SNEAKO - July 16, 2022SNEAKO VS. TRAUMATIZED WOMAN PT. 2
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
211.3503
Summary
This episode is about navigating pleasure, joy, and all of the ways in which I stop myself from experiencing pleasure and joy. I m talking about trauma and guilt, and how we stop ourselves from making space for more of them in our lives.
Transcript
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chat has been obsessing over this telling me to react to her because she made a video saying uh
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monica versus misogynist we already reacted to that i don't feel like watching it she did make
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another video here navigating pleasure and joy when you struggle with trauma and guilt
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trauma oh yes the chat's saying watch lonica next let's just watch for a little bit i want to show
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you that they make no sense um navigating pleasure and joy when you struggle with trauma and guilt
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every one of these people all the woke people are traumatized they're all like struggle with
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happiness they don't even know how to navigate pleasure and joy i just want to show you that
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they don't make any sense let's watch this for a little bit sorry i i'm sorry already but don't
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click away just if you don't believe me she's not gonna make any sense today's video is about pleasure
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joy and all of the ways in which i stop myself a 54 minute video about navigating pleasure this is
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there's a specific genre on youtube now that's just therapy these are therapy people and it should
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be a good example for why not everybody needs therapy too many of you go too many of you validate
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all the fucking negative thoughts in your head get over it this is the therapy genre 54 minutes of her
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navigating pleasure and joy when ultimately youtube.com is supposed to be entertainment people get mad at me
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when i say that like you think that everybody's supposed to be a comedian well it's supposed to be
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entertainment at the very least or educational this is literally a zoom call therapy session
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what the fuck we stop ourselves from making space for more uh joy in our lives and today we have
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it is my pleasure to speak of pleasure i am honored pleasure she said it twice
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today's sponsor cheeks cheeks okay i fucking know that's it she gets sponsors i'm never gonna get
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ha ha ha ha ha cheeks she kind of got the gyatta angle live bro monica yo monica i miss you baby
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where you been at where you been at stop navigating pleasure and joy let me navigate all the pleasure
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and joy for you come here you hear that you can navigate all that pleasure for you monica
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yeah yeah yeah bring those cheeks right here monica baby
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stop ducking the zoom call you know you want to talk to me baby i miss you
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yeah i can make you laugh too one more time let me see that guy
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woo monica stop trying to talk about pleasure and joy and trauma look at that
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i'll make you feel better navigate all that pleasure and joy baby i miss you
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okay now back to her trauma let's see what the fuck you gotta say
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how much i try can't seem to separate pleasure from guilt pleasure from bad
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like i feel like whenever i start to feel too good things are gonna go bad
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just just turning 27 this year i'm gonna turn 27 september 4 virgo gang
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virgo gang she's 27 and doesn't know how to navigate pleasure and joy
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this is why she starts going crazy like women start going crazy at this age
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because you get to the point like oh shit i should probably have a kid by now
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but also i need to be a girl boss independent queen
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but baby yo you want a baby monica i'll give you a baby what you need
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yo five thank you for agent seek have you tried that pink vibrator on yourself before
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why did you just donate money to ask that bro somebody ban him
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is the fear of aging knowing that she's passing the fertility age 27 is the peak age to have kids
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in turning 27 this year i just keep finding myself repeating the same patterns i keep finding that
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independent of where i'm at in life of who i'm with of how how i'm doing financially how i'm doing in any single way shape or form
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i am my own enemy in a lot of cases you don't need an enemy stop trying to be financial take care of you monica what's up like you don't
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i don't even worry about nothing just monica and i need to do the work of fleshing that out
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i feel like unlike a lot of different issues pleasure is super complicated because it's not an it's not rooted in an individual thing i mean nothing
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is like rooted in a singular thing but pleasure of all things is super intertwined into every single aspect of our daily experience
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i feel like it's not necessarily a grass is always greener on the other side
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you know she goes to therapy once a week by the way she's talking
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sorry i know you're gonna cancel me but you know
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that kind of vibe like when i'm different i'll be better
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i i it's not about being better it's about realizing that i am enough
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i just kind of want to lift this burden i feel like i live in this like
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i feel like my feelings and i live in my feelings
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it's like kind of like darkness and this sort of
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and this sort of like i feel like i'm outside of a window looking in on my own life
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i've had incredible absolutely life-changing once-in-a-lifetime experiences
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and a lot of the times and it just feels kind of like
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what 27 year old woman she feels like she's trapped
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seven in the morning and she's talking about being trapped in a little kid and she's just
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but i like i think it's because i haven't figured out how to approach um the type of life that i'm worthy of
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what so in preparation for this video i picked up the pleasure activism the politics of feeling good written and i hope she doesn't start crying but
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like she's gonna read a passage from this book that's what she does in every video it's very interesting
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it's just gathered by adrienne marie brown um i have had this for a little while now and i haven't really
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and i don't even the fact that there's there's a market for this is going girls has 100k on youtube that's impressive
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i've been into it that much but i did for the sake of the video i'm still by no means finished with it
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but anyways in preparation for this i picked it up and one of the conversations in the beginning
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earlier in the book is with cara page who is a black queer feminist
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black queer feminist monica shut the fuck up monica shut the fuck up
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that's what you need not no black queer feminist you hear that that's what you need
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that's what you need man yeah not no black fear it's just just
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social worker and the writer and gatherer of the book adrienne marie brown
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they're discussing ugly lord's use of the erotic the erotic is power
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which is a very popular important text and cara page was just talking about how this specific
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this specific piece of writing was like really important for her as a woman
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it essentially became the anthem of her finding her own sexuality
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and something that she said in regards to it really stuck with me and kind of became
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what i wanted to send to this video on which is let me read the full couple
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she starts it off by saying this is why like i don't understand and i get so bored
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because youtube is supposed to be entertainment right chat am i wrong about that wl youtube should
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be funny at maybe not even funny but interesting
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like it's just people just coping everybody here is mentally ill everyone in the comment section
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but i've been struggling i've needed to hear this this video spoke to me even though i'm shaking
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and i'm literally traumatized you put it all into words you spooky bro this is not helping people
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this is just all encouraging their fucking mental illness man you're not mentally ill
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you just read these words too much black queer feminist intersex bullshit
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especially as you get older and you become more aware of the things that you've been through
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and you feel more like impacted by life how can you move forward how can you really
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make your make these sort of connections and find joy for yourself we're justifying too much
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mental illness and too much mental we're validating too much of it with too much therapy
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too much mental health talk too much lgbt these people are going nuts
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that was a big ass mosquito too that shit was gonna bite me that's what you gotta do
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smack the mosquito in its face kill it instead you're like but i don't want to trigger it
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my it's literally navigating in life and pleasure shut up life is simple we want to fuck we want
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to make money we want to cook and monica you want to go on a picnic that's what you want to do you're
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trying to be smart reading these books it's not making you happy you're going nuts when you feel
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like life has hurt you so much and when you feel like everything is so interwoven into like like a
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constellation like you're constricted by by these pains by these evils by all of this harm um so yeah
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what really sparked this uh conversation was that i feel like i don't kind of recognize myself as much
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lately and i think it's obviously the product of the difficulty of these last two years for all of us
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i feel like i'm not as adventurous as full of passion as open as full of desire anymore
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and part of that is doesn't this sound exactly like a therapy session
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you know that she goes to therapy once a week by the way she's talking by the look in her face the
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stress bitch you're just 27 you're starting to freak out you're reaching fertility age you should
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be raising kids you should be filling up my son's lunchbox with the peanut butter and jelly sandwich
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that's what's going to make you happy instead you're on the internet reading these books and in three
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years four years or something like that you're not going to be able to have kids anymore you're
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going to be too old you're going to age out of it you're going to be stuck trying to be a girl boss
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stop it you need children it's due to the deterioration of good habits that i had built
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over a long period of time growing up super depressed and not having access to mental health
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growing up it's super depressed and not having access to mental um and not having access to mental
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health professionals and like that being super taboo in my household i essentially had to learn
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how to create habits for myself through trial and error it's actually good that mental health is taboo
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we should make that taboo we should not talk we should when you start talking about it more you
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validate it more these people all think that they have a chemical imbalance they all think that
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they're mentally ill we should not validate that get over it because you sound crazy and everyone in
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this comment section is crazy what the hell's wrong with y'all bro i empathize with you so much
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monica thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable you should why are we encouraging people
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to be vulnerable about being sad get over it this is youtube fuck this is it's infiltrating
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everything i'm very lucky to have made it out relatively one can argue i'm not but relatively
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okay you know what i mean i feel like i really work hard i read a lot i wrote a lot eight percent
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females maybe you like this type of content but listen up eight percent female audience right now
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i'm speeding it up and when you listen without the mental health blah blah blah blah i empathize
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context does she make any sense does this sound sane to you
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created art i was in art school at the time as well so that puts you in a position
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chain said sego be honest you have a crush on her hell yeah i have a crush on her i'm in love with
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her she's beautiful i i'm telling i'm not ashamed monica come here monica come here let me fuck some
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sense into you oh my god how are you gonna okay fine i'm not trying to like harass her i'm just
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fucking fucking around bro you're having to constantly be more self-reflective than the average
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you know career path so i put a lot of time and effort into creating good habits that then made
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me into the person that i found myself being in my early mid-20s but with the 2020 pandemic it
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brought me to a low that i haven't really even been able to listen like financially emotionally
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physically in every single way shape and form but i think the most harmful part of what happened
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to me and it's something i've talked about in previous videos is the total distribution of
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habits of habits that like are what make adults from forgetting to like and not knowing how to
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like feed myself at what times i should eat what should i even like make what do i even buy
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like and you know and it's that's so not who i was i was i was already like building up to be so put
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together that for me to not even like be able to read my own body signals like what should i do when
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should i sleep everything kind of when should i do what should i when should i sleep she makes no
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sense you're thinking too hard you don't know how to yo let me do the thinking for you monica
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clearly it's not working you're mentally ill you're struggling navigating pleasure and joy with
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trauma trauma and guilt come on bro i got you baby i took for granted how much being a human being
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is these habits how much it is like i wake up at this time do this like clean this and how
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everything piles up i think you learned that from childhood you start to trial and error like okay
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you get this like little level of responsibility clean your room this is too much therapy she's
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cleaning her room and she doesn't know how to navigate cleaning her room bro chat's saying
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skip you're getting bored i know but i just want to prove to you how therapy's not helping a lot of
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people therapy makes it worse for people like this she's not making no fucking sense she can't
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clean her room without navigating pleasure and guilt and trauma what what think about it does that make
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sense and do some homework and then take a nap and then like you know you kind of do that and then
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you get to the point where you do that by yourself and then before you know what you're in a dope
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for me all that went out the window and this you know for 2021 essentially i was super focused on
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getting back on my feet on creating these new habits again because i had gotten to a point where
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i was like i cannot live like this i literally cannot i'm not even sustaining myself um so i think
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i have been so focused on getting back on my feet that i had a realization the other day that all
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this work and all this struggle and this desire to be better but never did i factor in joy and pleasure
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and it's not like in the past where i struggled with depression and like i'm sad i could go out but like you know i don't really
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want to do the things that i normally do like i wouldn't normally do this but like i don't want to
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do it anymore like um what the fuck are you talking about monica i don't know what to do and i don't
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know what i don't know what to do and i walk out of my room and i can't think you're just thinking too
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hard stop analyzing your own brain too much stop thinking you're depressed it makes it worse
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we need to tell these people they sound goofy because if we don't everybody's going to be mentally ill
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everybody's going to keep being depressed people are going to give up people are not going to go
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how to like make breakfast in the kitchen without fucking falling to their knees
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drama drama you're fine you're fine your life is good like i have just completely forgotten like
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my options i have completely like i'm like yo people really like go out and get dressed and like
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meet up for drinks and people really go out and get dressed and meet up for drinks you're having an
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existential crisis about food and drinks and that's fun like i and i used to do that all the time like
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i really have had a lot of like existential sort of like realizations in regards to things that are
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normal because it's been so it's not an existential realization monica's she's going to see this too
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and she might react to it and she's going to call me misogynist and stuff like that that's what she's
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going to do she's going to say i'm belittling her and the girl's going to say i can't believe you had
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to deal with that but think about it i separate that i'm not even like trying to attack her i'm
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trying to attack the mentality she has because i hear it so much now this bitch is broken from too
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much therapy think about it do you think she's going to change if she keeps going to therapy do you
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think it's going to fix look at her literally look at her face is that the face of a sane person
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the title of this video is navigating pleasure and joy when you struggle with trauma and guilt
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that makes no sense you need to stop going to therapy that's what i'm trying to point out
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you need to stop thinking you're mentally ill you're fine you need a good man you need some kids
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make a peanut butter jelly sandwich pack up their lunch and a tupperware send them to school
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have some flowers in the backyard and you'll be happy like oh yeah like i realized the other day
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i because i started listening to music i haven't listened to music in probably like over a year
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consistently like i'm in here listening to podcast podcast like just things like words to fill my
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exactly hold on let me slow that down she's not listening to music that's why she's going insane
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a lot of people can't handle information to that level they go nuts in here listening to podcast
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after podcast like just things like words to fill my head because i don't want a moment of like
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of like joy i think i don't want okay she's filling up her head with a bunch of words because she
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doesn't want to feel joy she makes absolutely no sense she makes absolutely no sense what you need
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is a good dick and down you'll be like hee hee you need to come i'm like i'm like i it feels like i
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like anytime i listen to music i get so emotional i want to cry so that's like part of the reason why
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can't even listen to music without being traumatized bro she's gonna watch this and
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she's gonna call me misogynist but monica really think about what i'm saying because you're clearly
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unhappy i realize like yo i'm really not like i'm really not okay and also for all the work that
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i'm doing and for how much better i'm doing there's still obviously so many things that i'm neglecting in
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my life i feel like generally speaking and this is why it's kind of hard yeah a lot of people like
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being depressed a lot of people uh want to live in an action someone just said in the chat they
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don't want to take responsibility for their life and being mentally ill being depressed and anxious
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takes the control away and then you're like i'm insane and so then nothing is your fault you get
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to live in the fact that you're an insane person and you gotta keep going to therapy you gotta keep
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complaining about your trauma and your guilt and then nothing is your fault hard for me to accept
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that this is something i need to work on i am content with my life right now i feel like
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things are going really well i feel like my hard work is pain what you're content you just said
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that you're not okay and that you're no break make absolutely no sense bro i feel more like myself
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every day wrong but things are still very muted i feel like i would describe it as like my internal
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oven is off i'm not full of desire and it's not even that i'm like you know why she her internal
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oven is off and she's not full of desire because she wants kids she's getting to her age where
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she's very fertile and she's not making no sense because she wants to be a girl boss but you need
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kids what's popping bro you want to hear this bitch make absolutely no sense again
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every time i come in here it's a bit of a sense
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like there's not even a fire to begin like i can't even make the fire bigger because there is no fire
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and i've gotten so used to not having a fire to being cold that like the act of even trying to
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start it is kind of like absurd i'm just like why would i do any of these things that used to bring
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me joy like why so i wanted to unpack all that and maybe talk about how we could potentially work to
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get through it so in my video setting boundaries why grown men love girls i discussed john berger's
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surveyor and survey to get into how we're in and a lot of yeah that's what i'm saying i'm saying
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monica i need to fix you she's making no sense the title of this video is navigating pleasure and joy
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when you struggle with trauma and guilt she said she just turned 27 she's fertile she needs kids i'm
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saying monica come here you need some good thinking down you're making no sense you need to come