is

00:44:11.040 one thing i would change i think you already have your answer just based on what we just talked

00:44:14.880 about what's the answer you go on a date and you leave your phone to the side for 30 minutes and

00:44:21.040 you give her your undivided attention could you survive through that that sounds brutal yeah that

00:44:28.000 sounds bad but i think that's the way you start having both of your worlds your personal one and this

00:44:35.040 one your work one if if we can call it that it seems like right now it's very personal and work at the

00:44:40.400 same time but i think it might be interesting for you to start making that distinction and um you

00:44:47.360 know like i said it's not about you quitting this now but it's like get thoughtful and so maybe just

00:44:52.640 dedicate half an hour once a week to having an interesting conversation with a girl

00:45:02.080 but you probably want to find a girl that you find interesting who would that be 1.00

00:45:05.440 i don't really find i'm not sure i don't find women to be interesting 0.64

00:45:12.560 ouch really i mean not not for me but how come

00:45:18.480 um i i don't like the stuff that they're in never like you've never found a girl interesting

00:45:26.880 maybe when i was younger when i was like a teenager before you were

00:45:29.680 no yeah i was still doing it but i i could be infatuated with the woman okay and kind of like 1.00

00:45:35.040 give it like everything i used to be the type of guy like i become obsessed same way i'm obsessed

00:45:39.600 with my work now i'd be obsessed with a woman and i give everything like this is and i would paint

00:45:44.240 this idea in my head about her be full romantic and think about her non-stop and give her gifts and 0.98

00:45:48.720 everything and then after a while i just get bored i'm like oh she's just a girl she's a human

00:45:53.600 like yeah like she has flaws she's not a movie she's a girl i guarantee you any girl you you 1.00

00:45:59.840 meet will have flaws we all do any human so maybe that's your challenge to be a little bit less

00:46:09.200 did you say obsessed or intent what how did you self-destruct obsessed so a little bit less obsessive

00:46:14.480 it's 30 minutes at a time just like can i have a relatively interesting conversation with someone

00:46:23.360 for 30 minutes have you dealt with adhd people before yes but again i don't focus on the diagnosis

00:46:30.640 as much yeah how do you how would you fix that board problem like sometimes i she will be like sort of 0.98

00:46:36.880 interesting and then immediately it's just like it just goes down and then i get disgusted are you

00:46:43.120 bored because she talks too much um like when does the switch kind of flip that you start feeling

00:46:52.240 bored uh should i be candid yeah sometimes like after um after sex it's like the infatuation goes away

00:47:04.480 completely okay so you said at some point during our conversation you said you were waiting for

00:47:11.040 marriage you said something like that what do you mean by that now i'm waiting i'm waiting i don't

00:47:14.720 i'm not like dating at all i'm just waiting until i get married like i don't to have sex yeah okay but

00:47:20.080 you do need to date before you get married um maybe in certain scenarios yeah okay huh when did you stop

00:47:31.280 having sex um it's been like a year okay why did you stop how come what made you make that decision

00:47:40.640 religious reasons okay i think that's legit you know it sounds to me like you notice that after

00:47:46.160 having sex you would lose interest that's probably because of some core belief the moment that person

00:47:51.920 shared that with you there is something that may maybe made you feel like there was nothing else to 0.91

00:47:58.800 pursue i don't know yeah the chase is over the chase already clubbed the tiger the tiger's dead

00:48:05.360 i already ate it time to get to the next hunt so primitive um like okay so then um what comes

00:48:16.160 after the chase so you talk about like dating and sex and then you talk about marriage what is marriage

00:48:21.840 about for you well we spoke earlier i think marriage is a separate entity from the two people it's something

00:48:27.840 you need to work and build upon yes it's uh it's a union all that all those words okay it's something

00:48:35.200 yeah it's like building a house you need to build a house with your yeah with the significant other

00:48:39.680 what does it look like in practical day life like what do you share with that person what do you not

00:48:44.320 share with that person um what's the basis of of that union is it a partnership or maybe not is it

00:48:59.040 i think earlier me when i was younger when i was a romantic i'd be like it needs to be a partnership

00:49:03.680 yes now i'm like it just needs to be a balance she needs to provide certain things that i need to

00:49:09.440 provide certain things and i don't want to share everything like i'm not going to give her my phone

00:49:13.280 password for example this is like there's a lot of things i don't want to share okay that's fair

00:49:19.360 enough i don't i mean one thing is secrecy another thing is to keep some parts separate i'm up for

00:49:26.400 keeping some things separate um secrecy i don't know um because i think that just creates this idea

00:49:33.360 of like what are you hiding from me but um i'd have to think more about that but have everything in

00:49:40.000 my phone like my business my okay passwords my banking but so when you shifted from a partnership

00:49:47.680 to a balance and the way you described it it sounded very transactional

00:49:53.600 yes tell me more about what informed that shift like what did a partnership mean when you were a

00:50:00.160 romantic and then kind of what happened that made you turn it into more a transactional partnership

00:50:07.120 type situation um when i was a romantic i would think that i believed in the concept of soulmates

00:50:12.720 okay that people fall in love and that they're destined to be together and it doesn't matter what

00:50:17.200 you provide and then you realize like women are only going to really appreciate you for what you

00:50:22.400 bring to the table same thing with men men we're only going to like value women for what they bring

00:50:26.880 so that i don't believe in soulmates it's more like what we love each other for what we do not who we are

00:50:31.840 are oof i don't know i'm a little bit of a romantic i'm a realist too i think that what we provide

00:50:41.760 makes a big difference and i'm not talking just like material things but i think you know how we show up

00:50:47.840 and um it does make a significant difference it's not like love is everything um at the same time i do

00:50:57.520 think that we can fall in love with who someone else is like do you admire that person what they

00:51:05.040 stand for how they see the world are you interested in their thinking

00:51:12.720 even if it's i don't see it as possible really okay how come when did you decide it was impossible

00:51:19.040 because people are flawed yeah and so i don't think i could fall in love with flaws

00:51:23.600 that's accepting a flawed existence and a flawed relationship are you striving for perfection yeah

00:51:31.920 and even though it's impossible yeah my the goal is to be as perfect as possible

00:51:37.440 can you fall in love with another person who is also striving for perfection knowing that they're flawed

00:51:43.920 like can you admire someone someone's pursuing the same thing as you okay that's a good point

00:51:48.480 oh that's a good point yeah yeah someone's pursuit of perfection rather than their okay

00:51:59.280 where did you learn that pursuing perfection was a worthy um pursuit pursuit i don't see anything else

00:52:06.400 like worthwhile with your time

00:52:10.720 what else is there to do

00:52:13.360 that's a good question i don't know i don't like this new concept of accepting your flaws

00:52:18.480 i think it's better to get rid of them what do you think of mistakes you make them

00:52:26.800 you want to make as little as possible you don't want to repeat your mistakes right i'm i i like that

00:52:32.560 not repeating them oof i don't like making mistakes either but i'm trying to figure out how to develop my

00:52:39.520 own thinking to be a little bit more um welcoming of them not just to excuse them but to use them as

00:52:45.680 as information and growth i think it's a little bit about like

00:52:54.160 how we frame things going back to this idea of universal truth are mistakes good or bad bad

00:53:02.640 i would say it depends you know i agree with you you want to avoid making like mistakes all the time and

00:53:11.520 certainly repeating the same one over and over at the same time can we understand that mistakes may

00:53:16.880 have value if you turn them into a learning experience and they become a growth opportunity

00:53:22.400 what's the same thing about being depressed like depression is good because you appreciate happy

00:53:28.560 same thing a mistake is good until you find the positive from it but the mistake in a vacuum is bad

00:53:35.680 correct i think that's what it meant about universal truth not actually being

00:53:43.760 as useful or applicable in human day-to-day existence and relationships

00:53:53.040 okay so human relationships are separate for what do you what do you consider to be universal you

00:53:56.720 believe in god i do okay yeah so universal truth starts from god and then a relationship is separate

00:54:02.560 from that we have to accept that it's going to be flawed and operate yeah i i get it now okay so

00:54:10.400 it's not like you're you're accepting of flaws but you understand that they're inevitable

00:54:18.640 right and i think you know i think one thing is to acknowledge and accept that they exist but then

00:54:27.280 also make a plan for what you do with them so it's a it's a little bit of a process like first i i

00:54:34.160 understand that they're gonna that they exist i recognize it i can do a deep dive and say like

00:54:39.840 well this is one way that i'm flawed understand it pay attention to it even like try and track where does

00:54:45.840 this come from how how does this because i think most human behavior makes sense in context

00:54:51.600 so if you look at previous generations in your family you may find information as to what you do

00:54:57.040 certain things the way you do either because you do the same or because you do the opposite there's a

00:55:01.440 lot of rich information in our previous generations so first i'm like how how can i explain this flaw how

00:55:10.000 does it make sense that i'm kind of this way not as an excuse not to be like well i understand it so

00:55:15.280 that's that but kind of to say like oh where does it come from how do i make sense of it and once you do

00:55:20.640 um it's again what's a useful effort how do i want to tweak this so that it stops interfering with

00:55:26.880 where i want to get to yeah

00:55:32.720 so i'm gonna be fine yeah everything's gonna be fine you're gonna be fine it's funny that that's

00:55:37.920 the conclusion you came to usually when i have this conversation like oh my god that's a lot to do

00:55:42.320 but you took it sort of as um it eased you or it gave you a reassurance um

00:55:52.480 or you just said that because you're bored at this point no no no no no it's uh it's a lot to take

00:55:57.360 yeah baby

00:56:00.640 oh all right i respect that it is heavy material let me ask you something are you thinking about

00:56:10.080 the chat right now yeah okay were you thinking about the chat three minutes ago yes the whole

00:56:16.000 time the whole time the whole time how come you're not looking are you curious i am but do you already

00:56:21.680 know what they're saying okay let's let i'll give you a deep dive into my head i'm thinking about them

00:56:26.480 non-stop but i want to keep you engaged and i know that if i keep looking that it's going to break your

00:56:30.240 engagement and then it's going to be discombobulated in the chest it's going to dislike it so i know

00:56:34.400 thinking of them you're thinking of me and you're not thinking of yourself exactly ouch

00:56:40.080 yeah yeah well i am thinking about myself too because i'm going to be happier if they're happy

00:56:44.320 and you're happy and everyone's happy i don't know i don't know

00:56:54.240 so what do you think i should be doing think of you right now

00:56:57.520 i can't because uh i can't i can't okay that's all right well okay think of me and do what

00:57:13.200 just recognize maybe one thing you're feeling one thing you're thinking

00:57:21.120 but not like oh if i say this out loud will the chat like it or not like it or what is she

00:57:25.120 going to think about whether you know whether i'm brutally honest like no

00:57:32.160 the only time i where i don't have those thoughts is when i'm praying that's it

00:57:36.080 good for you that's it so then praying is really important yeah you want to find spaces where you

00:57:40.880 can disconnect from this and from me and from you know where you can connect with yourself or god

00:57:47.280 yeah that's the only time spirituality and religion is really important

00:57:50.560 do people find religion or do they leave religion when they when they speak to you

00:57:56.640 find or leave yeah do you think they get a closer connection or oh that's interesting so let's see

00:58:04.240 i'm catholic and i have clients with very different religions and we can have like really interesting

00:58:10.240 conversations um as long as they want to like i'm not the one that determines what's relevant and

00:58:17.520 what isn't in the therapy room um i myself the more i went into therapy i kind of disconnected

00:58:27.120 somewhat from my religion because it's like sometimes people say oh whatever god's god's will

00:58:35.120 and i'm like yes god's will and also how do i become the designer of my own life you know i i do think

00:58:42.400 i'm blessed privilege all these things but also like choice in self right because when people would

00:58:47.840 say well god made me this way and i'm like okay or god wants this for me or this direction okay but

00:58:54.960 then do you have choice in your day-to-day life of how you get there where you go who you go with

00:59:03.440 you know so it's um it's taken me a little while and it's still a work in progress to understand

00:59:10.400 the balance how much i take on as my own decisions and how much um

00:59:18.480 you know some people won't even talk about god or um religion but they'll talk about spirituality

00:59:24.080 and just like is it fate you know my husband did god put him in my way or did you know was it fate or

00:59:33.440 you know have we worked really hard to get to where we are probably a little bit of all of that

00:59:38.800 i don't know that's again where universal truths are hard how would anybody factually answer that

00:59:47.920 do you prefer confession or therapy therapy yeah yeah there's a funny episode of the sopranos

00:59:57.120 where um have you seen the sopranos only a little bit um my father-in-law is always telling me to watch

01:00:02.320 it and i um i have to add it to my to my watch list yeah tony soprano the relationship with the

01:00:08.560 therapist yeah you have to watch that show i do i do i have to watch that show because tony ends up

01:00:12.560 speaking to his therapist all the time and she's a woman so he's kind of getting that the femininity

01:00:16.560 that is lacking in his life from his mom and his wife like from there okay and then he ends up like

01:00:20.320 developing a crush on her okay and then carmella his wife she starts going to confession and then

01:00:24.800 having a relationship not a relationship but like yes well a connection with the priest the priest is like

01:00:28.800 connecting and they're drinking the wine and everything and they start uh he starts like

01:00:32.560 confessing that he like has feelings for her and all this so it's a it's a funny balance between the

01:00:37.040 difference between like spirituality and therapy therapy which is like um would you agree that it's

01:00:42.800 like predominantly jewish like a lot of like there's a lot of jewish therapists i think there are yes i i think

01:00:49.360 there's a lot of fantastic um jewish doctors and therapists absolutely i did my masters with some great jewish

01:00:56.960 friends um yeah but i think you know it's not exclusive and then confession which predominantly

01:01:04.720 obviously a catholic tradition for me confession comes um usually with a lot of uh like the the

01:01:12.880 solution in confession is to go pray and god would forgive um and i'm not saying that's useful or not

01:01:19.760 again i leave room for everyone to feel however they feel about that but then what i like about therapy is

01:01:25.440 is like how do i think about things what plan do i create for prevention for adjustment how do i

01:01:32.320 take matters into my own hand um which i think is really useful because i'm a doer yeah so you think

01:01:38.640 it's more than just like 10 hell marys right because i mean yeah if if you do your 10 hell marys

01:01:43.440 and then you leave and you do the same thing over and over like i pray that you give me serenity okay

01:01:49.440 i'm not saying that's good or bad do that but then like what is your plan on how you're going to react

01:01:56.160 when you don't have serenity you know when somebody takes that serenity away what are you going to do

01:02:02.960 and that's what i think i would talk about with someone in therapy for example in this case

01:02:09.040 what's your what's your diagnosis in this conversation i don't diagnose you don't diagnose

01:02:14.000 but in terms of what what's wrong with me are you kidding me i'm not i haven't thought of that

01:02:20.400 for one minute in today's conversation that's not my lens at all okay i think we've had an incredibly

01:02:25.760 interesting conversation i think so too i think you've kept me engaged so your your thing that you

01:02:31.120 were doing of how to keep me engaged you did it that's the problem i almost forgot that how many

01:02:35.840 people are watching this um a bunch yeah yeah i forgot that's good this was engaging and

01:02:43.680 entertaining but that's the problem that i've had with therapy i've went like i went one time in

01:02:47.120 college when i was going through um a breakup and then they made me go when i was a kid like when i

01:02:52.560 had adhd well when someone told you that you had age yeah exactly when i was like which you don't

01:02:57.440 feel was accurate i don't think it's real i mean i have hype i mean it's just a certain way of

01:03:02.080 thinking anyway i'd always feel like i had to entertain the therapist oh so i'd be sitting in

01:03:06.880 this conversation like performer yeah even the one-on-one i'm like i don't want to make them

01:03:10.560 bored that i wouldn't i wouldn't be vulnerable and honest i'm like how do i keep you on your i don't

01:03:14.880 want to waste your time because i always felt like my problems were like what the what is my why am i

01:03:20.320 even here there's people that are going through real things in the world i'm sitting down on the

01:03:24.160 couch like with the some magazines but there's all sorts of therapy and i think um i like therapy for

01:03:31.120 like optimizing so you know how do i like i said at the beginning how do i get to where i want to go

01:03:37.120 what's getting in the way and i love thinking so it's very insight driven so hopefully part of the

01:03:44.480 time you weren't entertaining me and i got you to think about something differently maybe if i did that

01:03:50.640 kudos to me i think the takeaways are find a balance okay and there's a difference between accepting

01:03:58.960 flaws and accepting that people are flawed correct yes

01:04:07.600 there was one more i think what was the last one

01:04:13.520 they don't remember what do they think um oh my goodness inappropriate inappropriate 0.50

01:04:19.680 okay they're they're trolls inappropriate too

01:04:25.920 okay that's all right yeah yeah this is why you don't we're not going to take those into

01:04:29.280 consideration yeah don't yeah it's better to not read them to be honest that's fine

01:04:35.200 see you can read it that you know that was another one like you can decide who you give energy to and

01:04:40.240 who you don't so we were talking about people's truths and like you can decide not to pay attention to

01:04:45.840 some of these losers sorry no but most of you yeah nice oh that you're bored i think that was a

01:04:54.880 genuine laugh no no no it was i was not bored i was entertained yeah i can assess that for myself i 0.94

01:05:00.800 think you weren't that bored um yeah

01:05:08.320 so what did you think of this conversation since it wasn't therapy you don't i don't need to

01:05:12.720 go against your belief that you don't believe in therapy um it was good it was good i think it

01:05:18.480 confirmed my ideas that therapy is a very feminine occupation okay i think even if it was a 1.00

01:05:24.400 male you know it's interesting at first it wasn't all the really were men right yes like

01:05:29.120 freud and young yes yes bowen the one that's like the head of the theory that i practiced so

01:05:34.240 many were um males but it's greatly shifted and now um there's a lot of women what do you think the 0.94

01:05:42.080 shift was that's interesting i don't know i think um i think at first psychologists came from

01:05:48.160 psychiatry which was more intense and hardcore and very um it was very medical and then the more

01:05:57.840 the less medical it got and more into psychology which is separate from psychiatry um i don't know if

01:06:05.360 men perceive it as softer or honestly i don't know have you read freud yeah a little bit but my

01:06:12.640 background isn't mostly in psychology but rather marriage and family therapy okay yeah do you do your

01:06:18.880 reading on your psychologists and psychiatrists i've read some young okay i like his audio books about

01:06:24.960 the unconscious mind um that's stuff that i like to analyze that's because those are the times like

01:06:30.080 in prayer when i'm sleeping that's when i get to disconnect from this and then i really figure

01:06:34.880 out like that's when you start thinking for yourself what are my ideas about the world what

01:06:39.040 are my principles my values that's what makes a person that's your essence that's what makes who

01:06:44.080 you are who you are yes yeah so i like to i analyze that a lot thinking about thinking is really it's a

01:06:51.200 it's a fun pursuit and i think you could find a girl that can do that with you but thinking about

01:06:55.040 thinking is also what drives people to you know if people who overthink too much they end up going

01:07:01.120 crazy like i i think there's also a benefit like people who are like 70 iq who just think like cavemen

01:07:07.520 go around they get to go to festivals and drink bud light that exists like taylor swift people oh i'm

01:07:13.680 a taylor swift person there you guys are happy i think not all the time you don't think so okay maybe

01:07:19.600 maybe i tell you something like country music like 21 savage listeners i don't think you can

01:07:26.480 find like an artist that describes a whole population but um i hear what you're saying

01:07:31.760 simpler minds that are less uh ignorance is bliss yeah i hear that so instead of thinking internally

01:07:37.760 all the time like what's this problem this problem that's how you start finding problems that didn't

01:07:41.360 exist this is another example where i take your thinking and i'd be like how does it serve me and

01:07:46.000 how does it not serve me if i overthink can i find moments where i disconnect and maybe it's in

01:07:50.800 prayer and so you try and do more of that but then also like how is your thinking beneficial to you and

01:07:56.160 useful and um you take it to places where you want to go because there's a difference between ruminating

01:08:02.000 which is like when your thoughts kind of take over and they take the wheel and drive you to places you

01:08:07.760 don't want to go as opposed to like thinking with choice like am i asking the questions and am i asking the

01:08:12.560 right questions now you're bored no i'm not bored i'm not that's not boredom it's just like i'm

01:08:17.600 thinking about thinking about how you she's thinking about me thinking and they think think

01:08:20.800 and it's it's too much it's not boredom it's just like oh yeah i want to call the tiger

01:08:26.960 that would have been a better existence for men i think that's why we love minecraft so much and why

01:08:31.040 women love sims sims you it's third person you get to see the character and you get to dress her up and 0.86

01:08:36.560 you get to go to the party and you can see what she looks like minecraft is first person you're here

01:08:40.720 and you're just running around you're punching the dirt back to basics yeah i think women are 1.00

01:08:45.040 supposed to be analytical how they look and that's why therapy is so feminine because it's thinking 0.79

01:08:50.000 about thinking and it's thinking about how you're perceived where men were supposed to live without

01:08:53.680 that and just act and just do and that exists in our mind it exists in the world

01:08:59.760 probably there are some truths uh or generally speaking i can see part of that being true

01:09:05.280 but i will say some men like therapy with the right therapist

01:09:12.160 do you think some men like therapy just because they get to speak to a woman who's not nagging them

01:09:16.000 all the time that's an interesting question maybe possibly that may be one of the reasons

01:09:22.880 i think some men want to be able to connect to females and how they think without you know

01:09:29.280 also feeling heard and that's not always possible in relationships um some people just like a good

01:09:37.280 conversation and maybe they get it in therapy um some people maybe like results and they find them

01:09:44.560 through the conversations i don't know do people cry yeah people cry a lot of the times they apologize

01:09:50.880 for crying which i told them not to but yeah you seem like the type of person that i think you would cry

01:09:56.560 if they cried oh my god recently it happened that i had to hold back tears not all the time but

01:10:02.480 recently it did happen to me but it's not about me right so i i held them back you're an empath i am

01:10:11.520 what's going on those are longer comments yeah they just hijacked it it's yeah that we need to

01:10:16.000 remind us all right they're spending song lyrics

01:10:26.080 thank you so much thank you i appreciate it this was interesting so like elsa said just got to let it

01:10:31.360 go you knew that's what you were gonna end with i like the commitment do you remember everything you

01:10:37.760 say throughout the stream no yeah but now it exists in the ether forever so all right everybody thank

01:10:47.040 you for listening or not um thank you i appreciate you nice to meet you nice to meet you nice to meet

01:10:55.200 you nice to meet you too all righty do you want a water to go um uh that's okay i'm hoping at the park

01:11:00.320 thank you all

01:11:04.320 all right guys

01:11:12.960 i appreciate it

SNEAKO - October 11, 2024

SNEAKO's Full Conversation With A Therapist!

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