SNEAKO - SNEAKOs Full Therapy Session With HealthyGamerGG

00:00:00.000 Hey, Dr. K.

00:00:04.960 What's up, man?

00:00:05.880 Nice to meet you.

00:00:09.580 Nice to meet you, too.

00:00:10.600 Can you just count to 10 for me real quick?

00:00:12.500 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7.

00:00:16.780 Perfect.

00:00:17.920 Perfect.

00:00:18.820 Can you count to 420 for me?

00:00:22.820 Yeah.

00:00:23.280 1, 2, 3, 4.

00:00:26.840 Okay, that's fine.

00:00:27.440 That's good.

00:00:27.840 That's good.

00:00:28.080 That sounds good.

00:00:29.280 How are you?

00:00:30.760 Good, dude.

00:00:31.160 How are you?

00:00:31.980 I'm like...

00:00:32.560 Are we streaming?

00:00:34.100 Yeah, I'm live right now on Rumble.

00:00:35.480 Okay, cool.

00:00:37.140 Are you streaming?

00:00:38.420 Nope.

00:00:39.540 Okay.

00:00:39.820 I think you're banned on all the platforms that I stream on.

00:00:42.400 Yeah, that does happen.

00:00:45.100 That does happen.

00:00:46.060 So you're a therapist?

00:00:48.400 Yes.

00:00:49.400 Okay.

00:00:49.820 Well, I'm a psychiatrist.

00:00:50.700 You're a psychiatrist.

00:00:51.540 Okay.

00:00:52.340 I don't believe in therapy, and I think it's a scam, and I don't think it's necessary,

00:00:56.500 and I don't think that even if there is anything wrong with my brain that this is going to be

00:01:00.420 helpful whatsoever.

00:01:02.160 I believe that men should just get over it and push forward.

00:01:06.600 I think a better use of your time instead of talking about your feelings is working hard

00:01:10.180 and building something.

00:01:12.580 That's a better use of your time than anything that...

00:01:14.940 Even if this was productive, my time would have been better spent making some money and

00:01:18.700 getting stronger and getting better.

00:01:20.460 But I want to be convinced that it's useful because a lot of people are talking about therapy,

00:01:25.300 and people have accused me of being mentally ill quite a bit.

00:01:29.680 They've called me mentally ill since I was a child.

00:01:32.560 I get that a lot from the internet saying,

00:01:34.020 Snego needs to go to therapy.

00:01:34.920 So maybe you can change that perception.

00:01:39.800 Okay.

00:01:40.380 So let me just make a couple things clear.

00:01:42.840 So I am a psychiatrist, but I'm not your psychiatrist.

00:01:47.160 Okay.

00:01:47.820 Is that clear?

00:01:48.580 So I'm not doing therapy with you, right?

00:01:50.800 You're not my patient.

00:01:52.080 I'm not going to be diagnosing you or treating you for anything.

00:01:56.760 Okay.

00:01:57.840 We're having a conversation.

00:01:59.300 And I didn't know what we were talking about.

00:02:01.860 We can talk about anything.

00:02:03.180 I'm just like prefacing with that.

00:02:05.640 Yeah, that's totally fine.

00:02:06.940 So, and I mean, is that what you want to talk about?

00:02:10.220 No, I want to talk about whatever you want to talk about.

00:02:12.480 Can I cry?

00:02:14.360 Sure.

00:02:15.260 Okay.

00:02:15.940 I don't know how this works.

00:02:17.500 What are we supposed to do?

00:02:19.860 That's a great question.

00:02:20.720 So, well, I mean, so was there something in particular that you were thinking about when

00:02:26.720 we last connected?

00:02:28.080 So I don't know if we reached out to you or you reached out to us or what exactly happened,

00:02:31.980 but was there something in particular that you had in mind?

00:02:37.660 Okay.

00:02:38.100 Well, what do you specialize in?

00:02:39.380 I've seen you talk to some of my friends.

00:02:41.160 You talked to Aiden for a couple hours and you were able to dissect and figure some stuff

00:02:44.320 out.

00:02:45.300 And I don't know.

00:02:47.240 I think this could be an interesting conversation.

00:02:48.720 I don't really know.

00:02:50.820 I completely agree.

00:02:51.880 I think this is going to be a very interesting conversation.

00:02:54.040 Okay.

00:02:55.320 I think it's, I would.

00:02:57.480 So let me tell you.

00:02:58.680 So you asked, how does this work?

00:03:00.080 So I think there are a couple things to consider.

00:03:02.180 Okay.

00:03:02.440 We already talked about, you know, it's not my place to do a diagnostic assessment of

00:03:07.140 you and say that you are or aren't mentally ill.

00:03:10.420 That being said, sometimes I talk to people and people will have questions about particular

00:03:19.100 things.

00:03:20.160 Sometimes those are related to mental health.

00:03:22.140 And I'm happy to answer questions about particular things or try to help people understand parts

00:03:28.100 of themselves, which a lot of times people think is the same as therapy.

00:03:31.600 That's not the same as therapy.

00:03:32.960 It's something that understanding yourself is a part of therapy, but not all paths of

00:03:38.420 self-understanding are therapy.

00:03:40.060 Does that make sense?

00:03:41.220 Yeah.

00:03:42.260 Yeah.

00:03:42.660 Um, and I, I think, I mean, I really enjoyed hearing your take on how therapy is not real

00:03:49.460 and how people should just tough it out.

00:03:51.180 It's real, but it's, it's a giant waste of time.

00:03:53.440 Like I don't think there's some people that have trauma, some people have trauma and PTSD,

00:03:57.380 I think like veterans or something like that, or if you have the really like death and the,

00:04:01.140 I can see how it can be effective, but I think most people that go to therapy, uh,

00:04:04.060 just like to hear themselves yap in real time.

00:04:05.900 I think that they like their own problems.

00:04:07.600 They like feeling like a main character and it's just a way to vent. 0.99

00:04:11.560 And it's like a pussy way of dealing with your problems. 1.00

00:04:13.780 It's an easy way out. 0.99

00:04:14.720 I think it's actually real.

00:04:15.500 I think people give themselves a lot of credit for going to therapy.

00:04:17.100 Like it's something difficult.

00:04:18.140 So I think it's really easy to sit on a couch and talk.

00:04:20.080 I think what's better is, is moving forward and trying to, you know, shove it down and

00:04:23.980 keep going.

00:04:24.480 Because even if you don't shove it down, you're still going to think about it.

00:04:26.640 I think people will have this idea that you need to process your feelings on a couch next

00:04:30.540 to a guy.

00:04:31.920 Uh, you could process your feelings like while you work.

00:04:34.600 A lot of times I'm thinking about the things that, that I'm dealing with while I'm working.

00:04:38.520 And that could be therapeutic as well.

00:04:40.620 Or prayer.

00:04:41.100 I think prayer is much more therapeutic.

00:04:43.720 Okay.

00:04:44.240 So, so when you say therapeutic, yeah, that, that's great, dude.

00:04:47.280 So let's like, I'm excited about this conversation.

00:04:49.960 Um, so let me just ask you a couple of, of things.

00:04:53.860 So when you say that you think therapy is a waste of time.

00:04:56.740 Yeah.

00:04:57.720 Um, why do you think that?

00:05:03.380 Because it's, you're, you're basically just saying, you know, the answer already.

00:05:09.000 I think you, when you, when you, when you walk into therapy, you already know the answer.

00:05:12.300 Like instinctually, you know, you know what you're supposed to do and you kind of just

00:05:16.280 want to talk about it to make yourself feel better.

00:05:18.000 So where do you get the idea that therapy is about, uh, where, where do you get your impression

00:05:25.680 of what therapy is?

00:05:28.160 Um, from everybody that talks about constantly, like, you know, I'm from New York and you all

00:05:31.900 hear all these people, Manhattan, everybody, all the libs that they talk about.

00:05:35.520 Like I was just talking to my therapist.

00:05:36.700 Oh, I just told my therapist.

00:05:37.880 Oh, my therapist, my therapist, they're calling their therapist.

00:05:39.780 I need to talk to my therapist about this.

00:05:41.140 People have relationship problems and like, Oh, we need to go talk about it to my therapist

00:05:44.260 for five hours and have a deep therapy, therapy, therapy, therapy.

00:05:46.940 Like it's, it's just, it's been way more normalized.

00:05:49.260 And I think they prescribe a lot of problems that you always come back.

00:05:52.740 It's the same reason why the pharmaceutical companies do not want you to be healthy so that you

00:05:56.440 continue to buy their medicine.

00:05:58.320 If I go to a therapist, your job is to take my money from my mental health problems.

00:06:01.940 Why would you want me to get better?

00:06:03.080 You don't, you want me to keep coming back and paying you.

00:06:05.060 So you're going to tell me, Oh, come back next week.

00:06:07.420 And we'll unpack this and we'll unpack that.

00:06:09.740 I don't need to unpack all this from childhood.

00:06:11.400 I'm going to know I'm 25.

00:06:13.100 I'm going to shove it down and keep going.

00:06:15.320 I want to, I want to unpack this stuff.

00:06:17.420 Okay.

00:06:18.780 Uh, what, what has happened when you've tried to unpack it?

00:06:24.000 Um, unpack, unpack what?

00:06:26.460 So you, you said, you said that like, I don't want to unpack it.

00:06:30.080 I want to shove it down.

00:06:31.320 Yeah.

00:06:31.560 Like what, what, what is, so obviously you,

00:06:35.060 you'd want to do that for a reason.

00:06:36.480 Right.

00:06:36.800 So you've had some experience that makes you prefer.

00:06:39.600 Well, I'm speaking, I'm speaking generally.

00:06:41.500 I'm speaking generally.

00:06:42.140 Like people will talk about how they, they go into therapy and unpack all this stuff.

00:06:45.700 Uh, it's better.

00:06:47.320 Like, I don't understand why people are 35 reliving all that. 1.00

00:06:51.040 Well, I get it, but I just think that's a stupid decision. 0.99

00:06:54.000 Well, what, what, what do you, what do you get? 0.99

00:06:56.440 When you say you get it? 1.00

00:06:57.380 What, why do you think all these stupid people are in therapy? 1.00

00:07:01.260 What do you mean get it? 1.00

00:07:02.760 Like, well, you say, you said you get it.

00:07:05.520 So I'm curious, what do you get?

00:07:07.160 Why do you think all these people are in therapy?

00:07:08.880 If it's such a colossal waste of time and, and essentially a monetary leech.

00:07:12.400 Because it's easier to talk about things rather than find an action that's going to, it's

00:07:18.060 easier to talk your way out of a problem than, than work your way out of it.

00:07:20.900 Working is hard, pushing forward and doing things that are difficult.

00:07:24.160 That's harder, right?

00:07:25.440 Like I consider the gym therapeutic.

00:07:27.040 I consider sparring.

00:07:27.920 I spar quite a bit.

00:07:29.080 I consider that therapeutic.

00:07:30.420 Yeah.

00:07:30.900 So I think those things are therapeutic too.

00:07:32.620 And, and I, I mean, I'll be the first to say that I don't think therapy is therapeutic

00:07:36.980 for everyone.

00:07:37.600 I think that the concerns that you have are actually like quite valid in terms of, I think

00:07:44.200 sometimes therapy goes on way longer than it needs to.

00:07:48.060 I don't really think that in my experience, people, most therapists that I know are not

00:07:56.020 interested in keeping people there for monetary reasons.

00:07:59.220 And this very simple reason for that is there's no shortage of patients.

00:08:02.780 So if you stop paying me, there's like literally a line out the door of like hundreds of

00:08:07.420 people, like the average waiting list for a therapist is like three or four months.

00:08:11.740 Wait, when you see like a blue hair transgender walk in, you don't like rub your hands together 1.00

00:08:16.200 like, no, like when you see like a dude that looks like a girl with kitten ears, like what

00:08:22.060 makes me go, what makes me go like this is listening to you talk about therapy.

00:08:28.200 Why?

00:08:31.780 Cause I, I think that there's, there's like a lot of stuff to talk about that excites me.

00:08:35.800 Um, it's, it's, it's not the blue haired transgenders, man. 1.00

00:08:42.000 It's, it's, uh, dudes who, dudes who focus on shoving it down and action and, and don't

00:08:48.060 have, don't care to engage with their internal environment, which is a little bit of a judgment

00:08:53.720 because I don't know that that's actually the case with you, but I, I, yeah, I mean,

00:08:57.240 this, this excites me.

00:08:58.480 Um, but anyway, what do you think about what I said about, you know, with their waiting

00:09:03.580 lists, 50% of therapists are, don't take new patients.

00:09:07.160 Like we're full up, like we don't need your particular money because there's like tons

00:09:12.400 of people that are waiting to give us their money.

00:09:14.480 Okay.

00:09:15.160 What do you think about that?

00:09:16.260 Fair, but maybe the whole system works together.

00:09:18.340 The pharmaceutical companies, the therapists, they all work on the fact that people's mental

00:09:22.700 health, people are always talking about mental health.

00:09:25.240 They all profit off of that and, uh, in a world where people fix their problems with

00:09:30.080 prayer and with gym, that whole industry would never exist at all.

00:09:34.040 So even though you might not need more patients, it's all based on the fact that everybody's

00:09:38.000 diagnosing themselves in real time.

00:09:40.440 Well, so, so let me ask you this.

00:09:41.980 Um, so when you said to fix their problems with prayer, how does that work?

00:09:46.340 Well, I just came back from Mecca and you could see people, you call to Jew when you put

00:09:51.040 your, your head to the floor.

00:09:53.440 Um, and you see people sometimes like sobbing or when you go to the Majid on Friday, I'm

00:09:57.700 going to go tomorrow at 1 PM for, for Juma.

00:09:59.460 You see people like crying and it's because they're, they're definitely thinking of things

00:10:04.280 that they're, they're asking God for, for certain things to be fixed.

00:10:08.340 And I consider that therapeutic, that, that same type of tear that they, um, crying that

00:10:12.180 they might do in therapy and said they're, they're connecting with God.

00:10:14.980 I think all those problems, like opening up about unpacking stuff like that, you should

00:10:18.940 unpack it with God.

00:10:20.160 You know, I, I, I see them and the way that they are, and I felt it too.

00:10:24.420 When I was in Mecca, for example, and praying next to the Cabo, I really felt everything that

00:10:29.920 was going on in my head and everything.

00:10:31.300 It's not like I have to shut it down.

00:10:32.620 I know everything that that's there, but it becomes present when you're in the, when

00:10:39.000 you're in prayer, you, you're feeling, you're thinking about it.

00:10:41.720 You're, you're reminded of everybody you love.

00:10:43.420 You're reminded of your past.

00:10:44.840 You're reminded of your flaws.

00:10:45.940 You're reminded of what you want to do better on.

00:10:47.520 You're reminded of your fears and everything.

00:10:49.660 And then you, you look to God for strength and for guidance and to keep you on the straight

00:10:53.460 path.

00:10:54.780 Okay.

00:10:55.600 So, um, let me just make sure I heard you.

00:10:57.940 So when you pray, so it sounds like you feel a lot of positive emotions and negative too.

00:11:04.600 Like I wouldn't say positive too, but like, yeah, everything, everything.

00:11:08.060 Yeah.

00:11:08.420 I wasn't done.

00:11:08.900 So you said you feel a lot of love.

00:11:10.160 You feel a lot of fear, right?

00:11:11.600 You think about people that you love.

00:11:13.020 You also think about actions that you want to take in places that you want to go.

00:11:18.920 So you have goals that you think of.

00:11:21.220 Right.

00:11:22.340 And then, and then what, help me understand this part about God.

00:11:26.020 Where does God enter, enter the picture?

00:11:28.760 I would prefer, I can understand why therapy is helpful for a lot of people, but I think

00:11:32.480 it's better to go and talk that out.

00:11:34.640 Talk about your trauma and your past to God rather than to a man.

00:11:37.500 Okay.

00:11:38.700 Okay.

00:11:39.400 So I'm, I'm not trying to debate you.

00:11:42.200 Okay.

00:11:42.320 So I'm not trying to like catch you or something.

00:11:44.200 I'm just, I'm confused.

00:11:46.100 Um, because now you're saying you, you think that therapy can be helpful for other people,

00:11:50.380 but prayer is superior.

00:11:51.780 Yes.

00:11:53.240 So there is some benefit to therapy because it sounds like a lot of the, I'm assuming

00:11:58.780 that you think a lot of the mechanisms are saying you, you talk about your positive

00:12:02.380 emotions.

00:12:02.720 You talk about your negative emotions.

00:12:04.060 You talk about your goals.

00:12:04.820 You can do that with a person, but it's better to do it with God.

00:12:07.280 Yes.

00:12:08.080 What makes it better with God?

00:12:09.840 Because I don't believe in confessing your deepest, darkest secrets and sins.

00:12:13.420 I think that you're going to embellish the truth.

00:12:15.740 Uh, I went to therapy one time I was 19 and I, I was talking to this woman.

00:12:19.560 I was basically like, um, head over heels about this girl.

00:12:22.500 I was in college and like, it was just a lot of things I was just like going through

00:12:25.380 like a, so I decided, all right, like everybody's doing this therapy thing.

00:12:28.320 I'll pay her. 1.00

00:12:29.100 And then she had giant tits. 1.00

00:12:30.760 Uh, she was like really gorgeous. 0.99

00:12:32.060 And so I ended up embellishing the story.

00:12:33.800 And instead of like actually being honest, I was just trying to like, you know, I was

00:12:37.980 like spitting game on her.

00:12:38.900 Like I was on a date and I realized in that moment, like, I can't fully be honest with

00:12:42.040 the person because the only person you could really be honest with is God, uh, to a person

00:12:46.360 you're always going to be, there's going to be a level of entertainment.

00:12:48.240 There's going to be a level of lying.

00:12:49.320 You're going to try to, uh, make sure that they're engaged.

00:12:52.140 You're going to try, your ego is going to be involved when I'm talking to God.

00:12:55.540 I don't have any ego.

00:12:56.740 So there's, there's nothing, there's nothing that I need to hide or it's just cause God

00:13:01.560 is all knowing God's the best of planners.

00:13:03.800 So he's going to know.

00:13:05.740 And I, I even noticed that a lot when I was praying in Mecca, I felt all the, the ego and

00:13:10.500 the little blockades that I had in my head and the, the barriers that you have when you

00:13:16.440 talk to a person, they're absent when I talk to God.

00:13:20.040 Okay.

00:13:25.300 Can I think for a second?

00:13:26.640 Yeah.

00:13:28.200 How's this conversation so far, by the way?

00:13:31.120 Interesting.

00:13:32.120 Okay.

00:13:35.140 So let me just make sure I understood. 0.99

00:13:36.960 So you tried therapy once and, uh, because your therapist had big tits, it sounds like you 1.00

00:13:45.180 activated a different mode of relating to that person. 0.99

00:13:50.040 So you started like hitting on her.

00:13:53.120 I remember like telling the story and I was like, even my gestures, I was like, all right,

00:13:57.020 so boom.

00:13:57.520 So I was at the spot and then we really did it.

00:13:59.820 And like, I'm making them like, you know, I got this girl and I'm doing my thing.

00:14:02.500 And I was just like talking, like I was talking to like, I was trying to come off cool.

00:14:07.040 Yeah.

00:14:07.220 So would you say that what you did for that hour with that person was therapy?

00:14:15.380 Bad therapy.

00:14:18.300 What made it bad?

00:14:20.040 Actually, think, think about it.

00:14:24.520 Like I did learn some things and I didn't need to go back anymore.

00:14:28.620 So yeah.

00:14:30.700 Yeah.

00:14:31.240 But I think the reason it was effective was because I realized that I don't need therapy.

00:14:36.040 Like it just helped me realize that this is unnecessary.

00:14:38.540 So I did get to talk things out.

00:14:39.940 Yeah.

00:14:40.260 I see what you're saying.

00:14:41.240 Hold on.

00:14:41.660 Okay.

00:14:41.900 Okay.

00:14:42.260 I'm honestly, I'm not trying to like debate you or like, I have no interest in proving

00:14:48.480 you wrong. 0.62

00:14:49.120 Honestly, I have no interest in that.

00:14:50.840 Okay.

00:14:51.920 It's just, I'm just like kind of curious because here you are saying, okay, I tried

00:14:55.340 therapy, but it sounds like, it's kind of like saying like, okay, swimming is a waste

00:15:01.080 of time.

00:15:01.960 And then you asked me like, why do you think it's a waste of time?

00:15:04.600 And well, I went to the beach and like, I never really got in the water.

00:15:07.860 I just hung out on the sand and like swimming is a waste of time.

00:15:10.780 Right.

00:15:11.160 So you went there, you did something, but I mean, you're telling me that you treated this

00:15:17.260 person.

00:15:17.760 You didn't do therapy.

00:15:18.740 You started flexing for her.

00:15:21.940 Yeah.

00:15:22.640 Right.

00:15:23.000 That's not therapy.

00:15:24.540 Okay.

00:15:25.600 Now.

00:15:26.100 And I think that that's fair, right?

00:15:28.500 Because you're also saying that, okay, like the problem with therapy is that when you

00:15:32.560 go, you can't be completely vulnerable or honest with another human being because, and

00:15:39.860 so some kind of script, and I would guess if I asked you like, okay, let's say that 0.99

00:15:43.940 you didn't, there wasn't a female therapist with big tits. 1.00

00:15:46.880 Let's say the therapist was like, I don't know, a middle-aged dude, you would still be 0.99

00:15:53.800 activating some kind of script with them.

00:15:56.220 Yeah.

00:15:57.320 Right.

00:15:57.800 Right.

00:15:58.300 And so what I'm hearing you say is that the cool thing with God is that there's no

00:16:01.760 scripts.

00:16:02.560 Right.

00:16:04.760 So I'm kind of curious about something.

00:16:07.900 So like one of the advantages of therapy, right, is that there's another human being

00:16:13.420 there.

00:16:13.740 Now that's a disadvantage because now ego enters the picture.

00:16:17.760 Maybe you're trying to impress them.

00:16:19.660 Maybe you don't want to be vulnerable, like totally fine.

00:16:22.460 But there's also an advantage, which is that there's a person there, right?

00:16:26.820 So they're able to listen.

00:16:28.680 They're able to respond.

00:16:30.420 They're able to interact.

00:16:32.080 They're able to observe.

00:16:34.700 And, and maybe I'm making an assumption here.

00:16:37.000 So I'm going to ask about this.

00:16:38.340 Do you think that God does those things?

00:16:41.240 Observes and listens and, and talks back?

00:16:46.580 Yeah, I do.

00:16:48.200 And, and in what way?

00:16:49.760 If you, if you, if you want something, you're looking for some sort of guidance, you can

00:16:56.120 ask God and you'll, God will respond.

00:16:59.160 How?

00:17:00.440 Not in the way that a human does, but there, there is a response.

00:17:03.160 And it's just, it's just, it's kind of instinctual.

00:17:06.460 Uh, and you know, like you, you, you can, he'll tell you what you, what you should be

00:17:13.440 doing.

00:17:13.720 Cause I think deep down, you always do know the answer.

00:17:15.680 So, so when you say, so you're saying that God will tell you, and then you're saying deep

00:17:21.020 down, you know, the answer.

00:17:22.060 So are we, is, are we saying that deep down the voice that's talking to you is God?

00:17:27.120 Is that you or is that God?

00:17:28.460 Or am I not understanding the?

00:17:30.840 Well, I mean, we all, we're all God's creation.

00:17:32.620 So we have, there's a sort of connection.

00:17:35.500 I think deep down, you all know, because we're all born pure and then we start to become

00:17:41.100 corrupted with sin.

00:17:42.100 We start to become corrupted by what's around us.

00:17:43.900 And then that's what creates the blockade.

00:17:45.860 So like behind all the ego, behind the mess and the programming, you know what the truth

00:17:50.840 is, but you can ask God when you, when you drop it and you're able to, to hear his guidance.

00:17:59.000 Okay.

00:17:59.520 What makes it easier or harder to hear his guidance?

00:18:02.900 I think it's actually, in a lot of ways, it's harder.

00:18:05.680 It's not easy to, to be vulnerable like that.

00:18:09.100 It's, it's not easy to, to get to that point.

00:18:11.100 It took me a long time, but I do know it's possible after consistently praying.

00:18:17.380 Right.

00:18:17.840 So, so what makes it easier or harder to hear God's voice?

00:18:20.860 Because you said sometimes it's here and sometimes it's harder.

00:18:22.860 I'd agree.

00:18:24.520 Well, you have to fully, it's full, full submission to God.

00:18:28.100 And there's a lot of like, sometimes people aren't able to do that because they're sinning

00:18:31.940 or sometimes people aren't able to do that because they're too angry.

00:18:36.520 They're too emotional.

00:18:37.080 Depends on what state you are in life.

00:18:38.620 But if you can get to that point, then, then you're able to communicate with God.

00:18:41.940 So, okay.

00:18:43.820 So I'm hearing that, I'm with you, that if you're able to get to that point, it's great.

00:18:50.120 Right.

00:18:50.460 So you, you hear some kind of voice or some kind of knowing or instinct or connect with

00:18:54.800 the divinity within you.

00:18:55.820 Is it cool if I call it that?

00:18:58.700 Yeah.

00:18:59.460 Okay.

00:19:00.880 But I'm also hearing that it's not entirely clear what the mechanism or methodology to

00:19:07.440 connect with God is.

00:19:08.860 So there's certain things that get in the way, maybe angry, anger, maybe sin.

00:19:13.460 But even if I'm not angry or I'm not sinning, does that guarantee I will hear God's voice?

00:19:19.860 No.

00:19:20.240 Or, right.

00:19:21.380 So then, then what else goes into it?

00:19:24.580 Fear.

00:19:25.640 It could be like sometimes, for example, well, I'll give you Islam, for example, because 0.74

00:19:30.460 I'm a Muslim and a lot of people connect with God in different ways.

00:19:33.500 And I don't think any of that is inherently wrong.

00:19:35.360 But for example, when you pray in Islam, you're supposed to make wudu before, which is cleansing 1.00

00:19:39.960 yourself.

00:19:40.360 You're supposed to wash your arms, wash your feet.

00:19:42.140 You're supposed to wash your face, your ears and everything.

00:19:44.480 You're supposed to be in a clean state.

00:19:46.580 Even when you pray in Mecca, you're supposed to be wearing a white garment that's clean. 1.00

00:19:49.480 Like there's, there's a way to purify yourself and make sure you have true intentions.

00:19:53.260 Even when you're washing yourself before prayer, you're supposed to make sure, like

00:19:56.220 the whole point is to make clear intentions that I'm going to pray or else your prayer

00:20:00.740 isn't accepted.

00:20:01.680 Like even when you, when you get your knees and put your head to the floor, you can't

00:20:05.680 just go through the motions and expect to be able to connect with God.

00:20:08.580 You have to have clear intentions to do that.

00:20:10.600 So I think there's a lot of things if you're emotional or if you don't have faith, sometimes

00:20:15.560 people just don't have faith.

00:20:16.720 Like there's, there's a lot of things that can block your faith.

00:20:19.480 Okay.

00:20:20.780 So then let's say I'm having trouble, right?

00:20:22.780 Let's say I don't really have faith or I'm afraid or I'm angry.

00:20:28.760 Actually, forget about that.

00:20:30.220 I realized I was slipping into an, uh, a debating kind of mode.

00:20:33.940 So I'll just say what I'm going to say.

00:20:35.420 Okay.

00:20:35.640 Um, so here's, here's where I think there's an advantage to therapy.

00:20:39.880 So I, I, I completely agree with everything that you've said.

00:20:42.980 Okay.

00:20:43.880 I think the challenge though, is that what you're sort of talking about is like difficulties

00:20:47.700 within you.

00:20:48.400 So like, let's just take faith, for example.

00:20:50.080 So not having faith is like really tricky, right?

00:20:54.020 Because if faith is not something that is born of logic, it's born of faith.

00:20:59.620 It's the belief in something.

00:21:01.680 And if you really look at it, technically, you can't have a faith.

00:21:04.800 You can't have faith.

00:21:05.660 If you have knowledge, because knowledge, knowledge is when you know something.

00:21:09.060 Faith is when you believe something, right?

00:21:10.740 You have faith in something.

00:21:11.720 Agreed there.

00:21:12.740 And I'm not trying to argue with you.

00:21:13.860 I'm just, I'm laying out how my understanding.

00:21:15.880 I understand what you're saying.

00:21:17.440 Yeah.

00:21:17.620 So I think the big advantage of therapy is that you've got like another human being.

00:21:22.160 So if you have other problems, right?

00:21:24.540 So like, if you have, let's say fear or anger or a lack of faith, that there's actually like

00:21:29.800 another human being there to help you with those barriers.

00:21:34.860 Right.

00:21:35.500 But humans are inherently flawed and we're never going to be perfect.

00:21:39.520 So absolutely.

00:21:40.360 You're, I mean, a therapist's advice is always going to be inferior to God's because God's

00:21:45.880 all-knowing and God is perfect and God's more intelligent than us, but there's, I don't

00:21:49.100 think that there's any human that's better than me or smarter or that knows anything that

00:21:54.080 I don't know because we're all created equal.

00:21:56.780 So, I mean, it's good to kind of voice those things.

00:21:59.940 And that's why that therapy session that I had with the, with that woman, with the giant

00:22:03.600 breast was effective because I just, I realized something.

00:22:07.560 She didn't tell me anything.

00:22:08.960 It was just me talking that made me realize that this is useless and I don't need this.

00:22:12.680 I think when you talk to, to the subject, yeah.

00:22:15.200 So, hold on, hold on a second.

00:22:16.240 So, so, so I'm not, I don't, once again, I don't disagree with any of your premises.

00:22:21.200 I just don't, I come to a different conclusion.

00:22:24.580 So you kind of said, I'm with you, that human beings are flawed, right?

00:22:28.200 And so, but just because a human being is flawed doesn't mean that a human being can't

00:22:32.080 help another human being.

00:22:34.460 True.

00:22:35.300 I'm not, I'm not saying it's completely useless.

00:22:37.320 I'm just saying that prayer is better.

00:22:43.280 Okay.

00:22:43.680 And I think people like the echo chamber and have a certain level of narcissism.

00:22:47.620 I think if you keep going back to therapy, like that long without any solution, you just

00:22:51.960 kind of like hearing yourself talk.

00:22:54.320 Well, I mean, when you say that long without any kind of solution, like what's your understanding

00:22:58.220 of, what's your understanding of like the course and outcomes around therapy?

00:23:04.680 There's a lot of people that I know.

00:23:07.060 I'm sure you know these people too.

00:23:07.880 They have their, the therapist on speed dial and they talk, they talk about the therapist

00:23:11.000 like they're friends.

00:23:12.640 You know, I, I don't, I don't think that's the majority of people.

00:23:15.980 I think that is a tiny, tiny fraction of people.

00:23:19.240 I would guess less than 5%.

00:23:21.020 So I know that for example, like part of our training as therapists is that we set very

00:23:26.000 clear boundaries.

00:23:26.580 We're not your friend.

00:23:27.500 So you're not supposed to be texting us all the time.

00:23:30.340 So when, when a patient texts or calls me at like 8 PM, I'll answer because they don't

00:23:36.420 usually do that.

00:23:37.880 And then I'll ask them, Hey, can this wait until our appointment?

00:23:40.920 Or do you really need to talk to me now?

00:23:42.780 Or do you need to go to the emergency room or like what's going on?

00:23:45.580 So, so I, I don't, I don't think that we, because a lot of what I'm really confused

00:23:49.240 about is that I think a lot of your understanding of therapy is, is based on, I'm not quite sure

00:23:54.120 what, like what you've heard, I guess, I guess my understanding is it's a lot of, uh, a lot

00:24:00.720 of liberals who, who prioritize feelings over facts, the people that, that, yeah, the people

00:24:08.200 that usually go to therapy, just, I don't think that they're based in, in reality.

00:24:12.780 I think that they, they like trivializing their lives and they're just not that interesting

00:24:18.100 and they want to make it more interesting by, by making up problems and unpacking everything.

00:24:22.000 So where, where does that, where, where do you, where do you get that?

00:24:26.160 Right.

00:24:26.440 So like there is, for example, you said that they're like interested in feelings instead

00:24:30.160 of facts.

00:24:31.560 So like, where, where do you get that impression?

00:24:34.560 Like, have you, I'm just so, I'm confused by that.

00:24:38.180 For example.

00:24:38.640 Because you're, you're drawing, you're drawing a lot of conclusive statements.

00:24:43.400 And I'm curious.

00:24:44.340 They have something called like gender affirming care.

00:24:46.720 I remember having this in school where they, there was, we had like social workers and therapists

00:24:50.580 that were designed there.

00:24:52.000 And there were rooms for safe places where there was like a psych, a psychotherapist or

00:24:57.280 a psychiatrist.

00:24:57.820 And they would just talk and they would just talk about their feelings.

00:25:00.280 And then it was always, they had like rainbow stickers on the front and all these people

00:25:05.280 that were, that ended up becoming transgender or becoming gender fluid, they were always constantly 0.96

00:25:09.340 in therapy.

00:25:09.860 Or like I went to school with a bunch of depressed kids or kids who thought they were depressed.

00:25:14.900 All these kids were on SSRIs.

00:25:16.500 Uh, they were all, uh, they said they were anxious.

00:25:19.340 They were constantly popping pills.

00:25:20.800 Um, and they all had the same political ideology.

00:25:25.120 It's, it was sort of like centered around the fact that weakness is okay.

00:25:28.160 They didn't see strength as a virtue.

00:25:29.740 They saw weakness as something to, to lean into.

00:25:32.860 How do you know that what they saw that I'm, I'm confused.

00:25:37.640 Like what, what, how do you know what they see?

00:25:40.340 I mean, by talking to, I guess I can't, I don't, but talking to them all the time to

00:25:48.440 see, like the people that were constantly going to therapy in my school were the gender

00:25:54.360 fluid people, the people that didn't believe in it.

00:25:56.920 And the people that were like on a different political idea, like they, they were the ones

00:26:00.100 playing sports, uh, working out constantly and who are, uh, who were like trying to build

00:26:05.460 something.

00:26:07.340 Okay.

00:26:08.260 So, so I, I'm, I'm sort of seeing like there, there's that, that just the way that you're

00:26:12.440 viewing things is that there's a lot of like correlations.

00:26:15.540 Yeah.

00:26:16.180 So going to therapy is correlated with weakness, with liberalism, related with a political ideology

00:26:22.580 is correlated with not exercising is correlated with not doing things.

00:26:28.460 Yep.

00:26:30.240 Um, inaction.

00:26:35.460 Let me just think about, why are we having this conversation?

00:26:47.560 Because maybe I'm wrong.

00:26:50.120 Maybe my way of thinking is, is incorrect.

00:26:52.160 I consider, I think it's pretty polarizing.

00:26:54.060 Uh, when I talk about this, it upsets a lot of people.

00:26:57.000 Um, so maybe, maybe my worldview was wrong and, um, maybe yours is right.

00:27:02.620 And maybe therapy is necessary.

00:27:04.200 Uh, maybe I need it.

00:27:07.280 What do you think?

00:27:08.440 I don't, I believe why the reason I believe what I believe is because I think I'm right.

00:27:13.580 Okay.

00:27:14.640 Um, yeah.

00:27:15.360 So, so that, that's, what's so interesting.

00:27:17.440 So here's my experience of this conversation.

00:27:19.300 So you say things in ways that are very polemic.

00:27:22.540 So like a polar.

00:27:24.020 So you say things in a way that invites me to argue with you and try to prove you wrong.

00:27:29.260 Like just the, the statements that you make.

00:27:31.160 And I can see why people are like inflamed by that.

00:27:34.720 And if I don't try really hard to catch myself, then I will start arguing with you.

00:27:41.660 Right.

00:27:41.980 Why are you smiling right now?

00:27:44.360 Cause you're right.

00:27:45.200 Cause you're, you're completely right.

00:27:47.040 That's just my way.

00:27:48.080 People, people tell me that quite a bit.

00:27:49.560 I have like a argumentative style of speaking.

00:27:53.020 That's not the question that I asked.

00:27:54.480 I asked, why are you smiling?

00:27:56.060 I'm smiling because you're right.

00:27:58.300 So what is the correlation with me being right and you smiling?

00:28:02.160 That in 20 minutes you picked up on what, um, you know, my friends and family have been saying for years.

00:28:08.100 Okay.

00:28:08.840 And when I pick up on something that your friends and family have been saying for years.

00:28:13.700 So that's just like a fact, right?

00:28:15.880 Like I picked up on it.

00:28:17.420 Yes.

00:28:17.600 But you have a reaction to that, which is that you're smiling.

00:28:22.320 Right.

00:28:22.880 So that reaction comes with an emotion.

00:28:27.160 Yes.

00:28:27.660 That's what the reaction is.

00:28:29.080 Yes.

00:28:29.300 What's the emotion?

00:28:29.800 The emotion.

00:28:32.000 Um, I think I get like a dopamine hit from, I like, I like, it's not an emotion.

00:28:36.900 What's up?

00:28:37.900 Dopamine is not an emotion.

00:28:39.680 Um, so emotion.

00:28:41.260 Laughter. 0.96

00:28:43.300 Laughter is an, and I'm not trying to make you sound stupid here, but laughter is not an action. 0.98

00:28:47.160 So let's think about it. 0.97

00:28:48.100 What's the emotion?

00:28:49.180 Um, joy is the expression.

00:28:51.540 Yeah.

00:28:52.040 Okay.

00:28:52.340 Right.

00:28:53.100 So like, how do you understand that?

00:28:55.160 Like here I am noticing something about you and your reaction is joy.

00:28:59.800 Okay.

00:29:02.740 I, I, I, I like connecting with people.

00:29:05.340 Yeah.

00:29:05.780 Right.

00:29:06.180 Is this, that feel good?

00:29:07.320 Yeah.

00:29:08.160 Is this weakness?

00:29:09.120 Is what we're doing weakness?

00:29:11.080 No, but it's a strength.

00:29:13.080 It's a strength.

00:29:13.960 No, it's just a conversation.

00:29:15.000 Like this, this is similar to most.

00:29:17.100 Yeah.

00:29:17.680 Okay.

00:29:18.480 Right.

00:29:18.760 So it's neither weakness or strength.

00:29:20.180 It's just, we're connecting.

00:29:21.580 Yeah.

00:29:21.940 Feels good to connect.

00:29:23.980 Yeah.

00:29:25.000 Yeah.

00:29:25.740 Yeah.

00:29:26.100 Does it, does it make us weak to connect?

00:29:29.400 No.

00:29:30.640 Does it make us strong to connect?

00:29:33.560 Um, neither.

00:29:36.160 Well, yeah, it does.

00:29:37.080 Yeah, it does.

00:29:37.440 Yeah, it does.

00:29:37.760 Yeah, it does.

00:29:38.740 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

00:29:40.140 How?

00:29:40.720 What, what's so?

00:29:42.020 Because, uh, you're stronger in groups.

00:29:44.300 So if I connect with somebody and then we, you know, we go forward, there's two of us

00:29:48.760 instead of one.

00:29:49.560 Oh, so there's value to connection.

00:29:52.240 Yeah.

00:29:53.380 Okay.

00:29:56.720 So I think that like, this is, we're not doing therapy, but I think that we just experienced

00:30:02.680 what I would call one of the benefits of therapy, which is to be seen.

00:30:06.700 So I know that, I know you're putting on an act and yet it feels good to like see through

00:30:15.320 it.

00:30:15.780 Right?

00:30:16.220 Like I kind of saw through it and that feels good.

00:30:22.300 I'm not, and this is the other thing is I'm not judging you for it. 1.00

00:30:25.180 I'm not saying like, Hey bro, you're an asshole for doing this. 1.00

00:30:27.980 Why do you do this? 1.00

00:30:28.740 I don't get angry with you.

00:30:29.540 I imagine a lot of people get angry with you.

00:30:31.700 Yeah, that's true.

00:30:32.780 And that must be tough for you.

00:30:37.460 Uh, or maybe we can talk about it.

00:30:39.280 Let me, let me, let me, let me, let me, let me rephrase.

00:30:41.680 I'll let you go.

00:30:42.240 I'll let you go.

00:30:42.860 It used to be tough for you, but now you're better at it.

00:30:46.140 Now you're stronger.

00:30:47.080 Now you know how to pray and you have faith in God.

00:30:48.900 So it's no longer a problem that people are angry, angry with you.

00:30:51.420 Right?

00:30:52.380 No, no.

00:30:54.400 No, no.

00:30:55.000 Meaning what?

00:30:55.400 Um, also the kind of reason I laugh, I kind of like, um, I like making people react.

00:31:02.700 I like, like, even if it's laughter, I have the same sort of reaction to when people get

00:31:08.600 upset.

00:31:09.160 I like being able to say stuff and then people go, huh?

00:31:11.800 Or laugh or like, I like having an effect on people.

00:31:16.280 Yeah.

00:31:16.680 So like when I say like a racial slur and then people, like, that's really fun for me. 1.00

00:31:21.440 How do you, how do you understand?

00:31:23.400 So first of all, is that common for many people?

00:31:28.860 I don't think it's as common as, no, I don't think it's that common.

00:31:32.260 Yeah.

00:31:32.920 I'd, I'd agree.

00:31:33.880 Maybe everyone likes it a little bit, but not as much as you.

00:31:36.700 I like it more than most people.

00:31:37.680 Yeah.

00:31:38.140 Yeah.

00:31:38.580 How do you understand that?

00:31:40.520 I don't know.

00:31:41.300 It's just always been that way.

00:31:42.480 It's always been that way.

00:31:44.240 Are you interested in understanding it?

00:31:46.480 Yes.

00:31:50.000 Okay.

00:31:50.520 So what?

00:31:51.980 What's that expression?

00:31:54.600 Um, cause now it's like, I'm thinking you're going to like dig into my past to figure out

00:31:58.980 like why, why that is.

00:32:01.140 I don't need to, I already know the answer.

00:32:02.920 What's the answer?

00:32:04.080 I'm not going to tell you yet.

00:32:05.360 Huh?

00:32:08.320 I'm not going to, you're, we don't need to dig into your past.

00:32:11.840 We don't need, we don't need to, we can do that if you want to, but we're going to,

00:32:16.120 we're going to talk about it.

00:32:17.040 We're going to figure it out together, right?

00:32:18.560 Cause connected ape strong together, right? 0.98

00:32:22.920 Yes.

00:32:23.700 That's working together.

00:32:24.620 Yes.

00:32:24.900 Okay.

00:32:25.640 Okay.

00:32:25.900 So let's think through it.

00:32:27.800 Right.

00:32:28.260 So, um, and, and see, even the way that I'm talking to you is changing.

00:32:32.540 So what, what, have you noticed that I'm changing?

00:32:35.360 Yeah.

00:32:35.740 We have more, uh, defense mechanisms and now they're dropping.

00:32:39.140 Oh, okay.

00:32:39.560 Interesting.

00:32:39.940 Yeah.

00:32:40.140 So, so, you know what I'm doing to drop your defense mechanisms?

00:32:42.540 Um, you're saying things to make me feel welcomed and like, I'm, you're understanding.

00:32:49.140 Yeah.

00:32:49.580 And what am I saying to you to make you feel welcome?

00:32:52.560 Um, it's, it's everything.

00:32:55.760 Oh my God, Sneaker, you're so great.

00:32:57.560 I love you.

00:32:58.440 Like, I'm not right.

00:32:59.740 No.

00:33:00.040 What I'm actually doing is I know the answer you don't, and I'm not going to tell you.

00:33:03.540 Yeah.

00:33:03.840 Yeah.

00:33:04.280 Yeah.

00:33:04.560 Yeah.

00:33:05.200 Right.

00:33:06.240 And somehow like you feel welcome with that.

00:33:10.020 Like, let's play, like we're playing a game.

00:33:11.800 You feel it?

00:33:12.260 Well, cause everybody likes talking about themselves and that you, it's, you know, you're, you're,

00:33:16.440 you told me that you're going to talk more about me in the future.

00:33:19.220 And that's like everyone's favorite topic.

00:33:21.800 Is it your favorite topic?

00:33:23.540 No.

00:33:25.020 No.

00:33:25.340 Yeah.

00:33:25.500 I don't, I don't think it's everyone's favorite.

00:33:26.700 Maybe I just like, I don't know.

00:33:28.280 Yeah.

00:33:28.740 Right.

00:33:29.200 Yeah.

00:33:29.520 No, but I, I think it's like, I think human beings like to understand themselves.

00:33:32.960 I don't think that's unusual.

00:33:35.120 Yes.

00:33:36.280 Yeah.

00:33:36.620 So, um, so let me ask you.

00:33:38.800 So when, when you try to get a rise out of people, right, it can be negative.

00:33:41.700 It can be positive.

00:33:44.140 Yes.

00:33:45.160 Okay.

00:33:45.620 So let me ask you.

00:33:46.840 So how does it feel to not?

00:33:50.680 So when you get a rise from someone, I'm going to say that that means that I'm relating to you.

00:33:58.180 I'm noticing you.

00:33:59.500 I'm acknowledging you.

00:34:00.860 Is that fair?

00:34:01.980 Yeah.

00:34:03.140 So if you don't get a rise out of people, how do you feel?

00:34:07.960 Um, inadequate.

00:34:11.560 Yeah.

00:34:12.460 Getting a rise doesn't just have to mean anger.

00:34:14.340 My son, you just went, yeah, I know, but inadequate.

00:34:17.340 Yeah.

00:34:17.720 I'm surprised you got there that fast.

00:34:19.640 Like you remember, like, I remember standing in circles at school and stuff like that.

00:34:23.000 And like, there's like a group of people talking and then you say a joke and then nobody reacts.

00:34:26.920 Or like, you just say something and like that, like, am I here?

00:34:29.400 Like, did anybody just hear what I said?

00:34:31.420 Like, am I invisible?

00:34:32.360 And then someone repeats the joke louder and then they all get a laugh.

00:34:34.980 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:35.560 That shit sucks. 1.00

00:34:37.160 Yeah. 1.00

00:34:37.420 Right.

00:34:37.680 So you feel invisible unless you get noticed.

00:34:41.640 And so like.

00:34:43.260 Sure.

00:34:44.380 Right.

00:34:45.040 Your words.

00:34:46.440 I mean, I use the word notice, but you use the word invisible.

00:34:49.140 Yeah.

00:34:49.600 So, so, so now let's like kind of think about it.

00:34:52.300 Right.

00:34:52.480 So now like, let's, there's a guy who goes out of his way. 0.99

00:34:58.020 Cause fucking a, we're going to notice you, Sneeko. 1.00

00:35:01.180 Right. 1.00

00:35:01.640 You're going to make sure of that.

00:35:03.340 Right.

00:35:04.720 Right.

00:35:05.080 And you kind of come out charging and we'll see if you flip back into that mode later.

00:35:10.120 Okay.

00:35:11.320 You know, we'll see what your tolerance of, of vulnerability is.

00:35:15.440 Yes.

00:35:16.300 Maybe.

00:35:17.160 But I, I think you're okay with this because I think you like to be seen.

00:35:20.600 I think you're actually more okay with being vulnerable than you give yourself credit for.

00:35:25.380 Right.

00:35:25.880 But I think the biggest issue and what I noticed in Mecca was that, um, yes, that's true, but doing it for the right reasons. 1.00

00:35:32.400 Like, I think it's okay to say a racial slur and no, if someone gets upset because my intentions are pure, it's just like, it's funny to me and it's funny to people who get it. 0.66

00:35:40.120 But also the fact that if I do have eyes that I'm putting out the right message and that I'm influencing in the right way that it's, it's not just like clamoring symbols, like a loud monkey, um, or getting, you know, there's some people that just started into a giant clown show, um, that I'm doing something right.

00:35:57.940 And that every time I speak that it's, you know, there is some, something positive coming out of it.

00:36:04.360 Sure.

00:36:04.860 So it sounds like you, is this the first time you went to Mecca?

00:36:07.620 Yes.

00:36:08.380 Just came back.

00:36:09.100 And it sounds like it was quite a powerful experience for you.

00:36:12.280 It was the most, yeah, most powerful.

00:36:14.780 I haven't even fully talked about it yet.

00:36:16.500 Yeah.

00:36:16.680 It was like one of the most, it was the best experience of my life.

00:36:21.420 Yeah.

00:36:21.900 So like now I can see that you're more centered, right?

00:36:25.580 And now you're sort of saying like, okay, like if my intentions are pure and like all this other stuff, which is cool, but like you were, you were clowning long before that, right?

00:36:33.920 You were getting rises out of people long before you went to Mecca and, and understood everything that you've understood now.

00:36:39.680 Yeah.

00:36:39.920 Since I was like four years old, I used to like tell knock jock jokes.

00:36:43.220 Like there's, um, I would, yeah, always, I was always like making, uh, standup comedy type jokes.

00:36:50.480 Uh, since I was like three.

00:36:52.720 Yeah.

00:36:54.160 Can I ask you about what growing up was like for you?

00:36:56.740 That's like, oh my God.

00:36:57.880 Like, um, growing up was good.

00:36:59.720 Growing up was, you know, I grew up in a, um, around Connecticut and New York, um, New Haven, you know, a pretty mixed, diverse, um, two parent household, really good parents.

00:37:12.220 Um, and I feel pretty, yeah, siblings, older sister, younger brother.

00:37:17.780 And, and what will you say you feel pretty?

00:37:20.800 Um, I'm very grateful that I have really good parents and I still do.

00:37:24.360 And what made your parents really good?

00:37:26.020 They sacrificed a lot in order to raise us properly.

00:37:28.820 And they, they put a hundred percent into parenting.

00:37:31.240 And I think that's pretty rare.

00:37:32.440 I don't, my parents are still together.

00:37:33.900 And like, it's, it's very rare that immediate people that still have parents that are together.

00:37:37.920 I love my parents.

00:37:38.800 And when you say they sacrificed a lot, can you share a little bit about that?

00:37:42.180 Do you feel comfortable?

00:37:43.000 Yeah.

00:37:43.220 I mean, I think that they, they chose to, you know, they didn't go out and party ever.

00:37:48.540 You know, they don't really have that many friends.

00:37:50.640 They didn't really have like that much of a social life or a life outside of raising their children.

00:37:54.880 Like that was their one, number one priority.

00:37:57.540 Like they didn't, they weren't that, they weren't selfish whatsoever.

00:38:01.520 Okay.

00:38:02.520 And what was school like for you?

00:38:05.300 Um, school was, was that, you were the class clown?

00:38:10.560 Yeah.

00:38:11.040 Later on, I wasn't as funny earlier, but then I did get funny and then I was a class clown.

00:38:14.960 Like I had, I had ups and downs.

00:38:16.380 Like I tried to be, I was like fourth, fifth grade.

00:38:18.260 I'd like try to be the class clown more than I was.

00:38:19.920 It was, it was cringe.

00:38:20.720 But then like, I, I developed a good, uh, flow.

00:38:24.780 Yeah.

00:38:26.220 And, and what was, what was like, what were your friends like?

00:38:29.920 You know, things like that.

00:38:32.080 Um, diverse friend group. 0.98

00:38:33.200 And we used to make like really fucked up jokes. 0.92

00:38:34.960 Like, uh, my best friends when I was younger, um, a Jewish guy and a black guy. 0.96

00:38:39.280 And, um, I was more Asian when I was younger.

00:38:42.160 So they would always call me, uh, like say that my, my ancestors died building the railroads

00:38:47.000 and I would make Holocaust jokes and then I'd make slave jokes. 0.67

00:38:50.220 And then we would, we would just, it was just brutal.

00:38:51.720 Like just, just trashing each other all day long and try to make each other cry and laugh.

00:38:57.600 And, and do you have a sense of what about that kind of humor resonated with you? 0.92

00:39:04.660 Um, I think it was bonding over the fact that, uh, you can say fucked up things and it doesn't

00:39:11.060 have to come from a bad place because the teachers would always try to censor and say, 0.78

00:39:15.640 you can't say this, you can't say that.

00:39:16.920 Don't do this.

00:39:17.360 Don't do that.

00:39:18.100 But deep down, you all, you know, oh, well, my intentions are pure just because I say

00:39:21.240 something doesn't mean I mean it, you know, it doesn't have to dictate what my belief

00:39:26.140 system is.

00:39:26.760 And, and so have you been judged a lot for what you say?

00:39:32.180 Yeah.

00:39:32.580 I got canceled off every day.

00:39:35.060 And how do you understand that?

00:39:37.280 How do I understand?

00:39:38.140 What do you mean?

00:39:39.180 Like, what's that like for you to be judged for what you say?

00:39:43.640 I think it's a big responsibility because I mean, obviously it's a bigger platform than

00:39:46.860 just being like a class clown.

00:39:48.360 Uh, a lot of people listen.

00:39:49.700 I think one of the biggest, um, shifts in my perspective was I was at a baseball game

00:39:53.740 with low pump and it was in between the innings or something.

00:39:56.860 We're walking to the hot dog stand.

00:39:58.020 And then like these 11 year olds come up to me and they start like, they get really excited.

00:40:02.120 They're like three, three or four, like they must've been fifth, sixth grade and they go 1.00

00:40:05.700 fuck the women, fuck the women. 1.00

00:40:07.020 And I'm like, what? 1.00

00:40:07.700 Like, no, like fuck transgenders. 1.00

00:40:09.760 I'm like, no, no, no. 1.00

00:40:11.200 Fuck the gay people. 1.00

00:40:12.040 I'm like, no, no. 1.00

00:40:12.860 We love everyone.

00:40:13.520 We love everyone.

00:40:14.300 Just like, they were all excited.

00:40:15.420 I'm like, is this what they get from my, and I think it was equally like good and bad because

00:40:21.480 they were also, they were joking.

00:40:22.640 They were trying to be, they literally like reminded me exactly of how I was at 10, 11

00:40:26.940 years old.

00:40:27.540 And it looks bad because it's on camera because people are like, this is what he's making

00:40:30.620 them believe.

00:40:31.280 Like, this is not what they believe.

00:40:32.540 It's just something that adolescent boys all kind of go through.

00:40:36.700 And I think it's good that they found a vessel within my, my videos to, uh, to find a similar

00:40:41.160 sense of humor.

00:40:41.660 So actually at first I was a little shook and then it made me really happy.

00:40:44.620 And I, I think about those, think about those guys a lot and hope they're doing well,

00:40:47.880 but it is, it is reassuring that we're not reassuring, but it's like, it gives you a little

00:40:52.120 responsibility.

00:40:52.600 Like, okay, like everything I say and do, like I should have something, something positive

00:40:58.420 there because I'm influencing the youth, you know, whether or not a lot of people like

00:41:02.400 to admit it or how much they try to cancel or silence or censor.

00:41:05.380 Like there's, you know, um, what I say is influential.

00:41:10.020 Yeah.

00:41:10.420 And, and, and in what way, or would you say you're influencing them?

00:41:14.320 Um, I think I'm helping them embrace their, their boyhood in a, in a generation where it's 0.99

00:41:21.660 really suppressed, where men are becoming more effeminate, where we're told to, to cry

00:41:26.860 more and talk about our feelings more where, you know, gender ideology is pushed where,

00:41:31.800 you know, inherently like no 12 year old boy believes in that.

00:41:34.960 They don't believe in any of that. 1.00

00:41:36.220 Uh, they think it's garbage, think it's stupid and they don't want to make racist jokes and 0.99

00:41:39.840 they just want to, um, be unapologetic and be themselves. 1.00

00:41:45.280 And they're, they're, we're trying to mold boys into something that they're not.

00:41:50.060 And it's making a lot of people unhappy.

00:41:51.740 And I don't think a lot of people see what's going on.

00:41:54.540 When you say it's making a lot of, uh, when we're molding boys into what they're not right.

00:41:59.220 So this is, this is not the, that's the side that's winning right now, which is not your

00:42:04.160 side.

00:42:04.480 Right, right.

00:42:05.340 The godless side.

00:42:07.140 And, and when, when, when the godless side is succeeding, what, what happens when we get,

00:42:14.360 when you get boys to talk about their feelings or men to talk about their feelings.

00:42:18.700 Then the woman controls the relationship. 0.99

00:42:21.820 Then you become deeply unhappy.

00:42:23.560 You become weaker. 0.91

00:42:24.800 It shows in your body, uh, the way you speak, you become more of a snake.

00:42:28.560 You just become less of a man and you're not leading like the way you don't lead anymore.

00:42:34.480 You're not leading the charge.

00:42:35.840 So talking about your feelings is, it means that you become submissive?

00:42:40.300 Yeah.

00:42:40.940 Cause you're submitting to a person instead of to God.

00:42:43.300 So like you opening up in that vulnerable way, uh, to that extent.

00:42:47.600 It, yeah.

00:42:49.040 Yes.

00:42:50.000 Okay.

00:42:50.280 Um, so if we're not supposed to talk about our feelings, what are we supposed to do with

00:42:55.960 them?

00:42:57.600 I think there's better, like, I see, I think joking is a way, like there's better ways to

00:43:02.720 talk about your feelings rather than, than crying in front of a therapist. 0.99

00:43:06.160 Like I think standup, standup comedians, for example, are all fucked up. 0.98

00:43:10.320 Like the best standup comedians have like all this trauma and stuff like that. 0.98

00:43:13.600 And they, they put that into their craft.

00:43:16.960 And I think it's a really effective way of turning, uh, trauma, turning problems into

00:43:21.420 something that's positive.

00:43:22.340 They're spreading laughter.

00:43:23.560 All of them.

00:43:24.100 Like if you go to a standup comedy show, I used to do it a lot when I was in New York.

00:43:27.960 Um, and then COVID happened.

00:43:29.280 And I was standing there and these people are just talking about their parents and their

00:43:31.900 drug addictions and their relationships and just like the thing.

00:43:34.840 And then they find like a way to, to make fun of it instead of feel bad about it.

00:43:39.620 They just kind of like make light of it.

00:43:41.020 And they, you, it's therapeutic to be able to share that information with strangers and

00:43:45.400 then laugh about it.

00:43:46.160 And then you feel better after it.

00:43:47.140 Cause you're not like, uh, bottling it down.

00:43:48.960 But even then you don't just need to do it in standup comedy.

00:43:51.080 Like sometimes you'll see like the super jack guy in the gym and he's dead lifting like 0.95

00:43:54.280 400 pounds.

00:43:55.760 I used to be me.

00:43:56.660 And you're kind of like all that, whatever's going on, you're letting it out in the gym

00:44:01.660 or when, when I'm sparring too, like, you know, sometimes you get into a mode where you're

00:44:05.380 angry and you're thinking about something that happened, what happened at work.

00:44:08.780 And you just, you know, you, you let it out there.

00:44:10.800 And afterwards you shake hands with the person.

00:44:12.240 You might have a bloody nose.

00:44:13.080 You might've hit you too.

00:44:14.160 And in that moment, now you're stronger, you know, you're better at fighting and you've

00:44:19.580 let it out in a healthy way.

00:44:20.600 So I think there's healthier ways to express negative feelings or channel that energy than therapy.

00:44:26.660 Okay.

00:44:29.080 Um, can I think for a second?

00:44:31.620 Yeah.

00:44:32.480 Do you have any questions for me, by the way, so far?

00:44:35.340 Have I changed your mind on anything?

00:44:37.860 No.

00:44:39.180 Okay.

00:44:40.620 Um, how long have you been doing this?

00:44:43.740 Look, can I ask you a question about that?

00:44:45.240 Yeah.

00:44:46.000 Are you under the impression that I don't already agree with you about most of what you're

00:44:50.540 saying?

00:44:52.120 I was under that impression.

00:44:53.700 I was under that impression.

00:44:54.620 Yeah.

00:44:54.700 I mean, am I, is anything that I'm saying?

00:45:00.840 So like, for example, when you talk about like, well, let me just toss a couple of things

00:45:04.380 out.

00:45:04.700 So I completely agree with you that I think comedy can be very therapeutic.

00:45:08.200 I think exercise can be very therapeutic.

00:45:09.780 I think prayer can be very therapeutic.

00:45:11.700 I think we have tons of scientific studies that support all of those things.

00:45:16.080 We actually know that those are all very effective ways to manage mental health.

00:45:20.540 And I think the other things that we know are that it's not exclusive to that.

00:45:26.560 And in fact, I would say the mind is probably the organ of the body that can benefit from

00:45:33.060 the most diverse kinds of things, as well as the optimal function of the mind requires

00:45:40.320 a diversity of different things to be healthy.

00:45:43.760 The mind actually needs the most balanced diet out of every organ in our body.

00:45:49.920 I think humor, for example, is a very well-documented defense mechanism. 0.94

00:45:53.240 When I have patients that I work with, we oftentimes with the male patients, I will make dick jokes 0.96

00:45:57.860 and we will talk about making dick jokes and we will even do it very intentionally. 0.82

00:46:01.960 And so after we go into a deep part of therapy where we're talking about something raw and real, 0.99

00:46:09.240 we will do something called come up for air by making a dick joke. 0.99

00:46:13.180 Can you tell me what's your best dick joke? 0.99

00:46:17.680 Let me think about what's my best dick joke. 0.99

00:46:31.960 Okay, that one I can't say. 0.99

00:46:34.600 You can say it while I rumble.

00:46:36.860 I don't know.

00:46:37.680 I have...

00:46:38.740 That's the one I want to hear.

00:46:39.840 I want to hear the one you can't say.

00:46:41.760 I know.

00:46:42.440 Let me think.

00:46:43.100 Let me see if I've got a better one.

00:46:47.340 Bruh.

00:46:47.960 I don't... 0.85

00:46:49.100 So there's one that came to my mind, but usually the dick joke that I make is like in 0.56

00:46:53.740 line with what we're talking about. 0.59

00:46:55.220 Okay.

00:46:56.080 Right?

00:46:56.440 So like...

00:46:57.920 Like it's hard.

00:47:01.240 It's hard to describe it. 0.98

00:47:02.120 Like, you know, you can make dick jokes about whatever we're talking about. 0.98

00:47:04.520 Yeah. 0.98

00:47:05.480 So it's not like I have a dick joke and it's like, hey, we just talked about your childhood 0.95

00:47:10.440 trauma. 0.98

00:47:11.320 Let me tell you a joke.

00:47:12.920 Knock, knock. 0.93

00:47:13.980 Knock, knock. 0.93

00:47:14.880 Yeah.

00:47:15.480 Who's there? 1.00

00:47:16.740 Your dick. 1.00

00:47:17.280 Boom, boka. 1.00

00:47:21.880 Right?

00:47:22.640 Okay.

00:47:23.380 That's a good one.

00:47:24.600 Because you went to therapy and it got lopped off and now it's dangling out here.

00:47:29.780 Yeah.

00:47:31.100 Yeah.

00:47:31.640 I mean, I don't even... 0.97

00:47:32.540 That's a fucking awful joke, but it's just an example. 0.98

00:47:34.800 That was like a fine... 0.99

00:47:35.640 That was better than what I was thinking.

00:47:37.660 For all the spot, that was good.

00:47:39.220 Yeah.

00:47:39.560 I mean, if you want to all...

00:47:40.860 You know, if we get into something deep, I'm sure that my mind will come up with one.

00:47:45.780 Okay.

00:47:46.000 And then I'll share it with you at the time.

00:47:47.280 Okay.

00:47:50.580 So, yeah.

00:47:52.340 So, I mean, I don't actually disagree with a lot of what you're saying.

00:47:55.780 I think...

00:47:56.240 I'd say that if anything, I think that your understanding of things I would describe as

00:48:00.180 incomplete, not incorrect.

00:48:02.680 Okay.

00:48:04.760 Can you...

00:48:05.440 Anyway, that's...

00:48:06.080 Can you explain why incomplete, not incorrect?

00:48:09.240 So, that's what I was thinking about and I'm going to get to.

00:48:12.100 And that's when I asked you, do you have any questions for me?

00:48:15.980 How long have you been doing this?

00:48:18.220 What do you mean by this?

00:48:20.200 Talking to people crying on the couch.

00:48:23.620 Oh, psychotherapy.

00:48:25.420 Or psychiatry.

00:48:26.280 Uh, okay.

00:48:28.020 So, so I became a medical doctor...

00:48:31.240 Uh...

00:48:33.580 Wow, has it been...

00:48:36.260 I became a medical doctor nine years ago.

00:48:38.900 I started doing psychotherapy eight years ago.

00:48:41.620 I started to do psychotherapy very seriously seven years ago.

00:48:46.840 And then I became a fully trained psychiatrist five years ago.

00:48:51.180 Do you notice a common theme when you talk to streamers?

00:48:54.140 Yes, many.

00:48:58.760 What is it?

00:49:01.340 Uh...

00:49:01.940 Like, when you talk to streamers, I mean, so many.

00:49:07.520 So, like, are you talking about specifically about streaming?

00:49:10.160 No, no, no.

00:49:10.620 When you talk to live streamers, because I've seen, like, that's one of your consistent...

00:49:13.820 Yeah.

00:49:14.260 Do you notice a common theme that's separate from other people?

00:49:17.480 What do you notice about streamers?

00:49:18.680 Oh, absolutely.

00:49:18.760 Yeah, can you...

00:49:19.880 So, I think at the top of the list is, like, we're all misfits to society.

00:49:24.480 Like, we can't...

00:49:25.420 The reason we become successful at streamers is because we get rejected by the rest of the world.

00:49:30.520 In some way.

00:49:31.980 And then there's something about us that is busted in school, in nine-to-fives, in standard jobs.

00:49:39.920 And so we start streaming.

00:49:41.980 And then something about this environment fits like a glove.

00:49:46.260 So, one example of that.

00:49:48.180 So, that's the overarching theme, if you want one.

00:49:50.740 But there are all kinds of different examples of that.

00:49:53.820 So, one is that the prevalence of ADHD amongst streamers, I think, is way higher than the regular population.

00:49:59.620 You think ADHD is real?

00:50:02.520 Yes.

00:50:03.940 Okay.

00:50:04.400 They told me I had ADHD when I was, like, nine and ten.

00:50:07.240 I used to take Ritalin and all that stuff.

00:50:08.820 I think it's a lie.

00:50:10.520 Especially because of the fact that they say it's, like, a deficit. 1.00

00:50:13.560 The fact that they say it's a disorder, I think, is garbage. 0.93

00:50:16.120 It's not a disorder. 0.96

00:50:17.020 It's just a different way of thinking.

00:50:18.920 I actually think it's a superpower.

00:50:20.380 I think it's a gift.

00:50:22.960 And calling it a disorder is incorrect.

00:50:26.880 Yeah.

00:50:27.160 So, I think that that, too, is not something that I entirely disagree with.

00:50:32.160 I wouldn't say you're wrong about that.

00:50:33.800 I've worked with many people, myself included, who are probably somewhere on the ADHD spectrum.

00:50:38.480 And I have come to see the way that my mind works as a gift.

00:50:42.900 At the same time, so I think this is one area in which I would, if I had to judge what you say, one area in which you're incomplete is that you tend to make a lot of generalizations.

00:50:54.200 So, I don't hear in you that ADHD is variable amongst different people.

00:51:01.720 I don't hear that conception when you speak.

00:51:04.800 So, you say, it wasn't a disorder for me, which is fair enough.

00:51:09.700 Ritalin for me didn't work, which is fair enough.

00:51:11.700 But you don't know what the experience of everyone else with ADHD is like.

00:51:16.400 And for some people, it is a crippling disorder.

00:51:19.020 And what we mean by crippling disorder is that they cannot function in the world because they cannot get their mind to focus in the worst cases of ADHD.

00:51:27.980 I think that that puts the blame on something that's genetic or something that's innate rather than just saying it's misled focus or, like, misdirection.

00:51:36.600 For example, there's this guy on Twitter, Brute, and he talks about how a meth head is almost identical to an Elon Musk CEO billionaire.

00:51:45.180 A meth head has all this energy that instead of he's putting into a Fortune 500 company, he's just putting it into the pipe.

00:51:51.280 You know, he's digging holes in the backyard looking for China.

00:51:53.780 As soon as you put that guy in the right direction and you can put him to something where he can direct all that meth energy to something that's positive, he's the same.

00:52:02.900 Like, those people are very similar.

00:52:04.900 They're two sides of the same coin.

00:52:06.860 They're more in common with the average person.

00:52:09.760 That's what confuses me because I would agree with you 100%.

00:52:13.180 I mean, the majority of clinical practice that I've done is, like, actually addiction psychiatry.

00:52:18.040 And I would completely agree with you that the majority of my patients who are addicted to stuff have an immense amount of energy, are incredibly resilient, are oftentimes highly intelligent.

00:52:29.560 And helping them channel that into healthier things leads to excellent outcomes.

00:52:35.700 I wouldn't disagree with that at all.

00:52:37.340 But why are generalizations like that a bad thing?

00:52:39.600 Because, like, I don't think there's anyone that said there's no exception for cancer.

00:52:44.280 You know, cancer is something that you, it just happens, right?

00:52:46.800 There's neither, oh, cancer was actually really good for my lungs, you know?

00:52:50.960 Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

00:52:52.700 So I have spoken with a ton of patients that I was very confused by when they would say things like cancer was the best thing that ever happened to me.

00:53:03.000 And I'd be like, bro, what are you talking about?

00:53:05.680 Right?

00:53:06.040 And then I would listen to them.

00:53:08.220 And that's when there are cases of cancer where, like, here I am, I'm 36, I'm not taking care of myself, I'm not taking care of my family, I'm like, ah, like, whatever, life is, like, whatever.

00:53:17.680 I'm bitching all the time, like, I'm not really doing anything with my life.

00:53:20.980 And then you tell someone, hey, you could have one year to live. 1.00

00:53:23.820 And they're like, oh, shit. 0.99

00:53:26.460 Like, I've got one year to live, and, like, I don't want to die, like, I hate my life, but I don't want to die, I want to live. 0.99

00:53:32.120 And then six months later, after chemotherapy, they have a surgical resection, they shrink the cancer, they remove it from the body, and then they discover that you're cancer-free.

00:53:41.320 And suddenly someone is like, thank God.

00:53:44.300 I was dead at 35, and at 36, post-cancer, I'm starting to live life.

00:53:50.680 I've started to realize that life is precious.

00:53:53.120 I am awake.

00:53:55.280 Yeah.

00:53:55.740 Was that Walter White?

00:53:57.120 I don't know.

00:53:58.000 Oh, God.

00:53:58.480 I mean, I don't know Walter White well enough to know his quotes.

00:54:03.480 Okay.

00:54:05.360 But, I mean, so, you know, it's humbling.

00:54:07.960 And I think, why is it bad to make generalizations?

00:54:10.140 Because I think human beings have different experiences.

00:54:12.220 That's true.

00:54:12.940 And what works for one person doesn't work for someone else.

00:54:16.360 And that's also where, I mean, I've met my fair share of people, myself included,

00:54:21.760 who got way more out of spirituality than I did out of therapy.

00:54:28.760 Like, way more.

00:54:31.300 So, what transformed my life was spirituality, not a psychotherapist.

00:54:36.480 What, you did DMT in Peru?

00:54:39.160 No.

00:54:40.300 I spent seven years studying to become a monk in India.

00:54:43.220 Oh, okay, okay.

00:54:44.900 Yeah.

00:54:45.660 Can you levitate?

00:54:47.460 No.

00:54:48.020 Oh.

00:54:49.440 Still working on that one.

00:54:50.880 Then I went to med school.

00:54:51.880 If I had stayed with it, maybe I would be able to at this point.

00:54:54.080 Okay.

00:54:55.040 Yeah.

00:54:55.400 So, like I said, I think the main thing in which I'm sort of hearing is not that you're wrong.

00:55:00.040 I mean, I think that it's most, I want to even say that most psychiatrists or psychotherapists

00:55:04.440 would agree with a lot of what you're saying.

00:55:06.260 That humor has therapeutic value.

00:55:08.380 That prayer has therapeutic value.

00:55:10.060 That just talking about your emotions.

00:55:12.400 I actually think a lot of psychotherapists, well, it's not that it's a waste of time,

00:55:16.980 but I think many people, myself included, I don't want people to come to my office and

00:55:20.480 just talk about their emotions.

00:55:21.740 That's not what we're here for.

00:55:23.340 We're here to do work.

00:55:24.600 We're here to help someone get better.

00:55:26.740 And we're here to help someone go, like, my goal with all of my patients is for them

00:55:31.800 to never come back.

00:55:35.020 What's the longest you've had a patient?

00:55:40.800 Five years.

00:55:41.460 Seven years.

00:55:43.240 Six years.

00:55:45.180 Yeah. 1.00

00:55:47.180 Damn. 0.99

00:55:48.040 Ask me what my average amount of time to spend with a patient is. 0.99

00:55:52.060 What is it?

00:55:52.960 Because you're asking about the longest.

00:55:54.380 Yeah.

00:55:54.640 What's the average?

00:55:55.220 Three months?

00:55:56.340 Six to 12 months.

00:55:57.640 Okay.

00:55:59.320 Probably around, well, under a year, I would say.

00:56:01.240 And that's once a week of yapping?

00:56:03.400 Mm-hmm.

00:56:04.840 Sometimes more than yapping.

00:56:06.740 Sometimes jerking each other off.

00:56:08.200 Huh? 1.00

00:56:09.400 There's your dick joke. 1.00

00:56:10.260 Nice. 1.00

00:56:17.640 I didn't expect that one.

00:56:19.520 It came out of nowhere.

00:56:23.080 Why?

00:56:23.640 Were you interested?

00:56:24.760 Is that because you seemed, it seems like you got, you know.

00:56:28.840 No.

00:56:29.420 No.

00:56:29.720 It was just a surprise.

00:56:31.820 You sure?

00:56:33.420 Yeah.

00:56:33.760 How are you feeling now?

00:56:39.480 Uncomfortable.

00:56:40.600 Right?

00:56:41.500 Yeah.

00:56:43.860 Okay.

00:56:44.640 I'll be.

00:56:46.280 Would it help if I apologize?

00:56:48.340 I don't need to.

00:56:48.700 No, it's fine.

00:56:49.240 If you're joking, then it's okay.

00:56:51.320 Yeah.

00:56:53.060 And if I wasn't? 1.00

00:56:53.900 I told you this shit is a liberal gay psyop. 1.00

00:57:02.240 This is how people become transgender. 1.00

00:57:03.620 They go, you're proving my point.

00:57:07.580 Yeah.

00:57:08.060 No, I mean, I think it's hilarious how, how, how a tiny little joke can make you so uncomfortable.

00:57:13.360 Sorry, that was demeaning.

00:57:15.760 I apologize.

00:57:17.420 It was denigrating.

00:57:20.060 Yeah.

00:57:22.700 Anyway, should we get back to it?

00:57:24.160 Yes.

00:57:25.460 So I would say that, so you asked how long I've been doing it.

00:57:28.980 So I would say the longest patient is six years, but even in that case, the patient has done well for extended periods of time.

00:57:36.240 So they'll be like done with therapy for about two years and then something will happen and they'll call and then we'll kind of work through it.

00:57:42.180 We'll work together for about six months and then we'll take a break for eight months and then something else happens.

00:57:46.740 And that's usually what that looks like.

00:57:50.500 There are definitely some patients who need ongoing emotional support.

00:57:56.200 But those people, I think, tend to have difficulties with the basic day-to-day skills that lead to wellness.

00:58:04.360 So either they are, they're in a situation where they can't exercise, they're cognitively in a space where they really can't regulate their emotions and they require someone else's like support in an ongoing basis.

00:58:17.080 I've absolutely worked with people like that.

00:58:19.820 But I don't think that's the majority of people.

00:58:22.420 Exception rather than the rule.

00:58:25.600 What do people usually come by, like, what's the, what's the, what are normal people going through right now?

00:58:32.460 What do you mean by that?

00:58:34.360 What's the average person coming into the therapy?

00:58:36.900 Like, what are they, what are people dealing with?

00:58:38.820 Are you, what do you, what patterns are you noticing?

00:58:40.640 You're saying that streamers are ADHD rejects who are attention-seeking narcissists.

00:58:45.980 What about the average person?

00:58:47.820 Why are they coming in to pay for services?

00:58:50.900 Are you talking about the average person in general?

00:58:53.440 Yeah, like a nine of, yeah, the average person that sees you.

00:58:56.320 Like, what are you, what are you noticing as a common deal right now?

00:58:58.280 Yeah, so people see me for a different reason.

00:58:59.040 So I think people see me that are a little bit less enamored with therapy and psychiatry.

00:59:03.460 So given my background of, like, complementary and alternative medicine and the fact that I studied to become a monk, like, people will come to me because they don't want to be on medication, because they want to optimize their performance in some way.

00:59:17.280 So, and most people come to me because they are interested in, like, understanding themselves better and mastering themselves more.

00:59:26.900 Okay.

00:59:27.380 And sometimes they've got, like, oftentimes something will push them into my office.

00:59:32.440 Like, so, for example, you know, people are afraid that, like, their anxiety is getting in the way of work.

00:59:37.480 But most of the time it's not, it's like, I want to be free of this.

00:59:42.620 I want to be able to enjoy life.

00:59:44.560 I want to be able to do a good job at work.

00:59:48.980 I'm tired of worrying about stuff that I know is not important.

00:59:52.440 And they want help with that.

00:59:56.300 And I think that most people will figure it out.

00:59:59.580 I think it's just having someone who knows, is an expert in the material, it's way easier to learn, right?

01:00:06.360 I can figure out how to surf if I spend enough time in the ocean.

01:00:09.380 But having someone who knows how to surf teach me, I'll just learn way faster.

01:00:13.720 Right.

01:00:14.940 So I, and this is kind of where, you know, I have some questions for you.

01:00:18.460 But, and I think that's really what we do as therapists.

01:00:22.440 Is help people focus up.

01:00:27.080 Help people understand how, or this is what I try to do.

01:00:29.940 I try to help people understand, like, what a human, how a human works.

01:00:35.360 So when I ask you, for example, what are the mechanisms of prayer?

01:00:39.380 How does a prayer, how does prayer work?

01:00:41.560 How does it work?

01:00:42.200 How does it not work?

01:00:42.980 What does therapy do not do?

01:00:44.440 So, like, the questions that I have for you, and if you want an impression of fixing what I think is incomplete about your understanding,

01:00:51.920 we can start that.

01:00:53.260 Okay.

01:00:54.980 You have other questions, or can I dive in?

01:00:56.920 You can dive in.

01:00:57.540 Wait, before you dive in, can I go pee?

01:00:59.680 Yeah, of course.

01:01:00.260 Okay, I'm going to go to bed.

01:01:01.960 Yeah.

01:01:03.820 Cheers, stream. 0.72

01:01:04.960 I'm going to go get some water.

01:01:05.920 Okay.

01:01:06.040 Okay.

01:01:06.080 Okay.

01:01:06.120 Okay.

01:01:06.160 Okay.

01:01:06.200 Okay.

01:01:06.240 Okay.

01:01:06.600 Okay.

01:01:06.700 Okay.

01:01:07.140 Okay.

01:01:07.700 Okay.

01:01:08.200 Okay.

01:01:08.700 Okay.

01:01:09.700 Okay.

01:01:10.700 Okay.

01:01:11.700 Okay.

01:01:12.700 Okay.

01:01:13.700 Okay.

01:01:14.700 Okay.

01:01:15.700 Okay.

01:01:17.700 Okay.

01:01:18.700 Okay.

01:01:19.700 Okay.

01:01:20.700 Okay.

01:01:21.700 All right.

01:01:47.040 I am back.

01:01:48.140 I don't know who I'm talking to.

01:01:50.180 Okay.

01:01:51.180 Okay.

01:01:52.180 Okay.

01:01:53.180 Okay.

01:01:54.180 Okay.

01:01:55.180 Okay.

01:01:56.180 Okay.

01:01:57.180 Okay.

01:01:58.180 Okay.

01:01:59.180 Okay.

01:02:00.180 Okay.

01:02:01.180 Okay.

01:02:02.180 Okay.

01:02:03.180 Okay.

01:02:04.180 So let me ask you something.

01:02:05.420 What is an emotion?

01:02:06.180 Okay.

01:02:07.180 Okay.

01:02:08.180 Okay.

01:02:09.180 Okay.

01:02:10.180 Okay.

01:02:11.180 Okay.

01:02:12.180 Okay.

01:02:13.180 Okay.

01:02:14.180 Okay.

01:02:16.180 Okay.

01:02:17.180 Okay.

01:02:18.180 Okay.

01:02:19.180 Okay.

01:02:20.180 So let me ask you something.

01:02:21.340 What is an emotion?

01:02:22.680 What is an emotion?

01:02:23.680 As a feeling.

01:02:24.680 As a feeling.

01:02:25.680 Okay.

01:02:26.680 Okay.

01:02:27.680 What is a feeling?

01:02:28.680 Why do we have emotions as humans?

01:02:31.680 As a reaction to what we see and experience.

01:02:37.680 Okay.

01:02:38.680 What is the purpose of an emotion?

01:02:43.680 The purpose of an emotion?

01:02:44.680 I don't think there is one.

01:02:45.680 I think they just happen.

01:02:46.680 Okay.

01:02:47.680 So.

01:02:48.680 That sounds very.

01:02:50.680 I'm trying to think about.

01:02:51.680 Okay.

01:02:52.680 So I'm going to try to convince you that that's incorrect.

01:02:53.680 Okay.

01:02:54.680 Okay.

01:02:55.680 So first of all, we can take the God angle.

01:02:56.680 Like I don't think God is omniscient.

01:02:57.680 Right?

01:02:58.680 What does omniscient mean?

01:02:59.680 One?

01:03:00.680 All knowing.

01:03:01.680 Okay.

01:03:02.680 So like God made us this way.

01:03:03.680 Right?

01:03:04.680 Yes.

01:03:05.680 God gave us emotions.

01:03:06.680 Yes.

01:03:07.680 So like God doesn't do nothing.

01:03:08.680 This is something for no reason. 0.99

01:03:09.680 He's not like, hey, I'm a fuck with the human race and I'm going to give y'all 0.99

01:03:11.680 emotions. 0.99

01:03:12.680 Okay.

01:03:13.680 So like God made us this way.

01:03:14.680 Right?

01:03:15.680 Yes.

01:03:16.680 God gave us emotions.

01:03:17.680 Yes.

01:03:18.680 So like God doesn't do nothing.

01:03:19.680 This is something for no reason. 0.98

01:03:21.680 He's not like, hey, I'm a fuck with the human race and I'm going to give y'all emotions. 0.99

01:03:26.680 I'm going to make this human. 0.99

01:03:27.680 And in order for y'all to be whatever, like I'm going to just toss in emotions.

01:03:32.680 Like, so we exist for a reason.

01:03:33.680 Like everything within us, every part of us exists for a reason.

01:03:37.680 So we have eyes for a reason.

01:03:39.680 We have nose for a reason. 0.75

01:03:40.680 We have mouth for a reason. 0.99

01:03:41.680 We have dicks for a reason. 1.00

01:03:43.680 Right? 0.99

01:03:44.680 Yeah. 0.99

01:03:45.680 Not liking the dick jokes anymore. 0.99

01:03:47.680 I can stop. 0.98

01:03:48.680 No, you're doing good.

01:03:49.680 That wasn't really a joke.

01:03:50.680 You just said it, but.

01:03:51.680 Okay.

01:03:52.680 Um, so, so we have emotions for a reason.

01:03:57.680 So like in what I would say, if someone asked me the question, what are emotions for?

01:04:01.680 I would say that emotions are a source of information and a source of motivation.

01:04:05.680 So for example, if I walk into a room and there's like tension in the air, I'm going to feel emotionally uncomfortable.

01:04:15.680 Yes.

01:04:16.680 Or if, if I walk into a room and everyone was laughing and then suddenly everyone goes silent, what do you think is the emotion that you would feel?

01:04:25.680 When everyone was laughing and then I say joke and everyone goes silent?

01:04:28.680 No, no. 0.99

01:04:29.680 Everyone's joking and you walk into the room and everyone looks at you and shuts the fuck up. 0.98

01:04:33.680 Uh, embarrassment. 0.98

01:04:35.680 Right?

01:04:36.680 So like, if you think about that, why would you feel embarrassed?

01:04:39.680 Because you know they're talking about you.

01:04:41.680 How do you know they're talking about you?

01:04:43.680 Because the whole energy shifts.

01:04:45.680 Exactly.

01:04:46.680 And the energy shift, by the way, is all neurologically mediated.

01:04:50.680 So your eyes notice the change in behavior.

01:04:54.680 Your ears notice the change.

01:04:56.680 You can sense things.

01:04:57.680 So you're getting sensory input.

01:04:59.680 That sensory input gets processed very, very, very quickly, but in a very, very primitive way.

01:05:05.680 It's not like a logical thing that your mind runs through.

01:05:08.680 Your mind gets, your brain gets all the sensory input and then it reacts with an emotion.

01:05:13.680 Yes.

01:05:14.680 And then if we think about emotions, emotions prepare us.

01:05:18.680 They prepare the whole body to act in a particular way.

01:05:22.680 Okay?

01:05:23.680 Okay.

01:05:24.680 So for example, if I feel angry, all kinds of stuff happens.

01:05:28.680 I'm more willing to fight mentally.

01:05:31.680 Agreed?

01:05:32.680 Yes.

01:05:33.680 I have adrenaline pumping through my system, which increases the blood flow to my skeletal muscles,

01:05:41.680 decreases the blood flow to my visceral organs.

01:05:44.680 So I stop digesting things.

01:05:46.680 Liver doesn't need blood. 0.78

01:05:47.680 Stomach doesn't need blood.

01:05:48.680 Colon doesn't need blood.

01:05:51.680 We need blood flow to our arms, our legs.

01:05:55.680 Our mind starts thinking in terms of black and white when we're angry.

01:05:58.680 So we stop seeing nuance.

01:06:00.680 We stop being empathic.

01:06:01.680 And that way, when we need to throw down, we can throw down.

01:06:04.680 So anger helps us throw down.

01:06:06.680 It makes us more motivated to throw down.

01:06:08.680 It makes us more likely to throw down.

01:06:09.680 Okay. 0.98

01:06:10.680 So, and if I like, if I walk up to you and I slap you across the face, you will get angry. 0.98

01:06:17.680 And that anger will, is good, right? 0.98

01:06:19.680 We don't, you see that?

01:06:21.680 Like it serves a purpose.

01:06:23.680 Yes.

01:06:24.680 Okay.

01:06:25.680 So emotions are sources of information and sources of action.

01:06:30.680 Now, the next thing is that emotions are not always useful.

01:06:37.680 Sometimes our emotions can lead us in the wrong direction.

01:06:40.680 Agree?

01:06:41.680 Yes.

01:06:42.680 Has that ever happened to you?

01:06:44.680 Of course.

01:06:46.680 Can you, do you feel comfortable sharing an example about that?

01:06:49.680 To where an emotion led me in the wrong direction?

01:06:52.680 Yeah. 0.71

01:06:53.680 Does horny count? 0.67

01:06:54.680 Sure. 0.83

01:06:55.680 Sure. 1.00

01:06:57.680 Fucking focusing on women instead of what I'm supposed to do. 1.00

01:07:02.680 Happens like on stream all the time. 1.00

01:07:04.680 Or fear.

01:07:07.680 I think supplementing using drugs to cope with fear.

01:07:10.680 Stuff like that.

01:07:13.680 Okay.

01:07:14.680 In the past.

01:07:15.680 Okay.

01:07:16.680 So, so like, yeah.

01:07:18.680 So I, I mean, I think, I think that's, that's actually, I'm really, I love those examples.

01:07:26.680 Because I think they really speak to, so when we have emotions, if, so they can be useful, but they can also like, if we're not in control of them.

01:07:35.680 If we don't really understand where they come from, or why they come from a particular place, and we're not able to regulate them, we get into trouble.

01:07:43.680 Right?

01:07:44.680 Right.

01:07:46.680 So then, are you, by the way, are you kind of, is this okay, what we're doing right now?

01:07:52.680 Yeah, no, I'm following, I'm following.

01:07:54.680 You're, you're explaining the use of emotions.

01:07:57.680 Yeah.

01:07:58.680 So, so, and then I think that like, so this is where we kind of come to emotions such as crying or, or is a weakness.

01:08:04.680 That's kind of where I'm going with this, is that I think so, in my opinion, or expertise, or call it whatever you want to like, you will be a more effective human being, if you can understand and even to a certain degree control.

01:08:19.680 If you have a better relationship with your emotions, in the same way that we can train our muscles, or our breathing, we can also train our mind.

01:08:30.680 Right.

01:08:31.680 I agree.

01:08:32.680 Right?

01:08:33.680 And so I think one of the key parts of that training is a better relationship with our, our emotions.

01:08:39.680 And specifically to understand, so sometimes we will also have inappropriate emotions.

01:08:44.680 So a good example of this is, let's say that I get anxious asking for a raise from my boss, even though I've worked really hard, I feel I deserve it.

01:08:56.680 But something has happened to me over the course of the way that my brain formed where asking someone for a favor or something that I believe I deserve results in anxiety.

01:09:09.680 Yeah.

01:09:10.680 So that's like a bad situation, right?

01:09:12.680 Yes.

01:09:13.680 In this scenario, I imagine you would say, go work out, pray, and gas yourself up in some way, and then go demand what you are owed, go and be strong, right?

01:09:25.680 I wouldn't say gas yourself up, but yeah.

01:09:29.680 What would you say?

01:09:31.680 Um, work on yourself.

01:09:33.680 Like just, just work on something, work, work for your future self.

01:09:37.680 Gassing yourself up, I think is like inflating your ego.

01:09:39.680 I don't think you should inflate, I think you should earn it.

01:09:41.680 So work.

01:09:43.680 Okay.

01:09:44.680 So, so work.

01:09:45.680 And yeah, so I, I think like that's a fair perspective.

01:09:49.680 So I think a lot of what, so the, the, another thing to understand is sometimes the way that our emotions get wired are based on our experiences. 0.86

01:09:57.680 So for example, like, um, you know, let's say that like, I don't know, I mean, this is kind of a random ass example, but, uh, let's say that one of my parents was a clown.

01:10:10.680 And one of my parents was physically abusive. 0.87

01:10:12.680 And then what happens is since they were wearing their clown costume, when they were physically abusive, when I was five years old, I learned to fear clowns.

01:10:23.680 So my brain formed associations, which is what brains do, that when I see big floppy shoes and a big red nose, that means that I'm in danger.

01:10:32.680 And so this is the way that our brain wires based on experiences.

01:10:35.680 Does that make sense?

01:10:36.680 You follow me?

01:10:37.680 Yes.

01:10:38.680 Okay.

01:10:39.680 So then what happens is like, I'm 35 years old, I'm at my kid's sixth birthday party, and someone invited a clown, which I've been avoiding, which means I start having anxiety and panic.

01:10:48.680 Because my brain has learned a long time ago when my neurons were still forming that clowns mean danger.

01:10:57.680 Clowns mean run away.

01:10:58.680 Okay. 0.98

01:10:59.680 Okay.

01:11:00.680 Yes.

01:11:01.680 And so now I've got this problem where like, I need to rewire my brain. 0.94

01:11:05.680 I need to, even though intellectually, I understand that clowns are not dangerous.

01:11:11.680 There's a part of my body and my brain that responds in a way that is separate from my intellect.

01:11:19.680 It's primitive.

01:11:20.680 Does that make sense?

01:11:21.680 Yes.

01:11:22.680 So there are many ways to do that.

01:11:26.680 One of the most effective ways to reprogram yourself is psychotherapy.

01:11:33.680 So psychotherapy is the process of understanding.

01:11:37.680 So for example, like, I'll just give you like an actual example.

01:11:42.680 So there's a kind of psychotherapy called EMDR.

01:11:44.680 I know.

01:11:45.680 Yeah.

01:11:46.680 I'm aware of it.

01:11:47.680 It's like hypnosis.

01:11:48.680 Your eyes follow and you're supposed to forget traumatic past.

01:11:50.680 Like people, I heard about EMDR.

01:11:52.680 Yeah.

01:11:53.680 Yeah.

01:11:54.680 So it's not that you forget traumatic past.

01:11:55.680 It's that normally when we think about a particular memory, and I'm sure that if we talked long enough, we would, I could ask you about particular memories.

01:12:04.680 And those memories would trigger emotional reactions with you, right?

01:12:08.680 Yep.

01:12:09.680 Okay.

01:12:10.680 And you could do the same with me.

01:12:11.680 We could talk about whatever, and we would have some emotions.

01:12:13.680 Now, the problem is that when people have something like PTSD, the size of their reaction is debilitating.

01:12:20.680 So, like, when I hear, like, if I'm a Vietnam war vet or something like that, or an Iraqi war vet, and I hear a door slam, my mind literally goes back to being in a combat scenario.

01:12:31.680 I stop, drop, and roll.

01:12:32.680 I'm trying to duck under fire, but, like, I'm at a bus stop dropping my kid off. 0.99

01:12:37.680 So that, that needs to, that shit needs to be rewired. 0.97

01:12:40.680 And so the way that EMDR works is we actually have those people recall that stuff, but the way that we move our eyes, since our attention is somewhere else. 0.98

01:12:50.680 Yeah, you're supposed to look back and forth to forget things.

01:12:52.680 Does it actually work, though?

01:12:53.680 Yeah.

01:12:54.680 Oh, yeah.

01:12:55.680 Well, I'm going to say yes, but there is certainly a camp of people in the psychiatry and psychotherapy community that think that EMDR, the therapeutic benefit of EMDR is way, is been overblown, and it's not everything that everyone thinks it is.

01:13:12.680 Mm-hmm.

01:13:13.680 So that's kind of, anyway, so EMDR is just a good example of what we're trying to do is almost, like, split your mind and prevent that emotional reaction.

01:13:22.680 So now we're going to talk about this stuff, but since you're concentrating over here, you're not actually paying attention to the memory, and then you get desensitized to it.

01:13:29.680 It's, there's a little, it's a desensitization therapy, right?

01:13:33.680 Mm-hmm.

01:13:34.680 So what we're trying to do is, like, stop a automatic reaction by retraining the brain, actually, and the body.

01:13:41.680 Is that even possible?

01:13:42.680 A hundred percent.

01:13:44.680 I mean, with desensitization, you can desensitize.

01:13:47.680 You have been desensitized.

01:13:48.680 But you're trying to, like, trick yourself into doing it.

01:13:50.680 Is that, is, like, the eye movement actually doing it, or is it the process of thinking about it and...

01:13:56.680 It's the process of having your attention in one place so that all of your attention does not gravitate towards the traumatic memory.

01:14:06.680 That's the mechanism, in my opinion.

01:14:08.680 Okay.

01:14:09.680 Well, I don't know if that kind of makes sense, but, like, let me put it to you this way.

01:14:12.680 Let's say, well, what's an example?

01:14:16.680 So let's say that you're about to have sex.

01:14:19.680 So in this moment, your full attention is on whatever the stimulus of sex is.

01:14:28.680 And so you're very involved in it.

01:14:30.680 You have an emotional reaction.

01:14:31.680 You have a physical reaction.

01:14:33.680 But let's say that someone is, like, trying to seduce you, but you're playing a video game.

01:14:38.680 So your attention is split.

01:14:40.680 So even though there's, like, this naked person over here who's trying to seduce you, your physiologic reaction, your mental reaction is not going to happen because your mind is over here.

01:14:50.680 And on the flip side, one of the treatments for premature ejaculation is to think about other stuff while you're having sex.

01:14:59.680 Correct. 0.98

01:15:00.680 I think porn has actually fucked up a lot of people's minds.

01:15:02.680 They become kind of desensitized and have weird expectations and thinking about different things, what they should be doing. 0.86

01:15:07.680 Or porn is the quickest way that people become desensitized to sex and are out of the moment.

01:15:12.680 And, yeah.

01:15:14.680 Yes.

01:15:15.680 So I think, like, these are examples of, like, psychotherapy.

01:15:18.680 Does that sound weak to you?

01:15:24.680 Yes.

01:15:25.680 How so?

01:15:27.680 Because you couldn't deal with it yourself.

01:15:28.680 You need to pay to do it.

01:15:34.680 So, like?

01:15:36.680 Like, asking for help is a sign of weakness.

01:15:39.680 Like, even though everybody needs help sometimes, it is weakness.

01:15:42.680 If I can't climb up a ladder and need somebody to hold it, then I'm too weak to climb up a ladder by myself.

01:15:46.680 Same thing with psychotherapy.

01:15:48.680 Okay.

01:15:49.680 Okay.

01:15:50.680 So needing help from anyone makes you weak?

01:15:54.680 Weak in whatever that is.

01:15:56.680 Yeah.

01:15:57.680 Okay.

01:15:58.680 Yeah.

01:15:59.680 So you value independence.

01:16:02.680 Yes.

01:16:03.680 And so, like, let's say that you're in a car accident and you need a surgeon's help.

01:16:07.680 You're weak in that moment because you can't...

01:16:11.680 Yes.

01:16:12.680 Okay.

01:16:13.680 Yeah.

01:16:14.680 That's interesting.

01:16:15.680 Literally, your body's weak, so you need help.

01:16:17.680 Yeah.

01:16:18.680 Is that bad?

01:16:20.680 Or is that acceptable?

01:16:22.680 I don't know about good or bad is the best way to describe it, but, you know, it's...

01:16:27.680 You're more optimized and you're a more complete person, more independent, reliable if you're able to deal with it yourself.

01:16:36.680 Yeah.

01:16:37.680 You're more competent.

01:16:38.680 Competence means that you need the least amount of help.

01:16:41.680 Do you have an emotional reaction to being weak?

01:16:47.680 Not all the time.

01:16:48.680 In places where I think I should be competent and I realize I'm not, that makes me feel inadequate.

01:16:53.680 Inadequate, yeah.

01:16:54.680 Yeah, I don't like that.

01:16:55.680 But if it's something I'm not good at and I do need to ask for some help or some information, then, you know, I'm okay to learning things.

01:17:02.680 But when it's my area of expertise, when it's something that I've trained and worked at and I need help, it's like, there's disappointment and there's anger that I'm not better.

01:17:15.680 Can I think for a second?

01:17:16.680 Yes, you can.

01:17:17.680 Okay, so we talked about, like, PTSD for a second, right?

01:17:29.680 Yeah.

01:17:30.680 And sort of this idea of an inappropriate reaction.

01:17:32.680 Yes.

01:17:33.680 On the same page that that happens?

01:17:37.680 Yes.

01:17:38.680 Okay.

01:17:39.680 How do you know that the disappointment that you feel in yourself is appropriate?

01:17:44.680 So, like, let's take two scenarios.

01:17:47.680 One is you secretly have PTSD and that all of the thoughts that you have are a equally inappropriate reaction.

01:17:54.680 How does someone know the difference?

01:17:57.680 How does someone know the difference between?

01:17:59.680 An appropriate disappointment and an inappropriate disappointment.

01:18:03.680 I mean, it depends on why you're disappointed.

01:18:07.680 If you're disappointed for selfish reasons, then that's inappropriate.

01:18:11.680 If you're disappointed because you should have been and it shows that you are trying to seek out more competence, then I think that's appropriate.

01:18:20.680 It's good motivation.

01:18:22.680 Say you missed, like, okay, I used to play soccer when I was a kid.

01:18:26.680 If I missed a penalty shot and I've been working on the penalty shot for a while, I think it's appropriate that I'm disappointed that I didn't hit the game-winning goal.

01:18:33.680 And that motivation there, that disappointment means I'm going to keep training harder and then make sure the next time we're in the game that I hold my team on my back and get the goal.

01:18:41.680 That's appropriate.

01:18:42.680 I'm disappointed.

01:18:43.680 Okay.

01:18:45.680 Let me just think for a second.

01:18:50.680 Okay, so in this case, what you do with disappointment is try harder, practice, get better, right?

01:19:06.680 So negative emotion isn't bad.

01:19:07.680 It drives you towards positive action.

01:19:09.680 Yes, I think negative emotion, push in the right direction.

01:19:13.680 And same thing with ADHD, like a lack of focus, I guess, in school.

01:19:18.680 A lot of, like, where they attribute negativity or disorders, if you channel that in the right place, it's extremely effective.

01:19:26.680 So being inadequate in something and feeling disappointed, feeling worthless, that is good motivation, that's good fuel to become better.

01:19:34.680 I think a lot of, yeah.

01:19:36.680 I can see.

01:19:37.680 So if I take that fuel and that, if I take that disappointment and I go sit on someone's couch and I cry it out and I'm no longer disappointed, then I don't end up improving.

01:19:47.680 Yes.

01:19:48.680 And that's how a lot of women and why I attribute therapy goers to, like, effeminate liberals because when women are disappointed and sad, they call up their friends and they say, let's eat chocolate and drink wine until we feel better. 0.96

01:20:00.680 Right.

01:20:01.680 Men will say, hey, get on this bench and get to 225.

01:20:04.680 Like, that's, that's our way of getting through something.

01:20:08.680 You know, if my friend is ever down about a girl or down about something, I'd like, you know, I'm not going to try to cope.

01:20:13.680 It's just like, let's get back to it.

01:20:15.680 The best solution is forward.

01:20:17.680 Yeah.

01:20:18.680 So, so I've got a couple of kind of questions about that.

01:20:21.680 One is, so like, that's what works for you, right?

01:20:26.680 Yes.

01:20:27.680 And is it possible that different things work for different people?

01:20:33.680 Yes.

01:20:34.680 That's true.

01:20:35.680 My initial reaction was like, and I was going to say, well, no, there's run one right way.

01:20:39.680 Actually, that that's true, but there's a better way.

01:20:42.680 Yeah.

01:20:43.680 It can work for most people, but I think God created men to be leaders and women to be the nurturers.

01:20:48.680 So I think God wants us to be as competent as possible and we should be strong.

01:20:52.680 And there is there, of course it can work for other people, but the most optimal way is to, is to work through it through, through, it's just to work through it instead of talk about it and sit in it.

01:21:04.680 Yeah.

01:21:05.680 So, so, so, and when you say optimal, like you're basing that idea of optimal because that's, how do you know that that's optimal?

01:21:12.680 Because your primary data set is you, right?

01:21:15.680 Yes.

01:21:16.680 And so you're basing optimal on your own experience.

01:21:21.680 Correct.

01:21:22.680 But, you know, also information, talking to other people, looking at history.

01:21:26.680 Yeah.

01:21:27.680 Yeah.

01:21:28.680 Okay.

01:21:29.680 But so now, now I is where I get confused. 0.99

01:21:31.680 I swear to God, I'm not trying to convince you of shit. 0.98

01:21:33.680 Okay. 0.99

01:21:34.680 I can tell.

01:21:35.680 I can tell.

01:21:36.680 So, so, but what I'm curious about is like, if you've never really tried therapy, how do you know that it is inferior to the things that you're doing?

01:21:44.680 I told you I did try.

01:21:46.680 I wouldn't call that trying it.

01:21:49.680 Okay.

01:21:50.680 Well, I guess, um, I would call that going to the ocean, going to the beach and saying, I don't like swimming when you don't get in the water.

01:21:57.680 Right. 0.98

01:21:58.680 You went into that room, you saw the big tits, you activated a script and you started flexing. 1.00

01:22:03.680 You didn't actually do therapy. 0.80

01:22:04.680 Well, you could just look at the history of, of men and you could look at the history of world leaders and people who have, uh, progress.

01:22:11.680 It's literally time is the most valuable currency.

01:22:14.680 That's the most valuable thing.

01:22:15.680 Money's not real.

01:22:16.680 Um, so you think about what are we spending that holds the most weight and it's time because all of our time is limited.

01:22:23.680 We're all going to die one day.

01:22:24.680 And if our time is being spent wasted talking about how to get better instead of getting better or improving, that's wasted time.

01:22:31.680 The most effective use of our time is forward, is progress, is creating something more, is inspiring more people, is building something.

01:22:37.680 That is the most effective use of every second.

01:22:39.680 How do you know what the right direction is?

01:22:40.680 God tells me.

01:22:42.680 God wants us to create.

01:22:44.680 God wants us to be strong.

01:22:46.680 God wants us to be able to provide.

01:22:49.680 All the time spent that I am sitting in therapy crying is time that my competition is getting better.

01:22:55.680 It's time spent where I am not working on what I'm supposed to be doing.

01:22:59.680 So I'm not quite sure what you think about data, and we can talk about that if you're not into, like, data or science.

01:23:07.680 But, like, so here's kind of my experience, and I'm, you know, just sharing it.

01:23:10.680 I'm not trying to convince you here.

01:23:11.680 Right.

01:23:12.680 Well, actually, let me close off one point about what therapy is.

01:23:14.680 So in the case of something like EMDR or PTSD, it's like, it's literally trying to rewire ourselves.

01:23:21.680 So cognitive behavioral therapy is a really good example of this that a lot of times are behaviors.

01:23:26.680 So I noticed that you're smoking something and you're drinking Red Bull.

01:23:29.680 Right.

01:23:30.680 So our behaviors are tied to certain internal impulses and that the better we understand the relationship between our thoughts, our emotions and our behaviors, the better control we will have over the whole system.

01:23:44.680 So cognitive behavioral therapy has been designed to teach people to better control usually their behaviors, but oftentimes their thoughts and their emotions as well.

01:23:52.680 So we can create the instrument that we want.

01:23:55.680 And emotional competence is a big part of this.

01:23:59.680 And a big part of emotional competence is familiarity with your emotions, getting in and like playing with the Play-Doh of your emotions.

01:24:08.680 And frequently in that kind of way there involves things like tears.

01:24:13.680 Right.

01:24:14.680 So if I if I have some something that I'm super sad about and super hurt about and I shove it down or I drink or whatever, and I don't engage in healthy behaviors.

01:24:24.680 One way to sort of fix that is to actually like cry, let that stuff up and out and kind of exercise it from the body.

01:24:33.680 And the value, I think, is sort of this.

01:24:36.680 I mean, maybe not the same because it sounds like you think prayer is superior, but you've used you even said that, you know, people will go through some level of I would call it catharsis where they're at Mecca.

01:24:46.680 All these tears are flowing.

01:24:48.680 They feel connected. 0.99

01:24:49.680 They feel like and you were kind of like letting that shit out. 0.99

01:24:52.680 Right. 0.99

01:24:53.680 Right.

01:24:54.680 And so I think the mechanism in therapy is very similar in some ways.

01:24:57.680 I think the big difference is there's different aspects about the psychology and neuroscience of things like surrender and spirituality.

01:25:04.680 OK.

01:25:05.680 But I think that you have a human who's sort of showing you through it.

01:25:09.680 Yes.

01:25:10.680 That's one thing.

01:25:12.680 The other two things you want to respond to that or I've got two other things I wanted to share.

01:25:17.680 I just want to quickly say, like, I think a lot of crying could be self pity and self loathing and serving the self by feeling bad about yourself and blaming.

01:25:24.680 Like when a lot of people cry, they do it because they're like, why me?

01:25:28.680 Why this?

01:25:29.680 I don't deserve this.

01:25:30.680 It's it's it's a it's a very selfish act.

01:25:34.680 But one of the most consistent things that I do for my patients is stop that cycle.

01:25:40.680 I completely agree.

01:25:42.680 Mm hmm. 0.99

01:25:43.680 I think that we see an overwhelming amount of what I would call emotional masturbation. 0.99

01:25:50.680 Mm hmm. 0.96

01:25:51.680 That is guys as like like support progress.

01:25:55.680 Yes.

01:25:56.680 Yes.

01:25:57.680 I mean, there are places that people will go and essentially emotionally vomit over and over and over again.

01:26:02.680 But over time, it doesn't get better.

01:26:04.680 Mm hmm.

01:26:05.680 So the whole point of like processing emotions is to be done with them, not to repeat that cycle over and over again.

01:26:11.680 And I've had my fair share of people who are way too indulgent with self pity.

01:26:16.680 But I would argue that that's the same problem in a different way, but is the same problem as all the others that I've said, including things like PTSD, which is that they're inappropriate emotional reaction or the emotions that they've lost control of are self pity.

01:26:31.680 Mm hmm.

01:26:32.680 Mm hmm.

01:26:33.680 So I one time had a patient who like this is early on before I became a really competent therapist and would come in and after they would complain about being depressed. 0.99

01:26:41.680 And six months later, like they came in, they had the same fucking complaints. 0.94

01:26:45.680 And I was like, are you getting better by coming here? 0.99

01:26:48.680 And he's like, no.

01:26:49.680 And I was like, what are we doing?

01:26:51.680 And he's like, I don't know.

01:26:52.680 I thought this is what we're supposed to do.

01:26:53.680 Isn't therapy like coming here?

01:26:54.680 And I just tell you about what's like wrong with my day.

01:26:56.680 And then we just like I just tell you everything that's wrong in my life.

01:26:59.680 And I'm like, is that actually helping?

01:27:00.680 That's my problem.

01:27:01.680 He's like, no, that's it.

01:27:03.680 No, it's not. 0.98

01:27:04.680 And then I was like, well, then what the fuck are we going to do about it? 0.96

01:27:07.680 Right. 0.98

01:27:08.680 And then like.

01:27:10.680 And then we started then the real therapy started.

01:27:13.680 But I'm I'm with anyway, so so I think that there's value to therapy.

01:27:18.680 That I would say that your understanding of this is incomplete.

01:27:23.680 Right.

01:27:24.680 And if I was trying to convince you, it's simply that you haven't tried it.

01:27:27.680 I don't I don't disagree with some of the judgments that you make.

01:27:31.680 But I would still say that those are judgments that you're making, like listening to a tiny

01:27:35.680 slice of the population, like people who are transgender who go to therapy account for 0.60

01:27:39.680 less than I'm pretty sure about that.

01:27:41.680 I don't know this.

01:27:42.680 I don't have the statistics right at hand, but I'd guess that they're less than one percent

01:27:45.680 of patients.

01:27:46.680 Ninety nine percent of people who go to therapy at definitely ninety five percent, if not more

01:27:51.680 realistically, I think gender dysphoria and stuff probably counts for about one percent

01:27:55.680 is my my gut, maybe two percent or three percent.

01:27:58.680 But the vast majority of people don't go for stuff like that.

01:28:04.680 The last thing that I want to say is that in my experience as a therapist, achievement

01:28:09.680 becomes way easier once people have gone through therapy.

01:28:12.680 So I work with a lot of people who are executives, people who are not the demographic that you're

01:28:17.680 describing.

01:28:18.680 So people who are at the top end of net worth like billionaires.

01:28:22.680 And these are people who are have built gigantic companies from the ground up. 0.99

01:28:27.680 And their experience in therapy is that it helps to take care of this emotional shit. 0.96

01:28:31.680 It's just about learning about this dimension of like self understanding. 0.95

01:28:36.680 And frequently I'll teach them meditate and all that kind of stuff, too.

01:28:39.680 But whether it's like startups or streamers or just ordinary kids who are 24 years old and

01:28:47.680 haven't done shit with their life, whatever the case is, in my experience that people usually get a lot better.

01:28:55.680 They learn about themselves.

01:28:57.680 They learn about things like their emotions and their thoughts, their desires, their impulses.

01:29:02.680 And they get better at controlling all of that.

01:29:04.680 And then they get better at life.

01:29:10.680 Okay.

01:29:15.680 But what did you want? Do you have a son?

01:29:17.680 No.

01:29:18.680 You saying that all now, I would prefer that my son never even have to get to that position.

01:29:26.680 He'd be strong enough to avoid that all.

01:29:28.680 That's my point.

01:29:29.680 Is that it can help people, but you need people, you need men that don't need it at all. 0.80

01:29:37.680 Okay.

01:29:38.680 So this is the other thing that I think is incomplete.

01:29:40.680 You're using the word need.

01:29:42.680 I would say that at least 50% of my patients don't need therapy.

01:29:49.680 So why do they go?

01:29:52.680 For optimization.

01:29:53.680 To master themselves.

01:29:54.680 Okay.

01:29:55.680 Okay.

01:29:56.680 To learn more about themselves from an expert who spent seven years studying to become a monk

01:30:01.680 and meditating in the Himalayas, and then eight years becoming a medical doctor, psychiatrist,

01:30:07.680 neuroscience researcher, an expert in the mind and the body.

01:30:12.680 And you go and you learn from that person about how you work.

01:30:17.680 When you have the impulse that you want to do anything, whether it be scratch something, scratch an itch, piss, smoke, make a joke.

01:30:28.680 Right.

01:30:29.680 Isn't it funny?

01:30:30.680 Like, you're kind of agreeing with me.

01:30:33.680 You're saying that because you're a monk and because you've connected with something spiritually, they're looking for some sort of guidance from you.

01:30:39.680 Isn't the ultimate form of that guidance just talking to God?

01:30:43.680 If I pray, that's like quicker.

01:30:45.680 It's almost the same thing, but just I see prayer as a better vessel for that.

01:30:51.680 It's similar.

01:30:52.680 Yeah.

01:30:53.680 So, I mean, I think I've said this several times and I'll say it again.

01:30:58.680 I'm not disagreeing with most of what you say, Sneeko. 0.97

01:31:02.680 I've never said that prayer is not good or is not incredibly effective.

01:31:06.680 My issue is one of probability and population.

01:31:11.680 So I would, I'll be the first to, I mean, I even said in my own experience, spirituality has helped me way more than psychotherapy.

01:31:21.680 But people are different.

01:31:23.680 And there are some people who come to me who spirituality benefits a lot.

01:31:27.680 And there are other people that we can, we sort of alluded to this at the beginning.

01:31:30.680 We can get into more if you want, but there's some people for whom faith is hard.

01:31:34.680 There's some people for whom they don't hear God's voice.

01:31:37.680 And it is a very dangerous assumption because this is an unfalsifiable hypothesis, right?

01:31:43.680 So if I say you're not trying hard enough, that's why you don't hear God's voice.

01:31:47.680 You can never disprove that.

01:31:49.680 So let's say that there's one human being on the planet who it's impossible to hear God's voice.

01:31:54.680 We would never be able to detect that, right?

01:31:57.680 They could be trying a hundred percent.

01:31:58.680 They could be doing everything right, but it's possible that this person will never hear it.

01:32:02.680 I disagree.

01:32:03.680 I think it's possible for everyone, but I see what you're saying.

01:32:06.680 Right.

01:32:07.680 But I mean, you're allowed to think that, but you don't know that.

01:32:13.680 You can have faith in that.

01:32:15.680 Sure.

01:32:16.680 So I also, for the record, agree with you, which is, you know, I agree with you that I think everyone can hear God's voice.

01:32:23.680 But I can also say that just because I believe that doesn't make it true.

01:32:26.680 In fact, what we know about truth is, to a certain degree, internal.

01:32:31.680 But we also know that there's plenty of data that, for example, you know, religiosity is protective in some ways.

01:32:38.680 But we also know that like people actually do know that.

01:32:45.680 Let me think about that.

01:32:47.680 We also know that.

01:32:48.680 Let's talk about men, for example, that like men still kill themselves at an alarming rate.

01:32:53.680 Right.

01:32:54.680 And we don't have great evidence that exercise is sufficient to protect against suicidality.

01:33:00.680 But don't you see, isn't there a correlation between the amount of people, how much we are talking about mental health and the rise in suicide in men?

01:33:08.680 More people are going to therapy than ever.

01:33:10.680 Mental health is being talked about more than ever.

01:33:11.680 And also the suicide rate has never been higher.

01:33:13.680 A little bit higher.

01:33:14.680 So what does a correlation mean to you?

01:33:18.680 A correlation means that maybe a correlation is when two things are consistent with each other.

01:33:30.680 Yeah.

01:33:31.680 So the question is, are we talking more about mental health because people are more suicidal than ever?

01:33:38.680 Or are people more suicidal than ever because we're talking too much about mental health?

01:33:42.680 I think both things could be true.

01:33:44.680 Yeah.

01:33:45.680 So that's what a correlation is, right?

01:33:46.680 There isn't a clear causation.

01:33:47.680 Now, the interesting thing about suicidality is that the suicide rate is higher than it's ever been, but not by much.

01:33:53.680 The really shocking thing, and this is what's really interesting, is that suicidality, especially in men, has been relatively constant.

01:33:59.680 It's going up a little bit, but it is not actually correlated with the rise in mental illness.

01:34:07.680 There's even one study that I was looking at recently that suggested that 50% of men who kill themselves have no evidence or history of mental illness, which, for the record, I kind of buy.

01:34:20.680 So I think a lot of suicide, a lot of men that kill themselves, and this is also like as a professional, there's a difference between someone coming into my office and who's suicidal because their mind is not functioning correctly.

01:34:32.680 This is mental illness.

01:34:33.680 It is a pathology. 0.99

01:34:35.680 Their thoughts are warped.

01:34:37.680 Okay?

01:34:38.680 Does that make sense?

01:34:39.680 Yes.

01:34:40.680 That's what we mean by illness.

01:34:41.680 It's not functioning properly.

01:34:42.680 But I'd say that half the men that come into my office, the reason they're suicidal is not because their mind is misfunctioning.

01:34:48.680 It's because it's functioning very well.

01:34:50.680 And they played the tape through to the end.

01:34:52.680 And their genuine assessment of their circumstances makes it so that staying alive is not as good of an option as just ending it.

01:35:04.680 That's what really scares me the most is I think a lot of men kill themselves who are not mentally ill.

01:35:09.680 They're just, life doesn't offer them anything.

01:35:13.680 Life doesn't offer them anything because they're not working towards something.

01:35:21.680 That's the best way to avoid depression is to be occupied with what you're doing so much that you don't have time to think about it.

01:35:29.680 A lot of this mental health crisis is due to the fact that people are inactive, they're lethargic, they're lazy, and they're living internally instead of externally.

01:35:40.680 Yeah.

01:35:41.680 So once again, I think this is like where I disagree with some, agree with some.

01:35:47.680 So I completely agree with you that a contributor to the mental health crisis, and now we're getting into the polemic because we're talking about agree and disagree, but is because of inactivity, completely agree.

01:35:56.680 But I think the first part of what you said is spoken like in terms of people can work, you know, work out and conquer depression.

01:36:03.680 I think there's a subgroup of people that can, but that really is a statement made by someone who I don't think has been clinically depressed.

01:36:09.680 Because if you really look and you talk to these people, I would argue that someone who's clinically depressed actually works way harder and puts forth a lot more effort than someone who is not depressed.

01:36:20.680 The difference is they just get very little out of it.

01:36:25.680 So like think about the hardest thing that you've had to do.

01:36:29.680 And what would your life be like if getting out of bed was that hard?

01:36:33.680 So the scale of difficulty of people who are like clinically depressed is that everything is like very difficult.

01:36:42.680 Very difficult. Everything's the rate loss.

01:36:45.680 I think it's just a belief, like saying that if you believe that it's very difficult to get up, then it's going to be very difficult.

01:36:51.680 But if you don't even have that as a possibility in your mind, then that's not going to be a problem.

01:36:55.680 If you believe like I'm clinically depressed, I have a difficult time waking up.

01:37:01.680 Guess what's going to happen?

01:37:02.680 So, Nico, that's not how it works.

01:37:04.680 So people don't think I'm clinically depressed.

01:37:07.680 People resist it for a long time.

01:37:09.680 I would even say probably 50% of people who are clinically depressed don't even realize they're depressed.

01:37:15.680 They just think life is really, really hard.

01:37:17.680 They're not even aware.

01:37:18.680 There's a huge underdiagnosis problem.

01:37:22.680 So it's just life becomes cripplingly difficult.

01:37:25.680 Do you give these people meds?

01:37:29.680 You give them SSRIs?

01:37:30.680 Sometimes.

01:37:31.680 Sometimes.

01:37:32.680 So I would say that my personal prescribing pattern is 25% of my patients are on medication.

01:37:38.680 If I prescribe medication, it depends on the patient.

01:37:41.680 If I prescribe medication, I would say that 70% to 80% of people that I prescribe medication for will be off of medication within 12 to 18 months.

01:37:52.680 So I think medicine is a tool just like anything else.

01:37:56.680 I don't think that antidepressant or anti-anxiety medication fix anything.

01:38:00.680 But they make your life easier as long as you take the pill.

01:38:03.680 Easier in some ways.

01:38:04.680 More difficult in others.

01:38:05.680 And I don't think that they lead to it.

01:38:07.680 That's why I think it goes back to belief.

01:38:08.680 Because you have to accept that life is always going to be difficult.

01:38:12.680 It's not supposed to be easy.

01:38:13.680 It's going to be hard.

01:38:14.680 Who said that?

01:38:15.680 Hold on a second.

01:38:16.680 I don't agree with that.

01:38:17.680 You're saying that giving the medication makes their lives easier.

01:38:21.680 No, I don't say medication.

01:38:23.680 But I'm saying that I don't agree with you that life is supposed to be hard.

01:38:25.680 I think life is supposed to be hard.

01:38:26.680 I think life is supposed to be easy.

01:38:28.680 Really?

01:38:29.680 Yeah.

01:38:30.680 My life is easy.

01:38:31.680 Is your life hard?

01:38:32.680 Yeah.

01:38:33.680 I would say my life is difficult.

01:38:34.680 Yeah.

01:38:35.680 I mean, no.

01:38:36.680 Compared to a lot of people now, I live in the first world, make a lot of money.

01:38:39.680 Forget about comparison.

01:38:40.680 Is your experience of life that it's harder?

01:38:42.680 Yeah.

01:38:43.680 There's difficult things that I go through every single day.

01:38:45.680 Every day.

01:38:46.680 Aren't you tired of that?

01:38:49.680 But no.

01:38:50.680 I enjoy conquering.

01:38:53.680 I enjoy difficult situations.

01:38:55.680 I enjoy solving the puzzle.

01:38:57.680 That's what makes life worth it is the everyday struggle.

01:39:01.680 If you can't accept that, then you're going to become depressed.

01:39:04.680 I think if people believe that it's supposed to be easy, that's when they fall into depression.

01:39:08.680 If you can't accept the fact that you need to work, then you're going to, yeah, of course, you're going to cry.

01:39:12.680 So let me ask you a different question.

01:39:15.680 Would you say that you suffer on a daily basis?

01:39:19.680 Suffer?

01:39:20.680 No.

01:39:21.680 I wouldn't say suffer because I've seen suffering.

01:39:23.680 I've seen suffering.

01:39:24.680 Yeah.

01:39:25.680 So, I mean, I think my life is pretty easy.

01:39:26.680 I think there's a language issue here, like a semantic issue.

01:39:28.680 But I think that it sounds to me like you rather enjoy the difficulty of life.

01:39:33.680 That's a better way to deal with it.

01:39:36.680 Like, my dad's from Haiti.

01:39:39.680 And from a very young age, I always saw some of the worst poverty the world has ever seen.

01:39:43.680 Haiti is one of the poorest countries in the world.

01:39:45.680 And they don't go to therapy there.

01:39:46.680 They don't get the suicide rate is very low.

01:39:48.680 The suicide rate is higher in first world countries where people get to talk about their feelings more. 0.89

01:39:52.680 And when people get to think about what they think and how they feel and how it should be better.

01:39:57.680 But the suicide rate is lower, even though there's more poverty.

01:40:00.680 And it's because they don't even that idea that life is supposed to be easy doesn't exist.

01:40:06.680 They've all accepted that it's difficult and they find enjoyment anyway.

01:40:10.680 Right.

01:40:11.680 So there's a couple of things.

01:40:13.680 So that's I think it's really interesting to talk to you because I don't think you're wrong.

01:40:17.680 Once again, I think it's incomplete.

01:40:18.680 So there are a couple of things to consider.

01:40:20.680 One is how is suicide rate and Haiti measured?

01:40:24.680 No, I don't know.

01:40:25.680 I don't know.

01:40:26.680 Right.

01:40:27.680 I know that's not a thing there.

01:40:28.680 I know that like the average there's there's no like therapy system.

01:40:31.680 There's not this.

01:40:32.680 Hold on.

01:40:33.680 Yeah.

01:40:34.680 So if you don't have a how.

01:40:36.680 So when someone dies.

01:40:39.680 Anyway, so a couple of something, a couple of things to understand.

01:40:42.680 One is in developing countries like Haiti.

01:40:45.680 One thing you've got to be super careful about is that suicides are not cataloged to suicides because they don't have an infrastructure to detect suicide.

01:40:53.680 It's anecdotal evidence.

01:40:55.680 I'm saying, like, I know people talk to people and I would vouch for the fact that Haitians, if there's any. 1.00

01:41:00.680 Well, they would probably say the same thing.

01:41:02.680 They don't know anybody who's like, that's not really real there.

01:41:04.680 They don't talk about that.

01:41:05.680 It doesn't.

01:41:06.680 Which is.

01:41:07.680 Yeah.

01:41:08.680 But everybody in the first world, everybody in America, everybody in the West knows somebody who's killed themselves or threatens to kill themselves.

01:41:12.680 So people cut the wrist.

01:41:14.680 And you're not you're not wrong that.

01:41:16.680 So I think there's a caveat there.

01:41:18.680 It's not quite as black and white, but I would also agree that.

01:41:21.680 And I think we sort of have evidence for this, that the better society becomes, the worse our mental health becomes.

01:41:30.680 So the more that we become the more that our physical needs get met, the worse our mind will become.

01:41:37.680 Strong men make easy times, hard times make strong men, blah, blah, blah.

01:41:42.680 Yeah.

01:41:43.680 So I think it's strong men make easy times, easy times make weak men, weak men make hard times.

01:41:48.680 And we are in the easy times have made weak men, period.

01:41:52.680 Yeah.

01:41:53.680 So I don't quite agree with that, because I think that there's also like a level of evolution where the the the difficulties that we face have changed.

01:42:02.680 Right.

01:42:03.680 So the way that I see that is like we had to fight for survival and now we have to fight for contentment.

01:42:08.680 It's just the the the the enemy we're facing is different.

01:42:13.680 So we used to die from things like infections, but like, thank God for antibiotics.

01:42:17.680 And now the crisis that we're dealing with, because we've sort of fixed everything else.

01:42:22.680 Mm hmm.

01:42:23.680 So it's really interesting, because if you really look at it, every dimension of medicine has gotten better over the last 50 years, except for mental health.

01:42:31.680 Mental health is the only one place where we're losing the war.

01:42:35.680 And it's because we have so much time to think about it.

01:42:38.680 We've never had more time to focus on it.

01:42:40.680 Yeah.

01:42:41.680 So I think that we have more idle minds than we've ever had.

01:42:44.680 We interestingly enough, if you look at our society, we have the least time to process that we've ever had in the history of humanity.

01:42:52.680 How is that?

01:42:53.680 So because if you think about the way that people used to live, like we used to be like, let's say hunter gatherers or farmers.

01:42:59.680 So we had a lot of rote activity with mental time that was free.

01:43:04.680 So our minds were free most of the time.

01:43:06.680 Now our minds are occupied most of the time.

01:43:08.680 So, for example, like, let's say we went out and hunted.

01:43:11.680 Right.

01:43:12.680 And I shoot an arrow and I miss the deer.

01:43:14.680 And then you shoot an arrow and you hit the deer.

01:43:16.680 And then I feel bad about it because, man, Sneeko is such a better. 0.99

01:43:19.680 He's so Chad and I'm so beta or whatever the fuck. 0.98

01:43:22.680 And then what happens is we carry this deer for two hours back and then I have plenty of time to process on that two hours like my feeling of inferiority. 0.99

01:43:30.680 Mm hmm.

01:43:31.680 And so if you look at like hunter gatherers and stuff like they've just got a lot of time to mentally work through whatever goes on.

01:43:36.680 Now what's going on is we're so our minds are so distracted usually by technology that we have no time left for processing.

01:43:42.680 Yeah. 0.94

01:43:43.680 And now we have studies that show if you fucking go for a walk where there are trees, it's like good for your mental health. 0.96

01:43:48.680 Like, we know that is it some of it vitamin D? 0.98

01:43:51.680 Sure.

01:43:52.680 But some of it is just processing time.

01:43:53.680 We don't have any time to process.

01:43:55.680 This is why a lot of people like what happens is they're so technologically occupied.

01:43:59.680 And then when they go to sleep at night, the thoughts come flooding back.

01:44:03.680 All of the things that they've they built up, everything that they've suppressed, everything that they've shoved down comes flooding back and then they can't sleep.

01:44:12.680 Then they've got insomnia and then they'll use a CBD, whatever, or like drink or, you know, whatever.

01:44:19.680 Or they'll wait till they're so fucking fatigued that they absolutely pass out because they can't go to bed. 0.73

01:44:25.680 We agree on on seems like we agree. 0.94

01:44:36.680 Yeah.

01:44:37.680 It's also that weird polemic that we're slipping into where it's like, do we agree or disagree?

01:44:43.680 I don't know how we keep on getting here, but I think it's something about something about the way that you speak triggers that in me.

01:44:52.680 Yeah.

01:44:53.680 I guess it's a pretty like aggressive way of speaking.

01:44:57.680 But I don't think you're aggressive.

01:44:59.680 There's something subtle about it.

01:45:00.680 I'm still trying to figure it out.

01:45:02.680 What were you going to say earlier?

01:45:03.680 Remember, you're going to uncover something like an hour ago and you laughed and said, I'll tell you later.

01:45:07.680 What was that?

01:45:08.680 What was that?

01:45:09.680 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

01:45:10.680 Oh, yeah, yeah.

01:45:11.680 So but I mean, so you actually got there pretty quick.

01:45:13.680 This is this whole thing about like, so I don't know if this kind of makes sense to you, but being noticed is very important for you.

01:45:19.680 That's why you like it.

01:45:20.680 You like being seen.

01:45:21.680 You love being seen.

01:45:24.680 Right.

01:45:25.680 And I mean, you kind of you kind of jumped right into it because you said, like, yeah, I felt invisible, like.

01:45:29.680 And so this is where what I would encourage you to really think about is if you pay attention to yourself, you'll find I think God will help with this, by the way.

01:45:36.680 So I totally see why I totally see.

01:45:41.680 I think it fits with my understanding of you, why religion is so potent for you.

01:45:47.680 But I think, you know, I think you really like to be noticed.

01:45:52.680 And I think you actually like to play games with people, and it makes you very happy when you're when they're able to see through it.

01:45:59.680 And then I would also venture that.

01:46:02.680 You don't like it when they see some things that you're not proud of.

01:46:08.680 And the beautiful thing about God is that it's OK for God to see those things.

01:46:13.680 Right.

01:46:14.680 Because there's no ego with God.

01:46:15.680 But with other human beings, there's ego.

01:46:17.680 To which I would say this is a my perspective.

01:46:21.680 OK, I'm not saying I'm right here.

01:46:22.680 I feel like I'm right about a lot of things around psychotherapy and whatnot.

01:46:25.680 But this is my opinion.

01:46:27.680 Believe it a lot.

01:46:28.680 But so here's the thing.

01:46:30.680 So you're saying that the joy comes from God.

01:46:34.680 Right.

01:46:35.680 It's special because with God, you're egoless and with with without your ego, you can surrender to God and then it feels amazing.

01:46:43.680 Right.

01:46:45.680 Yes.

01:46:46.680 So one thing I would encourage you to think about is what is responsible for all of that goodness.

01:46:51.680 Is it is the key thing, the surrender of ego or is it God?

01:46:58.680 It's God.

01:46:59.680 So the cool thing.

01:47:02.680 So I would disagree.

01:47:03.680 I think God is really good at getting you to surrender your ego.

01:47:06.680 But I would say that surrendering your ego is going to have the effect.

01:47:10.680 God is just a really good way to do that. 0.98

01:47:13.680 And if you can surrender your ego, even with another human being, it's fucking liberating, man. 0.88

01:47:17.680 It feels amazing. 0.97

01:47:20.680 Right. And that's it's it's almost impossible to to do that.

01:47:25.680 No, it isn't.

01:47:29.680 That's that's why people like therapy, because they go that and they go there and it's a place where they can surrender their ego and they have someone who helps them see that.

01:47:39.680 We're trying to convince you to go to therapy, but I think that almost impossible is like it's like kind of saying like it's almost impossible to fly.

01:47:45.680 Well, yeah, if you don't know how to build a plane, I agree.

01:47:48.680 But there's a there there are literally techniques.

01:47:51.680 And even even if you look at Islam and Mecca and things like that, and, you know, all these rituals they come up with are all. 0.99

01:47:58.680 Physiologically and psychologically priming you for surrender to clean yourself, to wear white.

01:48:04.680 They figured this stuff out, man, that ain't random.

01:48:07.680 Mm hmm.

01:48:08.680 Someone sat down and realized, OK, when I wash myself before I go into a temple, my capacity for surrender increases.

01:48:14.680 Mm hmm.

01:48:15.680 It becomes easier to surrender.

01:48:17.680 Right.

01:48:18.680 And so the interesting thing is, in my experience, it's the surrender itself that leads to the awesomeness.

01:48:24.680 And God is just very easy to surrender to because there's not an ego on the other side of the table.

01:48:34.680 Right.

01:48:35.680 It's hard to it's hard to surrender when there's an ego on the other side.

01:48:40.680 Harder.

01:48:41.680 Completely agree.

01:48:42.680 And the challenge is that not everyone can feel God the way that you can.

01:48:47.680 Everyone, everyone can.

01:48:50.680 I know you're saying that there's too many generalizations, but everyone can.

01:48:54.680 And it's it's where I also disagree is just saying that it's it's all has to do with faith.

01:48:59.680 I think there's a lot of logic that comes around God.

01:49:04.680 It's not just it's not just faith.

01:49:06.680 It's it's also scientific.

01:49:08.680 Yeah, I think that there's a lot of logic when it comes to God, too.

01:49:13.680 I think it's just faith.

01:49:15.680 I think faith seems to be for especially for the Abrahamic religions, faith seems to be the central piece of it.

01:49:20.680 That's my understanding as an outsider.

01:49:23.680 I would say that faith is more.

01:49:26.680 It appears to be more important than logic.

01:49:28.680 I don't know if you you're the one who's Islamic.

01:49:30.680 So you tell me.

01:49:32.680 Or Muslim. 1.00

01:49:33.680 Right.

01:49:34.680 But I wouldn't be able to.

01:49:35.680 Well, this is my personal experience.

01:49:36.680 I wouldn't be able to find faith without first logically coming to the fact that God created everything.

01:49:44.680 First, I have to I had to understand that there has to be one intelligent designer that we can't exist without God, that we're all the concept of Tawheed, of oneness, that there's one creator and we're all he created the universe.

01:49:58.680 So arriving there logically, then help me find faith.

01:50:02.680 Yeah.

01:50:03.680 So I think that that's oftentimes many people's experiences that they have some kind of intellectual.

01:50:09.680 I don't know what the word I'm looking for is like an intellectual comfort sounds too small, like an intellectual realization, and then that sort of forms faith.

01:50:24.680 Yeah.

01:50:25.680 Okay, I'll be there soon.

01:50:27.680 You got to go soon.

01:50:31.680 I think I usually talk to people for between an hour and two.

01:50:35.680 And and so we're coming up on two hours.

01:50:37.680 Do you have other thoughts or questions?

01:50:39.680 No, I think this is a good discussion.

01:50:41.680 I think.

01:50:42.680 I think this is an interesting conversation.

01:50:47.680 Did I satisfy your your you had asked a question about what what I understood about that it being invisible and being noticed and stuff that that that I answer that I know I was being playful about it earlier, but I don't want to leave you hanging there.

01:51:02.680 I think it's less about being noticed, but also it's an innate desire to I want to inspire and I like connecting with people.

01:51:10.680 It's not really like a look at me, look at me thing.

01:51:12.680 It's more that I want to be sure that I have a positive impact on the world, that there's something there.

01:51:18.680 Where does that come from?

01:51:20.680 I don't know.

01:51:24.680 I think that that's a I think it's a universal.

01:51:28.680 I think it's the masculine imperative. 0.55

01:51:31.680 So this is what's so interesting to me is why do you why are you so quick?

01:51:37.680 And it's not an accusation.

01:51:38.680 I'm really curious.

01:51:39.680 Like, why are you so quick to say your experience is universal?

01:51:42.680 Because I don't think that I'm that I don't think I'm different from most people.

01:51:46.680 I think a lot of people are I think men are all the same and women are all the same to an extent.

01:51:52.680 We all have the same sort of wants and needs.

01:51:55.680 Well, I think deep down we're way more similar than people give us credit for.

01:52:03.680 Okay.

01:52:04.680 I think a lot of people like to feel as if they're unique.

01:52:07.680 I think that's why people go to therapy to think that their individual experience is special.

01:52:11.680 And I think we need to remove that idea that we're all special because we're not, you know, we're all God's creation and we're not that different.

01:52:21.680 You know, there's nothing that really separates me from anybody from from you or anybody watching this right now.

01:52:27.680 I don't think that I don't think we're that different.

01:52:30.680 And I think the best thing we can do with our time is to is to create inspire.

01:52:35.680 Hmm.

01:52:36.680 I think I figured out why this becomes polemic so quickly.

01:52:40.680 You do speak in very declarative statements that seem that they don't offer a whole lot of wiggle room.

01:52:52.680 So I think it invites other people to disagree with you because you don't have a statement that's like 95 percent in one direction.

01:52:58.680 Everything is 100 percent.

01:53:00.680 That's true.

01:53:01.680 So so and I think unless someone agrees with you 100 percent, it naturally invites the discrepancy.

01:53:08.680 Right.

01:53:09.680 So if I say, like, all people are X, it's very easy for people to come back and say, no, they aren't.

01:53:16.680 But if I say some people are X, it doesn't invite. 0.98

01:53:21.680 It's it's less inviting for disagreement, but it's OK.

01:53:26.680 I mean, it's really interesting.

01:53:27.680 I mean, what I would encourage for you, if that's OK, can I offer you some.

01:53:32.680 Sure.

01:53:33.680 Things to think about.

01:53:34.680 Sure.

01:53:35.680 The first is, do you like I know you talk to a lot of people and you seem actually quite open minded to me.

01:53:42.680 Is that fair?

01:53:43.680 Yeah, I agree.

01:53:49.680 But what I'm kind of curious about is you don't the way that you talk.

01:53:54.680 So I'm a little bit confused because on the one hand, you seem quite open minded.

01:53:57.680 So even in not debating, but, you know, at the very beginning, you're like therapy doesn't work for anyone.

01:54:02.680 And then like later on, you're able to see, OK, I can understand how it could be useful for some people.

01:54:06.680 But I still think prayer is more effective, which is completely fair.

01:54:09.680 Right. But there's you're not actually very rigid with your.

01:54:12.680 You're thinking either a lot of declarative statements, a lot of I would say inflammatory statements, a lot of like lack of like.

01:54:21.680 Empathy.

01:54:23.680 Which I think upsets a lot of people, right, because you don't really you're what you believe is like universally true is what I am really getting a lot of from you.

01:54:32.680 So what I'm kind of curious about is you seem open minded, but.

01:54:37.680 Do you like listen to other people?

01:54:39.680 I do quite a bit.

01:54:41.680 I think I listen to people more than most.

01:54:43.680 Yeah, go ahead.

01:54:44.680 I mean, I had an interview series in New York called the one minute podcast where I just would set up a table in the subway station and talk to people and just look at them and listen.

01:54:56.680 I think I've talked and listen to more people than ninety nine point nine percent of people.

01:55:01.680 Obviously, you probably have done it extensively, but compared to how long I've been doing interviews and speaking to people doing the one minute podcast, I think that I have a sample rate of speaking to people.

01:55:12.680 That's more than most by far.

01:55:14.680 Yeah.

01:55:15.680 So.

01:55:16.680 So what I'm curious about is when someone shares something that is contrary to your world view, what does your mind to do with it?

01:55:25.680 Probably immediately fight against it.

01:55:31.680 Or no, not not even just that, but also.

01:55:35.680 No, I allow myself to to see if it's true.

01:55:39.680 I think about it.

01:55:41.680 Think about it.

01:55:42.680 Yeah.

01:55:43.680 So that's also what's kind of confusing for me is like, I think I can see you thinking about it.

01:55:48.680 And part of the reason that I was interested in speaking with you is because I've seen a little bit of your stuff and you actually seem to think about stuff.

01:55:57.680 Like, I don't get the sense that I mean, I think you're quite inflammatory, but I don't think you're you're quite as rigid as you don't seem very rigid.

01:56:04.680 I mean, you actually think about stuff.

01:56:05.680 But what I would really encourage you to do is when someone says something that you think about.

01:56:15.680 Don't just critically analyze it, try your hardest to understand how that could be true for this person.

01:56:26.680 That's another idea that I just disagree with philosophically.

01:56:30.680 I don't think that there's your truth or my truth as much as people like to give it.

01:56:35.680 I think that there is one universal truth.

01:56:39.680 And that's what I that's what I've always been trying to get to is what is the truth, because everybody has this belief that there is my truth, my truth.

01:56:46.680 And I think that's where people lead astray.

01:56:48.680 I know.

01:56:49.680 Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.

01:56:50.680 I don't think that I'm not talking about my truth or your truth.

01:56:53.680 I know it sounds weird because that's what I'm sort of asking you to do.

01:56:56.680 But I'd actually say that it's kind of bizarre.

01:56:58.680 But to get to the one truth, I think this is a really good way to do it.

01:57:01.680 OK, so it's not your their truth or your truth.

01:57:05.680 You don't know that your truth is closer to the truth than their truth.

01:57:09.680 Mm hmm.

01:57:10.680 So if you really want to understand what the truth is, you have to try to approach it from all the different angles.

01:57:17.680 It's like looking at, you know, have you heard this this tale of the blind men and the elephant?

01:57:22.680 No.

01:57:23.680 So like four blind people touch different parts of the elephant and they make conclusions about what it is. 0.96

01:57:29.680 Mm hmm.

01:57:30.680 So one person is like this is a cat because they touch its tail.

01:57:33.680 One person is like touches the trunk and I don't know what this fire hose.

01:57:37.680 I don't know. One person touches the foot and it's like this is a tree.

01:57:40.680 One person touches an ear and it's like this is a leaf.

01:57:43.680 Mm hmm.

01:57:44.680 So one of the really interesting things is that and I think you're quite insightful and you're quite a critical thinker.

01:57:51.680 And it seems like you've accessed some dimension of spiritual knowledge, which is also quite potent.

01:57:56.680 So I'm not trying to downplay anything that you've learned.

01:58:00.680 And at the same time, knowing people as well as I know them and maybe I don't know you, I think you will gain a lot.

01:58:10.680 If you really try to understand.

01:58:13.680 And set aside your own beliefs and really try to understand their perspective, because I get the sense that you listen, but I do also get the sense that your mind is very automatic with like counter arguments.

01:58:25.680 The thoughts pop up instantly.

01:58:28.680 I think you're just going to get more.

01:58:30.680 And it's not about I'm not talking about woke, like, oh, everyone has their truth.

01:58:34.680 Like, I think there's truth to that statement, but that's not what I'm alluding to.

01:58:37.680 What I'm saying is the simply that you're a flawed human being and everybody else is a flawed human being.

01:58:41.680 And if you try to understand, really try to sit in someone else's shoes and understand their perspective, that you will have an enriched understanding of the world.

01:58:50.680 And my experience has been the more people whose perspectives I understand, the closer I get to that common truth, because it's the part that everyone agrees about that is the closest to the truth.

01:59:04.680 That's a logical assumption, but that's been my experience or just something to think about.

01:59:16.680 Do you ever go to therapy?

01:59:21.680 Do I ever go to therapy?

01:59:23.680 I have done therapy for about eight to 12 weeks in my life.

01:59:30.680 The last thing I want to ask you, like a lot of people in the chat are asking, how do they get it?

01:59:42.680 How do they overcome porn addiction or masturbation addiction? 0.53

01:59:46.680 It's a great question. 0.75

01:59:49.680 A couple of things.

01:59:50.680 One is we've got a bunch of resources about that.

01:59:53.680 If people are interested, like I'll do like lectures and stuff on porn addiction.

01:59:56.680 So we have stuff on that on YouTube, but I'll answer now in kind of a quick way.

02:00:01.680 So here's what we have to understand about porn addiction.

02:00:03.680 Any addiction exists because of two things.

02:00:06.680 When an activity gives us pleasure and takes away pain, we have the capacity to become addicted to it.

02:00:13.680 If you really look at addiction, there is a cycle of addiction.

02:00:18.680 So in the first phase of addiction, all it does is make us feel good.

02:00:23.680 In the second phase of addiction, so let's say like something like smoking or coffee or playing a video game.

02:00:27.680 The first game that you play is fun. 0.99

02:00:29.680 The first time you jerk off and you watch porn, it's fantastic, right? 1.00

02:00:32.680 There's no downside. 0.99

02:00:33.680 Then what happens over time is we develop a tolerance to the positive.

02:00:38.680 So the first cup of caffeine coffee that I drink in my life will keep me awake for 24 hours.

02:00:43.680 But if I drink it every way, I develop a tolerance.

02:00:45.680 This is a neuroscientific mechanism.

02:00:47.680 This is also part of the reason that people will start to...

02:00:50.680 Many people will start to watch more hardcore or extreme pornography over time.

02:00:55.680 Because they get desensitized or develop a tolerance.

02:00:59.680 So the second phase of addiction is sort of the, you stop enjoying it.

02:01:05.680 And then the other thing that starts to happen is it suppresses our negative emotional experience.

02:01:11.680 And if you really work with people who are addicted to pornography, what you'll find is that they're not actually very lustful.

02:01:17.680 They use it as an emotional regulation technique.

02:01:20.680 When they feel bored, when they feel sad, when they're trying to keep negative thoughts at bay,

02:01:25.680 oftentimes we're not even aware of it because men are alexithymic, which means that we are colorblind to our internal emotional state.

02:01:34.680 We're so good at ignoring and shoving down our emotions, we're not even aware when we feel them.

02:01:39.680 So a lot of that porn behavior is actually driven by negative emotions.

02:01:44.680 So the real way to break free of porn addiction is, first of all, you have to find...

02:01:50.680 You have to do something with...

02:01:52.680 So porn serves a purpose. That's why we get addicted to stuff.

02:01:56.680 We will ruin our lives for an addiction because...

02:01:59.680 Not because the addiction is bad, because it's really good.

02:02:02.680 So a good example of this is I had a patient who was addicted to heroin.

02:02:07.680 Getting fired from their job, going through a divorce, on the brink of financial ruin.

02:02:12.680 Kids don't talk to them.

02:02:14.680 And then I was like, bro, don't you just...

02:02:16.680 Like, I don't understand how you don't get this. 0.99

02:02:18.680 Like, heroin is fucking ruining every dimension of your life. 0.99

02:02:22.680 Why don't you just stop? 0.99

02:02:24.680 And then he turned to me and he was like, well, it's because that every part of my life is falling apart that I can't stop.

02:02:32.680 Heroin is the only time that my life is put together.

02:02:36.680 The rest, when I'm not high, like everything's falling apart.

02:02:39.680 So for most people who are addicted, there's this neuroscientific component, but there's also something underlying that is driving the addiction.

02:02:47.680 So you have to fix that.

02:02:49.680 So whatever insecurity it is, whatever, however you manage your emotions, you can metabolize your emotions, you can hit the gym, you can go pray, you can go see a therapist.

02:02:58.680 Those are all very effective.

02:03:00.680 And I think like everything all together is ideal, unless something doesn't work for you, which is totally fair.

02:03:07.680 And so you have to fix what's driving the underlying addiction.

02:03:11.680 And if you look at the science of porn addiction, the number one thing that correlates with having a pornography addiction is a sense of meaninglessness in life.

02:03:22.680 So finding purpose is a very powerful antidote to porn addiction.

02:03:26.680 And a simple way to understand that is you have to have a reason to stop watching porn.

02:03:32.680 You got to be doing something with your life. 0.99

02:03:35.680 Otherwise, like if you're fucking sitting at home all day, like why the fuck not, right? 1.00

02:03:39.680 Your brain is sitting there and it's like, we've been sitting here for six hours. 1.00

02:03:42.680 We haven't been doing anything. 1.00

02:03:43.680 Let me watch some porn.

02:03:45.680 And so you got to fix whatever it is.

02:03:48.680 You got to start to get some purpose, do some emotional metabolism, which is the ultimate fuel for the porn addiction.

02:03:55.680 And then there's also a behavioral component of like, you know, reducing your consumption, limiting your consumption, making it so when you have an impulse to watch porn is it isn't so easy.

02:04:08.680 So if you sort of have an impulse to engage in an addictive behavior, if you can create time between the impulse and the access, that will help a lot.

02:04:19.680 And if you really think about it, people who develop technology understand this.

02:04:25.680 So it used to be that I had to unlock my phone and then open an app in order to like look at cat pictures.

02:04:33.680 But phone developers are getting better and better and better at face ID, thumbprint.

02:04:39.680 And so now it's easy anytime we have an impulse to access it.

02:04:43.680 And the more time that we delay, the more that our impulse can disappear or we can start to think or we can think, OK, I don't have time for this.

02:04:51.680 But like people are getting really, really good at like I have an impulse.

02:04:55.680 Let me gratify it right this second.

02:04:57.680 So you have to work on that, too, which is like really limiting how easy it is to access porn.

02:05:02.680 So this is very simple stuff.

02:05:04.680 Like if you've got a Pornhub account, delete it, a log out of whatever, you know, stuff that you have.

02:05:10.680 So that's not easy to access or delete it all.

02:05:14.680 So it's hard to find or whatever.

02:05:15.680 Like you can you can do all that kind of stuff and it'll help.

02:05:17.680 But I think that usually working with addictions, you've got to fix that underlying stuff.

02:05:21.680 And the good news is that the addiction oftentimes melts away on its own if you do the rest of the work.

02:05:26.680 You've got to do the work.

02:05:28.680 You've got to do the work.

02:05:29.680 You have to do the work.

02:05:30.680 Absolutely, man.

02:05:31.680 I think the last thing that I'll share is that in my experience, therapy is a lot of work.

02:05:36.680 It's not like a.

02:05:37.680 I mean, it's it's heavy, dude.

02:05:39.680 It's like it's like lifting, just lifting your emotions and lifting your thoughts. 0.99

02:05:43.680 And, you know, there's a heavy shit down there. 0.96

02:05:45.680 It's definitely it's definitely easier than sparring. 0.99

02:05:48.680 Sitting and talking about your childhood.

02:05:51.680 Yes.

02:05:52.680 Talking about your childhood is easier than, you know.

02:05:55.680 I mean, no, I mean, I think I think some some people are much more comfortable with their body than they are with their emotions.

02:06:05.680 Especially men like talking about emotions is very hard for men.

02:06:09.680 Vulnerability is very hard for men.

02:06:12.680 Because there's ego involved.

02:06:13.680 Like surrendering your ego is really hard.

02:06:15.680 Like, I'm not saying that sparring is easy, but I think there's plenty of people who love sparring like that plenty of people.

02:06:22.680 It's not hard.

02:06:23.680 They live for it.

02:06:24.680 And, you know.

02:06:25.680 So I don't I don't agree with the generalization of your statement, but I completely agree that for some people, for me, sparring is harder than talking about my emotions.

02:06:37.680 For sure.

02:06:39.680 For sure.

02:06:40.680 So in a sense, I'm proving your point.

02:06:42.680 I just I think people are different.

02:06:46.680 Does that answer the porn addiction question?

02:06:48.680 It does.

02:06:49.680 It does.

02:06:50.680 Any other thoughts or questions before we wrap up for the day?

02:06:54.680 Thank you.

02:06:55.680 Thank you, man.

02:06:56.680 Thank you.

02:06:57.680 This is a good conversation.

02:06:58.680 I need to listen to this.

02:07:00.680 Yeah.

02:07:01.680 Yeah.

02:07:02.680 Your energy has changed over the course of the conversation.

02:07:06.680 I appreciate everything that you put into it.

02:07:08.680 Thanks, man.

02:07:09.680 I appreciate you.

02:07:10.680 I could see that you actually appreciate your attention and focus on this.

02:07:14.680 Yeah.

02:07:15.680 Take care, man.

02:07:16.680 Good luck.

02:07:17.680 I hope to see you again soon.

02:07:18.680 Yeah, man.

02:07:19.680 Take care.

02:07:20.680 All right.

02:07:21.680 Bye.

02:07:22.680 Oof.

02:07:25.680 Oh.

02:07:30.680 Oh.

02:07:31.680 Oh.

02:07:32.680 Oh.

02:07:33.680 Oh.

02:07:34.680 Oh.

02:07:35.680 Oh.

02:07:37.680 Oh.

02:07:38.680 Oh.

SNEAKO - December 08, 2023

SNEAKOs Full Therapy Session With HealthyGamerGG

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