On this episode of Stay Free with Russell Brand, Jake Smith and Dave Fields discuss the Epstein scandal, the ice raids on Roblox, and the rise of Christianity in the 21st century. Plus, the birthdays of Joe Budden and Fiddy.
00:02:03.000There was this brief moment in our friendship when you would send me like rappers that were still making their stuff in jail and like using like, my microphone was a phone hanging out of.
00:02:13.000Like you're like oh, that's the thing they give you for the bathroom in jail, from a bedsheet.
00:02:19.000Uh, Masrell 20, Mazarell 20 yeah, Mazarel 20, and a kiddie called Marnes Malone was the other one.
00:02:26.000Shout out to them, lads doing the hard yards behind bars, out on the landing, finding new and unique understanding, our brothers that are incarcerated.
00:02:35.000We send love to you, we pray for your freedom, particularly those of you that are jailed injustly because of corrupt and disgusting systems.
00:02:44.000We will help to forge ahead the pathways for you and, come the day of the glorious revolution, you will be freed freed to fight the only battle that matters.
00:02:54.000Over the course of the show today, we're going to be talking about the ice raids in Roblox.
00:02:57.000My word, I let my kids play those Roblox.
00:03:00.000I hope they're conducting those ice raids responsibly.
00:03:03.000We're talking about the rise in Christianity, thank the lord, and we're also sort of this is my question and i'd like to put it to all of you.
00:03:10.000Let me know what you think in the comments and chat.
00:03:12.000Do you think the Epstein Epstein files are serving as a kind of revelation that's bringing about the kind of beast mentality of the end times?
00:03:22.000Like when you read even in Matthew or Daniel or Ezekiel and of course the book of Revelation, what the end times will be like, you get the idea that we're being primed for a time of false prophets, false idolatry, the beast will come, nation will fight nation, there's going to be earthquakes, there's going to be famines.
00:03:41.000Let me know in the comments and chat if the Epstein files and these kind of icky, disgusting, insidious, underbelly, upward ooze-like venom, a percolating funk coming up from the soil itself, kind of is a signal to you that the world is changing and it's changing fast.
00:03:59.000If you know, and if you're listening to me now, you can tell I'm a person who's got the Lord with me.
00:04:36.000We're talking about your country where people are turning into Christ in record numbers, perhaps because of the Epstein files and perhaps just because everyone's sick and tired of a disgusting society.
00:04:59.000Certainly kids are doing ice raids in it.
00:05:02.000tough times tough times for the Mexicans in roadblocks there or actually we're more likely Venezuelans I suppose in roadblocks um
00:05:24.000Here is RFK, friend of the show, friend in general, who I've noted posts at the moment on an almost daily basis, something of practical help to you, like, don't drink oat milk.
00:05:35.000Do you remember when they were telling us to drink oat milk?
00:05:36.000I was sloshing that stuff like it was whiskey or champagne or something viable and trustworthy.
00:05:54.000God talks to human beings through many vectors, through each other, through organized religions, through the great books of those religions, through wise people and the prophets and through nature.
00:06:06.000Nowhere with such texture and grace and joy as through other human beings.
00:06:12.000And when we cut off our relationships with other human beings, we lose that access to the divine.
00:06:21.000We are in a spiritual malaise in this country.
00:06:25.000And we need to give people access to all different ways of reconnecting with something that is higher than themselves.
00:06:35.000Certainly that seems to be a fundamental problem and challenge.
00:06:38.000And why I feel doubly blessed is because as a person in 12-step recovery, I've been shown through the obvious metric of dependency on a chemical, in my case, heroin and crack, old school drugs.
00:06:50.000That's like, you know, someone using a Nokia phone these days.
00:06:52.000I know you have like fancy new fentanyl and meth that you can make at home and fentanyl that can kill you if you shake its hand.
00:06:59.000In my day, you had to take heroin properly, like a grown-up.
00:07:02.000You had to queue up, line up, you had to stand under a bridge, you had to go to a phone box.
00:07:05.000Well, nevertheless, those things serve as very identifiable and recognizable false idols.
00:07:10.000Even when you're off drugs, off off drugs, way off of drugs, and looking instead for a spiritual solution to what was always a spiritual problem, you recognize incrementally that you're probably attached to your identity, to your job, to things that might not at first look seem to be particularly negative, like food or sex or pornography or whatever.
00:07:28.000So, what do you think of RFK's announcement that in fact there is a spiritual malaise across the United States of America?
00:07:35.000Can you see that almost in every issue underneath it, there is a spiritual problem?
00:07:39.000Whether it's the ICE raids and the crisis associated with those ICE raids, i.e., compassion unrooted from orthodoxy, or you could see that authority doesn't seem like it's connected to the people that are being impacted by that authority.
00:07:54.000I'm aware that I need to clear my throat.
00:09:16.000Whereas if you live in a secular culture, you may reify and even worship the darkness.
00:09:23.000You may be trying to make an identity out of your sexuality.
00:09:26.000You may be trying to make an identity out of your status.
00:09:29.000And I don't say that those things aren't occurring within Christianity, but if you are a church-going Bible-reading Christian, you will at least be aware that those things are explicitly anathema and outside of the covenant.
00:09:43.000We're living in a time of sort of radical, radical change.
00:09:46.000But at least, I suppose, in the United States of America, loathed though he may be by the left, who, you know, for the left, for the establishment left, I mean, because I still hold a candle for the people of the left that are true radicals that are willing to sacrifice and suffer for what they believe in.
00:10:03.000I don't mean when I say the left, I don't mean people that are really, really rich that go to fancy galas and wring their hands and bleed their hearts.
00:10:11.000The left when I was a kid was like fucking people like armed with Kalashnikovs going around Latin America starting revolutions as nature intended.
00:10:21.000No, what I mean by the left these days is people that just will say things that are of the left.
00:10:26.000Well, our president, your president, Donald Trump, says there's going to be a day of Christian worship on the 17th of May.
00:10:35.000We will rededicate America as one nation under God.
00:10:38.000Let me know what you think about that in the comments and chat, particularly if you're not a Christian.
00:10:42.000We are going to do something that everyone said, like that's tough.
00:10:47.000We're going to rededicate America as one nation under God.
00:11:40.000You know, if you watched the Grammys and then saw Trump acting like that, how do you reconcile that with their fierce vehemence and certain condemnation of him as a sort of an antichrist figure when he's personable?
00:11:53.000When you sort of see in scripture the idea of false prophets and antichrists, you know they're going to be very sophisticated.
00:11:59.000And like, I'm not saying that Trump isn't advanced intellectually in a variety of ways that make him effective as a president.
00:12:27.000Yeah, there's an authenticity to him that he leans into that's been present with him presumably prior to his presidential campaigns, but I wasn't paying attention to him in that sort of way.
00:12:38.000I was just, you know, he's in Omalone too.
00:12:40.000There he is, you know, being mentioned in a rap lyric.
00:12:45.000Like, I weren't paying it, oh, he's always wrote that book out of the deal.
00:12:48.000I didn't really, you know, I wasn't interested like most people, I suppose.
00:12:51.000But from the moment that he's been campaigning, right at the beginning, I'd love to watch again, Massey, we should do this actually.
00:12:57.000We made a video, like, when I was still doing the trues, when Trump first announced and he said the thing like, like, you know, we've got rapists and racists and very bad people coming over here.
00:13:06.000Like, when he did that, hey, my impression's improving.
00:13:08.000Like, when like he, we did a video, like, sort of going, Trump can't be president, he's an idiot, and all that kind of stuff.
00:13:14.000I'd like to watch that again, as a matter of fact, because what I think now is that the problems you have with Trump are the problems you have that are endemic and embedded in the system.
00:13:23.000And even things that might be considered ghouling, like with his first term, the Muslim ban, the Muslim travel ban, right?
00:13:32.000Both of those things are to do with nationhood.
00:13:36.000But a nation is, and as a concept, includes exclusivity.
00:13:42.000So those of you that think that those two issues in particular, the Muslim travel ban and the migration issue, are appalling.
00:13:49.000And I speak as someone who has a great deal of compassion for people of different faiths and colors.
00:13:54.000And I do believe in the possibility of people with different ideological and religious beliefs harmoniously living together if there is some kind of consensus, like you were saying yesterday, Jake.
00:14:05.000As long as there is some sort of belief that this is what we're doing, like as you said, Jake was saying about 12-step programs.
00:14:11.000Well, if you're in a 12-step program, you're there consenting that no matter what, you're not going to drink or take drugs.
00:14:18.000Well, no matter what, you could say we love America.
00:14:21.000But that's such a diffuse idea and you can break down every term in it.
00:14:24.000can break down America because that's what's happening right now.
00:14:28.000Some people are saying, no, America is a nation of immigrants and it's run by a migrant and you should have no...
00:14:33.000And I can sort of see that and I can scripturally back that idea.
00:14:38.000But what I suppose I'm always enchanted by in Trump is a level of authenticity that was mimicked ineffectively by Biden.
00:14:49.000He was trying to be, I'm like a lovely old guy.
00:14:52.000And even when Jim Kerry did him on SNL, they were trying to make it like Joe Biden's a folksy old dude, like that's like on a stoop somewhere or on a porch pontificating.
00:15:22.000So whatever flaws he has, they're not the same sorts of flaws that you're going to get from with a Gavin Newsome, a Kamala Harris, even an AOC who seems to have become quickly embedded and mind-venomed into the system.
00:16:20.000That clip of Keir Starmer, he's hand shaking as he apologises for Peter Mandelson and recognize that what's required is radical change.
00:16:30.000And it's not just the Epstein files, is it?
00:16:32.000Because Britain is a country that has, it seems, seeded to all sorts of corruption, among them sexual corruption.
00:16:41.000I'm of course referring to the rape gang scandal.
00:16:43.000Now, our old friends at Polymarket, who you know, they'll let you gamble on near enough anything, or at least Pontifica on anything, are saying that overnight, the odds of Christ returning have doubled.
00:16:54.000I mean, it's still only a 4% chance, and frankly, how would Polymarket know or anyone using Polymarket from whom the aggregated data is accrued?
00:17:03.000But whether he's likely to return or not, one thing that seems certain is that we bloody well need him.
00:17:09.000We need him in the United States of America and we need him in the United Kingdom.
00:17:44.000Let me know in the comments and chat if you see these things as indications of the end times and see if you can kind of make the connection between, on one level, there are these low-level proletariat rape gangs and then there are these esoteric, upper-echelon sex trafficking, essentially rape gangs still, rape gangs that have as their members some of the most important and powerful people in the world who nevertheless are compromised and controlled by forces more powerful yet.
00:18:12.000Again, in the reckoning of former MP and...
00:18:15.000free speech hero, Andrew Bridgen, former member of parliament, that's like he was a congressman got kicked out for telling the truth.
00:18:20.000Andrew Bridgen pointing out that some of the documentation in this recent set of releases confirmed that Epstein was a Mossad trained spy.
00:18:29.000And then he goes on to say, bet the BBC won't report this.
00:18:32.000They'll be sticking with the Russia-Russia narrative.
00:18:44.000Interesting information, the kind of information that gets people killed.
00:18:49.000So let me know if you agree with me that what the Epstein files ultimately represent is a kind of satanic power.
00:18:59.000It's a revelation that your life and everything in it is downstream of spiritual warfare.
00:19:05.000You are participating in it every time you make a choice, whether you reach for the candy or the pornography or for foul language and profanity, as I frequently do.
00:19:14.000You've seen the show a bit I've cursed a bunch of times already today.
00:19:19.000You are a combatant in the spiritual war.
00:19:22.000The environment you live in is not neutral.
00:19:24.000It's a charged environment that wants you on low frequency activity, distracted and hypnotized continually.
00:19:32.000The Epstein Files has brought it to the forefront and thankfully many, many people are turning to Christ.
00:19:37.000Now I happen to believe that I've met in my own life, and this is something I'm still trying to work out, people that are not in Christ that are nevertheless holy.
00:19:44.000To give you one specific example, Amma.
00:19:46.000So I know there are saintly and brilliant people that are not Christian and yet I know for certain that we need Christ more than ever.
00:19:57.000Let me know what you think in the comments and the chat.
00:20:01.000We're going to have a quick message now from one of our partners and after that we'll be back with crack on with Joe and Dave, our recovery podcast where we talk about matters connected to recovery.
00:20:12.000And if you're not recovering from drugs, well you must be recovering from something.
00:20:16.000And if you're living in the UK or the USA right now, sometimes it seems like drugs wouldn't be a bad alternative.
00:20:45.000That's why True Gold Republic exists, not to sell fear, but to explain reality.
00:20:51.000True Gold Republic has released a 2026 expert guide that breaks down why gold and silver are rising, what those moves signal heading into 2026 and how physical metals can help restore a measure of financial independence.
00:21:04.000This is the same conversation True Gold Republic has been having with Americans who don't want guesses, they want strategy.
00:22:55.000interesting like the way that everything's become so ethereal and abstract and digital that it makes you feel like just holding even i mean unfortunately it's not 30 pieces of silver because that's what that judas What were you thinking?
00:23:12.000And even the Lord would have forgiven him, I understand.
00:23:14.000Father Mike Schwitz said in the podcast I had the other day.
00:23:17.000Anyway, so like an actual piece of silver, a silver dollar is worth $85.
00:23:21.000So that's an interesting indication of how inflation operates and that the government does literally have a license to print money and banks print money.
00:23:28.000And I learned that from a very reliable source, Jeffrey Epstein.
00:23:32.000He's not a personal friend, but I did see him say it in a video.
00:24:07.000I think that most Americans right now sit in a position where they might have like money in the stock market or money in just paper dollars, right?
00:24:13.000And since we've come off the gold standard, dollars have just kind of gone down and down in value because we just have money used to be backed by something, right?
00:24:22.000It used to be backed by the gold standard.
00:24:25.000And that was where the central banks and governments held gold and they said, look, this dollar is exchangeable for gold or silver as well in some circumstances.
00:24:37.000Then in the 70s, we came off the gold standard.
00:24:40.000And from that point, it's just, you know, at that point, gold was $45 an ounce.
00:25:41.000But them gold coins, like you can actually pick his little edges and there's chocolate in there, magnificent.
00:25:46.000Now, there's two things I want to remark on.
00:25:48.000You know, render unto Caesar what is Caesar's, as in something that bears the image of the empire or Babylon clearly belongs to that domain and that realm.
00:25:57.000This here, you can almost sort of feel its weight and its value.
00:26:01.000This is what I sense we might be on the edge of, Sam O'Brien, is I think we're on the edge of some seismic financial rupture.
00:26:08.000Now, when it comes more to the sort of matters of currency exchange and value that you're discussing from your position of an expert, an entrepreneur, because your business is True Gold Republic, and you're one of the sponsors of this show, right?
00:26:21.000You're saying that silver and gold are reliable because they're actual and they have a measurable, and I suppose to some degree, finite value.
00:26:29.000Now, there's two people who I know would push back.
00:26:30.000One is Max Kaiser, cryptocurrency guy, high priest.
00:26:40.000I don't know what he'd actually say, but I know he'd say the cryptocurrency is the perfect currency because of the way that it can be communicated.
00:26:46.000And here on Rumble now, we have a Bitcoin wallet.
00:26:48.000And if you want to make a donation to me, do.
00:27:10.000The only thing that's surprising is how neat he keeps his beard.
00:27:13.000Like someone that keeps their beard that neat, you think, well, he's got to care about something other than just being brutal.
00:27:19.000Anyway, he says that Warren Buffett says, and all them high-level dudes say, just invest in the indexes.
00:27:25.000The indexes, if you invest in the indexes.
00:27:27.000So is this, do you, how, is this better than investing in the indexes like the S ⁇ P or whatever?
00:27:32.000Gold has outperformed the S ⁇ P for the last 25 years, you know, substantially.
00:27:37.000And if you look at even inflated adjustments of like how many ounces of gold it would take to buy, you know, say one chair in the SP 500, even that's massively outperformed over the last 20 years.
00:27:49.000So yeah, if you want dividends and you want cash flow and stuff like that, then you might want to invest into the stock market.
00:27:56.000But I think everyone can kind of see right now that the stock market is massively overinflated.
00:28:01.000There's a lot of new money going into AI, into tech, and it's all kind of on promised future returns, right?
00:28:07.000All these AI companies are promising the world, but in terms of like actual profit, like not that many of them have actually been proven.
00:28:14.000So really, you know, if you want to make a million bucks overnight and you want a high-risk investment, then for sure you can do AI stocks and cryptos and whatever you may want.
00:28:24.000But this is something which is more stable and secure.
00:28:27.000And it's really an insurance policy is that if all else fails, then you have what you're holding in your hand, right?
00:28:33.000And no one's going to take that away from you unless you're good at jujitsu.
00:28:37.000Yeah, good at jiu-jitsu or they're fully armed.
00:28:39.000And I've been learning these new techniques.
00:28:41.000I'm learning these techniques from this guy, right, who he's a martial arts, he's a former undercover cop and martial arts expert.
00:28:48.000And when he was one time undercover in a drug deal, the drug dealer tried to stab him and kill him.
00:28:54.000And he realized that all of his training up to that point was of minimal value.
00:28:57.000And he realized that what you really needed, it turns out, is how to be able to kill someone in the car with like, and he learned that and he's teaching me it.
00:29:05.000It's actually quite hard, actually, and difficult.
00:29:08.000And a lot of it involves pushing your head in people's faces and stuff that's quite counterintuitive.
00:29:13.000Anyway, look, the thing is, Sam, I'm into this.
00:29:17.000Remember, when I used to be a stand-up comedian, like, you know, for hire, I would turn up a stand-up show, do like a gig.
00:29:22.000When someone gave you 500 quid in cash, even though that was filthy fiat currency, not worth the paper it was written on, even though there was them big brown tennis with her majesty on the queen, her majesty on them back in them days, not Charles peeping out.
00:29:51.000Like, then you feel like you've got something.
00:29:52.000But I know Mike Walton, my house, my kid, if I put this in ashtray or somewhere, it says, well, my kids will nick this, but they're going to get it anyway down the line.
00:30:00.000But you raise a good point, though, because back then, to say that was, what, 15, 20 years ago, you would have got paid 500 pounds like in cash.
00:30:07.000If you just put that in a safe, right?
00:30:09.000Then £500 20 years ago was like a decent chunk of change, right?
00:30:49.000and that's really the power of gold and silver is not getting today out tomorrow even though recently it has been moving in in crazy ways but it's about you mean crazy ways Oh, escalating.
00:31:01.000So yeah, silver is up 180% in the last 12 months.
00:31:46.000If you find yourself at an award show saying, for example, everyone illegal is on stolen land anyway, try some of this delicious coffee beverage that will sharpen you up double quick.
00:32:30.000Like I'm teaching them when you're like when you're doing that Spanish lesson, kids, a little bit later, I'm going to want to see you talking some Spanish at me.
00:32:38.000And like when you're doing that basketball lesson, next time you're on the court, I'm going to want to see that you aim at that top right corner or that you're able to keep your eyes up when you're dribbling, right?
00:32:49.000Don't see everything as just some sort of irrelevant participatory exercise.
00:33:02.000I'm terrified to think what might be going on.
00:33:05.000I reckon there will have been, I reckon there's going to have been wars, serious, significant wars that might have involved conscription.
00:33:11.000I reckon there'll be the introduction of authoritarian measures and the use of technology in ways that we would consider invasive now.
00:33:17.000And in order to bring about that invasive use of technology, I'm talking about, say, digital ID and biometrics and that sort of stuff.
00:33:23.000They're going to use various methods of crisis.
00:33:26.000And even if you don't believe in conspiracy theories, they'll just will by coincidence be some pandemics and wars and climate change and various crises events that are used, whether by design or by happy accident for the authorities to legitimize power.
00:33:43.000If you've got a wealth base that's only in like banks, that shit's going to get shut down.
00:33:49.000In a sense, so like wouldn't a party isn't a necessary partner then to holding silver or gold that it's held in a way that's inaccessible to some sort of confiscatory centralized force.
00:34:01.000Like say me, for example, enemy of the state.
00:34:03.000Like if I've got a bunch of silver and gold, aren't they going to go, oh, we've got to take that?
00:34:10.000Who knows that they have that silver and gold?
00:34:13.000That's the beauty of silver and gold, which I think is what was great about cryptocurrencies in Bitcoin when it first came out, right?
00:34:20.000Was that it was meant to be this, this can't be controlled by governments.
00:34:24.000This is going to be off the grid and you can make a transaction and the government don't really know what you're doing about it, which is, you know, obviously for the wrong people, that was great.
00:34:32.000But also for ordinary citizens that don't really just want, you know, just want a degree of privacy.
00:34:40.000But now you have, you know, Bitcoin ETFs and people can seem to track like wallet addresses.
00:34:45.000And, you know, this isn't my wheelhouse on cryptos, but I know that it's become a bit more transparent than what it was initially intended to be.
00:34:52.000However, with gold and silver, you know, they're not going to confiscate it because it's not backed by the dollar's not backed by gold and silver anymore.
00:34:59.000So you still have gold and silver in your possession in your house and no one knows that you got it and no one can take it away from you.
00:35:06.000So you're kind of taking yourself on your own little gold standard.
00:36:17.000So if you're going to try and mooch about surviving for a bit, you know, get yourself some, I'd say, why not get some of the silver and gold?
00:36:24.000Let me make sure I've covered everything so that you know what I'm talking about.
00:38:01.000Imagine you spent 1.5 on a great gold bullion bar and you're carrying it around like it's your baby to be friends with it.
00:38:08.000Like, you know, when they make kids at school carry out a bag of flour so they don't get pregnant.
00:38:12.000They go, listen, you're not ready for a baby.
00:38:15.000Carry this bag of flour about and then by the end of the work school day, that bag of flour is all covered in juice from school in Essex where I would have grown up, where I did grow up, as far as I grew up.
00:38:27.000Anyway, like, imagine if you decided to carry that gold bullion about as a better proxy for a child for life itself is more precious than anything conceivable.
00:38:35.000The most precious metals, the most glorious thing.
00:38:37.000And all of us are carrying that around.
00:39:37.000Like, what about brink mats robbery and that?
00:39:41.000Yeah, I mean, most people, like some people, if you've got a lot of money, then obviously you might not want to keep it like in your house.
00:40:32.000And they were seizing assets that belonged to the US because they were in dollars, right?
00:40:36.000So that created kind of a global unrest because a lot of the other countries were like, well, if they can seize dollars just because they're dollars, they're not really property of the US.
00:41:07.000And that way, the only way that they can come and confiscate their wealth as a sovereign nation is by marching into Moscow and saying, hey, we want to take out all that gold.
00:41:16.000And they're not going to do that without an extra war.
00:41:19.000So that's why central banks have been buying more gold than they've ever bought before.
00:41:23.000And that's why you've seen prices can keep going up.
00:41:26.000And I don't think those tables are going to turn anytime soon.
00:41:29.000You know, Brazil, Russia, India, China, they're still looking at a gold-backed currency, 40% gold, 20% silver.
00:41:36.000So all these things are kind of on the horizon, which is which is going to unfold.
00:41:43.000Sam, you're probably right, I reckon, mate, that in times of seismic unrest and change and flux, things that are abstractions in themselves, like fiat currencies, which are dependent on our collective faith for their value, as our faith experience a sort of collective spasm of people like, I'm not sure I trust the government anymore.
00:42:05.000Britain's falling apart, like our country of the UK, it's crazy, innit?
00:42:10.000So if you actually don't trust the government, you are actually demonstrating a faith in them every time you use their units of currency in exchange.
00:42:18.000And I suppose what this is is a way of bypassing it.
00:42:20.000See when Sherlock Holmes goes to Watson, elementary, my dear Watson, what he's referring to.
00:42:28.000Like, what he's referring to is elements.
00:42:31.000Elements are that which precedes expressions, more fundamental, more elaborate expressions.
00:42:38.000So gold and silver, it's been around for a long while, innit?
00:42:42.000And people that have got in the gold and silver game for the longest, those people, you can tell they're, you know, they're all caked up to the nines, aren't they?
00:42:50.000I don't want to get into controversial territory about whether there's any particular ethnic groups that have been historically connected to gold and silver because that is not our gig.
00:42:59.000I don't believe in that kind of, what do I want to say, an analytic.
00:43:02.000But what I will say is, why don't you get involved?
00:43:05.000Me, I'm going to get involved in cryptos because I feel like I like the mobility of it.
00:43:40.000If you have funds in a retirement account or if you have cash savings, you want to speak to us, you want some education on it, then we're here to help.
00:43:59.000Oh, Russ, if you want to help old Russ, who's in trials and fighting the government, every time you buy one, 80 quid, but still it's better though, because it's like a little nugget.
00:44:09.000I'm aiming at a gold bullion bar to carry around.
00:44:13.000You know, like, I'm going to sort of make it like a puppet from what they call it, that care bear station, what they call it, build a bear.
00:44:20.000I'm going to get my bullion bar and I'm going to build a bear it up.
00:44:22.000You know, so I'm going to have a little woolly one, make it look like a wookie.
00:44:26.000I'm going to treasure it, literally treasure it.
00:44:28.000Anyway, so listen, you know that this is in a sense a blend of humor, commerce and marketing.
00:44:34.000But what Sam O'Brien's business does is facilitates brokers and advisors on the purchase of precious metals in order to mitigate and navigate the likely forthcoming economic crises brought about by governments you don't trust and globalist imperatives and incentives that don't consider your welfare.
00:44:51.000So the information's at the bottom now.
00:46:02.000Liam here, he filmed me while I was on the phone to the lady, the elaborately and outrageously named, she's called her like Mary Antoinette.
00:46:08.000She sounded like the wife of a French king from the Middle Ages or Renaissance.
00:47:12.000So much bureaucracy that thankfully Jake's willing to take the bully himself.
00:47:17.000But at some point, I'm going to have to get on there and do it.
00:47:20.000And this is me dealing with Geico for a very simple scratch.
00:47:23.000You can see it on the side of my beloved truck, along with the Joe Biden as Mount C tongue and the bully holes put there by my friend Carl.
00:47:53.000You've insured me, and now you're going to have to deal with the consequences.
00:47:57.000So what happened was, I was driving along in a car park or parking lot in your accent, and I accidentally, by mistake, scratched the side of this lady's car.
00:48:56.000Do you think I think people take advantage?
00:48:58.000I think they get a scratch on the side of their car.
00:49:00.000And even this, I know this woman's a churchgoer and a good woman and a follower of Christ Jesus.
00:49:04.000I reckon she thought, I'm going to get the car jazzed right up now.
00:49:07.000I won't be surprised the next time I see that car, I bet it's got speed stripes up here, like T, about one in one tool's got limousines with a jacuzzi in the back.
00:49:37.000But if it makes you feel any better, we too think that it is a bit much, so we're going to set off our own appointment and get it looked at.
00:53:36.000That we think is the root of our troubles, driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity.
00:53:44.000We step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate.
00:53:47.000Sometimes they hurt us, seemingly without provocation, but we invariably find that sometime in the past we have made a decision based on self, which later placed us in a position to be harmed.
00:53:58.000I can remember that bit without even reading it.
00:54:00.000I think you've told me to read it a fair few times when I've been selfish.
00:54:04.000Or that has been the root of my trouble.
00:54:15.000What is it that brought it to your attention?
00:54:19.000So what I find with this in particular is when I am in some sort of distress, usually, pretty much always, I've made a decision previously, which has placed me in a position to be armed, a decision which I made out of self.
00:54:47.000I remember like the first person that drew that bit of writing to my attention, whenever we are disturbed, we usually find that at some point in the past, we've made a decision based on self that's put us in a position to be hurt.
00:55:01.000It was someone that I do the program with.
00:55:04.000And he's someone that I sponsor, actually.
00:55:07.000So when he said that to me, I felt like, oh, I didn't like having that sort of thrown in my face very much.
00:55:13.000And like, and also in that confronting.
00:55:15.000So like, if you're not a person in recovery, think about this.
00:56:27.000Yeah, and I think it's that you don't really see this until you do it with something.
00:56:33.000It's a practical, but when you look at it and you go, okay, well, you know, someone treated me a certain said something to me or treated me a certain sort of way or whatever.
00:56:43.000It's like, I've placed, I've made decisions, a lot of times multiple decisions in the past that place me in this position for that to happen.
00:56:52.000But what I like is that caveated subclause based on self.
00:57:20.000If you put it into step 11, conscious contact with God would mean that you're so consciously in contact with God that you ain't got nothing else but God left, right?
00:57:29.000Like John the Baptist said, I must become less, he must become greater, right?
00:57:34.000But these days, victimhood is still attached to your personal identity.
00:57:41.000Now, if you say to someone who's in that mindset and we are all capable of it, have you made a decision, a selfish decision in the past that's generated this dilemma that you're in?
00:57:52.000I think a lot of people don't like it.
00:57:54.000People don't like to be told, you're not a victim, you're selfish.
00:58:01.000We all come in via the chemicals and the booze, say, not all of us, but most of us.
00:58:05.000And then you start to look at codependency, that what you're addicted to is what other people think of you, your ability to control the people in your life.
00:58:15.000Then, like, you start, I feel the charge in the air, man, when you hit, because then you're talking to people that haven't bottomed out on drugs and alcohol, so haven't got that baseline of teachability.
00:58:26.000Like, luckily, all of us that have bottomed out on drugs and alcohol, we're like, okay, I know how this can get.
00:59:40.000And yourself, there's stuff you can't see it, but other people can't.
00:59:43.000That I don't, I'm, I'm in, like, I'm too close, right?
00:59:47.000It's, it's, it's having someone that's removed from it looking outside.
00:59:52.000Like Joe, I tell, if I told 10 steps something with Joe and tell him, hey, you know, I'm mad at this person and so forth, Joe will probably be able to see, especially just being in recovery and knowing himself for so long, he'll probably be able to see some things that I just, it's almost, I just can't quite get there.
01:00:10.000So I think sponsorship and other people is a key part of that with myself.
01:00:16.000And it's a key part of humbling myself because if I just try and deal with it myself, then in a way I could be playing God and still be, you know, living in so, oh, I'm going to take care of my own problem.
01:00:29.000I'm not going to let anyone else see my mistakes and see where I'm at fault.
01:00:33.000And so inviting someone else in, which is part of the problem, which is self, inviting someone else in to look at it and go, okay, Dave, it sounds like, did you start asking questions?
01:00:46.000Because a lot of it comes down to motives.
01:00:56.000And my motive, even it can be a normal action, but my motive was to get praise from someone or to manipulate someone in some sort of way, or I do something nice so that I can get it.
01:01:12.000There's going to be all sorts of motives in it.
01:01:14.000And so having someone that understands themselves that's been in recovery, when you tell them things and as a sponsor doing it with sponsees, usually just asking some questions right, you can't get to it without the details of some sort.
01:01:33.000The rest of this content is going to be available on Rumble Premium.
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01:02:29.000In the Great Divorce, the C.S. Lewis book, it depicts a journey from purgatory to heaven, and each of the characters accompanying the protagonist have encounters with heavenly beings, sometimes people that they knew in life.
01:02:43.000And always the encounters lead to this kind of confrontation where the people that are visiting heaven from purgatory are forced to assess whether or not they're willing to let go of some cherished belief or they're like, nah.
01:02:59.000For example, it's like someone who's like lost a kid, right?
01:03:03.000And like they meet someone on the other side.
01:03:28.000So like you, some of the people that are raising you and love you, like if you go to them, no, but you were doing that for yourself, they'd be like, no, I wasn't like that's the worst thing you could say to them.
01:04:09.000Fundamentally, I'm wrong because I'm disturbed.
01:04:12.000But I know I can't see it, but I know I'm wrong.
01:04:15.000If I wasn't wrong, I wouldn't be disturbed because it's still something external.
01:04:19.000I need to speak to someone else to see how I'm looking at this wrong, how I've made mistakes.
01:04:24.000Because although in my head, it's that person or that thing, I've chosen it to be that person or that thing, and I'm the one suffering, right?
01:04:33.000And I think previous to doing a step four and five, like your inventory in that, you don't know that stuff, right?
01:04:41.000And you've lived your whole life drinking and drugging or whatever, like a lifetime of it, living with these set of beliefs that you're wronged by them, the state, this, that, and everything else, a victim of circumstance.
01:04:54.000Although, like, it's so liberating doing an end column with your step four and five.
01:05:04.000Like, it's, I think it takes years and years and years of repeating the same mistakes and running it through the same process again to see that it's just pure selfishness still.
01:05:14.000And like, I think when you start sponsoring people, you get to recognize that because you see the same mistakes that you're making or the same mistakes that you made, you know.
01:05:30.000I'm like, what I'm trying to do, right, is in prayer in the morning, I'm really trying to sincerely invite Christ as deeply as I can conceive of into myself and go like, I know this too is search me.
01:05:45.000In fact, you found it the other day, Dave, when we were working out that inventory process for how to convert into Christian terminology, 12-step recovery.
01:05:54.000Many psalms talk about search me, Lord, like shine the light right in me and find what it is in me I'm doing wrong.
01:06:03.000A lot of people like that are almost adjacent to that cosmic order in what you might call woo-woo BS are all about almost saying, and I think there's truth in this to tell you, if I'm honest, that when you have learned the lesson that a problem is trying to teach you, the problem will go.
01:06:22.000Like if you have continual economic trouble, there's something in there that you're not learning.
01:06:29.000Because part of you, don't you know that money is abundant?
01:06:35.000People are making so much money out of so much stuff.
01:06:38.000So what is it in you that you're not doing?
01:06:41.000And when you were talking to Ed Joe about inventorying, you said something like it's all happening in your own head.
01:06:47.000And like one of the things I learned off that Tim M, who we talk about a lot, was I said something like, I said something like this.
01:06:54.000Sometimes I feel like all the people in my life are kind of concoctions, characters, just figures that I'm almost creating to teach me something.
01:07:04.000Like they're almost not even there at all.
01:07:07.000A bit like when you're a kid and you think that you're in some sort of synthetic reality and even your parents are automatons being played out by some sort of diabolical synthetic entity.
01:07:16.000You know, so like in that state, egos Tim M did.
01:07:22.000Have you been reading Course in Miracles?
01:07:24.000And at that point I hadn't been, but now I have been.
01:07:27.000And sort of what it shows you is that it is always you.
01:07:35.000Like you do an inventory and you recognize, oh, that problem I had when I was seven or twelve or twenty or twenty-five has been playing out in new environments, just sort of spiraling around, pulling in new data, new magnetism.
01:07:50.000And like I'm because I'm refusing to change.
01:07:53.000Now, one of the answers that might suggest itself is a kind of monasticism.
01:07:58.000I'm just going to go live somewhere and not interface with this anymore.
01:08:02.000I'm just going to be in solitude and prayer.
01:08:04.000Like in the stillness with Christ is the only place where I might be absolved and where I might be sanctified and therefore receive salvation.
01:08:13.000But I do believe the path like for us, you know, it's the one we're walking, you know, innit?
01:08:25.000If you are in the Florida panhandle presenting an online TV show while awaiting trial in the UK and you know in your heart of hearts you're not a rapist, but you were a right little womanizer.
01:10:27.000Sometimes we're not aware of how sophisticated and obscure the currency of victimhood might be.
01:10:34.000For example, when I was a baby, not a baby, seven or eight, this fellow, he put his hand down the back of my pants, touched my a-hole and my balls and my dick, right?
01:11:04.000Sexual abuse is really, really bad, particularly against children, because I can really remember the jangle of the reality thread.
01:11:12.000Like, there's like a thread or a field of who you are.
01:11:15.000And when someone does that, it goes like it's messes with who you are.
01:11:19.000So maybe all that adrenochrome and loose stuff, maybe there's something to it.
01:11:22.000But then, like, what, where I've held on to the resentment and utilized the resentment almost in precisely the way that you're describing is in my own depiction of my life and my relationship with my parents.
01:11:35.000Like, when I told them, you know, my parents weren't together independently, I goes, hey, that, when I was at that thing there with that man, he touched me up.
01:11:58.000And if Mabel or Peggy tells me that happened, like my very next, it will take everything in me that my very next step is to make the distance between that person being dead and the moment I'm in disappear.
01:12:11.000I'm going to collapse that distance of that person being dead and the moment I'm in now.
01:13:28.000It's hard just picking this up off the cuff if you don't know yourself at that level.
01:13:33.000Well, yeah, because precisely, even talking about this now, I can feel a charge in it.
01:13:36.000So that means there's a level in me that isn't part of my generalized interactive persona.
01:13:42.000There's a level of my, you know, that I've submerged that somewhere molecularly or unconsciously or whatever your preferred refrain and lexicon might be.
01:13:50.000Like, but still, there's a charge in it.
01:13:52.000So I've not fully gone like how Mooji was.
01:13:55.000Mooji's like a spiritual teacher I met once.
01:13:57.000Like he, I could see when he was talking about himself, he was like, I have no connection to that person that I was when I was, because I was asking him about stuff in his childhood.
01:14:07.000But like, see that, Joe, when I'm talking about like sort of essentially, that's like, you know, when people don't know recovery, they would need to know now that what I'm talking about is when you do a step four and five resentment, these are what you call like, these are like pillar resentments.
01:14:20.000If you've been sexually abused, if someone's really badly beat you up, or even it doesn't have to be even that dramatic, it can be quite small things or quite generalized things.
01:14:30.000It's about your own personal what these hooks are that keep you attached, I suppose, to your wounded identity, your Adamic identity, your Earthman, your Dirtman identity.
01:14:43.000How do you deal with it in yourself and how do you deal with it in others?
01:14:46.000And can you sort of, while that little exchange was taking place, did you feel any charge of it bringing up anything in you?
01:14:53.000Yeah, I was just, I was thinking about what Dave said there, you know, although we don't like the symptoms of the other person, is what it says in the big book, right?
01:15:03.000So we realized that the people who wronged us were wronged us were perhaps spiritually sick, though we did not like their symptoms and the way they disturbed us, like ourselves, were sick too.
01:15:15.000We asked God to help us show them the same tolerance and pity and patience we would cheerfully grant a sick friend.
01:15:21.000And I was told that, like, a mate of mine, John Mulloy, told me it's like walking around a psychiatric unit and judging people if you're getting it, you're getting resentments in AA meetings and that.
01:15:33.000I'd be in a psychiatric unit and an AA meeting.
01:15:36.000If I was in a psychiatric unit, I'd go, you're fucking lunatic, you stop wanking.
01:15:41.000Like with the example you used there, Russell, that's that's real hard.
01:15:45.000That's like, that's top, top level resentment, innit?
01:15:48.000And I don't, I personally don't think that'll ever go, but I think when it comes around again, you can always refer back to your end column.
01:15:54.000Like, I'm making a mistake, it's not happening to me now, I'm not a victim anymore.
01:16:44.000See, forgiveness, I keep learning about forgiveness, right?
01:16:47.000I keep not learning about it, being prompted to learn about forgiveness.
01:16:51.000I was thinking about, even though we joked about this the other day, and it's a sort of really silly, silly device, the device of breaking down a word on the superficial level to try and discern its meaning.
01:17:01.000We were joking about it the other day when we were watching football because the new Chelsea FC manager, Liam Rose Sr., son of the great Lee Roy Ross Sr., uses a lot of David Brentish breakdowns of words, including, he said, I'm a manager.
01:17:25.000Like, that's not what manage means at all.
01:17:27.000Like, that's not a good version of it, right?
01:17:30.000And then, like, Joe was saying, he's getting them all playing Lego, like, you know, and I reckon that's because Beckham was right into Lego, isn't it?
01:17:35.000But you know that he'll be giving them Lego sets, the Chelsea squad, and God knows he should give them something, right?
01:17:41.000And like, sits them down with a Lego and go, Okay, guys, we're gonna do something unusual today when we're using Lego.
01:17:47.000Make something, you know, like we're making a team because a team's got many, many blocks: red ones, blue ones, yellow ones.
01:17:55.000But out of it, we must make a construction together, whether that's the lion of Chelsea or the Hermes of West, right?
01:18:02.000And then we also go in like Lego, but it would go, Leg, go.
01:18:06.000You've got to let go of your problems.
01:18:09.000And you're a footballer, so you've got to make your legs go quickly down the right and left to distribute the word.
01:18:15.000Like, it's so silly, that stuff, innit?
01:18:18.000But I was thinking, like, atonement is one where it works really well because atonement at one moment is nice.
01:18:24.000And when I think of Christ's atonement and atoning, you're bringing together disparate, broken, and potentially charged and jarring fractions and fragments into a unity coming from the Godhead.
01:18:39.000Forgiveness, though, right, it's a weird word, forgiveness, and it has got in it for give.
01:18:45.000Like, it's got these two sounds that we are really commonplace in our language, for give.
01:18:52.000So, I suppose the word forgiveness, like we all know what it's meant to be, because we all say forgive us our trespasses, forgive us our sins, and all of that.
01:18:59.000And it is by forgiving that we are forgiven in the St. Francis Prayer.
01:19:03.000We all know that this concept of forgiveness is meant to mean someone does something and you go, I'll let you off.
01:19:09.000I'll let go of my charge of negativity around this transgression, real or imagined.
01:19:16.000But I'm wondering if we try to sort of remystify, because people talk about demystifying things as if mystification is a fucking problem when the mystery is fundamental to all reality.
01:19:28.000To mystify forgiveness, aren't you kind of saying that forgiveness is a currency that in order to participate in the currency of forgiveness, you have to forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us?
01:19:43.000Like, if I need to be forgiven for the many, many wrong things I've done in my own life, that I have to enter into that economy via my forgiveness of all people.
01:19:56.000And in so doing, what does that suggest?
01:19:58.000Does that suggest that I'm no longer a solid block called Russell?
01:20:02.000I am rather a channel and vessel of exchange and transaction.
01:20:35.000When I have, if I have a resentment towards Joe and I'm just stewing on it, and I love how, I love how in the big book it talks about fancied or real, because a lot of the hardest ones I've dealt with are all fancied.
01:21:36.000I'm just man, I'm worried about this other thing and it had nothing to do with me, but I've fainted.
01:21:42.000I've built it up in my head that it was about me self right and I've built this up, and so a lot of things are just like built up in in someone's head or my head.
01:21:54.000But I think if forgiveness, I think of I'm, I'm taking that position, I'm in the wrong position.
01:22:01.000Man, I've been playing God in my life.
01:22:03.000I'm not God and I'm not gonna play that role anymore.
01:22:06.000I'm backing out as the actor, which this actor comes up right after the passage we just read, hold on, so you're saying that, for in forgiveness is the acknowledgement.
01:22:16.000You started off by saying that you're not judge, but you've ended up by saying you're not God, so there's a kind of humility in it, and that in order to withhold forgiveness, you are, unconsciously or otherwise, situating yourself in this position of adjudication that you ain't men of being anyway, you're not meant to be adjudicating.
01:22:36.000That ain't your right role, which is good for me too, because I don't want the judgment on me.
01:22:43.000You know in, in that sense, if I'm gonna I mean Jesus says it you know if you're gonna judge other people, use the same measure of judgment towards yourself.
01:22:51.000But I think also, when you're talking about for and give another thought, is with the program dis disease, dis-ease right, when I am at unease when when, when I'm off, where something's blocking me off, is really what I'm gonna tent step that stuff over and what we're talking about now.
01:23:14.000I think that I think, after a while of doing it, it is so freeing that you don't want to stay.
01:23:23.000You don't want to keep resentments, you don't want to.
01:23:25.000Yes, there's parts of me that always wants to keep it and not look at my stuff and but.
01:23:30.000But there's a bigger part of me that goes, man, I got to talk to someone, I got to get, I got to shake this off.
01:23:39.000I see you Massey, I'll come to you in a second my man, like in a sex, in a in a in a way, you're.
01:23:44.000It sounds like you're suggesting that this you're an analyst, analysis of this idea of forgiveness is moving yourself from a position of judge to a position of witness like that in your own life.
01:23:59.000Almost you recede from like i'm here in the front line dealing with all this to just i'm sort of just watching this.
01:24:06.000I know how it ends, i'm gonna die, everyone I love is gonna die.
01:24:12.000Like i'm not gonna sort of stand in the middle of it, like i'm trying to mitigate, manage or control it, like as if there's something I can do, i.e that aspect of Christ that's it is done, it is finished is like right right now, get yourself in alignment to receive the signal you're it's done.
01:24:30.000After Adam was breathed into, I have expired, it is finished.
01:24:34.000You, all you have to do is receive the gift of the holy spirit, and And in order to receive the Holy Spirit, you can't be all full of rustleness, going, all right, what if we do this?
01:24:45.000Like, you know, you'll shoot, you'll drown out.
01:24:47.000You're drowning it out, you mad fucker, with all of the sort of shash and cacophony of selfhood.
01:24:54.000Whereas in forgiveness, like if you're able to forgive someone for sexually abusing you when you was a kid and also forgive your parents for not knowing how to handle it, your frequency is necessarily moving up above the noise of, yeah, but that shouldn't have happened.
01:25:49.000And then he started talking about forgiving people themselves for deeds they've done against you.
01:25:54.000The whole idea is that when someone's wronged you or you think someone's wronged you they owe you something They've taken a part of you or something like that and by forgiving that there You're basically saying that person is by forgiving that person you saying they're no longer in debt to you for what they've done basically The fundamental Christian idea is that you are unable to repay the debt.
01:26:33.000When Neil Oliver, our beloved friend of the show, talked about the excavation of some tin mine in Cornwall from millennia ago, they found that the miners, presumably Celtic or Druidic, Lord alone knows what their religion was of these people mining tin, you know, thousands of years ago.
01:26:51.000But they would leave little bowls and effigies in the mine as an acknowledgement, we have taken this and therefore we leave this.
01:27:02.000So on some very deep level, we recognize that there is a transaction or at least relationship taking place and that there is a requirement that sort of somehow matches the concept of debt and credit.
01:27:16.000Throughout Old Testament, the idea of sacrifice is reiterated, perhaps reaching some sort of apex in the father of the Judaic faith in many regards, of course, Abraham offering to sacrifice, being willing to offer as sacrifice his son Isaac.
01:27:35.000Although he does not have to do it, he is willing to do it.
01:27:39.000There is a debt that is accrued when you will not live outside of sin.
01:27:44.000To live in sin, our creator God, if you live in sin, you know, we know what that is, worshiping the flesh, being cruel, being mean, succumbing to the sort of somehow inherent fallenness.
01:27:57.000If you live in that, God can't come there with you.
01:28:25.000I'm trying to find a new semantic, a new lexicon that helps people get beyond the folkish, Abrahamic and Frankly, sacred language of scripture, and to understand, is there a way of looking at charge, debt, credit that we sort of understand.
01:28:45.000And I'm sort of beginning to feel like I'm at its edge.
01:28:48.000Like I'm beginning to understand something that's sort of you know necessarily mythic.
01:28:52.000And by mythic, I don't mean false, I mean deeply true in a way that transcends meaning or gives us the concept of meaning, in fact.
01:28:59.000Anyway, Joe, my meal pal, meow, butte, meow, mucker.
01:29:04.000What were you thinking about, mate, while all these exchanges were going on about forgiveness there?
01:29:11.000I guess initially what I was thinking on what I used to have a tendency to do is like set someone a specific role in my life and have a standard of them of like what they are, what they have to do and how they serve me in my life.
01:29:29.000And I never know I'm doing it until that minute where they fall short and I'm pissed off of them.
01:29:37.000And then like what Dave was saying there, like if it's a resentment which I ain't processed or dealt with quick, I remember you told me it's called stacking Russell, right?
01:29:46.000So like I ain't dealt with the main thing.
01:31:55.000So when you look at this, from the, I mean from the perspective that you just invited us to consider, Joe, that when you do the fourth column, you are sort of meant to be somewhat free of the resentment.
01:32:06.000I still want to put opinion that because I don't entirely understand it.
01:32:09.000And what Dave here, Dave here always says that the third column, which I've just described to you and talked to you through, so you do know what it means, is more important and indicative and a better diagnostic tool than the fourth column.
01:32:22.000Now, the fourth column is these eight questions.
01:32:33.000Away, you can't even answer those questions unless you've understood to some degree what area of self in the third column has been activated in you.
01:32:42.000And I reckon actually that I have just understood that because it's in personal relations is where my resentment there that I just talked us through centers there, don't it?
01:32:53.000It's like that's where it is because it's not like I can understand that there's crazy sick people in the world that are paedophiles.
01:33:02.000Like, you know, like, so, but that's not the problem.
01:33:04.000The problem is the personal relations script problem.
01:33:07.000And now that I frame it and understand it in those terms, it helps me to see in a way that I couldn't even 15 minutes ago.
01:33:16.000Like, God forbid, what if something was to happen to one of my beautiful children?
01:33:20.000Well, how do you stop that in this crazy world?
01:33:23.000Because every single person in the world that's had a kid that's been abused didn't want that to happen, I'm assuming, except for the ones that did it.
01:33:30.000But like, you know, like, how do we, you know, I suppose the lesson I have to learn is absolute compassion, absolute forgiveness, and a willingness to cancel a debt that's not serving anyone anyway.
01:33:52.000Like, I'm not saying I'm not trying to negate fourth column.
01:33:54.000I think I don't, I don't presume like I know better than the inventory at all.
01:33:59.000Like, I've just seen from my experience how important that third column is because, really, for the third column, if you back up and just take a macro view of it, that third column is saying it's my effects, my, and it's God-given needs or desires, right?
01:34:18.000So, God-given, uh, so I've got ambition, right?
01:34:25.000Like, if you have no ambition, that's not good, right?
01:34:28.000If you've ever done an inventory with someone that is primarily marijuana, like they'll struggle with ambition usually, you know, and so like, like, security, there should you need a level of security.
01:34:42.000Like, all these things that were affected in this, well, it when it comes down to it, when you do the whole inventory, you're trying to find out, hey, this is the pattern, this is how I play God.
01:34:57.000This is how, this is my patterns, these are my ways of how I play God, how I manipulate other people and do all these things.
01:35:04.000But all those external actions are because I'm trying to meet those needs.
01:35:08.000I'm trying to meet that need for ambition, I'm trying to meet that need for security or financial or my sex relations or personal relations.
01:35:15.000You know, like I did this because I'm trying to meet my own needs, and that's that's the kicker.
01:35:22.000It's it's instead of trusting God that He meets my needs, in fact, met my biggest one 2,000 years ago on a cross.
01:35:30.000Like, instead of trusting Him, I'm trying to play His role and meet my own needs.
01:35:38.000And so, it just gives me that pattern of this is how I play God.
01:35:44.000This is, I play the victim to get my needs met and all this stuff instead of trusting that God meets my needs.