Tate Speech


$2,000 A Night Castle | Tate Confidential Ep. 34


Summary

We're in a fancy castle in Switzerland and it's snowing like crazy, but we don't care because we're in the snow, so why not have a nice snow day in a nice castle in the middle of the winter? Well, we do, but it's not as nice as it looks like it is, and we're stuck in a snow room in a castle, so we need to get out of the snow and find a way to get to the hot tub, but the only place we can get to it is in the ice room, which is not a good place to be in the cold in the winter. So we head to a fancy hotel and we try to figure out how to make it through the snow without getting stuck in the hotel. We also talk about the best ice cream in the world, and the worst ice cream you can make in the worst weather in the history of the world. Enjoy the snow day, and don't forget to leave us a review on Apple Podcasts! if you like the episode, please leave a review and tell us what you thought of it in the comments section below! XOXO, Luke and Tate xoxo -Luke and Tate xo - Luke & Tate x - Caitie x Caitie and Tate X - Luke x Caities: Luke: Tate: , , Caitie: . and Tate: . and , and Tate's: - and the rest is . . . - and the best food in the whole world? Thanks for listening to this episode, ciao, bye, bye. Thank you so much, bye bye, Ciao, Bye, bye! - Ciao. - EJ & Luke xO, bye <3. xO -Tate:) -EJ & EJ ~ -Sue -Joby & -Amber -Bryse -Merry Christmas, ( ) :) -JUICY -Ciao, EJ, -P - MURPHY, :D -ROBBY, JUY, BABY, JOBBIE, LAURY, RAY, & JACOB, , BOBBY & GABBY


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Good shot there from Tate!
00:00:02.000 A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
00:00:20.000 But I'm not sure.
00:00:22.000 I'm not sure.
00:00:24.000 I'm not sorry.
00:00:34.000 I'm not going.
00:00:39.000 I call you. Yeah, no problem.
00:00:41.000 No, I've got the call. This is nice.
00:00:45.000 Yeah, nice. You know, I tried to Uber the Rolls Royce Phantom in Romania and they told me no.
00:00:51.000 This is the quality of Ubers you get outside of Romania.
00:00:54.000 And they wouldn't let me Uber.
00:00:56.000 Yes, that's correct.
00:00:58.000 Thank you. And they wouldn't let me Uber the Rolls Royce, Luke.
00:01:03.000 Yeah, they're trying to keep remaining Ubers whacked.
00:01:07.000 This car is wonderful.
00:01:09.000 This is wonderful.
00:01:11.000 So this is a castle.
00:01:21.000 Yeah, that should be. It is.
00:01:24.000 It looks like one.
00:01:25.000 This is a castle. Very nice.
00:01:57.000 Nice. Wonderful.
00:02:04.000 And there's a balcony here, isn't there?
00:02:06.000 I was told. Yeah, on this side.
00:02:07.000 Okay. Ah, you can see the walls look.
00:02:10.000 That's nice. There's a balcony here, and why can't I smoke a cigarette on the balcony?
00:02:14.000 Yes? No, we can clean it.
00:02:18.000 There's no problem. Oh, there's a nice fridge here already.
00:02:20.000 Perfect. Very nice.
00:02:24.000 Yeah. Okay. Thank you very much.
00:02:36.000 Phone here, you can call housekeeping room service.
00:02:39.000 Oh wow, thank you so much.
00:02:41.000 Thank you very much. And yeah, if I need anything, I'll give you guys a call.
00:02:44.000 Yes, sure. Thank you so much.
00:02:46.000 Thank you, bye. Have a good one.
00:02:50.000 Now this is a nice hotel.
00:02:53.000 It's literally like a castle.
00:02:54.000 It is. We are in a castle.
00:02:56.000 Yeah, we are in a castle. They play the piano downstairs.
00:03:00.000 Yeah, they play the piano. This is Piano Lady.
00:03:02.000 Wanna go to the spa? Yes.
00:03:04.000 Do some spa Aikido? Spa Aikido.
00:03:06.000 Let's fucking go. One sec.
00:03:12.000 Hello, how are you? Yeah, pretty good.
00:03:15.000 Yeah, yeah. Yes, both backs.
00:03:16.000 Both backs, thank you.
00:03:19.000 Nice.
00:03:20.000 Thank you, Mr. Freeman. Thank you very much.
00:03:27.000 Ciao. Goodbye. Goodbye.
00:03:32.000 Is that how you pronounce it?
00:03:34.000 A pianist? There is.
00:03:38.000 We have nice robes.
00:03:40.000 I don't think they'd really miss them.
00:03:54.000 They are nice robes though.
00:03:56.000 I will admit these are very nice robes.
00:03:58.000 They have a golf wing.
00:04:02.000 Yeah, on the right.
00:04:04.000 Why is this hotel so fancy?
00:04:11.000 I did mention that this is a fancy hotel.
00:04:15.000 Yeah, and this is a very fancy country.
00:04:18.000 I really do think it is. From what I've seen from Switzerland so far, it's the fanciest country I've ever been in.
00:04:25.000 It's fancier than Dubai.
00:04:27.000 It's the fanciest, cleanest country with green trees everywhere.
00:04:31.000 They didn't fuck up their environment.
00:04:35.000 I'm sure it is. I'm sure it's super boring.
00:04:39.000 Yeah, there can't be chaos.
00:04:41.000 Chaos is fun. This is where billionaires go to sit in their castles while the peasants do chaotic things and degeneracy.
00:04:53.000 It's true. Not yet.
00:04:57.000 Wait for those Tate Confidentials.
00:04:59.000 Shit. Oh, when I become a billionaire?
00:05:01.000 Yeah. Tate's became a billionaire.
00:05:03.000 How are you a billionaire? Give me two more years when I'm worth a hundred million, then it's going to be crazy.
00:05:07.000 Right now I'm poor compared to my future self.
00:05:11.000 Shit, we got a decade left.
00:05:13.000 My future self is looking through a time machine at me, laughing at me.
00:05:18.000 Yeah. Because of rope boys.
00:05:20.000 Yeah. As if this is what rope boys do.
00:05:23.000 Exactly. Fuck the ice room.
00:05:43.000 It's minus 15.
00:05:45.000 It's minus 15, T. I'm already cold.
00:05:51.000 Imagine your feet, bro.
00:05:53.000 Alright, T goes in the ice room.
00:05:54.000 How's the ice room, T? How do you like it?
00:05:57.000 Alright, alright, fuck it. Alright, the feet is the worst part.
00:06:04.000 So, we're staying in a hotel...
00:06:07.000 Where they have real snow in a snow room.
00:06:10.000 If I got stuck in here, I'd die.
00:06:12.000 So we made it too warm, so they decided to cool it down.
00:06:17.000 This is vulnerable! Luke, why did we pay a thousand dollars a night to stand in here?
00:06:24.000 Alright, I'm out. I'm gone.
00:06:26.000 I'm following you. Fuck this.
00:06:27.000 Fuck the ice room. The ice room's whack.
00:06:30.000 Yeah, the ice room's whack. He got me.
00:06:37.000 I will admit he got me.
00:06:39.000 So, he threw a snowball at me.
00:06:42.000 He didn't throw a snowball at me.
00:06:45.000 I got hit. I did get hit.
00:06:47.000 He got me but my phone blocked most of it I
00:07:19.000 This food is amazing.
00:07:21.000 I don't know.
00:07:22.000 This is the best food.
00:07:25.000 Maybe, maybe in the world.
00:07:27.000 It's one of the best restaurants in Switzerland.
00:07:29.000 Best food in the world, Luke.
00:07:30.000 It might be. No.
00:07:32.000 Best food I've tried. Yeah, but you used to eat rice and beans out of a thermos until a year ago.
00:07:37.000 Yeah, but this is the best food I've ever tried.
00:07:40.000 Guys, this is the best food in the world.
00:07:42.000 This is not the best food in the world.
00:07:43.000 It is. It's very good food, and Luke just hasn't been to enough five-star restaurants.
00:07:46.000 The carrots taste like candy.
00:07:48.000 But luckily, his cousin is a very nice guy and takes him to very nice places.
00:07:52.000 We should have filmed more, but...
00:07:54.000 It's just food. No.
00:07:56.000 It was super good. We do.
00:07:58.000 We don't. We do. Guys, this food was the best food.
00:08:02.000 I wish you could try it, but you can't because I ate it all.
00:08:06.000 And you're not here in Switzerland, are you?
00:08:10.000 Turn the camera off.
00:08:13.000 So... What are these?
00:08:17.000 This is flexing on the broke boards.
00:08:30.000 Is this supposed to make me feel bad for spending two thousand dollars for a place to sleep?
00:08:34.000 I think it is. Well guess what?
00:08:36.000 I fucking don't.
00:08:37.000 I don't. I've been broke. I've been homeless.
00:08:39.000 Who helped me? Nobody. Nobody.
00:08:41.000 I helped me. I'll book the Snoop Dogg Hotel when I'm on my way to Stuttgart on the train.
00:08:54.000 I'm afraid right now I have to bank so I'm signing off for the day.
00:08:56.000 This is a very nice bank.
00:09:04.000 Of course it is. You know I opened this bank thing at half a million dollars.
00:09:08.000 Yeah.
00:09:10.000 I like Switzerland.
00:09:12.000 Yeah, the banks are certainly nice.
00:09:13.000 Yeah. I will never be allowed to have a Swiss bank account.
00:09:22.000 They basically said, oh, that's very interesting.
00:09:25.000 Oh, you have lots of money? No.
00:09:27.000 Gambling, high-risk industry.
00:09:28.000 Pornography, high-risk industry.
00:09:30.000 Webcam girls, strip clubs, all the things that I do.
00:09:32.000 High-risk industries.
00:09:34.000 Plus, I have an American passport.
00:09:36.000 They just told me, I highly doubt, even if you gave away your American passport and cleaned up your business affairs, I highly doubt any bank in Switzerland will entertain giving you an account.
00:09:47.000 I give up. Switzerland doesn't like money.
00:09:50.000 Yeah. Well, they do.
00:09:51.000 But not your money. Not my money.
00:09:53.000 I have dirty money. Shit.
00:09:55.000 Shit. It's not even dirty.
00:09:56.000 I know. It's tax payable.
00:09:58.000 They just don't like it.
00:09:59.000 They just don't like it. They don't want my money.
00:10:00.000 They don't want it. So...
00:10:02.000 I'm depressed now. It was a nice hotel.
00:10:05.000 It was a nice hotel. And it was a nice meeting with the bank.
00:10:07.000 I felt important for the first five minutes I went in.
00:10:09.000 It's true. Until they started asking me where my money comes from.
00:10:12.000 Yeah. And I just saw their faces drop like, why is this millionaire pornographer sitting in our offices?
00:10:17.000 They deal with like, billionaire bank managers.
00:10:20.000 Yeah. Look, I sell titties on the internet.
00:10:25.000 I'm sorry. Sorry?
00:10:26.000 Sorry. How else am I supposed to do it?
00:10:27.000 I'll use another bank. I have a theory about why they won't allow me to have a bank account.
00:10:34.000 So I told them that I run webcam models and that's how I made my millions of dollars.
00:10:38.000 So, the guy across the table looked at me frowningly and said, oh, that's a risky industry.
00:10:44.000 You're not allowed to have a bank with us.
00:10:47.000 So he was angry at me because I run webcam girls and I make porn.
00:10:51.000 And that's why I'm not allowed to bank.
00:10:52.000 But thinking about it now, that guy looked very familiar.
00:10:58.000 And I think he may be one of my webcam customers who calls my girls and jacks off.
00:11:05.000 He's rich. He's from Switzerland.
00:11:07.000 He's an old dude. Typical demographic.
00:11:09.000 He looked at me suspiciously from the moment I said what job I did.
00:11:15.000 You also, T, do look like a bank robber.
00:11:20.000 If you look at him, imagine this man coming in to your bank.
00:11:25.000 Why do you have a bag? Why does he have a bag?
00:11:28.000 Okay, and I do look like a bank robber.
00:11:30.000 You do. He does look like a bank robber.
00:11:34.000 I'm a bank robber who makes porn.
00:11:36.000 And then there's me, also with a bag, dressed all black.
00:11:38.000 Yeah. We're bank robbers, Luke.
00:11:41.000 We could be bank robbers. Yeah, the guy at the bank is a customer, and he's hating on me.
00:11:45.000 He's player hating. He is player hating.
00:11:48.000 He's trying to get you.
00:11:49.000 I'll keep my money in Bitcoin. Fuck him.
00:11:51.000 Fuck him until then I come back.
00:11:54.000 It is nice though, T. Maybe we should come back.
00:11:57.000 Maybe we should live here. We could live in that hotel forever.
00:12:00.000 Why don't you move here yourself?
00:12:02.000 Because I'm broke. I can't do that.
00:12:05.000 I can't do that to you.
00:12:06.000 That doesn't work. 13.37 is the next connection.
00:12:10.000 You have to change trains at Singen and you reach about a quarter to five or you wait for another hour and it's a direct train and the train doesn't arrive at 5.30.
00:12:21.000 What time do I arrive on your boat?
00:12:23.000 If you leave now, 16.43.
00:12:26.000 I'll take the direction.
00:12:31.000 Thank you very much.
00:12:41.000 Thank you. Thank you.
00:12:43.000 So, Andrew and them are driving.
00:12:45.000 Oh, no, no, no, no, let's make it a video.
00:12:47.000 Let's just make a video.
00:12:49.000 So Andrew and Rory are driving.
00:12:51.000 Now, they're driving.
00:12:53.000 Now, they're driving.
00:12:55.000 Wow, they're driving.
00:13:00.000 We're eating beef macaroni and cheese.
00:13:03.000 We're in Germany already.
00:13:05.000 We're not. We're not, but we are.
00:13:09.000 Switzerland is a bit like Germany.
00:13:10.000 This is Germany. It's a bit German.
00:13:12.000 I think this is Germany too.
00:13:13.000 I think you've lied to me. They accept Swiss francs for some reason.
00:13:17.000 But Germany is just weird.
00:13:19.000 They're weird like that. It's Switzerland.
00:13:25.000 So here we are.
00:13:27.000 This looks like first class to me.
00:13:34.000 It has to be first class. So this is it.
00:13:45.000 All these tickets too.
00:13:47.000 I'm going to get a coffee.
00:14:14.000 So, in Romania, they bring a plastic shopping basket filled with warm beer and chips up and down the aisle.
00:14:22.000 Yes, it is warm, it's true.
00:14:26.000 So, the Swiss beat the Romanians yet again.
00:14:30.000 I will have to give this one to the Swiss.
00:14:36.000 So, Andrew and Rory don't have champagne now, do they?
00:14:39.000 They're probably stuck on the motorway, I'd imagine, on the way to Germany.
00:14:42.000 Yeah, and we're going to the same place, and I think we'll get there before them.
00:14:46.000 And me and you have champagne.
00:14:49.000 We've been to Paris. Cheers.
00:14:53.000 I think we're winning this.
00:14:54.000 I think we are winning. We made it before them, now didn't we?
00:15:02.000 Yeah, we did. We definitely did.
00:15:04.000 We won the race. And had more fun.
00:15:07.000 We won the race while having more fun.
00:15:09.000 That's true. It's like being, what?
00:15:11.000 The hare who took a nap and won.
00:15:16.000 Yeah. Yeah, we took a nap and beat.
00:15:21.000 Fuck them. So this is Germany.
00:15:23.000 Oh, Germany's shit. He sneaks wunderbar.
00:15:27.000 Yeah. Germany?
00:15:30.000 Yeah, the town is here.
00:15:32.000 Yeah, gentlemen. So, how was your trip?
00:15:38.000 How have you been? Bonjour, man.
00:15:39.000 Bonjour. Ah, big man handsome.
00:15:42.000 Who do you think had more fun on their journey?
00:15:44.000 We had more fun. You.
00:15:46.000 There's not even a competition.
00:15:47.000 Paris is shit.
00:15:49.000 We sat on a rainy motorway in the snow.
00:15:51.000 To be fair, Paris is good.
00:15:53.000 Paris is good. Yeah, when you're asleep.
00:15:55.000 No, no, it's actually good, I'm not joking.
00:15:57.000 It's shit. It was so shit.
00:15:59.000 Why? It's shit, why?
00:16:00.000 What'd you do? Bro, if you have any fucking orange in this room...
00:16:04.000 Paris. Paris is good. What's good about Paris?
00:16:06.000 Did you two get a photo in front of the Eiffel Tower?
00:16:09.000 No. Why?
00:16:11.000 So you went to Paris and you didn't get a photo in front of the Eiffel Tower?
00:16:14.000 Well, no. I was behind it.
00:16:17.000 Why the fuck? They didn't get Paris with shit because they went to Paris and didn't get a photo in front of the Eiffel fucking tower!
00:16:24.000 No way! Paris, listen.
00:16:26.000 Paris blows.
00:16:28.000 Paris blows. One second. Paris doesn't blow.
00:16:31.000 Ah, it's true!
00:16:34.000 Shit! He's recording, T. There's nothing on me, bro.
00:16:37.000 There's nothing on me, bro. Recording what?
00:16:38.000 There's an orange. Anyway, so you went to Paris and you didn't get a photo in front of the Eiffel Tower.
00:16:44.000 No. What's the point of this conversation?
00:16:46.000 We had more fun in Zurich than you did in Paris.
00:16:48.000 Yeah. That's 100% fact.
00:16:51.000 That's a fact. Zurich was fun.
00:16:52.000 I agree. Let's show him what we did. Let's show him what we did.
00:16:54.000 Let's show him what we did. Let's show him.
00:16:56.000 Ah. Did you show him?
00:16:58.000 Did we show him? Show us.
00:17:01.000 So, you went to Paris and didn't take a picture in front of the Eiffel Tower.
00:17:06.000 No, we didn't. You guys did Paris all wrong.
00:17:08.000 You did Paris all wrong and you think that we didn't have fun in Zurich.
00:17:12.000 Why are you trying to make an argument that it doesn't exist?
00:17:14.000 Sorry, did you get fun in front of the Eiffel Tower?
00:17:16.000 I have a feeling they've been in front of the Eiffel Tower.
00:17:18.000 Yes, I am. So we got you.
00:17:24.000 So we got you.
00:17:25.000 So we had fought in Paris.
00:17:27.000 You went to Paris, and I know for a fact Paris is shit.
00:17:30.000 We had a wonderful time.
00:17:33.000 We smoked cigarettes in front of the Eiffel Tower in the same cafe that Ernest Hemingway used to get drunk in.
00:17:38.000 Yeah, but we won.
00:17:40.000 So we got you. No, no, no.
00:17:43.000 You think Paris was shit because you didn't go to the actual tower.
00:17:45.000 No, we drove right past that.
00:17:47.000 No, but you didn't get out and take a picture.
00:17:48.000 Of course not, because I've been before and it's shit.
00:17:50.000 I've seen you.
00:17:52.000 That's why I didn't get out. So we got you.
00:17:54.000 Can you admit that we got you?
00:17:56.000 They did kind of get you.
00:17:58.000 I admit you absolutely had more fun than me.
00:18:03.000 But they would get you by going to Paris.
00:18:05.000 I'm just thinking you're saying it.
00:18:08.000 You got us. He's obsessed.
00:18:10.000 We got you. At least you admit it.
00:18:11.000 We got you. How happy are you?
00:18:19.000 I'm happy. Yeah, it looks good, man.
00:18:21.000 I think it looks really good. I want to drive it.
00:18:23.000 I just spent 30 grand on it.
00:18:25.000 Extra. Black number plates look good.
00:18:28.000 Yep. What's that?