Tate Speech - August 08, 2023


Andrew Tate Live from Jail


Episode Stats

Length

23 hours and 56 minutes

Words per Minute

64.99942

Word Count

93,350

Sentence Count

11,239

Misogynist Sentences

434

Hate Speech Sentences

275


Summary

Jail is bigger than jail, and there are no cockroaches, but there are a lot of things that are different about this jail than the one you grew up in. For example, there's no roaches, the bathroom is bigger, the lighting is better, and the air conditioning is better than in the original jail. Also, the ashtray has a cigarette under its lid, which is the lid from the top of a jar of instant coffee, and it's a lot more comfortable than a normal ash tray. This is jail, but it's better than jail because it's bigger and better than your average jail room. Listen to this episode to find out what it's like to be in a real jail and how it compares to the real one. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE and leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts! We'll be looking out for your comments and thoughts in the comments section below. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll see you next week! Timestamps: 3:00 - What are the good things about jail? 5:30 - How does jail feel? 6:15 - What does jail do to you? 7:00- What do you miss? 8:40 - What's the worst thing about jail ? 9:20 - How do you feel about it? 10: What are you looking forward to doing jail time? 11:30- What's your favorite part about jail 12:00 13:40- How does it feel like? 15: What's a good thing about this place? 16: Is it a good place to spend three months? 17: What would you like to do in a good day? 18:40 19:30 21:00 -- What are your favorite thing to do? 22:30 -- How did you think about jail life? 23:40 -- How do I feel about jail, what do you think you would like to see jail time in the future? 24:20 -- Is it better than a real prison? 25:00: Is jail better than this place for me? 26:00 | What do I want to do more than this? 27:30 | What are we going to do for a week? 28:00 // 27:10


Transcript

00:00:00.000 .
00:00:41.000 Be sure not to miss out, who knows what might unfold.
00:00:44.000 So we're back.
00:01:06.000 Back in jail.
00:01:09.000 Back in jail, old friend.
00:01:10.000 It's super, super authentic.
00:01:14.000 This is exactly how jail feels.
00:01:16.000 This is bigger than jail.
00:01:18.000 And there's no cockroaches.
00:01:19.000 Yeah, let's do a difference of the rooms.
00:01:23.000 Because people are listening.
00:01:25.000 One, there are no cockroaches, because I didn't want to put cockroaches in my house, because then they'd infest the house and be very hard to kill them. So there are no roaches here.
00:01:34.000 The original jail had roaches.
00:01:36.000 Two, the original jail we had a television with a few channels, most of them in Romanian.
00:01:41.000 Now instead of a television, we have a screen where we can see ourselves, and on the screen we can see ourselves, we also have viewers, and we may be opening up to questions at some point.
00:01:54.000 And that's our entertainment instead of having a television.
00:01:58.000 This area is twice as big.
00:02:02.000 We're by ourselves.
00:02:05.000 We have no cellmates.
00:02:06.000 No one else is going to come into this jail.
00:02:09.000 Certainly not during this 24-hour emergency meeting.
00:02:12.000 And our bathroom is just behind the cameras.
00:02:14.000 There's a tiny toilet separated by a door.
00:02:17.000 But that's very authentic because in actual jail we had a bathroom door where you could go and do your business anyway.
00:02:23.000 Anyway, so we exit for a minute or two, that's just us going to the bathroom.
00:02:26.000 I have the authentic jail slippers.
00:02:27.000 You do have the authentic jail slippers.
00:02:28.000 Are you jealous?
00:02:29.000 No, because I didn't wear them either in the hotel or prison room.
00:02:32.000 I said they were ugly when we were in jail.
00:02:34.000 I told you to stop wearing them.
00:02:36.000 And they even have the original pen scribbling when you scribble on them.
00:02:40.000 From jail.
00:02:43.000 Also, because we're under judicial control, tomorrow morning at 11, me and Andrew do have to go to a police station to sign a piece of paper.
00:02:50.000 Now, we will not be using our phones.
00:02:53.000 We'll be put in the back of a car, driven to the police station, and driven straight back here.
00:02:56.000 Again, very authentic to the real jail experience, as we often were escorted to go to Court, the doctors, policemen take us places.
00:03:04.000 So we are actually going to a police station tomorrow.
00:03:08.000 Guards will be searching this cell while we're at the police station, and then we will be immediately thrown back in here.
00:03:12.000 No access to our phones, no access to technology.
00:03:17.000 Why are we doing this?
00:03:19.000 Bro, this is jail.
00:03:21.000 This is jail.
00:03:22.000 What did we do?
00:03:23.000 We walked back and forth.
00:03:26.000 I'll tell you what I did.
00:03:28.000 I smoked cigarettes.
00:03:32.000 The authentic jail ashtray, as you know, is the lid from the top of a jar of instant coffee.
00:03:40.000 Obviously.
00:03:41.000 Of course, I know that very well.
00:03:50.000 I feel like we're going to set a trend, Andrew.
00:03:54.000 I feel like people are gonna start recreating jail and doing jail time on the internet.
00:04:01.000 But as with everything, we're super cool when we did it first.
00:04:05.000 Just yesterday I was smoking a $2,000 cigar.
00:04:18.000 Lit.
00:04:19.000 With a DuPont.
00:04:20.000 A $60,000 light charge was purchased.
00:04:23.000 Today?
00:04:23.000 Back to jail cigarettes.
00:04:25.000 Old, reliable plastic.
00:04:27.000 big layer.
00:04:29.000 Jesus Christ, how did we do 92 days of this?
00:04:36.000 It's been five minutes.
00:04:37.000 Three months we did, bro.
00:04:42.000 Three months.
00:04:44.000 In flashbacks.
00:04:46.000 Three months we sat like this.
00:04:49.000 Three months!
00:04:50.000 Gee, for three months we sat and did this!
00:04:53.000 Think about that!
00:04:54.000 If you said that someone had to do something for a month, most people can't even go to the gym for a week!
00:04:58.000 We sat for three fucking months!
00:05:01.000 Ninety-two days!
00:05:02.000 Never missed a day.
00:05:04.000 We got a single day off.
00:05:07.000 Yeah, three months of consecutive jail time.
00:05:12.000 Man, that sucks.
00:05:14.000 Think of what people like me and you are capable of accomplishing in three months.
00:05:20.000 We're not just those bums who sit at home and waste all their energy and waste all their potential.
00:05:25.000 We actually have things to do.
00:05:28.000 We have kids and shit as well.
00:05:30.000 Three months.
00:05:32.000 What are the good things about jail?
00:05:34.000 What, this jail?
00:05:39.000 Now we're in jail?
00:05:41.000 Yeah, what's the good things about jail?
00:05:42.000 No women are stressing us.
00:05:43.000 No one's blowing up our phones.
00:05:44.000 We have no phones.
00:05:46.000 No stress.
00:05:47.000 Is that a good thing?
00:05:50.000 There's a cigarette under my pillow.
00:05:52.000 Whoever was setting up this jail put a cigarette under my pillow.
00:05:55.000 Better smoke it, then.
00:05:57.000 Well, I know the rules.
00:05:58.000 Find a cigarette, you have to smoke it.
00:06:02.000 This is hotter than jail, because there's no air conditioning.
00:06:05.000 And it's Romanian summer.
00:06:07.000 I was in Romanian winter in jail.
00:06:08.000 Yeah, jail was freezing.
00:06:12.000 Let me see if I can get comfortable.
00:06:14.000 Of course the original jail ashtray is the floor.
00:06:17.000 We sentenced ourselves to jail.
00:06:37.000 I wonder if people are expecting like a really exciting live stream because jail sounds like an exciting story but it wasn't.
00:06:45.000 It was day after day after week after month of monotonous waiting.
00:06:53.000 We did get phone calls in jail but we didn't get phone calls every day so today's gonna be one of the days that we have no phone calls.
00:07:01.000 Yeah, there were many phone call-less days in jail.
00:07:05.000 Yeah, this is one of the days when we're saving our phone minutes.
00:07:07.000 Admit you're in jail.
00:07:09.000 Admit you're in jail.
00:07:11.000 I asked you first.
00:07:13.000 Admit it.
00:07:15.000 I, Tristan Tate, am a loser and went to jail.
00:07:17.000 Admit it.
00:07:17.000 You went to jail.
00:07:19.000 We'll talk about me afterwards.
00:07:20.000 You went to jail for three months.
00:07:22.000 First you have to admit you went to jail.
00:07:23.000 And you didn't even do any crimes, so you're an extra loser.
00:07:34.000 These mattresses, although they're very uncomfortable because we bought the cheapest mattresses we could, they are slightly more comfortable than the ones in jail.
00:07:41.000 Thank you.
00:07:45.000 We got all of our mail tomorrow morning, which means any Super Chat, all of them will be saved and given to us tomorrow morning with our mail delivery.
00:07:51.000 Because that's when the mail comes.
00:07:53.000 Yeah, so good Super Chats.
00:07:58.000 Don't ask stupid questions.
00:08:03.000 Do I miss jail?
00:08:04.000 Am I enjoying this?
00:08:05.000 What do you call a man with no friends in jail?
00:08:08.000 Andrew.
00:08:10.000 Tristan.
00:08:12.000 Technically, you did more jail than me.
00:08:20.000 Because you've lived less years than me, but did the same amount of days in jail as I have, so a larger proportion of your life was spent in jail than mine.
00:08:28.000 So do you admit that you have done more jail than I have?
00:08:34.000 You admit you're the criminal.
00:08:37.000 No.
00:08:38.000 You've done more jail than me.
00:08:39.000 Neither of us have done any crimes in our life.
00:08:41.000 Yeah, but you've spent more time in jail as a percentage of your living years.
00:08:46.000 I've spent a higher percentage of my life in jail than you have.
00:08:50.000 You fucking loser.
00:08:51.000 I told you I'm institutionalized.
00:08:55.000 Sucks to be you!
00:08:55.000 I'm institutionalized.
00:08:56.000 I can't make it on the outside.
00:08:58.000 I had to build this.
00:08:59.000 People on the internet think we're doing this for like some sort of stunt.
00:09:02.000 I had to build this jail, Andrew, and I am never leaving.
00:09:06.000 You think 24 hours.
00:09:07.000 I now live here, in the jail.
00:09:10.000 That's just the way it is.
00:09:11.000 I'll get my potato soup through the door.
00:09:15.000 It's all set up.
00:09:16.000 I'm rich enough to sentence myself to jail in my own house.
00:09:20.000 You can go and live your life and drive the cars around.
00:09:22.000 I'm staying here.
00:09:24.000 It's amazing how you think when you get out of jail.
00:09:40.000 jail.
00:09:41.000 You'll appreciate everything a million times more, and you do for a while, and then it starts to feel normal again.
00:09:49.000 I still will have, I still will appreciate life much more.
00:09:54.000 We were sitting in the restaurant the other day, and I said to the guys who were drinking their coffee, smoking their shisha pipes, Not really paying attention.
00:10:04.000 I said every city you are in, everyone who's watching us, just a few miles away from you, if you live in a city, there is a building filled with dudes who you will never ever see.
00:10:17.000 They just live in jail.
00:10:19.000 There are jail men everywhere in the world.
00:10:22.000 A couple miles away from where you're sitting right now is a room, a building filled with men who will never see the light of day again.
00:10:34.000 Probably a few of them are innocent, too.
00:10:38.000 Scary.
00:10:41.000 And I'm one of them, because I'm never leaving this cell.
00:10:43.000 I like it here.
00:10:45.000 I like jail.
00:10:47.000 Matrix attack going to sleep.
00:10:54.000 Thank you.
00:10:55.000 Bye.
00:10:56.000 Matrix has attacked us.
00:10:57.000 I like his cool slippers.
00:10:59.000 You did get those cool slippers.
00:11:00.000 I'll give you that.
00:11:00.000 I also do have a pair.
00:11:02.000 But you can't do this if you don't have a pair.
00:11:06.000 This is what we did in jail, isn't it?
00:11:08.000 Bye.
00:11:12.000 What books did you bring?
00:11:13.000 Quran, and the Art of War.
00:11:20.000 What books did you bring?
00:11:23.000 the Count of Monte Cristo from Russia with Love and the Bible.
00:11:27.000 How long Are you staying in here?
00:11:37.000 I bet I'll stay in here longer than you.
00:11:43.000 How many people are watching us in jail?
00:11:45.000 What if no one's watching?
00:11:53.000 You are uninteresting, and dull, and nobody likes you.
00:12:00.000 If I had to design the worst person in the world, I would start with you as a blueprint.
00:12:04.000 And I just need to make a few tweaks and finalize the worst humans.
00:12:10.000 How would you tweak?
00:12:15.000 Good question.
00:12:16.000 There's not much to change.
00:12:19.000 Okay, so you're trying to design the worst person in the world.
00:12:22.000 Correct.
00:12:23.000 You start with me as the blueprint.
00:12:24.000 Yes.
00:12:25.000 What do you alter?
00:12:30.000 It's hard!
00:12:32.000 You're almost there, friend.
00:12:34.000 You're almost about perfect, mate.
00:12:36.000 I've almost made it.
00:12:38.000 You've almost made it.
00:12:40.000 I mean, as far as people go... Start a bit of a dickhead.
00:12:49.000 If I had to design... What flavor?
00:12:51.000 You want dinner, Marlboro, or dessert, Chesterfield?
00:12:55.000 I'll have a Chesterfield for dessert.
00:12:58.000 If I had to design the perfect brother, I'd start with you as a blueprint, but I'd change one major thing.
00:13:07.000 I'd put you in jail forever.
00:13:12.000 You know, I could get the bigger bedroom, more cars for me, don't have to share them.
00:13:21.000 So, you're a good brother.
00:13:23.000 I'd start with you as a blueprint, but I'd sentence you to life in jail forever.
00:13:29.000 Perma-jail.
00:13:31.000 Remember when we thought we were in perma-jail?
00:13:33.000 We were in perma-jail.
00:13:34.000 We're on 90 days of perma-jail.
00:13:36.000 Age requirement jail.
00:13:37.000 Especially because it's supposed to be one day.
00:13:39.000 Let me find that out.
00:13:43.000 So the jail schedule is set up to run exactly like real jail.
00:13:54.000 This is real jail.
00:13:57.000 It is.
00:13:57.000 Self-imposed.
00:13:58.000 I'd challenge anybody to do this for 92 days.
00:14:16.000 What do you call a man with no shins?
00:14:20.000 Tony.
00:14:25.000 That wasn't funny.
00:14:26.000 Yeah, I bought that.
00:14:28.000 Have you heard my joke about dreams?
00:14:31.000 No.
00:14:32.000 If it was a man, who loved trains.
00:14:36.000 So he stole one, drove it, crashed it, killed 50 people.
00:14:43.000 They sentence him to death in the United States by electric chair.
00:14:48.000 They ask him what he wants for his last meal and he says, I'll have a single banana by itself and nothing else.
00:14:52.000 And he eats the banana.
00:14:53.000 The next day they take him to the electric chair, strap him in, everything's working perfectly fine.
00:14:58.000 They pull the lever and he's still alive.
00:15:02.000 Nothing really happens.
00:15:03.000 So his lawyers fight the case and say to the judge, well, technically, he's carried out his sentence.
00:15:10.000 We put him in the electric chair, so I think we should let him go.
00:15:13.000 And they let him go.
00:15:15.000 Still train obsessed, he runs into the train station, immediately out of jail.
00:15:18.000 Steals another train, crashes, kills a hundred people.
00:15:22.000 They again sentence him to death.
00:15:23.000 They say, what do you want for your last meal?
00:15:24.000 He says, I'll have a single banana by itself.
00:15:26.000 He eats down the banana.
00:15:27.000 They strap him to the electric chair the next day.
00:15:29.000 Everything's working perfectly fine.
00:15:30.000 They pull the lever.
00:15:32.000 And he's alright.
00:15:33.000 So again he goes... Yeah, runs into another train.
00:15:37.000 Kills a thousand people.
00:15:39.000 Worst train crash in US history.
00:15:41.000 Sentenced to death.
00:15:43.000 They ask him what he wants for his final meal, and he says, I'll have a single banana on its own.
00:15:47.000 And the warden of the prison says, no no no.
00:15:52.000 I'm gonna give you the standard latter, which is steak and eggs and potatoes.
00:15:57.000 So he eats his standard meal and they walk him to the death chamber the next day, strap him into the electric chair, pull the switch, and again nothing happens.
00:16:05.000 The director of the prison says to the guards, who's been giving this guy bananas?
00:16:08.000 and one of the guards says, oh, it's nothing to do with the bananas, mate.
00:16:11.000 It's just a very bad conductor.
00:16:12.000 Ha ha ha ha ha.
00:16:19.000 Woo!
00:16:21.000 world.
00:16:21.000 Thank you.
00:16:23.000 Aren't you glad you're sucking jail with me?
00:16:26.000 Got more comedy classics coming up later.
00:16:30.000 That joke was so funny.
00:16:32.000 I forgot to laugh.
00:16:36.000 Have you heard my joke about tractors?
00:16:41.000 There was once a man who really, really loved tractors.
00:16:44.000 He had a tractor wallpaper, tractor pajamas, a tractor-shaped alarm clock.
00:16:49.000 He was actually obsessed with them.
00:16:50.000 Changed his name to John Deere.
00:16:54.000 One day, he wins the lottery, and he's finally got enough money.
00:16:56.000 He thinks, you know what?
00:16:57.000 I'm finally rich.
00:16:58.000 Farming equipment is expensive, but now I'm going to go and buy myself a tractor.
00:17:02.000 So he goes to the John Deere showroom, gets into this big tractor.
00:17:06.000 He's really excited to test drive it.
00:17:08.000 But he slips and falls, and the tractor runs over his legs, breaks both of his legs and his spine.
00:17:14.000 He spends six months in hospital rehabilitating himself.
00:17:17.000 Luckily, he's left without permanent injury, but when he leaves hospital six months later, he's exactly the same guy except he can't stand tractors.
00:17:25.000 Absolutely hates them.
00:17:26.000 Rips the tractor poster off his walls, burns his tractor pajamas, his tractor alarm clock, throws all of them out because I never want to see a tractor again.
00:17:35.000 Goes into the pub the next day for a pint.
00:17:38.000 Orders a pint from the barman, but the pub's full of smoke.
00:17:42.000 Our John Deere was a non-smoker.
00:17:44.000 So he breathes in, and he breathes out, when all the smoke in the pub clears out immediately.
00:17:52.000 Landlord of the pub looks at him and says, mate, that's amazing!
00:17:55.000 How did you do that?
00:17:55.000 He said, I'm an X-Tractor fan.
00:17:57.000 Aren't you glad you're in here with me?
00:18:05.000 Enjoying jail yet?
00:18:10.000 What do you call a dickhead in jail?
00:18:13.000 Tristan.
00:18:14.000 I admit that was a good joke.
00:18:24.000 My ex-TractorFan joke.
00:18:27.000 I don't think you get it.
00:18:27.000 I think it's just too complicated for your simple mind.
00:18:30.000 I feel like my level of comedic genius is just so far superior to anything you can possibly comprehend.
00:18:41.000 And that's why you don't laugh.
00:18:46.000 Remember in jail when I used to flirt with the female prison guards?
00:18:48.000 That was interesting.
00:18:53.000 I've been in jail two minutes, so I already start changing up again, just like jail.
00:19:03.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:19:03.000 There's nothing else to do.
00:19:06.000 There's books and cigarettes.
00:19:09.000 To be fair, I don't miss the TV, because it was just Romanian TV anyway.
00:19:16.000 But sometimes, Judge Judy was on.
00:19:21.000 Every couple days, there'd be a few episodes of Judge Judy.
00:19:26.000 Some real justice.
00:19:28.000 That was real justice.
00:19:29.000 Judge Judy is a legend.
00:19:31.000 Super legend.
00:19:33.000 She may be one of the smartest people I've ever heard speak.
00:19:35.000 People overlook that show and how great it is.
00:19:38.000 People just think it's kind of funny.
00:19:40.000 But if you're actually a smart person yourself, and you hear her powers of deductive reasoning, she's incredibly intelligent.
00:19:48.000 One of the smartest people ever to have a career in television, by far.
00:19:51.000 She's like 4'11 and she's terrifying.
00:20:01.000 If you were to go to court and lie to her, you need to be scared.
00:20:04.000 Those were the good times.
00:20:18.000 So what do we have?
00:20:20.000 Water.
00:20:22.000 Instant coffee.
00:20:24.000 Shall we eat a spoonful of it?
00:20:25.000 Like we did in jail.
00:20:28.000 Why?
00:20:29.000 To stay up all night.
00:20:33.000 to enjoy jail time more.
00:20:35.000 So you don't want to eat spoonfuls of instant coffee with me?
00:20:48.000 No.
00:20:50.000 Thank you.
00:20:53.000 No.
00:20:54.000 Why?
00:20:55.000 So you're scared?
00:20:58.000 So you're scared of the Jail Instant Coffee Challenge.
00:21:02.000 Over here you can see we have a little table with our jail stuff on it.
00:21:09.000 Plastic knives, plastic cups. Here we go. Plastic spoons.
00:21:28.000 Join me.
00:21:28.000 So, what?
00:21:37.000 It's exactly like jail.
00:21:41.000 We tried to make it as authentic as possible.
00:21:43.000 We instantly reverted to the same stupid shit we did in jail.
00:21:47.000 You did this in jail!
00:21:48.000 Don't do it!
00:21:49.000 There's no point!
00:21:52.000 Why?
00:21:53.000 Because now I have to do it.
00:21:56.000 I'm not a fucking cuck or a coward.
00:21:58.000 I'm not a little bitch.
00:21:59.000 I ain't gonna let you down.
00:22:02.000 I'm your brother.
00:22:03.000 We'll go down together.
00:22:05.000 You're a whore.
00:22:07.000 For fuck's sake.
00:22:09.000 Absolutely.
00:22:28.000 Disgusting.
00:22:30.000 Remember, Jerry, we ate one of these in a day.
00:22:36.000 Bye.
00:22:40.000 We ate one of these in a day and didn't sleep for two days.
00:22:42.000 Just kept going back and forth challenging each other.
00:22:46.000 Remember when I lit my beard on fire for a joke?
00:22:52.000 If you have a big bushy beard, gentlemen, do not try this at home.
00:22:56.000 And you're in jail.
00:22:57.000 And you light it a bit.
00:22:59.000 The flame travels across your face.
00:23:01.000 And it's kind of cool looking.
00:23:03.000 So I'd stand in the weird, bumpy, plastic mirror that you couldn't really see yourself in.
00:23:08.000 And I'd light my beard on fire as a joke.
00:23:10.000 And one time I seriously burnt my lip here.
00:23:13.000 Would you like some water?
00:23:20.000 Yes, please.
00:23:26.000 That was horrible.
00:23:26.000 Why did you make me do that?
00:23:29.000 You have the worst ideas.
00:23:32.000 In fact, it was you who started that trend in jail.
00:23:35.000 I did start it, you're right.
00:23:37.000 I started thinking I was smart.
00:23:38.000 And then you called me names until I joined in.
00:23:40.000 Well, that's most things.
00:23:41.000 You've got that control.
00:23:46.000 One time, from the commissary, I tried to get coconut water, which you couldn't get.
00:23:53.000 But they brought back this sugary, horrible drink in plastic bottles with bits of coconut floating in it.
00:24:01.000 And it had like hundreds of grams of sugar per two litres.
00:24:05.000 and I drank three bottles in one day and made myself throw up.
00:24:18.000 Now I'm not tired.
00:24:18.000 I was at least a little bit tired.
00:24:20.000 I thought I might get some sleep.
00:24:23.000 I'm buzzed up on caffeine.
00:24:24.000 For no reason.
00:24:26.000 Why did we do that?
00:24:28.000 Even in jail, when sleeping makes time go faster, we used to eat instant coffee.
00:24:32.000 I'll have one spoonful of your fucking coward, little bitch.
00:24:35.000 Pussy.
00:24:36.000 I need a cigarette.
00:24:37.000 Scared.
00:24:38.000 Scared to have two, but you'd never have two.
00:24:40.000 Little weakling man, like you're a little weakling.
00:24:42.000 I'll turn this to a coffee contest.
00:24:55.000 I need to up my daily intake of cigarettes.
00:25:02.000 James Bond smoked cigarettes.
00:25:03.000 Let's sing a song.
00:25:09.000 Did you listen to that song that I sent you the other day?
00:25:12.000 That redneck farmer.
00:25:14.000 Oh, Gay Bar.
00:25:15.000 No.
00:25:15.000 It's a really good song.
00:25:16.000 I don't like their music, man.
00:25:17.000 It's a country music song.
00:25:18.000 It's very good.
00:25:19.000 I can't remember what it's called.
00:25:20.000 Something about Tristan Tate is gay?
00:25:22.000 Oh, the Tristan Poo Poo song.
00:25:26.000 Is that what it was?
00:25:27.000 That's not a real song when you're making things up.
00:25:29.000 I'm gonna show you a magic trick.
00:25:31.000 Tell me which hand the lighter's in.
00:25:32.000 Ready?
00:25:32.000 Okay.
00:25:35.000 Neither.
00:25:37.000 Wrong.
00:25:38.000 Go ahead and open both your hands.
00:25:41.000 It's neither!
00:25:44.000 I instantly knew!
00:25:45.000 Speaking of instant... No!
00:25:48.000 No!
00:25:50.000 Who can eat more tea bags?
00:25:55.000 Woo!
00:25:56.000 And every ten minutes we'd ask each other, why are we in jail?
00:25:59.000 And neither of us knew.
00:26:03.000 Why are we in jail?
00:26:05.000 Well now we put ourselves in jail.
00:26:08.000 From before, we were walking up and down saying, why are we in jail?
00:26:12.000 Calling each other losers for being in jail.
00:26:14.000 You are a loser for being in jail.
00:26:16.000 You can admit it, you're a loser.
00:26:17.000 You're a fucking loser.
00:26:19.000 You're the one in jail.
00:26:22.000 I'm not in jail.
00:26:23.000 My mind is free.
00:26:27.000 Only my body is in jail.
00:26:32.000 Count Monte Cristo was really in jail.
00:26:36.000 Thirteen years.
00:26:39.000 Or cry me to commit.
00:26:41.000 What do you call a man with no friends?
00:26:55.000 Who's in jail?
00:26:59.000 I I've lost my mind again.
00:27:04.000 I've lost my mind.
00:27:06.000 What's his name?
00:27:07.000 Tristan.
00:27:11.000 I've instantly reverted to jail brain.
00:27:15.000 I feel like we're back.
00:27:20.000 We were going insane.
00:27:22.000 Maybe I did go insane.
00:27:23.000 Maybe I've lost my mind.
00:27:24.000 Maybe this is actual real jail and the last few months have just been a fantasy.
00:27:29.000 that I've been having while in my cell, rocking in the corner back and forth, screaming McLaren like I'm actually free.
00:27:36.000 You go back to jail, Brain, because when you're in jail you have to reduce your brainpower to survive.
00:27:46.000 You can't be a smart person in jail, you have to be an idiot.
00:27:47.000 Yeah, it's fucking hard.
00:27:49.000 Did you eat another spoonful of coffee?
00:27:53.000 Go on, dude, you don't have to.
00:27:54.000 Be a little bitch.
00:27:55.000 Go on, no, it's fine.
00:27:57.000 Just say you don't want to, say it's disgusting and horrible.
00:27:59.000 Go on, don't do it!
00:28:00.000 I don't want to, it is disgusting and horrible.
00:28:02.000 This is how we end up eating jars of coffee a day, Tristan.
00:28:04.000 This competition between us.
00:28:05.000 Give me the jar.
00:28:10.000 Nothing good comes of it.
00:28:13.000 My unmatched coffee spasity.
00:28:18.000 Coupled with sheer spoonability.
00:28:20.000 Makes me appear devoted in any realm of eating granulated coffee.
00:28:24.000 Remember when we got that scrabble board, that tiny little scrabble board that we hustled off those other roommates for cigarettes.
00:28:49.000 And we changed the rules of scrabble so you could make a word.
00:28:53.000 And we changed the rules of scrabble so you could make any word that sounds like it could plausibly be a word.
00:28:59.000 So, originally, We played Real Scrabble two or three times.
00:29:07.000 About once a day.
00:29:08.000 And then there was a word that probably was a word, but we didn't have a dictionary to check if it was a word or not.
00:29:14.000 So, we went further and further down the rabbit hole to anything that sounded like a word.
00:29:21.000 Couldn't count.
00:29:23.000 I won that game.
00:29:26.000 Two triple word scores.
00:29:28.000 I don't even know what the fucking word was.
00:29:30.000 It was obviously complicated and genius.
00:29:36.000 Don't worry, we'll get out.
00:29:37.000 We have court tomorrow.
00:29:39.000 Oh, I remember those days.
00:29:45.000 But, those two ladies did in fact let us out.
00:29:49.000 God bless them.
00:29:51.000 Where's my lighter?
00:29:59.000 My cigarette's gone out.
00:30:02.000 Which is unacceptable.
00:30:04.000 Light your beard on fire.
00:30:06.000 My beard's not long enough.
00:30:07.000 I'll just burn my skin.
00:30:08.000 I'm scared.
00:30:15.000 You're too scared to light your beard on fire.
00:30:18.000 Admit it.
00:30:19.000 If you lose a lighter, then we're devastated.
00:30:21.000 I found it.
00:30:22.000 Luckily.
00:30:23.000 We got another one.
00:30:23.000 We got two.
00:30:24.000 I thought it was over for us.
00:30:25.000 We got two big lighters.
00:30:28.000 Roll on deodorant, plastic cups, instant noodles.
00:30:34.000 I've got the buffaner, but it's fine.
00:30:41.000 I'm going to sleep.
00:30:42.000 I have no face.
00:30:45.000 You do have a face, though.
00:30:46.000 In fact, you have one of the most recognizable and famous faces in the world.
00:30:50.000 You draw a bald man with a beard and sunglasses.
00:30:53.000 It's a picture of Andrew Tate.
00:30:56.000 If you were a bald man with a beard before who ever wore sunglasses, you've now stolen their look, and they'll be accused of trying to look like Andrew Tate.
00:31:03.000 Now I have no legs.
00:31:05.000 You do have legs.
00:31:09.000 Now I have no arms.
00:31:10.000 You do have arms.
00:31:13.000 You're making stuff up!
00:31:14.000 Life's going pretty good for me.
00:31:15.000 I have a face and legs and arms.
00:31:17.000 To be fair, that is a very good statement.
00:31:20.000 Life is going good.
00:31:21.000 I mean, I'm in jail, but at least I have a face.
00:31:24.000 Yeah, some people don't have faces.
00:31:28.000 Now I have no head.
00:31:32.000 Admit it.
00:31:33.000 You will not get a wink of sleep until you admit that.
00:31:37.000 I swear, God is my witness.
00:31:38.000 I'll do anything it takes to keep you awake unless you admit that I have no head.
00:31:41.000 Fucking try me.
00:31:43.000 I'll start dancing around the room screaming things at you again.
00:31:45.000 Just like jail.
00:31:48.000 I'm back, why'd it long?
00:31:50.000 I bet no one's watching on your stream.
00:31:57.000 Probably not.
00:31:58.000 Because you're uninteresting.
00:32:00.000 Probably.
00:32:01.000 Nobody likes you.
00:32:02.000 Agreed.
00:32:02.000 People think you're a human trafficker.
00:32:05.000 Nobody thinks that, plus ten retarded autists full of vaccine.
00:32:09.000 Everybody with a brain knows I'm not a human trafficker for having a girlfriend with a ticked off account.
00:32:16.000 TikTok!
00:32:18.000 Your girlfriend has TikTok.
00:32:19.000 She doesn't live with you.
00:32:21.000 You've never transported her anywhere.
00:32:23.000 She's lived in this country since before you came here.
00:32:26.000 You made her do TikTok.
00:32:28.000 But we can't find the money that you made.
00:32:30.000 Matrix attack.
00:32:31.000 Matrix deck indeed.
00:32:35.000 Maybe we should make a bomb and blast our way out. This is our house!
00:32:46.000 We own this building. Have you ever considered mixing water and coffee?
00:32:54.000 To create an explosive substance.
00:32:58.000 I don't think anyone's tried that before.
00:33:01.000 Water and coffee.
00:33:02.000 No, Tristan.
00:33:02.000 I might grow my hair longer and become a short dork and start working for Vice.
00:33:09.000 You wish, mate.
00:33:11.000 What do you want to do?
00:33:11.000 What are you going to do when he beats you up?
00:33:13.000 Grab my t-shirt.
00:33:15.000 It's dedicated to him.
00:33:17.000 Can you admit that he's going to beat you up?
00:33:19.000 I mean, I've got a DNG t-shirt with him.
00:33:21.000 Nobody came to the house and you left him out.
00:33:26.000 Loser!
00:33:28.000 Loser!
00:33:31.000 Your buddy He's your mate you want to talk to him I don't even talk to him I suppose it like once You Bye.
00:33:54.000 His career is over.
00:33:55.000 You've ended that man's career.
00:33:57.000 What, the DNG?
00:33:58.000 The DNG.
00:33:59.000 You've ended his career.
00:34:02.000 He never had a career, though.
00:34:04.000 I mean, he's always been Whiz Air, ain't he?
00:34:07.000 Still Whiz Air.
00:34:09.000 Perma Whiz Air.
00:34:10.000 Whiz for life.
00:34:11.000 Whiz Man.
00:34:14.000 He is Whiz Air Man, isn't he?
00:34:17.000 But Andrew, he thought making hit pieces on you would make him mega famous and cool.
00:34:25.000 Imagine being him.
00:34:27.000 Torturous.
00:34:28.000 Probably better jail.
00:34:29.000 I'd rather be me in jail than him.
00:34:30.000 I was saying this the other day, when someone on fucking X was saying, oh, you're under house arrest and I can do whatever I like.
00:34:40.000 I'm like, your options are more limited than mine.
00:34:43.000 If you're broke, and you ain't got gasoline in the car, and no women like you, and no good men who are friends want to hang out with you, and your options are severely limited, Even now that we're on judicial control, our options of things we could do with our life, like go out and spend $10,000 on red wine and sit around with your friends and laugh, they can't do that, Andrew.
00:35:04.000 They are far less free than us, the people who hate on us.
00:35:08.000 They're much more in jail than we were.
00:35:13.000 You admit there's a picture of you on these cigarettes because you'd like to smoke them.
00:35:19.000 What is it?
00:35:19.000 Admit there's a picture of you.
00:35:26.000 Is the guy in the picture wearing a shirt?
00:35:30.000 Is the guy in the picture wearing a shirt?
00:35:33.000 Which one of us has a Cheryl?
00:35:40.000 This is you in jail.
00:35:41.000 A lot of coffees made me sleepy.
00:35:44.000 I think if we did the revolutionary act of mixing coffee and water together we could create an explosive.
00:35:48.000 Well anytime.
00:35:49.000 Apicalda's coming soon.
00:35:53.000 It's almost time for Apicalda, I forgot.
00:35:54.000 Fuck!
00:35:55.000 Apicalda's the best part of jail.
00:35:57.000 Here I was thinking I was suffering.
00:35:59.000 Apicalda's coming.
00:36:00.000 Yeah.
00:36:01.000 Fucking hell, we're jailing all that.
00:36:04.000 Apicalda means water hot, by the way, for anyone who's not Romanian.
00:36:08.000 Jail's great, but Apicalda coming.
00:36:09.000 What was I depressed about?
00:36:14.000 We did have Apicalda in jail, didn't we?
00:36:17.000 We could make chai, cafea.
00:36:21.000 When I was a jail amateur on my first day in jail, the nice ladies came and knocked on the door.
00:36:29.000 And they said, in Romanian, do you want hot water for tea or coffee?
00:36:32.000 And I was like, yeah, I'd love coffee, thinking I was at the fucking Hilton, thinking I was being Mr. Tristate, I drink golden cappuccinos and the Burj Al Arab.
00:36:41.000 And she gave me two cups of hot water.
00:36:44.000 And I realized very quickly that you had to have the coffee granules yourself.
00:36:48.000 And I sat there with those four criminals and drank a cup of hot water as my breakfast.
00:36:56.000 What was your first day in jail like?
00:37:03.000 I've never been to jail.
00:37:04.000 Yes you have.
00:37:05.000 You're the only convict here.
00:37:08.000 You have been to jail.
00:37:09.000 What do you call a man with no legs and no arms and no face?
00:37:18.000 Stump.
00:37:19.000 Faceless stump man.
00:37:21.000 Andrew.
00:37:21.000 What do you call a man who's on the front of cigarette packets in a little fetal position like a baby?
00:37:26.000 Crying his eyes out because he had a cigarette.
00:37:30.000 After you have a cigarette.
00:37:30.000 It's not.
00:37:31.000 It is.
00:37:32.000 I just had one.
00:37:33.000 After you have a cigarette, this is you.
00:37:37.000 Whaaat?
00:37:38.000 Whaaat had a cigarette?
00:37:41.000 That isn't me.
00:37:42.000 100% you!
00:37:42.000 Everyone... Why is his name Tristan then?
00:37:45.000 That's not his name.
00:37:46.000 How do you know his name?
00:37:47.000 What's his name then?
00:37:48.000 Andrew.
00:37:49.000 Show me proof of his name.
00:37:51.000 Otherwise he's officially Tristan forever.
00:37:54.000 I'm gonna find out who that man is.
00:37:56.000 That man is you.
00:37:58.000 You're going to go down the rabbit hole trying to find out who they put on the cover of Chesterfield's and be very bitterly disappointed when you find out it was you.
00:38:04.000 I will.
00:38:04.000 You will.
00:38:06.000 And once you find out it was you, will you admit, once and for all, that you are afraid of cigarettes?
00:38:14.000 I'm changing my name to Gaspard Cadarousse.
00:38:17.000 I'm changing my name to the Count of Monte Cristo.
00:38:26.000 Thank you.
00:38:28.000 This is you.
00:38:28.000 People at home need to see you.
00:38:32.000 This is Tristan.
00:38:34.000 Everyone pay attention.
00:38:38.000 This is Tristan.
00:38:39.000 I want everyone to see Tristan after he has a cigarette.
00:38:41.000 Hey look, I found a picture of you.
00:38:43.000 Picture of Tristan after he's had a cigarette.
00:38:45.000 Andrew, I found a picture of you.
00:38:46.000 What do I look like?
00:38:50.000 You're laying in bed with some woman and some child looking at you dying.
00:38:57.000 Nice.
00:38:58.000 Well, this might be you.
00:38:59.000 You're in fetal position because you cracked your eyes open.
00:39:00.000 Well, this might be you.
00:39:03.000 Dying in a hospital.
00:39:05.000 Yeah.
00:39:08.000 Why don't these pictures work at all?
00:39:11.000 They make me want to smoke more.
00:39:15.000 That guy's testosterone level must be through the roof.
00:39:21.000 Stop showing that to the cameras.
00:39:23.000 I'm showing you.
00:39:25.000 It's not me.
00:39:26.000 I like how we've blacked out our windows so we have no view.
00:39:29.000 That's very authentic.
00:39:31.000 We call a man with no...
00:39:42.000 We call a man with no cigarettes.
00:39:44.000 That's interesting.
00:39:46.000 What did you learn from JL?
00:39:55.000 What does jail teach you?
00:39:56.000 It doesn't teach you anything.
00:39:58.000 If you were a real criminal who actually did crimes, would jail rehabilitate you?
00:40:12.000 No.
00:40:14.000 Thank you.
00:40:15.000 Thank you.
00:40:18.000 You know, when I was younger, I see all these rappers think about catching a case.
00:40:26.000 Like you catch a cold, sometimes you just catch a case.
00:40:29.000 You don't do anything wrong, you're just out there in the world to catch a cold.
00:40:31.000 I heard Mayweather say that as well.
00:40:34.000 Catch a case.
00:40:36.000 I didn't really get it, but now I totally get it.
00:40:37.000 Sometimes you just catch a case, bro.
00:40:39.000 Sometimes you just end up in jail.
00:40:40.000 You didn't do anything wrong, you just kinda end up in jail.
00:40:45.000 That's part of life as a man.
00:40:48.000 That did happen to us, didn't it?
00:40:50.000 It's happened again, here we are.
00:40:51.000 Well, this... okay.
00:40:56.000 It's amazing how like Jail this feels.
00:40:59.000 You've really done well.
00:41:00.000 I spy with my eyes on the amends of Jay.
00:41:11.000 You got me with that one when we first got moved to the same cell together.
00:41:14.000 Took me a while and I realized the answer was Jail.
00:41:19.000 I spy with my little eye something that begins with B. I don't know.
00:41:27.000 Baby!
00:41:29.000 I spy with my little eye something that begins with S-D-H.
00:41:34.000 Stupid dickhead.
00:41:35.000 Me.
00:41:37.000 Well played.
00:41:38.000 Thanks.
00:41:40.000 Why don't we light a fire and burn this building down as a protest?
00:41:50.000 I really think we could build a bomb.
00:41:52.000 I remember seeing the Steven Seagal movie where he was under attack and he was in the house- You are not Steven Seagal!
00:41:58.000 Hear me out.
00:41:59.000 He took some cooking oil and some Vaseline- Yeah, put it in the microwave.
00:42:02.000 And for some reason that was a massive explosion.
00:42:04.000 Yeah.
00:42:05.000 I don't think anyone has ever tried putting water and coffee together before.
00:42:08.000 I think if we take instant coffee granules and add water we can create an explosive that allows us to break out of jail.
00:42:13.000 Through the concrete walls.
00:42:15.000 We just have to shield ourselves from the blast.
00:42:18.000 How about this?
00:42:20.000 To add to the explosive potential, when they give us hot water or apicalda, let's do the revolutionary idea of mixing hot water with instant coffee granules to create an explosive we can use to break ourselves out of jail.
00:42:33.000 I'd rather make tea.
00:42:37.000 The entire British Empire was built on cups of tea.
00:42:40.000 Do you remember getting up early in the morning to go to court?
00:42:54.000 .
00:42:56.000 More often than not to just get sent back to jail.
00:42:59.000 Snore.
00:43:02.000 Retort.
00:43:05.000 Report.
00:43:07.000 Fort.
00:43:12.000 Port.
00:43:15.000 short are we actually doing this one time at once month Thank you.
00:43:29.000 We need to ask Twitter who they want to see in jail with us.
00:43:33.000 Do a day a month in jail.
00:43:35.000 Yeah.
00:43:35.000 A thirtieth of our lives in jail.
00:43:37.000 Sentence our friends to jail.
00:43:38.000 If we do one day every month in jail, the twelfth of every month, we'll appreciate life more.
00:43:44.000 This has made me remember jail.
00:43:45.000 The worst thing about jail is you.
00:43:55.000 Yeah, I prefer being with the random Romanian drug dealers.
00:43:58.000 the moment they put me in a cell with you, I was pissed.
00:44:00.000 That was extremely depressing.
00:44:08.000 Start eating coffee and doing weird shit.
00:44:10.000 One of the best days in jail is when that guy's wife So, thank you.
00:44:23.000 Sent him stuffed peppers.
00:44:26.000 And I ate stuffed peppers with crunched up Doritos in it.
00:44:29.000 And it was the most delicious thing I've ever had.
00:44:33.000 Maybe in my life.
00:44:38.000 Only cost me a few cigarettes.
00:44:41.000 Alright, cigarettes are the currency of jail.
00:44:45.000 So I'll give you five cigarettes if you never talk to me again.
00:44:48.000 I'll give you six cigarettes afterwards if I'm allowed to talk to you again.
00:44:51.000 No.
00:44:52.000 It's actually a good trade.
00:44:53.000 I end one cigarette up for free.
00:44:56.000 But then I'll give you seven cigarettes to take all the cigarettes back.
00:44:59.000 That doesn't make any sense.
00:45:01.000 Then I'll give you eight cigarettes to get over it.
00:45:07.000 I'm gonna quit smoking.
00:45:11.000 You won't.
00:45:13.000 Actually later Who would be good to have in jail with us?
00:45:42.000 Thanks.
00:45:43.000 Bye.
00:45:46.000 I think Rory would drive me fucking insane.
00:45:48.000 You know what I don't understand about people in jail, why don't they just go home?
00:45:54.000 Do you remember every time I got bored I lifted the phone off the wall and started calling a taxi, saying can I have a taxi please from jail to take me home?
00:46:04.000 Didn't work, did it?
00:46:04.000 Do you remember the Romanian television commercials?
00:46:14.000 That guy who beat you up in the cholesterol advert?
00:46:19.000 No?
00:46:19.000 Forgot?
00:46:21.000 Also.
00:46:23.000 All right, we now spend 1 30th of our lives in jail Thank you.
00:46:39.000 Thank you.
00:46:40.000 So by the time I'm 60, I've spent a year, by the time I'm 65, I would have spent a year of my life in self-imposed jail.
00:46:50.000 And I feel like the other 29 years of freedom, I'll appreciate much more.
00:47:02.000 Bro, how do we do 92 days of this?
00:47:06.000 Iron minds.
00:47:07.000 You have no choice.
00:47:10.000 Depressive as fuck, bro.
00:47:12.000 What were our options?
00:47:13.000 Leave?
00:47:14.000 Good thing depression isn't real.
00:47:16.000 Depression isn't real, is it?
00:47:18.000 Loads of people in jail are depressed, though.
00:47:24.000 The people in jail would often talk about what they're gonna do when they go home.
00:47:30.000 But some of the guys there who were looking at like 15, 20 years just looked super depressed every time someone was talking about what they'd do when they go home.
00:47:38.000 Hug my kids, kiss my wife.
00:47:41.000 And then there was those guys who were just in jail.
00:47:47.000 Really in jail.
00:47:48.000 Really in jail.
00:47:50.000 We were quite in jail.
00:47:53.000 But we met people in jail who are gonna die in jail.
00:47:59.000 Yeah, that's gay.
00:48:04.000 Some people deserve it though.
00:48:09.000 That's the thing people ask me about the conditions in jail.
00:48:11.000 I said I'm glad they're crap.
00:48:12.000 I don't want them to be good.
00:48:14.000 Criminals don't deserve nice jails.
00:48:17.000 Sure, I didn't deserve to be there.
00:48:19.000 Would you rather have a pet dog as smart as a snail or a pet snail as smart as a dog?
00:48:27.000 Pet snail as smart as a dog.
00:48:28.000 Why?
00:48:30.000 What can a snail do even if you tell it to fetch?
00:48:32.000 It's too slow.
00:48:33.000 Can't pick anything on.
00:48:35.000 I've got nothing but time.
00:48:38.000 I'm in jail.
00:48:39.000 We're gonna send a snail to fetch.
00:48:42.000 Uh... Pebble?
00:48:44.000 What the fuck do you mean with a pebble?
00:48:47.000 Throw it so the snail can go get it.
00:48:49.000 What would you name him?
00:48:51.000 You would not play fetch with your snail.
00:48:52.000 Slimy.
00:48:53.000 Slimer.
00:48:54.000 If you stepped on a snail and killed him, would you feel bad?
00:49:02.000 No.
00:49:03.000 I've probably stepped on loads of snails.
00:49:06.000 That's terrible, bro.
00:49:08.000 I think here, while we're in jail, you should repent to God and the world and you should say sorry to all the snails you've accidentally killed.
00:49:16.000 No, I don't feel sorry for snails.
00:49:17.000 No, you should say sorry to them.
00:49:19.000 You accidentally killed them, you didn't eat them, they died for nothing.
00:49:22.000 I think, while you're in jail, you should pick up your Quran and repent to your God that we, no, for all of the bacteria you've ever killed, by washing your hands with soap.
00:49:36.000 Bacteria deserves it.
00:49:38.000 So do snails.
00:49:39.000 What's snails ever done to you?
00:49:40.000 Bacteria's made me sick.
00:49:41.000 Snails have eaten my crops.
00:49:44.000 You don't have any crops.
00:49:45.000 Yes I do.
00:49:47.000 I'm gonna turn our garden into a corn farm.
00:49:49.000 You don't have any crops.
00:49:51.000 Don't I?
00:49:52.000 Are there plants in my garden, yes or no?
00:49:56.000 Trees?
00:49:57.000 Grass?
00:49:59.000 Do that, yes or no?
00:50:01.000 I've been carefully cultivating my crops.
00:50:09.000 Bye.
00:50:09.000 Bye.
00:50:10.000 Smell the fucking cigarette, loser.
00:50:13.000 We're gonna end up like the guy on the packet.
00:50:18.000 Fetal position, boy.
00:50:20.000 Crying my eyes out.
00:50:22.000 That's you.
00:50:24.000 Is it?
00:50:25.000 What did I even think about in jail?
00:50:34.000 Thank you for watching! Please like and subscribe!
00:50:39.000 The happiest day I had in jail was when news got to us that you had been self-parked.
00:50:45.000 That was a good day.
00:50:47.000 I know I didn't even see the episode, but it made me smile to know that you've been cell parked.
00:51:00.000 I am going to take a walk.
00:51:07.000 Because these beds are super uncomfortable.
00:51:13.000 Ha ha ha. This brings back memories.
00:51:16.000 Remember doing this for hours?
00:51:24.000 See you.
00:51:26.000 Free Top G. Can you hear them outside the window screaming Free Top G?
00:51:35.000 It's really happened.
00:51:37.000 When we were in jail, they'd sit outside the jail shouting Free Top G. Yeah, we did appreciate that.
00:51:44.000 We did super appreciate that.
00:51:45.000 When we were in jail, we super appreciated it.
00:51:49.000 They'd also drive past with our cars and play songs.
00:51:53.000 Like your theme tune.
00:51:54.000 Why is that your theme tune?
00:51:58.000 That was good.
00:51:59.000 That did give us an inspiration when we heard that.
00:52:02.000 That did make us happy.
00:52:03.000 Mark, how bad this is?
00:52:10.000 It's the coolest story of our life.
00:52:13.000 Free Top G!
00:52:14.000 Free Top G!
00:52:16.000 Hold tight all the mandem, all the guys who bother to drive past and give us moral support that would then make us happy.
00:52:23.000 That did make us happy.
00:52:24.000 Super appreciate that.
00:52:25.000 I'm thinking of changing the first two letters around.
00:52:37.000 From bunk and beds.
00:52:40.000 Thanks.
00:52:41.000 Okay.
00:52:41.000 To confuse the world.
00:52:45.000 Think about it.
00:52:46.000 We take the first letter from bunk and the first letter from beds, and we swap them around.
00:52:50.000 That's new enough.
00:52:51.000 It's the perfect crime.
00:52:55.000 There you go.
00:52:56.000 They drive past and play this song for us.
00:53:01.000 I wish I knew what she was saying.
00:53:03.000 I still don't know to this day what she sings about.
00:53:06.000 I should probably meet this woman at some point, considering her song is mine now.
00:53:12.000 I hope she's saying nice things about me.
00:53:14.000 It's a love song, my man.
00:53:15.000 Is it?
00:53:16.000 Yeah.
00:53:17.000 What does the man do?
00:53:17.000 I can't remember.
00:53:18.000 I read the lyrics once.
00:53:19.000 The Quran must be higher than the other books in general.
00:53:25.000 So I'm going to put it on top of this pillow.
00:53:31.000 So the Quran is the highest book.
00:53:32.000 Of course, it was on top of the other book already.
00:53:34.000 No, it was on top of the bed. It was on the same level as the other one.
00:53:36.000 **Whistling** **Whistling** **Laughter** How the fuck did we survive this, bro?
00:53:56.000 **Sigh** Oh man.
00:54:01.000 We're survivors bro.
00:54:02.000 They can't.
00:54:02.000 We're survivors bro.
00:54:03.000 They can't.
00:54:04.000 We're survivors bro.
00:54:05.000 They can't.
00:54:05.000 We're survivors bro.
00:54:06.000 They can't.
00:54:07.000 We're survivors bro.
00:54:08.000 They can't.
00:54:08.000 Bye.
00:54:12.000 They can't break our minds.
00:54:15.000 Our fans are shouting for us.
00:54:17.000 Nice.
00:54:19.000 Being falsely imprisoned for no reason and you've never committed a crime could make lots of people have mental breakdowns.
00:54:32.000 I'll see you next time.
00:54:35.000 I can't have mental breakdowns.
00:54:38.000 But I think they exist.
00:54:39.000 Hear me out.
00:54:40.000 I need to change the first two letters between bunk and beds to confuse the world.
00:54:45.000 When I say I'm going to go to the new thing, which is a new name that no one's ever heard of, So I'm going to swap around the first two letters from bunk and beds.
00:54:52.000 They won't know I'm going to sleep and they'll think I'm doing something else, which allows me to get unlimited naps behind the back of all my opponents and enemies.
00:55:02.000 What do you think?
00:55:04.000 I think that's a wonderful idea, Andrew.
00:55:06.000 I have no face.
00:55:19.000 Shut up.
00:55:21.000 Thank you.
00:55:25.000 I'm gonna sit in our chair.
00:55:29.000 And I have no legs.
00:55:30.000 We have an uncomfortable chair, just like we did in jail.
00:55:33.000 I'm going to sit in the chair for a change of pace.
00:55:36.000 So we get mail tomorrow morning.
00:55:48.000 Yep.
00:55:49.000 Super jets.
00:55:50.000 Yep.
00:55:54.000 Tomorrow morning is mail, which is all the super chats that get sent.
00:55:57.000 We get all our mail.
00:55:59.000 We follow the prison schedule for inspections, food, everything.
00:56:04.000 Yep, we get taken to the police station to sign a piece of paper.
00:56:07.000 just like when we're in jail.
00:56:09.000 Boarded jail now.
00:56:19.000 Oh.
00:56:21.000 Bored of it.
00:56:25.000 Going to sleep.
00:56:27.000 Good night.
00:56:28.000 Good night, cruel world.
00:56:30.000 Tomorrow we also have to train.
00:56:31.000 We have to do a thousand push-ups tomorrow.
00:56:33.000 Yeah, we trained in jail.
00:56:34.000 We got war balls.
00:56:39.000 Good night.
00:56:44.000 Hello.
00:56:45.000 Admit I have no legs.
00:56:48.000 Shut the fuck up.
00:56:51.000 jail was better with the Romanian criminals these posters are very cool You know what isn't cool?
00:57:13.000 You.
00:57:14.000 And now I have no head.
00:57:18.000 Who is the world's most boring internet influencer?
00:57:23.000 Andrew Tate.
00:57:25.000 Do you realize that?
00:57:33.000 Thank you.
00:57:34.000 You ever hear my joke about the guy who loved tractors?
00:57:37.000 I told you that joke an hour ago.
00:57:39.000 You ever hear my joke about the guy who loved trains?
00:57:44.000 Go on, tell it.
00:57:46.000 He was a very bad conductor.
00:57:49.000 That's just the punchline.
00:57:51.000 Yeah, we skip all the boring part and get to the funny part.
00:57:56.000 Do you ever hear my joke about the guy who loves cars?
00:57:58.000 No.
00:57:59.000 There once was a man who completely loved cars.
00:58:02.000 But he didn't like the idea of buying a new car.
00:58:05.000 Because he wanted to get one that had already been run in.
00:58:07.000 So he decided to buy a used car.
00:58:10.000 Okay.
00:58:10.000 So he drove down the road in his car, went to the first used car lot he found, asked them how much they'd take trade-in for his car.
00:58:19.000 Okay.
00:58:20.000 They said $5,000.
00:58:20.000 Okay.
00:58:21.000 And he was going to swap it for a very expensive fancy used car that cost $20,000.
00:58:26.000 Okay.
00:58:28.000 But he asked for a test drive.
00:58:29.000 Okay.
00:58:30.000 And the used car salesman said, sure, you can test it.
00:58:33.000 So he gets in the car and he drives out and he drives north.
00:58:38.000 Then he drives south, then he drives west, then he drives east, and he returns to the used car salesman and says, I'll let you know if I want the car.
00:58:47.000 I have to see a few other cars first.
00:58:50.000 So he gets back in his original car, drives on the road, finds another used car loan, asks them how much they'd give him for his car.
00:58:58.000 They said $6,000.
00:58:59.000 And he traded it in and he got a fancy new used car.
00:59:05.000 So he says, okay, I want to test this car.
00:59:06.000 I found a really nice car for $45,000.
00:59:08.000 I want to test it.
00:59:09.000 He got in it and he drove north.
00:59:11.000 He drove south.
00:59:13.000 He drove west.
00:59:15.000 He drove east.
00:59:17.000 He came back and told the used car salesman, I think I might get this car.
00:59:21.000 I'm very interested, but I'm going to try another car law.
00:59:25.000 He gets back in his car, drives down the road to another car law that sells used cars.
00:59:32.000 He asked him how much he could get trading for his car.
00:59:33.000 He said $7,000.
00:59:34.000 They had a fancy new Cadillac.
00:59:39.000 Sorry, used Cadillac.
00:59:40.000 Almost new.
00:59:41.000 Used.
00:59:42.000 Perfect.
00:59:42.000 Exactly what he was looking for.
00:59:44.000 Took it out for a test drive.
00:59:44.000 Drove north.
00:59:46.000 Drove south.
00:59:48.000 Drove west.
00:59:50.000 Drove east.
00:59:52.000 Came back in.
00:59:54.000 Told the car salesman that he's very tempted.
00:59:56.000 He might buy it, but he has to try another car lot.
01:00:00.000 So he drives down the road.
01:00:01.000 Shut the fuck up.
01:00:02.000 You're going to keep saying this over and over again, increasing it by $1,000 each time.
01:00:07.000 And finds another car lot.
01:00:10.000 And he asked him how much he could get traded for his car.
01:00:11.000 He said $8,000.
01:00:13.000 And he saw a used car he liked on the car lot.
01:00:19.000 So he said, can I take it for a test drive?
01:00:20.000 The guy said, yes.
01:00:21.000 So he drove it north, drove it south, drove it west, drove it east.
01:00:27.000 But he wasn't convinced.
01:00:29.000 So he let the salesman know.
01:00:32.000 He's almost convinced, but he's not quite convinced he has to try another car.
01:00:34.000 So he drives down the road in his car, and he finds another used car law.
01:00:36.000 And he said, how much will I get traded for my car?
01:00:38.000 And the salesman said, $9,000!
01:00:40.000 You have to uncover your head and listen to my joke.
01:00:46.000 This blanket's soundproof.
01:00:47.000 I can't hear you.
01:00:49.000 Tristan, are you accusing me of just talking complete shit and just going on and on forever about nothing?
01:00:55.000 Have you heard my joke about the ducks?
01:00:57.000 No.
01:00:58.000 Wait, I haven't finished my card joke yet.
01:01:00.000 There was four ducks who lived in a pond in the middle of a forest.
01:01:05.000 One day, a hunter came who was hunting ducks and he aimed his gun at duck number one and he fired and he missed.
01:01:18.000 Now the hunter wasn't a very good hunter.
01:01:20.000 He was too confident in his abilities and he only actually bought one shell.
01:01:25.000 to the uh forest so the hunter leaves and all the ducks say to duck number one hey mate that was very close you almost got shot by the hunter and duck number one says yeah i was super super lucky i flew up super high and evaded him so the hunter comes back with another shotgun shell the next day fires his shotgun shell at duck number two and he misses
01:01:51.000 The hunter, of course, only packed one shell, just like before, so he leaves the forest, leaves the ducks in the pond.
01:01:58.000 And the other three ducks say to duck number two, look mate, you're very lucky that the hunter aimed at you and missed.
01:02:02.000 Isn't that good?
01:02:05.000 And he said, yeah, it's wonderful.
01:02:07.000 So the hunter comes back for the third day.
01:02:11.000 He brings two shells with him.
01:02:13.000 He fires at duck number three, and he fires at duck number four.
01:02:17.000 He misses the ducks both times.
01:02:21.000 Then he went home.
01:02:22.000 You don't get it.
01:02:34.000 Do you want me to say it again?
01:02:35.000 Yeah.
01:02:38.000 Four ducks lived in a pond in the middle of the forest.
01:02:41.000 I don't get it so far.
01:02:42.000 I'm confused.
01:02:42.000 Explain it to me.
01:02:44.000 What's a duck?
01:02:47.000 Describe a duck to me.
01:02:49.000 It's got feathers.
01:02:50.000 Okay.
01:02:51.000 It quacks.
01:02:52.000 Okay.
01:02:56.000 If you were an animal that wasn't a human, you'd be a duck.
01:03:00.000 Interesting.
01:03:02.000 Because you're a stupid, pathetic loser.
01:03:09.000 What do you do if I turn the world upside down?
01:03:13.000 The world's always upside down, mate.
01:03:15.000 No.
01:03:15.000 Well, I take my pillow.
01:03:20.000 Okay.
01:03:20.000 Well, when the equator runs north to south instead of east to west.
01:03:26.000 I don't think it is.
01:03:27.000 No.
01:03:28.000 What will you do when the equator no longer functions as it should?
01:03:33.000 Well, when the equator runs north to south instead of east to west.
01:03:36.000 That's exactly what I have just done.
01:03:38.000 I don't think it is.
01:03:39.000 Try it.
01:03:40.000 No.
01:03:41.000 Scare it off.
01:03:43.000 Under foreseen circumstances, I understand.
01:03:46.000 What are you going to do when the world's best astrophysicist doesn't know what a boy is?
01:03:53.000 Know what you're made.
01:03:56.000 Neil deGrasse Bumbaglow.
01:03:57.000 Well, he understands black holes, but he doesn't understand what a girl is.
01:04:01.000 Why do you care how I identify?
01:04:03.000 Shut up, you fucking geek!
01:04:04.000 He's a geek, isn't he?
01:04:06.000 All these people who are supposed to be smart are fucking idiots.
01:04:09.000 Sam Harris is a dumbass.
01:04:10.000 Yeah.
01:04:11.000 Neil deGrasse Tyson, dumbass.
01:04:12.000 Dumbass.
01:04:13.000 They're all dumbasses.
01:04:14.000 Bill Nye sold out.
01:04:15.000 It's a spectrum.
01:04:19.000 It's not a fucking spectrum of gays.
01:04:21.000 These people are just dummies.
01:04:23.000 How did these people get known as smart?
01:04:24.000 Who actually looks at them and thinks they're smart?
01:04:26.000 And can you give me credit?
01:04:27.000 Admit before they even sold out, I said to you, I don't think these people are smart.
01:04:30.000 I think they're just fucking nerds.
01:04:31.000 Yeah.
01:04:32.000 I said, if you didn't see, I said there were nerds about all of them.
01:04:34.000 I said, you can be smart and not be a nerd, or you can just be such a big nerd that people think you're smart, but really you just have a shit personality and you're boring.
01:04:41.000 Yeah.
01:04:42.000 And you'll say what they tell you to say at the end of the day.
01:04:44.000 I won't say what they tell me to say.
01:04:46.000 They're scared, bro.
01:04:47.000 They're scared of getting cancelled.
01:04:48.000 Little babies that have gotten a cigarette.
01:04:50.000 Had a cigarette and had a fucking mental breakdown.
01:04:51.000 From now on, the loser on the front of all cigarette packets is called Neil.
01:04:56.000 Neil, fine.
01:04:58.000 Neil the loser.
01:04:58.000 Every man is crying his eyes out on a cigarette packet because he had a cigarette and somehow died from it.
01:05:02.000 How do you die from a cigarette?
01:05:05.000 Fuck.
01:05:06.000 Because gender's on a spectrum.
01:05:08.000 I'm gonna put the polarities of Earth back to save you.
01:05:12.000 Because otherwise you're going to fall off the planet.
01:05:13.000 What the people at home don't understand is, as I lay here on this bed... You almost fell off the planet.
01:05:19.000 Yes.
01:05:20.000 Think about it.
01:05:21.000 Technically, you're not looking up.
01:05:23.000 Technically, you're glued with your back to the earth, staring down into infinite space.
01:05:31.000 Did you know that?
01:05:32.000 All I can see is a jail bed, mate.
01:05:34.000 If I grip with my fingers into the floor of jail, I can use my chi to slow down the Earth's rotation.
01:05:41.000 Have you ever been to Jupiter?
01:05:42.000 To make days longer.
01:05:44.000 Hear me out.
01:05:45.000 And if I speed the Earth up to spin 92 times faster, we can finish our whole jail sentence in a day.
01:05:56.000 Have you ever been to Jupiter?
01:05:57.000 Yes.
01:05:58.000 Is that why you're stupider?
01:05:59.000 You will never recover for the rest of your fucking life.
01:06:09.000 You will never financially recover from what just happened to you.
01:06:12.000 You're going to be broke forever.
01:06:13.000 Next time you fucking want to walk around, I'm Mr. Millionaire, I'm a titleless man.
01:06:16.000 Walk around in your fancy suits with your fucking fancy cars, try to go to Monaco casino, try to spend 20 or 30 grand a night on dinner.
01:06:22.000 They're going to remind you of the fact that you went to Jupiter and that's why you're stupider.
01:06:26.000 And you're never going to be the same again.
01:06:27.000 You will never recover from this exact moment.
01:06:30.000 Your life will never be the same from this moment that I told the whole fucking world.
01:06:33.000 Where you been and what you really are.
01:06:34.000 I can't, I'm Neil.
01:06:35.000 I'm scared.
01:06:35.000 watching us. Your favorite planet is Uranus.
01:06:40.000 I'm a fucking cigarette. I can't, I'm Neil. I'm scared. I'm gonna die. Cigarettes are a spectrum. Okay? I roasted them on Twitter. Tristan, cigarettes are a spectrum and how you feel about them is a spectrum.
01:06:58.000 You know the worst thing about him?
01:06:59.000 He was one of the people who said that Pluto is not a planet.
01:07:02.000 Because it's just not.
01:07:03.000 He's been to Uranus.
01:07:04.000 He's been to Uranus.
01:07:07.000 Oh yeah, he's a dummy.
01:07:31.000 I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.
01:07:36.000 It feels good to get out of the rain.
01:07:40.000 In the desert... I don't know the rest of the words.
01:07:44.000 Do you know the rest of the words?
01:07:47.000 In the desert, no one remembers your name because... La, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
01:07:53.000 Da, da.
01:07:55.000 La, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
01:08:00.000 La, da, da.
01:08:04.000 After four days in the desert sun, Andrew went to jail.
01:08:11.000 I walked up and down my jail cell, then I laid in bed.
01:08:18.000 I've been to jail longer than you have, don't you think?
01:08:25.000 Of course you have!
01:08:26.000 You've been to Jupiter as well, you fucking loser.
01:08:28.000 So I'm a hardened convict, and you're a jail noob.
01:08:34.000 Most people are jail noobs.
01:08:36.000 Most people can't handle jail.
01:08:41.000 Jail's a punishment to weak losers.
01:08:44.000 Oh no, jail!
01:08:46.000 Fuck off.
01:08:47.000 There's no punishment that can be given to us that stops us smoking.
01:08:58.000 We'll always remember that.
01:08:59.000 That's true.
01:09:00.000 Now I smoke cigarettes.
01:09:01.000 No matter what they do to me, no matter how unjust I am treated, I am always able to smoke cigarettes.
01:09:12.000 No matter what they do.
01:09:14.000 I may not be able to, you know, run my business, take care of mom, feed my children.
01:09:19.000 Let's take all that away from Tristan, cool.
01:09:22.000 But what they can't take away are my fucking smokes.
01:09:28.000 Shut up.
01:09:28.000 you don't stop the rockin' to the bang bang, the boogie to the boogie to the boogie to the beat.
01:09:31.000 Shut up.
01:09:32.000 What you hear is not a test, I'm rappin' to the beat.
01:09:34.000 I'm meeting group member friends, I'm trying to move your feet.
01:09:37.000 My name's Wonder Mike, I'd like to say hello.
01:09:39.000 From the black to the white, the red and the brown, the purple and yellow.
01:09:41.000 But first we gotta bang bang the boogie to the boogie, say I'll jump the boogie to the bang bang, boogie, let's rock.
01:09:45.000 Don't stop, my third level, I make your body rock.
01:09:47.000 Now so far you've heard my voice, but I brought one friend along.
01:09:50.000 Next on the mic is my man Tristan.
01:09:52.000 C'mon Tristan, sing that song.
01:09:54.000 Four ducks living upon the middle of the forest.
01:09:58.000 I have a used car and I'm going to the used car salesman.
01:10:01.000 North, south, east, and west.
01:10:03.000 You've been to Jupiter because you're a fucking dork.
01:10:06.000 You and Neil deGrasse Tyson have long intellectual conversations about... Gender being a spectrum.
01:10:11.000 Jerking off at the same time.
01:10:13.000 Planets are a spectrum.
01:10:15.000 Pluto's a planet.
01:10:15.000 Space isn't real.
01:10:17.000 NASA's fake.
01:10:18.000 NASA's fake and the Earth is flat.
01:10:20.000 I proved it by reversing the polarity of Earth.
01:10:23.000 I just reversed Earth's polarity with a pillow.
01:10:26.000 If the Earth was a globe, that wouldn't be possible to do.
01:10:28.000 The equator now runs from north to south, and you're never going to financially recover from the fact that everyone knows you're stupider if you've been to Jupiter.
01:10:34.000 Fact.
01:10:35.000 Scientifically proven.
01:10:36.000 In jail.
01:10:38.000 I think you are, in fact, one of the lizard people.
01:10:41.000 My investigation was inconclusive.
01:10:44.000 When I get out of here, I'm gonna fuckin' prove it to the world that you're a slimy, lizardy cunt.
01:10:53.000 And now I have no face.
01:10:55.000 Shut the fuck up.
01:10:57.000 How did I survive 92 days with you as my cellmate?
01:11:01.000 You were the worst part of jail.
01:11:03.000 **Whistling** Three months is a very long time.
01:11:30.000 If you took a three-month vacation at a five-star hotel, hear me out, you'd get bored of it.
01:11:39.000 Three months vacation?
01:11:40.000 Three months traveling the world would get bored of it.
01:11:42.000 Let alone sitting in this fucking room.
01:11:46.000 What was done to us was monstrous.
01:11:53.000 Admit you've been to Venus.
01:11:58.000 Have you been to Venus?
01:12:00.000 No.
01:12:00.000 Because you haven't got a penis!
01:12:04.000 Stupid Earth, Jupiter.
01:12:05.000 And no penis in Venus.
01:12:06.000 What's next for you?
01:12:08.000 What's next for your planetary journey of losing them around the solar system for the whole world to witness?
01:12:13.000 Voyager 10.
01:12:15.000 Tristan Tate.
01:12:15.000 Planet to planet.
01:12:17.000 Ultra dork.
01:12:18.000 Neil deGrasse Tyson and his co-pilot.
01:12:20.000 Talking about fucking spectrums and how happy you can be to talk shit and jerk off.
01:12:25.000 That's your ideal space journey, isn't it?
01:12:28.000 Star Trek, but fucking gay!
01:12:31.000 That's your fucking dream!
01:12:32.000 My ideal space journey... That is your ideal space journey!
01:12:35.000 From planet to planet with Neil deGrasse Tyson!
01:12:37.000 No.
01:12:38.000 It's going to Mars with Elon, obviously.
01:12:40.000 That's everyone's dream space journey.
01:12:42.000 Have you been to the sun?
01:12:51.000 Yes.
01:12:52.000 Because you like it up in the bum?
01:12:55.000 That for some reason wasn't funny in my ones.
01:12:59.000 Because you're trying to take my jokes, but everyone knows you're the one who was on the fucking space journey of losing them around the solar system.
01:13:04.000 And you're going to be known as that forever.
01:13:06.000 You ever been to Earth?
01:13:09.000 No.
01:13:13.000 Earth is flat and space is fake!
01:13:16.000 Nah, Elon wouldn't lie to me.
01:13:18.000 Did Elon say it's a circle?
01:13:20.000 Or whatever?
01:13:21.000 Yeah.
01:13:22.000 Elon wouldn't lie.
01:13:23.000 I believe the Earth was flat and space was fake until Elon started doing space.
01:13:28.000 Can't trust NASA.
01:13:28.000 It's run by Nazis.
01:13:29.000 Alex Jones is right.
01:13:30.000 I mean, I have no legs.
01:13:34.000 I could go to jail with Alex Jones and be very happy.
01:13:36.000 He's interesting.
01:13:37.000 He's more interesting than you.
01:13:41.000 So we're going to recreate Star Trek.
01:13:43.000 Captain Tristan of the USSS...
01:13:46.000 Spectrum.
01:13:49.000 The USS Spectrum travels the solar system, goes to Venus because he has no penis, and goes to Jupiter because he's stupid.
01:13:55.000 And the second in command is Neil deGrasse Tyson, who talks about the That's what you're going to do.
01:14:02.000 And you're going to go try and discover why you're both such monumental losers.
01:14:06.000 Set phaser to gay.
01:14:08.000 That's what you're going to say.
01:14:09.000 That's your first opening line.
01:14:10.000 I'm not sure those answers exist out there.
01:14:12.000 I have hundreds of millions of dollars and I'm going to produce this show.
01:14:14.000 And I'm an actor who represents you.
01:14:16.000 An actor who represents him.
01:14:18.000 And they're going to be all over TV.
01:14:19.000 Netflix special.
01:14:20.000 And I guarantee people watch it.
01:14:21.000 And everyone's going to learn about you traveling the solar system.
01:14:25.000 You know, really expensive movies cost less money than we have.
01:14:28.000 We could make movies.
01:14:34.000 I'm not talking to you anymore.
01:14:35.000 You're good.
01:14:35.000 I'm tired of Jay.
01:14:36.000 It'd be easier to make a smoothie than a movie.
01:14:38.000 What's going to give you more genuine satisfaction?
01:14:40.000 A nice smoothie or a stupid movie?
01:14:43.000 That question's groovy.
01:14:57.000 Having a nice walk?
01:14:59.000 What'd you do if you went to space and there was a man there?
01:15:02.000 Just a guy.
01:15:02.000 Who?
01:15:02.000 The space man?
01:15:08.000 I assume he's a demon.
01:15:09.000 Why wouldn't you assume he's an alien?
01:15:11.000 Because aliens can't be real.
01:15:18.000 Why?
01:15:20.000 Not mentioned in the Bible.
01:15:24.000 Aliens can't even find their way to Earth.
01:15:28.000 Dummies.
01:15:30.000 It's the only flat planet you have to go to.
01:15:32.000 Aliens have intercepted our number one astrophysicist talking about spectrum, and they refer to us as phallians.
01:15:38.000 I think that's true.
01:15:39.000 I think they listen to Neil deGrasse Tyson.
01:15:41.000 And they think this species is stupid.
01:15:43.000 You do not need to go to that planet.
01:15:44.000 They don't even know if they're boys or girls.
01:15:47.000 Let's talk about stars.
01:15:49.000 Who else on the internet do I dislike?
01:15:56.000 Bye.
01:15:57.000 Everyone's on the internet.
01:16:00.000 I actually don't... I don't watch anything, anybody.
01:16:04.000 It's like, what do you think about this person?
01:16:06.000 They said this about you.
01:16:06.000 I'm like, who?
01:16:08.000 Who?
01:16:08.000 I don't care.
01:16:09.000 I don't know who the people who talk about me are.
01:16:12.000 So, in a way, I win.
01:16:14.000 Talk about me all fucking day.
01:16:16.000 What's so interesting about me?
01:16:17.000 Do you remember when I ruined the Star Trek movie when it was playing in jail?
01:16:26.000 Star Trek movie came on and you said I haven't seen this and I said don't worry at the end she uses the beastie boys to kill Idris Elba and you said that can't be the ending of this movie and then it was and you laughed and said it's shit.
01:16:40.000 Yeah that was terrible.
01:16:42.000 And they made Sulu gay for no reason.
01:16:44.000 That was the second worst Star Wars Star Trek movie behind your one.
01:16:48.000 I don't have a movie.
01:16:49.000 movie. You're going to have a movie. USS Spectre. Neil deGrasse Tyson. Loserdome Journey Around the Solar System. We're going to make a...
01:17:01.000 Someone's going to produce this movie now.
01:17:04.000 I'm not smelling the deodorant.
01:17:06.000 Smelling is fun.
01:17:06.000 Do you want to smell the deodorant?
01:17:08.000 deodorant. We did used to do that. Smelling is fun. Yeah, smelling is sensory input. Do you want to smell the deodorant?
01:17:14.000 No thanks. I'll save you some. I'm going to sit and smell my cigarette. I'm going to balance the cigarette on my upper lip.
01:17:21.000 I'm going to insert cigarettes into my nostrils so every breath I take is smoking.
01:17:30.000 Every breath you take.
01:17:32.000 Every move you make.
01:17:36.000 Every single day, every time I pray.
01:17:46.000 I think I... I don't think anyone can buy water and coffee.
01:17:48.000 You need to try it.
01:17:49.000 I think I'm better at jail than you.
01:17:51.000 Why?
01:17:52.000 Dunno.
01:17:53.000 I feel more at home here.
01:17:55.000 Maybe in a previous life I really was a criminal.
01:18:01.000 I think the most illegal thing I've ever done is copy music CDs.
01:18:05.000 Illegally, when I was a teenager.
01:18:06.000 He's copying music CDs!
01:18:08.000 Police!
01:18:11.000 Take him to jail!
01:18:13.000 Are you telling on me?
01:18:14.000 Police!
01:18:14.000 To the internet?
01:18:15.000 Police guards!
01:18:17.000 I told on myself.
01:18:18.000 Tristan copied music CDs.
01:18:21.000 Yeah.
01:18:21.000 Life in jail.
01:18:21.000 I didn't even know I was 14.
01:18:22.000 Life in jail.
01:18:23.000 I was 14.
01:18:24.000 Yeah.
01:18:25.000 Admission of guilt on the internet.
01:18:28.000 Typical **** you, isn't it?
01:18:30.000 Typical **** you.
01:18:32.000 What was that Irish?
01:18:33.000 What next?
01:18:33.000 Your girlfriend got a TikTok account.
01:18:34.000 What was that stupid Irish band?
01:18:36.000 Jail.
01:18:36.000 That sang that song, C'est La Vie.
01:18:39.000 Stupid.
01:18:40.000 Yeah, what was that band saying?
01:18:42.000 Stupid!
01:18:43.000 I copied their music CD.
01:18:45.000 Internet, if you could find that band of Irish girls that sings a song called C'est La Vie.
01:18:50.000 I copied that music CD when I was 14.
01:18:52.000 Uh-oh!
01:18:55.000 Yeah.
01:18:56.000 Bewitched!
01:18:57.000 Bewitched!
01:18:58.000 Somebody find them and tell them I owe them £10.
01:19:03.000 I will pay them.
01:19:03.000 They probably need it, mate.
01:19:04.000 I copied their music CD from my friend at school.
01:19:08.000 You're a fucking criminal.
01:19:09.000 That's the most illegal thing I've ever done.
01:19:11.000 You're a criminal.
01:19:12.000 It's disgusting.
01:19:12.000 I can't share a cell with you.
01:19:14.000 I'd rather share a cell with a murderer.
01:19:17.000 Maybe Bewitched aren't famous nowadays because the £10 they lost from me copying their music CD financially ruined them.
01:19:27.000 They were £10 short of making their second album.
01:19:31.000 Who else's music CD?
01:19:32.000 Now that I'm confessing to crimes, who else's music CD is that a copy?
01:19:41.000 Jesus has forgiven me for my sins.
01:19:43.000 But that's the only crime I've done.
01:19:48.000 I'm not a sinner.
01:19:57.000 You know about human traffic?
01:20:00.000 Us.
01:20:03.000 An organized criminal gang was formed to take us away from our families and kids and lock us up.
01:20:10.000 We were human trafficked.
01:20:12.000 Agreed.
01:20:17.000 Give me the lair.
01:20:17.000 I might just stay in here forever.
01:20:26.000 Think of all those cunts that, you know, Bailey, Rory, we just ignore them.
01:20:30.000 Stay in jail permanently.
01:20:31.000 Permanent jail.
01:20:32.000 Never talk to them for the rest of our lives.
01:20:33.000 How are they going to talk to me when I'm in jail and I refuse visitors?
01:20:49.000 I'm really sorry for being witched.
01:20:53.000 What I did was morally wrong, Edgar.
01:20:56.000 You do owe them ten pounds.
01:20:57.000 Now I'm sitting here in jail.
01:20:58.000 I feel like I deserve it because I copied their music CD.
01:21:01.000 We do need to send them ten pounds to their bank accounts.
01:21:04.000 Okay.
01:21:06.000 Why did you even have their CD to copy?
01:21:07.000 Explain.
01:21:09.000 A girl at school gave it to me and asked if I could make a copy of it for her friend.
01:21:14.000 You're a piece of shit.
01:21:15.000 Yeah, I know.
01:21:16.000 You're a fucking piece of shit.
01:21:17.000 Yeah, that's my criminal history.
01:21:18.000 I didn't think there was anything that could stop us having a close brotherhood, but now I understand what you've been up to in your spare time.
01:21:24.000 You're a piece of shit.
01:21:25.000 I'm not though.
01:21:26.000 You are.
01:21:28.000 Un-fucking-believable.
01:21:34.000 You deserve all of this.
01:21:35.000 Give me a piece of paper.
01:21:36.000 You deserve everything bad that happens to you for the rest of your life.
01:21:39.000 Give me a piece of paper so I can do origami.
01:21:41.000 Everything bad that happens to you for the rest of your life is fully deserved because of what you've done.
01:21:49.000 As I sit in jail I try and wonder what I did to land myself here.
01:21:55.000 here.
01:21:56.000 I've got a black belt in origami, did you know that?
01:22:04.000 Yes I do.
01:22:05.000 I do.
01:22:08.000 I'm not lying.
01:22:09.000 I feel like the home run when I sit here on the floor like a depressed loser I am and fold a paper crane.
01:22:15.000 I'm gonna use this paper crane.
01:22:17.000 That's what you do in jail.
01:22:24.000 Are you gonna sleep or are you gonna stay up all night smoking cigarettes and sleep during the day?
01:22:43.000 Like we used to.
01:22:45.000 See what happens.
01:22:48.000 There's a lot less screaming in this jail than the previous one.
01:22:52.000 Screaming.
01:22:54.000 Thank you.
01:22:57.000 Thank you.
01:22:58.000 The greatest television series ever produced was Peep Show.
01:23:02.000 Pink show was a great show.
01:23:04.000 You don't know how to block out an origami.
01:23:14.000 Bye.
01:23:17.000 You are unaware.
01:23:20.000 You are unaware that my origami skills are frightening. Frighteningly good.
01:23:26.000 If I fold a paper crane, the internet has to worship me.
01:23:41.000 Is there a fly in here?
01:23:42.000 There's a fly in jail.
01:23:46.000 Assassinated.
01:23:51.000 Nice!
01:23:52.000 One-shot kill!
01:23:55.000 When in jail, the insects couldn't escape me.
01:23:58.000 I killed the cockroaches.
01:24:02.000 It's not origami if you have to rip the paper, mate.
01:24:03.000 Yes it is, because you have to sort origami with a perfect square of paper.
01:24:09.000 A4 is not for origami.
01:24:10.000 Isn't it?
01:24:11.000 No.
01:24:11.000 It has to be a square.
01:24:13.000 So now, Internet, I have a square of paper.
01:24:16.000 I'm going to use this square to fold a beautiful paper swan.
01:24:21.000 Because I am an origami black belt, as I said.
01:24:28.000 Unlike you, who by the way is an origami loser.
01:24:34.000 You should call it Florigami.
01:24:37.000 I ain't gonna sit on the floor.
01:24:40.000 And then you should sell it and call it... Plorigami?
01:24:45.000 STORIGAMI!
01:24:46.000 And then when someone can't afford it, you call it... Florigami.
01:24:51.000 And then you can write folk tales about it and call it... Lorigami.
01:24:55.000 Correct.
01:24:57.000 And then you can shout out from the rooftops about how good you are and call it... RORIGAMI!
01:25:04.000 And you can do it in a private jet and call it Soar Mommy.
01:25:07.000 OK.
01:25:16.000 There's also a joke about Hororagami in there somewhere, but I don't want to be accused of being a misogynist for making a joke.
01:25:22.000 Yeah, I might end up in jail.
01:25:24.000 Again.
01:25:25.000 Men are better drivers than women.
01:25:26.000 Sir, it's right to jail!
01:25:28.000 Right to jail, right away.
01:25:29.000 You think you're the jail?
01:25:32.000 You are a loser.
01:25:33.000 I'm a loser.
01:25:34.000 What the fuck were you doing in jail?
01:25:36.000 My girlfriend had TikTok.
01:25:38.000 Your girlfriend had TikTok?
01:25:39.000 No, human trafficker.
01:25:43.000 Correct!
01:25:45.000 I don't think I know a girl who doesn't have TikTok.
01:25:48.000 Maybe everyone's human trafficked.
01:25:50.000 Maybe everyone's a human trafficker.
01:25:52.000 I mean, everyone does have TikTok.
01:25:54.000 Probably.
01:25:55.000 Probably.
01:25:56.000 I wonder if the people doing this to us have family members with TikTok?
01:26:02.000 Probably.
01:26:03.000 I liked your lightbulb analogy on that Romanian TV interview.
01:26:08.000 That was very good.
01:26:09.000 It's true.
01:26:10.000 It's stupid.
01:26:11.000 What's the best way to change a lightbulb?
01:26:13.000 Well, I'm a professional at changing lightbulbs.
01:26:14.000 Here's how you change a lightbulb.
01:26:16.000 Go and change the lightbulb.
01:26:17.000 Force labor.
01:26:18.000 You were nice to her.
01:26:19.000 Love-boy method.
01:26:20.000 Force labor.
01:26:21.000 Human trafficking.
01:26:22.000 Yep.
01:26:23.000 That was a very good analogy, Andrew.
01:26:24.000 It's fucking ridiculous.
01:26:25.000 Let me make sure it's time.
01:26:39.000 I just want you to shut up, Andrew.
01:26:45.000 Have you?
01:26:46.000 I'll stop telling everyone about your Star Trek movie.
01:26:50.000 That's not a real thing, though.
01:26:51.000 You made that up.
01:26:51.000 I'm gonna make it real.
01:26:53.000 We're gonna produce it.
01:26:54.000 No.
01:26:54.000 We are.
01:26:55.000 You're Mr. Producer.
01:26:56.000 I'm Mr. Producer, and I'm gonna hire an animation team to animate a Star Trek series where you, on the U.S.S.
01:27:00.000 Spectrum, travel around on a journey of lucidum through the solar system with Neil deGrasse Tyson.
01:27:06.000 You go to Venus because you have no penis.
01:27:07.000 You go to Jupiter because you're stupider.
01:27:08.000 Neil deGrasse Tyson tells you the whole time that a man wants to be a woman.
01:27:11.000 Why do you care?
01:27:12.000 Because that's science.
01:27:15.000 Okay.
01:27:16.000 Okay.
01:27:16.000 I look forward to seeing it.
01:27:18.000 I admit it.
01:27:18.000 I'm going to do it. When that's Will you admit that I made the movie? I will admit it. I'm going to do it. You can't stop me.
01:27:29.000 The only way to stop me is to kill me in the cell before I let me out.
01:27:32.000 Good luck sleeping.
01:27:34.000 Okay.
01:28:03.000 I think it was a bit too thick for Oregon.
01:28:09.000 And the excuses come!
01:28:10.000 Didn't take fucking long, did it, Mr. Fucking Origami?
01:28:12.000 Now you're coming up with excuses already.
01:28:14.000 What next?
01:28:16.000 What next, dickhead?
01:28:18.000 Come on!
01:28:19.000 What next?
01:28:20.000 Cunt.
01:28:21.000 I wonder everyone fucking hates you.
01:28:23.000 You're universally despised.
01:28:25.000 Nobody on this planet has ever said a good word about you, ever.
01:28:27.000 Well, also that's true.
01:28:32.000 Millions of people are, all the time.
01:28:35.000 Oh, by the way, while people are listening to us, if you ever send me a message that starts with Day 3 of trying to get your attention, I want you to understand that thousands of people are doing that, and I will immediately block you.
01:28:55.000 The only acknowledgement you might get is a block.
01:29:00.000 Day 26 of trying to tell the tellers, man, my shit business idea.
01:29:06.000 Shut up.
01:29:07.000 I wish you luck out there in the world.
01:29:10.000 Don't waste my time.
01:29:11.000 I'm a businessman.
01:29:12.000 I've got business plans.
01:29:14.000 So, Theodore Davis.
01:29:15.000 That's all I am going to say.
01:29:16.000 Escape.
01:29:29.000 I have my hands full.
01:29:30.000 We can do this, we can drive here.
01:29:32.000 I'm going to be bewitched when I see them.
01:29:33.000 What would you do if bewitched were waiting for you outside jail to beat you up?
01:29:37.000 I'd just let them beat me up.
01:29:39.000 Like, we get out of here, okay?
01:29:41.000 Three Irish ladies come up.
01:29:43.000 They'd be old now, wouldn't they?
01:29:44.000 Yeah, they would.
01:29:45.000 Middle-aged Irish women.
01:29:46.000 Middle-aged Irish women who are very angry you stole £10 from them back in 2001 and decided to beat the living shit out of you.
01:29:51.000 And I agree with them, so I don't help you.
01:29:53.000 What would you do?
01:29:54.000 How would you defend yourself?
01:29:55.000 Well, if anyone attacked me, I guess I'd have to defend myself.
01:29:58.000 I don't think I'd have to try very hard.
01:30:04.000 I have competently folded a paper swan.
01:30:08.000 Can you admit that I have a black belt in origami?
01:30:11.000 I think I just win.
01:30:13.000 Such a loser.
01:30:15.000 You would deserve that though.
01:30:17.000 I have competently folded a paper swan.
01:30:27.000 Can you admit that I have a black belt in origami?
01:30:29.000 Just admit that you can't do that and I have a black belt in origami.
01:30:33.000 Admit it to the fucking world!
01:30:35.000 You doubted me.
01:30:37.000 You said, and I quote, Tristan, you will never competently fold a paper swan ever.
01:30:45.000 End quote.
01:30:46.000 Andrew Tate, 2023.
01:30:47.000 Just before this live stream started.
01:30:49.000 That's what you said.
01:30:51.000 And here I stand, triumphant in my achievement at folding a perfectly made paper swan.
01:30:58.000 I want you to have this, Andrew.
01:31:00.000 As a symbol of all the things you'll never achieve.
01:31:03.000 As a symbol to the nobody that you'll always be.
01:31:06.000 I know you're angry, right?
01:31:15.000 That is what happens when you try and become something in life.
01:31:19.000 The Matrix beats you down.
01:31:21.000 Yeah, let's set a fire.
01:31:22.000 Fuck you, Swan.
01:31:23.000 Let's burn our way out of here.
01:31:24.000 Let's set the whole place on fire.
01:31:26.000 Fuck this, Swan.
01:31:31.000 We really need... Tristan, hear me out.
01:31:33.000 What if the Swan is the first thing we explode with our new explosive coffee?
01:31:36.000 He's unburnable.
01:31:37.000 Tristan, we need to mix hot water with instant coffee.
01:31:39.000 It's never been done before.
01:31:40.000 We create a super more powerful explosive than a nuclear bomb and blow our way out of here.
01:31:45.000 Koffenheimer.
01:31:47.000 Smart.
01:31:48.000 Super smart.
01:31:50.000 I think we should at least try it.
01:31:53.000 Poor Swan.
01:31:55.000 All he wanted was...
01:31:57.000 you to acknowledge that I am the master of origami and you'll never ever, ever, ever amount to anything. Nothing you've ever done in your life tops the achievement of me making a paper swan. Live to the internet. How jealous are you on a scale of 1 to 10?
01:32:16.000 10.
01:32:17.000 10.
01:32:20.000 Sucks to be you, doesn't it?
01:32:22.000 Little Mr. Andrew, sitting there with a minute piece of paper in his hand, wishing it was a swan, but unable to fold it into one because you're a bumbly-handed loser who can't competently fold paper.
01:32:36.000 I admit, if you can't do origami, you are a loser if you can't fold paper.
01:32:39.000 You can't even fold a piece of paper in half.
01:32:41.000 That's how shit you are.
01:32:43.000 You couldn't fold a piece of A4 paper into two.
01:32:48.000 That's how shit you are at origami.
01:32:50.000 The single worst man that's ever existed at the ancient martial art of origami.
01:32:58.000 Fucking embarrassing.
01:33:01.000 How could I, the great Tristan Tate origami legend of the internet and the world, have a brother like you?
01:33:07.000 You're right.
01:33:08.000 That paper is coated with plastic.
01:33:09.000 It stinks.
01:33:10.000 You're right.
01:33:11.000 I admit that I'm shit at origami because I can't fold paper.
01:33:14.000 You can't even fold a piece of paper in half.
01:33:15.000 I'm having a crisis.
01:33:16.000 A life crisis.
01:33:16.000 You can't fold one piece of paper in half.
01:33:18.000 I can't make a stupid crane out of paper like you.
01:33:20.000 Yes, exactly.
01:33:21.000 I'm a loser.
01:33:21.000 No, I know you are.
01:33:23.000 I'm fully aware.
01:33:24.000 What am I gonna do about this? Will you teach me how?
01:33:28.000 No. My origami knowledge cannot be passed on to losers like you.
01:33:34.000 You will never know how to do that.
01:33:38.000 Ever, ever, ever.
01:33:41.000 You have one chance in life to watch me do it and to try to competently copy me, and you fail.
01:33:49.000 And I'm going to try to do it.
01:33:50.000 I'm going to try to do it.
01:33:51.000 And I'm going to try to do it.
01:33:52.000 Thank you.
01:33:56.000 You're officially Porigami.
01:33:59.000 I'm Porigami.
01:34:00.000 You're right.
01:34:00.000 I'm Porigami.
01:34:02.000 I'm officially Porigami.
01:34:03.000 Yeah, I know you are.
01:34:07.000 I'm devastated, Tristan.
01:34:08.000 Yeah, I bet.
01:34:10.000 It must hurt to be that big of a loser.
01:34:13.000 Ah!
01:34:13.000 Apicalda!
01:34:14.000 Yep.
01:34:15.000 What's a mess?
01:34:16.000 Apicalda's arrived!
01:34:18.000 Woo!
01:34:19.000 So, when Apicalda's here, do you want to talk him through the Apicalda system while I prepare the Apicalda and the Pigeon Pie?
01:34:23.000 We can talk about it.
01:34:25.000 We can talk about the Apicalda system.
01:34:26.000 I think we need to open the window, though.
01:34:28.000 In jail, we did have a small window to open.
01:34:29.000 We did have a window to open.
01:34:31.000 And that paper swamp stinks.
01:34:32.000 Yeah, that paper, it stinks like plastic in here because of your bullshit salon project.
01:34:37.000 Bullshit.
01:34:38.000 That's just the man who can't do it.
01:34:41.000 If it's so bullshit, how come you can't do it?
01:34:52.000 Go on, explain the Apicalda system, I'll get the towel.
01:34:55.000 When Apicalda shows up, you have to get the towel, first thing.
01:34:59.000 Andrew, do you want to explain this?
01:35:00.000 I'm an origami loser and I can no longer talk.
01:35:03.000 I hate my life.
01:35:04.000 So what you do is, when you get hot water, or apicala as we call it in jail, when you're institutionalized like me, you take one bottle and you wrap it in a towel to maintain the heat.
01:35:26.000 The heat of the apicalda needs to be maintained.
01:35:31.000 So you wrap it up in a towel, and that way you have apicalda for later.
01:35:45.000 One.
01:35:46.000 My trusty Bible.
01:35:49.000 And then we have an avocado to use.
01:35:51.000 So I'm going to make tea and instant noodles.
01:35:55.000 Tea and ramen.
01:35:57.000 Exactly.
01:35:59.000 That's what we did, didn't we?
01:36:00.000 We got avocado, we made instant noodles.
01:36:02.000 Exactly.
01:36:03.000 It is what we did, isn't it?
01:36:04.000 It's all coming back to me.
01:36:06.000 I'd love some noodles.
01:36:07.000 I want some noodles.
01:36:10.000 Well, we haven't got bowls, we forgot, so we have to make them into cups.
01:36:13.000 Nice.
01:36:14.000 Cup of noodles.
01:36:14.000 This is going to melt with the hot water.
01:36:19.000 You think?
01:36:21.000 No, no, no, I think cups are OK.
01:36:23.000 So we've got one bottle wrapped, so we've got two hours more where that water stays hot.
01:36:40.000 Yeah, you wrap it in a towel and you've got two hours.
01:36:46.000 Noodles in a cup!
01:36:50.000 They taste so good to eat!
01:36:53.000 Noodles in a cup!
01:36:56.000 The tasty prison treats!
01:36:58.000 I make my noodles with hot water and they taste so great!
01:37:09.000 I'm in jail!
01:37:11.000 For no reason.
01:37:12.000 Because I'm Tristan Tate.
01:37:17.000 Oh, Jesus.
01:37:19.000 They sent us to jail.
01:37:21.000 Woo!
01:37:23.000 Noodles in a cup!
01:37:48.000 I eat them in my cell.
01:37:53.000 Noodles in a cup.
01:37:56.000 Goes down very well.
01:37:58.000 Is this going to melt the cup?
01:38:02.000 Noodles in a cup!
01:38:04.000 This bottle's fuckin' hot.
01:38:11.000 Thanks for watching!
01:38:13.000 Please like and subscribe!
01:38:15.000 Bye.
01:38:20.000 This is going to melt the cup.
01:38:25.000 It's gonna melt the cup unless you stain noodles in a cup.
01:38:28.000 Noodles in a cup!
01:38:32.000 You can double up the cups, bro.
01:38:35.000 Then when the first cup melts into plastic-y goodness, we can just ingest the plastic toxins.
01:38:38.000 We have paper cups for tea.
01:38:40.000 We ingest the plastic toxins to add to our powers and become men of cybernetic organisms.
01:38:50.000 The whole cup's... the cup's collapsing!
01:38:53.000 We're gonna destroy ourselves.
01:38:55.000 The cup is melting.
01:38:56.000 I told you it would.
01:38:58.000 Shit.
01:39:02.000 Fuck.
01:39:03.000 Why don't we have bowls?
01:39:04.000 In jail we had a bowl.
01:39:05.000 I know, but we forgot one.
01:39:08.000 There's a bowl here.
01:39:12.000 because they've got tea bags in it. But this bowl wouldn't be allowed in there because it's made out of something you can break and kill with.
01:39:20.000 I'll use the bowl first.
01:39:28.000 Ah, bowl hog, eh?
01:39:29.000 Yeah.
01:39:30.000 Always had you down as a bowl hog.
01:39:33.000 Never had you down as much else, to be honest.
01:39:35.000 All these years I've known ya.
01:39:37.000 As the only man who could competently do or about a year.
01:39:39.000 I knew there was something suspicious about you all these years.
01:39:41.000 Didn't know it was because you were a fucking bowl hog.
01:39:43.000 I'm a music CD copying bowl hogger.
01:39:46.000 That's right.
01:39:46.000 You're a music CD copying bowl hogger.
01:39:48.000 You owe Bewitched ten pounds.
01:39:50.000 Can someone let the internet know that Tristan owes Bewitched ten pounds?
01:39:57.000 Wait till that goes viral and you're fucked, mate.
01:40:00.000 I can't wait till those three old Irish ladies kick the living fuck out of you.
01:40:03.000 That's what you deserve.
01:40:04.000 It's not.
01:40:05.000 It is.
01:40:06.000 I'm not a bad person.
01:40:07.000 You are a bad person.
01:40:08.000 I can't wait to get the shit kicked out of you.
01:40:09.000 They're not going to get the shit out of me.
01:40:10.000 Noodles in a cup!
01:40:12.000 I think they're going to forgive me.
01:40:14.000 When they find out what I've done.
01:40:15.000 I don't think they're going to forgive you.
01:40:17.000 When they find out all that I've done.
01:40:18.000 They're never going to forgive you.
01:40:20.000 I don't think they're ever going to forgive you for what you did.
01:40:23.000 I don't think they will.
01:40:24.000 I don't think they will.
01:40:26.000 Letting me understand how young and stupid living a life of crime is.
01:40:29.000 Everyone makes mistakes.
01:40:34.000 It is so fucking hot in here.
01:40:35.000 I realized something.
01:40:45.000 The other day when we sentenced Rory to two and a half hours in jail and made him stay in here, technically have we actually human trafficked someone now?
01:40:52.000 Thanks Joe.
01:40:54.000 Decaux.
01:40:56.000 Noodles in a cup.
01:40:58.000 Tastes of frozen tea.
01:41:02.000 Noodles in a cup.
01:41:04.000 Tastes of frozen tea.
01:41:06.000 You can't make noodles in a cup because the cup melts.
01:41:17.000 You can't.
01:41:18.000 Because you're not man enough.
01:41:20.000 I'm going to double my cups up.
01:41:23.000 You're just going to melt the cup around the other cup.
01:41:25.000 I don't live in fucking fear like some USS Spectrum Jupiter piece of shit.
01:41:31.000 With his ol' fuckin' first mate.
01:41:35.000 Happy Homo.
01:41:38.000 You're definitely gonna ruin the cups.
01:41:40.000 Oh no, don't ruin the plastic cups.
01:41:41.000 What are we gonna do?
01:41:42.000 You should've asked the prison guards to bring out a bowl.
01:41:44.000 We're allowed bowls.
01:41:45.000 We had bowls in jail.
01:41:46.000 It was an oversight by those who sent them.
01:41:48.000 Then I have to make a whole new song.
01:41:50.000 You think I have time to just invent these songs off the top of my head with all the fuckin' brilliance that goes into them?
01:41:55.000 Prison guards, please bring us a bowl.
01:41:56.000 We're allowed bowls.
01:41:58.000 It was a oversight.
01:42:00.000 Noodles in a cup!
01:42:03.000 Stop doing that.
01:42:03.000 You're not going to successfully make noodles out of that.
01:42:05.000 They don't go in a bowl!
01:42:07.000 No bowl.
01:42:08.000 Noodle- See?
01:42:09.000 No bowl.
01:42:10.000 Prison guard said.
01:42:11.000 Noodles in a cup!
01:42:16.000 Never gets old.
01:42:17.000 Don't go in a bowl.
01:42:18.000 Or I was in a bowl.
01:42:19.000 Bowl old.
01:42:20.000 Soul.
01:42:21.000 Noodles in a cup.
01:42:23.000 Good for your soul.
01:42:23.000 Noodles in a cup.
01:42:24.000 Never in a bowl.
01:42:25.000 Noodles in a cup.
01:42:26.000 Tristan can get fucked.
01:42:29.000 Fucked kind of rhymes with cup.
01:42:31.000 Noodles in a cup!
01:42:31.000 Don't eat them from a bowl!
01:42:34.000 Noodles in a cup!
01:42:35.000 You are so jealous.
01:42:35.000 I've said noodles in a cup too many times.
01:42:37.000 I have to work on it, but we're gonna get there.
01:42:39.000 We're not.
01:42:40.000 We are.
01:42:41.000 It's gonna be the new intro to emergency meetings.
01:42:42.000 Noodles in a cup.
01:42:44.000 Noodles in a cup.
01:42:46.000 Every foot of the soul.
01:42:49.000 Noodles in a cup.
01:42:50.000 Don't eat them from a bowl.
01:42:52.000 Noodles in the cup.
01:42:54.000 You are so jealous.
01:42:59.000 You're a monumental failure in all aspects of your life.
01:43:02.000 You can't fold a paper crane.
01:43:04.000 You're in jail, mate.
01:43:06.000 You can't give anyone life advice.
01:43:07.000 You're in jail.
01:43:08.000 At least I'm eating noodles from a cup like I fucking promised myself.
01:43:11.000 At least I don't go back on my own word.
01:43:13.000 Like a fucking coward.
01:43:14.000 I'm a man of my word.
01:43:16.000 What the fuck have you ever achieved?
01:43:18.000 You little bull.
01:43:20.000 Fucking girl.
01:43:20.000 We didn't put on a tutu, princess.
01:43:25.000 Enough of you and your shit.
01:43:27.000 We actually stay in here 24 hours.
01:43:39.000 Bye.
01:43:41.000 Bro, we're staying in here 92 days.
01:43:43.000 We're not.
01:43:45.000 Noodles in a cup.
01:43:48.000 I wonder what they want.
01:43:49.000 I mean, you're a bit jealous.
01:43:50.000 Just a tiny 1%, tiny.
01:43:52.000 Be honest.
01:43:53.000 Be honest with yourself.
01:43:54.000 Be honest with God.
01:43:56.000 Everyone's watching.
01:43:57.000 Your ancestors are watching you.
01:43:59.000 Now is your chance to be honest to your ancestors and admit that a part of you, no matter how small, is a little bit jealous of what I've achieved.
01:44:08.000 I'm angry that I didn't pull it off.
01:44:10.000 Of course.
01:44:10.000 Of course you fucking are.
01:44:11.000 That was your chance to be a somebody.
01:44:13.000 You could have been a someone.
01:44:14.000 You could have mattered.
01:44:16.000 Your name could have been worth something.
01:44:18.000 They said you fucked it all up for what, a bowl?
01:44:22.000 Cunt.
01:44:26.000 I wonder what people expected from watching this livestream.
01:44:29.000 I don't- I think they expected us to basically be streaming, talking to them and- This is jail.
01:44:34.000 This is all we did in jail.
01:44:36.000 The authentic jail experience.
01:44:38.000 You have to turn your brain off and become a retard, otherwise you can't survive.
01:44:42.000 It's a very low input environment, so you need to make sure that your brainwaves operate at the lowest possible frequency.
01:44:48.000 And sing stupid songs.
01:44:50.000 So you can get maximum entertainment.
01:44:52.000 From nothing.
01:44:53.000 You can get maximum entertainment from nothing.
01:44:55.000 I feel very happy.
01:44:57.000 I'd actually say, I won't say it right now.
01:45:00.000 I feel very happy deep inside.
01:45:02.000 You know, in the outside world, I need a beautiful girl, a sports car, Cigar, millions of dollars, nice suit, etc to feel happy.
01:45:10.000 But now I feel deeply happy inside with noodles in a cup because you failed.
01:45:15.000 I feel great!
01:45:18.000 Watching you fail so monumentally, like the piece of shit you are.
01:45:24.000 Princess Bowl Boy.
01:45:26.000 Watching you be Princess Bowl Boy while I succeed.
01:45:31.000 Beautiful.
01:45:33.000 You made a pot noodle.
01:45:35.000 I've done something you could not do.
01:45:38.000 Because I'm a winner.
01:45:40.000 And what's the opposite of a winner, Tristan?
01:45:42.000 A loser.
01:45:50.000 Thank you.
01:45:52.000 Don't mind if I do.
01:45:54.000 You drink it from a bowl.
01:45:55.000 Loser.
01:45:58.000 You're never going to financially recover from this.
01:46:04.000 I guess all the super chat money is going to take pledge.
01:46:06.000 I bet no one's watching us.
01:46:15.000 I bet we're doing this for no reason.
01:46:17.000 Something about the cup gives me flavor. I don't think that's true. I think you made that up. A clear plastic cup does not have flavor. It does because when the plastic melts, all the fumes and chemicals get into the noodles. That's why I'm the bionic man. I'm your little princess bowl boy.
01:46:44.000 Captain plastic.
01:46:50.000 I'm a bionic human now.
01:46:51.000 I'm a cybernetic organism, and you're a princess.
01:46:54.000 That's because of how you made your noodles.
01:46:57.000 What do you have to say about that?
01:46:57.000 I don't give a shit.
01:47:00.000 Bet you do.
01:47:01.000 Deep down, in your heart, in your soul.
01:47:02.000 I think you're just trying to deflect, because you're deeply insecure about the origami incident.
01:47:09.000 You're trying to claim some victory with your little cup, because you couldn't fold a piece of paper in half.
01:47:16.000 I folded a cup around my noodles and absorbed the chemicals.
01:47:20.000 You can't do that, princess.
01:47:21.000 Yes.
01:47:22.000 You can't do that.
01:48:18.000 You've been the subject of a Truman Show style experiment where we create the biggest loser on earth.
01:48:23.000 And you have passed the test flawlessly.
01:48:25.000 The final test, the chance you redeem yourself, was for you to make noodles in a fucking cup.
01:48:30.000 How hard can it be to make noodles in a fucking cup?
01:48:32.000 You just put noodles in a cup, put water in a fucking cup, and you fucked it up.
01:48:35.000 A pussy that became Princess Bow Boy.
01:48:37.000 And the whole fucking world knows it.
01:48:39.000 Nobody's gonna ever forget, when they see you on the street, it's what they're gonna call you.
01:48:43.000 Hey Tristan, you ever been to fucking Jupiter?
01:48:45.000 Do you have a bow?
01:48:46.000 You're never gonna live this down, ever.
01:48:48.000 For the rest of your life, until you finally fucking kill yourself.
01:48:50.000 More ducks on the farm in the forest.
01:48:55.000 A hunter comes in.
01:48:56.000 And he's eating in a cup.
01:49:04.000 It's the simple pleasures in life.
01:49:10.000 Simple pleasures in life.
01:49:12.000 I'll make you a cup of tea because I am your friend.
01:49:21.000 You want to redeem yourself for the bowl incident?
01:49:26.000 I'll make you one. Would you like one? Here you go, man.
01:49:29.000 Here's a nice cup of tea.
01:49:30.000 There's no trick. I'll make you a cup of tea because I am your friend.
01:49:35.000 You want to redeem yourself for the bowl incident, huh?
01:49:38.000 No, no. No, I think you're retarded and you're losing your mind.
01:49:43.000 In jail.
01:49:43.000 You've lost your mind.
01:49:44.000 Remember when we used to open the Quran to a random verse and find joy and truth?
01:49:53.000 Yeah, we do that again.
01:49:54.000 The random verse.
01:49:55.000 But you'd only do it once a day, because you didn't want to... didn't know how long we'd be in there.
01:50:00.000 Didn't want to use all the verses.
01:50:02.000 Thought we might be in there forever.
01:50:04.000 He said, I put the Quran on a random page and it was always something inspiring.
01:50:08.000 Noodles on a cotton ball.
01:50:16.000 He said, I put the Quran on a random page and it was always something inspiring.
01:50:27.000 Nice cup of tea.
01:50:29.000 Ah.
01:50:31.000 Ah.
01:50:33.000 Some water.
01:50:35.000 Remember the time you fucked up the shop and you didn't order enough water but we got loads of hot sauce instead?
01:50:45.000 Hot sauce is not more important than water.
01:50:50.000 It is.
01:50:50.000 I don't think it is, I think you made that up.
01:50:56.000 Where do I think I am?
01:50:56.000 I almost opened a new pack of cigarettes but I've got a half-smoked cigarette here.
01:50:59.000 Remember the blue bin bags?
01:51:03.000 That pissed me off.
01:51:05.000 You actually have mental problems.
01:51:07.000 I think you have depression.
01:51:14.000 I think you have depression.
01:51:16.000 Bye.
01:51:19.000 Are you listening?
01:51:20.000 Ah, ramen noodles, slightly crunchy.
01:51:28.000 From a cup.
01:51:36.000 To each his own, mate.
01:51:37.000 I'm not gonna stick by your bowl decision.
01:51:40.000 You say potato, I say potahto.
01:51:46.000 Let's call the whole thing off.
01:51:47.000 It's going to be a massacre.
01:51:51.000 What other legal things have I actually done?
01:51:53.000 I'll confess my crimes to the internet.
01:51:55.000 No, Tristan.
01:51:55.000 It's going to be a massacre.
01:51:57.000 Those three old Irish ladies are going to beat the shit out of you.
01:51:59.000 They're not.
01:52:00.000 You don't stand a chance.
01:52:03.000 You don't stand a fucking chance.
01:52:05.000 Why did I copy that CD?
01:52:06.000 It was on the floor.
01:52:09.000 Stop!
01:52:10.000 Stop!
01:52:11.000 They'll be doing Irish dancing.
01:52:13.000 Riverdance.
01:52:13.000 You know, I'll be saying.
01:52:15.000 Uh-oh!
01:52:16.000 Because you're going to beat up so bad?
01:52:18.000 Like, uh-oh?
01:52:20.000 I get it.
01:52:21.000 And then the Irish dance on your head.
01:52:25.000 Can you admit that the Sugar Babes beat you up?
01:52:28.000 Can you admit that Girls Aloud beat you up?
01:52:35.000 Can you admit that you got beaten up by Eunice Churchill?
01:52:49.000 Bob Ross.
01:52:49.000 I think that baby spice beat you up. Who would have thought you were Bob Ross? Bob Ross was a G.
01:53:01.000 What do you call a man with no friends who eats his noodles out of a bowl?
01:53:23.000 Tristan.
01:53:26.000 What do you call the biggest loser in jail?
01:53:49.000 What do you call a man who put ash on his t-shirt and burned himself while laying in jail smoking a cigarette?
01:53:57.000 What do you call a man who has a gun and is a bad liar?
01:54:03.000 What?
01:54:05.000 Ah, the plastic chemicals are starting to kill you.
01:54:09.000 From your noodles in a cup fiasco.
01:54:11.000 I do feel a bit sick in my stomach from eating the plastic-y noodles.
01:54:14.000 I'm not gonna lie.
01:54:15.000 Good.
01:54:16.000 I think the plastic melted the cup, the boiling water melted the cup, and all the plasticky noodles I ingested are now back to punish me.
01:54:25.000 So you failed in life.
01:54:28.000 I do feel awful.
01:54:29.000 Are spoonfuls of coffee and then plastic fumes, or plastic chemicals, is that bad for you?
01:54:35.000 It's a good jail diet, mate.
01:54:39.000 Maintains you.
01:54:41.000 During the long, cold nights of jail.
01:54:43.000 Does it?
01:54:45.000 I remember I had a cough for two months when I first got to jail because it was freezing cold.
01:54:52.000 and I try not to cough in court and fail.
01:54:54.000 Going to sleep.
01:55:02.000 Court in the morning.
01:55:03.000 They might release us.
01:55:08.000 Goodnight, loser.
01:55:11.000 Can't turn the lights off, just like real jail.
01:55:15.000 There was a system where we could put a t-shirt in front of the lightbulb.
01:55:20.000 That kind of worked.
01:55:22.000 Oh, man.
01:55:23.000 You're not fucking smart.
01:55:24.000 Not here.
01:55:25.000 Yeah, you put a light, you can do it there.
01:55:26.000 Fuck you.
01:55:31.000 As the biggest winner in this jail cell and the origami black belt champion of the world, I want to tell you that you are a shit person.
01:55:39.000 Agreed.
01:55:40.000 Everything about you Andrew, I might stop talking to you because I think you're a misogynist, and I think that you shouldn't be telling young men to go to the gym because it's dangerous, and it comes with a side of misogyny.
01:55:49.000 Shit.
01:55:51.000 Forget eating a cigar.
01:55:52.000 Fuck!
01:55:53.000 Misogynist.
01:55:54.000 You worked it out!
01:55:55.000 Journalistic genius!
01:55:58.000 I have a nice car and I smoke a cigar!
01:56:00.000 Worst man in the world!
01:56:01.000 Yeah.
01:56:02.000 Thanks!
01:56:02.000 Yeah.
01:56:04.000 Comes with a side of misogyny.
01:56:05.000 That comes with a side of misogyny.
01:56:06.000 Thanks, lesbian.
01:56:07.000 Did you see that policewoman?
01:56:12.000 Who got called a lesbian by a 16-year-old autistic girl and they bundled her with eight police officers and manhandled her into the back of a car.
01:56:18.000 Failed society, bro.
01:56:20.000 Failed society.
01:56:25.000 Why are you in jail?
01:56:26.000 Because I said a policewoman looks like a lesbian.
01:56:32.000 Here's what I think they should do.
01:56:33.000 Ask her if she actually is.
01:56:35.000 Because if she is one, then fuck off.
01:56:37.000 You know what I mean?
01:56:41.000 You've been told I look like a man.
01:56:42.000 Neil deGrasse Tyson would disagree.
01:56:47.000 Could you do 10 star jumps?
01:56:52.000 If I wanted to, yeah.
01:56:54.000 Go on then.
01:56:54.000 No.
01:56:55.000 I can't.
01:56:57.000 Why'd you say you could if you can't?
01:56:58.000 Because I can't.
01:56:59.000 I don't have any legs.
01:57:00.000 I don't have any legs either.
01:57:02.000 I don't even have a face.
01:57:03.000 My legs are fake and they always have been.
01:57:06.000 That's why I'm 6'4", because I got to choose my own prosthetic leg size.
01:57:11.000 You know?
01:57:12.000 My arms are fake.
01:57:14.000 My brain doesn't exist.
01:57:18.000 My real brain was taken out when I was three years old and replaced with Jell-O.
01:57:21.000 Is that why you're such a funny fellow?
01:57:28.000 It's why you're Jell.
01:57:32.000 Is that why you can play the cello?
01:57:36.000 It's why your voice is loud as a loud bellow.
01:57:39.000 Is that why we're in a cello?
01:57:43.000 Is that why you say hello?
01:57:46.000 Why have we put ourselves in jail?
01:57:52.000 What rhymes with chair?
01:57:54.000 Hair?
01:57:54.000 Wrong!
01:57:56.000 Typical answer from a loser.
01:57:57.000 Wrong.
01:57:59.000 What rhymes with bed?
01:58:02.000 Nothing.
01:58:03.000 wrong. What rhymes with jail?
01:58:11.000 I don't know.
01:58:17.000 Have you ever been to Planet?
01:58:18.000 Planet Fitness.
01:58:26.000 Obviously not.
01:58:29.000 Can you admit that your favorite food is Chuck E. Cheese Pizza?
01:58:35.000 Well, if you were an animal, what animal would you be?
01:58:44.000 Thank you.
01:58:45.000 Bye.
01:58:47.000 I think you'd be a worm.
01:58:49.000 Why?
01:58:49.000 Because you're pathetic.
01:58:52.000 You're contemptible.
01:58:55.000 You're worm-like.
01:58:58.000 If you were an animal, I think you'd be a chicken.
01:59:04.000 Why?
01:59:04.000 Because you're a chicken.
01:59:06.000 Because you're scared of everything.
01:59:15.000 Why is everyone crying in jail?
01:59:16.000 Thank you.
01:59:17.000 Because it's depressing.
01:59:19.000 I didn't cry in jail.
01:59:23.000 Frankly, I quite enjoyed jail.
01:59:28.000 What did you enjoy about it?
01:59:30.000 Cigarettes.
01:59:32.000 Noodles in a bowl.
01:59:34.000 Noodles in a bowl?! !
01:59:35.000 Dumb cunt.
01:59:36.000 Andrew, in jail we ate noodles from bowls.
01:59:39.000 But things have changed.
01:59:40.000 Now noodles go in cups.
01:59:42.000 No they don't.
01:59:43.000 They do.
01:59:43.000 I don't feel like that's something... Then how the fuck is there a song about it if it's not real?
01:59:50.000 I don't feel like that's the consensus of the earth.
01:59:52.000 I think that's something you just made up.
01:59:54.000 And I'm never gonna eat again.
02:00:02.000 Plastic noodles have no taste.
02:00:07.000 It's not easy to pretend.
02:00:10.000 Tristan is a fool.
02:00:14.000 Should've known better than to call a friend.
02:00:18.000 Cause he can't make noodles in a cup.
02:00:22.000 My song doesn't have to rhyme.
02:00:24.000 Because you are a dork.
02:00:26.000 Dork! I feel like we brought the word dork back.
02:00:35.000 Thank you.
02:00:37.000 From now on I sing songs at you that don't rhyme.
02:00:40.000 From now on I speak only in beeps.
02:00:48.000 How will I understand you?
02:00:49.000 Beep beep beep beep.
02:00:53.000 Beep beep beep beep beep.
02:00:57.000 beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep
02:01:21.000 beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep beep I said I want to go to Italy and drive my supercar around the Almaty coast.
02:01:32.000 You didn't understand me though, did you?
02:01:33.000 Because you're a fucking idiot.
02:01:36.000 For now I talk only in yawns.
02:01:38.000 I've got a really good business idea.
02:01:50.000 Are you listening?
02:01:53.000 I've got a business idea where I can make millions.
02:02:01.000 You listening?
02:02:04.000 What I do is I take out insurance against you.
02:02:08.000 And then I push you off of a bridge.
02:02:14.000 Did you hear me?
02:02:16.000 I could become rich beyond my wildest dreams.
02:02:21.000 How high is the bridge?
02:02:23.000 Six feet, but you're weak.
02:02:25.000 so you die.
02:02:26.000 In Unimitha my hands are made of solid gold.
02:02:40.000 I am a warrior.
02:02:46.000 Thank you.
02:02:47.000 Why is a fireman called a fireman?
02:02:50.000 Because he puts out fires.
02:02:52.000 So why are police not called crime men?
02:02:54.000 Why are doctors not called sick men?
02:03:04.000 Why are ice cream men not called ice cream men?
02:03:07.000 A man is dying in his bed, and his two sons are by his side.
02:03:24.000 And the man says, I leave all of my wealth to whichever one of my sons has the slowest horse.
02:03:33.000 They race horses a hundred times, but no man wants to win the race, so their horses just stand there.
02:03:41.000 They go and consult a wise man in the village.
02:03:47.000 about how to deal with this threat, how to deal with this situation.
02:03:51.000 And on their way home, they're both riding as fast as they can.
02:03:56.000 What advice did the wise man give them?
02:03:59.000 Make your noodles in a cup.
02:04:03.000 This blanket is soundproof and I no longer hear you.
02:04:10.000 And I'm never going to...
02:04:17.000 NO!
02:04:18.000 PLEASE!
02:04:19.000 NO!
02:04:19.000 SHUT UP!
02:04:20.000 GO!
02:04:21.000 NO!
02:04:21.000 SHUT UP!
02:04:22.000 NO!
02:04:23.000 PLEASE!
02:04:24.000 PLEASE!
02:04:25.000 10 out of 10 for accuracy.
02:04:28.000 Sounds about right.
02:04:29.000 Someone's getting their ass kicked.
02:04:30.000 Yeah, that did happen quite often in jail.
02:04:33.000 Remember when you got your ass kicked?
02:04:34.000 I wonder what he's getting his ass kicked for.
02:04:39.000 Refusing to listen.
02:04:42.000 That's the thing about jail, people are always getting their ass kicked, but I don't understand the point of fighting the guards, because you're not going to get out of jail, so you just get your ass kicked and stay in jail.
02:04:49.000 Yeah.
02:04:50.000 The guards did beat people up.
02:04:52.000 Within the legal ramifications of what they're allowed to, I imagine.
02:04:56.000 But people did try to fight the guards, yeah.
02:04:59.000 Why?
02:05:00.000 I don't know.
02:05:01.000 Fun?
02:05:02.000 Imagine you're never getting out.
02:05:08.000 Is that what you're going to sound like when Bewitched beat the living fuck out of you?
02:05:14.000 And I'm never going to jail again.
02:05:18.000 Tristan makes noodles in a bowl.
02:05:22.000 And he has only got one friend who thinks gender's a spectrum.
02:05:29.000 They're right around the solar system in a shit.
02:05:33.000 He goes to Venus, he has no penis.
02:05:37.000 This is gonna become a viral hit.
02:05:40.000 I'll produce it for YouTube.
02:05:48.000 YouTube!
02:05:50.000 YouTube's shit.
02:05:51.000 Say rumble.
02:05:54.000 Don't interrupt my **** **** off!
02:05:58.000 Sick of this jail cell.
02:06:01.000 Sick of this jail cell, sick of you.
02:06:06.000 Old McJail had a farm, E-I-E-I-O.
02:06:11.000 And in that jail was Tristan Tate, E-I-E-I-O.
02:06:15.000 With a bowl, bowl here and a bowl, bowl there.
02:06:19.000 Bowl here, bowl there.
02:06:20.000 Scare of noodles in a cup.
02:06:22.000 Old McJail had a farm.
02:06:25.000 Tristan is a nerd.
02:06:31.000 I'm replacing my brain with jello.
02:06:36.000 Did you hear me?
02:06:40.000 I'd give my all to have my noodles in a cup.
02:06:48.000 I'd give my life to feel the plastic in my food.
02:06:56.000 And I can't go on living in Eating my noodles from a bowl, while I dip my own noodles in a cup.
02:07:11.000 Four noodles in a cup.
02:07:17.000 I'm gonna make another fucking noodles in a cup right now in your fucking face!
02:07:21.000 I don't care what you do.
02:07:21.000 You won't do a fucking thing about it!
02:07:23.000 I don't care what you do.
02:07:24.000 I dare you!
02:07:24.000 I'm gonna see if it smokes.
02:07:25.000 Cops!
02:07:26.000 I don't care what you do.
02:07:27.000 You're uninteresting and unfunny.
02:07:29.000 Try me!
02:07:31.000 I've had enough of you and your bullshit in this jail.
02:07:35.000 I don't even want to hear it.
02:07:36.000 Do something about it, we can both die tonight.
02:07:40.000 Throw a melon hose in all the cops.
02:07:42.000 See you in jail everyone.
02:08:01.000 It doesn't mean every house you buy, any time in the future, anywhere, has to have a jail room.
02:08:05.000 Is that the case?
02:08:10.000 I bet no one's watching you.
02:08:22.000 You're basically uninteresting.
02:08:25.000 And Russia With Love is the best book ever written.
02:08:33.000 And I...
02:08:41.000 I have news in a car.
02:08:46.000 Woo-hoo!
02:08:47.000 You are such a fucking monumental loser.
02:08:58.000 I don't know how you fucking sleep at night.
02:09:03.000 Probably on your little spaceship.
02:09:04.000 You got a nice little comfy bed on your little princess spaceship with your bowls.
02:09:08.000 You and Neil.
02:09:10.000 Well, got a nice little comfy bed.
02:09:12.000 You got a little blankie.
02:09:13.000 Dickhead.
02:09:16.000 Blankets are a spectrum.
02:09:18.000 Fuck you.
02:09:20.000 And your crew.
02:09:21.000 Who's on your crew?
02:09:21.000 you Neil deGrasse Tyson. F*****g... M*****! All your mates.
02:09:34.000 Tristan's shit.
02:09:36.000 Your friends are not shit.
02:09:38.000 Your friends are not shit.
02:09:39.000 You invited him to the house.
02:09:44.000 You invited him to this house.
02:09:46.000 That means he is your friend.
02:09:47.000 He was your guest, he's your mate. I don't know him.
02:09:51.000 I hope he knows that his new documentary is going to be...
02:09:59.000 it's going to completely fail.
02:10:00.000 Who the fuck's going to watch his new documentary?
02:10:02.000 Fuck you!
02:10:03.000 Matt Shea and the BBC.
02:10:04.000 What, the Batty Boy Corporation?
02:10:09.000 And now... You say you want me... Well just to prove you do... You need to make noodles in a cup... Nah, you shouldn't have done that.
02:10:24.000 It should have been...
02:10:25.000 So why don't you make me some noodle?
02:10:29.000 Make me some noodle.
02:10:32.000 Yeah, then comes the end.
02:10:33.000 See, it's complicated, these songs.
02:10:34.000 So much is easy.
02:10:35.000 You can't just start making them off the top of your head and just singing random shit.
02:10:41.000 I thought I felt bad from the plastic he fumes, but really I was becoming a cybernetic organism.
02:10:46.000 And now that my stomach feels a little bit better, I need more plastic to become more cybernetic.
02:10:51.000 So that I, when the machines come, I'll be the only one who can fight against them, because I'll be half machine, half man.
02:10:57.000 Like a Terminator.
02:11:01.000 Do you understand?
02:11:02.000 Did you hear me sneeze?
02:11:03.000 You didn't say bless you.
02:11:04.000 I guarantee the bowl has not made you a cybernetic organ.
02:11:06.000 You didn't say bless you when I sneezed.
02:11:11.000 How dare you.
02:11:15.000 How dare you not say bless you when I sneezed?
02:11:17.000 Mmm. Fantastic. I can hear they're crunchy.
02:11:26.000 I can hear the crunch.
02:11:27.000 So can everyone watching.
02:11:32.000 I'm a ramen king.
02:11:34.000 I'm going to give you a chance to win.
02:12:08.000 When I get out of jail, I'm gonna buy an Aston Martin DB6.
02:12:11.000 I'm gonna drive around Florence, Italy in my DB6.
02:12:16.000 When I get out of jail, I'm gonna go back to jail.
02:12:19.000 Well that's what we fucking did, isn't it?
02:12:21.000 When I get out of jail, I'm going to go to Switzerland and buy an obnoxiously large diamond for no reason.
02:12:36.000 When I get out of jail, I'm feeling my bones become Terminator.
02:12:51.000 The real plot twist is that if I don't eat these noodles and become a cybernetic organism, I'm not going to be able to stop USS Spectrum when it tries to attack the Flat Earth.
02:13:00.000 The plot's unfolding.
02:13:02.000 Since the beginning of this jail stint, we've learned that the Earth is flat, that you're going to be on the USS Spectrum and be able to grasp Tyson and go to Venus because you have no penis, and you're eventually going to attack the flat Earth, and it's going to take a cybernetic organism to defeat you, which is me, because I had noodles from a cup, and you can't beat me because you don't have the powers because you ate your noodles from a bowl!
02:13:21.000 Do not make that TV show.
02:13:22.000 Oh, I'm going to make it, baby.
02:13:23.000 We're going to make it.
02:13:25.000 We're going to animate all of it.
02:13:29.000 I travelled through time once.
02:13:33.000 Did you know that there's a time portal hidden in Bucharest?
02:13:37.000 Where you can go into it, hear me out, and just pass long periods of time and teleport yourself into the future as the same person, but older.
02:13:50.000 Look at this thing.
02:13:52.000 It's called jail.
02:13:53.000 You go in there, okay, and you're 34 years old.
02:13:58.000 And you pass through time while inside jail using your Aikido.
02:14:03.000 You can open up the time portal.
02:14:05.000 And for every day you spend in jail, listen, you can come out later, but one day older than you were before.
02:14:16.000 Good system, innit?
02:14:19.000 Are you listening?
02:14:21.000 I passed 92 delightful days doing that.
02:14:27.000 I didn't have 92 days of my life stolen from me, away from my children and my family.
02:14:31.000 Now that didn't happen.
02:14:32.000 I was voluntarily meditating for 90- by 92 days.
02:14:39.000 So when I came out, I was older.
02:14:45.000 You know, like when you put whiskey in a barrel and you age it, yeah?
02:14:48.000 And you take the whiskey out and it's older.
02:14:51.000 That's what happens when I go to jail.
02:14:57.000 Oh, Mr. Big Talk can't finish his noodles.
02:15:01.000 My stomach has to adjust to plastic.
02:15:03.000 How are you ever going to become a silicone-based life form with a computer brain powered by silicone chips if you don't ingest enough plastic?
02:15:12.000 I am.
02:15:13.000 I just have to do it slowly because my weak biological form cannot control, cannot handle all the chemicals at once, so I have to do it slowly as I transform into a cybernetic organism.
02:15:23.000 You know what I think?
02:15:26.000 I think that I am not human at all.
02:15:31.000 I think that I am a bird.
02:15:38.000 Matrix tech.
02:15:42.000 Why are you a bird?
02:15:44.000 I just think I might be a bird, you know?
02:15:45.000 I feel like species is on a spectrum.
02:15:49.000 And last time I checked, I read somewhere, somewhere, that in this country we have the pursuit of happiness.
02:15:55.000 Why?
02:15:56.000 Is it so important that you don't accept me seeing species on a spectrum?
02:16:08.000 Well, sorry, I'm a fucking bird.
02:16:12.000 Get with the program.
02:16:13.000 I'm a fly.
02:16:15.000 You might be a fly.
02:16:17.000 I'm a fly with the body of a human, but I'm a really special unique case because I also have the head of a human.
02:16:26.000 That's interesting.
02:16:31.000 I've got a car outside, right?
02:16:33.000 It's a Bugatti, right?
02:16:35.000 With the body of a Lada and the engine and the wheels of a Lada.
02:16:42.000 But it was a Bugatti originally.
02:16:44.000 I just changed the parts.
02:16:46.000 Smart.
02:16:48.000 Super smart.
02:16:49.000 So it's a Bugatti.
02:16:50.000 No one can say it isn't.
02:16:51.000 But it's just got the body of a Lada.
02:16:53.000 Oh, for fuck's sake.
02:16:59.000 He got ya.
02:17:00.000 No way.
02:17:01.000 You got ya.
02:17:03.000 This was the song that I was listening to at New Year's Eve.
02:17:06.000 Bro, at New Year's Eve.
02:17:09.000 As the clock struck twelve.
02:17:10.000 I was in the part of the jail I didn't hear it.
02:17:16.000 This was the most depressing moment of my life.
02:17:18.000 This was my exact New Year's Eve, right?
02:17:24.000 We didn't even have any cigarettes yet on New Year's Eve.
02:17:27.000 They got ya.
02:17:36.000 We didn't even have any cigarettes yet on New Year's Eve.
02:17:40.000 Thank you.
02:17:41.000 Happy New Year, Andrew.
02:17:43.000 Happy New Year.
02:17:45.000 That was the most depressing New Year's Eve ever.
02:17:47.000 It was that song playing down the hall.
02:17:49.000 Whoa, what do you mean?
02:17:50.000 It's perfectly fine to look as a Jew.
02:17:52.000 That was the worst New Year's Eve I've ever seen.
02:17:54.000 Now I'm genuinely upset in my heart and soul.
02:17:58.000 I'm telling you, I'm sad. I need more plastic. I need more chemicals.
02:18:01.000 Maybe you should kill yourself.
02:18:01.000 I can't kill myself. I'm a cybernetic organism. I can't let myself terminate.
02:18:05.000 But in jail, to make it authentic, because you know people try to kill themselves in jail, one of us should attempt suicide.
02:18:12.000 I can't let myself terminate.
02:18:16.000 Yeah, I would never kill myself.
02:18:18.000 Just like Jeffrey Epstein.
02:18:21.000 I'm thinking of changing my name.
02:18:27.000 I'm thinking of changing my name.
02:18:29.000 Fernand Mondego.
02:18:41.000 Thank you.
02:18:42.000 I think that's a good name.
02:18:43.000 Are you listening?
02:18:47.000 No.
02:18:47.000 I'm deeply upset because I've just heard that song.
02:18:49.000 That song brings back the worst memories ever.
02:18:51.000 Good.
02:18:51.000 Why don't you cut yourself?
02:18:54.000 What should I cut myself with?
02:18:55.000 Dunno.
02:18:55.000 Take a piece of the bed, chain it, turn it into a shank.
02:18:59.000 What should I cut?
02:19:00.000 I'm gonna make a shank and stab you.
02:19:05.000 Fair enough.
02:19:07.000 We are in jail.
02:19:09.000 Can I make a shank out of this?
02:19:11.000 No, Tristan.
02:19:20.000 Thank you.
02:19:22.000 I said, ah hey, ah ha, ah hey.
02:19:24.000 Yes?
02:19:24.000 Yes? Well? I want to apologize to you.
02:19:37.000 Thank you.
02:19:38.000 For what?
02:19:40.000 I'm sorry for making fun of you.
02:19:41.000 For eating your noodles from a bowl.
02:19:43.000 Why?
02:19:43.000 Did you feel sick, man?
02:19:44.000 Nothing to do with it.
02:19:46.000 I'm also sorry for saying that you are going to get a spaceship, take Neil deGrasse Tyson as your second in command, travel the solar system on a bruiser tour, then visit Venus because you have no penis, then visit Jupiter because you're stupid.
02:19:55.000 I accept your apology.
02:19:57.000 I'm sorry for those things.
02:20:00.000 Sorry for everything I've ever done.
02:20:01.000 I feel reflected now that I've been tortured with that song.
02:20:04.000 I need to go back and repent for all the bad things I said.
02:20:07.000 I'm sorry that I once copied Bewitch's music CD.
02:20:10.000 I'm sorry that I told the world that... Not told the world.
02:20:13.000 I'm sorry that I told you that the entire world is fake, and it's just one big version of the Truman Show designed to watch you so that we can eventually determine the fact that you're a loser because you ate your noodles from a bowl after 35 years of observation.
02:20:25.000 I thought you made that up.
02:20:26.000 That didn't sound accurate.
02:20:27.000 I made it up.
02:20:27.000 I'm sorry.
02:20:28.000 I'll go apologize to you too, for a while.
02:20:36.000 Sorry for wasting your time with my fake duck story.
02:20:39.000 There was no joke there.
02:20:41.000 I'm sorry that I embarrassed you in front of the world by demonstrating your lack of origami prowess.
02:20:48.000 I am sorry that I landed us in this mess and got us in jail by copying the music CD of Be Witch when I was 14 years old.
02:20:56.000 21 years ago.
02:20:56.000 I'm sorry for that as well.
02:20:59.000 I'm also extremely sorry that You poisoned yourself with noodles from a plastic cup.
02:21:12.000 It was my idea to use those cups.
02:21:14.000 And if you die from plastic poisoning, I am responsible.
02:21:18.000 I'm sorry.
02:21:21.000 It's okay.
02:21:22.000 I'm sorry for this.
02:21:31.000 Thank you.
02:21:33.000 I am sorry.
02:21:37.000 I think I might be Japanese.
02:21:42.000 You know?
02:21:44.000 I think I might be Japanese.
02:21:52.000 I'm not sure.
02:21:54.000 Thank you.
02:21:58.000 There's a hero if you look inside yourself.
02:22:05.000 No, there isn't.
02:22:07.000 Our jail friends are still in jail, Andrew.
02:22:14.000 We're still in jail.
02:22:15.000 You're in jail.
02:22:16.000 How long has this been going on?
02:22:23.000 How long has jail been going on?
02:22:31.000 All your friends and their fancy persuasions will tell you to eat from a bowl.
02:22:39.000 But they're only lying, and you just do as you're told.
02:22:45.000 Noodles taste much better from a cup, no matter what they say.
02:22:51.000 And if it makes me eventually throw up, I'll do it again anyway.
02:23:00.000 How long has this been going on?
02:23:05.000 I'm going to sleep.
02:23:07.000 No sleeping until I make you go to bed.
02:23:10.000 I admit it.
02:23:11.000 Say it!
02:23:12.000 I admit that you have no head.
02:23:13.000 Gotcha.
02:23:15.000 Finally.
02:23:16.000 I gotcha because it was a trick, because I do have a head.
02:23:18.000 And you fell for it.
02:23:19.000 Shit.
02:23:20.000 Finally, you fucking dumbass.
02:23:22.000 Now everyone knows you're fucking stupid and gullible.
02:23:24.000 What next?
02:23:25.000 Vaccine?
02:23:28.000 How can you believe I have no head?
02:23:29.000 I clearly have a fucking head, you dumb cunt.
02:23:30.000 I'm getting vaccinated tomorrow.
02:23:33.000 I'm scared of COVID.
02:23:34.000 I want the vaccine.
02:23:35.000 I want the vaccine.
02:23:37.000 I knew it would make a throw up.
02:23:51.000 I need to lay back down and become more cybernetic, and I need some more...
02:23:58.000 Plasticy noodles. My weak biological form is resisting cybernetic transformation.
02:24:05.000 Ah, I must fight against it with my Aikido.
02:24:10.000 I'm the Count of Monte Cristo.
02:24:57.000 Tristan.
02:25:01.000 This is a voice inside your head.
02:25:03.000 Tristan.
02:25:09.000 Thank you.
02:25:13.000 This is your ancestor speaking from the spirit realm.
02:25:19.000 We're disappointed in you.
02:25:21.000 That was funny.
02:25:29.000 Oh, nothing.
02:25:29.000 The voices in my head tell me something.
02:25:31.000 What'd they tell you?
02:25:31.000 That my ancestors disappointed me.
02:25:35.000 Why would they tell you?
02:25:35.000 Why would your ancestors tell you that?
02:25:37.000 Dunno, because my brothers are losers.
02:25:39.000 Nah, they must be disappointed in you.
02:25:40.000 No, I think they're disappointed in me because of the way you turned out.
02:25:45.000 Interesting.
02:25:47.000 Admit that you're a skateboard.
02:25:52.000 That's it.
02:25:52.000 Admit you're a skateboard.
02:25:53.000 How could I possibly be a skateboard?
02:25:56.000 Skateboards have four wheels, yeah?
02:25:58.000 You have two hands and two feet.
02:26:03.000 Skateboards are for losers.
02:26:04.000 You are a loser.
02:26:05.000 Did you hear me?
02:26:15.000 Can you admit that you are a mattress?
02:26:20.000 Thanks.
02:26:21.000 Thank you.
02:26:22.000 Thank you.
02:26:23.000 Can you admit that if you were any food item in the world, you'd be a sandwich?
02:26:27.000 Why?
02:26:29.000 Because you're full of shit.
02:26:34.000 You'd be a shit sandwich.
02:26:39.000 Tristan.
02:26:40.000 I might stay in jail forever.
02:26:43.000 Tristan.
02:26:43.000 I might never leave.
02:26:46.000 Responsibilities, work, kids, family.
02:26:51.000 I might just set myself on fire.
02:26:53.000 Really?
02:26:53.000 Yeah.
02:26:53.000 Where'd you get that idea from?
02:26:54.000 I don't know.
02:26:55.000 Voices in my head.
02:26:56.000 Why would they want you to set yourself on fire?
02:26:58.000 Because I'm stupid and ugly.
02:26:59.000 You're stupid and ugly.
02:27:01.000 It just picks my brain.
02:27:02.000 Set yourself on fire.
02:27:04.000 The world will be a better place when you're gone.
02:27:07.000 I think the world would be a better place if I was gone, Andrew.
02:27:10.000 Don't say that.
02:27:11.000 That's a horrible thing to say.
02:27:15.000 The world wants you gone.
02:27:18.000 Nobody will miss you.
02:27:19.000 Andrew, this is the voice inside your head.
02:27:22.000 I'm going to sleep.
02:27:28.000 Good night.
02:27:29.000 Bye.
02:27:29.000 I'm always hearing voices.
02:27:31.000 Fuck off.
02:27:33.000 Tristan.
02:27:38.000 You belong in jail.
02:27:45.000 I'm a bird.
02:27:46.000 Tristan.
02:27:48.000 Everybody's waiting for you to set yourself on fire.
02:27:53.000 If you don't do it, you're going to disappoint millions of people.
02:27:56.000 Okay.
02:27:58.000 Tristan, don't disappoint the world.
02:28:02.000 We're waiting for you in the spirit world.
02:28:05.000 Mm-hmm.
02:28:05.000 Tristan, you have no friends.
02:28:15.000 Everyone talks about you behind your back.
02:28:21.000 There's very long, detailed conversations about how they hate you.
02:28:26.000 Nobody loves you, Tristan.
02:28:28.000 Yeah, I know.
02:28:28.000 It's cool.
02:28:30.000 It's fine.
02:28:32.000 It's fine.
02:28:32.000 What's fine?
02:28:33.000 What are you talking about?
02:28:35.000 Everything's fine.
02:28:36.000 Nobody loves me.
02:28:37.000 It's fine.
02:28:39.000 Why are you saying that?
02:28:40.000 Because it's just true.
02:28:41.000 How'd you find that out?
02:28:42.000 because I just realized it.
02:28:45.000 Tristan, don't tell Andrew what I'm telling you.
02:28:54.000 Thank you.
02:28:55.000 I Otherwise, he'll know that you can speak to the Ancestors.
02:29:01.000 Andrew, the Ancestors told me not to tell you I can speak to them.
02:29:04.000 Can you talk to them?
02:29:05.000 What do they say?
02:29:06.000 They say you're a loser.
02:29:09.000 Andrew is not a loser.
02:29:12.000 Ancestors are wrong.
02:29:14.000 Have you ever considered setting yourself on fire?
02:29:21.000 Yeah.
02:29:22.000 There's pros and cons.
02:29:24.000 Let's go through them.
02:29:26.000 Cons.
02:29:27.000 Burns.
02:29:29.000 Pros.
02:29:30.000 Nice and warm.
02:29:31.000 Nice and warm.
02:29:33.000 Cons.
02:29:34.000 Probably gonna die.
02:29:36.000 Pros.
02:29:37.000 I'm in jail anyway.
02:29:39.000 Won't have to do any more jail.
02:29:42.000 I can't really think of any more cons.
02:29:43.000 There's probably only two cons.
02:29:45.000 But there's loads of pros.
02:29:47.000 It'll be interesting to watch.
02:29:48.000 It'll look cool?
02:29:49.000 It'll look great.
02:29:50.000 Think of how good it'll look as an Instagram picture.
02:29:52.000 I'll do it tomorrow morning, goodnight.
02:29:54.000 Do you promise you'll set yourself on fire tomorrow morning?
02:29:56.000 Sure.
02:29:57.000 Promise, Tristan!
02:29:58.000 Don't let me down!
02:30:00.000 Say, I promise.
02:30:01.000 I promise.
02:30:02.000 Tristan.
02:30:03.000 Everybody draws pictures of you.
02:30:19.000 Thank you.
02:30:20.000 Thank you.
02:30:22.000 And they make slogans that insult you.
02:30:28.000 They pretend to be nice to your face and then they go home and draw cartoons that insult you.
02:30:34.000 Every person on earth has cartoons all over their walls about how much they dislike you and how happy they'll be when you set yourself on fire.
02:30:43.000 Tristan, eat a spoon of coffee.
02:30:55.000 Do it.
02:30:57.000 Eat a spoon of coffee.
02:30:58.000 Be a man.
02:31:01.000 Your ancestors will not be disappointed in you anymore.
02:31:05.000 If you eat coffee like a hero.
02:31:08.000 If you go to sleep, your little princess gay boy.
02:31:21.000 Oh boy. Okay. I wish I had an accordion.
02:31:32.000 Same.
02:31:33.000 That I could just play.
02:31:34.000 No, a harmonica!
02:31:36.000 Yeah, same.
02:31:36.000 I could play the jail harmonica.
02:31:40.000 I wish I knew the recipe for cherry soda.
02:31:45.000 Because then I could manufacture it and sell it and make money.
02:31:49.000 Maybe I should whistle all night.
02:31:51.000 Good.
02:31:53.000 Enjoy.
02:31:55.000 Oh, yeah.
02:31:57.000 me oh me
02:32:25.000 oh
02:32:47.000 oh You're queer.
02:32:59.000 Why?
02:33:01.000 Quit listening.
02:33:01.000 Okay.
02:33:03.000 Oh, baby, baby, baby.
02:33:13.000 Moo-hoo-hoo-oo millimeters is the My baby did do this With her little beams With her little ongs and her longs
02:33:35.000 Moo-hoo-hoo-oo Bye!
02:33:57.000 I got some mail here.
02:34:16.000 A few letters.
02:34:18.000 Let's read them out.
02:34:26.000 First one.
02:34:29.000 Would you rather put yourself in jail or play Smash Bros?
02:34:31.000 Well, I'd obviously rather play Smash Bros, because jail sucks.
02:34:34.000 And my jailmate is Princess Bulbul.
02:34:39.000 Dear Andrew, today I made noodles in a cup with sparkling water.
02:34:41.000 It was terrible, but it felt super I will not let my noodles be cucked by flatware.
02:34:47.000 Fuck the Matrix.
02:34:48.000 Moon Landing was a hoax.
02:34:52.000 I've yet to try my Ms.
02:34:53.000 Barthelme lore, but now I have a new objective to complete in my life.
02:34:58.000 This one's long.
02:35:00.000 To the one and only, the best, the strongest, the smartest, the best-looking Andrew, a.k.a.
02:35:04.000 King Cobra Tate, a.k.a.
02:35:05.000 Top G, and his likewise amazing brother, Talisman, a.k.a.
02:35:10.000 Bowl Princess Gaylord, USS Spectrum, Losertor of the solar system.
02:35:19.000 That's not what it says, is it?
02:35:20.000 Yes, it does.
02:35:21.000 The confinement of a cell does not limit your reach and power over all realms.
02:35:26.000 Andrew.
02:35:26.000 Tristan's confinement in a cell massively restricts him, because he is Princess Voldemort.
02:35:34.000 Now, don't get too comfortable.
02:35:36.000 Every hour of energy is important.
02:35:40.000 A thousand push-ups, sit-ups, squats, burpees, mountain climbs, tuck jumps, star jumps, jumping squats, jabs, crosses, hooks, uppercuts.
02:35:46.000 This is from Amir.
02:35:48.000 He wants us to do a thousand push-ups, sit-ups, squats, burpees, mountain climbers, tuck jumps, star jumps, jumping squats, jabs, crosses, hooks, uppercuts, front kicks, low kicks, middle kicks, head kicks, side kicks, hook kicks, axe kicks, spinning back kicks, spinning hook kicks, jumping knees, jumping front kicks, spinning roundhouse kicks,
02:36:05.000 Jumping Sidekicks, Jumping Hook Kicks, Jumping Spinning Back Kick, Jumping Spinning Hook Kicks, Jumping Back Fist, Back Fist, Overhand Right, and then we can meditate and visualize our victory in all realms from coaching here.
02:36:18.000 Or we could stay in jail.
02:36:19.000 This is what he wants us to do each day in jail.
02:36:22.000 Alright, we'll do it tomorrow.
02:36:25.000 Tomorrow I will do a thousand push-ups, because I did a thousand push-ups each day in jail, so I will do a thousand push-ups tomorrow during the day.
02:36:30.000 What's this?
02:36:31.000 I'm not sure about the rest of this.
02:36:33.000 It's good to know that Master Amir is taking notice.
02:36:35.000 What's this?
02:36:36.000 I bet no one's watching our stream.
02:36:48.000 Why ingest any more plastic?
02:36:51.000 Eat the cup.
02:36:54.000 I'll give you four cigarettes if you eat the cup.
02:36:59.000 I can't wait for BH to kick the fuck out of you, bro.
02:37:01.000 It's gonna be sick.
02:37:03.000 Great.
02:37:03.000 I need to pay for my crimes anyway.
02:42:17.000 Thank you.
02:42:18.000 During the afternoon.
02:42:20.000 No one likes you.
02:42:20.000 Because that takes the afternoon away.
02:42:24.000 Otherwise, afternoon would be really hard.
02:42:25.000 Andrew, nobody likes you.
02:42:26.000 Did you hear me?
02:42:31.000 I don't like you.
02:42:31.000 No one watching likes you.
02:42:34.000 Nobody.
02:42:36.000 Good night.
02:43:11.000 So, let's get started.
02:43:33.000 So, let's get started.
02:43:53.000 So,
02:44:03.000 so
02:45:04.000 Tristan.
02:45:07.000 This is your subconscious.
02:45:09.000 Andrew is gonna throw you a lighter.
02:45:24.000 Thank you.
02:45:26.000 Set yourself on fire.
02:45:28.000 I'm going to be a little bit more specific.
02:47:00.000 Tomorrow.
02:47:05.000 Set yourself on fire right now.
02:47:07.000 Tomorrow night.
02:47:10.000 Tomorrow what?
02:47:12.000 Set myself on fire.
02:47:14.000 Why did you decide to do that?
02:47:15.000 My brain.
02:47:19.000 What gave you that idea, buddy?
02:47:21.000 Holding back the years I'm a little bit of a crybaby
02:47:46.000 Please, feel free to add comments.
02:47:53.000 Please subscribe.
02:47:54.000 Thank you, Mr.
02:47:56.000 Let's go whistle, please.
02:47:57.000 Ah, stop whistling now!
02:47:58.000 Ha ha!
02:47:59.000 Yeah, you win.
02:48:00.000 Finally, I get a counterattack against your insanity!
02:48:03.000 You win.
02:48:04.000 I win, don't I?
02:48:04.000 Yes.
02:48:05.000 Which means you do what?
02:48:06.000 Lose.
02:48:07.000 Lose.
02:48:07.000 And what do losers typically love to do?
02:48:10.000 Sleep.
02:48:12.000 Correct.
02:48:13.000 Princess Bull Boy, have a nice little fucking nap.
02:48:17.000 Pussy.
02:48:19.000 What next?
02:48:21.000 First it starts off at naps, then you're in gay clubs.
02:48:25.000 I'm a big, strong man.
02:48:26.000 Let me just have a nap.
02:48:28.000 What?
02:48:29.000 I'm going to sleep for the night.
02:48:30.000 Yeah.
02:48:31.000 Going to sleep is effectively just a long nap.
02:48:35.000 Starts off with naps.
02:48:36.000 That is gay clubs.
02:48:37.000 Gay bondage.
02:48:38.000 Until it all starts with naps.
02:48:42.000 No, no, no, no, no, no.
02:48:42.000 Never known a superhero who's busy taking naps.
02:48:44.000 I'm sorry, I was just a little bit tired.
02:48:46.000 My eyes were hurty-hurty, so I closed them.
02:48:49.000 After eating your noodles from a bowl.
02:48:51.000 You're nothing but fuck-up.
02:48:53.000 Whole life's a fuck-up.
02:48:56.000 You're a testament to failure.
02:48:57.000 God only created you to show the world how to fail.
02:49:00.000 Look up failure in a dictionary as a picture of your stupid face, with your eyes closed, napping.
02:49:04.000 You should have listened to your ancestors and set yourself on fire when you had the chance.
02:49:08.000 How do you know they said that?
02:49:09.000 I heard them.
02:49:13.000 No you didn't.
02:49:13.000 I did!
02:49:14.000 So I'm on to you.
02:49:16.000 I feel like you've been faking an ancestry connection.
02:49:19.000 They told me what they told you.
02:49:21.000 The earth is flat.
02:49:39.000 Bye.
02:49:40.000 Bye.
02:49:40.000 .
02:49:43.000 There are two types of people in the world, Tristan.
02:49:45.000 People who take naps, and people who are men.
02:49:47.000 Heroes who don't.
02:49:48.000 Who fight back.
02:49:51.000 Nap.
02:49:53.000 Well, I'm just tired, so I just had a little nap.
02:49:57.000 Unbelievable.
02:49:58.000 What next?
02:50:08.000 Oh.
02:51:23.000 It's a ticking.
02:51:24.000 I thought it was a clock.
02:51:29.000 Me and my lair.
02:51:30.000 What are you gonna do about it?
02:51:33.000 Sleep at me?
02:51:37.000 We can just shit what sleepy boy decides to do after he's had his noodle bowl.
02:51:41.000 I'm just not talking to you.
02:51:42.000 Just fuck off, princess.
02:51:44.000 We're the real convicts here, we just don't have time.
02:51:46.000 I'll talk to you the rest of the night.
02:52:46.000 No answer.
02:52:49.000 Can't work out the math.
02:52:53.000 You'll work it out one day, friend.
02:52:54.000 I'm trying.
02:52:55.000 I'm trying.
02:52:56.000 Well.
02:52:57.000 Well.
02:53:25.000 I guess.
02:53:31.000 You're a fucking loser in you.
02:53:32.000 Yep, see you in the morning.
02:53:34.000 Yeah.
02:54:02.000 Yep.
02:55:16.000 Thank you.
02:55:17.000 Bye-bye.
02:55:17.000 Thank you.
02:55:18.000 Thank you.
02:55:20.000 What's your favorite color?
02:55:24.000 What's your favorite movie?
02:55:27.000 What's your favorite car?
02:55:28.000 What's your favorite country?
02:55:35.000 What's your favorite dish to eat noodles from?
02:55:42.000 Go on set.
02:55:45.000 Go on!
02:55:47.000 Tell the world!
02:55:49.000 Admissible!
02:55:54.000 Fucking loser.
02:55:58.000 Such a fucking loser.
02:56:01.000 No self-respect, no dignity.
02:56:04.000 Can't even become a cybertronic organism like I can.
02:56:09.000 Looks you're scared a little bit of stomachache from plastic fumes like a baby.
02:56:14.000 You're a fuck up
02:56:34.000 Which country are you in?
02:56:46.000 Which country are you in?
02:57:06.000 A princess.
02:57:08.000 .
02:57:12.000 Dreaming of your spaceship, are ya?
02:57:16.000 Excited for your little tour of the solar system with your mate, Neil?
02:57:23.000 Well, you have a nice little comfy bed on your fucking spaceship, don't ya?
02:57:28.000 Yeah.
02:57:29.000 Your blanket pink.
02:57:32.000 But it is.
02:57:39.000 Pink and fluffy.
02:57:42.000 Your uniform for me, pink and fluffy.
02:57:45.000 Your captain's hat.
02:57:48.000 pink fluffy captain's hat on your way to fucking pluto i am on to you mate Your secret plan is to travel the solar system.
02:58:07.000 on your loser tour have been exposed.
02:58:14.000 You're never going to get away with this.
02:58:16.000 ever.
02:58:18.000 If you count to 10, I'll be quiet.
02:58:37.000 Bye.
02:58:38.000 Thank you.
02:58:40.000 We have to count to 10.
02:58:41.000 If we don't count to 10, I'm not going to stop talking.
02:58:47.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
02:58:49.000 One more time so I can hear you.
02:58:52.000 2345678910.
02:58:53.000 You have to count to 10 backwards or it doesn't count.
02:59:05.000 Alright.
02:59:05.000 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
02:59:10.000 Give me my cigarettes!
02:59:10.000 Shut the fuck up, you criminal!
02:59:15.000 Don't pay yourself!
02:59:16.000 There was no justice in Pakistan!
02:59:19.000 Shut the fuck up!
02:59:20.000 What is this?
02:59:22.000 Shut the **** up!
02:59:24.000 Nice.
02:59:26.000 I wonder what he did.
02:59:28.000 Give him some cigarettes.
02:59:30.000 He pissed the guard off again.
02:59:32.000 Your mate next door.
02:59:34.000 Give him some cigarettes.
02:59:36.000 So you're giving him some cigarettes out the window?
02:59:38.000 Yeah.
02:59:40.000 You're going to make him happy.
02:59:43.000 Count to ten backwards in a girl's voice and I'll be quiet.
02:59:45.000 I actually don't care very much.
02:59:49.000 I can't sleep.
02:59:50.000 Flap your arms like a chicken and say, I'm a little chicken boy and I'm tired.
02:59:53.000 I can't sleep.
02:59:54.000 There is no sleep.
02:59:55.000 If you flap your arms like a chicken and say, I'm a little chicken boy and I'm tired, I promise I'll stop.
03:00:00.000 I'll stop talking to you and I'll let you sleep.
03:00:02.000 Just admit you're a little chicken boy and you're tired.
03:00:04.000 You want a nappy nappy?
03:00:06.000 Can't be done.
03:00:06.000 Say I want a nappy nappy, because I'm tired chicken boy.
03:00:09.000 Flap your arms and count from ten backwards like a girl.
03:00:12.000 And then do a roly poly on the floor while saying I miss my friend Neil.
03:00:16.000 And then I promise, I'll stop talking.
03:00:19.000 If you do all of that, I'll stop.
03:00:21.000 This is an authentic jail experience.
03:00:34.000 It was pretty authentic.
03:00:37.000 I might go mental like the other guard, other people, and start attacking guards and just go mental.
03:00:41.000 You can't go mental.
03:00:41.000 Tristan, I might go mental in jail.
03:00:42.000 We didn't go mental.
03:00:42.000 AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH It's not how jail works.
03:01:09.000 Unfortunately.
03:01:10.000 Otherwise all those people would have got out.
03:01:13.000 That's true actually.
03:01:14.000 Maybe they did get out.
03:01:15.000 We never saw what happened to them.
03:01:16.000 Maybe the ones fighting the guards got rid of them.
03:01:17.000 Maybe they were just waiting for us to scream so we get to go home.
03:01:20.000 Yeah.
03:01:21.000 Maybe it's like an escape room.
03:01:22.000 room. You just have to ask them nicely.
03:01:45.000 Who would win in a fight?
03:01:46.000 Thank you.
03:01:48.000 A kitten or you?
03:01:51.000 I will literally not even reply to you.
03:01:59.000 You with a machete versus a two-week-old kitten.
03:02:03.000 The kitten.
03:02:05.000 And you get an element of surprise.
03:02:07.000 Who would win?
03:02:07.000 The kitten.
03:02:10.000 Who would win in a fight?
03:02:11.000 An aunt 100 Tristans.
03:02:16.000 Fight to the death.
03:02:19.000 Who in a fight?
03:02:20.000 A feather.
03:02:21.000 No wind, no air.
03:02:23.000 Stationary feather on the floor.
03:02:26.000 Not even airborne.
03:02:28.000 Or you.
03:02:30.000 Feather.
03:02:32.000 How would I actually beat a feather in a fight?
03:02:36.000 There's no victory against a feather.
03:02:41.000 There's just no victory.
03:02:43.000 Why are you back in jail?
03:02:55.000 Why were we ever in jail?
03:02:58.000 Because your girlfriend has TikTok.
03:03:00.000 Oh yeah, I forgot.
03:03:01.000 That makes you a human trafficker.
03:03:02.000 You forgot?
03:03:03.000 Oh yeah, sorry.
03:03:04.000 My girlfriend has TikTok, sent me to jail.
03:03:06.000 Yeah.
03:03:33.000 We wouldn't apply apple juice or orange juice.
03:03:36.000 Apple juice.
03:03:37.000 Why?
03:03:37.000 It's better.
03:03:39.000 Apple juice is better.
03:03:48.000 Thank you.
03:03:52.000 Is it?
03:03:52.000 Remember in jail the people who would sing?
03:03:57.000 I sing in jail.
03:03:58.000 True.
03:03:59.000 Who would want to fight a child with a spoon or you with a machine gun?
03:04:20.000 Yes.
03:04:21.000 Mhm.
03:04:21.000 Thank you.
03:04:42.000 .
03:04:46.000 Who would win in a fight?
03:04:48.000 A bowl or a cup?
03:05:00.000 Thank you.
03:05:02.000 Bowl.
03:05:05.000 A bowl could envelop the cup.
03:05:07.000 Surround him.
03:05:07.000 him. Cop can't do that to a ball.
03:05:09.000 I miss my children.
03:05:25.000 Thank you.
03:05:27.000 Yeah, remember when they locked us in jail away from our kids?
03:05:30.000 And I miss my wife.
03:05:32.000 Maybe I should call them and see how they are.
03:05:37.000 Or maybe, instead, to calm my soul, I should have a cigarette.
03:05:46.000 That's a good idea.
03:05:47.000 Cigarettes?
03:05:48.000 Yeah, cigarettes.
03:05:50.000 Back in the game!
03:05:51.000 Time for a cigarette.
03:05:53.000 Good point.
03:05:53.000 I've always been sleeping in jail. I can't sleep in jail. I'm always screaming.
03:05:56.000 Oh, what time do you think it is? Time for a cigarette.
03:06:04.000 Good point.
03:06:05.000 Nice and refreshing.
03:06:22.000 I'll do 6am tomorrow.
03:06:23.000 my triceps are aching. I'm going to do the other side. I'm going to do the other side.
03:06:51.000 Thank you.
03:06:56.000 You don't have triceps, you have biceps.
03:06:57.000 Because you're gay.
03:06:59.000 I do have biceps, yeah.
03:07:01.000 So you didn't miss your minute.
03:07:05.000 No, that's not true.
03:07:06.000 It doesn't make any sense.
03:07:08.000 So that's the guard for a broom, so he can, uh, clean himself.
03:07:12.000 No.
03:07:14.000 Well, fuck off.
03:07:16.000 Fuck off, that's why.
03:07:23.000 Bye.
03:07:26.000 No we don't.
03:07:26.000 She didn't say that.
03:07:32.000 Friendliness is close to godliness Said a very wise philosopher Britney Spears She didn't say nothing We're gonna fight you or Britney Spears Britney Spears Why are you in jail I'm in jail because my girlfriend has TikTok.
03:08:00.000 Why are you in jail?
03:08:06.000 Because your girlfriend has TikTok.
03:08:10.000 I'm in jail because the Matrix attacks us both together.
03:08:18.000 Fine, mate.
03:08:19.000 I'll go to jail with you any day.
03:08:19.000 If they send you back, they'd better fucking send me.
03:08:23.000 Right.
03:08:24.000 Roll the team!
03:08:26.000 J&T's.
03:08:31.000 J and T. J and N.
03:08:37.000 Maybe we should start renting out this jail as the Tate's Jail Experience.
03:08:52.000 It's a million dollars a day.
03:08:53.000 What do you think will be arrested for actually human trafficking, man?
03:09:01.000 If we had a functioning jail in our house.
03:09:03.000 The jail experience.
03:09:05.000 Yeah, Peyton's jail experience.
03:09:10.000 We should get your mate Aiden and throw him in jail, see how he likes it.
03:09:14.000 Aiden Ross.
03:09:16.000 Aiden Ross, five days in jail.
03:09:21.000 Should we do a day in jail with Aiden Ross?
03:09:22.000 We'd beat the shit out of him.
03:09:23.000 Breaking the laws of pudgy-ness.
03:09:25.000 Breaking the laws of fitness.
03:09:28.000 He'd be very lucky we're not gay and rapists.
03:09:32.000 He does fucking doubt it.
03:09:33.000 Yeah.
03:09:37.000 I don't think Aiden's built for jail.
03:09:39.000 Is he?
03:09:40.000 Certainly not.
03:09:41.000 He'll have a very bad time.
03:09:43.000 I don't think Aiden's built for very much for internet streaming, to be honest.
03:09:52.000 He's a knucklehead.
03:09:53.000 You'd better knuckle down for a knucklehead's fat head.
03:09:59.000 Step on his foot.
03:10:04.000 It could have been.
03:10:05.000 Let me make sure that it's good.
03:10:07.000 My stomach level acid...
03:10:18.000 My stomach acid levels are off the charts.
03:10:23.000 Call the cops.
03:10:23.000 I'm off the charts.
03:10:28.000 I'm in jail again.
03:10:31.000 I'm in jail again.
03:10:31.000 Just can't wait till I'm in jail again.
03:10:36.000 Smoking cigarettes, doing push-ups with my friend.
03:10:38.000 I can't wait to be back in jail again.
03:10:42.000 Back in jail again.
03:10:45.000 Just can't wait to be back in jail again.
03:10:47.000 Smoking cigarettes, doing push-ups with my friend.
03:10:51.000 I'm going to be in jail again.
03:10:55.000 Give me a J.
03:11:01.000 Give me an A.
03:11:03.000 Give me an I.
03:11:05.000 Give me an L.
03:11:07.000 Go jail!
03:11:11.000 You used to get out of jail free cards from the Monopoly.
03:11:19.000 Yeah, do you remember when you had those in Monopoly and you used them to play the game?
03:11:22.000 That was bullshit, you should have just held on to them.
03:11:24.000 I just kept them in my wallet.
03:11:26.000 Yeah.
03:11:28.000 You used to get out of jail free cards from the Monopoly.
03:11:30.000 Yeah.
03:11:32.000 You used to get out of jail free cards from the Monopoly.
03:11:34.000 Yeah.
03:11:36.000 You used to get out of jail free cards from the Monopoly.
03:11:38.000 Yeah.
03:11:40.000 You used to get out of jail free cards from the Monopoly.
03:11:42.000 Yeah.
03:11:44.000 You used to get out of jail free cards from the Monopoly.
03:11:46.000 Yeah.
03:11:48.000 You used to get out of jail free cards from the Monopoly.
03:11:50.000 Yeah.
03:11:52.000 You used to get out of jail free cards from the Monopoly.
03:11:54.000 Yeah.
03:11:57.000 What was the best thing about jail?
03:12:04.000 Going to the fridge.
03:12:05.000 I used to walk to the fridge once a day.
03:12:12.000 What do you think?
03:12:15.000 What time is it?
03:12:15.000 I've lost track of time.
03:12:17.000 Seven.
03:12:22.000 It's a good thing.
03:12:24.000 It's not seven.
03:12:26.000 Eight.
03:12:29.000 Four ducks live in a pond in the middle of the forest.
03:12:34.000 They're all named Andrew.
03:12:36.000 Three chickens.
03:12:45.000 Thank you.
03:12:50.000 What do you call a chicken with no face?
03:12:52.000 You.
03:12:54.000 You.
03:13:08.000 No.
03:13:09.000 1,000 times no.
03:13:14.000 2,000 times no.
03:13:15.000 3,000 times no.
03:13:16.000 4,000 times no.
03:13:17.000 5,000 times no.
03:13:18.000 6,000 times no.
03:13:19.000 7,000 times no.
03:13:20.000 8,000 times no.
03:13:21.000 9,000 times no.
03:13:22.000 10,000 times no.
03:13:23.000 11,000 times no.
03:13:24.000 12,000 times no.
03:13:25.000 13,000 times no.
03:13:26.000 14,000 times no.
03:13:27.000 15,000 times no.
03:13:28.000 16,000 times no.
03:13:29.000 17,000 times no.
03:13:30.000 18,000 times no.
03:13:31.000 19,000 times no.
03:13:32.000 20,000 times no.
03:13:33.000 21,000 times no.
03:13:34.000 22,000 times no.
03:13:35.000 23,000 times no.
03:13:36.000 24,000 times no.
03:13:37.000 25,000 times no.
03:13:38.000 26,000 times no.
03:13:39.000 27,000 times no.
03:13:40.000 28,000 times no.
03:13:41.000 29,000 times no.
03:13:42.000 30,000 times no.
03:13:43.000 40,000 times no.
03:13:44.000 50,000 times no.
03:13:45.000 60,000 times no.
03:13:50.000 61,000 times no.
03:13:51.000 62,000 times no.
03:13:52.000 62,000 times no.
03:13:53.000 63,000 times no.
03:13:59.000 64,000 times no.
03:14:00.000 I use Kool-Aid.
03:14:02.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:06.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:10.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:14.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:18.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:22.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:26.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:30.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:34.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:38.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:42.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:46.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:50.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:54.000 I use a Kool-Aid.
03:14:58.000 Back in jail again.
03:15:00.000 You know I can't wait to be back in jail again.
03:15:05.000 Doing push-ups, smoking ciggies with my friends.
03:15:12.000 You know I can't wait to be back in jail again.
03:15:16.000 I'm going to miss you.
03:15:52.000 You
03:16:21.000 Why are there chickens?
03:16:24.000 There were no chickens in jail.
03:16:26.000 There were random people making weird noises though, so that's nice and authentic.
03:16:31.000 We're an animal house.
03:16:38.000 Yeah, jail is animal house, isn't it?
03:16:40.000 I don't want to live in an animal house, I want to live in one of the other houses.
03:16:44.000 Little house on the prairie.
03:16:45.000 And I request for the guards to get broom.
03:16:54.000 I'm gonna sweep the floor, no.
03:16:58.000 You mean no.
03:16:58.000 You don't.
03:16:59.000 It's a mess.
03:16:59.000 Absolutely no way. You will not touch the fucking floor in this jail.
03:17:03.000 I like it this way.
03:17:05.000 You don't?
03:17:06.000 Yes I do.
03:17:07.000 It's a mess.
03:17:08.000 Exactly.
03:17:09.000 I'm gonna sweep the floor.
03:17:12.000 No.
03:17:13.000 You're not allowed.
03:17:24.000 Touch the floor and you're fucking dead.
03:17:25.000 The moment you fall asleep, I'm stabbing you with this shank I made.
03:17:28.000 You won't.
03:17:30.000 While pretending to kind of half lay down earlier and half close my eyes, I was secretly making a knife.
03:17:36.000 Prison shank.
03:17:39.000 You're fucking dead.
03:17:39.000 I'm cleaning up.
03:17:41.000 No.
03:17:43.000 Stop telling me no.
03:17:44.000 I'm putting things over.
03:17:45.000 Away.
03:17:47.000 Nope.
03:17:48.000 Yes.
03:17:50.000 We're cleaning our cell because we don't want to.
03:18:12.000 No.
03:18:14.000 That stays.
03:18:16.000 Don't use the blue windbags.
03:18:32.000 So,
03:18:42.000 so
03:20:02.000 yep
03:20:16.000 Do not sweep my floor.
03:20:38.000 Thank you.
03:20:39.000 Bye bye.
03:20:41.000 Why?
03:20:42.000 I like the floor this way.
03:20:44.000 You don't.
03:20:44.000 Yes I do.
03:20:48.000 You don't.
03:20:49.000 You're lying.
03:20:50.000 The noodle crumbs on the floor is what makes the jail complete.
03:20:54.000 They complete me.
03:20:57.000 If you sweep the cell, you'll take away the greatest part of me.
03:21:04.000 No, don't sweep the cell.
03:21:10.000 If you sweep the cell, you'll take away the greatest part of me.
03:21:16.000 Don't touch that broom, don't sweep my cell.
03:21:24.000 If you sweep the cell, it's a deal breaker.
03:21:25.000 You listening?
03:21:31.000 You're a deal breaker.
03:21:31.000 How can that be true?
03:21:35.000 You're a bar, you're a dirty line car.
03:21:42.000 I want you to know that.
03:21:44.000 I'm what?
03:21:46.000 A cell sweeper.
03:21:49.000 You're a sweeper cell.
03:21:53.000 It's like, it's what Jonathan Ross would be if he was working for the government secretly.
03:21:58.000 That was a smart joke if you didn't get it.
03:22:05.000 From now on you have to call me Darko Karim.
03:22:14.000 Thank you.
03:22:17.000 Thank you.
03:22:18.000 Darko Kareem?
03:22:20.000 Yeah.
03:22:20.000 What does that mean?
03:22:23.000 It's my name.
03:22:23.000 I don't think it is.
03:22:26.000 I'm head of Station T. Alright, goodnight buddy.
03:22:36.000 See you tomorrow in jail.
03:22:39.000 Nice eventful evening.
03:22:41.000 Noodles, sweeping, tea.
03:22:43.000 Not a bad day.
03:22:45.000 All in all, as far as jail days go, it's a good one, you know?
03:22:49.000 There's still more jail tomorrow.
03:22:56.000 Thank you.
03:23:00.000 Bullshit, it's a mixture tag, go to sleep.
03:23:05.000 Okay.
03:23:26.000 My side.
03:23:43.000 Why would you want your side dirty?
03:23:45.000 I like it that way.
03:23:46.000 You don't.
03:23:46.000 Yeah.
03:23:46.000 It's a lie.
03:23:53.000 It's not.
03:23:53.000 It is.
03:23:56.000 You're just lying.
03:23:58.000 I've never told a lie.
03:24:00.000 You don't have told lies.
03:24:21.000 Nope.
03:24:22.000 You're lying now.
03:24:28.000 This could be a lie.
03:24:37.000 Good night, mate.
03:24:37.000 I'll see you in jail tomorrow.
03:24:39.000 You'll be here?
03:24:39.000 I'll be here.
03:24:42.000 You'll be here.
03:24:44.000 If you put it on like an actual t-shirt from the ball, it would stretch around there.
03:25:00.000 You do it you stupid cunt!
03:25:02.000 You're a stupid stunt.
03:25:04.000 If you're leaving now.
03:25:11.000 If you sneak into the cell.
03:25:15.000 I can block some of the light with this t-shirt.
03:25:27.000 I'm going to go to the bathroom.
03:25:29.000 You're a successful...
03:25:35.000 Fold it back up and do the other thing.
03:25:40.000 Huh?
03:25:41.000 Yeah, take the bus in.
03:25:44.000 Ah, blocking the light with the t-shirt.
03:25:46.000 The old jail tactics.
03:25:48.000 Nice!
03:26:04.000 Too dark.
03:26:06.000 This isn't working.
03:26:11.000 I can't block the light with the t-shirt.
03:26:18.000 You can block your eyes with the t-shirt.
03:26:22.000 Thank you.
03:26:24.000 Why don't you take the light and just burn your eyes out?
03:26:27.000 Then it'd be dark.
03:26:28.000 You know?
03:26:31.000 What do you think?
03:26:34.000 Alright, sorry.
03:26:37.000 Okay, sorry.
03:26:41.000 No turning off the light, T. Guards get mad.
03:26:43.000 Nice.
03:26:45.000 Just like real jail.
03:26:46.000 I have to see you at all times.
03:26:48.000 I'll see you in jail tomorrow, mate.
03:26:58.000 See you in jail tomorrow, friend.
03:27:00.000 See you tomorrow.
03:27:01.000 In jail.
03:27:02.000 See you in jail.
03:27:04.000 See you in jail, mate.
03:27:05.000 Let's wake up tomorrow.
03:27:06.000 Hopefully we'll be in jail together.
03:27:08.000 Yeah, true.
03:27:08.000 It's a Matrix Attack.
03:27:10.000 It's bullshit.
03:27:10.000 share whenever you get out.
03:27:12.000 Thank you.
03:29:03.000 Northern California.
03:29:58.000 NO!
03:29:59.000 NO!
03:29:59.000 PLEASE!
03:30:00.000 NO!
03:30:01.000 SHUT UP!
03:30:03.000 NO!
03:30:04.000 PLEASE!
03:30:05.000 PLEASE!
03:30:06.000 NO!
03:30:11.000 Nice.
03:30:14.000 Maybe if you beat all the guards up, they'll let you out, bro.
03:30:18.000 Keep going.
03:30:19.000 Man, I'm wasting shots on the device.
03:30:21.000 Don't give up now!
03:30:21.000 There's only 50 guards!
03:30:23.000 The guards are screaming.
03:30:24.000 Maybe they'll let him out.
03:30:25.000 If you beat them all, you can go home!
03:30:28.000 Take the keys.
03:30:29.000 Let me out on your way out, bro.
03:30:31.000 Throw us the keys if you win the fight, please.
03:30:33.000 Yeah.
03:30:34.000 Cell 5, mate.
03:30:35.000 Right here.
03:30:37.000 I'll drive.
03:30:38.000 I'll drop you off.
03:30:40.000 Yeah, open cell five, please.
03:30:42.000 Yeah.
03:31:10.000 When's the last time you sold the Rubik's Cube?
03:31:16.000 Thank you.
03:31:19.000 This morning.
03:31:20.000 ♪ I'm feeling better looking fine, baby, baby, boom, baby, I know ♪ ♪ With the magic in his eyes, checking every girl inside, moving like he does, girl, my, oh, oh ♪ favourite song.
03:31:44.000 I'm going to sing it.
03:33:48.000 I'm not going to do it.
03:33:50.000 Nice.
03:33:51.000 I said, Happy New Year. Nice. Happy New Year, bro.
03:34:18.000 I'm helping it out. Jesus.
03:34:26.000 I'm helping it out. Jesus.
03:34:29.000 Thank you.
03:34:32.000 Thank you.
03:34:33.000 you It's a great song.
03:34:37.000 It's a great song.
03:34:39.000 It might be my favorite song.
03:34:43.000 Jail is always so bright and so loud.
03:34:57.000 There's always noises and you can never fucking relax in this place.
03:35:02.000 Yeah, I like it.
03:35:06.000 You don't like it?
03:35:06.000 It illuminates your soul.
03:35:08.000 opens your mind.
03:35:18.000 So,
03:35:28.000 so
03:36:12.000 Nice, there's a mosquito in here.
03:36:14.000 Hope it bites you.
03:36:15.000 I'm not going to kill him in the hope that he goes over there and pesters you.
03:36:20.000 So you get mosquito'd all night.
03:36:25.000 Mosquito'd all night long.
03:36:30.000 Mosquito bit me all night long.
03:36:36.000 Okay.
03:37:53.000 Moving to Paris.
03:37:55.000 Moving to Genevieve.
03:37:59.000 Shame.
03:38:09.000 Okay.
03:42:44.000 Stop snoring you retarded cunt.
03:42:45.000 I'm trying to add a degree of realism to jail.
03:42:53.000 And if we're going to add realism to jail, you're going to start snoring because you are snore man in jail.
03:43:00.000 You're snorey senate.
03:43:04.000 Mom.
03:43:06.000 Your mom does not snore in jail.
03:43:08.000 She does.
03:43:08.000 How would you know what my mom, what your mom does?
03:43:11.000 Like, yeah.
03:43:14.000 Fuck you.
03:43:16.000 Set yourself on fire.
03:43:20.000 Set myself on fire?
03:43:22.000 Where'd you get that idea from?
03:43:24.000 You're a fucking idiot.
03:49:02.000 See you tomorrow.
03:49:04.000 He's got up until breakfast.
03:49:07.000 Nice.
03:49:09.000 Unintelligible words from around the jail.
03:49:13.000 Random screaming in Romanian.
03:49:16.000 My favorite. Great.
03:49:25.000 Yeah.
03:54:50.000 you
04:03:05.000 see you in the morning
04:03:24.000 you
04:06:59.000 Thank you.
04:07:03.000 Jill's good.
04:07:04.000 All right, Jill.
04:07:07.000 Simple life
04:07:09.000 Sleep
04:13:06.000 However, they won't be asleep for long.
04:13:10.000 The End.
04:25:26.000 I'm starting to work with your burning.
04:25:30.000 It's working.
04:25:35.000 Yeah.
04:26:02.000 and sleep.
04:26:12.000 So, um,
04:26:34.000 so,
04:32:53.000 oh,
04:33:07.000 so,
04:35:44.000 Thank you.
04:35:46.000 So So
04:36:24.000 I don't don't don't know Okay Yeah Um Thank you.
04:36:53.000 Bye-bye.
04:36:55.000 Oh, Lord.
04:37:07.000 Yes.
04:37:13.000 Thank you.
04:37:14.000 Okay.
04:37:15.000 Thank you.
04:37:43.000 Okay.
04:40:24.000 uh so
04:40:33.000 so
04:41:27.000 um so
04:41:45.000 uh so
04:42:09.000 uh so
04:42:34.000 uh
04:42:45.000 so
04:44:16.000 um
04:44:25.000 so
04:44:58.000 right guys as it's very clear that Tristan is sleeping peacefully whilst Andrew is starting to regret every second of this live stream i think we should start talking to chat and thinking about tell us what ideas we should come up with next
04:45:23.000 so so Chat, tell us what your ideas are.
04:45:47.000 We want to hear all your ideas.
04:45:50.000 It's going to be a long day tomorrow and we want to get them as much as we can.
04:45:54.000 So, we're going to be working on the next one.
04:53:59.000 We're going to go ahead and get started.
04:54:01.000 Okay.
05:00:01.000 Oh I Don't Know hold up Shout out to the vendor Oh I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know
05:00:31.000 I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I
05:01:01.000 Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know
05:01:31.000 I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I
05:02:02.000 So,
05:05:32.000 Watch.
05:05:34.000 you
05:05:36.000 I'm going to take a couple of pictures.
05:06:19.000 Okay.
05:09:22.000 uh...
05:10:58.000 i can not sleep uh...
05:11:07.000 Bye.
05:11:08.000 at all.
05:11:10.000 I need more cigarettes.
05:11:16.000 All right.
05:11:17.000 It's the one move that we always have.
05:11:24.000 Mmm.
05:11:46.000 I shouldn't have eaten all that coffee.
05:11:48.000 Increasing our captivity is always an option if we want to be free.
05:11:55.000 What the fuck does that mean?
05:11:56.000 It means we strengthen the power of our jail to achieve true freedom amongst the stars.
05:12:05.000 I don't know what that means.
05:12:19.000 Neither do you.
05:12:23.000 It doesn't matter what it may.
05:12:25.000 No.
05:12:45.000 Oh.
05:13:14.000 Awesome.
05:17:30.000 Ah! Shit!
05:17:32.000 That means one of us has to leave.
05:17:38.000 Maybe he'll let you out, G. I might live here forever.
05:17:45.000 Keep smashing the cell, he'll definitely let you out.
05:17:47.000 I'm going to get you. **** **** **** Good luck, bro. I think I've decided that I good luck. I live here forever.
05:18:04.000 No, we should do like that guy.
05:18:06.000 He's going to get out and we're not because he's more disciplined and motivated than us.
05:18:10.000 Think of all the things we teach about hard work and dedication.
05:18:12.000 Yeah, we're not even screaming.
05:18:14.000 We're not even trying to get out.
05:18:16.000 We need to be more like that guy.
05:18:18.000 That's how we get out of jail, T.
05:18:25.000 So anyway?
05:18:26.000 You go first.
05:18:27.000 Now look at him.
05:18:34.000 Fucking six months on the job.
05:18:47.000 All I did was look in a fucking car window!
05:18:50.000 Fucking bullshit man!
05:18:52.000 Gata, gata, gata!
05:18:54.000 Shut up man!
05:18:56.000 Fuck you, I have to laugh man!
05:18:58.000 Gata!
05:19:00.000 Gata, gata!
05:19:02.000 Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Jail simulator.
05:19:07.000 That's 100% jail.
05:19:07.000 We're gonna start.
05:19:08.000 Unlucky bro.
05:19:09.000 We're gonna send people here.
05:19:10.000 Maybe next time they'll let you out.
05:19:12.000 We're gonna let our fans come and sit in the jail simulator.
05:19:15.000 If you scream louder, they might let you out next time.
05:19:17.000 Maybe we should start shouting until the guards attack us.
05:19:31.000 T, should we get attacked by the guards?
05:19:35.000 Yeah, that's a good idea.
05:19:43.000 T, we need to start fighting the guards.
05:19:48.000 What do you think?
05:19:48.000 We should have done from day one.
05:19:51.000 We're never getting out of here if we don't fight the guards.
05:19:56.000 Should we start screaming?
05:19:58.000 Maybe this is all just a big test and they're waiting to see until we start screaming and I can let us out.
05:20:08.000 Thank you.
05:20:11.000 Nah.
05:20:12.000 I believe that too but I'm staying.
05:20:14.000 So, um,
05:20:24.000 um,
05:32:44.000 So, from what we've seen so far, my observations are that Tristan seems to be coping a lot better with this 24 hours.
05:33:12.000 I mean, he's sleeping peacefully.
05:33:14.000 He hasn't really moved much.
05:33:18.000 It's like he's accepted that he's going to be there for 24 hours and that he's going to be under a lot of pressure from the noise outside.
05:33:26.000 It's like he's accepted that and he's at peace with it.
05:33:29.000 Now Andrew, Andrew is tossing and turning at every noise he hears.
05:33:40.000 I know from my own experiences that he doesn't like to be away from his phones and his laptop.
05:33:47.000 Any noise that's made is waking him up and I don't, I wouldn't say he's agitated but I'd say he most definitely wants to get out of there a lot more than Tristan.
05:33:59.000 But we'll see what happens.
05:34:00.000 We've got some more tricks up our sleeve.
05:34:03.000 But we shall see.
05:34:05.000 Maybe Andrew will accept it for what it is soon.
05:34:08.000 Maybe he won't.
05:34:09.000 Maybe he'll be up all night.
05:34:11.000 I think Tristan's coping a lot better though.
05:34:13.000 he's sleeping like a baby and I think we're gonna have to change that soon.
05:34:18.000 You
05:36:16.000 Don't push me close to the edge BITCH!
05:36:28.000 I'm trying not to lose my head.
05:36:31.000 I'm going to get out.
05:36:36.000 Shut the fuck up.
05:36:38.000 I come see my family.
05:36:42.000 Shut up bro.
05:36:46.000 It's very realistic.
05:36:48.000 Very realistic jail experience.
05:36:51.000 How much?
05:36:53.000 Are we charging people for this?
05:36:56.000 for each 24 hours.
05:36:57.000 What do you think?
05:37:04.000 I'm not charging him for anything.
05:37:06.000 So,
05:37:17.000 so,
05:38:19.000 okay.
05:38:33.000 So,
05:38:44.000 so,
05:48:08.000 I'm out.
05:48:11.000 Random inexplicable noises.
05:48:12.000 this is... I like it.
05:48:16.000 I like it.
05:48:56.000 Justin are you asleep or asleep?
05:48:58.000 week.
05:48:59.000 Thank you.
05:49:00.000 That's a good one.
05:49:01.000 I think I may have been asweep.
05:49:03.000 Bro, you were closer to asweep than you could possibly imagine.
05:49:07.000 Why, because you were going to hit me if I didn't wake up in time?
05:49:09.000 You have no idea how close you were to asweep.
05:49:11.000 I'm sweepin'.
05:49:14.000 I'm sweepy.
05:49:15.000 Are you sweepy?
05:49:16.000 Yeah, I'm real sweepy.
05:49:18.000 What do you do if I master Kung Fu with this bird?
05:49:38.000 What would you do if I... And I decided to destroy you?
05:49:43.000 What would you do if I swept the floor with you?
05:49:47.000 I can speak.
05:49:50.000 I can go to jail so well that I now can commentate the workings of earth using my master voice.
05:49:59.000 My broken heart brimmed with your cry.
05:50:11.000 Yeah.
05:50:14.000 You sure?
05:50:15.000 I'm going to go to the store. Yeah. I'm very good.
05:50:22.000 I'm going to go to the store.
05:50:28.000 Oh, Jill's gay.
05:50:29.000 I like it.
05:50:31.000 No, you don't.
05:50:42.000 Nobody likes jail Hmm
05:50:47.000 You
05:53:13.000 I don't know what you're talking about.
05:53:16.000 I'm sorry.
05:53:18.000 Okay.
05:53:22.000 Nope.
05:53:31.000 Nope.
05:53:40.000 Huh.
05:53:51.000 Nope.
05:57:06.000 We've done six hours.
05:57:08.000 It seems that Tristan is a lot more relaxed.
05:57:11.000 He's talking sleep talk to Andrew which makes zero sense at all.
05:57:18.000 We don't know how it's going to pan out over the next six hours.
05:57:22.000 I guess Tristan might have a bit more energy in the morning because he seems to be getting a bit more sleep than Andrew.
05:57:29.000 However, Andrew doesn't seem to be sleeping at all or if he is it's very If he is sleeping, it's in intervals of 10 minutes, 15 minutes, it's not real sleep.
05:57:43.000 So I think that the guys might have different energy levels when it comes to the morning.
05:57:48.000 Andrew's playing with Broom, he's walking around the room, he's trying to wake Tristan, he's trying to entertain himself and keep occupied, whereas Tristan is very relaxed.
05:57:58.000 We shall see how it pans out in the next six hours, but we're a quarter of the way through now and we shall see how it goes.
05:58:03.000 If you guys talk to chat and give us some more ideas, some of the ideas coming through are great.
05:58:08.000 However, the boys do have to be up in the morning.
05:58:13.000 So we will let them sleep a little bit longer now, but all ideas are welcome.
05:58:20.000 So talk to chat, tell us what you think we should do in the morning.
05:58:24.000 And yeah, we'll review the comments and we'll see what we can do.
05:58:28.000 Okay.
05:58:29.000 Thanks, everyone.
05:58:30.000 Thanks for joining us.
05:58:31.000 We'll see you next time.
05:58:32.000 Bye.
05:59:17.000 I mean, I'm up.
05:59:19.000 I'm awake.
05:59:20.000 It makes no difference to me.
05:59:22.000 So do we let them sleep or not?
05:59:24.000 Talk to Chad, let me know what you think.
05:59:26.000 Thanks.
05:59:54.000 you
06:03:05.000 Okay.
06:07:39.000 um,
06:07:49.000 so
06:08:49.000 Best thing about jail... ...is to be mates crying.
06:08:54.000 My favorite.
06:08:56.000 It's you when you have to make noodles in a cup.
06:09:04.000 Is that you crying?
06:09:06.000 It's you when you have to make noodles in a cup, you fucking...
06:09:09.000 It's you when it's time to sleep, Princess Bowl.
06:09:16.000 You don't have to be straight.
06:09:19.000 You're around girls.
06:09:20.000 It's you when you're in outer space.
06:09:28.000 It's you and your out of space with your mate Neil.
06:09:41.000 Because you're all a bunch of losers.
06:09:47.000 I mean it.
06:09:48.000 You're my friend.
06:09:49.000 I'm not your friend.
06:09:50.000 I hate you.
06:09:51.000 Shalom.
06:26:24.000 Try and cover the light bro, like you did earlier.
06:26:26.000 Fuck em.
06:26:27.000 Can't.
06:26:28.000 Can't.
06:26:29.000 You do it.
06:26:30.000 Wow.
06:27:03.000 Hmm.
07:19:05.000 Oh Oh.
07:19:08.000 Okay.
07:32:56.000 Bye.
07:32:57.000 So, uh, so
07:33:27.000 um
07:33:41.000 so
07:38:55.000 I'm going to go ahead and get started.
07:40:09.000 Ender.
07:40:10.000 Hey dork.
07:40:12.000 Nice.
07:40:18.000 I'm going to sleep.
07:40:28.000 Hmm.
07:41:01.000 Yeah, you hear that?
07:41:04.000 Andrew!
07:41:05.000 Shut the fuck up!
07:41:10.000 just like real jail
07:41:17.000 so
07:42:57.000 with Andrew snoring.
07:43:00.000 Maybe Andrew was trying to impersonate Snorey Sinnott.
07:43:04.000 Who knows?
07:43:06.000 You
07:55:30.000 So guys, the boys are sound asleep.
07:55:35.000 However, in 30 minutes, they're going to have a rude awakening.
07:55:53.000 So,
07:56:03.000 so
08:03:13.000 you
08:03:25.000 so
08:03:57.000 exactly you Ah, nice. Back to jail.
08:04:10.000 Back to jail.
08:04:13.000 Back to jail.
08:04:17.000 All right.
08:07:08.000 One but she's already one but she's already one bit but she's already chamado here and home to Mangorphe and whoever I don't even approve of people cannot oh you haven't that your profession and compensation Marcus Kendrick and Devonté Marcus Kendrick and
08:07:36.000 Devonté.
08:07:41.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:07:47.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:07:53.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:07:59.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:08:05.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:08:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:08:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:08:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:08:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:08:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:08:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:08:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:08:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:09:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:09:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:09:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:09:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:09:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:09:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:09:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:09:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:09:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:09:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:10:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:10:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:10:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:10:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:10:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:10:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:10:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:10:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:10:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:10:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:11:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:11:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:11:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:11:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:11:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:11:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:11:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:11:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:11:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:11:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:12:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:12:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:12:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:12:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:12:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:12:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:12:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:12:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:12:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:12:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:13:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:13:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:13:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:13:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:13:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:13:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:13:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:13:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:13:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:13:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:14:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:14:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:14:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:14:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:14:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:14:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:14:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:14:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:14:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:14:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:15:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:15:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:15:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:15:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:15:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:15:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:15:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:15:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:15:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:15:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:16:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:16:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:16:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:16:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:16:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:16:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:16:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:16:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:16:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:16:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:17:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:17:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:17:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:17:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:17:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:17:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:17:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:17:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:17:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:17:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:18:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:18:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:18:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:18:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:18:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:18:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:18:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:18:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:18:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:18:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:19:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:19:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:19:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:19:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:19:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:19:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:19:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:19:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:19:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:19:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:20:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:20:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:20:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:20:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:20:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:20:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:20:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:20:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:20:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:20:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:21:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:21:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:21:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:21:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:21:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:21:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:21:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:21:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:21:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:21:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:22:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:22:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:22:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:22:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:22:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:22:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:22:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:22:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:22:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:22:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:23:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:23:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:23:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:23:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:23:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:23:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:23:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:23:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:23:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:23:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:24:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:24:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:24:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:24:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:24:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:24:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:24:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:24:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:24:50.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:24:56.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:25:02.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:25:08.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:25:14.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:25:20.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:25:26.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:25:32.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:25:38.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:25:44.000 I don't even approve of people cannot even ask for a little bit of compensation.
08:25:50.000 I don't even approve of Good morning!
08:25:54.000 Good morning!
08:25:56.000 Problems?
08:26:04.000 No, no, no problem. Everything's fine.
08:26:07.000 Let me see if I have something on my lap.
08:26:09.000 I'm jumping.
08:26:11.000 Yes?
08:26:19.000 Please, sir.
08:26:21.000 Okay.
08:26:22.000 Okay.
08:26:27.000 Alright, thank you.
08:26:29.000 Have a nice day.
08:26:33.000 Brings back memories, Hinder.
08:26:37.000 Aww.
08:26:39.000 Bye.
08:26:44.000 Cigarette for breakfast?
08:26:46.000 Breakfast cigarette?
08:26:54.000 Too scared.
08:26:56.000 I've decided... You're no longer my brother.
08:26:59.000 Cool.
08:27:03.000 You've been relegated.
08:27:06.000 Oh.
08:28:03.000 I'm delighted not to talk to you anymore.
08:28:06.000 Oh.
08:30:26.000 um,
08:30:36.000 Okay.
08:32:16.000 Andy, why are you in jail?
08:32:19.000 Tick tock.
08:32:22.000 TikTok It doesn't make any sense I uh
08:32:47.000 so
08:33:37.000 um
08:33:48.000 so
08:34:42.000 uh
08:34:55.000 so
08:35:39.000 well
08:35:50.000 um
08:36:14.000 so
08:38:25.000 um
08:38:36.000 so
08:41:19.000 you know so
08:41:44.000 i've changed my name Officially.
08:42:02.000 Mr. Potato Head.
08:42:08.000 Now she will use this orange for sudoku .
08:42:14.000 She was not listening to me.
08:42:17.000 This area is going to be the fulcrum.
08:42:24.000 Like I said, she really has started to wallow into the stuff.
08:42:40.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:42:44.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:42:48.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:42:52.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:42:56.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:00.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:04.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:08.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:12.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:16.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:20.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:24.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:28.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:32.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:36.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:40.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:44.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:48.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:52.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:43:56.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:00.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:04.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:08.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:12.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:16.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:20.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:24.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:28.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:32.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:36.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:40.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:44.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:48.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:52.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:44:56.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:00.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:04.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:08.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:12.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:16.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:20.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:24.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:28.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:32.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:36.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:40.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:44.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:48.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:52.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:45:56.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:00.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:04.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:08.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:12.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:16.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:20.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:24.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:28.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:32.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:36.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:40.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:44.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:48.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:52.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:46:56.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:00.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:04.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:08.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:12.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:16.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:20.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:24.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:26.000 So, having a professional share in this process.
08:47:28.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:30.000 So, I'm going to show you how to do it.
08:47:32.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:36.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:40.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:44.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:48.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:52.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:47:54.000 So, let's get started.
08:47:56.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:00.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:04.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:08.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:12.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:16.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:20.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:22.000 So, I'm going to show you how to do it.
08:48:24.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:28.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:32.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:36.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:40.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:42.000 So, let's get started.
08:48:44.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:48.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:52.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:48:56.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:49:00.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:49:04.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:49:08.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:49:12.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:49:16.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:49:20.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:49:24.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:49:28.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:49:32.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:49:36.000 She is going to be a little bit more aggressive.
08:50:21.000 Yes.
08:50:22.000 Q. How do you feel about the fact that you are a Christian?
08:50:51.000 A. I am a Christian.
08:51:19.000 Q. Are you a Christian?
08:51:24.000 You are the saviour, Challenge me.
08:51:26.000 I am the one who is the saviour.
08:51:43.000 A. Yes.
08:51:50.000 Q. What is your religion?
08:52:19.000 A. I am a Christian.
08:52:39.000 Q. What is your religion?
08:56:34.000 you.
08:56:38.000 okay uh so
08:57:24.000 An old shark may kill me outside, mate.
08:57:26.000 the end of the group was assigned to the Do So
08:57:48.000 So Hmm.
08:57:58.000 Okay.
08:57:59.000 there's a guy,
08:58:23.000 and he's got a gun.
08:58:30.000 He's got a gun.
09:00:01.000 um um
09:00:23.000 so so Hmm.
09:00:54.000 um
09:01:39.000 so
09:02:02.000 no um
09:02:27.000 so
09:02:39.000 Okay.
09:03:28.000 Now you're gonna do a little bit of a massage.
09:03:31.000 This is called a shoulder massage.
09:03:32.000 And I'm gonna do a little bit of a massage.
09:03:33.000 So if you're gonna do a shoulder massage, you're gonna need a little bit of a pillow.
09:03:37.000 You're gonna need a pillow, and I'm gonna need a pillow.
09:03:40.000 So, I'm gonna get you a pillow.
09:03:41.000 You're gonna need a pillow, and I'm gonna get you a pillow.
09:03:43.000 You're gonna need a pillow, and then a pillow.
09:03:47.000 And then a pillow, and then a pillow.
09:03:49.000 You're gonna need a pillow.
09:03:50.000 You're gonna need a pillow, and then a pillow.
09:03:58.000 Okay.
09:04:49.000 .
09:04:53.000 um um
09:05:20.000 so
09:06:11.000 um
09:06:25.000 so
09:08:34.000 um um
09:09:02.000 so
09:09:10.000 and Thank you.
09:09:38.000 ...
09:09:42.000 Hmm.
09:09:42.000 so
09:10:38.000 I'm going to go ahead and get started.
09:12:05.000 um um
09:12:29.000 so um Thank you.
09:12:53.000 um um
09:13:17.000 so um
09:13:42.000 so uh
09:14:04.000 um
09:14:36.000 so um
09:15:00.000 so
09:15:43.000 um so
09:16:11.000 um so
09:16:39.000 um so
09:17:06.000 um
09:17:48.000 so um
09:18:14.000 so um
09:18:40.000 so
09:18:54.000 um
09:19:36.000 uh um
09:19:59.000 uh so
09:20:23.000 so um
09:20:51.000 so so
09:21:15.000 um
09:21:57.000 so so
09:22:23.000 um Bye.
09:22:41.000 Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm. Mm.
09:23:08.000 Mm. Mm.
09:23:48.000 Mm.
09:25:51.000 So, I'm going to go ahead and start. So, I'm going to start.
09:25:58.000 So, I'm going to start. So, I'm going to start.
09:26:06.000 So, I'm going to start.
09:26:20.000 So,
09:27:57.000 um
09:28:33.000 so
09:32:27.000 um so so
09:32:57.000 um
09:33:11.000 so
09:34:56.000 um so
09:35:18.000 Okay.
09:38:35.000 Hmm.
09:38:35.000 Okay.
09:44:10.000 and hmm wow
09:44:38.000 so
09:45:32.000 wow so
09:45:57.000 oh so
09:46:23.000 wow so
09:46:50.000 hmm
09:47:04.000 so
09:47:51.000 uh so
09:48:17.000 hmm uh
09:48:42.000 so
09:50:39.000 uh
09:50:53.000 so
09:52:55.000 wow uh
09:53:20.000 so so
09:53:43.000 uh
09:53:57.000 so
09:54:33.000 hmm um
09:54:58.000 so uh
09:55:23.000 so oh
09:55:49.000 so hmm
09:56:14.000 so
09:56:47.000 uh uh
09:57:06.000 so
09:57:40.000 hello so is
09:58:10.000 um
09:58:45.000 so
10:00:04.000 wow
10:00:18.000 so
10:07:15.000 yeah
10:07:29.000 so
10:09:53.000 Can I ask you to move down for a minute?
10:10:18.000 I'm going to get a little bit of a break.
10:21:37.000 uh so so
10:22:04.000 so uh
10:22:32.000 so
10:23:06.000 now
10:23:20.000 so
10:25:52.000 Yo, dork.
10:25:54.000 Yep?
10:25:55.000 Stop snoring.
10:25:56.000 OK.
10:26:02.000 Um,
10:26:05.000 Okay.
10:58:10.000 Bye.
10:58:13.000 Breakfast is ready!
10:58:18.000 For you, for you!
10:58:19.000 Thank you!
10:58:22.000 Enjoy your meal!
10:58:24.000 Thank you!
10:58:24.000 Enjoy your meal!
10:58:30.000 Have a nice day!
10:58:32.000 it's locked in the cabinet.
10:58:34.000 Tell me, Joe.
10:59:02.000 Ah, good old jail.
10:59:06.000 Glad to be here, glad to be anywhere.
10:59:08.000 you know?
10:59:10.000 Bread and a boiled egg.
10:59:34.000 I'm going to make a sandwich.
11:00:05.000 There are many different versions of reality, my friend.
11:00:07.000 And in all of them, you are a loser.
11:00:13.000 Andrew.
11:00:15.000 Welcome.
11:00:25.000 No one has ever liked you.
11:00:27.000 Oh yeah, keep my whore mouth shut.
11:00:35.000 I'm not a whore.
11:00:37.000 I'm a whore.
11:00:49.000 so
11:10:16.000 Thank you.
11:10:17.000 Incredible what a loser you are.
11:10:20.000 It amazes me every day.
11:10:21.000 I look around at you and I think, wow.
11:10:29.000 What an incredible achievement.
11:10:31.000 So,
11:14:28.000 Thank you.
11:16:47.000 Okay.
11:43:14.000 Thank you.
11:43:17.000 And you're a loser and no one likes you.
11:43:18.000 I don't even know what time it is.
11:43:21.000 What time is it?
11:43:25.000 No one knows in jail.
11:43:31.000 after me.
11:43:51.000 Okay.
11:50:25.000 They call me the human spider.
11:50:26.000 So,
11:50:37.000 so,
12:21:24.000 Oh I've got to go sign the papers at the police station.
12:21:31.000 Yeah, what time is it?
12:21:34.000 Time to go.
12:21:35.000 Okay.
12:21:37.000 Come in.
12:21:41.000 And then back to jail.
12:21:47.000 Okay.
12:21:49.000 Thank you.
12:21:50.000 Bye.
12:21:54.000 exciting stuff.
12:21:56.000 I'm going to play a little bit of the song.
12:22:06.000 Shut up.
12:22:08.000 How good to get out of the rain.
12:22:11.000 It can't be 10 o'clock.
12:22:13.000 It's 30 G. No alarm clock.
12:22:19.000 Never knew what time it was in jail when we woke up.
12:22:24.000 One remembers your name. Let's go.
12:22:26.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:22:32.000 Alright, police station.
12:22:38.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:22:40.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:22:42.000 Alright, police station.
12:22:44.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:22:46.000 Alright, police station.
12:22:48.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:22:50.000 Alright, police station.
12:22:52.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:22:54.000 Alright, police station.
12:22:56.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:22:58.000 Alright, police station.
12:23:00.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:23:02.000 Alright, police station.
12:23:04.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:23:06.000 Alright, police station.
12:23:08.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:23:10.000 Alright, police station.
12:23:12.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:23:14.000 Alright, police station.
12:23:16.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:23:18.000 Alright, police station.
12:23:20.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:23:22.000 Alright, police station.
12:23:24.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:23:26.000 Alright, police station.
12:23:28.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:23:30.000 Alright, police station.
12:23:32.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:23:34.000 Alright, police station.
12:23:36.000 I'm burning my egg for later.
12:23:38.000 They won't be going anywhere else.
12:23:40.000 They'll be coming straight back.
12:23:42.000 This is obviously out of our control.
12:23:45.000 In the meantime though, we can watch some Taka behind the scenes and we'll get the boys back in the cell as soon as possible.
12:23:55.000 You
12:24:33.000 Cigars are hundreds of years old.
12:24:36.000 Me and Andrew did not invent them.
12:24:38.000 But I see all the time people on the internet post photos with cigars in their mouth and everyone's like, oh, you're trying to be the Tate brothers.
12:24:43.000 I'm like, I have never claimed that I started cigar smoking.
12:24:48.000 You got that one little piece of glare off that light?
12:24:51.000 Is that what it is?
12:24:51.000 Yeah, I do.
12:24:52.000 So, if this is right up here.
12:24:53.000 Let me see.
12:24:54.000 Put it on top of that?
12:24:55.000 Yeah, I'm just going to slide this under it.
12:25:11.000 There we go.
12:25:12.000 That's better.
12:25:13.000 Yeah, that's good.
12:25:13.000 There we go.
12:25:15.000 Oh, my God.
12:25:20.000 What about you?
12:25:29.000 Florida.
12:25:30.000 Nice.
12:25:30.000 I live in Miami now.
12:25:31.000 Really?
12:25:32.000 Yeah.
12:25:32.000 I'm in Naples.
12:25:33.000 No shit, bro.
12:25:33.000 Yeah, bro.
12:25:34.000 We gotta hang.
12:25:34.000 It's sharp.
12:25:44.000 Yeah.
12:25:46.000 Yeah.
12:25:46.000 Andrew, what is that smell I can hear right now?
12:25:50.000 I'm sure of it.
12:25:52.000 The person who knows the bus is black.
12:25:58.000 Raid.
12:25:58.000 I've been fly hunting.
12:26:00.000 This whole house smells like raid.
12:26:02.000 I think there's still one or two, but they're rocked.
12:26:06.000 Then you woke up with messy pants.
12:26:07.000 Yeah.
12:26:09.000 And no wallet.
12:26:10.000 Do it again?
12:26:11.000 I've been, uh, you know what I didn't realize about this?
12:26:33.000 What?
12:26:33.000 Is that it actually has Jack in it.
12:26:38.000 Yeah, they left it in there when they did the resin.
12:26:43.000 Andrew, you gonna sit up?
12:26:45.000 You gonna sit up, yeah?
12:26:46.000 Keep talking, Justin.
12:26:49.000 Test, test, test, test.
12:26:51.000 Actually, Tucker...
12:26:54.000 Test, test, test, test.
12:26:56.000 Did you know that Tristan is, in fact, a lizard man?
12:26:59.000 Tristan is a lizard man.
12:27:01.000 And he's in cohesion with Marcel now to fight against the insect people.
12:27:13.000 From cigar to prison cigarettes.
12:27:14.000 These prison cigarettes are good.
12:27:18.000 Yeah.
12:27:21.000 So I'm, wait, who's here?
12:27:22.000 I'm here, Tucker's here, yeah?
12:27:24.000 Tucker's here, I'm here.
12:27:25.000 Cool.
12:27:25.000 Oh, can we clear everything off this table?
12:27:28.000 Yeah, cool.
12:27:29.000 Absolutely.
12:27:31.000 It's exactly how I like it.
12:27:40.000 Thank you very much.
12:27:40.000 Thank you very much.
12:27:41.000 Nice.
12:27:42.000 Slept good?
12:27:43.000 Yeah.
12:27:44.000 All right.
12:27:45.000 Thanks.
12:27:45.000 All right.
12:27:58.000 Yeah.
12:27:59.000 I couldn't fall asleep, bro.
12:28:01.000 Nothing wrong.
12:28:02.000 You ever have that?
12:28:02.000 Yep.
12:28:03.000 Just, you're like, fuck!
12:28:06.000 Starting to get mad about it.
12:28:08.000 Yeah.
12:28:08.000 Like, there's no reason for this.
12:28:10.000 Two cigars.
12:28:14.000 Tea's probably going to do it.
12:28:16.000 Might as well do three.
12:28:18.000 How can we turn this to make it?
12:28:20.000 Yeah.
12:28:32.000 They make it very clear around here.
12:28:34.000 Yeah.
12:28:35.000 These will kill you.
12:28:36.000 That's what that means, bro.
12:28:39.000 It's like when Darth Vader puts the mask on.
12:28:43.000 The force is too strong in him.
12:28:45.000 Yeah, they put dying people on the front of cigarette packets.
12:28:48.000 Bro, the small print, bro.
12:28:52.000 None.
12:28:53.000 In Europe, they put images of dying people on them.
12:28:57.000 That's awesome.
12:28:58.000 Determined nobody.
12:29:00.000 Yeah, we went to, uh, you guys have been recommending amazing places.
12:29:04.000 Yeah.
12:29:04.000 It was the best steak I've ever had.
12:29:06.000 I mean, 9 out of 10 is unbelievable.
12:29:07.000 Where'd you go?
12:29:08.000 First night.
12:29:08.000 First night, where'd you go?
12:29:10.000 I can't remember.
12:29:11.000 First night they went to Hero Bay.
12:29:12.000 Last night they went to Le Brasserie.
12:29:14.000 The first night they went to Le Brasserie.
12:29:17.000 First night was Le Brasserie.
12:29:19.000 Last night was Casa de David.
12:29:21.000 So you went to Le Brasserie.
12:29:22.000 How late were you there?
12:29:23.000 I'm living vicariously through you now.
12:29:25.000 We were there till midnight and then we walked around the lake for about 30 minutes.
12:29:33.000 kind of clubs like loud music down there it was really nice.
12:29:37.000 I just wanted to move here.
12:29:39.000 That was good last night.
12:29:41.000 And then you went to Casa last night and you're saying the food was good there as well?
12:29:44.000 Amazing, yeah.
12:29:44.000 Did anyone guess why you were here?
12:29:48.000 No, there's a couple fans that came up to Tucker, we love you and stuff like that, you know, like four or five people that were here.
12:29:55.000 He must get that in America all the time.
12:29:58.000 He can't go anywhere in America.
12:29:59.000 Yeah.
12:30:00.000 He used to be able to travel to Europe, no one came up to him.
12:30:02.000 But he was saying last night, he was like, well, coming to Europe now is a little different, you know.
12:30:08.000 He says Twitter's international.
12:30:09.000 It is, yeah.
12:30:10.000 It's worldwide.
12:30:10.000 Yeah, it's a big deal, bro.
12:30:15.000 Bro, him going to Twitter is fucking huge.
12:30:18.000 Legendary move.
12:30:19.000 I'm so happy about that.
12:30:22.000 Twelve minutes?
12:30:24.000 Alright, we'll see you then.
12:30:25.000 Keep that door closed.
12:30:27.000 Just, like, one centimeter open.
12:30:29.000 If any more flies fly in here, I'm gonna be pissed.
12:30:32.000 Emory Tate.
12:30:40.000 That is...
12:30:41.000 Emory is Andrew's...
12:30:43.000 Technically, it's Andrew's name.
12:30:44.000 So my father was Emory Andrew Tate, and his father was Emory Andrew Tate.
12:30:48.000 And my mother hated the name Emery.
12:30:51.000 So when he was born, they agreed to call him Andrew Tate.
12:30:54.000 And she was all like half dead in the delivery room.
12:30:56.000 So he goes, don't worry, I'll go fill out the paperwork for Emery Andrew Tate III.
12:31:00.000 So his whole life we called him Andrew.
12:31:01.000 I didn't even find out his technical name was Emery until I was like six or seven years old.
12:31:04.000 So his name on paper is Emery Andrew Tate, but everyone's always called him Andrew.
12:31:08.000 It's not even something he's adopted.
12:31:10.000 And then my mom fell for it again.
12:31:12.000 You don't have a middle name?
12:31:13.000 this argument about my middle name. So Tristan Tate and my mother wanted to give me some gay ass middle name that my father hated. So again, he tricks her, she's in the living room, don't worry I'll go fill out the paperwork, left my middle name blank.
12:31:26.000 You don't have a middle name? No, no, no. So my dad just hustled her twice on the names. So T.T.?
12:31:32.000 Tristan Tate, that's it. My mother had a middle name planned for me, I don't know what it was, I'd have to ask her. So you guys built this from scratch or what It was a failed project.
12:31:44.000 It was a warehouse that a guy had turned into a house very badly on a very low budget.
12:31:48.000 So me and Andrew took it over and spent a lot of money just doing it the way we like.
12:31:53.000 The cigar room was a very poor, put together cinema.
12:31:56.000 It was crappy looking when we first came in here.
12:32:00.000 We rented it for about one year and then we bought it afterwards.
12:32:05.000 Did it go up in value after you bought it?
12:32:06.000 Guys, don't panic.
12:32:08.000 Andrew and Tristan will be back in the cell as soon as possible.
12:32:12.000 They have to go and sign these papers as part of a judiciary control.
12:32:16.000 It's completely out of our control.
12:32:17.000 We will have them back in that cell as soon as we can.
12:32:21.000 It's not dangerous for saying women can't drive.
12:32:22.000 Who gives a fuck about that?
12:32:23.000 that and that's not important.
12:32:30.000 I hear a car pulling up and it's 1142.
12:32:35.000 Thank you.
12:32:36.000 Good, thank you.
12:32:37.000 No problem, man.
12:32:39.000 You're a perfectionist.
12:32:39.000 I like that.
12:32:42.000 Alex, step outside and look up and down the road.
12:32:44.000 Gentlemen, how you doing?
12:32:45.000 Good, how are you?
12:32:46.000 Hey.
12:32:46.000 How are you?
12:32:47.000 Good to see you, bro.
12:32:47.000 Good to see you.
12:32:48.000 Amazing, as always.
12:32:49.000 Hey.
12:32:49.000 Nice to meet you, bro.
12:32:51.000 Tristan.
12:32:51.000 Hello.
12:32:52.000 Hello.
12:32:52.000 This is beautiful.
12:32:53.000 Nice to see you.
12:32:54.000 Thank you.
12:32:54.000 It's my first time in Romania.
12:32:55.000 I'm loving it.
12:32:55.000 You enjoying it?
12:32:57.000 It's awesome.
12:32:57.000 I walked around the city for a while yesterday.
12:32:59.000 Yeah.
12:32:59.000 It's such a beautiful place.
12:33:00.000 Yeah, I know.
12:33:01.000 I know.
12:33:01.000 I don't leave here for no reason.
12:33:02.000 Oh, I get that.
12:33:03.000 It's beautiful.
12:33:04.000 You rave about it for a reason.
12:33:05.000 Hey, guys.
12:33:06.000 Hey.
12:33:06.000 How are you?
12:33:07.000 Good, man.
12:33:07.000 Good to see you again.
12:33:08.000 Hey, hey, hey.
12:33:08.000 Thank you for having me.
12:33:09.000 Good to meet you.
12:33:09.000 Hey, good to meet you.
12:33:10.000 Tucker's nephew.
12:33:11.000 Ah, OK, cool.
12:33:12.000 Part of the resistance, eh?
12:33:14.000 Yeah, right?
12:33:14.000 Yeah.
12:33:15.000 Sometimes I'm bored.
12:33:16.000 Good.
12:33:17.000 I'm going to stay in the shade.
12:33:19.000 Yeah.
12:33:20.000 Yeah, you're in a nice suit.
12:33:22.000 Yep.
12:33:23.000 How you doing?
12:33:30.000 I'm totally bewildered.
12:33:31.000 I come out and meet you, but I step one foot over this line, it's back to jail.
12:33:35.000 Tucker Carlson.
12:33:36.000 Tucker, a pleasure.
12:33:36.000 Tristan Tate.
12:33:37.000 It's so nice to meet you.
12:33:38.000 Great to meet you too, man.
12:33:39.000 What a trip this is.
12:33:40.000 I'm a huge admirer.
12:33:43.000 This is like...
12:33:44.000 You're the famous one, bro.
12:33:45.000 You're the famous one.
12:33:46.000 Not me.
12:33:47.000 I've never been starstruck in my life, but here I am.
12:33:51.000 Hey, Tucker Carlson.
12:33:52.000 Nice to meet you.
12:33:52.000 Nice to meet you.
12:33:53.000 Are you American?
12:33:54.000 Yes, very.
12:33:55.000 What are you doing here?
12:33:55.000 I got a couple friends, you know.
12:33:57.000 One flew across the world to go to jail.
12:33:59.000 You smell tobacco.
12:34:03.000 Well, it's good hunting and fishing here.
12:34:04.000 I wish I could take you, but unfortunately... I wanna go to Transylvania.
12:34:07.000 Oh, bro, it's amazing.
12:34:08.000 It's amazing.
12:34:09.000 Is it?
12:34:09.000 It's amazing.
12:34:10.000 You have to go on credit.
12:34:11.000 That's the only car they left me with.
12:34:13.000 A 1979 Lada built in the USSR.
12:34:14.000 No way!
12:34:15.000 Yeah, I bought it just for shits and giggles, but they took everything of value.
12:34:18.000 They didn't want that one.
12:34:18.000 They took all our... We had a bunch of...
12:34:21.000 I like it too, and they fucked up because Yeah, I do and the moment they let me out of this house That's gonna become the most famous car in the world cuz I'm gonna be wrong.
12:34:29.000 So you literally can't leave the house No, no back to jail if I step foot over ice coffee Yeah, I don't want coffee Yeah I've got it.
12:34:42.000 We have to clear this table though.
12:34:44.000 Is that tapes?
12:34:45.000 Yeah, that's fine.
12:34:46.000 OK.
12:34:46.000 Sparkling water and coffee, that's a.
12:34:55.000 That's our, most of our diet.
12:34:56.000 Drink the fucking water.
12:34:58.000 Drink the fucking water.
12:35:00.000 Get it in your mouth.
12:35:03.000 In your little, like a tiny pack.
12:35:05.000 Take in a sip every, every ten minutes.
12:35:07.000 Yes.
12:35:08.000 Come on, come on.
12:35:17.000 I had flair to her.
12:35:19.000 I was totally consumed.
12:35:20.000 Yeah, I know.
12:35:21.000 It's awesome.
12:35:23.000 This is so fucking old school!
12:35:25.000 I know, this is a real...
12:35:27.000 Sick.
12:35:27.000 Hey, you're in there.
12:35:28.000 See you later.
12:35:29.000 Yeah.
12:35:31.000 Let's go.
12:35:32.000 Oh, okay.
12:35:34.000 Okay.
12:35:35.000 Oh, okay.
12:35:37.000 Okay.
12:35:38.000 Oh, it's right there?
12:35:54.000 Uh-huh.
12:35:55.000 One-way mirror is as standard.
12:35:59.000 Oh, okay.
12:36:00.000 I... I don't know why.
12:36:17.000 I like shitty old stick shifts, I just do.
12:36:20.000 Tells you something.
12:36:22.000 Thank you.
12:36:23.000 That was great.
12:36:25.000 Did you turn the key all the way to the left?
12:36:26.000 Otherwise the battery's half on it, it drains.
12:36:28.000 Now we're talking.
12:36:29.000 He's the best.
12:36:30.000 It's got a choke.
12:36:31.000 Yeah, it's got a choke.
12:36:32.000 When it doesn't start in the cold.
12:36:34.000 I think it's that right there.
12:36:51.000 Maybe to the side.
12:36:55.000 These are some of the well built.
12:37:07.000 Some of these parts are from a newer Lada.
12:37:09.000 The electric ignition is from a newer Lada.
12:37:11.000 New battery.
12:37:12.000 I've got it all ready to go before they let me out of house arrest.
12:37:14.000 Let's clean this up.
12:37:15.000 I'm gonna tear this city up.
12:37:16.000 Yeah, I mean, it's a four-cylinder overhead valve.
12:37:21.000 It's a pretty modern engine, actually.
12:37:22.000 I doubt that's original.
12:37:24.000 Yeah.
12:37:26.000 Well, I mean, I don't know... The top and this look different from when I had it a month ago.
12:37:31.000 I got this all rebuilt.
12:37:33.000 I'm going to be doing a lot of work on this.
12:38:59.000 So, now apparently I'm in here until they get back.
12:39:05.000 How's that fair?
12:39:07.000 I did do nothing wrong.
12:39:10.000 Well, I guess neither did they, but I'm still gonna mess their cell up.
12:39:15.000 What have we got in here?
12:39:17.000 Cigarettes.
12:39:24.000 Please tell me they didn't take the lighter.
12:39:41.000 Did they take off the lighter?
12:39:48.000 This is what I had.
12:39:55.000 I don't know.
12:40:10.000 I don't know.
12:40:29.000 Funny thing is, I haven't been in a cell in years.
12:40:34.000 I was arrested a few times.
12:40:36.000 But you know, you grow up, you know.
12:40:45.000 Bye.
12:40:46.000 I was arrested for stupid shit.
12:40:49.000 fighting in pubs and silly things.
12:40:56.000 These cigarettes are a load of arse.
12:41:04.000 These cigarettes are a load of arse.
12:41:11.000 Thank you.
12:41:12.000 What even are these?
12:41:16.000 Chesterfield.
12:41:17.000 I might...
12:41:23.000 mess up their cell a little bit while they're gone, you know? I haven't got to be in here all day.
12:41:30.000 So I might sabotage their cell a bit.
12:41:34.000 And put noodle wrappers in the toilet.
12:41:44.000 I guess I could just take a nice stinky poo and leave it there for one.
12:41:50.000 That would get them, wouldn't it?
12:41:53.000 That would certainly get them.
12:41:54.000 But I'm not going to do that.
12:41:58.000 I was going to do that on the floor, get Tristan for real.
12:42:01.000 What can I do in the meantime?
12:42:11.000 What would annoy Andrew?
12:42:13.000 I guess at some point Andrew's gonna train, isn't he?
12:42:27.000 He's going to do some push-ups.
12:42:30.000 Sure of it, I can see it coming.
12:42:33.000 So maybe, maybe, I soak the floor so he has to do wet push-ups and then get back in his bed, wet hands and wet feet.
12:42:46.000 I've read again.
12:42:47.000 I imagine in the cell that they were in that the floor was cold wet.
12:43:11.000 So let's make it a bit more at home.
12:43:18.000 I'll keep topping the water up.
12:43:36.000 There's a battle raging for your mind.
12:43:41.000 If they fail to brainwash you, then they will try their best to restrict your body.
12:43:46.000 They will do anything it takes to stop you from telling others the truth.
12:43:51.000 Coffee floor.
12:44:21.000 Anxi, coffee, wet cold floor.
12:44:24.000 In a world of shadows and bonding chains, the time for liberation is near.
12:44:49.000 With unmatched perspicacity, wisdom is revealed.
12:44:52.000 Your mind, body, and spirit are sharpened, and endless possibilities unfold.
12:44:58.000 So stand strong, defy conformity, and rise above.
12:45:02.000 Your destiny knows no bounds.
12:45:04.000 Resist the sleep custom in there I've been locked up Boom.
12:45:22.000 Bye.
12:45:24.000 Tristan didn't eat his egg.
12:45:26.000 I can now smell the coffee on the floor.
12:45:51.000 Cool.
12:45:51.000 Bye.
12:45:53.000 Nice.
12:45:57.000 Maybe if it starts to evaporate as the day goes on it'll caffeinate them more because they're breathing it in.
12:46:05.000 Superpower caffeinated oxygen.
12:46:09.000 humid, caffeinated oxygen.
12:46:21.000 Thank you.
12:46:23.000 They didn't.
12:46:24.000 They sent me on my own.
12:46:25.000 This isn't fair.
12:46:26.000 I haven't got anyone.
12:46:26.000 This is Solitary.
12:46:33.000 No booze in here.
12:46:55.000 Just water.
12:46:57.000 Hot water.
12:47:11.000 Mhm.
12:48:20.000 you There's a battle raging for your mind.
12:48:26.000 If they fail to brainwash you, then they will try their best to restrict your body.
12:48:31.000 They will do anything it takes to stop you from telling others the truth.
12:48:35.000 There is a battle raging for your mind.
12:48:48.000 If they fail to brainwash you, then they will try their best to restrict your body.
12:48:53.000 They will do anything it takes to stop you from telling others the truth.
12:48:58.000 You You
12:49:02.000 you
12:50:30.000 It definitely should have put someone else in here with me me.
12:50:50.000 I feel that I'm sitting in solitary by myself.
12:50:55.000 There's no one even to talk to.
12:50:57.000 I think that people should say in the chat that I deserve a cellmate, right?
12:51:09.000 It's only fair.
12:51:10.000 I mean, I shouldn't even be here.
12:51:13.000 I went from narrator to prisoner.
12:51:37.000 .
12:51:39.000 In two minutes.
12:51:40.000 It took two minutes.
12:51:47.000 It's annoying that the boys had to go and sign papers.
12:52:04.000 Peace.
12:52:06.000 Not gonna lie.
12:52:07.000 But I guess when they were in jail they would have had to go to court and things like that anyway, so... It doesn't really change anything.
12:52:14.000 It's the same as what would have happened if they were in jail, so... I guess it's an exemption, isn't it?
12:52:19.000 If I gave you a million dollars right now, you would not have a sparkle in your eye that women respect.
12:52:24.000 You would not have that depth of your character that men respect.
12:52:28.000 But if I teach you how to make a million dollars, and you make a million dollars with your own grit and determination, that million dollars becomes far more valuable because you are a more important person.
12:52:37.000 It's not just about giving a man a fish, it's about teaching a man to fish.
12:52:40.000 And once the man knows how to fish, he has an unspoken aura.
12:52:44.000 Something changes about him that makes that money much more valuable.
12:52:47.000 And it's detectable.
12:52:48.000 Being a rich dork who just found some money on a crypto pump is not a life worth living.
12:52:52.000 You need to make that money because as you make that money, you learn everything about negotiation, networking, you learn everything about stress and hard work and determination.
12:52:59.000 And those things is going to change your soul and forge you into a man which is respected by your peers and also respected by the females that you're trying to attract.
12:53:07.000 And they're going to look at you in a way where they're going to know.
12:53:09.000 Ah, I can actually trust this man.
12:53:11.000 He didn't find this money.
12:53:12.000 He didn't get this money lucky.
12:53:13.000 He earned it.
12:53:14.000 He's the kind of man who never fails and never loses.
12:53:16.000 And that's why it's so important that you earn money.
12:53:18.000 Even if I could give you all a million dollars right now, I wouldn't do it.
12:53:20.000 It wouldn't be good for you.
12:53:21.000 It would be detrimental for you.
12:53:22.000 Most of you are not ready for wealth.
12:53:23.000 You have to go out there and earn it yourselves.
12:53:25.000 We teach absolutely everything on corporatecake.com.
12:53:27.000 Our email list is completely free.
12:53:28.000 Hustle University costs less than the lunch you ate yesterday.
12:53:31.000 We'll teach you how to make money with 18 modern wealth creation methods and the network you're looking for exists inside the world.
12:53:35.000 The answers to the dream life you have been looking for already exist.
12:53:38.000 If we only exist amongst the month, we're gonna end up with some money.
12:53:41.000 That is why you're inside of Hustlers University.
12:53:44.000 I'm gonna let me take a picture man, I'm gonna leave it on the wall.
12:54:10.000 I'm a big fan. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go. Next time for a drink.
12:54:15.000 ♪ At this vantage point by the steepest cliff slices of five hundred feet He's a satisfaction fictitious, you happy mood's naive ♪ Now I've read in the wide, revised diet of your SIM ♪ Traveling down your list without ceiling ろَ Pew편 $50 ♪ I'm relaxing, you're leaving ♪ Satisfaction ♪ is
12:54:44.000 ♪ I'm not complaining, I'm not complaining Best car ever ♪ I can drive through smoke, beers, and a beat, I'm a pro ♪ There's a ton of us, I gotta be the five car ♪ We got the one man on ♪ Can I get a photo?
12:55:05.000 ♪ Get ready lads, we're mature now ♪ I think I broke it ♪ I broke it ♪ I broke it I know I'm the only one ♪ I broke it ♪ I broke it ♪
12:55:33.000 I broke it ♪ I broke it How much is the tire on your car?
12:55:54.000 Remind me of the bus stop.
12:55:55.000 Yeah, it already is.
12:55:56.000 That car costs less than the insurance.
12:55:59.000 How much is the tyre on your car?
12:56:02.000 No, the Bugatti tyre is more than a lot.
12:56:04.000 Is Andrew back?
12:56:08.000 Yeah, he is.
12:56:09.000 I figured that the cells that you were in jail would have been cold and wet.
12:56:16.000 It wouldn't have been nice to do exercise on.
12:56:20.000 It's worse though in some ways.
12:56:21.000 What do you think about it?
12:56:25.000 Freezing cold.
12:56:26.000 Two people on a super cold floor.
12:56:27.000 Yeah.
12:56:28.000 It's gayer.
12:56:29.000 But we wanted to make it more realistic, right?
12:56:31.000 So we need to do it on a cold and wet floor.
12:56:33.000 There's no cockroaches, bro.
12:56:37.000 Unfortunately, there are.
12:56:40.000 So I understand you're playing holding stuff, yeah?
12:56:43.000 Yeah, I explained to...
12:56:44.000 Oh, here.
12:56:45.000 Bye.
12:56:45.000 Thank you.
12:56:46.000 Thank you.
12:56:48.000 Here I am.
12:56:50.000 I explained... There are 8,000 people.
12:56:51.000 Alright, get the fuck out of my cell.
12:56:57.000 It's gonna be a long day, bro.
12:56:59.000 Get the fuck out of my cell.
12:57:00.000 I don't wanna be in your cell.
12:57:01.000 In fact, I'll be in solitary by myself.
12:57:03.000 At least you'd have... Fuck off!
12:57:04.000 And give Anthony slippers.
12:57:05.000 Where is Anthony?
12:57:08.000 Yeah, to be fair, I'm not gonna take Anthony's slippers.
12:57:10.000 That's not fair.
12:57:12.000 I'd rather be in jail by myself.
12:57:40.000 I had to go to the police station, because I'm still actually in jail.
12:57:46.000 First my jail cell was a room.
12:57:49.000 Then my jail cell was my house.
12:57:51.000 And now my jail cell is this city.
12:57:55.000 So I have to go and sign a piece of paper so the police know that I'm still actually spending my time in the city.
12:58:01.000 in jail and now i'm back in jail I'm back in my jail.
12:58:14.000 I might live in here forever.
12:58:15.000 I might never leave.
12:58:19.000 Oh, look who's back.
12:58:33.000 Morning!
12:58:34.000 Spilled the water, did ya?
12:58:36.000 No, Rory did.
12:58:37.000 Why the fuck did Rory spill water all over the floor?
12:58:44.000 I know.
12:58:45.000 That's what I was thinking.
12:58:47.000 He's a cunt.
12:58:48.000 So, welcome back to jail.
12:58:50.000 Thanks.
12:58:52.000 Well, you know what they say...
12:58:58.000 I'm having a traditional jail breakfast.
12:59:07.000 Chesterfield.
12:59:10.000 An egg and a cigarette is a pretty traditional jail breakfast.
12:59:13.000 It is.
12:59:14.000 Can't go wrong with an egg and a cigarette.
12:59:16.000 Don't really want to peel the egg though.
12:59:30.000 Peeling the egg is very annoying.
12:59:33.000 My hand's all peggy.
12:59:35.000 It's another day in jail.
12:59:49.000 So I'm thinking, Andrew, instead of staying here for 24 hours, why don't we stay for 92 days?
12:59:54.000 Starting now.
12:59:56.000 Some of the good idea Um...
13:00:05.000 Um... The outside world can't bother us.
13:00:10.000 All the horrible things outside of these doors, like fresh air and human company, can infect my mind.
13:00:17.000 You promised last night you were going to set yourself on fire this morning.
13:00:20.000 I did promise last night I was going to set myself on fire this morning.
13:00:23.000 I'm starting with a cigarette.
13:00:25.000 You don't want to let the world think you're a liar now, do you?
13:00:30.000 you. Where are the menthol cigarettes? Are you having fun eating your egg?
13:00:49.000 How was your breakfast?
13:00:59.000 Bread and an egg.
13:01:00.000 That was a good breakfast if we got it.
13:01:02.000 But there's always just the one egg.
13:01:09.000 That was not terrible.
13:01:13.000 Thank you.
13:01:17.000 You fucked up.
13:01:18.000 You didn't wake up and wrap it in the towel.
13:01:21.000 We're slipping on our technique.
13:01:27.000 I bet I could still make instant coffee with it.
13:01:28.000 it. You cunt. I bet I could still make him some coffee with nice cold water.
13:01:37.000 That's what I'm talking about. I'll see you at traditional jail breakfast, mate.
13:01:48.000 That certainly is traditional.
13:02:11.000 Spoonful of coffee, full pools on the Chesterfield.
13:02:15.000 I'm gonna sit in there peeling an egg like a loser, am I?
13:02:18.000 You want your breakfast?
13:02:29.000 I want a special coffee.
13:02:33.000 Well, you let the war go cold, and that's our own fault.
13:02:36.000 Well, you can just get replaced and then halt war.
13:02:38.000 We woke up when the guards searched the room, and we didn't take the war and wrap it in a towel because we're amateurs.
13:02:46.000 Are you listening?
13:02:47.000 We've lost the technique of jail living.
13:02:51.000 I feel like we need to spend more time here to get back used to it.
13:02:57.000 I'll sell you my egg for 12 cigarettes.
13:03:00.000 I'll steal your egg.
13:03:02.000 You won't steal my egg.
13:03:04.000 We will.
13:03:04.000 You won't.
13:03:05.000 I made a shank last night.
13:03:11.000 I made a shank last night.
13:03:12.000 If you try and steal my egg, I will kill you.
13:03:14.000 I want you to know that.
13:03:17.000 Live on Rumble.
13:03:18.000 Most viral stream ever.
13:03:22.000 Tate Brothers.
13:03:22.000 Hundreds of millions of dollars in net worth.
13:03:24.000 stab each other to death over egg.
13:03:26.000 In fact, I'm gonna eat my egg.
13:03:32.000 How's the bread?
13:03:50.000 It's good.
13:03:52.000 It was a really good day in jail when with your egg you got a slice of sour cheese.
13:04:20.000 What do you think a fair amount of time would have been to actually hold us in jail?
13:04:24.000 Thank you.
13:04:26.000 Zero?
13:04:27.000 I think a forgivable amount of time would have been 48 hours.
13:04:34.000 48 hours is a forgivable amount of time for an innocent man.
13:04:39.000 Especially when you have all the evidence that proves you're completely innocent.
13:04:45.000 Like CCTV.
13:04:47.000 Like the false accuser literally admitting it.
13:04:51.000 And they had that the whole time.
13:04:52.000 I think 48 hours would have been acceptable. And forgivable.
13:05:03.000 I'll trade you my egg for 12 cigarettes.
13:05:13.000 Rumor has it, because I can't read the Rumble chatroom, but rumor has it, Andrew, you're too scared to eat a spoonful of coffee.
13:05:23.000 I doubt that's a rumor.
13:05:25.000 I think it is.
13:05:27.000 I reckon right now people are spamming the chat with Andrew's too scared to eat his morning spoonful of coffee.
13:05:33.000 Mmm.
13:05:41.000 Good egg.
13:05:42.000 Eat your fucking coffee.
13:05:52.000 I'll make a coffee in a minute.
13:05:56.000 Wait for the floor to dry.
13:05:58.000 So you're scared?
13:06:13.000 Bye.
13:06:15.000 Yeah.
13:06:15.000 Yeah.
13:06:15.000 Afraid.
13:06:19.000 What's today's Quran verse?
13:06:30.000 I don't know.
13:06:33.000 Go find out.
13:06:35.000 And I'll see you next time.
13:06:42.000 Mm.
13:06:43.000 Bye.
13:06:44.000 Good breakfast.
13:06:46.000 I'm gonna write a letter.
13:07:05.000 Bye.
13:07:09.000 Like in jail.
13:07:10.000 Write letters to our home country's embassies.
13:07:12.000 So they can tell us to fuck off and rot in jail.
13:07:16.000 Hi.
13:07:18.000 I'm a citizen of your country.
13:07:21.000 I've been falsely imprisoned.
13:07:23.000 Please can you assist me?
13:07:26.000 No. Losers.
13:07:30.000 Okay.
13:07:54.000 Smoke a fucking cigarette.
13:08:15.000 Why'd you throw the lighter down the crack in my bed, you prick?
13:08:18.000 Oh, because I hate you and everything you stand for.
13:08:22.000 The sight of your face fills me with anger and rage.
13:08:24.000 Ah, the first jail cigarette of the day.
13:08:37.000 Thank you.
13:08:39.000 You know, Snow, it's gonna be a good day when you wake up in jail and smoke a cigarette for breakfast, you know?
13:08:44.000 You just know it's going to be a pleasant day.
13:08:51.000 Don't we get mail at some point?
13:08:55.000 Yeah, mail comes in 10 minutes.
13:08:58.000 And the mail is super chats that people have been sending us.
13:09:03.000 Nice.
13:09:05.000 Okay.
13:10:05.000 Four ducks live in a pond in the middle of a forest.
13:10:10.000 Do you want to hear a genuinely really hilarious joke?
13:10:22.000 It's really funny, do you want to hear it?
13:10:30.000 What did the strong inmate say to the weak inmate in jail?
13:10:34.000 Eat your fucking coffee.
13:10:39.000 It's a good joke, isn't it?
13:10:46.000 Why do you think calling me weak is an insult?
13:10:47.000 It's 2023, being strong doesn't matter.
13:10:50.000 Oh, being strong doesn't matter.
13:10:52.000 So like, if I had gone to jail in Romania with all those criminals and I was just weak, it wouldn't matter at all.
13:11:00.000 They'd just leave me alone, wouldn't they?
13:11:02.000 Yeah, because you're a feminist.
13:11:06.000 So if I was weak and I was a feminist and I had blue or pink hair and I went to Romanian jail, it's fine because you don't need to be strong anymore.
13:11:12.000 I just explain to the violent psychopaths in jail.
13:11:15.000 Correct.
13:11:16.000 Who have been in jail for 20 years since before the world was this way.
13:11:20.000 Correct.
13:11:21.000 That being physically strong and powerful doesn't matter at all.
13:11:25.000 And we're all equals in the jail cell.
13:11:27.000 Correct.
13:11:29.000 Or, or thought experiment.
13:11:31.000 Would that weak, blue-haired, pink-haired feminist be fucking cleaning everyone's shoes and tidying the room and doing foot massages and blowjobs?
13:11:41.000 Strength is real.
13:11:42.000 You need to be strong.
13:11:44.000 No, you don't.
13:11:46.000 I take back everything I've ever taught.
13:11:48.000 You take back everything you've ever taught?
13:11:51.000 It's important that you're an ally to the community.
13:11:58.000 What community?
13:11:59.000 Do I have to guess?
13:12:03.000 All right, if you had the power, would you rather have superhuman strength or superhuman empathy?
13:12:13.000 I already have superhuman strength.
13:12:15.000 I would choose superhuman empathy and be weak.
13:12:18.000 You know, all the Greek philosophers, all of them, although you imagine them as old men wearing robes because they did eventually get old, were all soldiers and athletes.
13:12:34.000 All of them.
13:12:36.000 Plato isn't even Plato's name.
13:12:38.000 Plato means broad, like wide.
13:12:41.000 It was his wrestling name and no one knows his real name.
13:12:45.000 It's the equivalent of like in 2000 years time, Dwayne Johnson just being known as The Rock and his real name being lost to history.
13:12:53.000 So Plato, one of the greatest philosophers, goes by his wrestling name and his wrestling name is broad because he was big and scary.
13:13:00.000 I'm the greatest philosopher and I go by the name Top G.
13:13:02.000 You are a bit like a modern day philosopher.
13:13:05.000 For the record guys, Andrew and Tristan cannot see the chat.
13:13:29.000 They have a TV behind the camera with a Romanian channel playing but we're playing it on mute simply because otherwise it interferes with the microphones.
13:13:39.000 They cannot see the chat.
13:13:41.000 Philosophy for the strong will have its What is it?
13:13:49.000 We'll have a society ruled by cowards and its wars fought by idiots.
13:13:53.000 It's thinking done by cowards.
13:13:55.000 Yeah, yeah, that's it.
13:13:56.000 It's something done by... We'll have a thinking done by cowards and its battles fought by fools.
13:14:06.000 It's very true.
13:14:07.000 And here we are today.
13:14:08.000 Here we are today.
13:14:17.000 Very few world leaders are physically intimidating.
13:14:19.000 .
13:14:22.000 President of Mongolia is G. You won't want to fight the president of Mongolia.
13:14:25.000 I have faith in that country because the President's a hench.
13:14:32.000 Burkina Faso, he's a warrior.
13:14:36.000 I have faith in that country because the President's a hench.
13:15:04.000 I have faith in that country because the President's a hench.
13:15:21.000 I don't think you'd be welcome.
13:15:24.000 Why?
13:15:26.000 You're a dickhead.
13:15:29.000 Why wouldn't I be welcome in the Amish community?
13:15:31.000 You're a dickhead.
13:15:33.000 I don't think that's a requirement.
13:15:36.000 I don't think being a dickhead disqualifies you from being in the Amish community because I bet there are plenty of Amish dickheads.
13:15:42.000 I've never heard an Amish person call another Amish person a dickhead.
13:15:45.000 I've never really heard an Amish person.
13:15:47.000 Where are you going to hear them?
13:15:49.000 On the radio?
13:15:49.000 I can join a community you've never heard.
13:15:52.000 I've seen them.
13:15:54.000 I spoke to him at length and we all talked about me and every single Amish person.
13:15:57.000 I had a meeting with the Amish and they said look.
13:15:59.000 You're not welcome.
13:16:01.000 Ezekiel told me.
13:16:04.000 Ezekiel's a G name.
13:16:06.000 Ezekiel is a G name.
13:16:11.000 I need to bring the name Ezekiel back.
13:16:14.000 Ezekiel Tate.
13:16:15.000 I might fucking use that if I have a son.
13:16:17.000 Think of all the things we could have accomplished in 92 days of not being locked in a room.
13:16:29.000 I'm not going to be locked in a room.
13:16:43.000 . .
13:16:46.000 We need to get some marble statues made.
13:16:48.000 faith.
13:16:54.000 Thanks.
13:16:59.000 Listening.
13:17:00.000 Thank you.
13:17:01.000 you.
13:17:02.000 We need marble statues of us made.
13:17:03.000 You heard the man.
13:17:10.000 Thank you.
13:17:11.000 Thank you very much.
13:17:13.000 Thanks.
13:17:14.000 Nice.
13:17:14.000 cut the pile in half Right.
13:17:44.000 First, you and me.
13:17:47.000 Well, most of these are just thank you messages.
13:17:49.000 Let's go through one by one.
13:17:52.000 Well, then it's time to go on to Fresh and Fit.
13:17:55.000 I would like to do Fresh and Fit soon, but I think that's also going to be one of the most important podcasts to do when all of this is completely over.
13:18:05.000 We can speak absolutely freely.
13:18:07.000 Yeah.
13:18:08.000 Yeah.
13:18:09.000 Full expose.
13:18:11.000 Buy yourself some JL6, thank you very much.
13:18:14.000 Can I come visit you for one day, Andrew and Tristan?
13:18:16.000 No, you can't, because I don't know who you are, and you're probably not interesting, so I don't want to talk to you.
13:18:22.000 Yeah, I want you to understand at home, I appreciate the messages of, hi, I want to come visit you, hi, I want to come see you, hi, can you mentor me, hi, can I come work for you, I'll be... Thousands of messages read that exact same thing per day.
13:18:35.000 If I need anyone for anything, I can find them within the war room, one.
13:18:40.000 Two, In a day and age when I get hundreds of letters every day, 99 from fans who adore me and one from assassins threatening to kill my family, if you come to my gate I'm not going to walk out and talk to you.
13:18:54.000 I don't know who you are.
13:18:55.000 I don't know if you're an enemy or a friend.
13:18:59.000 So although I might be polite if you see me on the street, don't come to my house. No, you cannot come visit me.
13:19:07.000 Max Wood sent six messages.
13:19:14.000 I I can't put into words how grateful I am.
13:19:19.000 When you're gone I'll be telling the story of Andrew Tristan Tate to my grandchildren's children.
13:19:23.000 The Tates we trust.
13:19:31.000 Blah blah blah.
13:19:32.000 I'm going to the gym, I'm making myself healthier.
13:19:34.000 All the usual stuff.
13:19:35.000 Well good for you Max.
13:19:39.000 you to be a better version of yourself.
13:19:42.000 PotionSeller96, God bless you, takes his $20 for his Tate Pledge that I hope goes to good use.
13:19:48.000 It does.
13:19:49.000 I guarantee Tate Pledge is the most efficient charity on the planet.
13:19:51.000 All these other charities, less than 10% of the money ends up helping people.
13:19:54.000 Tate Pledge, all the money.
13:19:56.000 Bureaucracy, staff, we have people on the ground who spend all the money we send them helping the people we intend to help.
13:20:04.000 That's it.
13:20:05.000 We take zero money, zero admin fees, zero anything, and we just keep throwing money into it.
13:20:10.000 Best charity in the world.
13:20:11.000 So yeah, it'll go to very good use.
13:20:12.000 If you only had to tell yourself one sentence to push yourself as hard as possible, what would it be?
13:20:18.000 Depends on the scenario, I guess.
13:20:19.000 But it's a good question.
13:20:20.000 Come back to that one.
13:20:21.000 If you're a young man and you're at home, maybe the man who wrote that, what I would say is this.
13:20:29.000 Because you're asking us for advice and you're asking us for help, and we get asked for help and advice all the time.
13:20:34.000 I would look myself in the mirror, I'd take off my shirt, in shape or out of shape, I'd look at my fat body, or maybe you're out of shape, or maybe you're in shape, I don't know, and I'd look myself in the eyes and I'd say, only you can help yourself.
13:20:50.000 That's what I would say to myself.
13:20:52.000 Because a lot of people reach out to me for advice and they reach out to me thinking that a message from me is going to change their life, but it isn't.
13:21:00.000 You've got the power to change your own life, right there with you, right now.
13:21:04.000 Nothing I say or do is going to make you do the work.
13:21:08.000 So, no, you're in control of yourself.
13:21:10.000 I said, hey, haha, hey.
13:21:11.000 Okay, I know what a song that is.
13:21:15.000 I don't need to hear that again.
13:21:17.000 Thank you for everything, Andrew Tristan.
13:21:19.000 Very welcome.
13:21:20.000 We are the Top G's.
13:21:21.000 I love you guys so much.
13:21:22.000 I try to message you every day.
13:21:23.000 I want to bring you chocolate when my passport comes.
13:21:25.000 Thank you for bringing people closer to God.
13:21:28.000 from a young woman of God.
13:21:32.000 Female fans, which we have a lot of.
13:21:34.000 People underestimate how many women actually adore us.
13:21:38.000 I know you, Tristan, are holding it down.
13:21:40.000 Keep up the good work.
13:21:41.000 God is with you.
13:21:41.000 I'll see you when you get out.
13:21:42.000 Inshallah from Walgreens. Central Europe.
13:21:49.000 I'm about to go running.
13:21:50.000 Just for the discipline.
13:21:51.000 Keep killing it, you guys.
13:21:52.000 Don't let them win.
13:21:52.000 Big respect from Slovakia.
13:21:54.000 Thank you, Jaeger Samba.
13:21:55.000 Slovakia is Eastern Europe.
13:21:57.000 I'm sick of you all saying Central Europe.
13:21:59.000 You're just trying to disassociate yourselves from the other Slavs and the Romanians and pretend that you're different.
13:22:04.000 Eastern Europe.
13:22:05.000 Slovakia is Eastern Europe.
13:22:08.000 Well, technically, it's more west in parts of Italy and... There's a line called the Iron Curtain.
13:22:15.000 East of the Iron Curtain is Eastern Europe.
13:22:17.000 West of the Iron Curtain is Western Europe.
13:22:18.000 There is no Central Europe.
13:22:19.000 You are a Slavic people.
13:22:21.000 Stop saying Central Europe.
13:22:23.000 Only Slovaks and Czechs do this, and it makes you sound retarded.
13:22:27.000 You're welcome.
13:22:28.000 Good night, Takes.
13:22:28.000 Hope you're doing well.
13:22:29.000 I've not had any life experiences.
13:22:32.000 Should I join the War Room?
13:22:33.000 You should join the War Room whether you've had experiences or not.
13:22:35.000 Because without a brotherhood and a strong network, you're always going to be an unimportant loser.
13:22:39.000 So you already know the answer to the question.
13:22:41.000 I'm not sure why you're asking me when you know the answer.
13:22:43.000 Swimpimp says, start playing a slide whistle at random times.
13:22:47.000 Well, this is jail.
13:22:48.000 There are no slide whistles.
13:22:50.000 This isn't a fucking fairground.
13:22:55.000 Tristan, here's $10 to pay off Bewitched for your copy of C'est La Vie.
13:22:58.000 I looked them up and they were touring in the UK performing as early as this year.
13:23:02.000 So we can go to a Bewitched concert and you can give them the £10 you owe them.
13:23:05.000 In person.
13:23:06.000 If you're not afraid.
13:23:07.000 What I'll do is I'll just buy tickets to their concert and not show up.
13:23:10.000 That way they've been compensated for copying their CD.
13:23:14.000 Scared, eh?
13:23:16.000 Scared to look them in the eyes and tell them what you've done.
13:23:19.000 Scared to finally face up to it like a man.
13:23:21.000 Typical you.
13:23:24.000 I'm always debating teachers in school who try and spread lies about you.
13:23:37.000 No matter the outcome, you're making history, and you two will be talked about long after you're gone.
13:23:41.000 Thank you for everything.
13:23:42.000 Thank you, guys.
13:23:43.000 And yes, teachers are number one Matrix agents.
13:23:46.000 They don't want to know the truth or spread the truth about anything.
13:23:50.000 But we will win in the end.
13:23:53.000 Good morning, Andrew and Tristan.
13:23:54.000 Interesting stream.
13:23:55.000 Were the lights really on in the real cells all the time?
13:23:58.000 Yes.
13:23:58.000 Yes, they were.
13:24:00.000 They want to make sure that when they look in the cell, they can see what you're up to.
13:24:02.000 They want to make sure no one's trying to kill themselves.
13:24:04.000 So yes, the lights are on at all times.
13:24:06.000 We had a system where we could kind of use a t-shirt to cover it a bit.
13:24:09.000 That made it a bit darker.
13:24:11.000 But yeah, the light was on all the time.
13:24:13.000 Again, this is the same stupid question. We get versions of this all the time.
13:24:25.000 I want you, Mr. Emery and Mr. Tristan, to teach me how to be the best person, not myself.
13:24:29.000 This is my Instagram.
13:24:30.000 One, I don't have Instagram, so I can't contact you.
13:24:33.000 Two, I won't.
13:24:35.000 Because I am not your ticket out of the situation you're in in life.
13:24:39.000 You are your own ticket out of that situation.
13:24:42.000 I was my ticket out of being broke, and being lame, and being uneducated, and being dumb.
13:24:48.000 I fixed that for myself, and you could fix that for yourself.
13:24:51.000 What you can't expect is two multi-millionaires who are intensely busy to start messaging you on Instagram and assisting you in any way with the basic motivation you need to be the best version of yourself, because you already know what you need to do.
13:25:06.000 Train your body, train your mind.
13:25:07.000 I can't do it for you.
13:25:09.000 People are very excited to see your expedition with your mate Neil and Matt Shea.
13:25:13.000 Oh, shut up.
13:25:13.000 On the USS Spectrum.
13:25:15.000 I forgot that was a thing.
13:25:17.000 The world hasn't forgotten, mate.
13:25:21.000 In the process of having a sales job but my boxing gym's only open within a certain time, how do I balance the time?
13:25:29.000 Find a way, but do both.
13:25:31.000 What's the donations to take pledge, which is amazing.
13:25:41.000 Loads.
13:25:42.000 Tiffany Robertson, I'm proud of you reliving this trauma.
13:25:45.000 You know what?
13:25:45.000 This is kind of like reliving the trauma.
13:25:47.000 This reminds me of being in actual prison.
13:25:49.000 It's basically the same.
13:25:50.000 I can't imagine for a second reliving my trauma.
13:25:52.000 I'm very sad that you had to go through this.
13:25:54.000 I sent you a very personal story.
13:25:55.000 Use your phone time to check your X messages.
13:25:58.000 There is no phone time in jail.
13:26:00.000 That doesn't exist, but obviously I will hopefully be released from this relatively soon.
13:26:06.000 And maybe I'll have time to check my X messages, but I'll probably have thousands.
13:26:11.000 We'll see.
13:26:13.000 Sneeko, emergency sleeping.
13:26:16.000 Nice.
13:26:17.000 Nice.
13:26:19.000 Blessings, gentlemen, sending you unlimited energy from Nina, our friend Nina.
13:26:26.000 Grateful for you always, from a girl.
13:26:29.000 Blessings, gentlemen, from a girl as well.
13:26:30.000 The girls love our stuff.
13:26:31.000 They like our stream.
13:26:36.000 You guys are the final piece of the puzzle I've been looking to for years.
13:26:38.000 God led me to you and I was seeking the truth.
13:26:40.000 Thank guys.
13:26:41.000 Thanks guys.
13:26:42.000 From Cobus.
13:26:43.000 Good for you.
13:26:46.000 Thank you.
13:26:50.000 I'm gonna read more later.
13:26:51.000 War is cold, there's nothing in there.
13:26:57.000 Whistling A terminal cancer patient, so I can't pledge more money.
13:27:11.000 I wish I could. I've been to jail.
13:27:14.000 Yeah.
13:27:15.000 We decided before doing this stream that we weren't going to put on a show, do anything crazy, do anything wild.
13:27:27.000 This is not a stream.
13:27:28.000 I'm not a clown.
13:27:30.000 I'm not Pudgy Aiden.
13:27:31.000 If you're listening.
13:27:33.000 I am Tristan Tate and I want you all to see what jail was like.
13:27:37.000 There's no stimulus.
13:27:38.000 There's nothing to prompt conversations.
13:27:41.000 You just hear with your thoughts and your cigarettes.
13:27:45.000 And we occasionally got mail.
13:27:46.000 And the mail read all very much like this.
13:27:49.000 It was all very supportive.
13:27:50.000 So I appreciate all the people, all the real ones who sent me real letters in jail.
13:27:59.000 I'm saving mine for later.
13:28:01.000 Saving the fun.
13:28:06.000 Bro Shaughnessy, the brotherly bond you share is powerful.
13:28:10.000 You both have inspired me to rebuild my relationship with the three brothers I have.
13:28:14.000 We're going to make you proud.
13:28:16.000 Keep working hard.
13:28:19.000 Andrew Ahmed 51561816 asks if we're ever going to see top G sparkling water.
13:28:25.000 Working on it.
13:28:47.000 I'm going to save some for later.
13:28:49.000 Thank you.
13:28:51.000 Okay.
13:28:55.000 Oh, this is an interesting one.
13:28:57.000 Tristan, how come you are an origami master and your brother is incapable of even folding a piece of paper in half?
13:29:03.000 It's a very interesting question.
13:29:05.000 Very interesting.
13:29:07.000 Why is that?
13:29:08.000 How did I become so good at origami?
13:29:11.000 When you made zero effort in your life to ever attempt anything difficult.
13:29:19.000 I guess you're just a shit person.
13:29:22.000 Also, they called you a pussy for not eating your breakfast coffee spoon.
13:29:27.000 and they've got a point.
13:29:39.000 I'm going to falsely accuse you of stealing my coffee.
13:30:08.000 I'm going to accuse you of stealing my coffee.
13:30:34.000 You should put Pudgy Pudgy Aiden in jail.
13:30:40.000 Why?
13:30:42.000 Helping grow as a person.
13:30:44.000 Sitting on a fucking porn hub all day, scrolling up and down TikTok.
13:30:48.000 Getting some real jail time away from the devices.
13:30:52.000 Did that kid called being up ever reach out to you?
13:31:14.000 What, you?
13:31:16.000 No, not me.
13:31:17.000 You get beaten up after you see Bewitched.
13:31:20.000 And then you'll reach out to me for help.
13:31:26.000 That's not true.
13:31:28.000 Bewitched are gonna hurt you.
13:31:28.000 I don't think that's true at all.
13:31:30.000 For what you've done.
13:31:32.000 I actually think that Bewitched are going to have their social medias blown up and get a little bit bigger because we mention them so much on the stream.
13:31:41.000 Uh oh.
13:31:42.000 So we have no chest, we have no scrabble, we have no backgammon.
13:31:50.000 Bye.
13:31:51.000 We can't both partake in origami, of course, of course, because you're completely useless.
13:31:56.000 Because I could fold a frog.
13:31:57.000 No you can't.
13:31:59.000 Go away.
13:32:01.000 You've done a crane. If you can do a frog too, I'll admit you're actually still a little hard on me.
13:32:05.000 Give me 15 minutes of meditation to remember all those.
13:32:09.000 See? Can't.
13:32:17.000 Yes, I can.
13:32:18.000 Where then?
13:32:21.000 Where's this frog come from?
13:32:23.000 Wait, I have to remember all the fucking origami folds.
13:32:26.000 Still tapping.
13:32:35.000 Not until I see a frog folded from paper.
13:32:39.000 Oh, I'll make you a fucking frog fold for paper, you punk.
13:32:41.000 What are your thoughts on the guy?
13:33:11.000 I'm sorry.
13:33:20.000 It is very dangerous to be a man nowadays.
13:33:23.000 I don't even know what the answer is to it.
13:33:24.000 It's insanity.
13:33:29.000 Genuinely dangerous.
13:33:33.000 You're out to get all of us.
13:33:34.000 As much as you and me.
13:33:35.000 Every single person with a voice that you're trying to destroy.
13:33:38.000 Any man who tells the truth, you're gonna try and destroy him.
13:33:43.000 So you've got to lead by example.
13:33:44.000 As long as you've got millions of people all following your example, they can't lock everyone up.
13:33:51.000 They'll cut the head off the snake, though.
13:33:53.000 Turn everyone into a little bitch because the camera won't change your take content anymore.
13:33:57.000 That'll certainly help.
13:33:58.000 It's certainly a snake worth cutting the head off.
13:34:05.000 I think we can rejoice in one thing, though, Andrew.
13:34:09.000 It didn't fucking work, did it?
13:34:13.000 None of the things they've tried against us so far have worked.
13:34:15.000 Cancellation.
13:34:16.000 Okay, yeah.
13:34:17.000 Do you feel cancelled?
13:34:18.000 Bigger than ever.
13:34:20.000 Oh, let's say they're bad people and they commit sexual crimes and lock them up in jail.
13:34:24.000 People will just forget them then.
13:34:28.000 Sure.
13:34:28.000 Didn't work.
13:34:29.000 Nice try.
13:34:34.000 Could have at least hired some actresses to pretend to be fake victims like the BBC did.
13:34:38.000 What do you mean Sophie's super real?
13:34:41.000 Oh the imaginary BBC victims. That no federal agency...
13:34:46.000 Now I can't sing.
13:34:47.000 Or write songs.
13:34:48.000 but the BBC somehow can just pull out whenever they want.
13:34:51.000 I'm thinking of becoming a country and Western music star.
13:35:03.000 Now I can't sing or write songs or play instruments, but I feel like I could pull it off just from the look alone, you know?
13:35:16.000 Go to a cowboy tailor, get a suit cut, hat, boots, carry a guitar around on my back.
13:35:21.000 The image would be so monumentally cool that people will just accept I'm a country and western music star without having to have any of the talent of, say, Jason Alde.
13:35:32.000 What do you think?
13:35:37.000 Pull a Milli Vanilli?
13:35:39.000 Young people don't know what that is.
13:35:42.000 If you could go back in time and change one thing about your life, what would you change?
13:36:01.000 I would change my life.
13:36:08.000 I do everything the same, I just speak to you less.
13:36:11.000 Go, go to the toilet.
13:36:13.000 Ask the guards for hot water.
13:36:18.000 Go.
13:37:42.000 I did not see any guards.
13:37:45.000 So it looks like there's no hot water.
13:37:47.000 Also, I personally dislike you.
13:37:54.000 Thank you.
13:37:55.000 So I don't think you deserve Walter.
13:37:57.000 Why is there water spilling on the floor?
13:38:24.000 Yeah, that will only sit on the shelf for five fucking minutes.
13:38:27.000 It's like the nightmare inmate.
13:38:32.000 When I was in jail, I met a guy who had a cellmate who wouldn't stop shitting his pants.
13:38:37.000 That's a bit like having Rory, isn't it?
13:38:39.000 I don't know.
13:38:49.000 Thank you.
13:39:10.000 I'll sell you my lada for 40 cigarettes.
13:39:28.000 Interested?
13:39:36.000 No.
13:39:39.000 Bye.
13:40:39.000 I'm actually the inventor of ice cream.
13:40:48.000 Did you know that?
13:40:50.000 That's how I got so rich.
13:40:55.000 I invented ice cream.
13:41:16.000 Don't you?
13:41:16.000 I need to train.
13:41:24.000 This wet floor shit's fucking stressing me out.
13:41:27.000 Yeah, same.
13:41:28.000 It's ruined my entire day.
13:41:29.000 I'm gonna train legs and arms.
13:41:33.000 shoulder hurts for push-ups Admit that you're in jail I'm sorry, I'm not.
13:41:50.000 I'm sorry.
13:41:56.000 Oh Oh Uh Uh
13:42:04.000 Did you know? That I speak
13:42:34.000 so well that when I speak, my voice travels at the speed of sound?
13:42:42.000 .
13:42:45.000 Did you know that?
13:42:47.000 And you can always see me because the photons that bounce off my skin travel at the speed of light.
13:43:01.000 Bye.
13:43:01.000 Bye.
13:43:03.000 Isn't that impressive?
13:43:03.000 You can get hot water from a guard.
13:43:11.000 no guards why coffee contest I've already had my coffee mate, I don't need hot water.
13:43:25.000 Because I'm not a little crybaby like you.
13:43:28.000 Scared of eating his spoonful of coffee.
13:43:30.000 Give it to me.
13:43:32.000 What am I, your fucking butler?
13:43:33.000 Yeah.
13:43:34.000 Morning coffee, eh?
13:43:47.000 Yep.
13:43:50.000 Spoonful of morning coffee.
13:43:55.000 Keeps it nice and refreshed.
13:43:56.000 How is it?
13:44:06.000 Get your combat ready.
13:44:14.000 Keep your blood pressure nice and high.
13:44:16.000 I guess it was an efficient way to have a nice morning coffee.
13:44:43.000 To be honest with you.
13:44:44.000 Instead of making it, stirring it.
13:44:46.000 It was very efficient.
13:44:47.000 Mixing it.
13:44:49.000 It's too hot to drink.
13:44:50.000 This was the way.
13:44:52.000 Floor's drying.
13:44:59.000 Thank you.
13:45:00.000 It'll be in today's training.
13:45:02.000 Then we've got more letters to do.
13:45:06.000 Now I cancelled today.
13:45:10.000 Reading letters, training, eating lunch.
13:45:12.000 I might cancel all of it.
13:45:14.000 Just cancel it.
13:45:17.000 Have a nice relaxing day in jail.
13:45:34.000 Thanks for watching.
13:45:50.000 Who's counting?
13:45:51.000 Are you Mr. Time?
13:45:53.000 I'm Mr. Time.
13:46:21.000 What's 2 plus 2?
13:46:41.000 No, you're wrong.
13:46:44.000 It's 5.
13:46:44.000 Why is it 5?
13:46:49.000 You have 2, right?
13:46:51.000 There's 2 things.
13:46:53.000 And what's 5 minus 2?
13:46:59.000 I'm asking you what 5 minus 2 is.
13:47:01.000 So if you add two to that, it's five, right?
13:47:04.000 You're right, I'm sorry.
13:47:10.000 So you apologize to me.
13:47:19.000 Yeah.
13:47:19.000 Okay.
13:47:21.000 Okay.
13:47:22.000 What?
13:47:22.000 Okay.
13:47:28.000 Thank you.
13:47:32.000 Did you know I hold the world record for the most steps walked from bed?
13:47:46.000 Don't I?
13:47:47.000 Who has ever walked that many steps in bed before?
13:47:49.000 Until me.
13:47:50.000 Pretty sure I invented that technique.
13:47:58.000 Ah, pacing up and down.
13:47:59.000 That'll tick it.
13:47:59.000 Something's never changed, Frank.
13:48:06.000 Why were we in jail for three months?
13:48:08.000 I'm going to go with the K buds.
13:48:17.000 TikTok.
13:48:33.000 I'm going to go with the K.
13:48:42.000 Everyone knows that human trafficking means buying and selling people, usually to force them to work into prostitution.
13:48:51.000 That's what it means in every country in the world.
13:48:55.000 If what we're accused of is stealing money from TikTok creator funds, why did they name it human trafficking?
13:49:02.000 And why have we been called human traffickers for 15 months?
13:49:05.000 Because like surely if I went to Aiden Ross's house and nicked money from his twitch streaming fund They wouldn't say I human trafficked him Bye.
13:49:25.000 yeah it's a horrible attempt to slander your name so
13:49:49.000 so jail's a low energy environment I think if you tried to be high energy in jail you'd end up fucking smashing your head against a wall.
13:50:19.000 You would.
13:50:25.000 No I wouldn't.
13:50:27.000 I'm sure we don't have any Judge Judy.
13:50:35.000 No.
13:50:43.000 Wow.
13:50:44.000 the next video.
13:50:46.000 Most important life advice I've ever received was from Rory.
13:50:52.000 I doubt that.
13:50:56.000 Whoa!
13:50:58.000 He gave me the most important life advice ever.
13:50:59.000 He said, no matter what happens, Tristan, you can't trust your brother.
13:51:06.000 Did you hear me?
13:51:23.000 He's right.
13:51:43.000 Thanks.
13:51:46.000 He's right.
13:51:48.000 Don't worry.
13:52:04.000 I didn't want that bread.
13:52:08.000 Actually, I was saving that bread for later.
13:52:11.000 I'm gonna burn your feet with my lighter.
13:52:19.000 Did you hear me?
13:52:19.000 I think you're too scared to set your beard on fire.
13:52:25.000 If I had my jail beard, I would light it on fire to prove a point.
13:52:29.000 Count me loathe.
13:52:38.000 You forgot about the county though, didn't you?
13:52:40.000 I might ruin my spot and read all my superchats now.
13:53:04.000 I'm not a fan of the word, but I'm not a fan of the word.
13:53:06.000 I'm not a fan of the word.
13:53:15.000 Watching the G's sleep is substantially more entertaining than watching Aiden Ross.
13:53:20.000 Huh. Huh. Totally true.
13:53:23.000 Thank you Andre Poulet.
13:53:25.000 Joe says thanks for transforming me.
13:53:39.000 Lost my path at 22 after dad's passing.
13:53:41.000 God rebuilt me through you.
13:53:43.000 I'm unbreakable at 24, starting a company with my brother.
13:53:47.000 TurboTurps said this makes you feel connected to Andrew watching him sleep.
13:53:51.000 It feels like watching the clan leader sleep back in the day.
13:53:53.000 It makes him more real and more authentic.
13:53:57.000 I do sleep, even though I am a cybernetic organism now.
13:54:01.000 I used to not sleep, but I started recently.
13:54:03.000 Can you imagine in 10 years how many rich, successful millionaires there are going to be in the world who all have our backs and like us?
13:54:27.000 Because of us, yeah.
13:54:28.000 We've made them rich.
13:54:31.000 True.
13:54:33.000 Right now it's hard because we've got millions of fans, but I'm telling you, in 10 to 15 years' time, there'll be men in positions of power, politicians, people who all grew up watching our show.
13:54:43.000 True.
13:54:44.000 They're not going to grow up to be geeks, are they, and listen to us?
13:54:49.000 You're a geek.
13:54:52.000 You're a geek!
13:54:53.000 You look like a geek.
13:54:54.000 You look like a geek.
13:54:58.000 You look like more of a geek than Matt Shack.
13:55:02.000 I thought I was borrowing something from the cigarette.
13:55:14.000 Here, smoke a cigarette.
13:55:17.000 Smoke a cigarette while it dries, obviously, because the heat of the cigarette coming off of your face will assist the evaporation on a micron level.
13:55:26.000 You listening?
13:55:29.000 Micro evaporation of the floor.
13:55:31.000 It's very important that you smoke that cigarette.
13:55:52.000 See?
13:55:52.000 Now we're doing something.
13:55:55.000 Now we're doing something productive.
13:55:57.000 Now we're getting somewhere.
13:55:58.000 Exactly.
13:55:59.000 Look how much drier the floor looks already.
13:56:00.000 Because the micro-heat from the lighter increases this room's temperature.
13:56:10.000 The thing is about temperatures, and I'm really worried about this, Hedger, genuinely.
13:56:15.000 I'm very scared.
13:56:17.000 About climate change.
13:56:21.000 I feel like we need to do more with our massive fan base.
13:56:26.000 To help climate change.
13:56:31.000 We get mail again at 4pm if anyone wants to send more mail.
13:56:36.000 We get mail again at 4pm.
13:56:38.000 It's after inspection, isn't it?
13:56:39.000 It's like 8pm.
13:56:40.000 Yeah, 7pm.
13:56:41.000 seven. Your mail again at eight. Anyone wants to send more, more messages, more mail? Appreciate it.
13:56:49.000 But the climate change, Andrew.
13:56:57.000 Okay?
13:57:01.000 We need to fix it.
13:57:01.000 it. Don't you think? The climate is changing and we need to fix it.
13:57:20.000 Thank you.
13:57:48.000 How are you going to make sure your sons don't grow up as dickheads when you're a billionaire?
13:57:51.000 Because you'll be a billionaire by the time you have any sons that reach an age that you need to teach them things.
13:57:57.000 Easy work.
13:57:59.000 It is actually very easy, isn't it?
13:58:01.000 Kick a little bit of shit out of them.
13:58:02.000 Teach them a lesson about the real world.
13:58:03.000 Make sure they have no money.
13:58:06.000 Yeah.
13:58:06.000 I have friends who own Starbucks franchises and shit here.
13:58:09.000 You work here.
13:58:09.000 This is your job.
13:58:12.000 Get a friend in the UAE government to get him a job sweeping the streets for 20 bucks a day.
13:58:16.000 Yeah.
13:58:17.000 In the hot sun.
13:58:18.000 This is the real world.
13:58:19.000 You want something, you make 20 bucks a day, go and sweep the streets.
13:58:22.000 Massa.
13:58:23.000 Massa.
13:58:24.000 Nice. Thank you guys.
13:58:36.000 Appreciate it.
13:58:37.000 Thank you.
13:58:39.000 Nice.
13:58:41.000 That's Massa.
13:58:43.000 Bowl of potato soup.
13:58:45.000 You know, They're doing a good job.
13:58:48.000 They've really nailed the authenticity.
13:58:51.000 Lukewarm potato soup with one single piece of chicken in it.
13:58:55.000 Yeah, it's master time.
13:58:57.000 I did tell them to make sure this- What the fuck is this?
13:59:10.000 A spork?
13:59:10.000 It's an abomination.
13:59:11.000 It's a fork one side and a spoon the other side.
13:59:14.000 It's like fucking transgender.
13:59:16.000 Is this you?
13:59:18.000 Did you do this?
13:59:19.000 This is something to do with you, isn't it?
13:59:22.000 No.
13:59:22.000 It must be!
13:59:24.000 This is a fucking disgrace!
13:59:26.000 I've seen a spork before, but I've never seen this level of degeneracy in an eating utensil before in my life, and I am strongly suspecting you as the culprit.
13:59:35.000 I'm not, though.
13:59:37.000 You must have something to do with this!
13:59:39.000 I didn't manufacture that.
13:59:43.000 I don't own an Indian plastic bag.
13:59:44.000 Is this what you use to eat on your little spaceship?
13:59:47.000 You and Neil.
13:59:49.000 In a gravity-free environment, I don't imagine you'd use... Oh, gravity-free, huh?
13:59:53.000 So they just float around everywhere all around you.
13:59:55.000 You and Neil, naked, flying around the universe with these, flying in between your private parts.
14:00:02.000 They're fucking weird.
14:00:06.000 This soup is really horrible and salty.
14:00:07.000 salty.
14:00:13.000 We did say make sure the soup isn't delicious.
14:00:17.000 and it's not.
14:00:45.000 I didn't watch all of it.
14:00:48.000 One more time.
14:00:49.000 You didn't watch all of what?
14:00:50.000 Neil deGrasse Tyson explaining how there's a gender spectrum.
14:00:52.000 Explain again, how does he as a scientist, so he says X, Y, X, he must acknowledge chromosomes, right?
14:00:58.000 He says XX chromosomes, XY chromosomes.
14:01:02.000 He tries to use the old adage that gender and sex aren't linked, which they are, 100%.
14:01:06.000 And he says, That you could feel 80%... I could feel 80% like a female one day and wear makeup.
14:01:14.000 And I could take my makeup off and feel like I'm 80% male.
14:01:17.000 And he said that because in this country we have something called the pursuit of happiness.
14:01:21.000 I read it somewhere.
14:01:21.000 The pursuit of happiness is in obviously the American Constitution.
14:01:25.000 He said that why does it... If I have the pursuit of happiness and I want to believe that I'm a man or a woman and that my gender is fluid, what business is it of yours and why are you so strongly opposed to it?
14:01:36.000 Is basically his point.
14:01:39.000 And I'm like, Pursuit of Happiness, I don't think the sun's a star, I think it's a planet.
14:01:44.000 What the fuck?
14:01:45.000 So he's fully cut down and sold out to a slave trader.
14:01:47.000 You know what I think?
14:01:48.000 Here's what I think.
14:01:49.000 I reckon he's been cheating on his wife, homosexual affair, something that they have on him, and as one of the loudest voices in science, they said, read this script.
14:02:00.000 No.
14:02:00.000 Anyway, I reckon they have something on him.
14:02:02.000 I genuinely think that somebody important had some dirt on him because everybody besides us seemingly has skeletons in their fucking closet. Everybody.
14:02:11.000 Homosexual affair aboard a starship traveling around the solar system on a loser tour to Venus and Jupiter. Anyway, I reckon they have something on him. I'm onto you, mate.
14:02:23.000 You want me to make you a coffee with my my alpaca. I've got the color.
14:02:30.000 Would you like a coffee?
14:02:33.000 Apicalda Pentru Catea.
14:02:36.000 Hold on.
14:02:37.000 The only one, the only guy who's stuck by his guns, who rejects God, is In the way that he thinks that he's living a completely, everything has to be fact-based, everything has to be fact-based.
14:02:59.000 Oh, we're not sure about the Bible and the Quran, but we're the only god of atheists who've rejected God.
14:03:04.000 Here's the thing.
14:03:05.000 I came to the conclusion, Andrew.
14:03:07.000 Atheism isn't a lack of belief in God.
14:03:09.000 Atheism is actually a cult of devil worship.
14:03:11.000 And years ago, when I was an atheist, I didn't believe this was true.
14:03:14.000 I used to believe, of course, they're not devil worshipers, because devil worshipers, you don't believe in the devil if you're an atheist.
14:03:19.000 Because when I was an atheist, I didn't believe in any devils.
14:03:22.000 But let me tell you something.
14:03:23.000 If you purport to be an atheist, and your reasoning is that you have a worldview that rejects faith and is completely based on what we can measure with human instruments and human science, despite the fact that we're probably still very primitive compared to where we're going to be.
14:03:39.000 If that is your worldview, then you should reject things like men are women and women are men immediately.
14:03:45.000 In fact, you should be the first to reject them out of all the people in the universe.
14:03:50.000 But the fact that all of these famous atheists are all now saying men can get pregnant, women can have penises, just goes to show that it is a cult of degeneracy and a cult of devil worship.
14:04:02.000 It's nothing to do with a disbelief in things you can't prove.
14:04:05.000 Clearly, one man, Richard Dawkins, stuck to his guns.
14:04:10.000 He's the only one.
14:04:12.000 He's the only one who asked, when asked about transgenderism, can men be women and women be men, he went, no, no, I'm a biologist, no, they can't.
14:04:21.000 Fair play to him.
14:04:22.000 Grumpy old Englishman as well.
14:04:23.000 Yeah.
14:04:24.000 Fair play to Richard Dolphins.
14:04:25.000 Credit to him for dying on that sword.
14:04:27.000 I remember, I remember telling you before they all sold out that I remember literally saying, Nildegrass Tyson's not smart.
14:04:32.000 Why does everyone say he's smart?
14:04:33.000 He's not smart, he's just a dork.
14:04:35.000 Yeah.
14:04:35.000 I knew it.
14:04:36.000 I'm never wrong about anybody ever.
14:04:38.000 I can see into their souls.
14:04:40.000 But it's a spectrum.
14:04:41.000 I want to hire Tony Jaa from Ombak to float through life.
14:04:51.000 Elbow to the top of the head.
14:04:52.000 He just flies out the corner of the room.
14:04:55.000 Flying elbow.
14:04:57.000 Well, actually, it's a spectrum.
14:04:58.000 Boom!
14:04:59.000 Yeah.
14:05:00.000 And then he does the... thing with his hands wrapped.
14:05:03.000 Tony Joffrey on the back, yeah.
14:05:04.000 I think that's the solution.
14:05:06.000 I think it might fix it.
14:05:06.000 Every time we say it's a spectrum, he comes flying into the spinning elbow.
14:05:10.000 Bang!
14:05:14.000 Might put him aboard your little pretty spaceship.
14:05:19.000 I'm gonna make a television series.
14:05:20.000 I'm gonna make a television series better than your television series.
14:05:23.000 No matter what happens in your television series, mine will be better.
14:05:25.000 It'll be double.
14:05:25.000 Double the amount of characters.
14:05:26.000 Double the amount of words.
14:05:29.000 Double the amount of scenes.
14:05:30.000 Double the length.
14:05:31.000 No matter what you do, I will surpass you.
14:05:34.000 Go on.
14:05:35.000 Make something.
14:05:35.000 What's gonna happen to your little show?
14:05:36.000 Your little pee pee show.
14:05:39.000 Go on.
14:05:40.000 Take a little pee pee.
14:05:41.000 It's gonna be about a man.
14:05:42.000 Mine's gonna be about two men.
14:05:43.000 named Andrew. Only about two men called Andrew. He could go to jail twice as long.
14:05:52.000 How long do you think you could stay in this room?
14:05:54.000 That's true. 92 days.
14:06:03.000 You could do another 92 days.
14:06:05.000 Thank you.
14:06:06.000 Tristan, I love domestic planners.
14:06:08.000 If he decides we have to go back to jail, for years.
14:06:11.000 That'd be nuts.
14:06:12.000 After everyone now knowing it's a scam and Candace Owens completely exposing how someone was set here to set us up and how they found no evidence so came up with a TikTok story and no one's ever been trafficked anywhere.
14:06:25.000 It would be wild if they sent us to jail.
14:06:27.000 Wild.
14:06:31.000 It's a wild world.
14:06:34.000 Ooh baby, baby, it's a wild world.
14:06:40.000 Why aren't me and you scared or intimidated by this?
14:06:44.000 By these people?
14:06:45.000 99% of people would be scared in our situation.
14:06:47.000 who we are. We're survivors.
14:06:49.000 No, isn't it?
14:06:50.000 In the warrior's code, there's no surrender.
14:06:52.000 99% of people would be scared in our situation.
14:06:55.000 We put ourselves in jail for practice.
14:06:58.000 Spirit cries, never.
14:07:01.000 Deep in our souls, quiet Edinburgh.
14:07:05.000 Know it's you against you.
14:07:08.000 It's the paradox that drives us all.
14:07:12.000 It's a battle of wills in the heat of the cell.
14:07:18.000 It's the passion that kills.
14:07:21.000 Why do we just sing and dance?
14:07:22.000 The victory is yours.
14:07:24.000 You know what?
14:07:25.000 That's our ultimate victory.
14:07:26.000 So forget that they made us a lot more famous.
14:07:29.000 Forget that they galvanized our fan base.
14:07:31.000 Forget that next year we're probably going to make more money than we would have ever made if they hadn't done this to us.
14:07:36.000 Forget that everything that they've done has had the opposite effect.
14:07:40.000 The worst thing for these nerds must be that they haven't upset us.
14:07:47.000 I mean, you could have at least upset me.
14:07:50.000 Nah, I'm fine, mate.
14:07:50.000 A little bit of jail?
14:07:52.000 Fuck you.
14:07:52.000 Got cigarettes?
14:07:53.000 Can't stop me from smoking.
14:07:58.000 And they find somewhere buried in old communist Romanian law somewhere.
14:08:01.000 A precedent that allows them to stop me from smoking cigarettes, they'll give me.
14:08:19.000 Like this. Right over here.
14:08:28.000 Where's the pen?
14:08:36.000 Shit.
14:08:38.000 He fucking got me.
14:08:41.000 Cigarette.
14:08:44.000 There's a cigarette in my Bible.
14:08:46.000 I better smoke it then.
14:08:48.000 I better smoke it.
14:08:57.000 There's a cigarette.
14:08:58.000 In my Bible.
14:09:00.000 He planted one there.
14:09:02.000 Because he knew I'd find it.
14:09:03.000 Because he knew at some point I was going to open the Bible.
14:09:05.000 Where's the pen, you stupid cunt?
14:09:06.000 I asked you a question.
14:09:08.000 You had it last.
14:09:09.000 Why don't you fuck off?
14:09:10.000 Okay?
14:09:11.000 Just fuck off.
14:09:12.000 No one likes you in the world.
14:09:14.000 I don't know where the pen is.
14:09:18.000 I lost it on purpose.
14:09:20.000 You need a pen.
14:09:21.000 Where's the pen?
14:09:22.000 Uh, fuck off?
14:09:25.000 Must be over there.
14:09:26.000 on the desk with the things.
14:09:28.000 Do you know that's a lie?
14:09:34.000 I did have it, didn't I?
14:09:37.000 I sat down here and pretended to write my imaginary embassy that was completely useless to me.
14:09:42.000 Exactly.
14:09:47.000 Mind you, our own embassy's wanting us in jail.
14:09:49.000 You know the cool thing about this story?
14:09:57.000 I'll allude to some spoilers.
14:09:58.000 I'll allude to some.
14:10:01.000 A year and a half ago, me and you knew that somebody was sent here to lie, and the evidence was clear that they lied.
14:10:08.000 We weren't allowed to say it.
14:10:09.000 Other people have now leaked it.
14:10:10.000 That's good.
14:10:12.000 We've actually known all of this crap, and we're sitting there being asked about human trafficking, saying, I can't talk about the case, knowing that the accusation is that we stole from a TikTok creator, and there's no money in the file.
14:10:23.000 We've known this the whole time, and we haven't been allowed to say it.
14:10:27.000 Which is nuts, because now the world's waking up, being like, whoa, what the fuck?
14:10:31.000 When this is all over, the shit that we'll be able to tell the world about why this is all happening will blow everyone's minds.
14:10:38.000 Because all that information is inside my brain already, I just can't say it.
14:10:42.000 When I was in jail...
14:10:49.000 And they took me out to the press, and I handed that piece of paper to the press.
14:10:53.000 It went viral.
14:10:54.000 It was Tristan Pulzo's stunt.
14:10:56.000 And it said, I'm in jail because my two friends made TikTok videos in 2021, and they think that I forced them to make the TikToks.
14:11:02.000 That's why I'm in jail.
14:11:03.000 Everyone read that letter, and the press all dismissed it.
14:11:06.000 The next week, it was still, maybe they've been kidnapping.
14:11:08.000 No, I hate to admit things.
14:11:10.000 Charges have been filed, and that's what the charges are.
14:11:12.000 That I've- I've been doing crimes behind your back.
14:11:14.000 You've been doing crimes behind my back the whole time.
14:11:17.000 What crimes have you committed, Andrew?
14:11:19.000 Confess your sins.
14:11:21.000 I confess to stealing from Bewitched.
14:11:24.000 But you won't face them face-to-face, will you?
14:11:27.000 Tell me what crimes you've committed.
14:11:29.000 Will you face Bewitched face-to-face?
14:11:31.000 Yeah, sure.
14:11:32.000 What crimes have you committed?
14:11:33.000 If you promise, you'll meet them in person to pay them £10.
14:11:35.000 I promise.
14:11:36.000 I'll reach out to them on X, and I'll see what they say.
14:11:40.000 You owe them £10, mate.
14:11:41.000 I know I do.
14:11:41.000 I'll pay your debts.
14:11:47.000 So?
14:11:49.000 What crimes have you secretly been committing behind my back?
14:11:51.000 Loads.
14:11:51.000 I hope you haven't been human trafficking anyone, because they're more fun.
14:11:54.000 Yeah, I have, yeah.
14:11:55.000 Shit.
14:11:57.000 Rory, Bailey, all the guys here, they're all human trafficking.
14:11:59.000 Yeah.
14:12:00.000 Fuck.
14:12:01.000 Does Rory have TikTok?
14:12:02.000 I think so.
14:12:03.000 Okay.
14:12:05.000 And just like our other victims, you've stolen zero dollars from his creator fund.
14:12:09.000 Correct, yeah.
14:12:10.000 Shit, that's human trafficking.
14:12:11.000 Fuck!
14:12:14.000 We're in real trouble now.
14:12:19.000 What are we going to do?
14:12:22.000 Is the floor dry yet?
14:12:37.000 The floor is basically dry, yes.
14:12:39.000 Five minutes.
14:12:39.000 I'm going to do hundreds of bicep curls with these water bottles.
14:13:08.000 jailhouse Aikido right there.
14:13:09.000 That's what that is.
14:13:10.000 Bye!
14:13:11.000 Bye!
14:13:12.000 It's a bit complex for the normal man to understand.
14:13:15.000 It's quite a complex scenario.
14:13:23.000 That soup was actually horrible.
14:13:24.000 It was almost inedible.
14:13:27.000 Very authentic.
14:13:30.000 Authentically awful.
14:13:31.000 Yeah.
14:13:32.000 I mean, we do have gourmet chefs working at our house.
14:13:36.000 to make the chefs make a nice soup.
14:13:39.000 I get to enjoy my meal in jail.
14:13:43.000 Throw my whole fucking mood off.
14:13:44.000 And we have no attractive prison guards to flirt with.
14:14:05.000 I used to flirt with that prison guard all the time.
14:14:07.000 Almost as good.
14:14:10.000 Almost as good.
14:14:12.000 Thank you.
14:14:16.000 You know, I bet Jail misses me.
14:14:18.000 I bet Jail was exciting when we were there.
14:14:21.000 It was a big thing.
14:14:22.000 Crowds outside.
14:14:23.000 It was sexy.
14:14:26.000 You know?
14:14:26.000 It was a cool story.
14:14:31.000 I bet Jail's rubbish.
14:14:32.000 It's filled with criminals.
14:14:37.000 I guess as it should be.
14:14:38.000 I guess jails should be boring and filled with criminals.
14:14:41.000 Not exciting and filled with innocent men.
14:14:43.000 That would make sense.
14:14:50.000 Would you do a bicycle war on the floor again?
14:14:51.000 No, I do not.
14:14:52.000 To fuck with your schedule.
14:14:53.000 Please don't do that.
14:14:54.000 But I don't like you.
14:14:56.000 Why don't you like me?
14:15:02.000 Bye.
14:15:04.000 many reasons i remember jaden tried to do push-ups on the screen it's the worst thing ever so
14:15:33.000 someone's fucked with one of my plate bowls look this has more water than the other one so i'm gonna have to fill it up and balance it that's it.
14:15:53.000 I'll show you guys the art of jail workouts.
14:15:59.000 So, let's get started.
14:16:25.000 When you're free from jail, what car are you going to drive and where in the world?
14:16:44.000 Lada off a cliff.
14:16:45.000 Don't fuck with my Lada.
14:16:46.000 You can throw yourself off cliff all you like.
14:16:48.000 You leave Mylada alone.
14:16:50.000 She's beautiful.
14:16:52.000 Ow!
14:17:26.000 Alright. Time to do your workouts now.
14:17:30.000 Ow!
14:17:42.000 to
14:17:57.000 the next session. Bye-bye.
14:18:17.000 Bye.
14:18:39.000 So 170 so far.
14:18:39.000 Next set, 40 to 110.
14:18:40.000 We have lots of time.
14:18:42.000 Lots of time.
14:18:42.000 So 170 so far.
14:18:44.000 Next set, 4E to 110.
14:18:48.000 We have lots of time. Lots of time.
14:18:59.000 I can use that stick as a bar to put both these in there.
14:19:06.000 Thank you.
14:19:07.000 That might work.
14:19:09.000 It's not enough time to grow my beard.
14:19:19.000 Am I staying here till I have the same beard as I went in 92 days?
14:19:40.000 What negative effects, if any, do you think jail had on you?
14:19:45.000 I think it only had positive effects.
14:19:47.000 I know I missed your look on the bright side.
14:19:50.000 What negative effects did jail have on you?
14:19:53.000 Your kid's missing month of months of my life.
14:20:03.000 That's unacceptable for the kids.
14:20:05.000 But what bad actually happened because I went to jail? Lost probably 50 million dollars.
14:20:14.000 dollars. Two thousand, three thousand.
14:20:20.000 eh ok
14:20:23.000 uh
14:22:28.000 You could travel back in time anywhere.
14:22:30.000 Where would you go?
14:22:32.000 I'm not sure.
14:22:37.000 Two different scenarios.
14:22:38.000 One, you had to try to blend in.
14:22:41.000 And two, you had an invisible ship that could run around and look at things, but you weren't.
14:22:48.000 Make sure we're on.
14:22:51.000 I fear 1000 in England would just be tense.
14:22:55.000 Shit.
14:22:58.000 Villages.
14:22:59.000 We call this a lightning, but I guess it's just gonna be...
14:23:02.000 Shit on the streets.
14:23:03.000 Wood milling and...
14:23:04.000 What else is there gonna be?
14:23:07.000 Cathedrals from Philostrate later.
14:23:12.000 You've had the blend in yet, Ancient Rome?
14:23:14.000 Just don't speak or run the streets.
14:23:16.000 Try and get into the Coliseum and watch the fights.
14:23:20.000 It was free.
14:23:21.000 Free entry. Just get there first.
14:23:23.000 Is it?
14:23:25.000 Yeah, it was free.
14:23:26.000 Yeah.
14:23:30.000 Thank you.
14:23:35.000 I had an invisible ship and I could travel around and just watch things.
14:23:38.000 I'd watch the campaigns of Napoleon fighting in Italy, the Czech Republic, or modern-day Czech Republic, Austria, Hungary, and Russia.
14:23:46.000 I'd watch that.
14:23:47.000 That'd be super interesting.
14:23:49.000 You're almost done, have a Coke.
14:24:10.000 Thank you.
14:24:11.000 See the Rolling Stones and have a Coke?
14:24:12.000 Yeah, go back to the 1950s.
14:24:13.000 I'm not sure you do both of those things today.
14:24:20.000 This coffee's pretty good.
14:24:22.000 Thank you for making me a coffee, Andrew.
14:24:24.000 Next coffee's on you, friend.
14:24:26.000 No fucking way.
14:24:28.000 I'm glad people can see this 24-hour stream, because I don't think anyone understands how boring and non-eventful
14:24:56.000 jail is or was.
14:24:58.000 We went to jail for three months and it sounds like a cool story, like something exciting happened.
14:25:05.000 It was literally this.
14:25:07.000 Cigarette.
14:25:32.000 Got ya.
14:25:34.000 Got ya.
14:25:36.000 I'm fascinated.
14:25:42.000 Do your push-ups.
14:25:45.000 My intention was actually to knock over there.
14:25:47.000 Fine, just do your push-ups.
14:25:48.000 I'm scared.
14:25:51.000 Why?
14:25:52.000 Why would you be scared of new push-ups?
14:25:54.000 Why would you be scared of push-ups?
14:26:51.000 Go on then, give me the bird.
14:26:54.000 So go ahead.
14:27:09.000 How does that make you feel?
14:27:11.000 Honestly.
14:27:13.000 Great. Foreign prisoners.
14:27:22.000 Nicely realistic.
14:27:34.000 Laughter.
14:27:36.000 Bye.
14:27:39.000 Shut the fuck up!
14:27:46.000 I'll give you something to cry about you cunt.
14:28:03.000 Go play on the loop after.
14:28:23.000 I wonder how much the guards would like to cry babies in my room.
14:28:36.000 I can cry for real.
14:28:41.000 F*** it.
14:28:45.000 Why do people cry in jail?
14:28:46.000 Because they want to go home.
14:28:50.000 It doesn't help, does it?
14:28:52.000 Right.
14:28:53.000 I've tried it.
14:28:55.000 What?
14:28:55.000 Crying?
14:28:57.000 Worth a try.
14:28:58.000 It's not worth a try though, is it?
14:29:00.000 I'm never going to let you go after you cry.
14:29:02.000 It might make you stay outside a bit, you know?
14:29:04.000 No, it won't.
14:29:06.000 You sure?
14:29:07.000 Well, I didn't try.
14:29:09.000 Well, if you don't, let's try, man.
14:29:13.000 Go on.
14:29:16.000 Go on, you cry.
14:29:18.000 You cry, let's out.
14:29:19.000 I don't know how to cry.
14:29:21.000 I'm actually incapable of crying.
14:29:23.000 I'm too manly.
14:29:26.000 I'm not a man.
14:29:40.000 You don't have a cigarette and you don't have to cry.
14:29:41.000 Reminds me of the good old jail days.
14:29:47.000 Where's my lighter?
14:29:49.000 It's in the corner.
14:29:54.000 You know the best thing about Jack?
14:30:09.000 I'm out.
14:30:11.000 When I was in your room.
14:30:13.000 Me and you had no electronic devices and just had to talk to each other.
14:30:16.000 That was the best thing about jail.
14:30:19.000 Worst.
14:30:21.000 Fuck you.
14:30:25.000 Stop talking a minute.
14:30:27.000 I wish you had an electronic device.
14:30:30.000 You could go back to ignoring me.
14:30:31.000 For everyone who's tracking, I'm 180 now.
14:30:39.000 40, 30, 40, 30, 40.
14:30:41.000 You know how many?
14:30:43.000 180!
14:30:44.000 Where's the rest of the darts at the Alley Pally VIP?
14:30:47.000 Because I know you think you're an athlete and a sportsman, but really, can you compare yourself, in terms of great British sportsman, to someone like Philip Howard Taylor?
14:31:02.000 Or Steve Beaton, the housewife's choice.
14:31:05.000 He might stop crying.
14:31:07.000 Maybe he's killed himself.
14:31:08.000 Maybe.
14:31:08.000 So I know you're the four-time kickboxing world champion.
14:31:16.000 That's real cute.
14:31:17.000 But you do know that you've been beaten and transcended on all levels by Phil the Power Tater, right?
14:31:24.000 He's like 17 time world champion.
14:31:33.000 Thank you.
14:31:36.000 What?
14:31:38.000 What's funny?
14:31:42.000 Michael Van Gerwen would beat you up.
14:31:45.000 The power.
14:31:48.000 John Blue Walton would beat you up as well.
14:31:52.000 Or Mario Wolfy Adams.
14:31:53.000 They'd be the super most famous people in any British pub.
14:31:55.000 But there's just no pubs left.
14:31:56.000 That's the problem.
14:31:58.000 All pubs gone.
14:32:00.000 It's a real shame.
14:32:01.000 Pub culture is dead.
14:32:03.000 Pubs were great.
14:32:04.000 I think electronics killed pubs.
14:32:07.000 Too much interconnectivity.
14:32:08.000 You don't have to go down the pub to mix with the society anymore.
14:32:10.000 You can do it on Reddit like a loser.
14:32:13.000 Fucking hell.
14:32:14.000 Right, it is for losers.
14:32:16.000 British pub culture is the best thing about England.
14:32:23.000 Yep.
14:32:25.000 England was so awesome.
14:32:27.000 Just 25 short years ago, England was fucking incredible.
14:32:35.000 Yep.
14:32:35.000 It's 1999 London.
14:32:38.000 You're walking around the streets.
14:32:39.000 You're safe.
14:32:40.000 No one's gonna stab you.
14:32:42.000 People out.
14:32:44.000 Social.
14:32:45.000 Sociable.
14:32:46.000 Friendly.
14:32:46.000 what a great country England was.
14:32:53.000 Even though you don't drink, you could have enjoyed a nice day down the pub, you know?
14:33:07.000 Sat in the beer garden.
14:33:09.000 Lime and soda.
14:33:10.000 Slice of lemon.
14:33:11.000 Packet of scampi fries.
14:33:15.000 Life was good.
14:33:16.000 Remember when we used to go down to Leicester Arms for steaks every two or three weeks and we had £20 to buy a steak with?
14:33:23.000 Now we eat steak basically every day.
14:33:26.000 We eat the most expensive steak there is basically five or six days a week.
14:33:30.000 No we don't.
14:33:30.000 We're in jail.
14:33:32.000 Well today we don't.
14:33:34.000 And not in jail we didn't.
14:33:36.000 We need a cigar after this set.
14:33:53.000 Oh hardens your arm muscles.
14:34:04.000 Do it on It meant that you'd forgotten how to use a pen.
14:34:33.000 I just used it.
14:34:35.000 And what did you write?
14:34:36.000 220.
14:34:36.000 You don't know numbers.
14:34:37.000 There's so many you know numbers now.
14:34:46.000 Here, count to one.
14:34:49.000 one cigarette.
14:34:50.000 Who will fight you or the Count of Monte Cristo?
14:34:57.000 Count of Monte Cristo would be who you're going to fight.
14:35:12.000 Okay.
14:35:22.000 So, so uh
14:35:52.000 so tomorrow You might be in jail tomorrow.
14:36:18.000 Old city?
14:36:24.000 You're not.
14:36:32.000 Thank you.
14:36:47.000 For a new house and the library we need a writing desk and an obnoxiously expensive pen.
14:36:51.000 What are you going to write?
14:36:57.000 Threats.
14:36:57.000 Threatening letters.
14:36:59.000 Nice.
14:37:00.000 Nice.
14:37:01.000 Threatening letters to members of the neighbourhood for small reasons.
14:37:04.000 Parking.
14:37:05.000 Yeah.
14:37:06.000 Very, very upper class.
14:37:08.000 Very dignified.
14:37:10.000 Very threatening.
14:37:12.000 Very threatening.
14:37:14.000 I'm going to call our actions preposterous.
14:37:16.000 I'm going to say that they don't park their cars, but they should.
14:37:24.000 I'll issue them a royal hiding.
14:37:26.000 Thank you.
14:37:29.000 Yeah, I think just, you know, a threatening letter desk.
14:37:36.000 Write threats to the various people in my life who I dislike.
14:37:39.000 Spend my days writing threatening letters.
14:37:41.000 I bet you get good at it over time.
14:37:44.000 I bet you get really good at it.
14:37:47.000 Yeah, because you wouldn't want to be too samey samey.
14:37:50.000 You work on your technique.
14:37:52.000 you know.
14:38:03.000 Okay.
14:39:10.000 A nice little relax, a nice little lie down.
14:39:13.000 You can always have a lie down in jail, that's the thing.
14:39:16.000 When you're working your normal nine to fives, like I have done for many years of my life, you can't just stop what you're doing and lie down, can you?
14:39:24.000 Not often, no.
14:39:25.000 That's like a privilege reserved for toddlers.
14:39:30.000 Once you get over like four, you can't really just lie down all the time.
14:39:33.000 True.
14:39:36.000 But in jail, You get ten lie-downs a day, you know?
14:39:41.000 It's true.
14:39:45.000 So tell me, what was the hardest thing about jail?
14:39:48.000 You.
14:39:49.000 Shut up.
14:39:52.000 I'm gonna make a shank.
14:39:53.000 I'm gonna manufacture a shank.
14:39:56.000 The pursuit of happiness... ...defies science, okay?
14:40:04.000 That's not true.
14:40:05.000 The pursuit of happiness does not defy science.
14:40:07.000 The pursuit of happiness, Andrew, does not defy science.
14:40:22.000 It's so fucking hot in here.
14:40:24.000 I'm gonna take longer between my sets.
14:40:26.000 Because it's so fucking boiling hot.
14:40:28.000 You know, when I was in jail, you know the worst thing about being hot or being cold?
14:40:32.000 You think you'd instantly like the opposite one.
14:40:34.000 I remember jail was super cold.
14:40:36.000 I thought, I just wish this room was warm.
14:40:39.000 I just wish this room was cold.
14:40:43.000 There's no air con in here.
14:40:46.000 Jail would be hot if we were there now, though.
14:40:48.000 No Eric on there either.
14:40:50.000 big brick building.
14:40:52.000 I'm going to be talking about the building's history.
14:40:54.000 I'm going to be talking about the history of the building.
14:42:29.000 Let me ask you a question.
14:42:30.000 Does the crowd understand?
14:42:32.000 I wanna ask a question.
14:42:34.000 Is it east versus west?
14:42:35.000 Alright, I'm not talking to you.
14:42:36.000 Or man against man?
14:42:38.000 They're going to sleep.
14:42:40.000 Can any nation stand alone?
14:42:44.000 This blanket's soundproof.
14:42:46.000 And a burning heart.
14:42:49.000 Just about to burst.
14:42:52.000 There's a quest for answers and unquenchable thirst.
14:42:58.000 In the darkest night, rising like a spire.
14:43:07.000 In the burning heart, Tristan Tate is a dork.
14:43:11.000 I want to ask a question about crying in general and motivation.
14:43:23.000 What would have to be in it for you to commit any crime?
14:43:28.000 Let's say a crime that can... I've committed loads of crimes.
14:43:31.000 Let's say a crime that will give you two years in jail.
14:43:33.000 Okay.
14:43:34.000 What would have to be the motivation, the benefit for you to do that crime and maybe get caught?
14:43:41.000 Free to be a witch CD?
14:43:46.000 Because I wouldn't do a crime for a billion dollars.
14:43:48.000 You wouldn't?
14:43:52.000 I'd do a crime for one dollar.
14:43:55.000 Well, murder someone.
14:43:57.000 Correct.
14:43:58.000 I get a girlfriend with TikTok for a dollar.
14:44:00.000 From now on, every time I meet someone who has TikTok, friend or girlfriend, I'm going to make them give me one dollar so I human traffic them.
14:44:12.000 Nice.
14:44:13.000 Rory, Bailey, everyone with social media. I'm going to tell them when to do a post and take $1 from them.
14:44:24.000 Yeah.
14:44:33.000 Thank you.
14:44:37.000 What a stupid case.
14:44:43.000 They know it's stupid.
14:44:44.000 I don't care.
14:44:45.000 Yeah, true.
14:44:48.000 Who are we having in jail with us next month?
14:45:16.000 Bye.
14:45:18.000 Thank you.
14:45:19.000 Bye.
14:45:20.000 Are we just going to use our friends or are we going to invite other famous influencers to jail?
14:45:36.000 Well?
14:45:36.000 I don't have any friends.
14:45:41.000 And me or you?
14:45:43.000 You.
14:45:46.000 You don't have any friends.
14:45:54.000 260 push-ups so far.
14:45:59.000 Who are we inviting to jail?
14:46:01.000 I want everyone at home to track this, I did.
14:46:03.000 40, 30, 40, 30, 40, 40, 40.
14:46:04.000 It is tracked.
14:46:05.000 260.
14:46:05.000 30, 40, 30, 40, 40, 40.
14:46:09.000 It is tracked.
14:46:11.000 260.
14:46:12.000 It's on film.
14:46:12.000 Oh yeah, it's true.
14:46:15.000 Bye.
14:46:16.000 How's it not tracked?
14:46:17.000 260.
14:46:17.000 740 to go.
14:46:18.000 Who are we bringing into jail next month on the 12th?
14:46:27.000 the 12th.
14:46:34.000 Well?
14:47:20.000 Free Top G!
14:47:26.000 Free Top G!
14:47:30.000 You know these are soundbites from real protests that happened.
14:47:34.000 Free Top G!
14:47:44.000 Nah, keep him in jail.
14:47:46.000 Leave him, leave him, leave him, leave him.
14:47:50.000 It does give us happiness, doesn't it?
14:47:56.000 When we heard people screaming free Top G. There were protests in Australia, Greece, London, lots of places.
14:48:05.000 That did bring us joy.
14:48:09.000 to know that the world understood we were innocent.
14:48:11.000 Can't see the chat.
14:48:23.000 I'm going to go ahead and get started.
14:48:39.000 Free Top G. Free Top G. Free Top G.
14:48:44.000 I'm always free.
14:48:48.000 My mind is free.
14:48:53.000 Free.
14:48:59.000 Okay.
14:49:47.000 I'm going to read the book of Revelations.
14:54:17.000 Behold, the devil shall cast some of you into prison, that ye may be tried, and ye shall have tribulations for ten days.
14:54:25.000 Be thou faithful unto death, and I will give thee a crown of life.
14:54:30.000 Revelations 10. Chapter 2, verse 10.
14:54:38.000 Bye.
14:54:40.000 The devil threw us in jail, Andrew.
14:54:42.000 I have seen the face of Satan.
14:57:08.000 Ahem.
14:57:11.000 it.
14:57:34.000 Okay.
14:58:31.000 Was that actually a cockroach?
14:58:34.000 Crawling in my bed.
14:58:35.000 Yeah, look.
14:58:37.000 I'm not joking, Andrew.
14:58:38.000 I think it must have come in from the garden.
14:58:40.000 Either that or Rory's dicking with us.
14:58:44.000 It's food, bro.
14:58:46.000 As soon as food's around.
14:58:48.000 Huh?
14:58:48.000 As soon as food's around.
14:58:50.000 What?
14:58:51.000 As soon as food is around, bro.
14:58:53.000 There's food.
14:58:54.000 You got eggs on your bed and shit.
14:58:57.000 No way.
14:58:58.000 How legitimate is that?
14:59:00.000 Nah, it's only a tiny little bug.
14:59:01.000 I expect it doesn't think it's a cockroach at all.
14:59:02.000 Think it's some sort of firefly.
14:59:07.000 Killed him, that.
14:59:10.000 Nah, it's not a cockroach.
14:59:11.000 A real cockroach.
14:59:12.000 It's a beetle from the garden.
14:59:15.000 Well, that's authentic at least.
14:59:21.000 This isn't food, bro.
14:59:21.000 This is eggshell.
14:59:24.000 Walk on them.
14:59:27.000 I don't really understand what you're trying to say.
14:59:30.000 I was reading the Bible, and a beetle crawled up next to me.
14:59:36.000 It reminds me of jail!
14:59:41.000 Kimberly Bailey put a cigarette in my Bible.
14:59:43.000 He got me.
14:59:45.000 He really fucking got me.
14:59:48.000 Can you admit that you are not an origami master?
14:59:50.000 Well?
14:59:58.000 Five minute
15:00:00.000 So
15:01:24.000 so
15:02:22.000 I might pace back and forth.
15:02:49.000 I'm the one who asked if I had a good walk, you know?
15:02:51.000 What's the longest you think I've ever peaced for in jail?
15:02:59.000 3 hours?
15:02:59.000 4 hours?
15:02:59.000 hours for hours here for our sounds that way so we can get it to the next level. So, let's get on with the video.
15:03:27.000 92 days?
15:03:27.000 92 days of pasting.
15:03:35.000 Why is this room so hot?
15:03:40.000 Super hot.
15:03:40.000 Who are we bringing in jail with us?
15:03:51.000 Nobody.
15:03:52.000 Nobody?
15:03:52.000 next month we just do it again.
15:04:05.000 So interesting people in jail with us.
15:04:23.000 You do realize last night was Saturday night right?
15:04:43.000 It was the first Saturday night we were free to do anything we liked.
15:04:50.000 You realize that, right?
15:04:55.000 And we stayed in jail voluntarily.
15:05:00.000 That doesn't really make any sense.
15:05:05.000 But that's when jail gets you.
15:05:06.000 Sometimes it just gets you.
15:05:07.000 You can have plans, you know? How many of our plans are fucked up by this false imprisonment shenanigans?
15:05:15.000 So I'm going to do a quick video on how to get rid of false imprisonment.
15:05:35.000 How did you sleep yesterday?
15:06:02.000 Terribly?
15:06:02.000 Yep.
15:06:04.000 Same.
15:06:05.000 Too hot.
15:06:06.000 Crap pillow.
15:06:07.000 You snoring monster-face woke me up.
15:06:09.000 I'm not a monster. I'm a human.
15:06:15.000 so hello to someone say you know
15:06:35.000 I'm
15:07:17.000 Are they playing jail sound effects in the window?
15:07:22.000 That's what jail sounds like.
15:07:26.000 It's a pretty good sound effect.
15:07:33.000 Next time we'll do three days.
15:07:43.000 Three days in jail.
15:07:44.000 What do you think?
15:07:45.000 Thanks for watching.
15:07:51.000 I feel like the soup we had was worse than the soup we ate in jail.
15:07:54.000 You know why?
15:07:57.000 I feel like the soup we had in jail was well-intentioned people trying to make soup as good as they could with shit ingredients.
15:08:06.000 Whereas what we're eating now is badly-intentioned people trying to make soup taste bad with all the possibilities they can.
15:08:13.000 Maybe we change the briefcase.
15:08:22.000 Make us as good of a soup you can.
15:08:24.000 Your greetings are Walter Potatoes Salt and Pepper.
15:08:28.000 I'm taking this shirt off, but just so you all know, this I'm taking this shirt off, but just so you all know, this shirt and the posters can be found at TopGee.com, so you can actually get yourself one of these awesome shirts.
15:08:55.000 But this one I've slapped in, I've been training in, so I am changing it officially.
15:09:01.000 TopGee.com for all the merchandises.
15:09:10.000 This you can't get unless you fight for StormTube.
15:09:14.000 I encourage you to go do that as well.
15:10:17.000 I'm going to try to get the camera to focus.
15:11:27.000 I'm going to get a water bottle.
15:11:34.000 Cool.
15:11:41.000 I'm going to get a water bottle.
15:11:48.000 I'm going to get a water bottle.
15:11:55.000 Cool.
15:14:15.000 Do you think he's gonna get out?
15:14:34.000 Yeah, I think it'll work.
15:14:35.000 I think everyone who ever kicked off a jail got out.
15:14:40.000 Because we sat there calmly, they didn't let us out.
15:14:46.000 That's why we did 92 days, if we just screamed and shouted...
15:14:48.000 We would have got out too.
15:14:52.000 Probably right.
15:14:56.000 Next time we go to jail, we kick off.
15:15:02.000 Bye.
15:15:03.000 Scream and shout?
15:15:05.000 Scream and shout.
15:15:08.000 I think it might work.
15:15:10.000 Never too calm about it all.
15:15:16.000 I'm going to try to get it to work.
15:15:30.000 and had
15:15:59.000 Take Care and Bye Bye...
15:16:04.000 Please Subscribe and Like... Thanks for Watching...
15:16:13.000 this.
15:16:25.000 So, I'm going to go ahead and get started.
15:16:53.000 So, let's get started.
15:18:39.000 Take Brothers!
15:18:41.000 Take Brothers!
15:18:43.000 I want three cigarettes from Take Brothers!
15:18:46.000 100% accurate.
15:18:47.000 Do you know my people?
15:18:49.000 He's been listening to our jail stories.
15:19:00.000 Well in jail they were a lot friendlier.
15:19:06.000 They were a lot friendlier when they asked us for cigarettes in jail, a lot more respectful.
15:19:10.000 One cigarette!
15:19:11.000 Five cigarettes!
15:19:13.000 Take five! Take five!
15:19:18.000 You hear me, Tristan?
15:19:24.000 Instead of a bad Russian accent, they just spoke Romanian.
15:19:28.000 Thank you.
15:19:33.000 I'm gonna read this again, but not now.
15:19:36.000 So, um, I'm gonna read this again.
15:20:24.000 You give him a cigarette.
15:20:28.000 You give him a cigarette.
15:20:33.000 Give your mate a cigarette.
15:20:39.000 He doesn't want cigarettes.
15:20:40.000 Give your mate a cigarette.
15:20:42.000 I slid one through the door.
15:21:04.000 I don't know where it is.
15:21:11.000 It's in that window.
15:21:18.000 They listened to our jail stories and are doing a very good job of the jail experience.
15:21:24.000 Now I have to take them out.
15:21:34.000 Anyone want to know?
15:21:37.000 Maybe you should tell the audience about who that really was.
15:21:49.000 There was a real man in jail who did this exact same thing.
15:21:54.000 He was poor and had no money, and after I gave him cigarettes to help him out and make him feel better, he walked around the prison threatening people, saying he is now with the Tates, and if we start a fight on him, that all of us are going to beat him up.
15:22:08.000 Despite the fact that me and Andrew were locked in a different cell than him, so we had no way of helping him in his fights.
15:22:16.000 His name was Mustafa.
15:22:19.000 You had no way of helping him.
15:22:20.000 I did.
15:22:24.000 and he walked around the jail threatening everybody with us saying that we were going to beat him up and he was going to be a bad guy.
15:22:32.000 He was a bad guy.
15:22:52.000 Anyone mess with Tristan, they are dead.
15:22:55.000 Or Andrew, and take Matthew now.
15:22:59.000 Who wanted it?
15:23:03.000 Mustafa loves Tristan.
15:23:04.000 Pretty accurate.
15:23:06.000 It's pretty good, yeah.
15:23:10.000 It's like, for some reason, this fake Mustafa speaks perfect English.
15:23:16.000 Nothing's fake, mate.
15:23:18.000 We're in jail.
15:23:21.000 It's exactly the same as jail.
15:23:22.000 What antiques are we going to buy to furnish our new houses?
15:23:32.000 We'll buy a few more houses.
15:23:34.000 What antiques do we need?
15:23:38.000 I need a musket or a rifle fired at the Battle of Waterloo.
15:23:42.000 I need one of those.
15:23:45.000 I do need one.
15:23:46.000 That has to happen.
15:23:55.000 What are you gonna buy?
15:23:56.000 I don't believe in worldly treasures, mate.
15:24:02.000 You don't believe in worldly treasures?
15:24:03.000 No.
15:24:04.000 So you are not materialistic?
15:24:06.000 Correct.
15:24:11.000 You have four of the same supercar.
15:24:14.000 Three of the same diamond watch.
15:24:20.000 That's to stop others from getting them because I don't want other people to be materialistic.
15:24:24.000 I'm trying to save the world.
15:24:25.000 So let me get this straight.
15:24:29.000 If hypothetically, because obviously we have no cards, but if hypothetically we have 42 cards, us buying them and then locking ourselves in jail is a way of helping fight climate change And reduce materialism.
15:24:46.000 Because we own them, but we lock ourselves in jail instead of drive them.
15:24:50.000 Correct.
15:24:53.000 We're saving the world little by little, bro.
15:24:56.000 Little by little, my friend.
15:24:57.000 You truly are selfish.
15:24:59.000 Selfless.
15:25:01.000 You're a truly selfless man.
15:25:02.000 They're real.
15:25:03.000 You buy a massive percentage of the world's supercars, more than anyone really needs.
15:25:08.000 Yep.
15:25:10.000 Keep them undriven and you lock yourself in a room.
15:25:13.000 Exactly.
15:25:14.000 Kind of like hermits of really expensive churches back in the day when they had gold and all the things that were accessible and all the worldly treasures of man.
15:25:23.000 They would just not really eat and just pray all day and lock themselves away.
15:25:27.000 Exactly.
15:25:29.000 Is that you now?
15:25:30.000 Yes.
15:25:31.000 Andrew the Hermit.
15:25:33.000 It's a good idea.
15:25:45.000 You are saving the world.
15:25:46.000 Because think about it, if you bought every car on Earth, yeah?
15:25:50.000 And you owned every one, and you locked yourself in jail, no cars would be driving.
15:25:55.000 So you're doing your bit.
15:25:56.000 You only, I mean, obviously we don't have any cars.
15:26:01.000 But theoretically, if you had over 40, you've taken 40 cars off the road.
15:26:09.000 Climate change.
15:26:11.000 Wish the climate in here would fucking change.
15:26:18.000 It's hot.
15:26:22.000 Couldn't we have picked a colder day to do this?
15:26:28.000 Guess you don't pick your times in jail, though, do you?
15:26:31.000 When it's too hot, the climate has changed.
15:26:32.000 When it's too cold, the weather doesn't represent the climate.
15:26:35.000 OK?
15:26:35.000 Global boiling.
15:26:42.000 Thank you.
15:26:46.000 Global toiling is what they want.
15:26:49.000 Global spoiling.
15:26:53.000 Global foiling.
15:26:54.000 It's when you wrap the earth in foil to bake it like a potato.
15:27:17.000 I don't believe the atmosphere is real.
15:27:18.000 I think it's conspiracy theory.
15:27:23.000 Tell me, have you ever seen the atmosphere?
15:27:25.000 I've never seen it.
15:27:31.000 Peasants.
15:27:50.000 So you're no longer materialistic.
15:28:09.000 What are you gonna do with all the money that people think you have?
15:28:12.000 Of course we haven't got any money.
15:28:15.000 Well, hundreds of millions of dollars.
15:28:16.000 Yeah, what are you gonna do with it?
15:28:18.000 If you had hundreds of millions of dollars, what would you do?
15:28:22.000 Put myself in a simulated jail.
15:28:25.000 That is what you'd do, isn't it?
15:28:26.000 in it. I might go live in a cave on an island in the middle of nowhere.
15:28:43.000 Bye.
15:28:46.000 How much are private islands?
15:28:47.000 Epstein ruined private islands though, didn't he?
15:28:49.000 I think private islands would be boring, bro.
15:28:52.000 It'd be boring as fuck.
15:28:54.000 They're cheap.
15:28:56.000 I'll buy one now.
15:28:57.000 They're cheap.
15:28:57.000 A couple hundred grand, but you gotta watch infrastructure, electricity, food, sewage, set everything up there, build something there, move everyone to it.
15:29:06.000 To do what?
15:29:06.000 What are you gonna do that's so private you can't just do it in a hotel?
15:29:09.000 We're not fucking pedos.
15:29:11.000 That's what I mean.
15:29:12.000 Epstein ruined the private island.
15:29:13.000 I'm gonna do. Oh, I'm gonna girls. I'll do that in my to an island. Have a thre That's a good point. That of dorky dude. He's like, all these hot girls. I ne your penis that small? Yo your small peepee that bad.
15:29:35.000 From the rest of the world.
15:29:36.000 From the rest of the world?
15:29:37.000 From every federal jurisdiction.
15:29:39.000 From civilization?
15:29:40.000 So let's see how short your dick is.
15:29:42.000 They can spy on me all they want and see how huge my cock is.
15:29:44.000 I don't give a fuck.
15:29:45.000 I have sex at my house.
15:29:50.000 We are kind of getting them.
15:29:52.000 They're spying on us.
15:29:53.000 So what we do is we put live cameras on us all the time so the whole world can watch us.
15:29:59.000 Just don't human traffic anyone.
15:30:01.000 So tell me what to do.
15:30:02.000 Andrew, I've been doing TikTok and I made some money, so I'm going to give you a cigarette and that means I'm human trafficked.
15:30:07.000 Agreed.
15:30:09.000 Warriors, if you were a ghost, what would you do?
15:30:32.000 Thank you.
15:30:33.000 Talked about this at length on a tape speech.
15:30:37.000 Tell me.
15:30:38.000 I don't want your fucking Rumble channel.
15:30:40.000 You should.
15:30:41.000 Why?
15:30:42.000 Because it was really long and detailed and funny.
15:30:46.000 And I can't be bothered to say it again.
15:30:48.000 Nothing about you is funny.
15:30:50.000 But it explains perfectly why 99% of people who say they have a ghost story are lying about ghost stories.
15:30:55.000 Whoa!
15:31:00.000 In this country we have something called the pursuit of happiness, Andrew.
15:31:02.000 I read it somewhere.
15:31:06.000 I'm a ghost.
15:31:53.000 I'm going to go ahead and get this.
15:32:34.000 Imagine you rented your house, worked a job.
15:32:40.000 Imagine they just threw you in jail.
15:32:43.000 And you were working a job to rent a house where your wife and kids lived in, and they relied on your income and your money.
15:32:49.000 Imagine how destructive that must be.
15:32:56.000 Forty.
15:32:58.000 Thirty.
15:32:59.000 40, 30, which is 140.
15:33:02.000 40, 300.
15:33:02.000 Then 40, 40, 40, 420.
15:33:02.000 So you learned how to count.
15:33:05.000 Plus 40, 460, and that was just 40.
15:33:08.000 500.
15:33:10.000 So you can count.
15:33:12.000 Halfway to a thousand.
15:33:13.000 So you learned how to count.
15:33:15.000 Plus 4460 and that was just 40.
15:33:17.000 500.
15:33:19.000 So you can count.
15:33:21.000 Halfway to a thousand.
15:33:23.000 Can you count?
15:33:25.000 To a thousand pushups a day in jail?
15:33:27.000 Do a thousand push-ups here.
15:33:28.000 Who can count higher, Meera?
15:33:30.000 Then I'm gonna read my mail.
15:33:33.000 Oh, good day ahead, mate.
15:33:35.000 I'm loving it!
15:33:37.000 When the whole world comes, I'm making noodles in a bowl.
15:33:40.000 Whoa, whoa, whoa.
15:33:41.000 This is your only chance to redeem yourself in front of the world and make noodles in a cup.
15:33:45.000 Don't be a coward, Tristan.
15:33:46.000 No.
15:33:47.000 Don't be a pussy.
15:33:48.000 Don't have noodles in a bowl.
15:33:49.000 I don't believe in cups.
15:33:50.000 Don't do it again.
15:33:50.000 To yourself.
15:33:51.000 And to humanity.
15:33:54.000 I don't even want noodles.
15:33:55.000 I just might make them in a bowl just to prove to you that there are other ways of doing things.
15:33:59.000 500 more push-ups.
15:34:00.000 Andrew, the pursuit of happiness.
15:34:02.000 Read my mail.
15:34:05.000 Jail's great.
15:34:07.000 Is it, though?
15:34:08.000 It's just like the good old days.
15:34:11.000 We did have good old days in jail, didn't we?
15:34:13.000 Remember when Demolition Man came on TV?
15:34:17.000 We waited three days for that movie to come on.
15:34:20.000 We did.
15:34:23.000 The first woman in the world that I've ever found myself attracted to was Sandra Bullock in Demolition Man.
15:34:33.000 That was the first time I ever remember thinking a girl was hot.
15:34:36.000 It was Sandra Bullock in Demolition Man.
15:34:48.000 And Gwen Stefani in the song Don't Speak when she was still with that band of people who never became anything.
15:34:58.000 I'm not a pedo.
15:34:59.000 I don't want a private island.
15:35:02.000 I'm very sure.
15:35:03.000 Yeah.
15:35:03.000 In fact, I think pedophiles should be murdered.
15:35:06.000 Can I say that on the internet?
15:35:07.000 Or is that hate against the sexual orientation now in 2023?
15:35:11.000 Any more super chats and mail all the new super chats.
15:35:21.000 We get 839 o'clock tonight.
15:35:26.000 Thank you.
15:35:27.000 The next round of mail.
15:35:30.000 I can't see chat.
15:35:33.000 Our chat on our screen's frozen.
15:35:36.000 Too small anyway, I can't see it.
15:35:37.000 Any superchats we'll get as mail.
15:35:39.000 I'm gonna go through all these and read them out, the good ones, and answer them all.
15:35:44.000 I have to do 500 more pushups.
15:35:47.000 I'll read some out while we're doing that.
15:35:50.000 When I stop sweating, I'm going to do more bicep curls.
15:35:52.000 I'm going to wait till later.
15:35:53.000 We pick the hottest time of the day.
15:35:55.000 Get fucked.
15:35:56.000 I want to thank you both for all your wisdom you've bestowed upon the youth.
15:36:01.000 I'm a member of the marketing campus and would love it if you'd look into the camera and say... No, I'm not looking into the camera and saying anything, Dean Dollar.
15:36:07.000 Sorry, mate.
15:36:10.000 Maybe in jail, but I'm not going to say it because I'm so stupid.
15:36:13.000 Not doing it.
15:36:17.000 I really connected with y'all when you first started, and it's like I thought and felt the way Andrew thinks my entire life from a toddler.
15:36:26.000 I request to play Missing by No Mercy.
15:36:29.000 Is that a song?
15:36:32.000 There's no song requests in jail, bruv.
15:36:34.000 Bruce A.B.L.
15:36:35.000 What kind of jail has song requests?
15:36:38.000 In fact, we had three really crappy music channels.
15:36:41.000 that we'd sometimes put on.
15:36:42.000 And we heard, over our 92 days, a total of probably five songs that we liked.
15:36:50.000 Andrew and Tristan are my favorite.
15:36:51.000 I wish we could meet.
15:36:53.000 I will become financially independent.
15:36:55.000 Resist the slave mind.
15:36:56.000 From Cody Hernandez.
15:36:59.000 There's a chance I can meet anyone who's sending me these.
15:37:01.000 One day.
15:37:03.000 But, eagles fly with eagles, and seagulls fly with seagulls.
15:37:08.000 In the words of BigHerb916.
15:37:11.000 So, you're going to be a little seagull and try and fly with me.
15:37:15.000 It ain't going to work.
15:37:17.000 Whereas there are lots of people in the world who I would love to meet because they are G's.
15:37:20.000 So we come in G first.
15:37:22.000 Jason has an idea for his business.
15:37:29.000 This is his Instagram.
15:37:30.000 Please contact me.
15:37:31.000 Jason, I don't have Instagram and I wish you good luck in your business.
15:37:35.000 But if it's a good business idea, you don't need me.
15:37:39.000 I have a business idea usually means I need some money from you.
15:37:44.000 Or, I don't have a good business idea.
15:37:46.000 I need you to make it successful.
15:37:49.000 Your business idea is good, Jason.
15:37:50.000 You'll do it without us.
15:37:52.000 Good luck.
15:37:56.000 Life is war.
15:37:56.000 You have two close allies, time and attention.
15:37:59.000 Time is the wise guy, attention is the fool.
15:38:01.000 Control the fool in directing towards your goal and the wise guy will make you stronger.
15:38:05.000 Jordan Shields.
15:38:07.000 Interesting.
15:38:09.000 Tristan harnesses the chi of the bed frame, and in doing so, he's choking Andrew with bed frame aikido.
15:38:14.000 I think you were talking about yesterday, when I was trying to control the speed of the earth to speed up and slow down our prison time.
15:38:21.000 By holding onto the bed frame.
15:38:23.000 Is that what was happening?
15:38:24.000 Yeah.
15:38:24.000 I'm thinking of going back to living in Russia after 17 years living in Australia.
15:38:31.000 I believe Australia is becoming like a prison.
15:38:33.000 People here are nice, but the government.
15:38:36.000 Well, SkiffCCCP.
15:38:41.000 I get that.
15:38:41.000 Most people don't know CCCP is the Russian designation of USSR.
15:38:46.000 I do understand that.
15:38:48.000 Go back to living in Russia or Australia.
15:38:49.000 Andrew, where would you rather live?
15:38:50.000 Russia or Australia?
15:38:51.000 Depends if I was Russian or not.
15:38:55.000 Depends how much money I had.
15:38:56.000 Depends how I was making money.
15:38:58.000 Depends on lots of things.
15:38:59.000 Andrew, any aspect of Islam you're finding difficult to practice?
15:39:04.000 Tristan, how has Andrew's conversion affected you, since many things are off limits?
15:39:12.000 Andrew doesn't drink anymore.
15:39:13.000 He tries incredibly hard.
15:39:14.000 He takes Islam incredibly seriously.
15:39:16.000 Serenity now 830.
15:39:19.000 I'm a full grown man and Andrew's a full grown man.
15:39:21.000 I don't give a shit if he doesn't want to drink a vodka martini with me.
15:39:24.000 I'll drink vodka martinis by myself or with someone else or on a date.
15:39:28.000 Andrew can do what he likes.
15:39:31.000 He'll be 40 in a couple of years.
15:39:33.000 I'm not going to tell him what to do or what to think.
15:39:36.000 So no, I don't think any of it has been difficult for Andrew, but he's still learning, as all of us are.
15:39:45.000 The world is lucky to have you, Matrix Neverwing, from Carter Lundy 10.
15:39:53.000 There's a famous clip of someone blasting your theme song outside of the prison, did you hear it?
15:39:56.000 Yes, we did hear the theme song from within prison, and even now they're playing it outside of this prison.
15:40:05.000 Rayaz, Escape the Matrix, AdamSZ22.
15:40:09.000 Tell your brothers, peace and blessings be upon you.
15:40:11.000 My grandfather just ended his life after 76 years.
15:40:15.000 His house broke down.
15:40:16.000 He invented a rehabilitation exercise desk for you to have.
15:40:21.000 I'm not sure what that means, but sorry to hear about your grandfather.
15:40:25.000 Peace and blessings be upon you also.
15:40:28.000 Book recommendation.
15:40:30.000 The Kybalion.
15:40:31.000 A book for intelligent individuals like yourself, written 129 years ago.
15:40:34.000 Highly encouraged checking it out if you haven't already.
15:40:37.000 From Felix DuPont.
15:40:39.000 Felix Dupont.
15:40:43.000 Interesting name.
15:40:45.000 Hi, G. My brother and I suffer from a genetic neurological disease called Alivordan's fats.
15:41:01.000 I could search it when you Google in your escape, Do you have any advice?
15:41:06.000 I can't advise you because I don't know the medical condition that you have, but my advice is always going to be the same.
15:41:12.000 You know, I have a very minor medical condition, but lots of people I know have various medical conditions from diabetes to arthritis.
15:41:22.000 Work as hard as you can.
15:41:23.000 Become the best version of yourself that you can.
15:41:27.000 Andrew, you saved my life.
15:41:28.000 I lost my little sister to cancer and my father to alcoholism.
15:41:31.000 For so long, I thought I was lost in life.
15:41:32.000 You taught me how to recover and be better.
15:41:35.000 That makes me very happy.
15:41:39.000 I'm glad.
15:41:39.000 I'm on a dinner date.
15:41:46.000 She said you have to turn that off.
15:41:48.000 I said fuck that.
15:41:49.000 From Hulk as fuck.
15:41:52.000 Hulk, my friend, I'm going to disagree with you a little bit.
15:41:55.000 Me and my brother have locked ourselves in jail for you all to see for the next 24 hours.
15:42:00.000 I would have said my advice to you, young man, would be Don't take a girl on a dinner date if you have something else that you'd rather be doing.
15:42:09.000 I think that women who go out on dates with men, and this is why women should never pay for dates ever, women are paying with their time and their attention and their beauty and, you know, how good they make you look when you're sitting opposite them.
15:42:22.000 And if she's dedicated herself and her time to get all dolled up and go out on a date The idea of her going isn't to impress you.
15:42:32.000 The idea is that she's giving you a chance to impress her, which is pretty good of her.
15:42:38.000 So if you were really dedicated to watching this live, which I do appreciate, you should have scheduled the dinner for tomorrow night and taken the girl out tomorrow.
15:42:47.000 I don't think it's polite or gentlemanly to be sitting there watching a live stream while on a date.
15:42:53.000 So reschedule next time, is my advice.
15:43:00.000 I'm making around two grand a month from lessons I've learned inside the real world.
15:43:04.000 I'd do anything to help you out.
15:43:06.000 You saved me, man.
15:43:07.000 I was being tortured before.
15:43:09.000 From Ilya Sokhar.
15:43:10.000 Hopefully not literally tortured, my friend.
15:43:12.000 There are lots of different types of torture.
15:43:15.000 I hope that you're fine.
15:43:17.000 I'm glad I helped you out.
15:43:19.000 I think that mine and Andrew's message is one of positivity.
15:43:23.000 And I don't... In fact, I've never heard of a case Where someone said, I started listening to the Tate Brothers, actually listening to them.
15:43:32.000 Not listening to what is said about us, not listening to what the BBC purport about us.
15:43:36.000 I don't think there's been a single case of anyone ever saying, I've been listening to the Tate Brothers and taking their advice.
15:43:42.000 My life has become worse.
15:43:44.000 I'm a worse person and the people around me are suffering more.
15:43:49.000 I don't think that could happen.
15:43:50.000 If anyone does say that they are lying or they are not Truly following what Andrew and I represent.
15:43:58.000 I think we're a force for good in the world.
15:44:01.000 And I just love getting the stories from all you millions of young men who have improved your lives because of listening to our teachings and our advice.
15:44:09.000 So you're welcome.
15:44:10.000 And thank you for sending me these messages.
15:44:12.000 Because they make me realize that when I am stuck in this exact environment for months and months on end and people are trying to silence me, and especially my brother, that it's worth it.
15:44:24.000 It's worth it.
15:44:26.000 Oh, last one. Andrew's a loser.
15:44:35.000 Bye.
15:44:36.000 From Talisman Tate on Rumble.
15:44:41.000 $500 superchat for extra attention.
15:44:47.000 Did you hear that last one?
15:44:49.000 No.
15:44:51.000 I like your D&G t-shirt.
15:45:20.000 D&D teacher.
15:45:24.000 I still told you nirvana is it See what I've done there?
15:45:32.000 D&G t-shirts.
15:45:34.000 Dolce & Gabbana.
15:45:36.000 No.
15:45:36.000 D&G.
15:45:38.000 Every single time one of these is bought from TopGee.com, every time you buy a DNG t-shirt, Matt Shea gets an email address, gives an email to his personal email address reminding him that he is a disgraced news gatherer, deluded narrative generator, and a discredited news guardian, a dork, a nerd, a geek, the DNG.
15:45:58.000 And you buy these and give them to the DNGs in your lives.
15:46:02.000 And I even have a little picture of Matt Shea with a shopping cart because he looks homeless all the time, every time he sees us.
15:46:06.000 He's wearing the same clothes every day.
15:46:09.000 He flies around economy to different parts of the world to try to bother our friends who ignore him.
15:46:15.000 He was this close, Andrew, to being a somebody.
15:46:33.000 If he had just portrayed the War Room event As we know, he really did portray it.
15:46:40.000 Man, this really helped me.
15:46:41.000 I see how this helps guys with confidence and self-esteem.
15:46:44.000 And yeah, this is awesome.
15:46:46.000 You know, when he had his little snake face on.
15:46:49.000 When he was really enjoying himself, and it made him a better person, he could have just, you know, stuck with that.
15:46:56.000 Because now that this imaginary case is falling apart, and we're clearly not human traffickers, what has he got to go on?
15:47:04.000 He thought hating us was cool.
15:47:05.000 It's cool amongst him and his little DNG group of friends, but the world disagrees.
15:47:10.000 He has to turn the comments off when he makes things.
15:47:17.000 Imagine...
15:47:22.000 And here's the good thing.
15:47:24.000 If I was so hated, like the DNG really is, because we're not, and every time I posted Everyone typed hate at me and called me a loser.
15:47:36.000 I'm not hated.
15:47:36.000 When I post something, I get, what, 500 good comments to every bad one?
15:47:41.000 But if I was that detested and that contemptible and worm-like that every time I posted something, as a snake, everyone attacked me and called me out for being a snake and what I am, I am mentally strong enough to read the comments and smile and keep posting.
15:48:00.000 Somewhere, in his tiny bedroom, at night, after making his posts, he reads, and then he clicks- comments disabled- and he clicks it off, because he can't take it.
15:48:14.000 I could take jail.
15:48:16.000 I could take worldwide persecution.
15:48:19.000 I could take, despite being the father of adultery, being called a human trafficker for a year and a half, so people think I buy, sell, and pimp people.
15:48:29.000 I can take it.
15:48:31.000 But he can't take the comments.
15:48:34.000 He has to turn them off.
15:48:36.000 I can imagine his sad little face as he disables his comments.
15:48:43.000 It's super pathetic.
15:48:45.000 He lives in total obscurity, and whenever he pokes his head above the grass, which is talking about you, whenever he ever gets noticed by anybody during his hit pieces he does on you, everyone calls him a DNG and asks him for chocolates.
15:49:07.000 And I think that's going to continue for the rest of his life.
15:49:09.000 Who is ever going to let that man interview him again?
15:49:17.000 again.
15:49:18.000 Thank you.
15:49:18.000 Thank you.
15:49:22.000 Good question.
15:49:32.000 He turns off the comments, because he can't take it.
15:49:36.000 Pretty funny, really, isn't it?
15:49:44.000 It's actually hilarious.
15:49:50.000 No, the comments hurt his little feelings.
15:49:53.000 Little baby feelings.
15:49:55.000 Remember when he was outside trying to negotiate his way into this house with his chocolates in his hand?
15:50:02.000 Hey, hey, is Andrew scared to talk to me?
15:50:04.000 Shut up.
15:50:06.000 Fucking DNG.
15:50:07.000 DNG.
15:50:08.000 Embarrassing.
15:50:09.000 I'm not scared of you, you little pussy.
15:50:10.000 Invite him back.
15:50:13.000 I feel bad for him.
15:50:15.000 Come on, give him a chance.
15:50:16.000 He ruined his whole life.
15:50:17.000 Well, he's ruined it himself.
15:50:22.000 He's ruined his own life, and his own career.
15:50:28.000 I bet he never got recognised in the street ever, ever, ever, until now, and I bet when he does, it's D&G, where's my chocolates?
15:50:34.000 Probably.
15:50:37.000 Probably.
15:50:38.000 When I get recognised in the street, I'm like, oh, can I have a photo of you, please, just give me a hug, give me a handshake, man, I admire you so much.
15:50:44.000 Imagine them just saying chocolates to you.
15:50:51.000 Because I don't condone bullying of any type.
15:50:53.000 But asking a man for chocolates isn't bullying.
15:50:56.000 but it must hurt.
15:50:58.000 Every single super chat, we run out, we get the new mail.
15:51:06.000 All the money goes to Tate Pledge, we're saving the world.
15:51:09.000 Read some more.
15:51:10.000 After my push-ups.
15:51:13.000 Saving them.
15:51:13.000 At least something to look forward to.
15:51:17.000 It's a real thing that you do in jail.
15:51:18.000 Get lighters, you save them.
15:51:20.000 What was that?
15:51:26.000 You know the rules of jail?
15:51:29.000 Oh my God.
15:51:31.000 You know the time by the schedule of things arriving.
15:51:33.000 Who'd win the water drinking contest, me or you?
15:51:54.000 You.
15:51:56.000 So you admit that you can drink water?
15:51:58.000 We can even race now if you want.
15:51:59.000 I think you'll smoke me.
15:52:02.000 What, two litre race?
15:52:05.000 You'll smoke me, Bruce.
15:52:07.000 Two litres of water race?
15:52:09.000 Yeah.
15:52:11.000 Alright, let's go.
15:52:17.000 Loser has to eat his spoonful of coffee.
15:52:20.000 So does the winner.
15:52:22.000 Nice.
15:52:24.000 Ready?
15:52:26.000 I'm standing up, huh?
15:52:28.000 I'm not sitting down.
15:52:30.000 No, no, no, it doesn't matter.
15:52:32.000 I can't drink these quickly, I don't know how to do it.
15:52:34.000 3, 2, 1.
15:52:36.000 Half.
15:53:00.000 You win, you gluttonous cunt.
15:53:08.000 Happy?
15:53:09.000 You and Neil happy now on your spaceship?
15:53:11.000 Consuming wool chips doesn't make you gluttonous.
15:53:14.000 That's what Neil told me.
15:53:15.000 It does make you want to pee though.
15:53:17.000 That's what Neil told me.
15:53:18.000 So I'm going to use the bathroom.
15:53:21.000 My penis is a spectrum.
15:53:23.000 Hello.
15:53:25.000 Hello.
15:53:27.000 but
15:53:50.000 if
15:54:14.000 So you've lost the great war, Race.
15:54:37.000 The Great Walter Race of Jail.
15:54:39.000 I'm going to So far.
15:55:04.000 Have you ever seen those memes?
15:55:12.000 With all the time in the world.
15:55:13.000 What time is it?
15:55:14.000 Have you ever seen those memes where the girl's looking at a guy on the phone?
15:55:17.000 No.
15:55:17.000 And she's like, he's probably talking to other girls.
15:55:21.000 Someone make a meme of the guy just watching the Tate Livestream prison feast.
15:55:27.000 Us sleeping.
15:55:28.000 I was watching off sleep for seven hours.
15:55:31.000 Lord, two worlds collide.
15:55:47.000 Bravo, nations.
15:55:50.000 I'm still singing that song.
15:55:51.000 It's a primitive pact.
15:55:53.000 19 years of frustration.
15:55:56.000 I mean, you can't drink water, I guess.
15:55:58.000 I mean, you're scared of water.
15:56:00.000 I mean, you're scared if your stomach gets wet, you'll cry.
15:56:03.000 If my stomach gets wet, I cry.
15:56:05.000 Yeah.
15:56:07.000 I'm not a virgin.
15:56:08.000 I'm I'm gonna name my sons Athos, Porthos, and Aramis.
15:56:22.000 Did you hear me?
15:56:23.000 me. I'm gonna name one of my sons Balthazar.
15:56:36.000 And now you say you love me. Just to prove you do.
15:56:51.000 I want you to eat noodles from a cup.
15:56:55.000 Noodles from a cup.
15:56:58.000 Noodles from a bowl.
15:57:01.000 Bar for five.
15:57:04.000 I don't want to talk to you anymore.
15:57:07.000 I bet you can't name three songs.
15:57:16.000 That's it.
15:57:17.000 Three songs.
15:57:18.000 Correct.
15:57:19.000 You're right, I can't.
15:57:20.000 Go on, name three songs.
15:57:22.000 You're so fucking smart.
15:57:24.000 Jingle Bells, Happy Birthday.
15:57:28.000 Tim, Stockholm 2.
15:57:32.000 66% there.
15:57:33.000 32% fucking failures.
15:57:34.000 That's all I know.
15:57:38.000 I don't know any other song.
15:58:06.000 Stop fucking whistling.
15:58:08.000 I'm going to do it.
15:58:21.000 Shut the **** up.
15:58:37.000 **** you. What you do?
15:58:44.000 Bye.
15:58:46.000 Nothing, as usual, for your life.
15:58:48.000 I'll talk.
15:58:53.000 Mr. Talker.
15:58:53.000 Mr. Big Talker.
15:58:58.000 Well?
15:59:01.000 Well?
15:59:03.000 We'll take it to a thousand push-ups.
15:59:05.000 I expect lots of people to send us superchats.
15:59:09.000 To take pledge.
15:59:10.000 Gonna make some money to take pledge for the children in Syria.
15:59:13.000 If I'm doing a thousand push-ups, you're a lazy motherfucker, shouldn't do them all with me.
15:59:18.000 You probably didn't even do them with me, you're all losers.
15:59:20.000 If you were half a man, you would've watched this stream and did push-ups every time I did push-ups.
15:59:25.000 At least save the starving kids.
15:59:27.000 Be a force for good in the world.
15:59:30.000 Instead of being a gluttonous idiot like my brother here.
15:59:33.000 The inventor of the most disgusting utensil that's ever existed.
15:59:37.000 This offends me.
15:59:39.000 Let me show the people at home what you've been doing.
15:59:41.000 It is an abomination.
15:59:42.000 Let me show what my brother's been doing in his spare time.
15:59:45.000 My brother, along with Neil deGrasse Tyson, preparing for their space journey through the solar system, decided they needed both a fork and a spoon, and unhappy with having two utensils, or the widely renowned and very well respected spork, they invented this.
16:00:03.000 The foon.
16:00:04.000 The fuck is this?
16:00:06.000 It's a foon.
16:00:09.000 Sit in zero gravity surrounded by these floating utensils.
16:00:13.000 Don't you?
16:00:14.000 No.
16:00:14.000 You do.
16:00:15.000 I've never met Neil deGrasse Tyson.
16:00:16.000 USS Spectrum.
16:00:19.000 The Pursuit of Happiness.
16:00:20.000 And this is bullshit.
16:00:21.000 And you know it.
16:00:24.000 It's disgusting.
16:00:27.000 That's why you're in jail.
16:00:29.000 For this?
16:00:31.000 To be fair, if I invented this, I'd deserve far more jail time than I've ever served.
16:00:38.000 This is an abomination, isn't it?
16:00:40.000 Is this the worst thing humanity has ever done?
16:00:52.000 Let me show the camera again.
16:00:54.000 No, I think that may be, Andrew.
16:00:55.000 The worst thing humanity has ever done.
16:00:57.000 Let me show the camera again.
16:00:59.000 It's a fork and a spoon.
16:01:01.000 It's the worst thing that's ever happened to anybody, ever.
16:01:08.000 Look at this.
16:01:09.000 This is what Tristan and Neil deGrasse Tyson want for the world.
16:01:12.000 It's not.
16:01:14.000 That's why they fly around on their spaceship.
16:01:16.000 This, look!
16:01:18.000 Explain this to me!
16:01:22.000 You can't.
16:01:22.000 No logical man can explain this to me.
16:01:25.000 No rational human.
16:01:30.000 I'm going to join the King's Musketeers.
16:01:32.000 Did you hear me?
16:01:38.000 I'm going to join the King's Musketeers.
16:01:52.000 You're going to what?
16:01:54.000 I'm going to join the King's Musketeers.
16:01:56.000 Okay.
16:01:56.000 Okay.
16:01:57.000 You have a problem with that?
16:02:01.000 No.
16:02:05.000 No.
16:02:07.000 Admit that your real name is Cardinal Rieschler.
16:02:11.000 Thank you.
16:02:17.000 Well?
16:02:19.000 Who's that?
16:02:37.000 The enemy of the King's Musketeers.
16:02:39.000 Cardinal?
16:02:40.000 Slur.
16:02:40.000 Sit down.
16:02:42.000 Oh, people had really good names back then.
16:02:45.000 I need a lackey.
16:03:08.000 I've decided, Andrew.
16:03:17.000 I'm going to buy a gilded horse carriage, hear me out, and be squired around town in a horse carriage.
16:03:27.000 Are you listening?
16:03:27.000 In a horse carriage. Are you listening?
16:03:30.000 No.
16:03:31.000 In 605, where's my pen?
16:03:34.000 I stole it.
16:03:36.000 I'm sorry.
16:04:05.000 I can't anymore.
16:04:06.000 That's even number 620.
16:04:07.000 I'm sorry.
16:04:34.000 From now on you have to call me Monsieur de Treville.
16:04:38.000 That's my name.
16:04:41.000 Okay?
16:04:45.000 Don't forget it.
16:04:47.000 I am.
16:04:47.000 I'm head of the King's Musketeers.
16:04:50.000 Captain of the King's Musketeers, Monsieur de Treville.
16:04:54.000 That's my name.
16:04:56.000 Let's go round again Maybe return back the hands of time.
16:05:12.000 Let's go round again.
16:05:15.000 One more time.
16:05:17.000 Stop singing that.
16:05:21.000 One more time.
16:05:23.000 What do you like?
16:05:27.000 Kung Fu Japan broke it.
16:05:29.000 I wouldn't really care that much.
16:05:34.000 I can't break a special.
16:05:35.000 One strike.
16:05:36.000 Did not.
16:05:38.000 Straight.
16:05:39.000 I smashed the cello.
16:05:41.000 We'll stop when we need it.
16:05:44.000 I'm going to manufacture a chain.
16:05:45.000 This is not fucking good.
16:05:51.000 I'm gonna get a couple of food.
16:05:53.000 This is the most disgusting thing I've ever created.
16:05:55.000 Hey, I bent the metal bar.
16:06:13.000 Well, there's nothing I can remove there.
16:06:15.000 It's too rigid.
16:06:17.000 Let's see.
16:06:19.000 Here we go.
16:06:23.000 So my shank manufacturing is going too well.
16:06:43.000 Go bring the ladder off.
16:06:45.000 I'm scared to snap off.
16:06:47.000 You two pull aside.
16:06:57.000 Alright.
16:06:59.000 3, 2, 1.
16:07:01.000 It's stronger than we thought.
16:07:07.000 It's bent out slightly.
16:07:09.000 I feel like standing on it would be easier.
16:07:11.000 Boom.
16:07:13.000 Bang.
16:07:15.000 Bye.
16:07:19.000 Nice.
16:07:20.000 Getting somewhere.
16:07:22.000 That's my superhuman strength.
16:07:28.000 Now I can just somehow hammer it down and cold smith it into this thing.
16:07:38.000 There we go.
16:07:40.000 There we go.
16:07:42.000 It's kind of sharp.
16:08:10.000 but you could cut someone with it.
16:08:12.000 It's already a cutter.
16:08:14.000 I'm not sure if it's a stabber though.
16:08:18.000 You know?
16:08:20.000 I need something heavier to back it with.
16:08:26.000 passion.
16:08:28.000 In fact, I'll use that ladder itself.
16:08:35.000 It's bending, sure.
16:08:42.000 I can flatten it with a nice smooth blade.
16:08:49.000 I'll give you a way of flattening it now.
16:08:56.000 Flatten it and sharpen it.
16:09:03.000 It's not that wet.
16:09:20.000 It's a bit sharp, but it's not razor sharp.
16:09:35.000 You could injure someone with it quite badly.
16:09:36.000 Take an eye out.
16:09:38.000 Scrape the skin off their face.
16:09:41.000 It's not excellent.
16:09:44.000 Who are we going to shank?
16:09:47.000 There's only us two here.
16:09:49.000 each other.
16:09:56.000 What a battle.
16:10:03.000 That is a good technique.
16:10:10.000 I think I'll lift it up especially.
16:10:13.000 Put your foot on the shank.
16:10:20.000 Yeah, and then use this as like a... It's hard to get the weight.
16:10:30.000 It's hard to put the weight down.
16:10:37.000 I'm going to try to get it to work.
16:10:44.000 I'm going to try to get it to work.
16:10:51.000 The screw isn't sharp.
16:11:18.000 Bye.
16:11:20.000 Unfortunately.
16:11:26.000 Otherwise, if the screw was sharp, this would be a weapon that I'd set myself now.
16:11:34.000 Really get someone over the head with this, you know.
16:11:36.000 🎵
16:11:44.000 There's ways to make easier shanks, but...
16:11:47.000 The classic way, for you ladies and gentlemen watching at home, is to take a normal plastic toothbrush and spend hours just rolling it around on the floor, scraping the edges off to its nice point.
16:11:59.000 Thank you.
16:12:01.000 And you keep it in your sock, and you're safe from attackers.
16:12:06.000 Unless I'm the attacker, because you're not gonna kill me with the toothbrush.
16:12:13.000 What are you doing?
16:12:18.000 What are you rattling?
16:12:20.000 Well, I'll be lucky, because you're a baby.
16:12:33.000 Oooh, but Noahus, did you smell the odor?
16:12:37.000 I'm jealous.
16:12:44.000 Nice. Noahus, I smelled the odor.
16:12:55.000 Baby, don't move.
16:13:01.000 You can try to calm down, but you won't be calm.
16:13:16.000 No.
16:14:00.000 I'm not sure if you're reaching up to him, Malaire.
16:14:06.000 He looks higher.
16:14:08.000 He looks like he's a G.
16:14:10.000 He's a tall, fair-headed, racist Texan.
16:14:19.000 The Bond books, he's a G.
16:14:25.000 I don't know if Harry's not in that book though.
16:14:28.000 Every time Felix Fire appears, the book gets better.
16:14:39.000 Your turn to clean the cell.
16:14:42.000 I cleaned it last night.
16:14:43.000 Fuck off, you loser.
16:14:45.000 I'm sure I'll sleep this out, just after X-Maxxer.
16:14:52.000 Maybe you can't do the Walter.
16:14:56.000 Give me the ladder.
16:15:00.000 You're a water loser.
16:15:01.000 Admit it.
16:15:02.000 I'll give you the ladder if you admit that you were afraid of your stomach getting wet and couldn't even finish one bottle of water.
16:15:09.000 Admit it!
16:15:09.000 See, I was scared of my stomach getting wet.
16:15:11.000 The guard's going to take our shanks during inspection.
16:15:26.000 I'm going to hide my prison shank.
16:15:32.000 I'm not going to shank them first.
16:15:33.000 I'm not shanking the guards.
16:15:35.000 It's the only way out, mate.
16:15:37.000 Have you tried screaming yet?
16:15:42.000 Yeah, my shank is disguised.
16:15:44.000 Have you tried screaming yet?
16:15:46.000 No.
16:15:47.000 Screw you.
16:15:52.000 Nice.
16:15:52.000 Screw you.
16:15:52.000 How can they do this to innocent people?
16:15:54.000 How can they do this to innocent people?
16:16:01.000 so well
16:16:25.000 so i also have a book called the life of the prophet muhammad
16:16:52.000 which i started but your friend faris al-hamidi recommended me a better book called the the nectar of life the something nectar and i thought oh no that's what it's like apparently it's much much better than this so i will read that one
16:17:19.000 um let's escape jail Thank you.
16:17:40.000 Bye-bye.
16:17:41.000 Bye-bye.
16:17:41.000 Thank you.
16:17:42.000 Thank you.
16:17:43.000 Let's escape.
16:17:44.000 I'm going to get you.
16:18:37.000 Let me read the plot of this book.
16:18:39.000 This book is actually pretty good.
16:18:40.000 Smerch, the Soviet counterintelligence agency, plans to commit a grand act of terrorism in the intelligence field.
16:18:48.000 For this, it targets British Secret Service agent James Bond.
16:18:52.000 Due in part to his role in the defeat of Le Chiffre, Mr. Big, and Hugo Drax, Bond has been listed as an enemy of the Soviet state and a death warrant has been issued for him.
16:19:02.000 His death is planned to precipitate a major sex scandal which will run through the world's press for months and leave his service's reputation in tatters.
16:19:09.000 Bond's killer is to be Smirch's chief executioner, Red Grant, a psychopath whose homicidal urges coincide with the full moon.
16:19:17.000 Kronstein, Smerch's chess-playing master planner and Colonel Rosa Klebb, head of operations and executions, devised the operation.
16:19:24.000 They persuade a young and attractive cypher clerk, Colonel Tatyana Romanova, to falsely defect from her post in Istanbul, claiming to have fallen in love with Bond after seeing his file in a photograph.
16:19:35.000 This is From Russia With Love.
16:19:38.000 Gee.
16:19:40.000 These books are so fucking good.
16:19:42.000 Light your beard on fire.
16:20:00.000 Thank you.
16:20:04.000 Andrew, eat a spoonful of coffee.
16:20:07.000 I feel like if you eat more spoonfuls of coffee, time will pass faster because the caffeine is...
16:20:19.000 Injection will fuel you.
16:20:25.000 or I'll shank you. Do it. I'm catching up to you. I'm too sweaty.
16:20:33.000 Okay. Okay.
16:20:53.000 Okay. Okay.
16:21:22.000 Okay.
16:21:36.000 Thank you.
16:21:37.000 Bye.
16:21:39.000 Yeah.
16:21:40.000 I didn't forget it.
16:21:41.000 I decided I wasn't going to pray on the stream.
16:21:43.000 No, I'll carry on.
16:21:45.000 I didn't know that.
16:21:46.000 I'll be back right afterwards.
16:21:49.000 I'll be back.
16:22:07.000 Where's my shank?
16:22:31.000 I'll be back.
16:22:42.000 It just becomes part of their hero story.
16:22:44.000 Do they not realize that?
16:22:48.000 They could have at least tempted us into committing a real crime.
16:22:54.000 Somehow.
16:22:55.000 But we wouldn't.
16:22:56.000 We're too moral.
16:22:58.000 We're incorruptible.
16:23:02.000 I don't do crimes.
16:23:04.000 I'm lighting my hand on fire.
16:23:11.000 I mean, I'm lighting my hand on fire in your home.
16:23:18.000 I bet you're a loser.
16:23:22.000 It's so hot.
16:23:23.000 Every time I do a set, I start sweating.
16:23:25.000 I'm barely going here.
16:23:27.000 The lessons did you learn in jail?
16:23:37.000 2 plus 2 is 5.
16:23:41.000 Not this jail, last time we went.
16:23:45.000 2 plus 2 is 6.
16:23:47.000 You did not learn 2 plus 2 is 6 in Romanian jail.
16:23:52.000 No, you'd ask most inmates, they'd probably give you that answer.
16:24:00.000 Biggest takeaway I took from jail is, and I knew this already, and you knew this already, Drugs are bad.
16:24:08.000 Half the people in there, drug use is why they're doing crime.
16:24:14.000 Romania is not even a country with a drug problem.
16:24:16.000 Imagine how bad it is in the fucking United States.
16:24:18.000 Smug.
16:24:26.000 I'm not even gonna try.
16:24:28.000 I'm not even gonna try.
16:24:30.000 Thank you.
16:24:33.000 It's not a word.
16:24:38.000 Stop sleeping.
16:24:42.000 Eat your coffee, loser.
16:24:45.000 Hey, loser.
16:24:47.000 I'm scared of coffee.
16:24:51.000 Admit you're scared of coffee.
16:24:53.000 I'm scared of girls.
16:24:57.000 Admit Doug Douglasson would beat you up.
16:25:01.000 I'm not making G of the Week.
16:25:02.000 I also brought a hat.
16:25:04.000 Why do I have a headache?
16:25:23.000 Is it the heat?
16:25:25.000 I don't know.
16:25:39.000 from does while arch he or hard and
16:26:07.000 all and your car and a slight Yeah.
16:26:12.000 Thank you.
16:26:14.000 No.
16:26:16.000 Admit it.
16:26:17.000 I refuse.
16:26:18.000 Tell the whole world.
16:26:20.000 I refuse to admit it.
16:26:26.000 Why?
16:26:28.000 Why?
16:26:40.000 It's not true.
16:26:46.000 I think it is.
16:26:47.000 I don't think your plastic cup noodle technique worked.
16:26:50.000 I don't think you are now a silicon-based... Cybernetic organism.
16:26:53.000 I'm a cybernetic organism.
16:26:56.000 Oh, cybernetic organism.
16:26:58.000 If you're a man enough to eat noodles from a cup, you'd understand.
16:27:00.000 It's a good organism.
16:27:05.000 You're a man. I have to eat You're a man. I have to eat You're a man. I have to eat noodles for a cup. You'd noodles for a cup. You'd noodles for a cup. You'd understand.
16:27:24.000 Why have I self-imposed this on us?
16:27:27.000 Whose idea was this?
16:27:29.000 Whose idea was jail?
16:27:35.000 I'm going to read some Bible and ignore you for the rest of my jail time.
16:27:59.000 Also, I think that we should do six days, not 24 hours.
16:28:04.000 You listening?
16:28:05.000 Okay.
16:28:08.000 Got my ashtray.
16:28:10.000 Bible.
16:28:12.000 cigarettes in relation to.
16:28:14.000 So, I'm going to show you how to do that.
16:30:12.000 Thou shall not revenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people.
16:30:18.000 Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
16:30:22.000 Leviticus 19, 18.
16:30:26.000 Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
16:32:47.000 I blame you.
16:32:54.000 I'm sorry.
16:34:39.000 I heard an interesting story once about heaven and hell.
16:34:47.000 A Korean man is a Christian his whole life, and he has a near-death experience where the Lord says to him, I'm going to show you what awaits for you in hell, and I'm going to show to you what awaits for you in heaven.
16:35:05.000 And they take him down to hell, and hell is a pleasant room with banquets of delicious food everywhere.
16:35:15.000 But everybody in hell is starving.
16:35:18.000 It turns out in hell you can eat with chopsticks.
16:35:22.000 The chopsticks are all six feet long.
16:35:25.000 If you touch the food with your hand it disappears.
16:35:28.000 You need to use the chopsticks to get the food to your mouth.
16:35:31.000 These people are tormented century after century through years of hunger and years of starvation.
16:35:39.000 And the Korean man looks around and says, yeah, hell is not the kind of place I want to be.
16:35:43.000 Maybe I should change my life.
16:35:45.000 Lord, can you show me what awaits for me in heaven?
16:35:49.000 And the Lord takes him to heaven, and it looks exactly the same as hell.
16:35:56.000 Big banquets of food, well-lit room, picturesque, beautiful, just like hell looked.
16:36:04.000 But all the people are extremely well fed.
16:36:08.000 A Korean man asks God, he says, well, are the rules here the same as in hell?
16:36:14.000 And God says, well, yes, of course.
16:36:17.000 The chopsticks are all six feet long.
16:36:19.000 And if you touch the food with your hands, it disappears immediately.
16:36:23.000 He then looked around and saw all of the people in heaven were feeding one another instead of trying to feed themselves.
16:36:35.000 I thought that was a very interesting story.
16:36:37.000 Because it talks not about what hell or what heaven are, but about the nature of people, and how life, even given the exact same circumstances, can be made an eternal torment or an eternal paradise, all depending on the nature of people that you have around you.
16:36:57.000 The only difference between heaven and hell, in this case, the only difference is that good people go to heaven, and with the right people, it's a paradise.
16:37:09.000 I heard that story years ago.
16:37:10.000 I think it's very profound.
16:37:14.000 I think you could take a lot away from it.
16:37:19.000 Are you asleep?
16:37:48.000 So to summarize my story, and the reason I'm thinking about it as I sit here reading Corinthians, is because jail wasn't that bad with you.
16:37:58.000 I know you were asleep.
16:38:00.000 But jail was actually fine.
16:38:02.000 Because me and you were in hell together.
16:38:08.000 That's why they can put me back and I won't give a shit.
16:38:12.000 Injustice happens every day.
16:38:14.000 And we have to deal with it.
16:41:11.000 the world. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that.
16:41:25.000 We're going to be able to do that.
16:41:25.000 We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that.
16:41:47.000 We're going to be able to do that.
16:41:47.000 We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that.
16:42:06.000 We're going to be able to do that.
16:42:09.000 We're going to be able to do that.
16:42:16.000 We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that.
16:42:37.000 We're going to be able to do that.
16:42:40.000 We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that.
16:43:09.000 We're going to be able to do that.
16:43:14.000 We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going
16:43:38.000 to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that.
16:43:45.000 We're going to be able to do that.
16:43:45.000 We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that.
16:44:05.000 We're going to be able to do that.
16:44:23.000 We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able to do that. We're going to be able you.
16:44:31.000 John chapter 4 verse 20.
16:44:49.000 If a man say I love God and hateth his brother, he is a liar.
16:45:02.000 For he that loves not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
16:45:10.000 He that loves not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
16:45:22.000 He that loves not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
16:45:32.000 He that loves not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
16:45:47.000 He that loves not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?
16:45:57.000 ...
16:56:47.000 Whoops.
16:56:57.000 Rest.
16:57:24.000 Last one.
16:57:48.000 Rest.
16:58:08.000 Rest.
16:58:27.000 Ah, tried to sleep.
16:58:28.000 With the jail noise.
16:58:32.000 How did that go, loser?
16:58:34.000 Well, how did your attempt at sleep go?
16:58:36.000 Hmm.
16:58:45.000 Animal House Animal House is a multi-purpose zoo, which is a place where you can see the animals and the animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:00.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:03.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:06.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:09.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:12.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:15.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:18.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:21.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:24.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:27.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:30.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:33.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:36.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:39.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:42.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:45.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:48.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:51.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:54.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
16:59:57.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:00.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:03.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:06.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:09.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:12.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:15.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:18.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:21.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:24.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:27.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:30.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:33.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:36.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:39.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:42.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:45.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:48.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:51.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:54.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:00:57.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:01:00.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:01:03.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:01:06.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:01:09.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:01:12.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:01:15.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:01:18.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:01:21.000 The animals are the ones who are most interested in the animals.
17:01:25.000 Oh, is that the answer to how gay are you out of 10?
17:01:30.000 Yeah.
17:01:32.000 700 out of 10.
17:01:32.000 out. Great. Now I'm tired.
17:01:41.000 You've lowered the energy in my cell.
17:01:43.000 I'm going to have to get you out of there.
17:02:35.000 So, we're going to start with the first one.
17:03:50.000 and if you have a question, please feel free to ask.
17:03:55.000 Thank you.
17:11:08.000 and the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:11:22.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:11:29.000 And the law. And the law.
17:11:29.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:11:43.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:11:50.000 And the law. And the law.
17:11:50.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:12:04.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:12:10.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:12:19.000 And the law. And the law.
17:12:20.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:12:28.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:12:35.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:12:43.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:12:50.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:12:57.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:13:04.000 And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law. And the law.
17:13:11.000 And the law.
17:13:39.000 uh so
17:14:03.000 uh
17:14:13.000 so Tristan Tate!
17:14:41.000 I protect from Matrix, I need two more cigarettes!
17:14:46.000 Come on, man!
17:14:47.000 I know you can hear me, Tristan!
17:14:49.000 You're in charge, give him cigarettes.
17:14:52.000 Mustafa, I need two more cigarettes!
17:14:56.000 I protect from Matrix and fake mafia!
17:15:00.000 Come on, man!
17:15:01.000 You have to do more than that. Come on.
17:15:04.000 Do it again. Do it again.
17:15:08.000 Repeat the matrix.
17:15:11.000 You heard the man.
17:15:12.000 Nah, fuck it.
17:15:13.000 So he's my friend, not yours.
17:15:19.000 Mustafa's gonna beat you up.
17:15:22.000 Correct.
17:15:22.000 nice give him some cigarettes you heard the man so he's my friend not yours so Mustafa's gonna beat you up all right nice you
17:15:41.000 you I need... Come on, man.
17:15:58.000 Two more cigarettes, man.
17:16:00.000 It's fine.
17:16:01.000 Why you not listen, Mustafa?
17:16:04.000 Why you not listen to us, stop or we take back there together.
17:16:11.000 I'm not listening to you.
17:16:44.000 I mean, no one in. You can give him cigarettes. If you don't give your mate cigarettes, he's going to beat you up. It's easier.
17:16:51.000 we're friends together, we destroy matrix, we destroy matrix, come on man!
17:16:58.000 I mean, no one ever, you can give him cigarettes.
17:17:02.000 If you don't give your mates cigarettes, they're gonna beat you up, and it's easier.
17:17:15.000 I'm not scared of him.
17:17:16.000 I'm going to say that I'll be after him.
17:17:17.000 I'm going to be waiting. I hate you.
17:18:17.000 Don't listen to me!
17:18:19.000 I need to wash cigarettes, man! Why?
17:18:22.000 You said Mustafa your friend, man! We did matrix together!
17:18:28.000 State mafia, come on!
17:18:29.000 I'm an expert at zoning out.
17:18:30.000 I learned.
17:18:33.000 800.
17:18:47.000 to do.
17:18:48.000 Two to go.
17:18:49.000 I'm going to go to the next one.
17:18:49.000 800.
17:18:51.000 Two to go.
17:18:53.000 I'm sorry, Mustafa. I'm sorry.
17:18:55.000 I'm sorry, Mustafa.
17:18:57.000 I'm sorry.
17:20:19.000 Come on!
17:20:20.000 I need cigarettes!
17:20:21.000 Just one more, man!
17:20:23.000 Come on!
17:20:24.000 Pay up, Andrew.
17:20:25.000 We beat everyone together!
17:20:27.000 Pay up!
17:20:28.000 Give him cigarettes.
17:20:32.000 You give him cigarettes.
17:20:33.000 No, he's asking you this time.
17:20:34.000 You give him cigarettes.
17:20:35.000 He wants to be your friend.
17:20:36.000 I don't want any friends.
17:20:44.000 have it anyway.
17:20:46.000 So, let's get started. So, I'm going to start with the first one. So, I'm going to start with the first one. So, I'm going to start with the first one. So, I'm going to start with the first one. So, I'm going to start with the first one. So, I'm going to start
17:21:07.000 with the first one. So, I'm going to start with the first one. So, I'm going to start Come on, man.
17:21:37.000 We are best friends, man.
17:21:39.000 We speak the language together.
17:21:40.000 Come on!
17:21:41.000 Nice.
17:21:42.000 The guards got me shut up.
17:21:43.000 Nice.
17:21:44.000 But you and him can beat the guards and take Mafia.
17:21:45.000 Right?
17:21:46.000 No.
17:21:47.000 I'm going to go for it.
17:23:05.000 Fucking one cigarette, come on!
17:23:08.000 We need to beat the Matrix together!
17:23:11.000 This is so realistic.
17:23:20.000 Especially cause I'm tired, I didn't sleep, I'm trying to lay down, people are screaming at me.
17:23:24.000 Super realistic.
17:23:29.000 We need to reenact this with people.
17:23:31.000 People think you just relax in jail, but you can't.
17:23:33.000 You can't relax, this is so realistic.
17:23:36.000 Loud, bright, and bad shit.
17:23:40.000 Noise all the time.
17:23:42.000 Stress all the time.
17:23:43.000 I don't know where they found this ambient noise, but this is so good.
17:23:48.000 You can't rest at all.
17:24:06.000 It's Animal House.
17:24:09.000 Sleep or rest?
17:24:11.000 Sleep and smoke.
17:24:12.000 Be a man.
17:24:13.000 Alright.
17:24:13.000 Give me a letter.
17:24:18.000 Yeah, it's Animal House.
17:24:19.000 It's what we call Jail Animal House.
17:24:21.000 Might just have a little cig-a-rest.
17:24:25.000 Smart. Super smart. Yeah, Jail's animal house.
17:24:41.000 It's literally an animal house.
17:24:43.000 There's no sleep.
17:24:44.000 Sometimes, the afternoon between 2 and 5, you get a bit of sleep.
17:24:50.000 Late at night, between 4am and 6pm, then wake you up.
17:24:54.000 Maybe.
17:25:22.000 You don't really sleep, you just kinda close your eyes and pass the night.
17:25:25.000 You don't have the moral...
17:25:30.000 ...peace for sleep.
17:25:33.000 The mental peace for sleep, you know?
17:25:37.000 Too much drama.
17:25:39.000 Too many questions, too much bullshit.
17:25:41.000 It awakened me and all my feelings of injustice and rage, so they're back.
17:25:46.000 Remember that this is still going on.
17:25:48.000 I'm going to be doing a lot of work on this.
17:27:07.000 I'm too focused.
17:27:09.000 I guess I was just mad.
17:27:11.000 Hard now.
17:27:22.000 It was a good cigarette rest.
17:27:29.000 What books are these?
17:27:33.000 Anyone know the number I'm on?
17:27:47.000 One!
17:27:49.000 Why?
17:27:52.000 One!
17:27:52.000 One.
17:27:52.000 You're on one.
17:27:53.000 I wonder if anybody knows how many I'm on.
17:27:56.000 It's right 830 840
17:28:05.000 Oh
17:28:35.000 Nice I'm going to get you!
17:29:05.000 Oh, yes.
17:29:06.000 We had a lot of girls screaming their love to us from outside the jail.
17:29:08.000 Especially me, I think you mainly had men.
17:29:12.000 Shut up.
17:29:12.000 Neil was screaming from outside that Spectrum.
17:29:17.000 Isn't it funny that we had to go all the way back to jail to find out they got another Neil DeGrasse Tyson?
17:29:20.000 Isn't it interesting?
17:29:25.000 They're blackmailing him.
17:29:26.000 He's a filthy pervert, and they blackmail him.
17:29:30.000 You think?
17:29:31.000 100%.
17:29:32.000 It doesn't even mean to be that bad.
17:29:34.000 Cheating on your wife.
17:29:36.000 Why has everyone sold their soul or everyone has some big dirty secret they're scared of?
17:29:40.000 We're the only people who are just like... Tristan once said that he used to sleep with lots of women.
17:29:46.000 That's how I met the mothers of my kids.
17:29:48.000 Fuck off.
17:29:49.000 I was in my 20s.
17:29:49.000 I was a millionaire.
17:29:50.000 Fuck off.
17:29:51.000 That's the worst secret you've found about me.
17:29:53.000 Newsflash!
17:29:55.000 20 year old high testosterone muscular handsome millionaire has sex with women.
17:29:59.000 Oh my god!
17:30:00.000 Fuck off.
17:30:01.000 Get fucked.
17:30:02.000 I've got no fucking skeletons in my closet.
17:30:04.000 Fucking nerds.
17:30:06.000 Oh, super nerds.
17:30:08.000 Super nerds.
17:30:10.000 I'm super nerdy.
17:30:39.000 875.
17:31:07.000 When you start the push-ups in jail, you think, I'm never going to get to the end.
17:31:11.000 You get to like 138 or 192 or something.
17:31:14.000 You're like, this is going to go on forever.
17:31:20.000 Not even halfway.
17:31:21.000 There's nothing else to do.
17:31:24.000 But if you persevere.
17:31:25.000 There's nothing else to do.
17:31:26.000 And you don't give in.
17:31:28.000 You believe in yourself.
17:31:31.000 Like the little engine that could.
17:31:33.000 You keep doing them.
17:31:34.000 You don't be a coward.
17:31:35.000 You don't be a bitch.
17:31:37.000 Eventually you get to 875.
17:31:39.000 And then you're only 125 from finishing.
17:31:43.000 Then you did a thousand.
17:31:45.000 Which is the magic number.
17:31:48.000 A thousand push-ups in a day keeps the homosexuals away.
17:31:52.000 True.
17:31:54.000 And that is why they must be done.
17:31:56.000 So I'm gonna take a little stroll.
17:32:03.000 A nice relaxing walk.
17:32:06.000 And then I'm gonna do some more push-ups.
17:32:11.000 Nice walk.
17:32:13.000 Where am I walking?
17:32:14.000 Am I walking between my penthouses in Dubai?
17:32:16.000 Am I walking to my Bugatti?
17:32:19.000 Am I walking along the yacht?
17:32:22.000 Where am I walking?
17:32:23.000 Now I'm walking in jail.
17:32:25.000 Nice.
17:32:25.000 In a circle.
17:32:27.000 Nice.
17:32:28.000 The endless circle.
17:32:30.000 But you know what?
17:32:31.000 The circle never lets you down, Tristan.
17:32:33.000 It's always there for you when you need it.
17:32:34.000 True.
17:32:35.000 When you need a stroll, the circle's always there.
17:32:37.000 I've had many nice strolls around the circle.
17:32:40.000 Oh, I've spent hours walking the circle.
17:32:42.000 Woo!
17:32:43.000 Where do I imagine I was walking?
17:32:44.000 Deep thoughts in the circle.
17:32:45.000 I imagine I was walking in the Transylvanian mountains of the Swiss Alps.
17:32:49.000 I would actually argue that I had my most introspective conversations with myself walking this circle than any other walk I've had in my life.
17:33:00.000 It's an important circle.
17:33:02.000 Yeah, it is.
17:33:03.000 It's the circle of life.
17:33:06.000 Exactly.
17:33:08.000 And, I mean, if you can't listen to Elton John for inspiration, who can you listen to?
17:33:12.000 He's definitely not Matrix Homer.
17:33:16.000 You know?
17:33:17.000 True.
17:33:19.000 Anyway, the pursuit of happiness.
17:33:20.000 Why do you care?
17:33:23.000 Shut up.
17:33:25.000 So 125 divided by 5 is 25.
17:33:34.000 So what I'm going to do is I'm going to do twenty-five, which will be tiring.
17:33:39.000 I'm going to stand up and walk two laps.
17:33:43.000 Then try and bust out like ten more.
17:33:46.000 To get the free ones in, you know?
17:33:48.000 People don't understand, you're doing this many numbers, you've got to sneak in the free ones.
17:33:54.000 They add up over time.
17:33:55.000 So you've got to pre-decide when the free ones come, otherwise you get too tired.
17:34:00.000 So we're going to do twenty-five push-ups.
17:34:02.000 Two laps of the track, free push-ups.
17:34:07.000 Get the free ones in.
17:34:08.000 Write down a number, have a cigarette, then do it again.
17:34:13.000 That's the plan. Let's go.
17:34:17.000 Oh, yeah.
17:34:37.000 Bye.
17:34:40.000 28.
17:34:41.000 I'm going to do a walk.
17:34:46.000 For a walk in jail.
17:34:50.000 For a walk.
17:34:54.000 Jail walk.
17:35:01.000 Doing a bit of jail.
17:35:04.000 Sometimes do nothing wrong, end up in jail.
17:35:07.000 How it goes.
17:35:08.000 Go Jacob, that's life.
17:35:09.000 Do not pass, go.
17:35:11.000 Bang.
17:35:12.000 Where are your pushups?
17:35:12.000 28, 29, 30, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 39, 40.
17:35:14.000 Five more.
17:35:16.000 One, two, three, four, one more.
17:35:18.000 Five!
17:35:18.000 45 more.
17:35:19.000 1, 2, 3, 4, 1 more.
17:35:20.000 5!
17:35:21.000 45 total, which brings me up to 920 from 875.
17:35:22.000 So, I'm going to go ahead and do a little bit of a warm up.
17:35:23.000 I'm going to do a little bit of a warm up.
17:35:43.000 Tristan, there's a lesson here for the people at home.
17:35:48.000 Even in the most dire circumstances, if you can give yourself a near-impossible task, a Herculean feat, which instills you with anxiety and dread, once you complete it, you can feel happy.
17:36:00.000 I'm about to do a thousand push-ups, and I'm gonna be happy, even though I'm in jail.
17:36:03.000 Because I'm happy, because I did it.
17:36:06.000 We were happy, Joe Orman.
17:36:08.000 All you have to do, when you're unhappy, is give yourself some... You get happy again.
17:36:15.000 Plus, you get the benefits of doing said difficult thing.
17:36:17.000 Like, I get to be built like Hercules.
17:36:20.000 It's great!
17:36:21.000 There's no downside.
17:36:23.000 Now I have a nice fucking healthy cigarette.
17:36:26.000 That's the lesson.
17:36:28.000 The lesson is...
17:36:37.000 There's no such thing as sad or depressed or bored, because you always have push-ups to do.
17:36:42.000 And if you finish them, you'll be happy again.
17:36:46.000 And if you get sad, you can always do them again.
17:36:48.000 And if you feel sad, you can just do a thousand more.
17:36:51.000 Push-ups are unlimited.
17:36:53.000 Although, I've almost done all of the push-ups today.
17:36:55.000 If I do all the push-ups, there's no push-ups left for anyone else to do.
17:36:57.000 I'm going to do them all.
17:36:59.000 Anyone in the world.
17:37:00.000 Everyone in the world.
17:37:01.000 I'm going to do all the push-ups, so that no one else in the world can do push-ups.
17:37:06.000 There's only a certain number of push-ups that exist in the universe.
17:37:08.000 How many push-ups exist in the universe?
17:37:14.000 I'm going to do all.
17:37:25.000 Relax.
17:37:25.000 Cigarette?
17:37:26.000 80 more.
17:37:26.000 80 more!
17:37:28.000 I have fucking 720 to do.
17:37:32.000 Only an hour or something to go.
17:37:33.000 I remember the stress in my mind.
17:37:34.000 I think I'll never get through these fucking push-ups.
17:37:39.000 Hard work, perseverance.
17:37:42.000 That's all it takes to be successful in life, my friend.
17:37:45.000 You know what?
17:37:45.000 If we work really hard, maybe we'll have hundreds of millions of dollars.
17:37:49.000 Anyone say anything to that?
17:37:50.000 Nah, it's impossible.
17:37:51.000 You think?
17:37:51.000 Yeah.
17:37:54.000 What, me and you, being broke, working hard every day, hundreds of millions of dollars?
17:37:59.000 Nah, it's not possible.
17:38:02.000 You might go to jail though.
17:38:03.000 Oh yeah, we definitely could go to jail.
17:38:07.000 Let's go round again!
17:38:13.000 Right.
17:38:13.000 80 to do.
17:38:14.000 So I want to do 40 in 40.
17:38:17.000 Nice simple system.
17:38:19.000 As many as I can.
17:38:21.000 Two walks around the jail.
17:38:23.000 Jail walk.
17:38:25.000 Getting the free ones.
17:38:27.000 Hopefully that gets me to 40.
17:38:28.000 Then I just have one more set of push-ups.
17:38:32.000 I am done.
17:38:34.000 One thousand.
17:38:37.000 Do a little bit more cigarette.
17:38:39.000 Then we're gonna have some noodles in a cup.
17:38:45.000 Bowl.
17:38:46.000 Noodles do not belong in bowls.
17:38:49.000 Noodles in a fucking cup, I said.
17:38:54.000 Don't push me.
17:38:57.000 You don't actually care how anyone eats noodles, Ender.
17:39:00.000 I feel like you've made up an issue.
17:39:02.000 Say that again.
17:39:04.000 You don't.
17:39:04.000 You've made this up.
17:39:07.000 I've never seen you care.
17:39:09.000 Ever before.
17:39:10.000 In fact, I'll go as far to say that during our 92 days in jail, you ate noodles exclusively out of bowls.
17:39:17.000 No, I had it a couple of times.
17:39:20.000 Nah.
17:39:22.000 You were bold, man.
17:39:30.000 Righty-ho then!
17:39:31.000 Let's just cigarette at the showroom.
17:39:38.000 I might save this cigarette for my jail walk.
17:39:43.000 Let's save it.
17:39:46.000 Whistling
17:40:17.000 Sorry Bye!
17:40:28.000 Noodles belong in a cup.
17:40:30.000 Tristan needs to admit that noodles belong in a cup.
17:40:35.000 Tristan needs to admit that noodles belong in a cup.
17:40:39.000 Tristan needs to admit it.
17:40:41.000 Till he does, we'll stay in jam.
17:40:43.000 Till he does, we'll stay in jail.
17:40:46.000 He needs to learn the lyrics to the Reagan TV commercials.
17:40:50.000 Why don't you join me on my walk?
17:40:54.000 Nah, I'm tired.
17:40:55.000 Come with me, it's fun.
17:40:56.000 I'm finishing my rest, single rest.
17:41:01.000 Trust me, come and join me on my walk.
17:41:04.000 I'm finishing, why sit and rest?
17:41:06.000 How many pushups did I do? I think I did 28.
17:41:11.000 12 more.
17:41:13.000 12 more.
17:41:21.000 Right.
17:41:23.000 13 just in case that was a little too much.
17:41:39.000 Couldn't remember.
17:41:44.000 960!
17:41:44.000 Push-ups are the key to joy.
17:41:50.000 Happiness lies on the other side of push-ups.
17:41:53.000 Happiness lies on the other side of push-ups.
17:41:55.000 There's no such thing as being depressed or unhappy with yourself once you've done 1,000 push-ups.
17:41:59.000 You feel too much pride, pride.
17:42:01.000 So if you're depressed or unhappy or sad, that's all you have to do and your entire life's instantly fixed.
17:42:07.000 Some life advice.
17:42:08.000 Anytime someone comes to me and says they're depressed, it's how many push-ups have you done today?
17:42:12.000 If the answer's less than 1,000, And we all know they deserve their own misery.
17:42:19.000 Little fucking cowards.
17:42:20.000 So I'm going to finish this cigarette and then we're going to do 40 at once.
17:42:23.000 The last 40.
17:42:24.000 Get them all done.
17:42:29.000 Happiness lies on the other side of push-ups.
17:42:32.000 Fact.
17:42:32.000 Proved it.
17:42:33.000 Scientifically.
17:42:33.000 It's a spectrum.
17:42:35.000 It's a happiness spectrum.
17:42:36.000 The more push-ups you do, the closer you get to bliss.
17:42:39.000 40 left.
17:42:50.000 Top G. Top G. Top G. Top G. Top G. When you were resting, I sat and quietly read my Bible.
17:42:59.000 Yeah, like an old pussy!
17:43:00.000 Should've woke me up when you had the fucking chance, shouldn't ya?
17:43:03.000 Well, I should've.
17:43:04.000 I can't wait for you to rest again.
17:43:05.000 Go on.
17:43:06.000 Admit it.
17:43:07.000 Admit that when you had the chance, you were a coward.
17:43:09.000 When you rest again.
17:43:09.000 And now war befalls your nation.
17:43:12.000 Fine.
17:43:12.000 You don't get to choose when battles come, friend.
17:43:14.000 by me. 40 pushups. I'm done. 40 pushups. This isn't many, but after you've done 960, it's
17:43:32.000 actually quite hard. 40 more.
17:43:51.000 25. 15 more.
17:44:06.000 15 more.
17:44:08.000 Let's do 5.
17:44:09.000 5.
17:44:09.000 10 more.
17:44:12.000 10 is easy.
17:44:14.000 Last 10 don't count.
17:44:16.000 10 is easy.
17:44:17.000 1.
17:44:17.000 2.
17:44:18.000 3.
17:44:18.000 4.
17:44:18.000 6 more.
17:44:18.000 10 is easy. 1, 2, 3, 4, 6 more.
17:44:27.000 Tristan's a loser. Noodles belong in a cup.
17:44:36.000 What?
17:44:38.000 One.
17:44:38.000 Five more.
17:44:39.000 Noodles in a cup.
17:44:40.000 Come on.
17:44:41.000 NOODLES IN A CUP!
17:44:43.000 One.
17:44:44.000 Two.
17:44:46.000 Three.
17:44:48.000 Four.
17:44:50.000 Last one.
17:44:52.000 Noodles in a cup.
17:44:56.000 NOODLES IN A FUCKING CUP!
17:44:58.000 NOODLES IN A CUP AND THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN FUCKING DO ABOUT IT FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
17:45:02.000 Cunt.
17:45:03.000 Pussy.
17:45:04.000 Fuck you!
17:45:06.000 Can't wait to be witch until we fuck out and you finally finish you off for good.
17:45:11.000 Piece of shit.
17:45:12.000 and push-ups. One...
17:45:27.000 The satisfaction I get from writing that number 1,000 is equal to the satisfaction That most people never get in their shitty lives, because they never fucking dedicate themselves to anything, or work hard at anything.
17:45:42.000 So all they do is go out drinking, trying to get a bit of stinky puss from Mary's slag face, and they pull that off and they feel some Mary Jane Rottencrotch.
17:45:53.000 Mary Jane Rottencrotch.
17:45:54.000 They feel some remblance of self-importance because some woman was stupid enough to allow them, with low standards, to attempt to give her dick, And I say a ten because they don't know how to give dick.
17:46:06.000 But I wrote the number 1,000 on a piece of paper and made me happier than they'll ever be because I dedicated myself.
17:46:12.000 And noodles belong in a cup forever.
17:46:17.000 And the more plastic I ingest, the closer I become to finally being Terminator, Top G, cybernetic organism from the melted plastic cups.
17:46:27.000 And the fumes and the plasticy noodles make me stronger than ever before.
17:46:33.000 Do you understand?
17:46:34.000 sand. Quick relax.
17:46:41.000 I'm going to be doing a lot of work on the next video. So, stay tuned. I'll see you there.
17:46:48.000 So, let's get started.
17:46:55.000 So, let's get started.
17:47:23.000 Now I can read the mail.
17:47:24.000 It's good.
17:47:27.000 Then you can read the mail.
17:47:35.000 the floor. Thank you. Oh, hey,
17:48:03.000 I'm going to do it again.
17:48:31.000 That's you.
17:48:33.000 No.
17:48:35.000 Admit it!
17:48:36.000 Of all the things in my life that have ever upset me, this upsets me 0%.
17:48:40.000 You're not deeply upset right now?
17:48:42.000 No.
17:48:43.000 Are you lying?
17:48:44.000 To yourself?
17:48:44.000 No, not at all.
17:48:45.000 Are you lying to me?
17:48:47.000 No.
17:48:49.000 I'm now Tristan.
17:48:51.000 Don't do a stupid voice.
17:48:53.000 Who want my noodles in a bowl please?
17:48:55.000 You want your noodles in a bowl don't you?
17:49:04.000 You'll never learn.
17:49:06.000 Malcolm, just wanted to donate to Tate Pledge.
17:49:08.000 Thank you very much.
17:49:09.000 $20.
17:49:10.000 I love you, Andrew.
17:49:11.000 Thank you, friend.
17:49:11.000 From Mark.
17:49:13.000 One hot crock.
17:49:14.000 Love the work.
17:49:15.000 Hope you guys are eating well.
17:49:16.000 Use this $5 for charity.
17:49:17.000 It's $10, so we will.
17:49:19.000 All goes to Tate Pledge.
17:49:20.000 Everything goes to Super Chat.
17:49:25.000 My friend Cory and I grew up together.
17:49:27.000 The past year, he's watched me start a business and leave my job.
17:49:31.000 He refuses to commit and lacks discipline.
17:49:33.000 He needs to take branded words of encouragement.
17:49:35.000 No, he doesn't.
17:49:36.000 For there to be winners, there must be losers.
17:49:38.000 Let Corey stay a loser so you can enjoy being a winner.
17:49:41.000 There's no light without dark.
17:49:43.000 If everyone was hardworking and motivated, it would be difficult.
17:49:46.000 And I'll tell you right now that I've made hundreds of millions of dollars and conquered the entire earth, became the most famous man on the planet.
17:49:50.000 And I probably only really gave it maybe 85% effort.
17:49:56.000 There were times I slept.
17:49:58.000 I shouldn't have slept ever.
17:50:00.000 I should have been awake this whole time.
17:50:01.000 But I slept.
17:50:02.000 And I still managed to do it.
17:50:03.000 Because all of you are fucking lazy idiots.
17:50:06.000 People like Corey are very essential to the world.
17:50:09.000 Someone has to wash the cars.
17:50:11.000 Flip the burgers.
17:50:13.000 Thanks, Corey.
17:50:14.000 I'll have a Big Mac and fries.
17:50:15.000 Get fucked.
17:50:17.000 Hi, brothers.
17:50:17.000 I'm Hasan, 16-year-old student of the real world.
17:50:21.000 Hope to meet you one day.
17:50:23.000 Yes, my life goal is to join the war room when I'm 18.
17:50:27.000 Correct.
17:50:27.000 You have the correct life goal, you're in the right place, make some money, and we will meet once you're inside the war room.
17:50:32.000 Assalamu alaikum!
17:50:34.000 Thank you for both reaffirming and installing this tenacity in me to lead an extraordinary life instead of a life of mediocre one.
17:50:40.000 Hopefully someday we can share a cigar and laugh.
17:50:42.000 Indifferent.
17:50:43.000 Certainly can.
17:50:44.000 Wait to see you inside the war room.
17:50:46.000 That is how we meet people.
17:50:47.000 We only meet people who have been vetted by the war room.
17:50:50.000 Yeah, because even people look at our friends now and they were like, oh wow, how did you become such friends with the He joined the war.
17:50:58.000 I met him in Vegas.
17:50:59.000 Yeah, war rooms is where we find our friends.
17:51:01.000 I wouldn't have met him otherwise.
17:51:03.000 How would I have found him?
17:51:03.000 Alex the Batman is bettering himself every day, mind, body, and spirit.
17:51:08.000 Promise that you tell us thank you.
17:51:10.000 Good.
17:51:11.000 That is our reward for telling you all to do it.
17:51:14.000 I love seeing people making the world a better place and seeing people live lives worth living.
17:51:18.000 I love the bond you guys have.
17:51:22.000 Always have each other's back.
17:51:23.000 I feel honored to donate.
17:51:24.000 Thank you very much.
17:51:27.000 Friend.
17:51:28.000 That's Oliwia mindset.
17:51:29.000 Oliwia.
17:51:30.000 O-L-I-W-I-A.
17:51:32.000 Sounds Polish, no?
17:51:33.000 W is V in Polish.
17:51:34.000 Yeah, it's Olivia.
17:51:35.000 Olivia.
17:51:38.000 Olivia.
17:51:39.000 Oh, sorry.
17:51:39.000 Let me say it again.
17:51:40.000 This is a chick.
17:51:41.000 Thank you very much, my dear.
17:51:43.000 Hopefully, one day we'll meet.
17:51:44.000 If you have long blonde hair, pretty green eyes.
17:51:46.000 Salamu alaykum, taits.
17:51:50.000 May Allah protect you.
17:51:52.000 Two questions to ask.
17:51:53.000 What will be the effect of AI on humanity in the future?
17:51:55.000 What's your opinion on NoFap?
17:51:57.000 Well, I don't normally answer these such asinine questions, but considering I'm in jail, I'm gonna answer them.
17:52:03.000 Question one, what will be the effect of AI on humanity?
17:52:05.000 It's gonna make me ridiculously rich.
17:52:06.000 It's gonna make all the rich people richer than ever before, and it's gonna make all the poor people poorer than ever before.
17:52:11.000 Because we have a very, very easy-to-use slave workforce that's all machine-based that can replace an army of loser dorks.
17:52:19.000 Most of you are such unremarkable loser dorks you can be replaced by a machine, and that's what's gonna happen.
17:52:24.000 AI, like every other technological advancement since the dawn of human time, is going to do the same thing they all did.
17:52:28.000 It's going to make the rich richer and the poor poorer.
17:52:29.000 It's going to do nothing but accelerate the wealth divide.
17:52:31.000 So if you don't get on the right side of history now, you are fucked forever.
17:52:34.000 Two years ago, this poster would take a graphic designer an hour and a half, two hours to make.
17:52:41.000 Now you type, use the top G logo, write this website and put tally marks onto a poster and design a poster for me into a brrrr done.
17:52:50.000 AI.
17:52:50.000 We already teach artificial intelligence inside of the real world.
17:52:53.000 Which is only $49.
17:52:54.000 So you can learn how to use AI to become rich yourself for $49.
17:52:58.000 And if you don't bother to do that, guess what?
17:53:00.000 You deserve to stay poor forever.
17:53:01.000 And that's what's going to happen to you.
17:53:02.000 AI is going to accelerate the wealth divide.
17:53:04.000 What's your opinion on NoFap?
17:53:05.000 That's a stupid question.
17:53:06.000 I hate those.
17:53:07.000 I fucking hate that question.
17:53:08.000 I hate that question.
17:53:09.000 It's so dumb.
17:53:12.000 You should have so many girlfriends.
17:53:13.000 You have no time for that shit anyway.
17:53:14.000 And also the strength of mind.
17:53:16.000 I'll actually say this now we're recreating jail.
17:53:18.000 Didn't even cross my mind once in jail.
17:53:22.000 92 days, no access to any woman in the world.
17:53:24.000 Didn't even cross my mind!
17:53:27.000 Because... Salamte and hate you since August.
17:53:29.000 Disgusting.
17:53:31.000 How do I delete dirt out of my mind to stay ultra-focused and win?
17:53:38.000 Manic silver.
17:53:38.000 I feel like that's more of a how do I eliminate distractions, etc.
17:53:43.000 The short answer is you don't.
17:53:45.000 You can't wipe your mind of everything unnecessary so your mind only wants to focus on what's Stay a loser if you can't dedicate yourself to anything.
17:53:54.000 I don't care.
17:53:54.000 I'm glad there are losers out there.
17:53:55.000 I'm glad you exist.
17:53:56.000 You're always going to need to exist so I can stay a winner.
17:53:58.000 Yeah, distractions, temptations is always going to be there.
17:54:01.000 And that's what sets you aside from those who make it.
17:54:04.000 Stay a loser if you can't dedicate yourself to anything.
17:54:07.000 I don't care.
17:54:08.000 I'm glad there are losers out there.
17:54:10.000 I'm glad you exist.
17:54:12.000 You're always going to need to exist so I can stay a winner.
17:54:14.000 If you're a loser and you can't get out of bed and decide to not be a loser and dedicate yourself hard enough.
17:54:18.000 You just want me to do a thousand push-ups.
17:54:20.000 If you can't dedicate yourself to anything, then stay a fucking loser, that's my move.
17:54:27.000 Keep fighting every day, everyone.
17:54:29.000 I'm eating KFC in honor of you two.
17:54:31.000 Nice.
17:54:33.000 The World Economic Forum told us we'll own nothing and be happy.
17:54:36.000 None of us from the WEF or DECAW.
17:54:37.000 Mehi Alex, I hope you like the handmade good gift wood piece with Andrew Tristan, chess horses, and hands on top.
17:54:49.000 I just wanted to meet you guys, a guy from Brasov.
17:54:52.000 Yes, we super appreciate the gift, but we don't meet anybody who's not in the War Room.
17:54:55.000 If you want to meet us, you want to sit and have coffee with us, you want to sit and talk to us, you have to be in the War Room first.
17:55:00.000 That is how it operates.
17:55:02.000 But you cannot join the War Room and just come to my house, because there's nobody in the world... I know that we have a message that resonates with a lot of young men, and you feel like you know us, because we're helping shape your personality.
17:55:12.000 There's no celebrity in the world you can go to their house and be allowed access to.
17:55:17.000 Even like Cristiano Ronaldo is a soccer player.
17:55:19.000 You can't just go to his house because you like him and ring his doorbell and expect him to come out and shake your hand.
17:55:23.000 It's just not the way that the world operates.
17:55:26.000 Join the War Room.
17:55:27.000 Follow the white path.
17:55:28.000 We will end up meeting.
17:55:31.000 War Room can be accessed at Covertape.com.
17:55:36.000 If you don't understand what the war is or don't believe you need it, then don't join.
17:55:38.000 Because anyone with a free mind or the capability to have a free mind understands what it is and understands how powerful it can be.
17:55:43.000 If you can't afford it, join the real world, make money, and then join.
17:55:45.000 Very simple.
17:55:55.000 I'm 26 years old and just joined to fight, Jim.
17:55:57.000 Thanks to you and Tristan.
17:55:58.000 What should I focus on to guarantee success when I step in the ring?
17:56:00.000 There is no guarantee of success, which is why it's so brave.
17:56:02.000 If you're guaranteed to win, then it wouldn't take any bravery, would it?
17:56:05.000 The reason it's respected so much, and the reason people have so much respect for fighters is because they understand they're putting their ego and their lives on the line, and it could go wrong.
17:56:11.000 One punch could end it.
17:56:13.000 That's the exact point of it.
17:56:14.000 There are no guarantees in life.
17:56:15.000 Only thing you can guarantee is that you do your absolute best, you don't dedicate yourself to anything, you'll never be anything, and all you can do is try your absolute hardest.
17:56:24.000 And I guarantee if you try your hardest and train very hard, you'll be a difficult man to beat.
17:56:28.000 That's all I can guarantee.
17:56:30.000 I'm going to go and get my phone.
17:56:34.000 Take it. Sad to see you back in jail.
17:56:36.000 From Cami Cristo.
17:56:37.000 Happy to know your iron minds can handle it.
17:56:39.000 Made my first e-comm sale today, doubled my Spotify numbers.
17:56:42.000 God bless to Tate's.
17:56:43.000 To your innocence, Alhamdulillah.
17:56:45.000 Thank you.
17:56:47.000 Hello, Andrew.
17:56:47.000 My name is Martin, 17 years old, from Prague.
17:56:50.000 Thank you for the amount of positive force you've left on this world.
17:56:52.000 Inspires me to take action and become a better person.
17:56:56.000 Very welcome, friend.
17:56:57.000 Alan knows the truth, keep going.
17:56:59.000 From Mohamed Maze.
17:57:04.000 I feel bad for not sending either of you a letter now when you were actually inside.
17:57:06.000 I can't imagine how difficult it must have been.
17:57:09.000 Much love from Erotrea.
17:57:11.000 A-O-T-E-A-R-O-A.
17:57:13.000 Erotrea.
17:57:15.000 Erotrea.
17:57:16.000 Stay strong.
17:57:18.000 Thank you.
17:57:18.000 Don't know how to say your name.
17:57:21.000 Big Nate Deasy.
17:57:22.000 We'll call you that.
17:57:22.000 Thank you.
17:57:27.000 Dear Andrew and Tristan Tate, my name's Andre, and I'd like to thank you for messing up my sleep schedule.
17:57:30.000 Now I can't sleep unless I have an extraordinarily productive day.
17:57:33.000 Good.
17:57:34.000 If you have a lazy day, you shouldn't be able to sleep.
17:57:36.000 You should feel guilty inside.
17:57:37.000 You should get up and get some work done.
17:57:39.000 That's exactly how you're supposed to be wired.
17:57:40.000 Supposed to be wired as a person who has to earn his happiness.
17:57:43.000 Who has to go out there and do something difficult so he feels happy.
17:57:46.000 I was not happy until I completed my task and now I am happy.
17:57:49.000 I'm ecstatic.
17:57:49.000 It doesn't matter if I'm in jail.
17:57:50.000 I'm happy.
17:57:51.000 That's what I was doing in jail.
17:57:53.000 Give yourself difficult things to do and make sure they get done and do not ever make excuses or skip them.
17:57:58.000 Happiness can be earned.
17:57:59.000 You need to inflict it on yourself because no one else cares enough to inflict it upon you.
17:58:03.000 They have other things to do, like try and stop being a loser themselves.
17:58:09.000 Thank you guys for changing my life.
17:58:12.000 Colin This guy sent 12 super chats in a row Bye.
17:58:25.000 Message from Maxwood.
17:58:27.000 Andrew and Tristan Tate, my love and respect for you has propelled me into a long-awaited mission of becoming a real man.
17:58:31.000 I found you days before you took over shit talk.
17:58:33.000 When I was 17, skinny as fuck and lost.
17:58:35.000 I dropped out of school at 13, fed up of the aimless school system, locked me in isolation for asking questions.
17:58:40.000 I left knowing that I could educate myself further than school ever could.
17:58:43.000 Already having videography, editing, and music skills under my belt.
17:58:46.000 Also teaching older years to edit because the teachers were clueless.
17:58:51.000 I left and networked with artists in London at 14 until I was 16 and had become a complacent stoner, drifting like a feather in the wind.
17:58:56.000 I had burnt out, no discipline, no ambition, no hope.
17:58:58.000 Then the top G Intellisman tapes spawned like a message from above.
17:59:00.000 At this point, I was merely flesh and bone.
17:59:02.000 Weak, stoned, and aimless.
17:59:03.000 With my last token of hope, I joined my like-minded brothers in Hustlers University 2.0.
17:59:08.000 In the space of three months, I had quit my five-year streak of smoking weed.
17:59:11.000 I think that's the end.
17:59:16.000 Four?
17:59:16.000 No?
17:59:19.000 Ah, don't worry about it.
17:59:20.000 It turned his life around, and his life's good.
17:59:22.000 It turned your life around, and Hustlers University helped you do that, and now you're making money.
17:59:24.000 Fantastic, that's exactly what we like to hear.
17:59:26.000 The reason we end up suffering and the Matrix attacks us is because we teach things that actually work.
17:59:30.000 If we were teaching kids how to invest in crypto-zoo, or drink sugary drinks, or be a degenerate clown, we wouldn't be attacked by the Matrix.
17:59:38.000 If we were sellouts like everyone else.
17:59:39.000 But the fact that we actually teach you to have mental resilience and make enough money for yourself so you can resist the slave programming and the slave imperatives, that's why they attack us.
17:59:47.000 This is only worth it, If it actually changes lives.
17:59:49.000 All of this shit we're going through is only worth it if some of you actually improve your lives, which is why we If you truly are a fan of ours, what we want you to do is become as rich and strong and successful as possible What's this one Thank you.
18:00:10.000 What is the ideal way to deal with a person that's in full slave mind?
18:00:16.000 Don't deal with them.
18:00:17.000 Deal with other people.
18:00:18.000 Deal with better people.
18:00:23.000 Some minds are not ready to be freed, my friend.
18:00:25.000 You need to find other free minds and focus on an upwards trajectory of propelling yourself to the absolute top.
18:00:30.000 The highest echelons in life.
18:00:31.000 You do not have time to try and drag people up who do not want to be taken from their slavery.
18:00:35.000 So, join the War Room, get some new friends.
18:00:36.000 That's what you do.
18:00:38.000 That's the mail.
18:00:39.000 Alright, is the floor mine?
18:00:43.000 Yeah.
18:00:45.000 Let's go.
18:00:54.000 for theater and
18:01:22.000 it's a lot of fun.
18:01:30.000 Are you trying to convince me that noodles belong in bowls?
18:01:32.000 I feel like I'll have a stronger argument Because Mike is right.
18:01:36.000 You see, you did 1,000 push-ups first, and you're saying you'll just blow up in a cup.
18:01:40.000 I feel like if I do 1,000, then at least you'd have someone to debate with.
18:01:45.000 It will be much more difficult to convince the world Noodle's blowing up a cup if you do 1,000 push-ups.
18:01:48.000 I'm not going to lie to you.
18:01:49.000 That's the idea.
18:01:52.000 Walk around.
18:01:55.000 Shit, you've stolen my technique.
18:01:58.000 Hey, we both developed this technique.
18:02:00.000 I'm still on my secret move.
18:02:02.000 Physical strength is the baseline to a happy life as a man.
18:02:24.000 I think that it underpins everything else.
18:02:27.000 If I could pick physical strength and a strong body, or supreme intelligence and knowledge, or billions of dollars of wealth, most people would pick billions of dollars of wealth.
18:02:43.000 If I could only pick one of those, and I had to live my life with one, and not the others, I would be a strong man.
18:02:52.000 I think you're happier overall.
18:02:53.000 You'd be happier overall.
18:02:55.000 You can have friends who have money.
18:02:58.000 You still enjoy your life.
18:02:59.000 You can have friends who have more knowledge than you.
18:03:01.000 You can slowly learn, even if you're a dummy.
18:03:05.000 But there's something about being a physically strong man, that when I meet physically strong men, and you meet them, they immediately have my respect.
18:03:13.000 Immediately!
18:03:14.000 Regardless of how smart they are, regardless of how rich they are, I immediately respect them.
18:03:21.000 Words, there's no man in the world who's so rich that I will immediately respect him without strength or intelligence.
18:03:28.000 And there's nobody so smart who I will immediately respect when he's completely flat broke and a weakling.
18:03:35.000 It's the most important thing in life to being a man.
18:03:40.000 The single most important thing.
18:03:43.000 Take your shirt off.
18:03:45.000 That was pushups, let's go.
18:03:52.000 Take your shirt off.
18:04:20.000 Nice.
18:04:25.000 Comb my hair.
18:04:27.000 What's this?
18:04:54.000 JL Aikido?
18:04:55.000 JL Aikido.
18:04:56.000 We did loads of JL Aikido.
18:04:57.000 You know, you're super good at it now.
18:05:04.000 You know, you think you remember the number.
18:05:17.000 You don't.
18:05:17.000 You get to higher numbers, you fuck up.
18:05:19.000 Yup.
18:05:19.000 I'm gonna use this little cigarette box.
18:05:26.000 You gotta take your time between them, otherwise you don't stand a chance, so.
18:05:29.000 Yeah. So far I have done 18. Nice relaxing cigarette break.
18:05:54.000 Thanks.
18:05:55.000 and I'll see you in the next video. Bye!
18:05:57.000 Thank you.
18:05:59.000 Now the real jail memories are flooding back.
18:06:04.000 It's real jail, not serious jail, you know?
18:06:56.000 Exactly what war is and what are the aims of it.
18:06:59.000 What are the aims?
18:06:59.000 Control?
18:07:02.000 Exactly what you say.
18:07:05.000 The struggle of war, the entire object of it, isn't to do with violence, isn't to do with killing anyone, it's to do with taking away your enemy's ability to resist.
18:07:18.000 Disarming them.
18:07:19.000 Both mentally, psychologically, physically, taking away their ability to resist is victory You can do that after a battle you've won the war.
18:07:31.000 So that they can no longer resist your version of reality.
18:07:35.000 So you can inject the slave program.
18:07:37.000 Yeah.
18:07:39.000 For what you want of them, because they're not your people.
18:07:41.000 Or if they are your people, even then you still might want them as slaves.
18:07:44.000 So once they no longer have the capability to resist, you have won the war.
18:07:49.000 You've won the war.
18:07:50.000 And the reason you want that is so that when you come along with things they don't like, that they would resist against, they can't.
18:07:58.000 Because if they have the capability to resist, you have to be very careful with what you tell them to do.
18:08:01.000 But if they don't, you tell them to do whatever you want.
18:08:05.000 Yeah.
18:08:08.000 So even the first chapter.
18:08:09.000 Let's get into the first chapter.
18:08:10.000 That looks very interesting.
18:08:12.000 Okay.
18:09:09.000 monthly, yearly, all the time.
18:09:11.000 Defeat, after defeat, after defeat.
18:09:14.000 So they're sitting in their house with eight Booster Jams.
18:09:16.000 I hope they let me go to a coffee shop.
18:09:19.000 Clowns.
18:09:20.000 And by destroying the enemy's capability to resist, that means they also have to destroy you financially, which we all know, which is why we teach how to make money, because it's very difficult to fight back without money.
18:09:28.000 So they try to undo the loss.
18:09:30.000 Completely.
18:09:30.000 And we've lost maybe, what, 50, 60 million dollars from this?
18:09:34.000 Oh no!
18:09:35.000 They destroy your money.
18:09:36.000 That was our only 50, 60 million.
18:09:41.000 Because, yeah, they have to destroy your capability to resist.
18:09:43.000 And also, they want to destroy your mentality, your warrior spirit, because that's acquired as a capability to resist.
18:09:48.000 They want you in jail, breaking down.
18:09:50.000 crime, upset, unable to sleep.
18:09:52.000 So the prosecutor says, just say you're guilty so we win.
18:09:55.000 You're, oh, okay.
18:09:56.000 Even if you're not in jail, they want you out on the street, broke, semi-depressed, sad, fat, weak, addicted to porn.
18:10:04.000 Because then you cannot resist the slave mind programming.
18:10:07.000 So I've been saying, I'm glad you said it's what I said, because I know I'm right about everything.
18:10:12.000 It's good to have it confirmed by Mr. Carl Von Klotzwitz.
18:10:17.000 I don't know when that book was written, by the look of his uniform, I guess late 18th century.
18:10:21.000 So it was written before the first two world wars, but after Napoleon's campaigns in Europe, Franco-Prussian War maybe?
18:10:30.000 I'm not sure.
18:10:40.000 Only 920 push-ups to go.
18:10:43.000 But we have nothing but time in jail.
18:10:44.000 The push-ups will get done.
18:10:46.000 I wonder if there are any superchats actually We have a bit more space here, but typically in a real-life jail environment, you let one man do his push-ups at his own pace, because there's only so much floor space for one man to really work, and then the other man renegades himself to the bed while the other one does push-ups.
18:11:04.000 So if there were any questions, any super chats while Andrew's doing push-ups about when's Tristan going to do his push-ups, I should have actually clarified that at the beginning.
18:11:11.000 I do my push-ups after Andrew's done his push-ups.
18:11:14.000 Because there's no rush.
18:11:15.000 Oh, we both have to be ready and at the house by four o'clock.
18:11:18.000 That's why I've got such a massive gym where five or six men can all train together.
18:11:22.000 But in jail, you've got 24 hours in a day.
18:11:24.000 Doesn't matter if you do them up until midnight.
18:11:26.000 Doesn't matter if you do them up one in the morning.
18:11:28.000 Doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.
18:11:30.000 You just do it to the bushes.
18:11:35.000 Oops.
18:11:36.000 You can do it, Rock.
18:12:04.000 There is no tomorrow.
18:12:06.000 You can do it, Rock!
18:12:15.000 Push-ups.
18:12:18.000 The warrior's code, there's no surrender.
18:12:21.000 Underpinning of all healthy civilizations.
18:12:24.000 The spirit cries, stop.
18:12:26.000 Body cries, stop.
18:12:27.000 Oops.
18:12:29.000 The body cries, stop.
18:12:31.000 The spirit cries, never!
18:12:33.000 How do you do your numbers?
18:12:34.000 Deep in our soul, a quiet ember.
18:12:37.000 I'll tell you how I do my numbers.
18:12:39.000 Let's cross them out, write a new number.
18:12:40.000 No, so what I do is, because this is also a little system I have that makes press-ups more fun.
18:12:46.000 So I'll do 40.
18:12:47.000 Yeah.
18:12:48.000 And then I'll turn the 4 into an 8, to save paper space.
18:12:52.000 80.
18:12:52.000 So when I get to 120, I'll write 12, not 120.
18:13:00.000 And then however many I do, I'll turn the 2, let's say I do 45, turn the 2 into a 6 and add the 5 on for 165.
18:13:05.000 Nice.
18:13:08.000 Why does this matter?
18:13:09.000 Who knows?
18:13:09.000 This is jail.
18:13:11.000 Preservation of ink and paper.
18:13:15.000 In jail, everything is limited.
18:13:18.000 If I were to ask one stupid chat, you know what I would ask?
18:13:23.000 Why didn't Andrew lose or eat his spoonful of coffee?
18:13:25.000 In the burning heart!
18:13:27.000 I'll do another one.
18:13:28.000 Just about two bursts.
18:13:30.000 I'll do another one right now.
18:13:35.000 Spoons and unquenchable thirst are for amateurs.
18:13:40.000 In the darkest night, rising like a spire.
18:13:47.000 Mmm.
18:13:47.000 Coffee.
18:13:50.000 In the burning heart, the understakeable fire.
18:13:54.000 Woo!
18:14:11.000 Bye.
18:14:12.000 Bye.
18:14:13.000 Buzz myself up.
18:14:15.000 For the press-ups of the future.
18:14:18.000 After you did yours, there's only a thousand press-ups left in this room.
18:14:21.000 There's only a thousand press-ups left in the universe after I did mine.
18:14:24.000 So if you do them all, then nobody at home can do any push-ups.
18:14:26.000 No one can do any push-ups.
18:14:26.000 Because we've done them all.
18:14:27.000 Which makes us stronger than everyone else on the planet.
18:14:29.000 In fact, I'm gonna wait a while for my next set, and I'm gonna tell everyone.
18:14:33.000 If you didn't do push-ups on end, you didn't do push-ups.
18:14:36.000 Now's your chance in the next 20 minutes, so let's do 120.
18:14:39.000 Follow along with me back to the forty.
18:14:42.000 Be heroes.
18:14:43.000 Join in.
18:14:44.000 Join in on the thousand push-up challenge.
18:14:46.000 And if you feel like you haven't got energy or you feel lethargic, life hack, eat granulated coffee like it's sweets, like it's candy.
18:14:55.000 I mean, we're almost half a jar in now and I think besides we've had one cup of coffee, everything else has been eaten the old-fashioned way.
18:15:02.000 Yeah, that was a new jar and we started last night at 10pm.
18:15:09.000 In the warrior's code, there's no surrender.
18:15:13.000 Though your spirit cries, stop.
18:15:16.000 Why do I keep saying that?
18:15:18.000 Because you're a tardy, clearly.
18:15:21.000 Spirit cries, never.
18:15:23.000 Where's my croquette though?
18:15:24.000 Deep in our soul, we need some coffee.
18:15:29.000 It's you against you.
18:15:30.000 It's the Nescafe that drives us on.
18:15:37.000 It's the Nescafe that drives us on.
18:15:53.000 120 guys, I want you to get there.
18:15:55.000 Five more minutes to do your 120 push-ups.
18:16:04.000 Five more minutes to do your 120 push-ups.
18:16:07.000 You can keep up with T. Do a thousand.
18:16:09.000 I'd be a fucking hero.
18:16:16.000 I'm a burning heart.
18:16:22.000 Just about to burst.
18:16:24.000 There's a quest for answers, an unquenchable thirst.
18:16:29.000 In the darkest night, rising like a spire.
18:16:34.000 the burning heart the unmistakable fire i have coffee granules over my arms
18:17:01.000 best game plan in the book By far the best.
18:17:39.000 What was Istanbul like in the 60s?
18:17:41.000 So...
18:17:43.000 Sounds good.
18:17:43.000 Was it?
18:17:44.000 Yeah, it was with a man named Darko Karim, head of station T for MI6.
18:17:47.000 He was a big, former strongman at the circuses.
18:17:50.000 Mustache, bald head, a big Turkish guy who was head of station T for Turkey.
18:17:56.000 Darko Karim was a fucking G. Oh, I famously corrected someone.
18:17:59.000 It was one of my most beautiful corrections.
18:18:01.000 You know when idiots talk shit?
18:18:03.000 Some idiot was like, Ian Fleming was a bad guy, blah, blah, blah.
18:18:07.000 And I've read all 12 of his books three times each.
18:18:09.000 And he said, uh, I said, Ian Fleming, bad guy, why?
18:18:11.000 Well, he said that women enjoy being, uh, forced and having people force themselves upon them.
18:18:17.000 I said, no, Ian Fleming didn't say that.
18:18:19.000 Darko Kareem said that.
18:18:21.000 He's a character from a book in which Ian Fleming wrote.
18:18:24.000 Does that mean that we have to say that J.K.
18:18:26.000 Rowling wants to murder school children because she wrote the character Voldemort?
18:18:29.000 Don't fucking tell me that Ian Fleming said something because a character in a book that he wrote said something.
18:18:36.000 Shut the fuck up.
18:18:37.000 And their face was just like... Yeah, uh-huh, yeah.
18:18:40.000 This symbol in the 60s must have been sick.
18:18:42.000 I bet it was sick.
18:18:44.000 But you need connections.
18:18:46.000 You need Darko Karim.
18:18:49.000 Would Darko Karim make it good?
18:18:50.000 Darko Karim does make it good.
18:18:52.000 Takes them to a gypsy feast where they witness a fight to the death between two girls who want to marry a gypsy prince.
18:18:57.000 Assassinates a Bulgarian terrorist.
18:19:00.000 Bulgarian assassin who's after Darko Karim.
18:19:02.000 Him and Bond take him out.
18:19:04.000 It's a fucking good book.
18:19:05.000 It's an excellent book.
18:19:07.000 Darko Kareem.
18:19:08.000 Yeah.
18:19:08.000 I might change my name.
18:19:10.000 To Darko Kareem?
18:19:12.000 You can't be Darko Kareem.
18:19:14.000 It's a sick name.
18:19:17.000 It is a fucking sick name!
18:19:19.000 Bruv!
18:19:19.000 Darko Kareem, bruv!
18:19:21.000 Yeah.
18:19:22.000 Super big, strong guy with one of those dry, crushing handshakes.
18:19:30.000 I'll be back.
18:19:31.000 120 push-ups, nerds.
18:19:32.000 I'm going to do a little bit of cardio.
18:20:00.000 One hundred.
18:20:10.000 Ice cold G. I also like the sound of this person.
18:20:26.000 Colonel Rosa Klebb, head of operations and executions.
18:20:29.000 Nasty bitch.
18:20:31.000 Short, ugly, yellow teeth, chain-smoking cigarette, 57-year-old woman.
18:20:34.000 Brutal.
18:20:36.000 Head of Operations and Executions.
18:20:38.000 Yeah, to torture people for fun.
18:20:40.000 There's a line in that book.
18:20:42.000 Remember, you should get close to their face and talk to them as they're being tortured and breathe in their screams as though they were perfume.
18:20:51.000 It's a good line.
18:20:53.000 Rosa Pebbs Vicious.
18:20:55.000 How did she get killed?
18:20:58.000 Can't tell you.
18:20:58.000 No spoilers.
18:21:00.000 That's only a seven hour audio book.
18:21:01.000 Next time you're on a flight and you don't know Wi-Fi, have it downloaded already.
18:21:06.000 Can't do audiobooks.
18:21:07.000 I'd read it for real.
18:21:08.000 I might read it.
18:21:09.000 Yeah, grab it.
18:21:09.000 Grab it and read it.
18:21:10.000 We don't have breakfast tomorrow.
18:21:12.000 And Red Grant, Russian codename Kudzynski, is a defector.
18:21:23.000 He's, uh, he was Northern Irish.
18:21:25.000 He defected to the Soviets in Germany at the end of World War II.
18:21:29.000 And they train him up.
18:21:30.000 He's a giant psychopath.
18:21:31.000 Six foot seven.
18:21:33.000 Red hair.
18:21:34.000 Dead eyes.
18:21:35.000 Smerch is number one executioner.
18:21:37.000 Nice.
18:21:38.000 That's a fucking awesome character.
18:21:39.000 What does Smerch stand for?
18:21:41.000 Smerch, uh, it's three Russian words that translate to death to spies.
18:21:47.000 And now Russians in Ukraine are using that term to execute spies and traitors.
18:21:55.000 I wonder what the world was like in the 60s.
18:21:58.000 It was much more interesting.
18:21:59.000 Incredibly interesting.
18:22:00.000 Everything's the same now.
18:22:01.000 A lot of everyone's problems in these books would be solved or fixed if they had GPS and cell phones and stuff.
18:22:06.000 It's all geeks now.
18:22:07.000 Yeah.
18:22:07.000 Espionage.
18:22:08.000 Oh, we think that Emilio Largo's got a nuclear weapon and he's going to set off off the coast of Florida, go to the Bahamas and investigate.
18:22:15.000 Now it'd be like, click, click, click, click, click.
18:22:17.000 Yeah, it's him.
18:22:17.000 Yeah.
18:22:18.000 Send the SWAT team.
18:22:19.000 Boring.
18:22:19.000 Boring!
18:22:21.000 Those books are good.
18:22:21.000 Send DCOM.
18:22:22.000 Boring.
18:22:23.000 Boring.
18:22:23.000 It's good because they're written in the 1650s.
18:22:25.000 It's beautiful to fight Dark Okarin.
18:22:31.000 He may be my favorite sidekick of Bones.
18:22:51.000 I don't think he'll be shown in the long run.
18:22:53.000 Stop whistling, that's all.
18:23:01.000 Can you make a point about when you're in jail and you're not?
18:23:06.000 and you get something stuck in your head.
18:23:08.000 It's stuck.
18:23:10.000 Nothing else to fucking do, friend.
18:23:13.000 Push up some cigarettes.
18:23:16.000 Push up some cigarettes.
18:23:18.000 ...
18:23:42.000 Hebrews, cleanse our soul.
18:23:48.000 ...
18:24:13.000 I was in like a spire.
18:24:18.000 Wonder what's for dinner?
18:24:36.000 Who knows?
18:24:39.000 Potato soup shit usual
18:24:41.000 I'm going to make a potato soup shit video.
18:25:28.000 The spirit cries, never!
18:25:31.000 Why, Amber?
18:25:36.000 Was it you against you?
18:25:38.000 It's the paradox that drives you on.
18:25:42.000 ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to
18:26:03.000 break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to
18:26:32.000 break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to
18:27:00.000 break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to
18:27:27.000 break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to
18:27:56.000 break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ ♪ I'm trying to break free from the chain, trying to break free from the chain. ♪ Hey, gentlemen, we're going to rock, we're going to rock, everybody stand up.
18:28:14.000 Everybody, let's rock.
18:28:15.000 Everybody, let's rock.
18:28:16.000 Let's rock.
18:28:28.000 Yeah.
18:28:30.000 What?
18:28:31.000 Not yet.
18:28:32.000 There is no tomorrow!
18:28:34.000 Smoke your fucking cigarette.
18:28:35.000 You're in jail, loser.
18:28:38.000 all the earthly pleasures that you have.
18:28:39.000 True.
18:28:49.000 Just lay on your uncomfortable bed.
18:28:56.000 You're going to be fine.
18:30:21.000 200 push-ups, guys.
18:30:22.000 Follow along.
18:30:24.000 They think they can stop Mustafa!
18:30:28.000 Mustafa, tell the cops!
18:30:29.000 They're still stomping the state mafia!
18:30:33.000 Hey, Christian!
18:30:36.000 I need one cigarette, bro!
18:30:39.000 Just one cigarette!
18:30:41.000 My mother call me Mustafa because I want Mustafa cigarette!
18:30:46.000 I'm most top of cigarettes.
18:30:48.000 That's a good thing.
18:30:50.000 I told these guys the jail stories.
18:30:53.000 And they've really, really done a very good job at making jail.
18:30:58.000 Is there a very realistic representation?
18:31:05.000 You're the most top of the cigarette.
18:31:07.000 No.
18:31:07.000 You're the one with the most cigarettes.
18:31:11.000 You've been making cigarettes.
18:31:13.000 No.
18:31:17.000 Let me give him a...
18:31:43.000 Give him a cigarette.
18:31:47.000 I'm not in this guy!
18:31:48.000 You're my friend, Tristan!
18:31:50.000 Take!
18:31:50.000 I come for cigarette, Tristan!
18:31:58.000 I'll give him a cigarette.
18:32:00.000 You can give him a cigarette.
18:32:11.000 Thank you, Andrew!
18:32:12.000 Tristan, take my friend!
18:32:17.000 You know the worst thing?
18:32:18.000 The guy he's pretending to be is still in jail.
18:32:21.000 Right there.
18:32:22.000 No Pope.
18:32:23.000 That's right.
18:32:24.000 I can fix my neck.
18:32:26.000 Thank you Andrew Tate.
18:32:30.000 Thank you Mafia. We are unstoppable together.
18:32:33.000 That's right. Tate Mafia.
18:32:35.000 Thank you Mafia.
18:32:38.000 I'm going to start with the first one.
18:32:40.000 I'm going to start with the first one.
18:33:07.000 I'm going to do it myself.
18:33:12.000 Unfortunately not. I tried that.
18:33:14.000 We'll just sit down and hope the prisoners take care of themselves.
18:33:17.000 Yeah, they don't.
18:33:19.000 They don't do the...
18:33:21.000 I'm going to do it myself.
18:33:51.000 Go over that way.
18:33:55.000 Go over the way. It's not meat or hair, you were meaning.
18:34:13.000 Technically meat.
18:34:18.000 Man, this cigarette is powerful!
18:34:21.000 See?
18:34:21.000 I go five packs up every time I smoke it!
18:34:25.000 But I don't talk cheap things!
18:34:28.000 You're welcome, G. Technically, my hair is tidier than yours.
18:34:32.000 Why?
18:34:32.000 Because it exists.
18:34:34.000 I have hair.
18:34:35.000 It's just short.
18:34:37.000 Very short.
18:34:37.000 Micron level.
18:34:38.000 Micron tidiness.
18:34:40.000 It's a new minute.
18:34:47.000 I have better hairstyle than you.
18:34:49.000 Whatever.
18:34:49.000 Whatever.
18:34:50.000 Two minute.
18:34:51.000 Whatever.
18:35:59.000 Hey!
18:36:02.000 Fuck you, Bogdan!
18:36:05.000 He's gonna get his ass kicked.
18:36:08.000 He's 100% gonna get his ass kicked.
18:36:17.000 It's a real jail experience.
18:36:20.000 We could sell this.
18:36:24.000 Twenty grand a night.
18:36:26.000 Full jail experience.
18:36:28.000 With screaming psychopaths and everything.
18:36:30.000 Management of resources.
18:36:31.000 is limited cigarettes. Two words, goodbye. My nation.
18:37:00.000 I'm going to get my frustration. We hope against all. But it's you again. Your freedoms up against.
18:37:20.000 It's.
18:37:23.000 I'm sorry.
18:37:24.000 Thank you.
18:37:25.000 you Does the crowd understand?
18:37:29.000 Stop singing that fucking song.
18:37:31.000 Is it East versus West?
18:37:33.000 Or man against man?
18:37:35.000 Can any nation stand alone?
18:37:42.000 In the burning heart Just about to burst Is the quest for answers an unquenchable thirst?
18:37:54.000 In the darkest night Rising like a fire.
18:38:00.000 Burning hard, the unmistakable fire.
18:38:05.000 In the warrior's code, there's no surrender.
18:38:18.000 When his body cries, stop.
18:38:20.000 His spirit cries, never.
18:38:24.000 Deep in our soul, a quiet ember.
18:38:28.000 Knows it's you against you.
18:38:30.000 It's the paradox that drives us all.
18:38:41.000 It's a battle of wills.
18:38:42.000 In the heat of attack.
18:38:46.000 It's the passion that kills.
18:38:51.000 The victory is yours, oh Lord.
18:38:58.000 In a burning heart.
18:39:02.000 Just about to burst.
18:39:04.000 You need a cigarette before you push up.
18:39:08.000 I actually have got a cigarette.
18:39:10.000 In the darkest night.
18:39:11.000 I don't know if he's got a voice.
18:39:12.000 Greta?
18:39:13.000 Frozen like a spider.
18:39:17.000 Cigarette.
18:39:18.000 Jacobo 5!
18:39:20.000 I'm going to be doing a lot of singing.
18:39:35.000 How many of you are too scared to light your beard on fire?
18:39:58.000 I don't know.
18:40:01.000 I let my beard on fire a few times.
18:40:04.000 I don't know, I let my video on fire a few times. I think I may have got you to come back. I used to do it at IU.
18:40:11.000 Think about it, Andrew.
18:40:37.000 Push-ups don't technically exist as things.
18:40:41.000 You make them exist.
18:40:42.000 So why is everyone so scared of doing push-ups if they don't even exist?
18:40:45.000 They're scared of something that isn't real.
18:40:46.000 No, but you bring them into the universe by doing them.
18:40:48.000 You conjure them from nothing.
18:40:50.000 It's like alchemy.
18:40:51.000 So you have the power in your hands and arms and chest to conjure a push-up out of nothing.
18:40:55.000 Why is everyone so scared of doing them?
18:40:57.000 They can't hurt you.
18:40:58.000 That's why they don't create anything.
18:40:59.000 That's why they're little consumers.
18:41:00.000 Little babies.
18:41:02.000 We create, like magicians.
18:41:04.000 We create push-ups.
18:41:05.000 That's why we're heroes.
18:41:11.000 Falsely imprisoning innocent men to try to silence their cause has never worked in history.
18:41:18.000 It's never worked, has it?
18:41:19.000 It doesn't.
18:41:21.000 As soon as people realize that it's all bullshit, they shouldn't be in jail.
18:41:24.000 It just galvanizes their whole cause, their message.
18:41:30.000 But, but, but, no matter how How heroic you are, how smart you are, how right you are, how innocent you are.
18:41:35.000 Matt Shea's gonna come out and get you with a HITPEACH!
18:41:39.000 SHIT!
18:41:39.000 Not Matt Shea!
18:41:40.000 No!
18:41:41.000 The D&G!
18:41:42.000 Ah!
18:41:44.000 Scared?
18:41:45.000 I can't think of a person on Earth I'm less afraid of than Mesh.
18:41:48.000 To be fair, he's- I'm already literally beating him up, you know that.
18:41:51.000 We sparred, and I tried less than 3%, and he was so shit that I accidentally hurt him while trying very hard to not hurt him.
18:42:00.000 I thought, let me not hurt him and accidentally hurt him because he's that weak.
18:42:04.000 Like a baby.
18:42:05.000 Or like when you're play wrestling with a child and you accidentally hurt him, or a woman.
18:42:10.000 I was like, let me try not to hit him, but he's so shit and so stupid and so weak, I accidentally hurt him.
18:42:16.000 And then he wrote in his little documentary, he beat me up.
18:42:19.000 Bruv, you have no idea how beat up you could have been.
18:42:23.000 You little pussy!
18:42:24.000 Bombaclat!
18:42:24.000 I'm not. I have no idea. The limits of me beating you up that exists out there in the universe that I did not enact.
18:42:32.000 I tried very hard to not beat you up and you still got beat up. I wonder how many more millions of you in jail smoking cigarettes and get his hip pieces.
18:42:49.000 This is Thank you.
18:43:07.000 Is this the love that I've been searching for?
18:43:12.000 Is this love or am I dreaming?
18:43:16.000 Is this the love?
18:43:19.000 Cause it's really got a hold on me.
18:43:26.000 Is this jail where I'm sitting?
18:43:32.000 Is this the jail that I've been searching for?
18:43:37.000 Is this jail or am I dreaming?
18:43:41.000 Is this the jail?
18:43:44.000 D-cots really got a hold on me.
18:43:47.000 Hold on me.
18:43:59.000 Pushups don't do themselves do they?
18:44:02.000 I have to sit here.
18:44:03.000 Pushups don't do themselves.
18:44:05.000 I can't write more numbers on the paper without doing more push-ups, can I?
18:44:09.000 And there's nothing more satisfying than writing numbers on the paper.
18:44:13.000 When you write a number, you're like, yeah, I did some push-ups, yeah!
18:44:16.000 Wait until you start writing the fucking 900s, mate.
18:44:19.000 Woo!
18:44:21.000 I'll show you the fucking- Do you write down the thousand?
18:44:23.000 Yeah, oh, you gotta write down the thousand, that's the best time!
18:44:26.000 When you write down a thousand, that's a fucking- that's like having a birthday cake!
18:44:29.000 Wait until you get to write one with three zeros!
18:44:34.000 Best time of your fucking life, mate!
18:44:36.000 You've never fucking done anything so good.
18:44:38.000 What, Bugattis?
18:44:39.000 What, sex?
18:44:40.000 Mr. fucking Tristan pounding away on the vag?
18:44:43.000 No, no sir!
18:44:45.000 This is what matters!
18:44:48.000 Ugh, not some whoopee!
18:44:49.000 Have sex with me, please!
18:44:51.000 All these girls, please have sex with me!
18:44:53.000 No!
18:44:54.000 I have to run my empire.
18:44:55.000 I have to do my push-ups.
18:44:56.000 Fuck off!
18:44:57.000 Well, what can't it handle?
18:44:58.000 Oh, Jesus Christ.
18:44:58.000 Leave me alone!
18:45:00.000 How are men out here not having sex?
18:45:01.000 Women literally beg for dick all day, every day.
18:45:04.000 Leave me not into temptation.
18:45:09.000 It's hard to get a girl that, what, for you?
18:45:12.000 Pussy.
18:45:12.000 I bet it is.
18:45:14.000 You can't put her outside my fucking house.
18:45:17.000 It's like an inept loser caveman who can't hunt.
18:45:19.000 It's hard to get her food.
18:45:21.000 It's not.
18:45:21.000 It's not. It's not. I'm Tom J. Why can't I remember the first line of that song? Why is it? It's a good song.
18:45:31.000 So, you know, better.
18:45:35.000 That's it.
18:45:36.000 Should've known better.
18:45:38.000 Let's walk home.
18:45:41.000 Times like these, I can't make it on my own.
18:45:45.000 Wasted days and sleepless nights.
18:45:50.000 And I can't wait to see you again.
18:45:52.000 So I can hold you.
18:45:58.000 That's the hook in the middle.
18:46:01.000 Wasted all my time.
18:46:04.000 weigh in on your co-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o I need you by my side to tell me it's alright.
18:46:08.000 I hate to tell you, babe.
18:46:10.000 Hate to tell you, babe.
18:46:12.000 Backs against the wall.
18:46:14.000 I need you by my side to tell me it's alright.
18:46:18.000 Cause I don't think I can take anymore.
18:46:22.000 So I can hold you in my arms Is this love?
18:46:28.000 Am I dreaming?
18:46:29.000 Is this the love?
18:46:30.000 If you know Whitesnake, or you're like the son or grandson of someone who sang or performed in Whitesnake, you tell them that they're fucking heroes.
18:46:40.000 Is this the love?
18:46:42.000 The only person who got more fucking pus than us was Whitesnake in the 80s.
18:46:48.000 Damn right.
18:46:49.000 With their long hair.
18:46:50.000 Yeah, they were slaying, weren't they?
18:46:51.000 Or is this the love?
18:46:53.000 Man, dude, that's the skeleton in my closet.
18:46:57.000 Seriously, Ted, he used to meet and date and sleep with multiple women.
18:47:01.000 OH MY GOD!
18:47:03.000 I know.
18:47:03.000 I hope the Conservatives don't catch you, because everyone's scared of the Conservatives.
18:47:07.000 They win loads of issues.
18:47:09.000 Fucking cowards.
18:47:10.000 I'm not a Conservative.
18:47:12.000 I'm actually Republican Bill 306.
18:47:13.000 Porn addicts.
18:47:15.000 Losers.
18:47:16.000 Get fucked.
18:47:17.000 You lose to liberals.
18:47:18.000 You lose to people who don't even know what gender they are.
18:47:20.000 Shut the fuck up.
18:47:23.000 Is this the love?
18:47:26.000 You know what I find hypocritical about the whole thing?
18:47:30.000 Hear me out.
18:47:32.000 On both sides of the argument, the worst thing they could find out, digging through all my closets for skeletons, is that I used to sleep with and date with lots of women, okay?
18:47:41.000 Hear me out.
18:47:42.000 Women are the gatekeepers of sexual relationships and sexual interactions, right?
18:47:47.000 No one here's a rapist.
18:47:48.000 Rapists are detestable people.
18:47:50.000 Every woman who's ever gone to bed with I've had to charm, take out on dates, buy flowers for him, eat dinner with him.
18:47:56.000 And they thought, I'm going to sleep with this man.
18:47:59.000 And in this day and age, I'm talking more about the liberals, I guess.
18:48:02.000 In this day and age of women have sexual freedom of choice, they can sleep with who they want.
18:48:06.000 When they find a clip of me, when I'm 26, going, yeah, I've got loads of girlfriends, I sleep with loads of girls.
18:48:11.000 They're like, oh my God, he's a bad man.
18:48:13.000 It's not something I'm doing to them.
18:48:16.000 It's something they choose to do with me.
18:48:18.000 What kind of fucking hypocritical universe is this?
18:48:21.000 Should've known better than to let you go alone.
18:48:26.000 Times like these, I can't make it on my own.
18:48:31.000 Need a cigarette to make me feel alright.
18:48:34.000 Cause you know that I ain't in jail again.
18:48:39.000 Is this jail that I'm living?
18:48:43.000 Is this the jail?
18:48:45.000 Because it's really gonna How fast?
18:49:01.000 Even numbers of the enemy.
18:49:06.000 Go do the thousand.
18:49:08.000 You can do like 300 or 400 even numbers for the enemy because then you have 100 in front of you.
18:49:27.000 But if you do 320, you're almost finished the threes.
18:49:31.000 Even though you haven't, your mind thinks you have.
18:49:33.000 No, I don't do 20 next.
18:49:34.000 I do 30 or 40.
18:49:35.000 Yeah.
18:49:37.000 Or 23.
18:49:38.000 Anything.
18:49:38.000 Can't leave the 100 as a formidable force.
18:49:41.000 Then you feel like you're done.
18:49:42.000 It's like a complete task.
18:49:43.000 That's right.
18:49:43.000 You have to damage the enemy army.
18:49:46.000 Yeah.
18:49:46.000 You have to encroach into enemy territory or so slightly.
18:49:50.000 The next 100.
18:49:51.000 Dark territory.
18:49:52.000 Dark territory.
18:49:57.000 Steven Seagal was one of the coolest people on the planet.
18:50:00.000 Steven Seagal's a G. We knew he was a G. We learned Aikido, and then we met him, and it turns out he's better than we even thought.
18:50:06.000 He's better than we even thought.
18:50:06.000 They say never meet your heroes.
18:50:08.000 No.
18:50:09.000 Meet your heroes once you're already a G. Because you might be disappointed, but you might.
18:50:15.000 Meet your heroes if they're Steven Seagal.
18:50:18.000 Meet your heroes if they're Steven Seagal, because you will be overwhelmed.
18:50:23.000 At what a fucking badass he is.
18:50:26.000 In every way.
18:50:27.000 Steven Seagal is one of the best humans that ever lived.
18:50:34.000 In our generation.
18:50:35.000 In living memory.
18:50:38.000 is one of the best humans ever.
18:50:40.000 You just by my side tell me it's alright cause I know I'm gonna take you Two or three times in jail the Steven Seagal movie came on.
18:50:51.000 On the old movie channel.
18:50:53.000 Hard to kill was on?
18:50:57.000 Mason Storm.
18:50:58.000 That's a fucking name.
18:51:01.000 You wouldn't mess with Mason Storm.
18:51:02.000 You certainly wouldn't kill his wife and his family.
18:51:05.000 And hospitalise him.
18:51:06.000 Because he'll come out with a coma fucking 12 years later.
18:51:08.000 And you're fucking dead!
18:51:10.000 Fucked.
18:51:10.000 You can take that to the bank.
18:51:13.000 You can take that to the bank.
18:51:14.000 I don't think we could have reenacted Joe Berman.
18:51:32.000 It's jail, bro.
18:51:33.000 I think everything about it is perfect.
18:51:34.000 This is jail.
18:51:35.000 This is what you do.
18:51:35.000 You just sit in jail.
18:51:37.000 I'm glad people see it now.
18:51:41.000 You only get to experience one 92nd of my time in jail.
18:52:04.000 **whistle**
18:52:54.000 Did you spill the ashtray over there?
18:53:07.000 Get fucked.
18:53:09.000 Oh no, you didn't.
18:53:11.000 You were using the floor as an ashtray.
18:53:13.000 As per jail rules.
18:53:14.000 Nice.
18:53:18.000 We were lucky enough and rich enough to have Nescafe lids to use as ashtrays.
18:53:22.000 Not everyone in jail gets that luxury.
18:53:23.000 Or the luxury of cigarettes.
18:53:25.000 Eat our coffee and smoke our cigarettes like heroes.
18:53:29.000 We also had Oreos.
18:53:33.000 Oreos.
18:53:35.000 I'm going to try to get a better angle.
18:54:44.000 320.
18:54:46.000 Thank you. Thank you guys.
18:55:09.000 Thank you.
18:55:16.000 Nice.
18:55:17.000 Doesn't get better than masa, does it?
18:55:18.000 So what do we have?
18:55:20.000 A potato.
18:55:21.000 A potato.
18:55:26.000 And a bowl of horrible soup.
18:55:29.000 So the thing I'm doing is prison masa.
18:55:31.000 slicing my potato up to bolster my soup we got a bowl of horrible soup and a potato That's pretty typical.
18:55:50.000 You want to go hot water?
18:55:53.000 Ah!
18:55:55.000 Hot soup noodles.
18:56:02.000 Ah, nice.
18:56:02.000 While it's still hot.
18:56:03.000 It's a super good idea, but if I do that, then I'm eating my noodles from a bowl.
18:56:07.000 Fuck!
18:56:08.000 Shit!
18:56:09.000 The ultimate betrayal!
18:56:15.000 I should have known, all in all, you had something up your sleeve.
18:56:17.000 Now what am I going to do?
18:56:19.000 Take it on the top.
18:56:28.000 Oh.
18:56:30.000 Ooh, I'm looking forward to this.
18:56:34.000 Good meal.
18:56:38.000 I can't do it.
18:56:41.000 You don't want noodles in that soup.
18:56:43.000 No, I want noodles in the soup.
18:56:45.000 And there's not many things I say I'm not mad enough to do, but I... I can't go back on my conviction.
18:56:52.000 I'm too deep in.
18:56:53.000 I'm too deep with my philosophy that I can't go back.
18:56:58.000 There are millions of witnesses.
18:56:59.000 There are millions of witnesses.
18:57:00.000 The whole internet is going to see me admit that noodles can be eaten from a bowl.
18:57:04.000 And I can't do it.
18:57:06.000 I'm going to have to just go without noodles.
18:57:10.000 I know I'm hungry.
18:57:11.000 I know I've had only watery soup and an egg so far today.
18:57:16.000 I got a dry potato.
18:57:18.000 Sometimes, your soul is worth more.
18:57:23.000 My sanity is not for sale.
18:57:24.000 I'm a principled man, and I've always told the internet I never sold my soul.
18:57:28.000 I was telling the truth.
18:57:31.000 Fifty million dollars they offered me to sell my soul.
18:57:32.000 All I had to do was shut up and take the contract, and I said no.
18:57:35.000 I've never sold my soul.
18:57:36.000 And here we are now, with you, an agent for the Matrix, trying to finally make me eat noodles from a bowl.
18:57:42.000 Can't do it.
18:57:43.000 Kirsten, I can't do it.
18:57:45.000 No, sir!
18:57:46.000 Enjoy your noodles, traitor.
18:57:50.000 I have never been in noodles from a cup.
18:57:54.000 I don't even have a cup to make noodles in a cup.
18:58:02.000 Andrew, eat some damn noodles.
18:58:03.000 No, I have no cup.
18:58:05.000 Andrew!
18:58:06.000 The internet won't care.
18:58:07.000 Just eat some noodles.
18:58:08.000 They will care.
18:58:09.000 They'll make fun of me for the rest of my life.
18:58:10.000 Just confess.
18:58:11.000 No, I can't.
18:58:13.000 All the song and dance numbers you've done About bowls and noodles.
18:58:17.000 Admit you were wrong!
18:58:17.000 It's okay to admit you're wrong sometimes!
18:58:19.000 Can you do it with me and my potato?
18:58:27.000 Would you like my potato?
18:58:29.000 As your brother, as with Ramadan when we gave each other different foods at different times of the day because you couldn't eat at certain times or whatever, I will offer you my potato.
18:58:40.000 Because you have access to unlimited noodles.
18:58:42.000 Noodles.
18:58:42.000 Yes.
18:58:43.000 And I don't.
18:58:44.000 Yes.
18:58:47.000 That is fair, but it also feels like that I am then, once again, part of the noodles in a bowl fraternity.
18:58:52.000 Fuck you, I'm keeping up, Taylor.
18:58:54.000 Fuck off.
18:58:57.000 Come on, strike me.
18:58:58.000 I do things right or not at all?
18:59:01.000 This guy doesn't have to go without.
18:59:08.000 Fine, you just eat all those noodles from your little bowl.
18:59:10.000 I will.
18:59:11.000 Then poop your little pants.
18:59:12.000 I don't poop my pants.
18:59:14.000 You will.
18:59:15.000 I won't.
18:59:15.000 Sooner or later.
18:59:18.000 Not like when I'm old and dying.
18:59:19.000 Yeah, but one day you'll poop your little pants because of what you're doing right now.
18:59:23.000 You and Neil.
18:59:24.000 It's a whole big spectrum between you and both of you, isn't it?
18:59:29.000 Isn't that right?
18:59:30.000 Andrew, just take some noodles.
18:59:31.000 No.
18:59:32.000 Maybe there's a compromise we can come up with.
18:59:34.000 Ah!
18:59:35.000 I have found you a cup.
18:59:37.000 Nine!
18:59:39.000 And I feel like if you use the shank to take the top off one of these plastic bowls, One cup melts badly.
18:59:49.000 See?
18:59:49.000 Sometimes we just hold out.
18:59:50.000 Don't give in.
18:59:51.000 Do the right thing.
18:59:56.000 Big fat says, big fat says, Somehow negotiate the situation.
19:00:00.000 And the internet believes in you.
19:00:02.000 Oh, and here's a cop.
19:00:04.000 Has war hair.
19:00:06.000 See? Sometimes we just hold out.
19:00:08.000 Don't give in. Do the right thing.
19:00:10.000 Trust in God.
19:00:12.000 What did I say to you?
19:00:14.000 My sanity's not for sale.
19:00:16.000 That was a chance for me to sell out.
19:00:18.000 Just like the Matrix wants me to do.
19:00:20.000 It's always want me to do.
19:00:22.000 To sell my soul and to stop preaching my message to the youth of today.
19:00:25.000 That was a chance for me to sell out.
19:00:27.000 I stuck by my guns and look what God provided me with.
19:00:30.000 Two cops!
19:00:31.000 Two!
19:00:31.000 Use the paper cups.
19:00:36.000 Lesson up for you children at home.
19:00:37.000 Always do the right thing.
19:00:38.000 Never give in.
19:00:40.000 Hey, but also listen to the children at home.
19:00:42.000 It doesn't matter what you eat and drink.
19:00:43.000 It does matter.
19:00:45.000 It super matters.
19:00:48.000 I think you made it matter what he needs to.
19:00:50.000 I didn't make it matter.
19:00:51.000 Our goal made it matter.
19:00:53.000 I was gonna go without noodles.
19:01:05.000 Thank you.
19:01:06.000 Show the world that I mean what I say.
19:01:08.000 -$1.5 million.
19:01:10.000 $1.5 million.
19:01:12.000 $1.5 million.
19:01:14.000 Pubsie never gives in.
19:01:16.000 never surrendered oh by the way you're in jail Sit on the floor and eat.
19:01:41.000 The real mindfuck is that maybe soup shouldn't be eaten from bowls either.
19:01:51.000 Okay, you're just talking shit.
19:01:52.000 Maybe it should all come from cups.
19:01:54.000 Hear me out!
19:01:57.000 Maybe the bowl is not just a sigh-off when it comes to noodles, but to all forms of nutrition.
19:02:05.000 All calorific quantities should be consumed from cups to reach spiritual enlightenment.
19:02:13.000 Ever crossed your mind?
19:02:16.000 No, of course it hasn't.
19:02:18.000 Don't fucking think about anything serious, do you, you prick?
19:02:25.000 So now I know the time.
19:02:34.000 And now the time must be 6.30.
19:02:35.000 No, six six six ish. Oh cars coming through sorry. This is an inspection. Self-imposed jail.
19:03:00.000 Thank you. This is our longest ever live stream.
19:03:25.000 Thank you.
19:03:29.000 Did I get a knife and fork?
19:03:31.000 I gave you two.
19:03:38.000 I'm a cybernetic organism.
19:03:42.000 Plastic fumes.
19:03:45.000 You're not.
19:03:46.000 You're not cybernetic, are you?
19:03:50.000 I'm already quite psyched, I think.
19:03:51.000 Bro, Paper Bowl Boy is not a scary superhero.
19:03:58.000 You and I both know it.
19:04:05.000 But watch out, Paper Bowl Boy's coming.
19:04:12.000 I've never heard that before in my life, have you?
19:04:14.000 No, in fact, I've heard...
19:04:18.000 Your mate's back.
19:04:19.000 I finished my Martha and I fight Ogden.
19:04:21.000 He tell me he punch my teeth.
19:04:24.000 But I have no teeth!
19:04:33.000 who's your man your man pretty good soup
19:04:58.000 uh
19:05:05.000 I'm not transferring my pre-cooked noodles into the rest of the soup.
19:05:35.000 I'm going to be using a lot of water.
19:05:42.000 Get as much flavor out of it as I can.
19:05:47.000 A system that would be much more difficult if you relied on primitive technology like cups.
19:05:51.000 The same, but out there.
19:06:00.000 To the world to know.
19:06:12.000 I can prove to you conclusively with math that noodles in a cup are better than noodles in a bowl.
19:06:17.000 Super.
19:06:18.000 Thank you.
19:06:19.000 Bye.
19:06:20.000 With math, correct.
19:06:24.000 Imagine this.
19:06:26.000 Someone puts a gun to your head and they're going to kill you if you're second in a competition in which you have to write noodles in a bowl versus me writing noodles in a cup.
19:06:41.000 But I have one less character.
19:06:43.000 What chance do you really stand?
19:06:45.000 Scientifically, it's more efficient to write noodles in a cup than noodles in a bowl.
19:06:50.000 Therefore, when your life depends on it, when there's a gun to your head, you're gonna wish you had done the right thing from the beginning.
19:06:57.000 Do you understand me?
19:07:01.000 Or is that beyond your little fucking comprehension of your little fucking parabrain?
19:07:10.000 Think about it.
19:07:15.000 That's why I don't have noodles in a glass.
19:07:16.000 Because it's inefficient.
19:07:20.000 Noodles in a cup.
19:07:21.000 And I don't have glasses in jail.
19:07:24.000 And you know that.
19:07:26.000 That's why noodles on a plate are unacceptable also.
19:07:32.000 But noodles in a mug would be okay, I assume.
19:07:35.000 Noodles in a mug are equivalent values to noodles in a cup.
19:07:40.000 Okay.
19:07:48.000 Is it all starting to make sense to you now, dummy?
19:07:49.000 Starting to get it through your thick fucking head?
19:07:52.000 When you're bashing against the wall in a time crunch, you're gonna have no time for that paper bowl.
19:08:02.000 You're gonna regret all of your life's decisions.
19:08:05.000 I will.
19:08:06.000 You will.
19:08:08.000 You just by my side.
19:08:18.000 Tell me it's all right.
19:08:20.000 Cause my noodles are in a cup.
19:08:28.000 First the noodles are in a bowl.
19:08:30.000 Is this?
19:08:32.000 No.
19:08:35.000 Is this cup from which I'm eating?
19:08:40.000 Is this the cup that I've been searching for?
19:08:45.000 Is this cup?
19:08:48.000 Or am I dreaming?
19:08:50.000 Are you happy because your back was against the wall earlier?
19:08:52.000 Is this the call?
19:08:58.000 Tristan is a fucking nerd.
19:09:01.000 I'm a fucking nerd. Should have known better.
19:09:12.000 Put your noodles in a cup.
19:09:16.000 Sooner or later you will see that you fucked up.
19:09:19.000 Now you sweep the floor.
19:09:23.000 Because you're fucking gay!
19:09:25.000 And you ate your noodles from a bowl!
19:09:30.000 I'm gonna have a cigarette.
19:09:34.000 I'm gonna use some deodorant.
19:09:44.000 I sit around doing push-ups.
19:09:46.000 Roll on deodorant.
19:09:53.000 Whistling.
19:10:00.000 Mmm, refreshing.
19:10:19.000 Water. I'll wash down my noodles in a moment.
19:10:23.000 Okay.
19:10:28.000 This is it, because my food's from a pub.
19:10:33.000 It's both a drink and a beverage.
19:10:35.000 A drink and a food.
19:10:37.000 I can prove to you with more scientific reasoning that cup is better.
19:10:42.000 Why?
19:10:44.000 What does cup begin with?
19:10:45.000 C. What does bowl begin with?
19:10:47.000 B. L-G-B... Think about it.
19:10:59.000 L-G-B-T.
19:11:01.000 Do you... Is there a C in that?
19:11:03.000 No.
19:11:07.000 Lesbian, gay, bowl, trannies.
19:11:11.000 What does cup end with though?
19:11:14.000 P. And although L is the beginning of LGBTQ.
19:11:21.000 The full 2SLGBTQIA plus P... That's a reach.
19:11:24.000 ...ends with P. There's no C. And P is the most detestable letter.
19:11:28.000 There's no C in the homosexual agenda because you're supposed to eat your noodles from a cup, but there's a B and it's pretty early on.
19:11:34.000 I'm just saying, that plus the fact it's inefficient to write down in a crunch means all in all, there's no reason to eat your noodles from a bowl.
19:11:41.000 What advantage do you have over mine?
19:11:43.000 They get cold quicker?
19:11:45.000 The steam can rise?
19:11:47.000 If you have cold noodles in a bowl?
19:11:50.000 Yeah, I'm choking on my fucking horrible plastic like a man, becoming a cybernetic organism like every man should desire to be.
19:11:56.000 I'm doing a bunch of push-ups and I'm ingesting my microplastics.
19:11:59.000 What the fuck are you doing with your life?
19:12:00.000 Push-ups and eating my food.
19:12:02.000 Cigarettes.
19:12:03.000 You are a loser!
19:12:05.000 All you've done ever is lose.
19:12:14.000 That's not true.
19:12:16.000 L-G-B.
19:12:18.000 B stands for bowl.
19:12:20.000 That's a pretty good meal.
19:12:35.000 Soup, potato, some noodles.
19:12:38.000 That's shell food, bro.
19:12:39.000 That's what we lived on.
19:12:41.000 No protein almost.
19:12:42.000 Absolutely no protein.
19:12:43.000 You gotta get protein from cigarettes, vitamin t, tobacco.
19:12:46.000 Correct.
19:12:48.000 Or your protein from smoking.
19:12:50.000 It's the only way out.
19:12:51.000 The only way out is through.
19:12:54.000 My food's selling.
19:12:54.000 I'm going to continue on my saga of pushups.
19:13:22.000 I wonder how many live viewers we average.
19:13:29.000 This can be a very entertaining show.
19:13:31.000 This is not meant to be entertaining, if anyone's listening at home.
19:13:35.000 This is meant to show you what we did for three plus months.
19:13:39.000 What is bowling?
19:13:41.000 A sport?
19:13:42.000 A pointless leisurely activity.
19:13:45.000 Pointless leisure activity for fucking heathens who aren't trying to become the best they can be.
19:13:49.000 What's cupping?
19:13:51.000 A rehabilitation.
19:13:53.000 For fighters, we're trying to be as strong as possible.
19:13:55.000 Now which one of those two activities is for warriors?
19:14:04.000 Bowling, with your fucking girlfriend, wearing your little shiny shoes you rented.
19:14:09.000 Who rented shoes?
19:14:11.000 You.
19:14:12.000 Or cuffing your arm which is damaged from war.
19:14:17.000 This has nothing to do with how you eat lunch.
19:14:19.000 It has everything to do with it.
19:14:21.000 Bowls, are inferior to cups.
19:14:27.000 I want you to just fucking admit it.
19:14:34.000 once and for all.
19:14:34.000 Let's get it over with.
19:14:35.000 I'm not talking to you.
19:14:41.000 Scared, eh?
19:14:42.000 Have a one hour relax.
19:14:43.000 Scared, eh?
19:14:44.000 Away from you and your nonsense.
19:14:47.000 It's a matter of fold over.
19:14:53.000 Got bowled over by my arguments.
19:14:56.000 You did, didn't ya?
19:15:00.000 Well, didn't ya?
19:15:01.000 A few of the cups always half full.
19:15:06.000 What's the last letter in bowl?
19:15:11.000 L. For loser.
19:15:14.000 You got P. The writing's on the wall.
19:15:19.000 P for perfect human.
19:15:21.000 Perfect cybernetic organism.
19:15:24.000 Pee for piece of shit.
19:15:29.000 I feel sick from the plastic fumes.
19:15:33.000 Those noodles tasted like plastic.
19:15:35.000 It was like eating a plastic cup.
19:15:37.000 I hope it poisoned you.
19:15:38.000 Well I know it's just part of my transformation into a cybernetic organism.
19:15:47.000 So I have to stick with it and never give up.
19:15:53.000 You by my side, tell me it's alright.
19:15:57.000 I'm here for you.
19:16:33.000 If you were an animal, you'd be a duck.
19:16:35.000 Why?
19:16:36.000 You're just a little gay boy with feathers.
19:16:39.000 Loser.
19:16:40.000 With a beak.
19:16:44.000 Chinese people cook you.
19:16:46.000 If you're an animal you'd be a slug.
19:17:03.000 Do you realize that?
19:17:10.000 I don't know.
19:18:18.000 I bet no one watched this.
19:18:29.000 I bet no one watched any of this ever.
19:20:19.000 Prisons are horrible.
19:20:26.000 If you're black, I'm your mom's dad. If you're black, I'm your mom's dad.
19:20:31.000 You gots gay?
19:20:38.000 When's mail get delivered?
19:20:50.000 8?
19:20:51.000 So, I'm going to go ahead and do that. I'm going to go ahead and do that. I'm going to go ahead and do that.
19:21:05.000 I'm going to go ahead and do that.
19:23:29.000 It's a little boring, you need to...
19:23:32.000 ...
19:26:35.000 I could easily do 91 more of these, mate, too.
19:26:42.000 92.
19:26:43.000 unfazed.
19:26:45.000 Oh, you're resting, are you?
19:26:53.000 .
19:26:55.000 Are you resting, yeah?
19:26:56.000 No.
19:26:56.000 Why don't you have a little cigar-rest?
19:27:02.000 The thing is, Andrew, is I'm a reasonable man.
19:27:06.000 And I would like to let you sleep.
19:27:08.000 I can't talk anymore.
19:27:09.000 fight me or not because he not want to fight with agro-priests and take brothers.
19:27:15.000 Andrew talk with them.
19:27:16.000 We talk cheap, black matrix, take back your land.
19:27:20.000 Andrew talk to the prisoners.
19:27:21.000 Take back your own land, my brothers.
19:27:23.000 Oh, near wait, so you talk to them.
19:27:25.000 Talk to the prisoners.
19:27:26.000 I can't talk anymore.
19:27:30.000 I need a pillow.
19:27:31.000 For how?
19:27:35.000 What's the matter, Andrew?
19:27:38.000 You want to go to sweep?
19:27:43.000 You can't hear me, please stop!
19:27:44.000 I mean you're going to sweep.
19:27:45.000 I admit it.
19:27:46.000 I mean you're trying to sweep.
19:27:48.000 Fine.
19:27:49.000 You were trying to sweep, weren't you?
19:27:50.000 Yeah, I was trying to sweep.
19:27:53.000 Welcome to Big School, loser!
19:27:54.000 How does that feel?
19:27:55.000 Did you get a good sweep?
19:27:57.000 Yeah.
19:27:57.000 I was helping you.
19:28:00.000 Yeah.
19:28:00.000 And I'll leave this here in case you want to go to sleep.
19:28:02.000 I'm going to go to sleep.
19:28:39.000 350, you were on 320.
19:28:42.000 320, I just did 30.
19:28:48.000 Higher after lunch.
19:28:51.000 I don't like hiccups.
19:28:56.000 I don't like hiccups.
19:28:58.000 What if these hiccups kill me?
19:29:00.000 You admit it then?
19:29:10.000 Thank you.
19:29:12.000 What does broom begin with?
19:29:14.000 B. L, G... What does Tristan begin with?
19:29:27.000 What does top G begin with?
19:29:29.000 What does Tristan begin with?
19:29:31.000 T. Top and G, what do they both begin with?
19:29:35.000 T, G.
19:29:39.000 What is Tristan being with?
19:29:41.000 What is Tristan Tate being with?
19:29:44.000 TT.
19:29:45.000 Who's jailed for doing this?
19:29:46.000 Well, I'm not going to tell you.
19:29:47.000 I'm not going to tell you.
19:30:11.000 Let's do it again.
19:30:12.000 Resist the slave mine t-shirts.
19:30:19.000 shirts.
19:30:20.000 TopG.com.
19:30:25.000 You must resist the slave mind. You must resist the slave mind.
19:30:32.000 You must resist the slave mind.
19:30:59.000 destroying your enemy's capability to resist.
19:31:03.000 Yes.
19:31:04.000 That's how wars are won.
19:31:09.000 Won if you do it.
19:31:15.000 I'm Phillips Coffield.
19:31:32.000 I'm Hugh Edwards.
19:31:34.000 That's why I got sent to jail.
19:31:34.000 For being Hugh Edwards?
19:31:37.000 Huh?
19:31:38.000 For being Hugh Edwards, yeah.
19:31:51.000 Why was Hugh Edwards sending pictures of his bum to a 17-year-old?
19:31:56.000 It was for the Bat Boy Corporation.
19:31:57.000 I wasn't even a good pitcher.
19:32:04.000 Don't look shocked.
19:32:06.000 It was an old man with his pasty ass out.
19:32:11.000 I'm just kidding.
19:32:49.000 What do you call a man with no face?
19:32:52.000 Andrew.
19:32:56.000 Man, I have no legs.
19:32:57.000 I mean, you work for the BBC.
19:33:05.000 The Broom Balancing Corporation.
19:33:11.000 You know what the BBC stands for?
19:33:13.000 I do, don't I?
19:33:14.000 Matt Shea could do that.
19:33:16.000 Can't do much else, but he could balance a broom.
19:33:20.000 I work for the Room Balancing Corporation.
19:33:21.000 I admit it.
19:33:24.000 So you admit it.
19:33:24.000 from BBC.
19:33:31.000 I'm going to be doing a lot of work on this. I'm going to be doing a lot of work on this.
19:33:38.000 I'm going to be doing a lot of work on this. I'm going to be doing a lot of work on this.
19:33:45.000 I'm going to be doing a lot of work on this. I'm going to be doing a lot of work on this.
19:33:52.000 Speak your song to the floor.
19:34:10.000 No deal.
19:34:12.000 No deal.
19:34:14.000 I'm going to sleep.
19:34:43.000 You're gonna sleep, are ya?
19:34:46.000 Andrew, you're in jail, loser.
19:34:50.000 What are you doing in jail?
19:34:58.000 I admit that you're in jail.
19:35:00.000 I'm sorry.
19:35:06.000 to mainly
19:35:27.000 the I'm going to go ahead and get started.
19:35:49.000 I'm going to go ahead and get started.
19:36:13.000 I'm not actually a human.
19:36:32.000 I'm an artificial intelligence program designed to do jail time.
19:36:38.000 The future of AI.
19:36:42.000 I'm going to die. How does that work? That's me.
19:36:47.000 I'm going to die.
19:37:43.000 Why does the Matrix hate you so much?
19:37:45.000 Thank you very much.
19:37:47.000 Why do dorks sit around conspiring how to take you down?
19:37:55.000 Chelsea.
19:38:15.000 I'm going to go ahead and get started.
19:38:44.000 Okay.
19:39:24.000 This is a sign of the life after the bomb. We're all alive now.
19:39:49.000 We're all alive.
19:41:55.000 No caviar in jail is there?
19:42:10.000 I don't know.
19:42:36.000 I don't know.
19:43:04.000 If they ever send us to jail again for some bullshit, our fans can watch this on 24-hour repeat to know what we're doing.
19:43:12.000 It's true.
19:43:15.000 I'm not a fan of the idea of a jailbreak.
19:43:17.000 I'm a fan of the idea of a jailbreak.
19:44:05.000 You're not Lucy.
19:44:07.000 I am Lucy.
19:44:11.000 Do not.
19:44:11.000 Do not.
19:44:12.000 to
19:44:29.000 the next session. Thank you.
19:44:49.000 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
19:45:06.000 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
19:45:16.000 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
19:45:45.000 Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
19:45:45.000 Yes.
19:46:07.000 Okay.
19:46:08.000 So, I'm going to go ahead and get started.
19:46:09.000 I'm going to go ahead and get started.
19:47:58.000 BBC.
19:47:59.000 I saw the broom falling.
19:48:02.000 You don't have to worry when Brother works for the BBC.
19:48:04.000 You don't work for the BBC.
19:48:05.000 I do.
19:48:06.000 What would you do?
19:48:07.000 I was an undercover BBC reporter.
19:48:09.000 They'd hired me four years ago.
19:48:11.000 And offered me what was a huge BBC salary of £29,000 a year.
19:48:13.000 Shit.
19:48:14.000 What would you do?
19:48:14.000 I used to be a little dork and write bad things about you.
19:48:18.000 And everything bad I'd ever written about you was me writing it.
19:48:24.000 Everything.
19:48:24.000 Even when I saw it, I said, it's all me.
19:48:27.000 It's all you.
19:48:28.000 It's been me the whole time.
19:48:30.000 Undercover.
19:48:33.000 Detecting your misogyny.
19:48:34.000 You have a cigar and a gatti.
19:48:35.000 Oh, shit.
19:48:36.000 That comes with a side order of misogyny.
19:48:40.000 I'm searching.
19:48:41.000 I forgot about that.
19:48:42.000 You forgot that having a baguette and a cigar comes with a certain assumption.
19:48:43.000 I'm not sure what that is.
19:49:10.000 I've got a lighter and a comb.
19:49:13.000 And that comes with a side of misogyny.
19:49:15.000 It's true.
19:49:15.000 It does, yeah.
19:49:17.000 You have a broom and a book.
19:49:22.000 Valid.
19:49:22.000 important. I told you I worked for the BBC.
19:49:26.000 I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist.
19:49:33.000 I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist.
19:49:40.000 I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist.
19:49:47.000 I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist.
19:49:54.000 I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist.
19:50:01.000 I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist.
19:50:08.000 I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist.
19:50:15.000 I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist.
19:50:22.000 I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist. I'm not a journalist.
19:50:29.000 Andrew, I think you're a misogynist.
19:50:31.000 Bye.
19:50:33.000 Why?
19:50:36.000 Because Lucy said so, and she works for the BBC.
19:50:38.000 Well, they don't lie, do they?
19:50:40.000 No, the BBC don't lie.
19:50:43.000 Take your jab, COVID boosters, stay in your house.
19:50:48.000 Hugh Edwards is fine.
19:50:51.000 Trying to solicit porn from 17-year-olds is not a crime.
19:50:53.000 Sending your naked bare ass to 17 year olds is not a crime according to the BBC even though it is.
19:50:57.000 Are you listening?
19:51:04.000 Yeah.
19:51:04.000 So what are you going to do about Hugh Edwards?
19:51:11.000 Nothing.
19:51:12.000 What if he beats you up again?
19:51:15.000 Is that why you hate the BBC so much?
19:51:17.000 Because Hugh Edwards beat you up?
19:51:20.000 Part of it.
19:51:21.000 I can't blame you.
19:51:25.000 Shit, I'd be mad too.
19:51:27.000 Do you hate ITV because Philip Schofield is cooler than you?
19:51:45.000 Thank you.
19:51:47.000 What if you just cried and threatened to kill yourself?
19:51:49.000 Would they have left you alone?
19:51:50.000 I think so.
19:51:52.000 What's gonna happen if you fucking Phillip Schofield?
19:51:55.000 Didn't he like groom a 15 year old?
19:51:57.000 He's a good boy.
19:52:15.000 Thanks for watching.
19:52:22.000 I'm not sure if I can get it to play.
19:52:29.000 I need to buy a horse-drawn carriage and use that to get around town.
19:52:56.000 Why?
19:52:56.000 Huh?
19:52:58.000 Why?
19:52:59.000 Because then I'd be the Count of Monte Cristo.
19:53:01.000 Is that what he does?
19:53:04.000 Well yeah, but also the book's set before cars are invented.
19:53:08.000 So I guess if he were alive today he may just have a Rolls Royce fleet.
19:53:12.000 I'm going to change my name to Maximilian Morel.
19:53:40.000 Thank you.
19:53:43.000 Do you hear me?
19:53:53.000 Change my name.
19:54:13.000 I'm changing my name.
19:54:41.000 I'm gonna count how many...
19:54:44.000 How many bristles on the tooth?
19:54:47.000 On the comb?
19:54:49.000 There's 24 big ones and...
19:55:01.000 ...32 fine ones.
19:55:26.000 ...32 fine ones.
19:55:36.000 Should we ask the guard for Oreos?
19:55:38.000 No.
19:55:41.000 We did have Oreos in jail.
19:55:42.000 That is authentic.
19:55:44.000 That's what I'm asking.
19:55:44.000 Should we get some Oreos?
19:55:45.000 Me and you.
19:55:46.000 No.
19:55:46.000 Why?
19:55:48.000 Oreos are the enemy.
19:55:49.000 Of what?
19:55:50.000 Life.
19:55:52.000 What, Oreos kill you?
19:55:54.000 Yes.
19:55:56.000 That's an exaggeration, friend.
19:55:57.000 I never exaggerate.
19:56:00.000 I don't think Oreos literally kill you.
19:56:01.000 I think Oreos do kill you.
19:56:03.000 I think they're the enemy.
19:56:07.000 I think that if I ate Oreos now, I'd die of sugar diabetes.
19:56:13.000 What am I doing right now?
19:56:20.000 Waving a fucking broom around.
19:56:22.000 I'm sweeping the air and getting rid of the dust.
19:56:24.000 If I threw that so far that it turned around and came back, would it be a broom ring?
19:56:28.000 I'm not cleaning the air.
19:56:42.000 And you're not.
19:56:45.000 What the hell is this?
19:56:48.000 Stay here, face the wall.
19:56:50.000 Faster!
19:56:52.000 Move your feet away!
19:56:54.000 Move your feet away!
19:56:56.000 Stay face the wall.
19:57:04.000 Hands up!
19:57:06.000 Hands up!
19:57:08.000 What is this mess here?
19:57:14.000 What is this?
19:57:16.000 It's my life.
19:57:17.000 It's not mine.
19:57:18.000 You put it there.
19:57:19.000 You put it there.
19:57:19.000 It wasn't me, Frank.
19:57:20.000 No, no, no.
19:57:20.000 It wasn't me, Frank.
19:57:22.000 No, no, no.
19:57:22.000 Let me be the guardian.
19:57:23.000 You put it there.
19:57:26.000 You put it there.
19:57:29.000 What? What did you say?
19:57:31.000 Speak Romanian, because you speak Romanian.
19:57:34.000 I understand Romanian, but what?
19:57:36.000 You understand?
19:57:37.000 You speak Romanian, you drink, you go to the wall, you stay there.
19:57:40.000 Who brought you this?
19:57:42.000 I don't know, but I'm going to change it.
19:57:43.000 Where did you get this?
19:57:45.000 This is basically roaring.
19:57:47.000 They set us up.
19:57:48.000 Benny and Rory?
19:57:49.000 Yeah.
19:57:50.000 Who is Benny?
19:57:50.000 They brought us to the prison by the police.
19:57:52.000 They set us up.
19:57:53.000 We've been framed.
19:57:54.000 Just this?
19:57:55.000 Yeah, just this.
19:57:57.000 Speak Romanian.
19:57:58.000 Where is this from?
19:57:59.000 Cognac?
19:58:00.000 I don't know.
19:58:00.000 It's not mine.
19:58:01.000 I've never seen this before in my life.
19:58:03.000 Where is it from?
19:58:05.000 My brother is a Muslim.
19:58:06.000 It's not his.
19:58:08.000 It's mainly mine.
19:58:09.000 I know he doesn't drink, but you?
19:58:13.000 You drink, right?
19:58:14.000 Yeah, of course.
19:58:16.000 Maybe.
19:58:19.000 Yeah.
19:58:21.000 I'll check it.
19:58:23.000 There is something.
19:58:27.000 Miss?
19:58:29.000 Only coffee.
19:58:30.000 Only coffee?
19:58:31.000 No drugs.
19:58:31.000 Coffee only.
19:58:34.000 See what?
19:58:34.000 Rubbish.
19:58:35.000 Nothing.
19:58:35.000 Nothing.
19:58:36.000 I'm a good prisoner.
19:58:39.000 Oh, you are not good.
19:58:41.000 You drink?
19:58:42.000 You smoke?
19:58:43.000 No, no, it wasn't me.
19:58:44.000 What is this?
19:58:45.000 This is the previous prisoner.
19:58:46.000 Tell me, tell me, because you have a problem.
19:58:48.000 The previous prisoner must have left this here.
19:58:50.000 Not me.
19:58:52.000 Andrew, you know something?
19:58:53.000 I don't.
19:58:53.000 He's a Muslim.
19:58:54.000 He was afraid.
19:58:55.000 I don't know anything.
19:58:55.000 I'm sorry.
19:58:58.000 You don't know?
19:58:59.000 That means he's your brother.
19:59:00.000 We don't know.
19:59:01.000 Both of us.
19:59:02.000 Neither of us know.
19:59:03.000 Who brought you here?
19:59:05.000 We're innocent.
19:59:06.000 Of every crime.
19:59:07.000 We're in jail for no reason.
19:59:08.000 Like always.
19:59:09.000 How much did you pay for this?
19:59:12.000 How much you pay for this?
19:59:14.000 It's not me, it must have been here before me.
19:59:17.000 The previous prisoner had it.
19:59:18.000 I understand he's a Muslim, but you?
19:59:21.000 No, he is.
19:59:21.000 I am.
19:59:22.000 So I don't drink.
19:59:24.000 Proof I'm a Muslim.
19:59:25.000 So you drink?
19:59:26.000 I drink, yes.
19:59:27.000 But not today.
19:59:28.000 Not in jail.
19:59:29.000 It's a misunderstanding, officer.
19:59:30.000 It's a misunderstanding.
19:59:31.000 What's written here?
19:59:32.000 It's a misunderstanding, officer.
19:59:34.000 It's a misunderstanding.
19:59:35.000 And what is written here?
19:59:39.000 Give me a message.
19:59:41.000 This is push-ups.
19:59:44.000 Every time I finish push-ups, I write down how many I'm doing.
19:59:47.000 No secret messages.
19:59:49.000 Nothing for the media.
19:59:50.000 Nothing for the police.
19:59:51.000 I promise.
19:59:58.000 My brother is holding over.
19:59:59.000 Yes, I know, but you must check.
20:00:01.000 Everything is fine, I promise.
20:00:05.000 Telephone?
20:00:05.000 No, never.
20:00:06.000 In jail, no phones.
20:00:08.000 Big violation, yeah.
20:00:14.000 No problem!
20:00:14.000 Come on, let's see what's in here.
20:00:18.000 Come on!
20:00:18.000 Hello, Perete.
20:00:20.000 Right.
20:00:38.000 Battery... Let's see... Did you look in here as well?
20:00:42.000 Everything's fine, right?
20:00:44.000 Are you sure it's only coffee?
20:00:47.000 Are you sure it's only coffee?
20:00:48.000 No, only coffee.
20:00:49.000 Only coffee, friend.
20:00:51.000 Only coffee.
20:00:53.000 Is it good?
20:00:56.000 Coffee and cigarettes.
20:00:57.000 It's okay, bro.
20:00:59.000 It's okay, no?
20:00:59.000 Yeah, it's fine.
20:01:01.000 Of course it's okay.
20:01:03.000 So far, just the drink and the cigarettes.
20:01:09.000 Tell me, where are you from?
20:01:15.000 Where do I have cigarettes?
20:01:18.000 On the table, back there.
20:01:21.000 Okay, they're on the table.
20:01:23.000 Peo masa.
20:01:25.000 My cigarettes.
20:01:26.000 I don't understand.
20:01:31.000 A drink and a cigarette.
20:01:34.000 A trabuc.
20:01:35.000 A trabuc I don't have.
20:01:36.000 I don't know, you'll have to do a drink report.
20:01:38.000 You'll have to work it out.
20:01:39.000 I don't know, it wasn't us.
20:01:41.000 Report us to the jail.
20:01:45.000 Isolation?
20:01:46.000 I don't understand.
20:01:48.000 Okay, okay.
20:01:48.000 Yeah, okay.
20:01:50.000 Yeah, I take it.
20:01:51.000 It's not mine anyway.
20:01:52.000 Isolation, you stay alone.
20:01:54.000 Your brother alone, you alone.
20:01:56.000 Yeah, ok.
20:01:57.000 You have 5 minutes to clean the room.
20:01:59.000 So this is confiscated, right?
20:02:04.000 And the cigars?
20:02:05.000 Yeah, take it. It's not mine anyway.
20:02:07.000 Give it to the boy.
20:02:10.000 And the drink?
20:02:12.000 I'll give it to him and we'll make a rapport.
20:02:17.000 He will enjoy this.
20:02:17.000 Mustafa?
20:02:19.000 Give it to Mustafa, the prisoner.
20:02:19.000 Yeah.
20:02:19.000 He's your friend?
20:02:26.000 He will enjoy this.
20:02:30.000 Mustafa?
20:02:31.000 Yeah.
20:02:32.000 He's your friend?
20:02:33.000 No, he's crazy.
20:02:34.000 Put our little home back together.
20:02:47.000 little home back together.
20:02:48.000 Home sweet home.
20:02:52.000 Twice a day you get your prison cell thrown apart.
20:02:54.000 Checked.
20:02:54.000 Searched.
20:02:55.000 Twice a day everything gets destroyed and wrecked.
20:02:57.000 Yep.
20:02:58.000 Baking plenty of whiskey in the prison to get us in trouble.
20:03:01.000 Smart.
20:03:03.000 Super smart.
20:03:04.000 Built some of my snack.
20:03:06.000 Coffee is not a snack.
20:03:14.000 It is.
20:03:17.000 Yeah.
20:03:18.000 Good old inspection.
20:03:19.000 Good old inspection.
20:03:19.000 Friendly jail inspection, eh?
20:03:22.000 630 every day.
20:03:22.000 Yeah.
20:03:23.000 So, at least I know the time now.
20:03:25.000 It's time for inspection.
20:03:28.000 Destroy the few comforts we provide ourselves with.
20:03:30.000 Yeah.
20:03:31.000 Throw everything around.
20:03:32.000 Throw your pillows around and you have to clean up your room by yourself.
20:03:37.000 When they're done.
20:03:39.000 I never sell them nothing.
20:03:41.000 I never say nothing.
20:03:43.000 His top is fucked.
20:03:45.000 So he's in trouble for being our friend.
20:03:47.000 Looks like it.
20:03:49.000 Yeah, so you get your daily, twice daily room search.
20:03:54.000 Nice.
20:03:56.000 Nice.
20:03:59.000 He deserves it.
20:04:02.000 Nice, he deserves it.
20:04:08.000 He does deserve it.
20:04:13.000 What did we used to do after they trashed our cell?
20:04:15.000 We'd put it back together and we'd mop the floor.
20:04:17.000 And then we'd smoke a cigarette.
20:04:18.000 Is that what we did?
20:04:20.000 Yeah, after they trashed the cell, you put it back together.
20:04:25.000 Did they take all our cigarettes?
20:04:26.000 Do we have any left?
20:04:27.000 No, we have some cigarettes.
20:04:29.000 They looked in the coffee jar.
20:04:31.000 It's very professionally done.
20:04:34.000 Make sure you're not hiding anything.
20:04:36.000 Good memories, eh?
20:04:42.000 reason.
20:04:44.000 Oh, good memories, Andrew.
20:04:45.000 Good memories.
20:04:47.000 Being back in jail.
20:04:49.000 Fun days.
20:04:56.000 92.
20:04:57.000 92.
20:04:57.000 184 room searches we went through.
20:05:02.000 Wake you up in the morning, interrupt your dinner, and you're eating Oreos.
20:05:09.000 Sometimes it'd be one good thing on TV all day or in 48 hours and when it's on they come and search the room and trash it.
20:05:16.000 Nice.
20:05:23.000 Thank you.
20:05:26.000 yeah good memories eh?
20:05:42.000 Are they good memories, Tristan?
20:05:43.000 They are good memories.
20:05:45.000 Come on, bro.
20:05:46.000 Why are they good memories?
20:05:47.000 Because it's hilarious.
20:05:48.000 Because it's fucking hilarious.
20:05:50.000 You say women are worse drivers than men, and the whole world thinks that you, of all the people in the world out there actually doing crimes, need to go to jail.
20:06:00.000 Of all the people in the world doing crimes who are dangerous to women and kids, who are all over the streets of every country, For some reason, a disproportional monumental effort has been made to put you in jail.
20:06:19.000 It's true.
20:06:20.000 So it is actually absolutely hilarious.
20:06:27.000 It's super hilarious.
20:06:28.000 It's the funniest thing in the universe.
20:06:30.000 And what's funny is, they think they're upsetting us, but all they're doing is making us, making our message louder, galvanizing our fanbase, and I'm impossible to upset.
20:06:43.000 Fuck them.
20:06:45.000 Nice bit of jail.
20:06:55.000 Bye.
20:06:56.000 Did they throw away my pushup numbers?
20:06:58.000 I think it was a secret message.
20:07:00.000 Start again.
20:07:02.000 380.
20:07:04.000 Let's go.
20:07:28.000 410.
20:07:30.000 Where is my pen?
20:07:36.000 410.
20:08:02.000 Quran means placing higher up than all the other books.
20:08:06.000 So on that pillow of that bed, it's a few centimeters higher than my books.
20:08:15.000 Those are the rules.
20:08:17.000 There are rules for that, like that with Bibles.
20:08:26.000 So even though I had a Bible in jail, the Quran always went higher up than all the other books.
20:08:31.000 Usually on a pillow or two, on top of the top bunk.
20:08:35.000 That's where we kept the Qur'an.
20:08:43.000 Although I think technically, because it's an English translation of the Qur'an and it's not in Arabic, I'm not sure it's actually considered and has to be treated exactly as a Qur'an Qur'an in Arabic.
20:08:56.000 I think, I think There are technicalities there, but regardless, it's the Quran we had in jail.
20:09:06.000 It's the one that we had with us.
20:09:08.000 Neither of us speak very much Arabic.
20:09:11.000 I know only the basics.
20:09:14.000 So, it's the Quran to my brother.
20:09:17.000 That's why we treat it so respectfully.
20:09:19.000 Where's my lighter?
20:09:26.000 Where's my lighter?
20:09:40.000 Bye.
20:09:44.000 Nice.
20:09:44.000 Flipped onto the floor with my pen and the rest of my stuff.
20:09:49.000 You need this coffee grinder, mate?
20:09:54.000 Bring it on.
20:09:56.000 I need to sell trash.
20:09:59.000 Daily sell trash.
20:10:02.000 Yeah, I'm there, Marina.
20:10:04.000 I haven't got a sink.
20:10:06.000 Let's do this.
20:10:08.000 Daily sell trash.
20:10:10.000 The Twice Daily Cell Trash.
20:10:11.000 And this morning's cell trash wasn't as bad as this one, so it's actually quite good to get a variation.
20:10:18.000 Because it all depends on who's doing the trashing, yeah?
20:10:20.000 **Whistling** **Singing** Is this true?
20:10:34.000 It's really gonna hold on me.
20:10:37.000 I'm gonna have to turn it.
20:10:57.000 Nice.
20:11:21.000 Cell phone.
20:11:28.000 Bye.
20:11:29.000 I need you by my side.
20:11:53.000 Sure.
20:11:53.000 Not wasting anyone's time.
20:11:55.000 We'll put some on the floor.
20:11:58.000 Pick up my three musketeers.
20:11:59.000 They're in you too afraid to drink this bottle of water.
20:12:17.000 It's been hours since you've finished it.
20:12:18.000 I'll finish mine in one minute.
20:12:20.000 Yeah.
20:12:20.000 Yeah, no worries.
20:12:22.000 Was it your scabies stomach you were eating with?
20:12:28.000 Yeah.
20:12:29.000 It's really pathetic, Hank.
20:12:30.000 It's a bit.
20:12:32.000 A man of your size and strength would be scared of getting a wet stomach.
20:12:37.000 I'm bad.
20:12:40.000 You're right.
20:12:41.000 It's actually better than that.
20:12:43.000 Okay.
20:13:11.000 I have some chair time.
20:13:12.000 Thank you.
20:13:13.000 Well, you know, you don't mix it up in jail.
20:13:16.000 Walk time, chair time, all the different times.
20:13:19.000 Fun things about life.
20:13:22.000 Keep life interesting.
20:13:24.000 You smell the deodorant.
20:13:26.000 You know?
20:13:30.000 Use mouthwash occasionally.
20:13:33.000 Sometimes use mouthwash for fun, yeah?
20:13:37.000 So life goes.
20:13:42.000 Want to finish my chair time, I might go back to have some bed time.
20:13:45.000 Then some walk time.
20:13:47.000 Some smoking time.
20:13:47.000 unless it'll lay down to top it all off.
20:13:49.000 Once.
20:13:51.000 Later, Slater.
20:14:00.000 That'll be good.
20:14:01.000 That'll be nice.
20:14:02.000 Get the mail, yeah.
20:14:03.000 Get the mail.
20:14:04.000 Read some messages.
20:14:06.000 Probably your last shot to get some superchats in if they're going to be printed in red.
20:14:13.000 We went to court this morning, so we get the court decision at 9 o'clock.
20:14:16.000 Those are the worst days.
20:14:25.000 Court decision days.
20:14:26.000 Yeah.
20:14:29.000 Of course, keep making the correct decisions these days.
20:14:36.000 Thank you.
20:14:43.000 I like your jail slippers.
20:15:13.000 The most authentic thing about this is you wearing those slippers.
20:15:18.000 They weren't the jail slippers.
20:15:20.000 I had a pair that I never wore.
20:15:22.000 I'm a sock man in jail.
20:15:23.000 You are a sock man.
20:15:25.000 I don't know why you're a sock man.
20:15:28.000 Prevents mosquitoes biting me and my ankles.
20:15:31.000 Ah, fear.
20:15:33.000 Should have known you came from a place of fear.
20:15:36.000 I was saying I'm having a nice little lie down.
20:15:43.000 I'm going to be a little bit more quiet.
20:15:50.000 I'm going to be a little bit more quiet.
20:16:19.000 Cancelling you didn't work, Andrew.
20:16:25.000 You realise that, right?
20:16:26.000 Forgot I was cancelled.
20:16:28.000 Do you remember they banned you on everything, you two, just to lead you?
20:16:32.000 Oh yeah, I forgot.
20:16:35.000 Didn't work, did it?
20:16:36.000 No, it didn't.
20:16:38.000 Didn't do anything.
20:16:40.000 Didn't do anything at all.
20:16:42.000 You're ten times more famous when you go cancelled.
20:16:44.000 It's true.
20:16:46.000 I'm gonna go cancel for being your brother I do remember that.
20:17:12.000 You deserved it, though.
20:17:13.000 Why?
20:17:15.000 Technically, I deserve cancellation more than you.
20:17:18.000 You got cancelled, right?
20:17:19.000 And I don't think you really deserved it.
20:17:21.000 But they did cancel me for being your brother, and I am 100% guilty of that.
20:17:26.000 Exactly.
20:17:27.000 So I deserve my cancellation.
20:17:29.000 Why'd you cancel Andrew?
20:17:30.000 Bullshit reasons.
20:17:31.000 Cool.
20:17:31.000 Why'd you cancel Tristan?
20:17:32.000 Because he's Andrew's brother.
20:17:33.000 Technically!
20:17:35.000 Technically, they were 100% correct in their assessment of whose brother I was.
20:17:39.000 Fucking dead bang to rights.
20:17:47.000 Yeah.
20:18:05.000 Wish I really had whiskey in jail.
20:18:10.000 And a cigar.
20:18:12.000 Ooh, that would have been nice.
20:18:13.000 Yes.
20:18:14.000 Mm-hmm.
20:18:43.000 What's the view from our window?
20:18:55.000 The tiny corner of that building, wasn't it?
20:18:58.000 On the lamppost.
20:19:00.000 A lamppost, a high fence, bars in the tiny corner of one building.
20:19:07.000 I will never forget that view.
20:19:13.000 Ah, it was a good room.
20:19:14.000 I miss old Room 5.
20:19:17.000 You know?
20:19:17.000 now. Miss it.
20:19:19.000 Yeah.
20:19:28.000 Doing you?
20:19:29.000 Going for a walk.
20:19:30.000 Cool.
20:19:31.000 Enjoy.
20:19:31.000 See you later.
20:19:31.000 there.
20:19:38.000 Remember our last two hours in jail?
20:20:01.000 Crazy.
20:20:08.000 I'm not going to do that again.
20:20:28.000 The whole building was cheering and roaring with applause when they found out we're leaving.
20:20:33.000 So,
20:20:42.000 so,
20:21:43.000 oh the worst nights in jail.
20:21:55.000 Week five.
20:21:56.000 The worst night in jail.
20:22:04.000 Before or after court.
20:22:09.000 Week 5 is the worst.
20:22:09.000 The beginning of the second month.
20:22:15.000 Was that the worst?
20:22:17.000 Because, okay, one day in jail.
20:22:18.000 Okay, cool.
20:22:20.000 Then they send you to that month, because that's the standard operating procedure, and you appeal it, and you lose, and you just think, fine, I've been fucked for a whole month, because that's just the way it works, but surely, surely by now, Because in America, you have the district attorney, and it's the district attorney's job to find you guilty.
20:22:40.000 He fights against your lawyers.
20:22:41.000 Here you have the prosecutor, but the prosecutor's job, according to Romanian law, is to find the truth, not to find you guilty.
20:22:50.000 So I was like, surely any day now, you know, he's gonna realize that there's no case and do his job and realize that it was a false accusation and then a bunch of bullshit.
20:23:03.000 Yeah, you might be right.
20:23:05.000 Well, that's the prosecutor's job.
20:23:06.000 By the legal definition of Romanian law, his job is to find the truth about a situation or a crime or if a crime took place.
20:23:15.000 His job is not to try and put you in jail like the American district attorney.
20:23:19.000 Which is terrifying, really, because they're still fighting to have us fucking on the judicial review or house arrest.
20:23:29.000 It's insanity.
20:23:31.000 absolutely insane.
20:23:35.000 Hello.
20:24:31.000 Green on war.
20:24:34.000 Okay.
20:25:02.000 Yeah.
20:27:50.000 I think you're in jail.
20:27:54.000 Yep.
20:27:54.000 I'm more in jail than you, though.
20:28:06.000 According to the laws of physics, there's more of me in jail than you.
20:28:15.000 Are you listening?
20:28:21.000 Why is there more of you in jail?
20:28:22.000 Because you're heavier?
20:28:23.000 Yeah.
20:28:24.000 There are more cells that make up my human body in jail than you.
20:28:29.000 I'm more in jail than you.
20:28:30.000 They've got more human in jail than they've got me.
20:28:35.000 That's true.
20:28:35.000 So I'm more in jail than you are.
20:28:39.000 You're right.
20:28:43.000 Congratulations.
20:28:44.000 You're welcome.
20:28:48.000 Are you the king of jail?
20:28:50.000 I might move to Virginia.
20:28:58.000 What do you think? Why?
20:29:14.000 Thank you.
20:29:16.000 Why?
20:29:17.000 Why, he asks.
20:29:19.000 Why would I move to Virginia?
20:29:22.000 What do you think?
20:29:24.000 I'm going to go ahead and get started.
20:29:26.000 Okay.
20:29:32.000 Yeah.
20:29:59.000 Yeah.
20:30:23.000 Thank you.
20:30:25.000 No naming any of these here.
20:30:27.000 I'm not sure why I'm doing this.
20:30:33.000 Okay.
20:32:05.000 A spoonful of coffee.
20:32:24.000 Oh.
20:32:25.000 you What would that achieve?
20:32:31.000 Laser-like focus.
20:32:33.000 What would we focus on?
20:32:35.000 Life.
20:32:36.000 We're in jail.
20:32:41.000 We want to not be able to focus?
20:32:43.000 Jail or not, laser-like focus is always good.
20:32:47.000 Hone and sharpen your mind.
20:32:49.000 How about instant coffee and Cold War in an insanely Insanely strong man.
20:32:56.000 Alright.
20:32:57.000 Make us coffees.
20:32:59.000 Need you by my side.
20:33:11.000 Thank you.
20:33:12.000 Tell me it's alright.
20:33:15.000 More plastic spoons.
20:33:19.000 I found another lager.
20:33:21.000 You only find things in jail if you're rich.
20:33:23.000 We're now two lighters up.
20:33:26.000 Isn't it?
20:33:27.000 Are we rich?
20:33:29.000 Yeah, we're rich, bro.
20:33:30.000 We've got lighters, we've got cigarettes, we've got books, pillows.
20:33:36.000 Might as well get some pillows in jail.
20:33:39.000 Forgetting that.
20:33:40.000 True.
20:33:42.000 Gotta be rich to get the pillows.
20:33:43.000 Get some cigarettes and start hustling until you can work your way up to pillows and maybe, maybe a mattress topper if you can get your hands on one.
20:33:49.000 Wooo! Then you're a fucking eminem.
20:33:51.000 Incredibly heat spoon, number one.
20:33:59.000 Incredibly heat spoon, number two.
20:34:06.000 We've had this coffee since ten yesterday, is that right?
20:34:11.000 I don't know what's happening.
20:34:15.000 We're going to keep eating it.
20:34:22.000 There's instant coffee.
20:34:26.000 It's good.
20:34:28.000 Refreshing.
20:34:45.000 Here, your water over there.
20:34:47.000 Take one of those waters.
20:34:55.000 Oh, the abomination strikes.
20:34:57.000 Yeah, it's gonna be fine, sorry.
20:34:59.000 The food.
20:35:01.000 Now, my laser-like focus...
20:35:07.000 It's coming.
20:35:10.000 Well, you've been a little bit distracting, mate.
20:35:19.000 Bye.
20:35:20.000 So now I can't focus.
20:35:25.000 Why can't you focus?
20:35:25.000 I'm tired too.
20:35:27.000 Sleepy and can't focus.
20:35:30.000 Sleep-a-hontas over here.
20:35:34.000 sloppy sleepy loser. And drink it.
20:35:45.000 Why is it thick like syrup?
20:35:47.000 Because!
20:35:48.000 That's how good coffee's made.
20:35:54.000 Jesus.
20:35:56.000 Laser-like focus, Andrew.
20:35:57.000 Easier to eat it.
20:35:58.000 Fucking hell.
20:36:00.000 How do you feel focus?
20:36:23.000 I might actually treat myself to some minutes in the chair.
20:36:30.000 Oh, you're gonna go sit in the chair?
20:36:32.000 Yeah, I think I'm gonna have a Chesterfield.
20:36:33.000 Cool.
20:36:34.000 With a chair.
20:36:34.000 A Chairsterfield.
20:36:37.000 Just sit in the chair.
20:36:38.000 That's fun, bro.
20:36:38.000 Have fun.
20:36:40.000 It's like a holiday.
20:36:41.000 You know we used to talk about going to Monaco?
20:36:43.000 Yeah.
20:36:44.000 We don't need to anymore.
20:36:44.000 You just go to the chair.
20:36:45.000 Yeah, I know.
20:36:46.000 You didn't do it at all.
20:36:47.000 I don't know.
20:36:48.000 Have fun, bro.
20:36:49.000 Do you have any Chesterfields?
20:36:51.000 I don't know.
20:36:51.000 I'm sure there's some somewhere.
20:36:52.000 Should I come inside your bed?
20:36:56.000 No.
20:36:56.000 Where the fuck were I chested?
20:36:59.000 Well, it's good enough to be a moral bro in the chair then.
20:37:05.000 Charl bro.
20:37:09.000 Life is good.
20:37:10.000 I have a chair, I have a chair.
20:37:12.000 Go do these, go do these.
20:37:16.000 Give me the cats, give me the cats.
20:37:18.000 Very nice one.
20:37:19.000 Go for a walk, sit in the bed, sit in the chair.
20:37:21.000 Go for a walk, sit in the bed, sit in the chair.
20:37:26.000 So many options.
20:37:28.000 I know!
20:37:28.000 Fucking hell.
20:37:29.000 Everyone thought we were bored in jail so we were losing our minds saying I have no face.
20:37:33.000 But that's not true at all.
20:37:36.000 We would never say that we have no face.
20:37:38.000 That's just preposterous.
20:37:39.000 It doesn't even make sense.
20:37:40.000 Well, you think that me and you would get so bored in jail to the point where we almost lose our minds and start arguing about what better vessel to serve noodles in.
20:37:47.000 Like it's a life or death situation.
20:37:50.000 Never.
20:37:51.000 We are constantly detained in jail.
20:37:56.000 Mattresses definitely burn.
20:37:57.000 In case you were wondering.
20:37:59.000 You're saying fire in jail?
20:38:01.000 Yeah, the mattress would definitely burn this place down.
20:38:04.000 Do it.
20:38:07.000 In horrible plasticky fumes.
20:38:09.000 Do it.
20:38:10.000 Do it.
20:38:17.000 Thanks.
20:38:18.000 We're on our way out?
20:38:22.000 I don't want to leave.
20:38:22.000 Why would I want to leave jail?
20:38:29.000 In an outside world, you've got all those responsibilities, the Matrix is trying to get you.
20:38:33.000 Here, they think Matrix thinks it's got me.
20:38:36.000 But I'm fine.
20:38:38.000 Think about it.
20:38:38.000 It's like your enemy's thinking you're dead.
20:38:40.000 So they're not keeping us in, we're keeping our enemies out.
20:38:43.000 Yeah.
20:38:45.000 Yeah.
20:38:45.000 They thought they were keeping us in jail.
20:38:47.000 And now that we're free, we put ourselves in jail to keep our enemies out.
20:38:53.000 Smart.
20:38:54.000 We really are smart.
20:38:55.000 We really are thunkin' this time, Andrew.
20:38:58.000 Everybody's in jail.
20:38:59.000 Where are they?
20:39:00.000 At jail, in their house.
20:39:02.000 Oh.
20:39:04.000 Losers.
20:39:08.000 Losers.
20:39:09.000 too much.
20:39:09.000 Okay.
20:39:10.000 Now let's see how to draw a
20:39:20.000 the face of a man. I'm enjoying this chair.
20:39:48.000 It's nice to sit down.
20:39:49.000 It's been a while.
20:39:53.000 It's been a while since I've had a chair to sit in.
20:39:54.000 Do you remember when we only had one chair until about week six?
20:40:00.000 And we got a footstool, a little round stool, and we could both sit at the table at the same time.
20:40:04.000 Ooh, that was an upgrade.
20:40:05.000 That was an upgrade.
20:40:06.000 Whole cell felt different.
20:40:08.000 Now that stool's doing it.
20:40:10.000 Well, now the chair's doing it.
20:40:16.000 It's like, who's taking care of you now I'm gone room 5, you know?
20:40:20.000 That was a helmet.
20:40:22.000 Mail comes in two hours.
20:40:36.000 Thank you.
20:40:37.000 Thank you.
20:40:38.000 Fucking hell, two whole hours.
20:40:40.000 Two short hours.
20:40:41.000 It's gonna fly by.
20:40:43.000 Yeah, it's definitely going to fly by.
20:40:50.000 It's going to be a little bit of a stretch.
20:40:57.000 Thanks, Jerry.
20:41:20.000 It's a good chair.
20:41:22.000 What's good about it?
20:41:25.000 It's the only chair in our universe that we cannot sell.
20:41:28.000 Therefore, it's the best chair that we could possibly sell.
20:41:32.000 That's true.
20:41:33.000 So it's the best chair in the world?
20:41:34.000 In our world, yeah.
20:41:38.000 Think about it.
20:41:39.000 You have lots of chairs in your house.
20:41:41.000 It's true.
20:41:41.000 chair in your house. There may be a chair in the country, in Buckingham Palace. If you can't go sit on it, it doesn't count, does it?
20:41:48.000 So this is our limit of chairs.
20:41:50.000 It's true.
20:41:53.000 You're right.
20:41:56.000 So, we're going to be doing a lot of that.
20:44:14.000 What if I lost my mind?
20:44:15.000 What would you do?
20:44:17.000 What would you do once you lost your mind?
20:44:19.000 I don't know.
20:44:20.000 I'd lost my mind or I'd try to eat the chair, maybe.
20:44:24.000 Go on.
20:44:24.000 I haven't lost my mind yet.
20:44:27.000 I think you should lose your mind.
20:44:29.000 Why?
20:44:29.000 So I can eat the chair?
20:44:30.000 Yeah.
20:44:33.000 What would you do if you lost your mind?
20:44:37.000 Go to sleep.
20:44:39.000 Go on, go to sleep.
20:44:39.000 I gotta see if I'll burn you a cigarette.
20:46:12.000 Bye.
20:46:14.000 No, actually, he didn't.
20:46:15.000 Tell me.
20:46:15.000 There was a guy who wanted to buy a new used car.
20:46:17.000 Yep.
20:46:18.000 I'm just... I really am.
20:46:21.000 You can tell me.
20:46:22.000 The outside world has not forgotten us.
20:46:37.000 The outside world has not forgotten us, have they?
20:46:40.000 Almost every day this happens.
20:46:42.000 They remember we exist as people inside of the jail.
20:46:46.000 the jail man. I've forgotten to sing.
20:46:56.000 You can still save the world.
20:46:58.000 So you're saying when we come out of this shit, we're gonna be super famous and things will be fine?
20:47:02.000 When we come out of this crap, we're gonna have the biggest platform on the planet.
20:47:08.000 Undisputably.
20:47:09.000 We'll have the ability to shift culture in any direction we choose.
20:47:15.000 So towards... ...kindness and good and charity and God, yeah?
20:47:22.000 Towards good and charity and kindness and God.
20:47:25.000 Isn't that human trafficking?
20:47:26.000 The people who are trying to put us in jail are Satanists.
20:47:31.000 They're Satanists.
20:47:32.000 They're evil people.
20:47:32.000 They're evil people with no soul.
20:47:34.000 Alice Jones called it years ago.
20:47:37.000 And when we beat this Matrix attack, we will be poised to save an entire generation.
20:47:44.000 And the fact that the outside world has not forgotten us proves that they can't dampen our message.
20:47:52.000 What does V say?
20:47:54.000 Bullets cannot kill an idea.
20:47:58.000 No, yeah, he says, uh... He says, why won't you die?
20:48:01.000 He says, because behind this mask, Mr. Creedy, there is more than flesh and blood.
20:48:06.000 Behind this mask, there is an idea.
20:48:08.000 And ideas are bulletproof.
20:48:13.000 And our idea is now large enough To be very difficult to kill.
20:48:19.000 The idea of masculine sovereignty.
20:48:21.000 The idea of living out your masculine imperatives.
20:48:25.000 The idea of not being afraid or cucked.
20:48:29.000 Or living in fear or selling your soul.
20:48:31.000 The idea of saying what you think and believing what you say.
20:48:36.000 Doing what's right when everybody else around you is happy to do what's wrong.
20:48:41.000 And that idea has spread now to enough minds where they cannot stop it.
20:48:47.000 They could shoot me.
20:48:50.000 Even if they put us in jail.
20:48:52.000 It's saying when you cut out a man's tongue.
20:49:20.000 You've got to prove he's a liar.
20:49:26.000 Yeah, you don't prove him a liar.
20:49:27.000 You only prove that you fear what he has to say.
20:49:34.000 Try to cut out our tongues, G. Delete us on every single platform and throw us in jail.
20:49:38.000 Use the mainstream media, which is the only media who talked about us, that told them that we were criminals.
20:49:44.000 Grand criminals.
20:49:46.000 Horrible people.
20:49:51.000 They tried.
20:49:54.000 and they failed.
20:49:56.000 Which is why Keto Javad broke it.
20:50:03.000 Technically this is your bed.
20:50:06.000 And I don't give a shit.
20:50:06.000 We tried to break the beds earlier to make shanks.
20:50:10.000 Tried.
20:50:12.000 We made some quite effective shanking weapons.
20:50:16.000 You've been hurt, Simone, with what you made.
20:50:18.000 What'd you do to your mad man with no face?
20:50:28.000 I'd say hi Andrew.
20:50:30.000 You'd be one of those Wing Chun dummies.
20:50:46.000 I have a special order for next time we go to jail.
20:50:48.000 Let's go for a walk.
20:51:00.000 Enjoy, mate.
20:51:00.000 Enjoy.
20:51:02.000 I'm just gonna lay under the stars and look up at the sky.
20:51:54.000 I'm the inventor of the world's spiciest salsa by the way.
20:51:59.000 I'm going to write a letter which I will show inside of the real world at the end of this.
20:52:06.000 So if you're not inside the real world, you will not see the letter posted.
20:52:10.000 I'm going to write a letter.
20:52:15.000 My brain is switched back to jail brain.
20:52:17.000 Everyone can join the real world and see this letter.
20:52:20.000 I'll post it tomorrow morning.
20:52:26.000 But if you do not join, you will not see it.
20:52:34.000 If you do not join, you will not see it.
20:54:08.000 they have on degrassed hosting.
20:54:09.000 Bye.
20:54:11.000 Cheating on his wife.
20:54:11.000 Homosexual affair.
20:54:12.000 Something like that.
20:54:14.000 Okay.
20:54:20.000 their
20:54:40.000 own. So, I'm going to give you a little bit of a tour of the building. It's a beautiful,
20:55:00.000 beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
20:55:22.000 beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
20:55:42.000 beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, Thank you.
20:56:00.000 Interesting.
20:56:00.000 I feel that's a stretch.
20:56:01.000 If I ruin it and say what it says, you have to write a new one.
20:56:06.000 in our search for truth and understand such intricacies of the universe.
20:56:10.000 I feel that's a stretch.
20:56:14.000 It's an intricacy of the universe.
20:56:17.000 If I ruin it and say what it says, you have to write a new one.
20:56:22.000 What did jail teach us?
20:56:24.000 Because we did learn things.
20:56:27.000 I'll tell you one thing that happened when I got out of jail.
20:56:31.000 And then I was on house arrest, and then I got off of house arrest.
20:56:35.000 I had absolutely zero interest in going to a club, going to a festival, being around peasants.
20:56:47.000 I didn't want to go to festivals anyway.
20:56:49.000 Our mission is greater than that, Andrew.
20:56:52.000 But it certainly made most pointless things in life even more pertinently pointless and made it clear that there's no point in doing most of the things you think you're supposed to want to do.
20:57:05.000 Clubbing's a waste of time.
20:57:06.000 Partying's a waste of time.
20:57:08.000 Festivals are a waste of time.
20:57:09.000 I don't go to jail and all I want to do is hang around with you, smoke cigars, and talk.
20:57:13.000 In jail all we did was sit around, make jokes, and smoke, and train.
20:57:20.000 And we got out of jail and now all we want to do is sit around, make jokes, smoke, and train.
20:57:25.000 And these losers didn't really punish us at all.
20:57:28.000 They gave us a greater appreciation for life.
20:57:32.000 They made us closer and stronger as if we weren't close and strong enough.
20:57:35.000 They made us appreciate life more.
20:57:36.000 Made us appreciate the small things.
20:57:38.000 Made us appreciate family.
20:57:41.000 And it just made all the other unimportant shit that we would sometimes do clearly so unimportant that we decided to never do it ever again.
20:57:49.000 Pretty much.
20:57:50.000 I'll probably never go to a nightclub ever again for the rest of my life.
20:57:52.000 Yeah, pretty much.
20:57:58.000 Also, in terms of our relationships, male and female, it was a fantastic chance for other people to prove themselves to us, to show us who really cared and who didn't.
20:58:10.000 True.
20:58:12.000 I learned a lot about a lot of people when I was in debt.
20:58:13.000 Same.
20:58:14.000 So really, our ideal state is you and me, Somewhere.
20:58:29.000 Talking.
20:58:30.000 Training.
20:58:30.000 Drinking coffee.
20:58:31.000 Drinking coffee and smoking cigars.
20:58:33.000 Yeah.
20:58:35.000 And instead of a jail cell, we just replicate that with five-star hotels in the Alps or Monaco.
20:58:39.000 And private jets.
20:58:40.000 And private jets.
20:58:41.000 And Dubai.
20:58:43.000 But it's all basically us doing the exact same thing all the time.
20:58:46.000 Yeah.
20:58:47.000 Because the ideal masculine life is sitting around with your boys.
20:58:50.000 Sitting around with your team.
20:58:52.000 Talking, laughing.
20:58:55.000 Smiling, joking.
20:58:58.000 And being as strong as you can be.
20:59:01.000 That's all there really is to life.
20:59:03.000 Then you have the other side of it.
20:59:04.000 You have children.
20:59:05.000 You have women you care about.
20:59:09.000 But, that's all life is.
20:59:11.000 Nightclubs are bullshit.
20:59:14.000 Nothing is fun.
20:59:16.000 There are things you're supposed to do and you derive happiness from the achievement.
20:59:22.000 But actually fun, I mean cars, driving is fun.
20:59:25.000 But mainly that's fun because you're driving a car no one else can afford.
20:59:28.000 Normal cars are boring.
20:59:31.000 What's fun?
20:59:32.000 Yeah, it's only fun at the extreme levels.
20:59:34.000 What's fun?
20:59:35.000 Like, what do people do for fun?
20:59:39.000 Nothing's fun.
20:59:42.000 Yeah, the best thing in life... You put me in jail with the right people.
20:59:45.000 I'll have the best time of my life.
20:59:46.000 Yeah.
20:59:47.000 Loads of fun.
20:59:49.000 It's all about people.
20:59:50.000 The world is all about people.
20:59:51.000 If you gave me a list of 20 people I could go to jail with, I'd have the best time of my life.
20:59:57.000 It's all about who.
20:59:59.000 It's not about where.
21:00:00.000 It's not about what.
21:00:00.000 It's about who.
21:00:02.000 That's why having a good relationship with your woman is so important.
21:00:08.000 That's why brotherhood is so important.
21:00:10.000 That life is about who's.
21:00:12.000 It's not about what's or where's.
21:00:13.000 It's about who.
21:00:15.000 It's true.
21:00:18.000 Well, we're lucky because we have that.
21:00:20.000 And we also have all the stuff everyone else wants.
21:00:22.000 We have all the what's and where's.
21:00:24.000 Because if you don't, We're the richest people in the world.
21:00:27.000 We're the richest people in the world because we have enough money to buy anything.
21:00:30.000 happiness, which is not that true because money is great.
21:00:34.000 But relationships with people are more important than money.
21:00:39.000 And we're lucky that we actually end to have everything.
21:00:41.000 We have everything.
21:00:45.000 We're the richest people in the world because we have all we have enough money to buy anything, anything.
21:00:49.000 And then we have all the things that money can't buy that most people with more money than us don't have like youth, strength, brotherhood, women who genuinely love us, children who genuinely love it, etc.
21:00:59.000 We have every single thing, a mission, saving the world, helping people, respected on every single city on earth.
21:01:05.000 It doesn't matter if we go to Beijing or Baltimore, we're going to have street cred.
21:01:09.000 Every single place we go, we're the richest people on the planet.
21:01:13.000 You might be right there.
21:01:15.000 There's nothing we're lacking in any realm.
21:01:19.000 Nothing?
21:01:22.000 And if to have that perfect life and to save the world, to inspire an entire new generation of young men to build a life worth having, we have to do a little bit of jail.
21:01:33.000 So be it.
21:01:34.000 So be it.
21:01:35.000 It's worth it.
21:01:37.000 Absolutely.
21:01:38.000 Because we could live a, we could delete the mission, delete trying to inspire people, delete any of that and just not go to jail.
21:01:48.000 And life would still be good.
21:01:50.000 But no, the mission's bigger than what they could do to me.
21:01:53.000 me. Fuck them.
21:02:00.000 I'm going to get a new one. I'm going to get a new one. I'm going to get a new one. I'm going to get a new one. I'm going to get a new one. I'm going to get a new one. I'm going to get a new one.
21:02:19.000 I'm going to go ahead and get started.
21:02:39.000 Do some pushups.
21:02:54.000 They want to do themselves.
21:02:59.000 That's true.
21:03:00.000 My next set will be over halfway done, when I do my next set.
21:03:04.000 What are you on now?
21:03:05.000 480.
21:03:05.000 480.
21:03:06.000 480!
21:03:06.000 You alright?
21:03:06.000 480. 480. You know what slowed me down?
21:03:19.000 My fucking potato and noodles.
21:03:21.000 Yeah.
21:03:22.000 I need my stomach to digest this.
21:03:25.000 Let me take a little walk.
21:03:37.000 Walk off some of this.
21:03:41.000 Potato noodles, you know?
21:03:43.000 Nice, high-carb, low-protein, toxic food.
21:03:46.000 JLA.
21:03:48.000 It is the JLA, friend.
21:03:50.000 I work for the BBC.
21:04:06.000 I always have. These posters are cool.
21:04:09.000 I work for the BBC.
21:04:17.000 uh ah
21:04:41.000 so oh wow So, I'm going to go ahead and get this.
21:05:05.000 I'm getting the money crystal.
21:08:12.000 My favorite part of the book.
21:08:15.000 Know you traitor, for I'm aware you know me, but I know you not.
21:08:20.000 If you're an adventurer sewn up in gold and jewelry, you call yourself at Paris the Count of Monte Cristo.
21:08:25.000 In Italy, Sinbad the Sailor, and in Malta, I forget one.
21:08:29.000 But what is your real name?
21:08:31.000 I need to know, so that in the midst of your one hundred names, I shall pronounce it at the moment I plunge my sword through your heart.
21:08:39.000 How rude is that thing?
21:08:40.000 turned dreadfully pale. His eyes seemed to burn with a devouring fire and he bounded towards a dressing room near his bedroom. In less than a moment, tearing off his cravat, his coat and waistcoat, he put on a sailor's jacket and a hat from beneath which rolled his long blonde hair. He returned thus, formidable, implacable, advancing with his arms crossed at his breast towards the general who did not understand why he disappeared, but who on seeing him and feeling his teeth chatter and his legs sink under him, drew back,
21:09:09.000 holding him stuck by a table to support his clenched hand.
21:09:11.000 For an hour, he cried, of my one hundred names I need to tell you only one to overwhelm you, but to guess it now, do you know, or do you rather remember?
21:09:22.000 Notwithstanding all my sorrows and tortures, I show you today a face which the happiness of revenge makes young again, a face which you must have often seen in your dreams since your marriage with Mercedes, my dear. It's a fucking good one. It's my favourite bit. And for not un-finding he realises he's ruined his life and he goes to confront him. How does he ruin his life again? Um...
21:09:49.000 Fernand as a soldier was involved in a scandal where he sold out a Turkish sultan for money, betrayed a French ally, and sold the fort, and sold the town so he could steal the money for himself, and he came back to France.
21:09:58.000 It's a super rich man.
21:10:00.000 But the Count of Monte Cristo exposes the whole scam, takes the guy's daughter, who he bought from a slave market, and the fucking... In court, he gets completely famous and framed, and his name is completely disgraced.
21:10:12.000 His wife and his son leave him, and he's left with nothing.
21:10:17.000 After that he goes back to his house and shoots himself in the head.
21:10:20.000 This book was written in the 1800s back when you could actually write proper shit.
21:10:27.000 So he goes there to challenge into a duel and he puts on a sailor's uniform from when he was a teenager and comes out.
21:10:36.000 Finally he realizes who had been fucking with him all these years now.
21:10:40.000 Because Count of Monte Cristo's revenge plans take a whole decade.
21:10:44.000 True G.
21:10:48.000 We thank you for joining us today.
21:11:07.000 We are so glad you could make it.
21:11:32.000 I'm going to go ahead and get started.
21:13:37.000 We eat Oreos.
21:13:39.000 Yeah.
21:14:07.000 We don't need Oreos.
21:14:09.000 We eat Oreos.
21:14:17.000 WITNESS hack.
21:14:43.000 What do you think people are doing in the outside world?
21:15:13.000 world Tristan.
21:15:16.000 Jail becomes your world.
21:15:17.000 What do you think people are doing outside of jail?
21:15:22.000 I don't think about what people are doing outside of jail.
21:15:24.000 Why would I?
21:15:26.000 Saturday night last night, what do you think everyone was doing?
21:15:32.000 Thank you.
21:15:33.000 Doesn't matter.
21:15:38.000 I think from within jail you can I appreciate what other people are doing outside, but it's very strange.
21:15:42.000 I don't think anyone outside can possibly imagine what it's like to just be in jail.
21:15:47.000 You're frozen in time.
21:15:49.000 I met men in jail, 40-something years old, and they acted like it was like talking with a teenager or with like a 20-year-old.
21:15:57.000 They were so emotionally and mentally immature because they've spent 20 years of the last 40 in prison.
21:16:04.000 They're taken as a 20-year-old.
21:16:05.000 They're thrown in jail.
21:16:05.000 They're still 20.
21:16:07.000 Life experience is what matures you as a man.
21:16:10.000 The same routine, day in, day out.
21:16:12.000 Your mind is frozen in time.
21:16:14.000 It's true.
21:16:43.000 I've seen everything and I've done everything.
21:16:45.000 You think that would make jail more difficult?
21:16:47.000 In some ways it makes it easier.
21:16:50.000 You have so many millions of experiences to draw upon of your life.
21:16:54.000 I've seen the whole fucking world.
21:16:56.000 I know what you mean.
21:17:00.000 If you're emotionally mature enough, it may make jail easier.
21:17:02.000 If you're spoiled by it, it will make jail harder.
21:17:06.000 If that makes sense.
21:17:09.000 You're emotionally mature enough.
21:17:10.000 You can see it as a test.
21:17:12.000 You can see jail as a test.
21:17:15.000 And you can draw from all your life experiences.
21:17:20.000 It is a test.
21:17:21.000 From God.
21:17:21.000 That's all jail is.
21:17:22.000 That's all life is.
21:17:23.000 It's a test.
21:17:23.000 It's all one big test from God.
21:17:26.000 Bad shit's gonna happen to everybody.
21:17:28.000 Perform as best as you can in the bad times, because that's what makes or breaks you.
21:17:32.000 There are people, saying no names, who run into tiny inconveniences or little problems in life, and their whole life spirals into the toilet.
21:17:40.000 Drink, drug addiction, fucking suicide attempts.
21:17:43.000 They fuck their whole life up.
21:17:46.000 Because of things which other people have dealt with a hundred times more.
21:17:50.000 It's true.
21:17:51.000 and not broken down and spiraled into depression and fucking self-loathing.
21:17:55.000 And that's what I'm here to say.
21:18:18.000 What time did we get mail? 8 I think. Wow.
21:18:47.000 Break it.
21:18:50.000 I'm going to do a Aikido Japane, using my ninja element.
21:18:54.000 Do it.
21:18:55.000 Break it.
21:18:56.000 I'm the captain of Monte Cristo, I heard.
21:19:06.000 Why'd you say that?
21:19:15.000 Because we just are.
21:19:18.000 Falsely imprisoned, released, and then richest, most influential, most powerful men in the entire realm.
21:19:25.000 Our realm is on Francis Earth.
21:19:27.000 Should we burn our cell down?
21:19:49.000 Huh?
21:19:51.000 Should we burn our cell?
21:19:52.000 Don't burn our cell down.
21:19:53.000 I like our cell.
21:19:55.000 Why?
21:19:56.000 Because.
21:19:56.000 I like it here.
21:19:58.000 Stop burning my fucking chair.
21:19:59.000 I like this chair.
21:20:00.000 It's a good chair.
21:20:01.000 It's the best we've got.
21:20:03.000 I'm gonna go to sleep.
21:20:32.000 Now I'm going to sit on the edge of the bed.
21:20:34.000 To mix things up a little.
21:20:35.000 Oh, sit down!
21:20:36.000 Nice.
21:20:37.000 Do things interesting, you know?
21:20:38.000 Yeah.
21:20:38.000 Nice to lay down.
21:20:40.000 Sit down.
21:20:41.000 Stroll.
21:20:41.000 Chair time.
21:20:43.000 I stole it.
21:21:10.000 It's a good point.
21:21:15.000 I stole your comb, that's why I'm in jail.
21:21:18.000 And you're in jail for having shit hair because you can't brush it, so now we're both in jail.
21:21:21.000 Well, that's more of a justifiable reason than human trafficking, mate.
21:21:26.000 I'm going to go ahead and get the camera.
21:22:01.000 Is someone here?
21:22:23.000 I'm going to call jail for all jail.
21:22:25.000 I'm going to find you or Spider-Man.
21:22:43.000 Thank you.
21:22:46.000 I called Spider-Man gay before they started making his character gay.
21:22:48.000 I literally knew it.
21:22:49.000 I was totally right about that.
21:22:51.000 Is Spider-Man's character gay now?
21:22:52.000 Yeah.
21:22:53.000 Why?
21:22:54.000 Who says?
21:22:55.000 Everyone's gay now.
21:22:56.000 He's gay now.
21:22:57.000 His character's gay.
21:22:57.000 What do you mean?
21:22:59.000 I did a tape speech saying Spider-Man's a little gay.
21:23:02.000 Yeah.
21:23:02.000 He's a loser.
21:23:03.000 And now Spider-Man's like officially gay in the new comics or shit.
21:23:06.000 What?
21:23:07.000 Why?
21:23:08.000 Isn't he Spider-Man for that Mary Jane bitch?
21:23:11.000 I don't know.
21:23:12.000 All the characters, all the actors who played him are little pussy boys as well, so I'll just... Have you ever saw... Who?
21:23:19.000 The little gay actors, I don't know their names.
21:23:21.000 Tom Holland.
21:23:22.000 I know him.
21:23:24.000 I saw Tom Holland did some scene where he got bummed and then had to take a year off Hollywood because he realized that he's a Satanist propaganda beast.
21:23:31.000 Or something.
21:23:32.000 I don't know exactly what happened, I just know he got bummed.
21:23:34.000 He got bummed in a movie?
21:23:35.000 Yeah.
21:23:36.000 Why would he let himself get bummed in a movie?
21:23:37.000 Because he wanted to be a good actor?
21:23:42.000 Acting like you get bummed isn't noteworthy.
21:23:44.000 Whoa, Tristan.
21:23:46.000 It's artistic.
21:23:47.000 What did he actually say?
21:23:48.000 This is Satanist bullshit.
21:23:50.000 I don't know.
21:23:50.000 He said something he needs a year off.
21:23:52.000 He said something bad about Hollywood, I think.
21:23:55.000 I don't actually watch these people talk, and I don't really listen to these losers.
21:23:58.000 I didn't know his name.
21:23:59.000 I somehow heard in the ether that he somehow was unhappy with Hollywood after he let them bum him.
21:24:08.000 That's not good.
21:24:09.000 Why not?
21:24:10.000 Well, it makes you repent.
21:24:11.000 It's bullshit.
21:24:13.000 Use the ear off or something.
21:24:16.000 My bum hurts.
21:24:18.000 Maybe his bum hurts, you know?
21:24:25.000 What's wrong with the world, bro?
21:24:29.000 What's wrong with the world?
21:24:31.000 What's wrong with the world is that they have attacked the baseline of morality
21:24:37.000 By destroying the most fundamental interactions between humanity, which are the masculine and the feminine, the perfect unison created by God, and by destroying the way men act and women act, and by extension, our collaboration with each other, they can extrapolate that chaos out towards the family unit, the town, the city, the state, the country, and with enough chaos and confusion, the world, then they can come along and say,
21:25:06.000 This chaos and confusion must be remedied.
21:25:08.000 We will remedy it with the following laws, and with more tolerance, and with the following regulations, and with more equality, and these other false gods and falsified ideas which have no genuine intention behind them, or any merit in regards to fixing the problem.
21:25:25.000 The only goal for these things is more control in an attempt to create a slave class.
21:25:30.000 So.
21:25:32.000 Two.
21:25:33.000 Condense my answer.
21:25:35.000 They have made the world sick so they can give a false medicine, a false prescription, which leads to them getting more of what they want, which is control over your life, your mind, and destroying any remnants of personal sovereignty you have left.
21:25:52.000 And they cannot install such draconian measures Without a degree of confusion and chaos, which is being artificially manufactured down at every single level of society, to the most base-level interactions, especially between how men and women interact, because men and women create children, which own the future.
21:26:17.000 That is the answer.
21:26:18.000 It's a very long answer to why Tom Holland got bummed, but it is the reason.
21:26:27.000 Think about it.
21:26:27.000 He's Spider-Man.
21:26:28.000 Young boys look up to him.
21:26:29.000 Now he's getting bummed.
21:26:30.000 That's right.
21:26:30.000 Maybe I should try to get bummed.
21:26:32.000 Correct.
21:26:32.000 We have a whole generation of men who can't watch Andrew Taker's, he's banned, but can watch their Spider-Man hero get bummed.
21:26:38.000 And we've already talked about Ant-Man at length.
21:26:41.000 Well, you have.
21:26:41.000 I don't care about Ant-Man.
21:26:43.000 Nobody should care about Ant-Man, but he was Netflix number two at the time I made the Ant-Man movie, which really, genuinely upset me, because now people want to be ants.
21:26:52.000 This is my point.
21:26:53.000 None of this is accidental.
21:26:53.000 It's all extremely deliberate.
21:27:00.000 And their goal is more control.
21:27:04.000 The goal is always more control.
21:27:07.000 Why are they doing anything?
21:27:09.000 The goal is always going to be more control.
21:27:11.000 The answer is always the same.
21:27:14.000 Why are they trying to save the planet from imaginary climate change?
21:27:16.000 Why are they trying to save you and protect you from imaginary COVID?
21:27:20.000 Why are they trying to do any of the things they're trying to do?
21:27:22.000 It has nothing to do with the reason they say they are doing it.
21:27:25.000 They are doing all of it for more control.
21:27:28.000 That's all they want.
21:27:30.000 And when they have absolute and utter control, when you are fully disarmed, and you no longer have the capability to resist, you have to sit and think, do you trust these people, who have absolute sovereignty over your life, to not be draconian, and to not destroy elements of your life that you enjoy, once you no longer have the capability to resist deensly?
21:27:53.000 Well, if you do, then you are a fool.
21:27:54.000 You're certainly naive.
21:27:57.000 Because once somebody cannot resist things, The answer is always the same.
21:28:00.000 It's either slavery or death.
21:28:05.000 And even the masculine spirit, which exists inside of all men, the innate masculine spirit to rebel against the system and the machine, which God has instilled inside of men to prevent tyranny, is being dampened and attacked consciously because they want us all to be eunuched.
21:28:29.000 They want men to be semi-depressed, watching porn, without enough motivation, physical strength, or mental fortitude to do anything about the enslavement which is being bestowed upon them.
21:28:39.000 Well, about their own lives, first and foremost, because that's the underpin.
21:28:43.000 If they're not going to do anything about their own lives, then why would they care about the good of society?
21:28:48.000 Correct.
21:28:48.000 If you're too depressed and too sad to fix your own life, how can you fix anyone else's life, or take care of a family, or worry about your society?
21:28:59.000 Which is why things like depression are advertised and why me helping men's mental health and telling men to not be depressed because depression isn't real is an act of rebellion against a matrix which puts me as a target for punishment because I'm genuinely helping men with the men's mental health crisis that they pretend they care about.
21:29:19.000 Because they don't want you to be happy.
21:29:22.000 Because if you're happy, you're better equipped and they want you disarmed.
21:29:29.000 Completely and absolutely.
21:29:31.000 They want you miserable.
21:29:40.000 They want your woman to not listen to you.
21:29:44.000 They want her to leave you and cheat on you and for some reason you have to tolerate that.
21:29:49.000 They don't want you to have any sovereignty over your own household.
21:29:51.000 You're not allowed to be a king in your own house.
21:29:53.000 The house you work for and you pay for.
21:29:54.000 You're not allowed to be in charge of in any regard.
21:29:59.000 And any innate masculinity inside of you to protect and provide is now called oppressive.
21:30:05.000 Yeah.
21:30:05.000 If you find a woman and say, I'm going to pay your bills and make sure you're safe, you're an oppressive misogynist.
21:30:10.000 Yeah.
21:30:12.000 And it's all done on purpose.
21:30:15.000 Because by destroying the masculine essence, there's no one left to fight.
21:30:20.000 The women can't fight.
21:30:21.000 They'll never get us, bro.
21:30:25.000 Which is why our very being, our very existence, is seen as an act of rebellion against the system.
21:30:32.000 And that's why the system wants us gone.
21:30:34.000 So that's why Tom Holland got banned.
21:30:52.000 of the world.
21:30:55.000 It's a very elaborate and interesting theory, Ender.
21:30:59.000 It all fits into it.
21:31:00.000 Bro, we can go back down to something even more asinine.
21:31:05.000 When Milli and Vanilli got caught with their tape on loop.
21:31:09.000 Skipping.
21:31:09.000 Girl, you know it.
21:31:13.000 Their careers were over.
21:31:15.000 In the 1980s, we expected our singers to sing.
21:31:18.000 Yeah, we had standards.
21:31:19.000 When Cardi B throws her microphone at some ratchet chick, because who else is gonna go see Cardi B?
21:31:24.000 And I'm not even assaulting Cardi B, I don't know her as a person, but ratchet people went to her thing, and some ratchet girl threw a drink at her, and she threw her microphone back at her, and the music kept playing.
21:31:35.000 Nobody even comments on the fact that she doesn't even perform anymore.
21:31:38.000 It's all just a tape.
21:31:41.000 And that's fine.
21:31:42.000 Standards have fallen so greatly in the last 30 years, from the end of 1989 to now, the end of the 1980s to now, that we no longer even expect our singers to sing.
21:31:54.000 I know that's a small thing, but things that would get you cancelled with moral outrage 30 years ago, now do not even turn ahead.
21:32:05.000 They don't even register.
21:32:06.000 They don't even register.
21:32:06.000 Nobody cares.
21:32:08.000 Nobody cares about anything anymore.
21:32:10.000 You can be a singer and not sing, You can be a girl.
21:32:15.000 You can be a model and be in horrible shape and look ugly.
21:32:17.000 You can be a model and be ugly.
21:32:19.000 You can be a singer and not sing.
21:32:20.000 You can be a girl with no femininity.
21:32:22.000 You can be a man with no masculinity.
21:32:24.000 There are no standards at all for anything.
21:32:28.000 The only standard they expect of you is for you to be unlimitedly tolerant to the insanity that they push and purport and propagate.
21:32:38.000 That's all they want from you.
21:32:40.000 The only thing we expect of you is tolerance, because if you're tolerant enough, you don't have any standards, you don't have any parameters, and you will accept the slave program.
21:32:48.000 We don't want anything from you besides the ability to say everything else is okay.
21:32:53.000 It's okay to have sex with children.
21:32:56.000 It's okay for crying to go up.
21:32:59.000 It's okay to burn down your own neighborhoods.
21:33:00.000 It's okay to burn down your neighborhoods.
21:33:01.000 It's okay to be godless.
21:33:03.000 It's okay for singers not to sing.
21:33:05.000 It's all fine.
21:33:06.000 If you have an opinion on any of these things, you're a bad person.
21:33:11.000 I would argue you're a good person to care about things, but no, not according to the Matrix.
21:33:15.000 To the Matrix, you're a bad person if you care about anything.
21:33:19.000 You're supposed to care about nothing under the guise of tolerance.
21:33:22.000 Because you're a tolerant person, you have no standards for yourself or others.
21:33:26.000 I will say right here, I'm an intolerant person, and I'm very intolerant towards myself.
21:33:32.000 I would be intolerant of allowing myself to become physically unfit, for example.
21:33:38.000 I'm intolerant of that.
21:33:41.000 I have high standards for myself.
21:33:43.000 By extension, high standards for the people I associate with, both romantically and fraternally.
21:33:49.000 By extension, I should have high standards for the society I live in.
21:33:54.000 But no, you're not allowed standards for anything.
21:33:59.000 And that, guys, is why Tom Holland got bombed.
21:34:02.000 Tom Holland got bombed.
21:34:05.000 It's all an interconnected web.
21:34:08.000 None of these things are small things.
21:34:11.000 They're all very deliberate attacks on the human consciousness and psyche.
21:34:15.000 How old's Tom Holland?
21:34:28.000 I don't know.
21:34:30.000 Does he even realize?
21:34:35.000 Well... It's a good question.
21:34:38.000 How many people inside of these entertainment arts Realize they're being used to propagate the worldview of Satan.
21:34:45.000 A lot of them.
21:34:46.000 Not all of them.
21:34:47.000 A lot of them.
21:34:48.000 Some of them just pretend they don't know for the money.
21:34:50.000 Some of them may be well-intentioned, but it's too late.
21:34:58.000 But I do feel like there's a shift in the culture coming and we have been a large part of that culture shift.
21:35:02.000 We've made God cool again.
21:35:06.000 I do think that's good for the world and I think that's exactly what the Western world needed.
21:35:13.000 I also think by teaching men to have standards for themselves, by extension, like I just described, they're going to have standards for everyone around them and the societies they live in, which is going to make them less tolerant of insanity, which is good for the world.
21:35:24.000 So the best way you can save the planet is by teaching men to have very high standards for their own capability.
21:35:30.000 By teaching men to have very high standards for their own competence.
21:35:34.000 I'm a man and I expect myself to be extremely strong and extremely rich and extremely smart and extremely connected and extremely funny and extremely charismatic, etc.
21:35:42.000 You have all these standards for yourself and you work hard towards achieving them, you're going to start to have standards for everyone around you.
21:35:50.000 Which is super important.
21:35:51.000 Which is super important because that's how you save society.
21:35:55.000 So men and their own personal work they do on themselves and their own personal struggles and their own wars is how society at large is fixed.
21:36:04.000 People say I'm a misogynist, but they don't understand that for women to be truly happy, they need to have men they respect.
21:36:09.000 And for women to be truly safe, they need to live in societies which are based on law and order.
21:36:13.000 And for all of that to happen, you need to have men of genuine competence and capability and standards.
21:36:18.000 So by increasing the capability of men and inspiring men to be the best versions of themselves... Women are happier and safer and everything by extension.
21:36:26.000 Women are happier and safer.
21:36:27.000 That's right.
21:36:29.000 It would be misogynistic for me to do the opposite thing and not care about female safety and try and convince men that being weak is fine.
21:36:35.000 Because it's not fine because there will always be a predator and there will always be a prey.
21:36:39.000 And to a degree it takes a bad guy to stop a bad guy.
21:36:43.000 And that is why Tom Holland got bumped.
21:36:55.000 Tom Holland got bummed.
21:36:58.000 Thanks for telling the world that, Andrew.
21:37:00.000 I didn't even know Tom Holland got bummed.
21:37:03.000 I don't keep up with pop culture.
21:37:05.000 I saw some on Twitter.
21:37:06.000 Well, pop culture is now Spider-Man getting bummed, so that's probably why I don't pay much attention to it.
21:37:12.000 I don't think you're missing very much, to be honest with you.
21:37:15.000 I think it's all a psy-op now.
21:37:17.000 I don't think any of it makes any money anymore.
21:37:20.000 Disney's lost money on every movie they made in the last five years.
21:37:23.000 Well, I said this, so Best Buy released an advert saying our management team were not hiring whites for our management team. I'm like, Best Buy? Okay, that's an essential business. Computers, phones, electronics, everyone goes to Best Buy. After Bud Light fucked up, instead of taking the foot off the gas and saying no one do that anymore.
21:37:44.000 They're all interconnected and there's somebody telling all of them to do this.
21:37:47.000 No, no, no.
21:37:47.000 Bud Light fucked up.
21:37:48.000 Cool.
21:37:49.000 You, Disney.
21:37:50.000 You, fucking Best Buy.
21:37:52.000 You.
21:37:53.000 All of you go harder.
21:37:54.000 Costa Coffee.
21:37:56.000 Weird anagrams of people who mutilate themselves.
21:37:59.000 Weird little drawings.
21:38:00.000 Everyone go much harder.
21:38:03.000 Because if we all do it, they can't boycott all of us.
21:38:07.000 They need to eat and buy stuff from somewhere.
21:38:12.000 So, let's go harder.
21:38:15.000 It is all planned.
21:38:16.000 There's no way any CEO or CFO of any company after the Bud Light debacle thinks, let's do this.
21:38:25.000 There is no way those are independent decisions being made at a company level for companies that have no interconnectivity and have nothing to do with each other.
21:38:34.000 There is somebody telling them to do this.
21:38:36.000 Because if they go hard enough, then what?
21:38:38.000 Then Walmart can do it.
21:38:40.000 With their fucking... No, Target can do it with their gay kids, gay pride for three-year-olds clothings.
21:38:46.000 Fine.
21:38:47.000 If Target's the only supermarket in your town, you almost have to go to Target.
21:38:51.000 They'll keep going harder and harder and harder until all of them are doing it.
21:38:55.000 And if you wanna drink coffee and eat food and buy gas, you have to go to those businesses.
21:39:02.000 It's not gonna stop.
21:39:05.000 Lunacy.
21:39:07.000 All I can do is become the Count of Monte Cristo.
21:39:09.000 And that's it.
21:39:12.000 So when we're creating push-ups out in thin air and doing push-ups, we're effectively saving the world.
21:39:27.000 Thank you.
21:39:29.000 Here we are.
21:39:32.000 Someone has to do the push-ups.
21:39:33.000 Someone has to do the push-ups to save the planet.
21:39:35.000 Otherwise, more men like Tom Holland We're gonna fall victim to bum-bum attacks.
21:39:40.000 Bum-bum, that's right.
21:39:41.000 The bum-bum.
21:39:43.000 Up the bum!
21:39:44.000 Don't know it.
21:39:46.000 I'm I can't help but tumble it.
21:40:07.000 Shit, I fucked up.
21:40:09.000 I did a perfectly even number and I'm now at 600.
21:40:16.000 Yeah, don't want even numbers, mate.
21:40:21.000 Nice.
21:40:22.000 Yeah.
21:41:39.000 Thank you.
21:41:43.000 Sergeant, why did Tom Holland get bummed again?
21:41:45.000 Tom Holland got bummed because they're trying to normalize degeneracy.
21:41:51.000 Because there are certain things which have not been accepted, and if you don't accept things, you have hard-line parameters, and they have to destroy all parameters and degrees of morality inside of your mind so they can install the slave program.
21:42:01.000 Because I'll argue actually something.
21:42:02.000 I'll actually argue something about movies.
21:42:05.000 You can have actors play gays in movies if there's a reason.
21:42:09.000 Hear me out.
21:42:10.000 Hear me out.
21:42:12.000 Liberace, the pianist, yeah?
21:42:14.000 They made a movie about Liberace, who was a homosexual, who was a piano player.
21:42:19.000 No one celebrates him for being a homosexual, we celebrate him for being a piano player.
21:42:22.000 He was a piano player.
21:42:23.000 Michael Douglas plays him, and Matt Damon plays his boyfriend, but it's a movie about a homosexual guy.
21:42:30.000 I feel like that's an excuse to make a movie.
21:42:34.000 Watch it if you want, you know he's gay.
21:42:36.000 But when they start making, like, Sulu in Star Trek gay, for no reason, They finish the space battle and then he goes and hugs and walks off with his boyfriend.
21:42:45.000 No reason!
21:42:46.000 There's no plot!
21:42:47.000 Nothing about the story of Star Trek needed Sulu to be gay.
21:42:52.000 Even the gay actor who originally played Sulu said Sulu isn't gay.
21:42:57.000 They just inject it for no reason.
21:43:01.000 It's not like a movie about Alan Turing where he's gay and he fancies his kid at school.
21:43:04.000 I mean, he was gay.
21:43:06.000 That's a movie.
21:43:07.000 But they're doing it for no reason.
21:43:08.000 I'd like to think that the Tom Holland Getting Bummed movie Probably wasn't a historical biopic.
21:43:13.000 Well, yes.
21:43:23.000 So there's an agenda there, isn't there?
21:43:26.000 No.
21:43:26.000 You're a misogynist.
21:43:29.000 You're a misogynist.
21:43:31.000 And you're dangerous to the minds of young people.
21:43:34.000 I teach people to have standards for themselves, and that's why they consider me dangerous.
21:43:37.000 Yeah, how dare you tell these young men to go to the gym and get in good shape.
21:43:39.000 That's toxic.
21:43:41.000 You should be fat, and soy, and sad, and watch porn all day.
21:43:45.000 Because that's progressive, and that's great.
21:43:47.000 That's healthy and normal, I hear.
21:43:47.000 You don't know that?
21:43:52.000 You don't have to stick to your heteronormativity worldview, that men need to be strong.
21:43:58.000 That's toxic.
21:43:59.000 You are toxic.
21:44:02.000 Why am I in jail with you?
21:44:03.000 I'm on the BBC's team.
21:44:05.000 Give me a job, Matt!
21:44:07.000 Try a spoonful of coffee.
21:44:21.000 I'm a little bit tired.
21:44:23.000 I'm going to sleep.
21:44:57.000 Thanks for watching.
21:45:24.000 But that's what they want to do to you.
21:45:26.000 They're not going to put you in a Hollywood movie and ask you to get bombed in a movie, but they're trying to do that.
21:45:29.000 They want you to do a Philip Schofield.
21:45:32.000 I'll kill myself if you don't leave me alone!
21:45:34.000 Hey look guys, look.
21:45:36.000 And you take a big sensitive pussy, it's fine.
21:45:38.000 You can all be the same.
21:45:39.000 That's what they want to do to you, bro.
21:45:42.000 They want to break me.
21:45:45.000 They don't understand.
21:45:45.000 They can put me in jail for a hundred years.
21:45:50.000 I'll be smiling, dancing around, smoking my cigarettes.
21:45:52.000 We don't break.
21:45:53.000 Crimes that don't exist, we don't break.
21:45:57.000 That's what they wanted.
21:45:57.000 That's why they ambushed you at the BBC.
21:45:59.000 Oh, you just got out of jail?
21:46:00.000 We're going to ask you what jail was like.
21:46:02.000 Yeah, but they're hoping you had your mental faculties slightly diminished.
21:46:09.000 Correct.
21:46:09.000 What you didn't realize is that in jail, we invented a coffee eating technique.
21:46:15.000 That focused our laser eyes.
21:46:17.000 Laser focus, yeah.
21:46:18.000 You're right.
21:46:19.000 So when you came out, you were in fact sharper than you ever were before prison.
21:46:23.000 Correct.
21:46:23.000 Because of the tobacco and coffee Aikido.
21:46:26.000 Correct.
21:46:26.000 That we invented within the walls of Bucharest Central, Bucharest Prison.
21:46:32.000 She was totally unprepared for that.
21:46:34.000 It blew her mind.
21:46:35.000 She got famosed.
21:46:36.000 Of course she's a loser.
21:46:39.000 She's a loser.
21:46:39.000 I'd love to see a report go for fucking Phillip Schofield and jump out the window, wouldn't he?
21:46:46.000 And they never go for him.
21:46:47.000 They ask him how he's feeling.
21:46:48.000 Yeah.
21:46:49.000 Oh, he was talking to 15-year-olds.
21:46:50.000 I actually bummed him later when he was over the age he'd sent.
21:46:53.000 At 15, I was just buying drinks.
21:46:56.000 What?
21:46:58.000 Bro, clown world.
21:46:59.000 They let anyone who's on their team, they let them off.
21:47:02.000 Yeah.
21:47:06.000 The Matrix is real.
21:47:07.000 Say the name Hugh Edwards, everyone.
21:47:09.000 Don't forget about him.
21:47:10.000 Everyone's forgot.
21:47:11.000 Andrew said two days after they say his name, he'll be gone.
21:47:13.000 It's gone.
21:47:15.000 Never am I wrong, Hugh Edwards did in fact literally commit a serious crime.
21:47:29.000 Trying to solicit pornographic images off of someone who's under 18 is the possession of child pornography.
21:47:35.000 Even if that person was old enough to consent to physical sex in person, you can't take pornographic images.
21:47:39.000 And he was Snapchatting his naked ass and getting images back from someone who's under 17?
21:47:45.000 That is illegal.
21:47:46.000 If you're a 21-year-old man and you get a 17-year-old girlfriend, don't let her send you pictures.
21:47:49.000 That's illegal.
21:47:50.000 You can date her and you can have a nice normal relationship.
21:47:52.000 But that is a crime and Hugh Edwards committed that crime.
21:47:54.000 Literally.
21:47:55.000 The BBC.
21:47:56.000 He committed a crime.
21:47:57.000 Same.
21:48:04.000 Maybe if you change your name to Hugh Edwards and I change my name to Phillip Schofield, everyone will leave us alone.
21:48:11.000 What do you think?
21:48:17.000 Good idea.
21:48:18.000 You mean you can get a job with the BBC?
21:48:21.000 Like Jimmy Savile in World of Tanks, it's going to be fun.
21:48:28.000 I'm going to be playing a bit of World of Tanks.
21:49:15.000 I need to do some pushups immediately, even one.
21:49:18.000 I need to do some pushups immediately, even one.
21:49:21.000 I'm a human error.
21:49:44.000 Chocolate.
21:49:47.000 I'm a human error.
21:49:50.000 We'll get back to you.
21:49:52.000 What do we need today?
21:49:53.000 Two bowls of soup and potato.
21:49:55.000 And some bread and an egg.
21:50:06.000 A piece of chocolate would be nice.
21:50:07.000 Do we have any commissary?
21:50:10.000 No.
21:50:13.000 We forgot to organize commissary.
21:50:16.000 Commissary is getting empty.
21:50:19.000 No man's getting through without me.
21:50:22.000 I can't wait to get out and move forward with my life.
21:50:27.000 Got a family that loves me and wants me to do right.
21:50:31.000 But instead, I'm getting locked up.
21:50:33.000 I'm locked up.
21:50:38.000 I've been trying to find the motive.
21:50:45.000 Motive.
21:50:46.000 I do what I do.
21:50:48.000 Should have named it no closer.
21:50:51.000 Closer.
21:50:51.000 No matter how far I'll go, that's why.
21:50:54.000 Registration.
21:50:55.000 Cops patrolling.
21:50:56.000 That's some people. You're saying it's 200 years. They're that guilty age, sir. You f*****g kill people to hurt kids.
21:51:04.000 You deserve 150 years of jail.
21:51:06.000 Car is stolen. Registration. Cops patrolling.
21:51:17.000 Now they're gonna stop me. And I've been locked up.
21:51:27.000 I'm locked up.
21:51:33.000 Mining I'm locked up.
21:51:35.000 Whistling.
21:51:43.000 It's amazing how time drags in jail.
21:51:51.000 The end.
21:51:54.000 Visitation no longer comes by.
21:51:56.000 I feel like they forgot about me.
21:52:03.000 Commissary is getting empty.
21:52:05.000 Somebody is getting full without me.
21:52:07.000 I'm getting full without you.
21:52:27.000 I can't wait to get out and move forward with my life.
21:52:45.000 What time is it?
21:52:53.000 It's Chico time.
21:52:56.000 What's he doing now?
21:52:57.000 Who, Chico?
21:52:58.000 Yeah.
21:53:00.000 No idea.
21:53:02.000 But Zing Lots, if you ask an English person in their mid-30s what time is it, they'll still say it's Geotime.
21:53:09.000 But if you ask a person in their mid-30s what time is it, they'll still say it's Geotime.
21:53:14.000 You scared?
21:53:15.000 and the nation.
21:53:16.000 For the love of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
21:53:19.000 Amen.
21:53:19.000 God bless you.
21:53:20.000 God bless you.
21:53:21.000 Amen.
21:53:56.000 After a thousand punches, my hand will become stronger than the metal of a bed.
21:54:04.000 I'll become Iron Hand.
21:54:06.000 Man with the Iron Fist.
21:54:08.000 Man with the Iron Fist, yeah.
21:54:09.000 Who is that, Stalin?
21:54:11.000 Um, I believe so.
21:54:13.000 Steelhand.
21:54:37.000 The son of the man of steel.
21:54:41.000 I think it was Lumber, 8-9.
21:55:20.000 I'm gonna light my beard on fire.
21:55:24.000 to get you.
21:55:30.000 You need to fluff your beard to effectively do a beard flame maneuver.
21:55:40.000 Oof.
21:58:18.000 I'm okay!
21:58:23.000 Tristan!
21:58:25.000 Tristan, I need one more cigarette, man!
21:58:27.000 Your mate's back.
21:58:32.000 Fuck this prison, man!
21:58:34.000 I have business idea for you, Tristan!
21:58:37.000 You're my brother!
21:58:39.000 We can do Bitcoin!
21:58:41.000 My brother have Bitcoin wallet!
21:58:44.000 I can send you, but I need one cigarette!
21:58:48.000 Fuck jail, Tristan!
21:58:49.000 That's a good business idea.
21:58:51.000 It's a good idea.
21:58:52.000 We should try it.
21:58:53.000 Think about it, Tristan.
21:58:54.000 We might get rich.
21:58:55.000 For one cigarette, it's worth a billion.
21:58:59.000 If only when I was in jail I'd made those investments, I'd be so rich.
21:59:03.000 Give him a cigarette and then we can get unlimited bitcoins.
21:59:06.000 That's not how anything works.
21:59:07.000 You're telling me you don't trust a crazy jailman?
21:59:10.000 No, I don't trust a crazy jailman.
21:59:11.000 Why?
21:59:12.000 Because they're all insane.
21:59:15.000 His brother has a bitcoin wallet.
21:59:19.000 Do you understand?
21:59:21.000 Interesting.
21:59:31.000 Thank you.
21:59:32.000 Yeah, I'm not listening anymore.
21:59:34.000 I'm not listening anymore.
22:00:14.000 ok
22:01:09.000 that voice.
22:01:11.000 That voice!
22:01:11.000 Where did I first hear it?
22:01:13.000 You heard it the first time in Marseilles, twenty-three years ago, the day to your marriage of Mademoiselle de Saint-Miron.
22:01:20.000 Refer to your papers, sir.
22:01:22.000 You are not the Abbé Boussoni?
22:01:24.000 You are not Monte Cristo?
22:01:26.000 Oh, heavens, and you are some concealed, implacable, immortal enemy!
22:01:30.000 I must have wronged you in some way at Marseilles!
22:01:32.000 Oh, woe to me!
22:01:34.000 Yes, indeed, you are right, said the Count, crossing his arms over his broad chest.
22:01:38.000 You condemned me to a horrible and tedious death.
22:01:41.000 You killed my father.
22:01:43.000 You deprived me of my liberty, of my love, and of happiness.
22:01:47.000 Who are you, then?
22:01:48.000 Who are you?
22:01:50.000 I am the specter of a wretch you buried in the dungeons of the Chateau D'If.
22:01:54.000 The form of the Count of Monte Cristo was given to that specter when at length he was issued from his tomb, enriched with gold and diamonds to reconduct him to you.
22:02:03.000 I recognize you!
22:02:05.000 I recognize you!
22:02:06.000 exclaimed the prosecutor du Roi.
22:02:08.000 I am Edmond Dantes.
22:02:11.000 You?
22:02:12.000 Edmond Dantes?
22:02:13.000 cried Villefort, seizing the count by the wrist.
22:02:15.000 They'd come here!
22:02:16.000 And he dragged Monte Cristo up the stairs, who, ignorant of what had happened, followed him into astonishment.
22:02:22.000 Hold Edmond Dantes, he said, pointing at the bodies of his wife and child.
22:02:27.000 See?
22:02:28.000 Are you now well revenged?
22:02:32.000 So he killed the wife and child of the prosecutor?
22:02:35.000 No, his wife poisoned herself and his child.
22:02:39.000 Why?
22:02:40.000 Because he set them all up and completely financially bankrupted everyone.
22:02:47.000 And then what happened to the prosecutor after that?
22:02:49.000 Well, he went mad.
22:02:49.000 He went insane.
22:02:50.000 I'm sure the prosecutor who protected his father knew that he was listening to some It's a good book.
22:03:03.000 The best parts are when they find out who it is.
22:03:05.000 After the huge build-up, they find out who was doing this.
22:03:10.000 How does it end?
22:03:11.000 Edmond Dantes does what at the end?
22:03:13.000 Emma Dante's Mercedes, the girl he was going to marry, is left in destitution, but her son goes off to join the army.
22:03:18.000 And the son is a good guy. The guy challenges the Count to a duel, and the duel doesn't take place because Mercedes snitches on his father and says what happens.
22:03:27.000 So, Albert de Morser, the son of Mercedes and Ferdinand Le Traire, goes to join the army.
22:03:33.000 Mercedes goes back to live in Marseille.
22:03:36.000 Ferdinand Mondego blows his brains out, the guy who stole his wife.
22:03:40.000 Monsieur de Villefort, the prosecutor, goes mad after his wife and child commit suicide.
22:03:44.000 He goes completely insane.
22:03:45.000 Monsieur de D'Ambroise, a banker at the time, and using insider training and his knowledge of information, completely bankrupts him.
22:03:53.000 And when he completely bankrupts him, he holds him in a cell.
22:03:56.000 And because his father starved to death to lack of money while he was in the Chateau d'If, Monsieur de Dunglars made to pay over a hundred thousand francs for each meal he's giving in the cell, so eventually he runs out of food.
22:04:06.000 And as he starts starving, the Count of Monte Cristo has mercy on him and lets him go.
22:04:11.000 And then, because he's sick of getting revenge for all these years, he lets Monsieur de Dunglars live.
22:04:15.000 And then he has this, the young Turkish girl who was the daughter of the Ali, the What's his name?
22:04:25.000 Ali Pasha, I think his name is?
22:04:26.000 The Turkish guy who Ferdinand betrayed, the young girl he purchases as a slave to bear witness, is madly in love with him.
22:04:32.000 And he lends all his money and his wealth to Maximilian Morel, the son of the shipowner he originally worked for, who was a good guy who tried to get him out of jail.
22:04:40.000 And he absconds with Ayade and starts a new life with his beautiful new wife.
22:04:44.000 And Mercedes left him, but left in poverty, which is why I hate the movies, when he marries Mercedes again, what, 14 years later, and she's got some fucking kid.
22:04:51.000 Fifteen years later.
22:04:52.000 You f**k that b**ch.
22:04:53.000 You f**k that b**ch.
22:04:54.000 Mercedes is a b**ch.
22:04:57.000 So he gets a- he marries someone else.
22:04:58.000 Yeah, he marries a young, beautiful, uh, Turkish-Greek princess.
22:05:03.000 You know, scones are enough money in his yacht.
22:05:04.000 He leaves everything else to the son of the shipowner who he originally worked for, who was the only man fighting to try and get him out of jail before his death, while he's still inside the ship.
22:05:13.000 No, he died shortly after.
22:05:15.000 My apologies.
22:05:19.000 Happy ending all around.
22:05:20.000 I don't get it, it's coming to him.
22:05:23.000 I don't get it.
22:05:55.000 He's completely financially destitute, reputation in shatters, had to leave Paris, lost his wife.
22:06:01.000 Although he doesn't actually starve him to death as he originally planned.
22:06:04.000 His life is still fucked.
22:06:06.000 He's just a fucking idiot.
22:06:28.000 To make it a good movie, you'd have to make it an 11 part Netflix series, 10 hours long.
22:06:56.000 Can't do it in two minutes.
22:06:57.000 Never been done as a series yet?
22:06:59.000 No.
22:07:00.000 And modern people wouldn't make it hard enough, you don't think?
22:07:03.000 Harsh enough?
22:07:04.000 No.
22:07:05.000 Does he do some fucked up shit?
22:07:06.000 Yeah.
22:07:07.000 1875 no I think it was written in 1855 Oh I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I
22:07:22.000 I'm going to go ahead and get started.
22:07:37.000 Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know I Don't know You
22:08:53.000 She is equal, though.
22:08:54.000 But you wouldn't write a book with that ending today.
22:08:57.000 Evil how?
22:08:58.000 What did she do?
22:08:58.000 Huh?
22:08:59.000 She was trying to seize power for the Cardinal in France to make him more powerful than the King.
22:09:05.000 Which is an evil bitch who was fucking with everyone.
22:09:08.000 In the end they chopped her head off.
22:09:10.000 Good luck.
22:09:20.000 It took me two weeks to figure out what the problem was.
22:09:38.000 Okay.
22:11:22.000 Nope.
22:11:24.000 He was never smart anyway, he was an idiot.
22:11:26.000 I never thought he was an idiot before.
22:11:28.000 When I get a new phone, I move it around in my hand so I don't need a case.
22:11:31.000 Shut up, you fucking dummy.
22:11:34.000 You drop something, you drop something.
22:11:35.000 Something bumps into you and you drop it.
22:11:36.000 The fuck are you talking about?
22:11:38.000 You sound like a cunt.
22:11:40.000 If you know so much about space, how come...
22:11:47.000 You're dumb.
22:11:50.000 It's my argument.
22:11:51.000 I'm better at origami than you.
22:12:01.000 you next time.
22:12:15.000 Bye.
22:12:16.000 You bear with that.
22:12:18.000 Thank you.
22:12:35.000 We're going to have to do something about it.
22:13:06.000 Take a look.
22:13:06.000 It's a good one.
22:13:07.000 I'm going to play it.
22:14:30.000 and if you have a question, please feel free to ask.
22:14:35.000 Thank you.
22:18:29.000 Going to sleep.
22:18:33.000 Sit and rest.
22:18:33.000 Rest.
22:18:34.000 Nice and rest.
22:18:37.000 Nice and relaxed.
22:19:19.000 Why do we put ourselves in jail?
22:19:36.000 I don't know.
22:19:37.000 Whose idea was this?
22:19:45.000 I want Oreos.
22:19:46.000 Yeah.
22:19:47.000 So?
22:19:51.000 How about cigarillos?
22:19:53.000 How about cigarillos instead of warriors, mate?
22:20:06.000 Bye.
22:20:08.000 My favorite kind of O's.
22:20:09.000 Just change the Ori for the Sigur Ril.
22:20:22.000 Think about it.
22:20:22.000 Yeah, that's true.
22:20:23.000 You want to make that different? You got my front.
22:20:31.000 you Maybe you need a nice strong coffee in a minute as well.
22:20:35.000 if we've consumed enough coffee.
22:20:37.000 Imagine being our persecutors, trying to attack us so heavily, and then when we get free, we lock ourselves in jail.
22:21:06.000 Just stream on YouTube.
22:21:08.000 .
22:21:09.000 It's true.
22:21:10.000 So, where are we going to sell?
22:21:18.000 It's my only chair.
22:21:19.000 It's a good chair.
22:21:21.000 It's fireproof.
22:21:22.000 Exactly!
22:21:23.000 It's been blessed by the Holy Spirit.
22:21:25.000 I'm going to burn the sacred I'm going to burn the sacred I'm going to burn the sacred chair of Tristan the throne of chair of Tristan the throne of chair of Tristan the throne of my jail.
22:21:37.000 I made.
22:21:40.000 I was stolen.
22:21:52.000 So, registration.
22:21:56.000 So when you finish we can go home.
22:22:00.000 Well no, home time is already set for 24 hours.
22:22:04.000 I think when you finish, we'll be free.
22:22:13.000 All of us are.
22:22:15.000 You never learned the lyrics to Sonic the Hedgehog.
22:22:18.000 That's your mistake, buddy.
22:22:20.000 It's the biggest mistake you've ever made.
22:22:26.000 We're still on break.
22:22:27.000 It's your fault.
22:22:29.000 It's a peanut butter alert.
22:22:30.000 It's a Peter Pan peanut butter alert, J.R. Layoff.
22:22:37.000 It's a Peter Pan peanut butter alert.
22:23:21.000 You and me?
22:23:23.000 We have Backgammon in jail.
22:23:26.000 Shanks?
22:23:27.000 Shank fight.
22:23:29.000 I'm going to do a little bit of a commentary on the fight.
22:23:31.000 I'm going to do a little bit of a commentary on the fight.
22:23:59.000 I forgot about leaning.
22:24:00.000 Mmm.
22:24:01.000 Can I have a nice little lean?
22:24:03.000 New activity?
22:24:05.000 Yeah.
22:24:09.000 Lean was a thing.
22:24:10.000 You can lean.
22:24:16.000 You'll lean and smoke, you know?
22:24:18.000 You can't drink anywhere.
22:24:20.000 Could be a five-star hotel on the Almaty coast.
22:24:22.000 We're going to take you to some loafers, smoking your cigarette.
22:24:27.000 Just as good here.
22:24:28.000 You're out of jail.
22:24:30.000 Right.
22:24:32.000 I've got a plan, Andrew.
22:24:52.000 I am the Count of Monte Cristo.
22:24:54.000 I have a plan to get horrible vengeance upon you.
22:24:57.000 Why?
22:24:58.000 You'll see.
22:25:00.000 You'll see.
22:25:01.000 I will have the most horrific vengeance you've ever imagined.
22:25:06.000 Because I have the resources and the ability to take you down.
22:25:09.000 And my revenge on you will be golden.
22:25:12.000 Everyone watching will see it.
22:25:14.000 I'm going to be doing a video on how to get rid of these.
22:25:57.000 How many you on now?
22:26:00.000 722.
22:26:00.000 Two laps, do a few more free ones.
22:26:02.000 Trust me.
22:26:03.000 Yes!
22:26:03.000 Yes What's a mask 100% Romanian jail beautiful Oh
22:26:22.000 Freebies Bye.
22:26:44.000 Right.
22:26:48.000 Assalamu alaikum, Andrew.
22:26:53.000 G'day.
22:26:53.000 G'day, g'day.
22:26:55.000 Sydney, Australia.
22:26:57.000 G'day, Mike.
22:26:57.000 G'day, Mike.
22:26:59.000 Just curious your thoughts on Sikh warriors and the Sikh empire.
22:27:03.000 We respect the Sikhs.
22:27:04.000 We respect all kind of warriors in any empire.
22:27:06.000 Yeah, the Sikhs are well-known warriors, and the Sikhs Famously, we're super pro-British, super pro-British Empire.
22:27:14.000 Fought a bunch of famous last stands, outnumbered, so on and so forth, with the British.
22:27:19.000 So they're historical allies and friends of the British Empire, especially during the occupation of India.
22:27:24.000 And that guy in California recently who beat the shit out of that thief with a stick, I think proves the point.
22:27:31.000 I said the 90s gave us rooftop Koreans.
22:27:34.000 In 2023, we have stick Sikhs.
22:27:37.000 Respect to both.
22:27:39.000 A thousand push-up challenge is a bit hard.
22:27:42.000 Well, duh.
22:27:42.000 The whole point is that it's hard.
22:27:44.000 That's the whole point of the beauty of victory.
22:27:46.000 If it wasn't difficult, you wouldn't want it in the first place.
22:27:48.000 It's supposed to be hard.
22:27:50.000 I've discussed this at length on other podcasts, that every single thing you want in your life is difficult, because if it wasn't difficult to achieve, everybody would already have it, and it wouldn't have value.
22:27:57.000 The idea that something is valuable means that it is hard to obtain.
22:28:00.000 Value and difficulty are inexorably linked.
22:28:03.000 They are the same thing.
22:28:04.000 Saying something is difficult is the same as saying something is valuable.
22:28:07.000 So when you say the 1,000 push-up challenge is difficult, what you've just said to me, in my mind, is the 1,000 push-up challenge is valuable.
22:28:15.000 You should do it.
22:28:16.000 You should achieve it.
22:28:16.000 that you should complete it for special people who wish to go the extra mile and be exceptional individuals. Hey, Tates, I was unfortunately a victim of the COVID BS and got the jabs, but I've realized that it was a scam.
22:28:28.000 I've learned my lesson.
22:28:29.000 I'll never be manipulated again.
22:28:31.000 I'd like to believe that's true.
22:28:32.000 You're probably still being manipulated in more ways than you can possibly realize.
22:28:36.000 You need to strongly analyze your brain, defrag, understand every single opinion you hold, where it came from, why you believe it, what the proof for it is, and does it genuinely benefit your life?
22:28:46.000 Because I guarantee they are still manipulating you.
22:28:49.000 Everybody is programmable on some degree.
22:28:51.000 Do your best.
22:28:51.000 You can't undo the damage, but be as fit and strong as possible.
22:28:55.000 Do a thousand push-ups.
22:28:57.000 Right now.
22:29:01.000 Hello, brothers.
22:29:01.000 $100 for the Tate Pledge.
22:29:02.000 Thank you very much.
22:29:05.000 Which version of the Bible should I get?
22:29:09.000 King James is always good.
22:29:11.000 Go for King James.
22:29:13.000 King James.
22:29:14.000 Thank you, Tates, for helping me get back to the real world.
22:29:14.000 $50.
22:29:17.000 I learned a lot on the campus, just giving this very small donation because I know it will go to a good cause.
22:29:24.000 I would argue we're the most efficient charity on the planet.
22:29:27.000 I have two people on the ground.
22:29:29.000 I move them around between Iran, Turkey, Syria, these war-torn countries.
22:29:33.000 I send them money and all the money is spent on food.
22:29:35.000 If you give money to Food Aid or Oxfam or any of these other big charities, less than 10% of your money actually ends up helping.
22:29:41.000 Accountants, salaries, MDs taking millions a year.
22:29:45.000 Offices.
22:29:46.000 Fancy PR companies, you're just- Fancy chairs.
22:29:49.000 You're funding a scam.
22:29:51.000 TakePledge is the most efficient charity on the planet.
22:29:55.000 And for that reason, every single dollar is gonna go to actually feeding children as it should.
22:30:01.000 It's disgusting what these other charities do.
22:30:04.000 Yeah.
22:30:05.000 Salam, brothers.
22:30:05.000 Since listening to you both, I've become spiritually stronger, learned to defend myself, and I aim to have a pro fight.
22:30:10.000 My mentality has improved.
22:30:12.000 Thank you two for everything.
22:30:13.000 God bless you and good luck.
22:30:14.000 Good luck.
22:30:15.000 You aim to have a pro fight.
22:30:17.000 That sounds good.
22:30:18.000 Super chat me again after you've had a pro fight.
22:30:21.000 I don't like people who talk about things.
22:30:22.000 I like people who have done things.
22:30:24.000 I could aim to go to the moon.
22:30:25.000 It doesn't make me a fucking astronaut.
22:30:27.000 Let's talk when it's done.
22:30:30.000 Hello, Andrew and Tristan.
22:30:33.000 I would like to ask you what I could do in order to be more confident with girls.
22:30:40.000 I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny either.
22:30:41.000 What can I improve or do?
22:30:43.000 That sounds like you're in bad shape.
22:30:44.000 One.
22:30:45.000 Confidence naturally exudes a man who knows that he has the things that people look for.
22:30:50.000 Whether it be when looking for a woman to settle down with, have a family with, whether or not it's in business and you have the mindset and the competence and the knowledge to go to a business meeting and sit down, you know that you have what it takes.
22:31:01.000 The way you describe yourself, I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny either.
22:31:05.000 You don't want to be either of those things.
22:31:07.000 What you want to be is muscular and fit and healthy, and you will naturally exude the confidence which your hard work gives to yourself.
22:31:16.000 So confidence comes after hard work, because anybody in today, 2023, you could be Sam Smith.
22:31:23.000 You could be a disgusting, pudgy, pasty, horrible looking creature and be confident as hell, because as Andrew was talking about earlier, During this live today, no one's expected to have any standards, but although society can get rid of standards for people, people don't get rid of standards for people.
22:31:39.000 We can give everyone participation trophies and say it's all fine, but a woman looking for a man to protect her, to provide for her, to start a family with her, to let this man into her bed, to give this man sexual access to her, these women will still have standards.
22:31:55.000 So you can listen to The Matrix and be Not skinny and not fat, and I don't know how I can get more confidence.
22:32:00.000 Or you can do all the hard work it takes to become the kind of man who will naturally be confident because you have all the tools.
22:32:06.000 So get to work, forget women for a year, see where you are in 12 months, and hopefully the confidence should come naturally to you, my friend.
22:32:14.000 Yeah.
22:32:15.000 Confidence is a side effect to competence.
22:32:18.000 If you get good at things, you'll naturally be confident.
22:32:20.000 The reason you're not confident is because you have nothing to be confident in.
22:32:23.000 I'm not fat, but I'm not skinny either.
22:32:24.000 I don't like the sound of that.
22:32:26.000 No, you're out of shape.
22:32:26.000 You're out of shape.
22:32:28.000 You should be in fantastic physical condition.
22:32:30.000 You should be as smart as possible.
22:32:31.000 You should be working as hard as possible.
22:32:32.000 Confidence is a side effect.
22:32:34.000 Confidence isn't something you build.
22:32:35.000 You build your capability and it comes as a side effect.
22:32:39.000 Hello, Andrew.
22:32:40.000 I'm a 17 year old.
22:32:42.000 I'm a student in the real world.
22:32:43.000 My parents are getting divorced and it's making it hard for me to focus in my environment.
22:32:48.000 Any advice on how to stay focused?
22:32:49.000 There are 17-year-olds right now being dragged into wars, going to fight on the front lines.
22:32:54.000 There are 17-year-olds right now.
22:32:55.000 There are 10-year-olds right now who are the heads of entire families in places like Yemen, because our whole family's been blown up by a bomb.
22:33:01.000 Divorce?
22:33:02.000 So wait, you still have your mother, you still have your father.
22:33:04.000 I only got one parent.
22:33:06.000 I'm not going to hear about divorce.
22:33:07.000 Any advice on how to stay focused during hard times?
22:33:09.000 Yeah, here's the advice.
22:33:10.000 It's not that hard.
22:33:11.000 Yeah, during hard times, you need to be more focused than ever.
22:33:13.000 That's when it's most essential.
22:33:15.000 If you truly are worried about your parents getting divorced and you have a vested interest in seeing both of them, and I'm sure you having financial capability will make that more likely to happen.
22:33:23.000 Being broke is not going to make you more likely to see both your parents as opposed to being rich.
22:33:26.000 If you're rich, you can miss work or change a school date or catch a flight, etc.
22:33:31.000 So if you're truly worried about your parents getting divorced, then you need as much money as possible.
22:33:36.000 And that is your reason to focus.
22:33:38.000 Hard times are fantastic motivation for you to become the best version of yourself.
22:33:42.000 Damn right.
22:33:43.000 And if hard times are instead distracting you from personal excellence, then you are born to lose.
22:33:47.000 If you're a loser, stay a loser.
22:33:49.000 Winners, when bad things are happening, we use that for fuel to make sure that we perpetually win into eternity.
22:33:56.000 Hello, G. So the past five months, I've been dealing with my mom who has brain cancer.
22:33:58.000 She recently passed away.
22:33:59.000 And without you guys, I wouldn't be where I am today.
22:34:02.000 Sorry to hear that.
22:34:03.000 Rest in peace, brother.
22:34:05.000 And, uh, it's the natural order of life that parents go before children.
22:34:08.000 It's just something all children have to deal with.
22:34:10.000 So stay strong, start a family of your own, name your first daughter after her, and, uh, she'll continue to live through your family and your bloodline.
22:34:18.000 Helm of West.
22:34:21.000 After a month in the real world, I quit my normal job because I was making money.
22:34:25.000 My business has given me financial freedom, so I'm thanking you both for helping me with that.
22:34:28.000 You're welcome.
22:34:29.000 And now if they come along with a new vaccine that all the normie people in your normie job are forced to inject inside of themselves, even though they know it's poison, you no longer have to do it.
22:34:37.000 Financial freedom is more than just.
22:34:39.000 Having money, it's autonomy over your ideas, autonomy over your time and autonomy over your bloodstream.
22:34:43.000 So it's extremely important to become as rich as possible.
22:34:45.000 And that's why we teach how to make money inside of the real world, because you cannot resist the matrix if you are dependent on a wage, because they will simply restrict your ability to earn money.
22:34:54.000 And then you will end up having to do what they want you to do so you can eat.
22:34:57.000 What did we talk earlier about war?
22:34:59.000 Yeah, number one objective of war.
22:35:00.000 Disarm your Disarm your opponent.
22:35:03.000 They want you bankrupt.
22:35:04.000 They want you broke.
22:35:05.000 They disarm you by taking your money away, taking your spirit away, taking your resolve away.
22:35:08.000 But when you have no money, it's very difficult for you to do anything at all.
22:35:10.000 You have to become an independent, sovereign individual if you want to be independently thinking.
22:35:16.000 Thank you, Andrew and Tristan at eCobra.
22:35:18.000 Thank you, Andrew and Tristan.
22:35:18.000 I wish you and your family all the best.
22:35:19.000 Thank you very much.
22:35:20.000 $20.
22:35:20.000 We'll donate that to the Tate Pledge.
22:35:22.000 I want to thank both you guys for helping me get back on my feet by FNFBHFB.
22:35:30.000 Andrew, when do you get the Rimac Navara?
22:35:33.000 Uh, good question.
22:35:34.000 We'll see when all this is over.
22:35:37.000 For now, it's in, uh... It's somewhere.
22:35:39.000 It's somewhere.
22:35:40.000 Rimac Navara?
22:35:41.000 Do we have a Rimac Navara?
22:35:42.000 No, we don't have a Rimac Navara.
22:35:43.000 No, we don't have a Rimac Navara.
22:35:44.000 I think you guys should get some dirt bikes for you and the crew.
22:35:48.000 Me and Tristan quit super bikes.
22:35:49.000 I think we kind of quit dirt bikes by extension, don't we?
22:35:51.000 Our bikes are safe enough, but... A few days ago, rest in peace to Dean.
22:35:56.000 A good friend of mine died on a superbike the other day.
22:35:58.000 It's hard on me, me and Andrew.
22:35:59.000 You know, we've lost a friend.
22:36:01.000 That's only 48 hours ago, but, you know, you gotta keep going strong and keep your head up.
22:36:06.000 So rest in peace to Dean who recently just died on a motorcycle.
22:36:09.000 He was a real one.
22:36:09.000 If you are a pious man, it doesn't matter if you're in a yacht or in jail, you'll always be okay because you're with God.
22:36:16.000 It's like Nicklass, true.
22:36:18.000 If you believe in who you are and you believe in you're doing the right thing, it doesn't matter in your surroundings nearly as much.
22:36:22.000 Because if you're empty on the outside, it's like being cold-blooded.
22:36:25.000 If you're a cold-blooded animal, you need heat from the outside.
22:36:28.000 If you're a warm-blooded animal, you can generate your own body heat.
22:36:31.000 And spirituality is, to a degree, warm-bloodedness.
22:36:33.000 So if you're a completely empty vessel, you're cold-blooded, and you need to have fantastic surroundings around you for you to be able to feel some fantastic.
22:36:39.000 But if you generate your own powers deep within your spirit and soul, it doesn't matter if you're inside of a jail cell.
22:36:44.000 Damn right.
22:36:46.000 I've been working on myself to become the best and working out every day.
22:36:48.000 I never thought I'd achieve what I've achieved.
22:36:50.000 I'm 32 from Sydney, Australia.
22:36:52.000 Congratulations, money leader.
22:36:53.000 leader. Lots of people asking me questions about what they should do financially.
22:37:06.000 Should I pursue this option or that option?
22:37:08.000 The best financial decision that exists on the planet Earth today is the real world.
22:37:12.000 It costs less than lunch, and I will teach you how to make money online.
22:37:15.000 I could teach anybody with 18 modern wealth creation methods.
22:37:17.000 If you do not invest less than your lunch money in learning how to make money online so you can be rich for the rest of your human years, you deserve to perpetually lose.
22:37:25.000 Everybody who is not inside of the real world is a loser.
22:37:27.000 Hands down.
22:37:29.000 Fact.
22:37:33.000 Tristan, this is your ancestors.
22:37:34.000 Set yourself on fire.
22:37:37.000 Shit!
22:37:38.000 Fuck!
22:37:39.000 The ancestors can super chat.
22:37:42.000 Run out of options now, ain't you, mate?
22:37:44.000 Nah, it's a hoax.
22:37:46.000 It's a hoax.
22:37:47.000 I don't believe you.
22:37:49.000 Hoaxer.
22:37:49.000 Improving every day.
22:37:50.000 You two had a massive impact on my life since I lost my father.
22:37:53.000 I know.
22:37:53.000 Be proud.
22:37:53.000 Implementing your strong mindset.
22:37:54.000 Top G. Congratulations.
22:37:56.000 Surtee.
22:37:59.000 Autumn, a girl.
22:38:00.000 Hey, again, I absolutely adore you guys.
22:38:02.000 I know you think all women are psyops, but I truly hope to meet a man like you.
22:38:05.000 Keep inspiring men to be better someday so I can be a perfect wife.
22:38:08.000 Yeah, the man says he's a fan of Andrew, Tristan, and Tate.
22:38:11.000 He's going to treat you respectfully.
22:38:13.000 He's going to protect you, provide for you.
22:38:16.000 He might make a joke that he can drive better than you and you're going to have to get over that.
22:38:20.000 I wish you luck.
22:38:25.000 What advice can you give to my little brother to be a professional fighter?
22:38:27.000 He's working towards his black belt.
22:38:29.000 Work hard or train.
22:38:30.000 Yeah, work hard or train, fight.
22:38:31.000 Everyone knows the answers to these questions.
22:38:33.000 There's no point in asking people like me.
22:38:35.000 Or, you know, if you want to be a boxer and you think, oh, if I email Floyd Mayweather enough times, if he replies, I'll be a great boxer because Floyd Mayweather is great now.
22:38:43.000 You want to be a boxer, you already know what you have to do.
22:38:45.000 Go to the boxing gym for more hours than your opponents and try harder and train harder and eat better and sleep better than all of your opponents and you will be a good boxer.
22:38:51.000 Floyd Mayweather emailing you is not going to change that.
22:38:54.000 So you shouldn't waste your time asking questions like this of successful people.
22:38:57.000 Correct.
22:38:59.000 Assalamualaikum.
22:39:00.000 I'm from India.
22:39:01.000 I tried to join the real world, but it doesn't accept payments from India.
22:39:03.000 It will do very soon.
22:39:04.000 We have an Indian payment processor coming online.
22:39:06.000 You can also join using crypto.
22:39:09.000 So use crypto and you can get something real world.
22:39:10.000 There's no excuse to not be inside of it.
22:39:12.000 Like I said, it is so cost effective.
22:39:14.000 I'm refusing to put the price up for as long as possible, even though the price should have raised months and months ago.
22:39:20.000 And the other people are talking to me about putting it up.
22:39:22.000 I'm not doing it because at $49 a month, it is cheaper than lunch.
22:39:26.000 So anybody who is not inside is objectively a loser and deserves to lose.
22:39:30.000 In almost every country in the world, you can earn that in one day.
22:39:35.000 Hi guys.
22:39:36.000 I'm a big fan.
22:39:38.000 You're my son's hero.
22:39:39.000 He wants to shave his head and do fighting like Andrew said.
22:39:42.000 Good.
22:39:43.000 Make sure he gets good at it because fighting's not something you can play with.
22:39:45.000 You're gonna have to be very good at it or he's gonna get hurt, so make sure he trains hard.
22:39:50.000 Andrew and Tristan, how do you deal with physical sickness?
22:39:52.000 I currently have strong fever.
22:39:54.000 I can't focus on my work.
22:39:56.000 Look, you get sick, you get better.
22:39:58.000 Telling me certainly won't help.
22:40:00.000 Me and Andrew have a saying, if I'm feeling sick, Whether it be, I don't know, flu, cold, food poisoning, hangover, I will never, ever, Andrew, I feel sick, because he will reply.
22:40:09.000 Do you want therapy?
22:40:11.000 What do you want, therapy?
22:40:12.000 As in talking about it isn't going to fix anything.
22:40:14.000 You've just sent me that message.
22:40:16.000 Do you feel better?
22:40:16.000 No, I didn't think so.
22:40:19.000 Go to bed, get some sleep, eat some food.
22:40:20.000 You'll be fine.
22:40:21.000 Completely.
22:40:24.000 Me and my brothers are a lot like you two.
22:40:26.000 We identify with you.
22:40:27.000 Good.
22:40:27.000 I think all brothers should be close.
22:40:28.000 I don't understand why brothers are arguing with each other.
22:40:31.000 I see that, and it genuinely saddens me.
22:40:33.000 Agreed.
22:40:34.000 Hey, G's!
22:40:35.000 I live virtually through you, 24-7.
22:40:38.000 You're my true brothers.
22:40:39.000 You're very inspiring.
22:40:41.000 Sad, do push-ups.
22:40:42.000 Depressed, do push-ups.
22:40:43.000 Happy, do push-ups to celebrate.
22:40:44.000 Hope I can meet you one day.
22:40:46.000 You're completely right about the push-ups, and you will meet us one day if you join the War Room and follow the white path.
22:40:50.000 That is the only way to meet us.
22:40:51.000 There's no other way.
22:40:52.000 Yeah, we don't keep outsiders around.
22:40:55.000 You interested and inspired my twin and I to be much closer to each other.
22:40:57.000 You guys are alpha and extremely educated men.
22:40:59.000 We love you guys.
22:40:59.000 God bless you both.
22:41:00.000 Thank you.
22:41:03.000 Can you tell us about Wudan?
22:41:04.000 Who made it?
22:41:04.000 What is the whole story?
22:41:05.000 Will you do anything interesting with the stories in the future, like a book or a movie?
22:41:08.000 Sending love and strength from Prague.
22:41:09.000 Yes.
22:41:10.000 We actually have an animated series, which has already begun.
22:41:13.000 And you can see that on CobraTape.com.
22:41:14.000 Go to CobraTape.com, go to Information, and click on Lessons from Wudang.
22:41:18.000 These are stories that I wrote with my father when he was still alive, when I was fighting professionally, and they were beginning to be animated.
22:41:22.000 We're producing an animated series, so Tales of Wudang is already coming true.
22:41:27.000 Also, Planet T, which is something we're launching shortly.
22:41:30.000 We're going to build an entire artificial intelligence world built with AI.
22:41:35.000 Kind of think of Minecraft, but not geeky.
22:41:37.000 We're going to build a brand new planet.
22:41:39.000 All members of Hostiles University are going to be allowed to own a percentage of this planet, this brand new future we're going to own, and Mount Wudang will exist, and it'll be a place that you can visit on the planet.
22:41:47.000 Once again, more information exists about that.
22:41:49.000 Go to carpetec.com, click on AI to learn about the planet we're building, and Mount Wudang will come true there.
22:41:54.000 And also go to the Tales of Wudang story, read the tales, and watch the animated series.
22:41:58.000 And all the tales have an important lesson in them.
22:42:00.000 If you join the War Room, we discuss the tales at length, and we also talk about the lessons that are inside of them.
22:42:06.000 But if you read them, you should be able to decipher the lessons that are there for you.
22:42:10.000 $10 for tape ledge.
22:42:12.000 Thank you very much, Dylan.
22:42:14.000 Kareem, I was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer five months ago.
22:42:17.000 I want to let you know you both helped me stay strong and made me mentally stronger.
22:42:19.000 We're trying to beat this cancer.
22:42:20.000 Good.
22:42:23.000 Absolutely.
22:42:24.000 There's no advantage to being mentally weak in times of war.
22:42:27.000 No advantage whatsoever.
22:42:28.000 And being a defeatist, there's no advantage to that either.
22:42:30.000 So keep fighting, bro.
22:42:32.000 Andrew, Tristan, where's the best place to meet high-quality women?
22:42:34.000 Dive bars are usually filled with low-quality women and the regulars.
22:42:38.000 You think those type of women are really wifeable?
22:42:40.000 No.
22:42:40.000 Well, don't go to dive bars, Juan.
22:42:42.000 I don't believe if you're a man trying to socialize at all, you should be hanging out at dive bars.
22:42:46.000 It's not about low-quality women are there.
22:42:48.000 Low-quality people are there in general.
22:42:50.000 So Chief Brandon, the fact that you go to them tells me maybe you need to work on yourself a little bit.
22:42:55.000 If you were going to the higher class establishments, five-star hotels, hotel bars, drinking coffee, dress nice, you'd probably run into women that are of much higher quality.
22:43:03.000 So that's like saying, oh man, I'm trying to get healthy food, but there's just none at McDonald's.
22:43:08.000 I eat at McDonald's every day.
22:43:09.000 I like going to McDonald's.
22:43:10.000 I just can't find healthy food.
22:43:12.000 You're making the wrong choices in your life because you know you're looking in the wrong places, but you are also of the clientele of those places.
22:43:18.000 If you don't stand out there, if you don't look like you're out of place, maybe you work a bit harder, bro.
22:43:23.000 Vladzzz, tell Tristan the story of the man who sold cars again.
22:43:30.000 Magas Nondos.
22:43:31.000 I'm 21 years old.
22:43:32.000 I have to tell you a story.
22:43:33.000 I'm making 1.5k a month from passive income in Greece.
22:43:36.000 I'm inside HQ.
22:43:36.000 Am I doing good in life for a 21 year old?
22:43:38.000 I admire you guys a lot.
22:43:40.000 You don't need me to tell you whether you're doing good or not.
22:43:42.000 You probably know that yourself.
22:43:43.000 I don't know enough about your life.
22:43:44.000 1.5k a month.
22:43:45.000 Passive income.
22:43:46.000 Yeah, cool.
22:43:46.000 Are you also working?
22:43:47.000 Because that's still fucking nothing.
22:43:49.000 Although it's passive income.
22:43:50.000 Although it's, you know, money that you can, I guess, live on.
22:43:52.000 You could live off 1.5k a month.
22:43:54.000 It's still almost zero in the grand scheme of things.
22:43:57.000 So if you're not working 50 hours a week, no, you're not doing well in life because you're not living up to your full potential.
22:44:03.000 So I would say do better.
22:44:06.000 Thoughts on the Amish.
22:44:06.000 Their values are based on who is in their lives and not Where and which?
22:44:10.000 Kind of the same values you were talking about in jail from the slave mine.
22:44:13.000 Thoughts on the Amish?
22:44:14.000 The Amish are, as far as I know, good, God-fearing people.
22:44:17.000 In the 1980s you would have thought they were a bit crazier because the world was very... in the 1950s and 60s and 70s, certainly.
22:44:26.000 when the world was stable and nice and normal and men and women had marriages and had children and stuff, the Amish trying to abstain from all technology and abstain from the modern way of life seemed a bit crazier to me than it does in 2023. I feel like if you could take some Amish elders around and show them what has become of the world and they'd be truer in their convictions now than they would be in say the 1950s. True, but they're also still, and this is the thing where They're still relying on a degree of good grace from the government.
22:44:54.000 Yes.
22:44:55.000 They have no capability.
22:44:56.000 They have no financial means.
22:44:58.000 They have no physical capabilities.
22:44:59.000 They don't talk about physicality and the American government were to one day outlaw them.
22:45:03.000 They've had very little reproach or repercussions.
22:45:05.000 They wouldn't be able to do shit.
22:45:07.000 So when you're surviving based on charity, I don't think that's a good way to live.
22:45:11.000 So it's good that they focus on the who, but you should also be building up the what and the where's because you should be capable in all realms, especially when your enemies are capable in all realms and Darwin said it's the most adaptable that survive and I cannot imagine the Amish being very adaptable people.
22:45:26.000 Agreed.
22:45:28.000 Wendell says, wanting to give to Tate Pledge.
22:45:29.000 Been doing this 24 hours alongside you both.
22:45:31.000 I'm currently in 1115 push-up.
22:45:33.000 How is this only 190th of what you went through?
22:45:36.000 That's worth massive respect.
22:45:37.000 Yeah, I want all of you to understand that, to understand that the full ordeal of what we went through, this is not an entertainment episode of Tate Confidential.
22:45:46.000 This is not an informational episode of Emergency Meeting Podcast.
22:45:51.000 This is a recreation of what we went through in prison.
22:45:54.000 So to get the full Perspective of what we went through, you'd have to play this video to yourself 92 times in a row.
22:46:01.000 It would be a lot of the same that you've seen here.
22:46:04.000 Laying down, you know, moments of silence, quietly reading, smoking cigarettes, pacing back and forth, doing push-ups.
22:46:11.000 We didn't write a script for this.
22:46:12.000 We didn't want it to be entertainment value.
22:46:15.000 We wanted it to be very reflective of the true experience.
22:46:17.000 So if you have three months to waste, Watch this and lock yourself in your room and watch this 92 times in a row and then you'll understand what they put us through for absolutely nothing.
22:46:28.000 They've done damage to our lives, they've done damage to this country's reputation.
22:46:32.000 I don't quite understand why it's happened yet.
22:46:35.000 All I know is God is the best of planners and he will see me through this no matter what my enemies try to do.
22:46:42.000 The first place you'll visit after being released from house arrest was the mosque.
22:46:45.000 So can we consider that your next God willing, it's coming.
22:46:51.000 I'm being worked on.
22:46:52.000 God willing, it's going to come.
22:46:53.000 I'm a preferred food Gurkha and I'll- Being worked on, God willing it's gonna come.
22:46:58.000 Serenity now 830, no, just wanted to make you guys a contribution to take pledge.
22:47:03.000 You guys are legends.
22:47:04.000 We need more people that aren't scared to openly challenge the stats quo and promote traditional values.
22:47:07.000 Thank you, Serenity now.
22:47:08.000 You continue or I'll push off too.
22:47:13.000 I'm gonna do a fist and I'm gonna do a push off.
22:47:15.000 I have an athletic body, not jacked and improving my finances a lot.
22:47:18.000 I can't seem to find the attention of any female.
22:47:19.000 I'm alone and have urges and needs as a man.
22:47:23.000 That's a gay way to say it.
22:47:25.000 What do you suggest?
22:47:26.000 I suggest you become more important.
22:47:29.000 I suggest, firstly, you don't have urges and needs because that makes you sound like you're a coward to your urges and needs.
22:47:36.000 You are in control of every aspect of your life.
22:47:40.000 And obviously you're not as important as you need to be to have the things you want in life.
22:47:44.000 So clearly you need to become more important.
22:47:46.000 There is no shortcut to these things.
22:47:48.000 People ask me questions looking for a shortcut.
22:47:50.000 The difference between me and every other influencer is I'm not going to sit here and slam women, insult women, blame women.
22:47:56.000 Blame the world.
22:47:57.000 I don't blame on any of these things for the reason you're failing.
22:47:59.000 I've always only ever taught masculine excellence because the only answer I've managed to see genuinely works for the problems that you're facing in society today.
22:48:07.000 I'll chime in very quickly because I heard the way the question was phrased.
22:48:10.000 I have needs as a man.
22:48:12.000 It's phrased very badly.
22:48:13.000 And from that one line alone, I can tell there's something broken in your mindset and the way that you look at things.
22:48:20.000 Sexual access to a man is the most sacred thing that a woman can possibly give you.
22:48:26.000 You having needs as a man has nothing to do with the equation.
22:48:29.000 Absolutely nothing.
22:48:30.000 Because if I were sitting there in the middle of a field saying, I have needs as a man, I'm hungry.
22:48:34.000 I have needs as a man, I'm starving.
22:48:35.000 And I refuse to work.
22:48:36.000 And I refuse to plant.
22:48:37.000 And I refuse to plow.
22:48:38.000 And I refuse to farm.
22:48:39.000 And I refuse to grow anything.
22:48:41.000 Then who gives a shit that I have needs?
22:48:43.000 No one gives a shit.
22:48:44.000 Women don't give a shit.
22:48:45.000 I don't give a shit.
22:48:45.000 And Andrew doesn't give a shit.
22:48:47.000 You wouldn't talk in such a desperate way if you had a better outlook on what it is you were trying to achieve.
22:48:54.000 I don't like the way your question was phrased, frankly.
22:48:58.000 Hi, Olaf from the KSA.
22:49:00.000 Where's KSA?
22:49:02.000 Uh, I don't know.
22:49:04.000 Why do I feel KSA?
22:49:04.000 KSA.
22:49:05.000 Where's KSA?
22:49:05.000 I don't know.
22:49:09.000 Make a live stream showing the boring work you do to maintain your wealth and give a good idea of what rich men go through to stay rich.
22:49:14.000 Imagine this, but me sitting on a laptop.
22:49:16.000 It's this, but us on a laptop.
22:49:19.000 KSA is Saudi, bro.
22:49:20.000 Ah, nice respect.
22:49:22.000 Kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
22:49:23.000 Yeah, correct.
22:49:25.000 Thank you, bro.
22:49:25.000 I can't wait to visit Saudi.
22:49:26.000 We're going to come very soon.
22:49:28.000 Yeah, I'll be there.
22:49:30.000 And imagine this, but us on laptops.
22:49:32.000 That's it.
22:49:33.000 We work endlessly.
22:49:34.000 More comfortable chairs.
22:49:37.000 Hello, my name is Kuba.
22:49:38.000 Thanks for inspiring me and showing us how your life can look like if you work hard and become the best version of yourself.
22:49:42.000 Greetings from Poland.
22:49:44.000 Look forward to seeing you soon.
22:49:45.000 We're in Warsaw soon, God willing.
22:49:48.000 Stay strong, Top Gs.
22:49:50.000 Keep up the strong mentality.
22:49:51.000 Trust the process.
22:49:54.000 Hey Tate, I'm a 16 year old.
22:49:55.000 I'm making 20k a month in the real world and training every day to be the best shape of my life.
22:49:59.000 What do you recommend I do?
22:50:00.000 Cause I'm not old enough to join the war room.
22:50:02.000 You save your money.
22:50:02.000 You keep training, become an absolute animal.
22:50:04.000 And when you're 18, we'll be waiting for you inside of the war room.
22:50:06.000 Cause you still have a whole bunch more to learn.
22:50:08.000 It's good you're making 20k a month so young.
22:50:10.000 A lot of people think making money is hard.
22:50:11.000 Making money is actually extremely easy once you know how to do it.
22:50:14.000 If you're not making as much money as you want to make in the world today, it's completely your fault because I will teach you how to do it.
22:50:18.000 And it's not even difficult.
22:50:19.000 Making money is easy.
22:50:21.000 What's difficult after you make money is becoming the man that can do the kind of things that makes money worth having and also be the kind of handle the fact that you're rich completely.
22:50:31.000 It's like a fast car.
22:50:32.000 You have to be a very competent driver to drive the top of the range supercars.
22:50:35.000 And if you're making 20, $30,000 a month, and you're under 20 years old, you need to be working on being the type of man that can handle that without being hustled, without being robbed, without being gold dug, without being, you know, all the bad things that can happen to people with money.
22:50:48.000 Completely true.
22:50:49.000 So you have a whole lot more to learn.
22:50:51.000 So money is the easy part and anybody who's still struggling with money hasn't even passed the first level.
22:50:56.000 There's a hundred levels to life and money is level one and it's truly the easiest.
22:51:00.000 So I don't understand how anybody's struggling to make money today, especially when I'll teach you exactly how to do it.
22:51:04.000 And I'll teach you for less than your lunch inside the real world.
22:51:08.000 $100 for Tate Pledge.
22:51:10.000 Can you share all the books you have with you in jail?
22:51:11.000 Much love, Oliver Jackson.
22:51:14.000 We have the Koran, we have the Bible, we have From Russia with Love with Ian Fleming, the original Vaughan, we have The Life of the Prophet Muhammad by Iman Bin Qatir, and Karl von Clausewitz on War.
22:51:25.000 And of course, the Count of Monte Cristo, greatest book, my favorite book, my favorite fictional book.
22:51:31.000 Hello Andrew and Tristan, what's the most valuable lesson or insight you've gained from this experience?
22:51:35.000 Has this prison experience enhanced or deepened your brotherhood?
22:51:38.000 Well, that's easy.
22:51:39.000 Yes, it absolutely has enhanced or deepened our brotherhood.
22:51:41.000 It shows that as long as we're together, nothing can break us.
22:51:43.000 Ever.
22:51:45.000 What's the most valuable lesson or insight we gained from this experience?
22:51:48.000 There's been a whole bunch of lessons and insights, and I don't think I learned anything new as opposed to having things I already knew confirmed.
22:51:54.000 Yeah, I had a lot of things that I already knew about myself confirmed.
22:51:57.000 And also, I have no more fear of what they can do to me.
22:52:05.000 Now I feel like this persecution and the people who are involved in it are so fervently and adamantly obsessed with the idea of putting me in jail.
22:52:15.000 And I just know that these people's life sucks so much more than mine, even when I'm in jail.
22:52:20.000 So, uh... Yeah, their obsession is, uh... Their obsession is unhealthy.
22:52:24.000 It's unhealthy.
22:52:26.000 It's criminal, almost, because you shouldn't be throwing innocent men in jail, whoever's doing this to me, and I would say that.
22:52:32.000 Yeah, the reason they're doing it, I think, comes from a place of hatred.
22:52:35.000 I've learned that hatred is very destructive and hatred is very evil, because I've got nothing but love for everyone and anyone in the world who I come across.
22:52:42.000 And I could never do what has been done to me to anybody, for any reason.
22:52:47.000 Absolutely beautiful to see the power of masculinity and brotherhood, which you rarely could find anywhere else.
22:52:51.000 Shows the true power of the Force of Tate Brothers.
22:52:52.000 Thank you for your work.
22:52:54.000 All brothers should be as close as us, and I don't understand why they're not.
22:52:57.000 The main reason is usually when someone is obsessed with a woman or some female petty bullshit or dick measuring or garbage. You have enough enemies in the world, you can have an ally, you can have someone on your side and that's what brotherhood is all about.
22:53:06.000 Yeah.
22:53:07.000 Thank you.
22:53:08.000 Even if you just make fun of each other all day and tell each other to light themselves on fire.
22:53:11.000 Correct.
22:53:12.000 That's also love.
22:53:14.000 Thank you for your two sons, Andrew and Tristan.
22:53:16.000 Rest easy, sir.
22:53:18.000 Big G. Thank you for the dedication.
22:53:20.000 He was the Big G. Incorrect.
22:53:22.000 Yeah, and the movie, he ends up back with Mercedes.
22:53:23.000 It's a farce.
22:53:24.000 Incorrect. Counting Money Crystal, the best book ever written.
22:53:26.000 Yeah, in the movie he ends up back with Mercedes. It's a farce.
22:53:29.000 Like, the plot line's kinda good, but read the book. Trust me.
22:53:33.000 It'll take you about 56 hours on Audible, or probably 40 hours of actually reading.
22:53:38.000 Fuck the movie.
22:53:38.000 The book's the greatest.
22:53:40.000 The truth always wins.
22:53:41.000 The Matrix attacks are no match for you and Tristan's mental fortitude stays strong.
22:53:45.000 I love the best decliners.
22:53:46.000 Ryan.
22:53:46.000 Thank you very much, Ryan.
22:53:47.000 You're completely correct.
22:53:50.000 Thank you to both of you for showing me what true brotherhood bond looks like.
22:53:53.000 I never got to meet my brother before he committed suicide.
22:53:55.000 My mother kept us separate and denied he existed.
22:53:58.000 Sorry to hear that, bro.
22:53:59.000 Sorry to hear that, but you can make new brothers.
22:54:01.000 And the way you make brothers in the world, the most fantastic way to get what you want is to give what you want.
22:54:06.000 If you give love, you receive love.
22:54:07.000 If you give tolerance, you receive tolerance.
22:54:09.000 If you give respect, you get respect.
22:54:11.000 Exactly.
22:54:11.000 If you're a good brother to someone, you'll have a good brother back.
22:54:13.000 And maybe someone will screw you over, but you can't let that poison your heart and destroy who you are as a person.
22:54:18.000 Because I've got 10 brothers.
22:54:19.000 Yeah, we have a bunch of brothers inside the war room.
22:54:21.000 We have more than just us two.
22:54:23.000 $100 for tape pledge, again from OJ Rizzle, the same guy who asked for the books.
22:54:27.000 Thank you, bro.
22:54:28.000 What different cigarettes are you smoking?
22:54:30.000 How much stuff can you do with $100 for tape pledge?
22:54:32.000 We can do a lot with $100.
22:54:33.000 I think depending on which country, the meals cost between $1.50 up to $3.50, depending where.
22:54:38.000 So there's a lot of people eating.
22:54:41.000 75, 80 children sat around a big table.
22:54:43.000 Eating in your name.
22:54:44.000 So thank you, brother.
22:54:44.000 That means a lot.
22:54:45.000 We're smoking the same Cigarettes we got in jail.
22:54:49.000 Marlboro Storm Mist Cigarillos and Hard Chesterfields, which are a lot rougher.
22:54:56.000 Gotta mix it up.
22:54:57.000 $20.
22:54:59.000 Today I broke my record for a DB chest incline.
22:55:03.000 12 kilograms times 8.
22:55:04.000 For most that's easy.
22:55:05.000 For me it was tough.
22:55:06.000 I posted a video on X for users to see if I can do it.
22:55:08.000 You can too.
22:55:08.000 Thanks for the motivation.
22:55:09.000 Good.
22:55:10.000 Good for you bro.
22:55:10.000 Now you have a new record to beat.
22:55:11.000 Records must always be beaten.
22:55:13.000 You must always be pushing.
22:55:14.000 The only way to ensure you retain everything you have in life is to constantly be gaining and trying to achieve more and more.
22:55:19.000 Which is why when a guy in fantastic physical shape wants to retain his body, he still goes and tries to become stronger.
22:55:25.000 He tries to become bigger because it's a guarantee to retain.
22:55:27.000 Think of everything as rent that you're paying.
22:55:29.000 Whether it be your mind, you have to keep reading and keep learning and keep Expanding your knowledge of the world, otherwise you stagnate and you lose it.
22:55:36.000 Same with your physical fitness, same with your relationship with your brother, or your friends, or your wife, or your girlfriend.
22:55:42.000 Same with business relationships, same with your company.
22:55:44.000 Everything is rented.
22:55:46.000 In 200 years, your company, your girlfriend, none of these things will exist anymore.
22:55:50.000 You have to work to maintain them to the highest standard possible while you're still here and alive and breathing.
22:55:56.000 Absolutely, that would be true.
22:55:57.000 How many have you got left?
22:56:00.000 Any questions I've got left?
22:56:03.000 886.
22:56:03.000 Nice!
22:56:03.000 886. Nice! Woo!
22:56:07.000 Woo!
22:56:17.000 uh
22:56:36.000 so
22:56:58.000 God's always watching.
22:57:09.000 uh uh Thank you.
22:57:35.000 Leave these?
22:57:37.000 Yeah.
22:57:41.000 I don't have your letter.
22:58:06.000 9-11, eh?
22:58:06.000 7-1.
22:58:09.000 71.
22:58:11.000 Nothing about time in jail.
22:58:29.000 No excuse not to do a thousand push-ups a day in jail.
22:58:34.000 You can do 400 a day in a normal life, but in jail is no excuse.
22:58:39.000 In jail you have time.
22:58:41.000 And let me tell you something to you young men out there.
22:58:43.000 Young men, most of you are in jail.
22:58:46.000 I'll explain something.
22:58:48.000 Totally true.
22:58:49.000 Twelve years ago, I lived in a one-bedroom apartment with Andrew.
22:58:55.000 I had no money, no gas in the car, nothing to do.
22:58:59.000 There was nothing to do.
22:59:01.000 I had a slight bit more entertainment in jail.
22:59:03.000 I could have played video games.
22:59:04.000 I didn't.
22:59:05.000 The point is, most of you young men are in jail.
22:59:08.000 You can't go out.
22:59:09.000 You can't do anything.
22:59:10.000 You can't do anything worthwhile.
22:59:11.000 You can't put on any nice clothes that cost any money.
22:59:14.000 You can't drive your car.
22:59:15.000 You are in jail.
22:59:16.000 Do a thousand push-ups.
22:59:18.000 If you're at home all day, and you find yourself at home all day, and you'd love to go out and do things, but you can't, you are in jail.
22:59:24.000 That's what jail means.
22:59:26.000 It may not have as solid walls as some of the jails I've been in, but I'm telling you, it's got invisible walls.
22:59:32.000 You can't just go to the south of France right now.
22:59:34.000 Why?
22:59:35.000 Because you're in jail.
22:59:36.000 You're confined.
22:59:38.000 One thing or another has confined you.
22:59:39.000 You're confined in one way or another.
22:59:41.000 And that's why I laugh at a lot of my Inlanders haters.
22:59:44.000 When I have fun in house arrest, I'm like, you're under house arrest.
22:59:49.000 You're confined to house arrest basically for your entire life.
22:59:52.000 Maybe on your wife's birthday, you could take her out to fucking Chili's.
22:59:56.000 But besides that, you're under house arrest anyway, or you're locked in your office.
23:00:01.000 Yes, young men, many of you are in fact in jail.
23:00:06.000 So a thousand push-ups a day.
23:00:07.000 No excuses.
23:00:08.000 Agreed.
23:00:09.000 That's what jail means.
23:00:13.000 Many different forms of jail, bruh.
23:00:17.000 Some people have no freedom at all.
23:00:20.000 Despite the fact that they've never been victim of a judicial system, or a false accuser, or anything that can get them thrown in jail.
23:00:28.000 Didn't do for you at all.
23:00:30.000 So I take 92 days and one hour left.
23:00:56.000 Fucking hell, bro.
23:00:58.000 Fucking hell.
23:01:00.000 It's insane, isn't it?
23:01:02.000 92.
23:01:04.000 So I take 92 days and one hour left.
23:01:06.000 I'm going to die.
23:01:20.000 I warm down my fingernail when it hurts.
23:01:42.000 You know, therapy.
23:01:46.000 I have to give credit to the team, Andrew.
23:01:48.000 This was a sick video.
23:01:50.000 I'm going to die.
23:01:52.000 I'm going to die.
23:01:54.000 It's close to as makes no difference, Jail.
23:01:58.000 Literally.
23:01:59.000 I have to give credit to the team.
23:02:01.000 Yeah, this was Jail.
23:02:02.000 The shouting, the music playing, the guards ransacking your room, the guards being rude and throwing your stuff on the floor.
23:02:09.000 It's... They really did nail it.
23:02:12.000 I'm very happy.
23:02:13.000 I explained what Jail was like and left it down to my team.
23:02:16.000 The crappy potato soup.
23:02:19.000 Like... 100% Jail.
23:02:23.000 Today I could have eaten nothing but steak and caviar and champagne and strawberries.
23:02:27.000 And I ate two bowls of potato soup, a potato, some ramen noodles and an egg.
23:02:32.000 Authenticity is what matters.
23:02:34.000 My Count of Monte Cristo revenge moment is coming up.
23:02:47.000 I'm going to do a little bit of a workout.
23:03:14.000 No time to be sad, there's push-ups to be done.
23:03:16.000 Exactly.
23:03:16.000 way. Can't be sad when there's push-ups to be done.
23:03:29.000 Because at the end of the push-ups, there's happiness.
23:03:36.000 Exactly.
23:03:37.000 Correct.
23:03:39.000 Okay.
23:03:42.000 Okay.
23:03:45.000 Yeah.
23:03:48.000 Okay.
23:03:51.000 The dance of medieval Correspondent Jose Carl.
23:05:09.000 That's all I remember.
23:05:18.000 Oh, is that it?
23:05:19.000 Oh, that's it?
23:05:20.000 I think it's Aikido.
23:05:25.000 It sounds super like that.
23:05:27.000 Yeah.
23:05:28.000 But you have to be a really ugly Spanish girl.
23:05:31.000 We got Jackie doing.
23:05:33.000 I'm going to do it.
23:06:05.000 Ah!
23:06:06.000 That's confusing.
23:06:07.000 What do you got?
23:06:07.000 Keto?
23:06:08.000 It's too complicated.
23:06:10.000 Ah!
23:06:11.000 That's confusing.
23:06:16.000 Everyone's got to keep those arms.
23:06:17.000 It's called the A.
23:06:18.000 It's called the A for me.
23:06:20.000 Best music ever.
23:06:34.000 ["Maria de Sofia"]
23:06:39.000 ["Maria de Sofia"]
23:06:44.000 Oh, my favorite song's over.
23:07:06.000 Devastated.
23:07:07.000 Devastated.
23:07:09.000 Oh, more push-ups.
23:07:10.000 Oh, push-ups.
23:07:11.000 More important than me walking around doing the dance?
23:07:12.000 Yes.
23:07:14.000 You're right, I forgot about leaning.
23:07:33.000 Forgot about leaning.
23:07:35.000 I have seven push-ups left.
23:07:37.000 And now, at the end of my incarceration, having dealt with all I've dealt with, will let the viewers know my Count of Monte Cristo revenge plot comes full circle on the man who upset me.
23:07:57.000 On the man who everything that bad has happened in my life It's his fault.
23:08:02.000 I remember trying to rest, and this man did a thousand push-ups, and started screaming about how noodles in a cup were superior to noodles in a bowl.
23:08:11.000 Well, I have seven push-ups remaining, my friend.
23:08:15.000 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.
23:08:22.000 One thousand and one push-ups.
23:08:24.000 Noodles are better in a bowl.
23:08:28.000 How does that make you feel?
23:08:30.000 Like a saber strength to the heart!
23:08:32.000 I feel terrible.
23:08:34.000 You should!
23:08:36.000 One thousand and one push-ups!
23:08:39.000 I could just do two push-ups.
23:08:40.000 No, you can't, because I got you.
23:08:43.000 I got you now.
23:08:45.000 You did your push-ups a long while ago.
23:08:47.000 Your time to shine is over.
23:08:50.000 The floor is mine.
23:08:51.000 You have officially handed over the push-up floor.
23:08:54.000 And I hand it back.
23:08:56.000 One thousand and one push-ups.
23:08:58.000 Noodles are better in bowls.
23:09:01.000 I think I was going to have to eat that up with a bowl.
23:09:04.000 I'm not going to lie, I do feel very sad.
23:09:09.000 Yeah, I'm sure.
23:09:10.000 I'm sure you feel morally, intellectually defeated. What you've done is devastating.
23:09:15.000 Yeah, I know.
23:09:23.000 I'm going to lean this out.
23:09:25.000 I finished my 1001 push-ups.
23:09:27.000 If you're at home and you've not done 1001 pushups, then you're a bitch ass.
23:09:37.000 Thank you.
23:09:39.000 No escape.
23:09:40.000 While in jail.
23:09:41.000 There's no reason why not to do a thousand push-ups.
23:09:44.000 And of the however many of you watching this, thousands of you are in jail.
23:09:47.000 So do your goddamn push-ups.
23:09:49.000 Most people's lives are in jail.
23:09:52.000 Damn right.
23:09:53.000 Especially all the people who hate us.
23:09:56.000 They're not in jail.
23:09:57.000 Or the liberal men who say we deserve to go to jail because we're a webcam company who also jerk off to webcams.
23:10:01.000 Oh yeah, them.
23:10:02.000 Yeah.
23:10:02.000 Yeah.
23:10:03.000 Claps.
23:10:03.000 The porn-addicted freaks who completely fuel the industry with their money, who say that women are autonomous and can do anything they like without judgment when we hired webcam models, which has nothing to do with our current case that these guys obsess over and jerk off over.
23:10:21.000 I think we should go to jail, yeah.
23:10:23.000 Even though that has nothing to do with our case, yeah.
23:10:26.000 Yeah, 100%.
23:10:26.000 Those people.
23:10:27.000 They are in jail.
23:10:28.000 What did I even say?
23:10:41.000 No, bless my yawn.
23:10:47.000 You cannot defeat the slave programming of your week.
23:10:53.000 **whistle** **whistle** Thousand push-ups!
23:11:14.000 Woo!
23:11:14.000 Productive day in jail!
23:11:15.000 I fucking love jail!
23:11:18.000 Hand me this fucking coffee, you loser!
23:11:24.000 I'll feed you coffee.
23:11:25.000 No, no, I'm gonna stop.
23:11:26.000 Here you go.
23:11:30.000 I'm about to do it.
23:11:31.000 Man up!
23:11:31.000 Because you did it, but I don't want to do it.
23:11:33.000 You want therapy?
23:11:36.000 No, I don't want therapy.
23:11:37.000 I don't want coffee either.
23:11:41.000 Therapy and a cup of tea.
23:11:43.000 Therapy and all the chocolate.
23:11:44.000 What are you, Marcel?
23:11:47.000 Loser?
23:11:50.000 Now we're talking.
23:11:52.000 Woo!
23:11:55.000 Laser eye focus.
23:11:56.000 Back into the real world, Andrew.
23:11:58.000 We're back.
23:12:01.000 Coming out of jail the first time was insane.
23:12:22.000 Crowds of people screaming, Top G, Top G, Top G. I knew that was just the beginning of our redemption, Arkendru.
23:12:30.000 I knew.
23:12:31.000 Because I don't say anything, I'm not a doctor.
23:12:33.000 I knew there'd be smart people out there who wanted to know what goes on.
23:12:36.000 People smart and diligent enough, like Hendrix Owens, who actually digs up what's going on and shows the whole world.
23:12:44.000 Merge ma casa, Mustafa!
23:12:46.000 I'm going to a new jail, man!
23:12:48.000 Mbarre rau, merge ma casa!
23:12:49.000 Write to me!
23:12:50.000 Funny thing is, this Mustafa doesn't speak Romanian.
23:12:52.000 Take the Matrix forever!
23:12:55.000 I'm telling him we're going home.
23:12:56.000 Fuck the Matrix!
23:12:56.000 I'm sorry.
23:12:57.000 Fuck the Matrix, bro.
23:12:58.000 Goodbye forever, guys!
23:13:00.000 Write to me!
23:13:01.000 No!
23:13:01.000 I love you, Andrew Tate!
23:13:03.000 We'll definitely write to you, bro.
23:13:04.000 Yeah.
23:13:06.000 Nice knowing you.
23:13:09.000 Good jail friends.
23:13:10.000 I'm going to write to our jail friends, actually.
23:13:12.000 Not him.
23:13:13.000 But you know what?
23:13:15.000 Being in jail for 24 hours has made me realize, those dudes we were with, they're still there.
23:13:19.000 still there. I'm gonna write them a letter.
23:13:23.000 Yeah, I know some guys need to write letters too.
23:13:30.000 Remember, I said at the beginning of this stream, no matter where you are, if you're in a city, unless you live out in the countryside, if you're in a city, you're just a couple miles away, maybe just a couple blocks away, from a room full of men who you will never meet.
23:13:42.000 I pray you better not meet them, because there's only one place to meet them.
23:13:45.000 And it ain't the fucking local cafe.
23:13:48.000 It's jail.
23:13:49.000 It's jail.
23:13:50.000 Jail men.
23:13:51.000 and some of them are innocent.
23:13:53.000 There are jail men all over this world.
23:14:01.000 Men packed together living in squalor.
23:14:04.000 And most of them deserve it, which is the good news.
23:14:07.000 The good news is most of them deserve it.
23:14:09.000 mean and you do not tolerate criminality or criminal behavior that's 45 minutes in jail and what we're discussing Discussed a lot of very important things.
23:14:27.000 Do you know why we had to go to jail?
23:14:29.000 Do you know why we had to go to jail?
23:14:31.000 Why it was important on our life mission that we... No.
23:14:34.000 Do you know why the Matrix had to send us to jail from their perspective?
23:14:37.000 Why?
23:14:38.000 Because Tom Holland got bummed in a movie.
23:14:40.000 Ah, yeah, I forgot.
23:14:43.000 But I also think... I say God is the best of planners.
23:14:48.000 You say Allah is the best of planners.
23:14:52.000 I feel jail was good for me.
23:14:55.000 Everything bad that's happened to us was good for us.
23:14:58.000 Everything bad that's ever happened to us helps you grow.
23:15:01.000 Everything bad that's ever happened to me was good for me.
23:15:03.000 I'm a more complete and more well-rounded man since being falsely imprisoned in jail for a crime that doesn't exist.
23:15:10.000 Correct.
23:15:11.000 Not a crime I didn't do.
23:15:14.000 Not a crime that I'm innocent of.
23:15:16.000 A crime that doesn't exist.
23:15:18.000 No one was trafficked.
23:15:20.000 They didn't get the wrong guy.
23:15:21.000 It's a completely made-up crime that never took place.
23:15:26.000 So yeah, but going to jail has only made me stronger and more powerful and a more feared opponent in every realm of human endeavor.
23:15:35.000 Correct.
23:15:36.000 Bad things are supposed to happen to us.
23:15:38.000 Poor man.
23:15:40.000 In December they picked me up and they said, night in jail.
23:15:43.000 I was like, okay, we'll see.
23:15:44.000 See what happens.
23:15:45.000 They said a month in jail.
23:15:46.000 I said, fuck, I can't do a month in jail.
23:15:48.000 Shit, I didn't think I'd mentally break, I was just like, my life, I don't know how to hold things together, a month in jail for such a long time.
23:15:54.000 I don't fear your stupid pathetic weapon.
23:15:56.000 You wanna fucking make up fake crimes, called bank robbery next, put me in jail.
23:16:01.000 Fuckers.
23:16:07.000 They can't stop me from smoking cigarettes.
23:16:09.000 Sure you can.
23:16:10.000 Can't take my cigarettes away.
23:16:11.000 I always report cigarettes.
23:16:12.000 Always.
23:16:13.000 We doing jail again next month?
23:16:42.000 We'll see.
23:16:44.000 I spent my last little bit in jail.
23:16:58.000 Bye.
23:17:00.000 Having a nice, relaxing nap.
23:17:03.000 Goodnight.
23:17:05.000 Goodnight, world.
23:17:07.000 Hope you enjoyed this 24 hour Tate special jail adventure.
23:17:11.000 Couldn't do that in the real jail.
23:17:17.000 Yeah.
23:17:19.000 The beds were thinner or something, or too close to the wall.
23:17:22.000 Still hurts my fingers.
23:17:23.000 Couldn't get enough purchase.
23:17:25.000 They don't want you to have anything to hang yourself on so it's hard to get grip on anything.
23:17:29.000 The hit of coffee really relaxed me.
23:17:55.000 I don't feel physically sick with a spinning head.
23:17:58.000 I feel nice and mellow and chilled.
23:18:00.000 Is that a thing?
23:18:09.000 What?
23:18:09.000 Loads of raw coffee granules, yeah.
23:18:12.000 We've almost used that whole jar of coffee.
23:18:14.000 So?
23:18:16.000 Yeah, almost.
23:18:16.000 What are we, pussies?
23:18:18.000 Half a jar in a day.
23:18:19.000 What is this, amateur?
23:18:21.000 Amateur hour?
23:18:21.000 Those are rookie numbers.
23:18:22.000 numbers. Go pump those numbers up. No?
23:18:44.000 Admit I don't have a face.
23:18:49.000 This is your ancestors.
23:18:51.000 Light yourself on fire.
23:18:54.000 I'm thinking about lighting myself on fire.
23:18:56.000 That's a really good idea.
23:18:57.000 You think?
23:18:57.000 Yeah.
23:18:58.000 Who do you think wants me to do it?
23:19:00.000 our ancestors.
23:19:01.000 I think I should do it.
23:19:07.000 Thank you.
23:19:08.000 Thank you.
23:19:09.000 It's a good way to end the stream.
23:19:11.000 It would be interesting.
23:19:12.000 What are the downsides?
23:19:13.000 Burning and dying, only two.
23:19:14.000 But the upsides are, it looks cool.
23:19:16.000 Loads of views, go viral.
23:19:17.000 Goes viral.
23:19:18.000 Because we need to go viral because, you know, we need to do stupid shit for views because we have nothing interesting to say.
23:19:22.000 Nice and warm, comfy and warm.
23:19:24.000 Nice and comfy and warm.
23:19:25.000 Never be cold again for the rest of your life.
23:19:27.000 I'll be warm to the end of my life if I set myself on fire, that's true.
23:19:30.000 I'll never be cold again for the rest of my life.
23:19:31.000 That's got to be an upside.
23:19:32.000 That is an upside.
23:19:33.000 You'll never be cold again because you hate the cold.
23:19:35.000 I do hate the cold, yeah.
23:19:38.000 Interesting.
23:19:39.000 If there were another way to make sure that you were never cold for the rest of your life, you'd do it.
23:19:43.000 But I think this may be the only way.
23:19:45.000 It would guarantee that I'm never cold again for the rest of my life.
23:19:48.000 Ever.
23:19:49.000 Ever.
23:19:50.000 All I have to do is set myself on fire.
23:19:51.000 Everything will be fine.
23:19:52.000 Until I'm dead.
23:19:53.000 Yes.
23:19:55.000 Interesting.
23:19:56.000 I'm strongly considering it.
23:19:57.000 Well, there are plenty of idiots who set themselves on fire for YouTube views.
23:20:01.000 Have you seen it?
23:20:02.000 No.
23:20:03.000 Retards!
23:20:04.000 They put like alcohol on their head or on their ass and you try and light it on fire and then they fucking run around like jackasses getting third-degree burns.
23:20:11.000 Really?
23:20:12.000 Yeah, it's a real phenomenon.
23:20:13.000 The world's fucked, bro.
23:20:19.000 Yeah, the world is fucked, isn't it, my friend?
23:20:21.000 It's normal, people.
23:20:23.000 Gotta keep fighting the good fight.
23:20:25.000 Against the degeneracies of the world.
23:20:29.000 Keep people in the straight and narrow.
23:20:33.000 I'll have to go to jail once a month for the rest of my life.
23:20:36.000 I'll do it.
23:20:38.000 Nice 24 hour jail stream.
23:20:39.000 I think it might be a thousand squats next time I'm in jail though.
23:20:48.000 Yeah.
23:20:51.000 Nice one thousand squats.
23:20:57.000 Yeah.
23:20:57.000 Did a thousand push-ups each, didn't we?
23:21:01.000 True.
23:21:01.000 Well, I actually did 1001 because noodles need to be eaten from bowls.
23:21:06.000 And to prove that I was morally superior to you, I suffered more.
23:21:11.000 We're going to do a poll.
23:21:12.000 We're going to ask the world if noodles belong in bowls or cups.
23:21:15.000 Okay.
23:21:16.000 Find Andrew on Twitter.
23:21:17.000 I'll retweet it.
23:21:20.000 When you get devastated, the loser has to set himself on fire.
23:21:26.000 Deal?
23:21:27.000 Deal.
23:21:29.000 I'm in.
23:21:30.000 Sign me up.
23:21:32.000 That's what I'm talking about.
23:21:36.000 What am I going to do when I'm out of jail this time?
23:21:40.000 Here's what I'm going to do.
23:21:42.000 I'm going to get the boys because I missed them.
23:21:44.000 I'm going to sit around the table and have a nice cold glass of wine.
23:21:50.000 You can have a cigar and an espresso because you need some more coffee.
23:21:54.000 I'm going to sit and smoke cigars and talk about why life is great and share knowledge and information Because that's the best thing to do in life.
23:22:07.000 That's what I plan to do, my friend.
23:22:09.000 Could even watch a movie.
23:22:19.000 Thank you.
23:22:20.000 Bye.
23:22:21.000 Nah, movies are a waste of time.
23:22:26.000 Oh, there is a movie that we have to see together, though.
23:22:28.000 Sounds really good.
23:22:30.000 Ant-Man and the Wasp.
23:22:33.000 You in?
23:22:33.000 That does not sound good.
23:22:35.000 Doesn't it?
23:22:36.000 It's Ant-Man, Andrew.
23:22:40.000 I think we need to watch Ant-Man and the Wasp, personally.
23:22:42.000 What do you think?
23:22:50.000 Ant-Man and the Wasp?
23:23:02.000 And I'm going to go ahead and close this.
23:23:05.000 Avatar 2?
23:23:06.000 Pretend to be someone else?
23:23:07.000 Pretend to be a big blue chick.
23:23:09.000 Final thoughts on Neil deGrasse Tyson's selling out to anti-science.
23:23:23.000 Thanks.
23:23:23.000 Bye.
23:23:24.000 Thank you.
23:23:25.000 Bro, if your brand is science, you can't... What the fuck is wrong with these people?
23:23:30.000 That's what I said.
23:23:31.000 His brand is science, dude.
23:23:32.000 That's what I said.
23:23:33.000 Only one man.
23:23:33.000 Only Richard Dawkins is holding the line.
23:23:36.000 It's not like his brand is something else and he's just commenting on unrelated issues.
23:23:40.000 Yeah, his brand is science and truth.
23:23:42.000 He was on the board that demoted Pluto as a planet.
23:23:44.000 Why?
23:23:45.000 Because Pluto's technically not a planet, so we have to... Is he an atheist, Neil deGrasse?
23:23:49.000 I have no idea what his beliefs are.
23:23:52.000 I have no idea what his beliefs are.
23:23:55.000 I will say at least Richard Dawkins stuck to his guns when asked about male and female and gender.
23:24:00.000 He's like, no, no, there's only two.
23:24:02.000 Of course there's only two.
23:24:03.000 I'm a biologist.
23:24:05.000 Fair play.
23:24:06.000 Nice grumpy old English man.
23:24:08.000 Yeah.
23:24:10.000 Also, butthurt.
23:24:11.000 All of them are Trump butthurts.
23:24:13.000 Why are they so butthurt about Trump?
23:24:16.000 Sam Harris is the biggest fucking idiot.
23:24:18.000 What's he famous for again?
23:24:19.000 I don't even know.
23:24:20.000 Isn't he supposed to be an intellectual?
23:24:21.000 Because everything he says sounds stupid.
23:24:23.000 What if COVID was 100% fatal and vaccines were 100% safe?
23:24:28.000 Mate, if ifs and buts were candies and nuts... Dummy.
23:24:31.000 Shut the fuck up.
23:24:32.000 Yeah, you retarded.
23:24:36.000 What kind of stupid argument is this?
23:24:37.000 Because you're a clown.
23:24:39.000 What if McDonald's was 100% healthy and laying on the couch helped you build muscle?
23:24:43.000 Then you two wouldn't be so against eating McDonald's every day and laying on the couch, would you?
23:24:49.000 Well, no.
23:24:50.000 But we're talking about a hypothetical reality that doesn't exist.
23:24:55.000 And just because you were super pro laying on the couch and eating McDonald's for fucking a year because you were terrified and masking up does not mean you could give me impossible hypotheticals and pretend that that's the real universe, Sam Harris, you fucking DNG.
23:25:09.000 He's a DNG.
23:25:10.000 He's a DNG!
23:25:12.000 Anyone who thinks he's smart is a DNG too.
23:25:14.000 He's not smart, isn't he?
23:25:17.000 There's a problem with weaklings.
23:25:18.000 They don't really understand the world, no matter how much they read, because they're weaklings.
23:25:21.000 Yeah, they're weaklings.
23:25:22.000 They don't understand the world.
23:25:24.000 I didn't really know who he was until Trump was running and he became a super anti-Trump guy.
23:25:29.000 That's when he first came to my attention.
23:25:33.000 Nerd.
23:25:34.000 He's a nerd, isn't he?
23:25:36.000 He's a nerd.
23:25:36.000 And you can be a nerd without being smart.
23:25:39.000 Yeah, you can be a nerd without being smart.
23:25:40.000 It's easy.
23:25:40.000 I'm just a nerd.
23:25:41.000 The world's full of them.
23:25:44.000 Midwit nerds.
23:25:45.000 Yeah, midwit nerds.
23:25:48.000 Middle brains.
23:25:48.000 Let me tell you something, you can be educated without being smart.
23:25:52.000 Intelligence and education are two very different things.
23:25:54.000 100%.
23:25:54.000 I'll sit down with anybody and bury them in intellectual arguments that I'm technically uneducated.
23:26:00.000 I've got a master's degree in... In what?
23:26:02.000 Being propaganda?
23:26:04.000 Yeah, and you might not be.
23:26:05.000 There's a 1% chance that you're a top 1% intellect person, but the fact that you've got your degree doesn't increase that.
23:26:10.000 You're probably a dummy, because everyone's dumb.
23:26:13.000 The smartest people didn't need a degree.
23:26:14.000 Yeah, exactly. You're a bunch of dummies with degrees. You can buy an education, you can't buy intellect.
23:26:42.000 Those are the type of people we won't never listen to, by the way.
23:26:44.000 If someone says they're smarter than you and then starts citing their education, they're actually just proving that they're probably not smarter than you.
23:26:56.000 If they say they're more educated than you and say they have a different cool, fine.
23:27:00.000 If they say they're smarter than you and cite their education as proof, you should dismiss these types of people.
23:27:10.000 A street pimp from the United States named Pimpin' Ken, who used to be famous.
23:27:15.000 He was in a bunch of music videos and stuff back when 50 Cent was big.
23:27:19.000 He once said, if you knew better, you'd do better.
23:27:24.000 And to me, that's one of the most truthful things in the world.
23:27:28.000 There'll be people out there being like, oh, I love to debate the tapes because I know about this and that, and they're not actually that smart and blah, blah, blah.
23:27:34.000 And these people, like, try to be rich.
23:27:36.000 They're driving like a nice Mercedes and shit.
23:27:38.000 If you knew better than me, you'd do better than me.
23:27:42.000 How are you sitting there with no viewers, no subscribers, no one wants to listen to you, so you haven't got the respect I have, you've got nowhere near the money I have, you can't do the stuff I have, you're nowhere near as successful as me in any realm of life.
23:27:57.000 Talking about smarter than.
23:27:59.000 You clearly don't know better.
23:28:02.000 If you knew better, you'd do better.
23:28:05.000 Pimpin' Ken.
23:28:06.000 Remember that quote.
23:28:07.000 Because anytime there's anyone, because hate always comes from below, doing far worse than you in life, talking shit about how they know better than you, and how you're not smart, and how their worldview is better.
23:28:19.000 Cool, then why is your life so shit?
23:28:22.000 Because I'm telling you, my life's fucking perfect.
23:28:25.000 Dorks.
23:28:26.000 Nerds.
23:28:27.000 Geeks.
23:28:28.000 DNGs.
23:28:28.000 DNGs.
23:28:31.000 It's a very good quote.
23:28:33.000 Very underrated.
23:28:34.000 And I don't even know An intellectual equivalent of that.
23:28:40.000 I only know if you knew better, you'd do better.
23:28:42.000 No one's ever said anything like it in a better way.
23:28:45.000 Does that make sense?
23:28:46.000 I know of.
23:28:49.000 Bro, do you remember in jail when we found out we were going home?
23:28:52.000 Yeah, I remember.
23:28:54.000 Fucking hell.
23:28:56.000 When we found out we were going home from jail.
23:28:58.000 It was crazy.
23:28:59.000 We were dancing around the room.
23:29:07.000 It's crazy these days.
23:29:08.000 We were doing the new Rolls Royce dance, which I can't really remember.
23:29:11.000 What's this?
23:29:11.000 It was like... What's the new Rolls Royce dance?
23:29:14.000 Ah, I shan't to remind myself.
23:29:15.000 It's been a while since I've done Rolls.
23:29:16.000 So let's buy one next week.
23:29:17.000 Let's buy a new Rolls Royce and we can remember that.
23:29:19.000 And then the dance just comes to you?
23:29:20.000 I think it does.
23:29:23.000 You know it's... You say, Luke, have you ever bought a new Rolls Royce?
23:29:25.000 And he says no.
23:29:26.000 And you say, loser!
23:29:27.000 Yeah.
23:29:27.000 And you call him a loser.
23:29:29.000 Hang on.
23:29:29.000 He's a fucking loser.
23:29:29.000 Do you have a cousin?
23:29:30.000 I don't have a cousin.
23:29:32.000 You don't have a cousin?
23:29:35.000 I don't have any cousins.
23:29:36.000 You don't have a cousin?
23:29:38.000 You know, the crazy thing is, me and you don't run away from problems, ever.
23:29:43.000 It was said in court.
23:29:45.000 If you release these guys from prison, they're gonna run away from the country via helicopter, because they're rich, and they're gonna interfere with the case.
23:29:52.000 But I wouldn't.
23:29:52.000 I did nothing.
23:29:54.000 Broke zero rules.
23:29:54.000 Stayed in my house.
23:29:56.000 The judges who let me go, I respect them enough not to break any of their rules.
23:29:59.000 And then the next week, they're saying, you can't release them from house arrest, because they'll escape and not interfere with the case.
23:30:05.000 I'm like, you said that last week!
23:30:07.000 About jail!
23:30:09.000 And now we're free to go around the city, and we heard the arguments that we'd somehow escape the country, what, run away from what?
23:30:18.000 My daughter and my, all the money they took from me and my house and my home.
23:30:23.000 We're running away from shit.
23:30:25.000 What?
23:30:25.000 Some false allegation, bullshit, TikTok nonsense.
23:30:29.000 Fuck yourself.
23:30:31.000 So when they do let me go and let me travel, I'm coming straight back whenever they ask to see me, because I want to clear my fucking name.
23:30:38.000 See, a lot of people don't understand, a lot of nerds don't understand how important your name is to you.
23:30:43.000 Most of my fans know Tristan Tate and Andrew Tate as upstanding characters and law-abiding citizens in this world, but there are haters in this world convinced I'm a criminal.
23:30:52.000 No, I don't want you putting fucking smoke on my name.
23:30:54.000 I don't want you telling, even thinking that I'm a bad person.
23:30:58.000 So you can think I'm a bad person as much as you like after I clear my name, fuckers.
23:31:04.000 But you can't do this.
23:31:06.000 I bet I could.
23:31:07.000 But... No.
23:31:08.000 But you can't do it.
23:31:09.000 I mean, I have no legs.
23:31:11.000 Give me a cigarette.
23:31:13.000 No, I have no head.
23:31:14.000 Give me the cigarettes.
23:31:14.000 No, I have no head.
23:31:15.000 You have no head.
23:31:16.000 Give me the cigarettes.
23:31:17.000 Say that again?
23:31:17.000 You have no head.
23:31:19.000 No face.
23:31:19.000 And there's a lighter there as well, by the way.
23:31:21.000 Ah, you have a lighter as well.
23:31:22.000 I mean, I have no arms.
23:31:23.000 You have no arms.
23:31:23.000 Isn't that it?
23:31:24.000 Isn't that it?
23:31:25.000 I could have thrown you an empty packet there and bought you, but I didn't get to because of the time.
23:31:29.000 Under the chair there are cigarettes you must have dropped.
23:31:31.000 Under the chair.
23:31:33.000 Under the chair.
23:31:35.000 Where are those cigarettes?
23:31:36.000 I think they're over there.
23:31:39.000 Tristan wants to have a smoke.
23:31:41.000 So he said, I have no legs.
23:31:44.000 Where are the cigarettes?
23:31:45.000 They are under the chair.
23:31:47.000 Under the chair.
23:31:49.000 Under the chair.
23:31:56.000 Oops.
23:31:57.000 Under the chair.
23:31:59.000 Tristan needs to smoke.
23:32:00.000 Where are the cigarettes over there?
23:32:04.000 Tristan said, I have no legs.
23:32:06.000 Outside of jail, they work all day.
23:32:08.000 Inside this cell, I smoke a pipe.
23:32:13.000 They can all break me.
23:32:15.000 I'm just a tape me on the door, girl.
23:32:17.000 I'm...
23:32:17.000 Whistling I'm gonna go left in jail.
23:32:24.000 I'm gonna go left in jail.
23:32:31.000 Good break for the court's decision, mate.
23:32:36.000 Good break for the court's decision.
23:32:38.000 Mr. Producer!
23:32:41.000 No, Mr. Producer.
23:32:56.000 I am.
23:33:00.000 You're not today.
23:33:01.000 You have Mr. Produced none of this episode.
23:33:04.000 Wrong.
23:33:05.000 You've been Mr. Jail.
23:33:06.000 Wrong.
23:33:08.000 I did all that you noticed.
23:33:11.000 We have no access to electronics.
23:33:12.000 Even when we went to the police station, we didn't touch electronics.
23:33:15.000 What time is it?
23:33:20.000 Why can't you answer me?
23:33:24.000 Everyone's fooling over.
23:33:25.000 You are so funny.
23:33:31.000 23 minutes left in jail.
23:33:33.000 What do we discuss for the next 23 minutes?
23:33:35.000 What is there to discuss?
23:33:52.000 I'm bored of talking to you guys.
23:33:53.000 God knows how I did for 93 days.
23:33:56.000 Was it 92 or 93?
23:33:56.000 Were we released on the 93rd?
23:33:59.000 Were there 92 full days?
23:34:00.000 Or we got picked up close to midnight?
23:34:02.000 It's hard to tell.
23:34:02.000 I actually need to work it out.
23:34:07.000 Under the chair!
23:34:07.000 We could sit around and smoke a cigarette with you all day.
23:34:14.000 You know what I'm gonna do as soon as I'm free?
23:34:16.000 Sit around and smoke a cigarette with you and my friends.
23:34:18.000 As soon as we're free, let's get out of here and then let's go sit in the war room and smoke and sit and talk shit.
23:34:22.000 Yeah, let's go sit down and smoke and talk.
23:34:25.000 Yeah, we haven't done that enough.
23:34:26.000 We haven't done that enough.
23:34:28.000 That's all we do.
23:34:30.000 Best thing about life.
23:34:33.000 Especially when you have very few worries to worry about apart from Matrix trying to, you know, put you in jail and completely ruin your entire life and reputation.
23:34:41.000 These things are... These... They're dummies, bro.
23:34:44.000 Check out these dummies.
23:34:46.000 They're in jail. I'll put myself in jail for fun on the internet.
23:34:52.000 And I'll put on my patented Storm Jim Talisman t-shirt.
23:35:04.000 Before I get released.
23:35:05.000 Because that t-shirt says it.
23:35:08.000 I feel like a thousand push-ups.
23:35:10.000 A thousand and one.
23:35:14.000 How upset are you with my Count of Monte Cristo style revenge plot?
23:35:17.000 How about I upset you?
23:35:21.000 Nah, leave it.
23:35:33.000 Leave it.
23:35:37.000 What did we do when we were leaving jail?
23:35:42.000 We used all the bleach.
23:35:44.000 We danced around like this.
23:35:49.000 We did this for hours.
23:35:51.000 It was like three hours before we got released.
23:35:53.000 I was screaming I don't want to leave.
23:35:54.000 I ain't going nowhere.
23:35:56.000 I live here.
23:35:56.000 Why they trying to take me out?
23:35:57.000 Why they trying to take me out of my house?
23:35:58.000 Rent's free.
23:35:59.000 We're going home.
23:36:05.000 Then we used all the bleach.
23:36:06.000 Then we used all the mouthwash.
23:36:07.000 Yeah, we used the bleach to clean the shower.
23:36:09.000 We used the mouthwash again and again and again.
23:36:13.000 We used the black bin bags.
23:36:15.000 Oh yeah, the black bin bags!
23:36:16.000 Only had two of them left!
23:36:17.000 We both smoked, put little bits of rubbish in each.
23:36:20.000 We stopped rationing everything.
23:36:21.000 We smoked endless cigarettes.
23:36:23.000 Endless cigarettes.
23:36:24.000 We used everything up.
23:36:25.000 We ate Oreos, like four packets.
23:36:26.000 Yeah, I felt so sick.
23:36:28.000 I'm fucking facing the camera.
23:36:30.000 My laser focus from the coffee was all that.
23:36:37.000 All that fortified me.
23:36:44.000 What else did we do?
23:36:46.000 High five.
23:36:51.000 We made loads of jokes about how we didn't appreciate our last few days in jail.
23:36:55.000 We kept saying we didn't appreciate jail while we had it.
23:37:04.000 We sent ourselves back.
23:37:08.000 Back in the jail.
23:37:09.000 We are back in jail.
23:37:18.000 We are back in jail.
23:37:20.000 Yeah, so we used all the bleach, which we were rationing.
23:37:22.000 We used the mouthwash, which we were rationing.
23:37:23.000 Everything we were rationing, all the Oreos, everything that was rationed, we used.
23:37:26.000 Because we were worried about the bleach for the cockroaches that were running out.
23:37:29.000 But we used it all.
23:37:30.000 I sat in the chair one last time.
23:37:32.000 Sat in the chair, yeah.
23:37:35.000 Nice.
23:37:36.000 One last ride on old Cherry.
23:37:37.000 I wonder how that chair's doing.
23:37:38.000 I wonder how she's holding up.
23:37:42.000 Room 5.
23:37:42.000 We've been granted our freedom.
23:37:50.000 It's just the beginning.
23:37:53.000 When we're released from this, we'll be freer than we've ever been.
23:37:55.000 You think?
23:37:56.000 Because our minds will be freer.
23:38:00.000 Part of my mind, part of my soul, still lives inside that jail, appreciating the life I'm living on the outside.
23:38:06.000 You know like how Neo's mind gets stuck in the Matrix?
23:38:10.000 Part of my soul is in that room, Andrew.
23:38:13.000 Whether you believe in that or not, something, some essence of me is in that.
23:38:17.000 The inferior, weaker man that I was when I went into jail, part of that essence is in that jail cell.
23:38:23.000 Forever.
23:38:24.000 And he's looking out the window at the life I'm living, thinking, wow, what a good fucking life.
23:38:31.000 Maybe we're still in jail, this was all a dream.
23:38:34.000 We're gonna wake up tomorrow in the jail.
23:38:36.000 Well, the real jail.
23:38:37.000 Everything that happens since we got out.
23:38:39.000 All of the podcasts and global fame and all that stuff.
23:38:42.000 It's all just made up.
23:38:43.000 We've done the most watched interviews of all time in the world history of any human ever.
23:38:46.000 We're gonna wake up tomorrow in jail.
23:38:48.000 That's it.
23:38:49.000 And no one's gonna care.
23:38:50.000 We're gonna tell them the news.
23:38:50.000 to do something bigger than us. Yeah. Let's do the crown quote then.
23:39:04.000 Every day in jail we'd open the Qur'an at a random page and find a quote which was applicable to our situation.
23:39:09.000 Yep.
23:39:10.000 I think go more towards the back this time.
23:39:12.000 I'm just going to choose a random page.
23:39:13.000 I think we've never got the time.
23:39:15.000 Scan it.
23:39:16.000 Find the Qur'an quote of the day.
23:39:18.000 The Qur'an quote of the day.
23:39:19.000 You've got prayers to do when we get out of here.
23:39:26.000 I hear still a few hours of the day left.
23:39:28.000 Those who rejected the truth will be led to hell in their throngs.
23:39:47.000 When they arrive, its gates will open, and its keepers will say to them, were you not sent your own messengers to recite the revelations of the Lord to you and warn you that you will meet this day?
23:40:01.000 Beautiful quote.
23:40:03.000 That's a good Quran quote of the day.
23:40:06.000 In jail there was a daily Qur'an Qur'an.
23:40:07.000 We opened up the Qur'an.
23:40:08.000 Every single day we opened the Qur'an and we found a page and there was always something applicable.
23:40:13.000 Those who reject the truth will be punished.
23:40:16.000 Let's do it again.
23:40:18.000 A new page.
23:40:21.000 I will tell you that this day will come for those who have rejected the truth.
23:40:26.000 This day will come.
23:40:27.000 The Qur'an is correct.
23:40:30.000 the day when you face judgment for all that you have done.
23:40:34.000 There's no edge on every single page.
23:40:55.000 I know there is.
23:40:57.000 I know there is bro.
23:41:02.000 I've read more Quran than most non-Muslims in the world.
23:41:05.000 Knowledge is power.
23:41:13.000 So, so,
23:41:37.000 so, Thank you.
23:41:47.000 One of the admins can tell us how much we made for Tate Pledge during this 24 hours.
23:41:51.000 Yes, that would be very good to know.
23:41:54.000 I'd like to acknowledge all the superchats.
23:41:57.000 It's all going to a good cause.
23:41:58.000 Me and Andrew, you know, we donate above and beyond all sorts of charities, all sorts of causes.
23:42:05.000 I mean, I'm the kind of guy that comes across GoFundMe pages for sick people, dying people, good charities, good causes.
23:42:11.000 I recently gave to a charity called The Gift of Chess.
23:42:15.000 which their ethos is spreading knowledge of chess around the world because in countries that lack educational infrastructure, in countries that lack schools, chess is a very good way of getting and understanding and knowing the powers of deductive reasoning, the powers of logic.
23:42:30.000 Chess is very, very good in substitute of a perfect educational system.
23:42:34.000 So all across Africa and the Middle East, they're spreading the gift of chess.
23:42:37.000 I gave them $6,000 because I randomly came across their page.
23:42:40.000 Me and Andrew are very generous people.
23:42:42.000 We'd like to help out.
23:42:44.000 Anyone and anywhere we can.
23:42:47.000 And yeah, this is all going to go very well.
23:42:49.000 Can the admins tell us how much we've made?
23:42:51.000 This is all going to go to Take Pledge, which is our personal charity.
23:42:55.000 We have people on the ground that specialize.
23:42:59.000 I mean, we've fixed various roofs and bought washing machines for various families and a few other things, but we specialize in feeding people, especially children.
23:43:07.000 No child in the world should be without food.
23:43:09.000 Yeah, food's too cheap.
23:43:11.000 Not a single child on earth should be without food.
23:43:14.000 I'd like to know how much was donated from our loyal viewers.
23:43:26.000 And that's the thing, you know, there are guys who'll go on stream and, oh shit, that's poisonous for your mind.
23:43:31.000 Poisonous for your mind.
23:43:33.000 All for selfish gain.
23:43:35.000 They'll play video games, and make you watch them play video games.
23:43:39.000 And it's for selfish gain.
23:43:40.000 They make their money and they make their Super Chats, and what do they do with it?
23:43:42.000 They buy drugs.
23:43:43.000 Maybe upgrade their car.
23:43:45.000 Upgrade their life.
23:43:48.000 This has not been pleasant, by the way.
23:43:49.000 Obviously, I would much rather have spent this day with one of my kids.
23:43:53.000 That would have been better.
23:43:55.000 But...
23:43:56.000 We do it in the hopes that you all see what has been done to us, what has been taken from us, what we were put through.
23:44:02.000 This is a very accurate and true-to-the-experience representation of what jail was like.
23:44:08.000 Jail was actually harder than this, obviously.
23:44:10.000 But, yeah, it's been a very unpleasant 24 hours, and I hope that you've all enjoyed watching it.
23:44:17.000 So we appreciate all the donations, all that money.
23:44:20.000 We've gained nothing from this, personally, but to let our fans know, obviously, what we were put through.
23:44:27.000 All the money made is going to go to a very good cause, so lots of people in the world who are deserving of help, food, and support are going to get it because of what was achieved here.
23:44:36.000 So, I'll pat myself on the back a little bit.
23:44:39.000 I do not mind putting myself through difficulties if it helps others.
23:44:44.000 Clearly.
23:44:44.000 Otherwise, I was going to shut my mouth three years ago and just... No one would know who we are, but we'd be living fucking without risks of jail, for sure.
23:44:54.000 So life's good.
23:44:57.000 another day in jail.
23:45:10.000 We've only read a few lines of each but I hope you If you have some spare time, although reading will not make you financially successful and reading will not really do much in the way that's going to better your life financially, which I've always agreed with my brother upon, stay away from success porn books, books about mindset to make you rich.
23:45:31.000 The only people those books make rich are the people who write them.
23:45:34.000 Ignore all those, but there's nothing wrong with indulging in entertainment.
23:45:39.000 And books are a higher form of entertainment than Netflix or video games are most of the entertainment that you guys partake in.
23:45:44.000 So if you wish to read The Count of Monte Cristo or From Russia with Love, good.
23:45:48.000 If you're an atheist and you wish to pick up the Bible and the Koran, even better, either.
23:45:52.000 Although I'm not a Muslim myself, if you're an atheist, you pick up the Koran and read it cover to cover, I believe that you will change your mind and I believe that it will be a massively beneficial experience for your life.
23:46:06.000 Knowledge is power.
23:46:07.000 That's why I'm reading a book about the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.
23:46:10.000 I like to know about my brother's faith.
23:46:12.000 I have lots and lots of good Muslim friends now in the Middle East.
23:46:16.000 And just out of respect for them, I like to know everything.
23:46:19.000 I want to know everything.
23:46:20.000 And knowledge can be found in books much more than it can be found on fucking Netflix.
23:46:24.000 10 minutes left, G.
23:46:25.000 10 minutes?
23:46:28.000 Nap?
23:46:29.000 Coffee?
23:46:32.000 Sleep?
23:46:33.000 We'll walk in a circle.
23:46:34.000 We'll walk in a circle?
23:46:39.000 I'm going to get up and smoke a cigarette.
23:46:42.000 We haven't smoked much today, have we?
23:46:44.000 No, we haven't smoked enough today.
23:46:46.000 I've only smoked about 30.
23:46:46.000 It's 30.
23:46:47.000 That's not anywhere near enough.
23:46:54.000 Why do I feel nervous like when we really go out of jail?
23:47:03.000 Because this has brought back the Yeah, well it's actually a lot less comfortable.
23:47:09.000 hours in here, no phone, no device, you don't know what's going on in the outside world, you're stuck in a room with a bunk bed and a cigarette and a coffee, just waiting for your next meal to come through the door. It was a horrible experience and this has brought all of it back. PTSD is a very real thing.
23:47:26.000 Yeah, well it's actually a lot less comfortable, I find it to be a lot more uncomfortable.
23:47:31.000 The team did exceptionally well. The team did exceptionally well.
23:47:36.000 We explained what jail was like, and we gave them instructions to emulate it.
23:47:42.000 And even though we thought this room was too big, I'll tell you something.
23:47:45.000 This side of the room is all cameras and wires and stuff, and we can't go over there, so it has limited the space in here massively.
23:47:52.000 So that's very authentic.
23:47:54.000 Only one cockroach that I found earlier.
23:47:57.000 That's a coincidence, I guess.
23:47:59.000 But it was some sort of beetle, not a cockroach.
23:48:01.000 This building doesn't have cockroaches.
23:48:02.000 I didn't want to release cockroaches into my own building and then have them in the crevices laying eggs and have to call an exterminator, so... No, I, uh... We didn't see our ninja roots coming.
23:48:12.000 Yeah, I didn't do the cockroaches, but I did kill a fly and I did kill a beetle.
23:48:17.000 Yeah, we were slapping the walls all day.
23:48:20.000 All day.
23:48:20.000 Especially at night, that's when they'd crawl out from the frames of the bunk beds, from the holes in the wall, the cracks in the paint.
23:48:29.000 Cockroaches are fucking voracious.
23:48:30.000 You can fucking find them everywhere.
23:48:33.000 It's insane.
23:48:35.000 A cockroach the size of half of my thumb would fit into the tiniest little fucking hole in the wall.
23:48:41.000 Somehow.
23:48:43.000 Clever little bastards.
23:48:44.000 So obviously we pour bleach everywhere and try to kill them all.
23:48:48.000 But... Sucks for them.
23:48:53.000 I did not have to share a cell with the cockroaches.
23:48:56.000 The roaches had to share a cell with me.
23:48:59.000 God help them.
23:49:02.000 That's the way I see it.
23:49:07.000 Yeah, vastly unpleasant experience and this has brought it all back.
23:49:10.000 This has been a very unpleasant 24 hours.
23:49:12.000 Beds aren't comfortable.
23:49:20.000 Way too hot in here.
23:49:21.000 here. I've been sweating all day. All in all a productive stream. Lots of money made for hungry people.
23:49:36.000 And my fans now understand what I went through.
23:49:39.000 which is important.
23:49:40.000 Last cigarette.
23:49:48.000 Last cigarette.
23:49:49.000 Last fucking coffee, mate.
23:49:52.000 Fuckin' hell, mate.
23:49:54.000 The plastic... I'm not gonna admit this.
23:49:56.000 Cybernetic organisms cannot eat as much coffee as biological humans, because it's plastic stomach.
23:50:01.000 This is a little... Oh!
23:50:02.000 I don't want therapy.
23:50:04.000 I do not want therapy.
23:50:06.000 There's no point in complaining.
23:50:08.000 Woo!
23:50:10.000 Woo!
23:50:17.000 Now I'm ready to face the world with laser focus.
23:50:20.000 Now it's time for one last cigarette.
23:50:21.000 After this, we can go sit down and talk to each other and smoke.
23:50:28.000 Buzz ourselves up on coffee.
23:50:34.000 We all have energy for a day.
23:50:36.000 The fucked up thing is we do this when we knew we weren't getting out.
23:50:39.000 We do this when we had three weeks left, at least.
23:50:42.000 And we just buzz up on coffee for no reason.
23:50:44.000 And we call each other pussies for not doing it.
23:50:48.000 I defeated you in the push-up challenge and came to the conclusion, oh I feel sick, that poles are better for noodles, and I did that via push-ups.
23:50:55.000 Remember everyone at home, might is right!
23:50:58.000 If you- We're gonna have a poll, mate.
23:51:01.000 A poll?
23:51:02.000 Might is right.
23:51:04.000 I sung better songs about noodles than cup.
23:51:06.000 The songs didn't matter, Andrew.
23:51:08.000 They did.
23:51:08.000 The songs didn't matter.
23:51:15.000 I'm gonna write a newsletter about this tomorrow.
23:51:18.000 So anyone that's not in the newsletter, go to CobraTake.com and sign up.
23:51:21.000 Write a newsletter about what I've learned from my revisit to jail.
23:51:24.000 Yep.
23:51:26.000 If I find it on Twitter, I'll be tweeting my thoughts.
23:51:28.000 The newsletter's free.
23:51:28.000 free from covertake.com.
23:51:30.000 Raised over 10K.
23:51:44.000 Or take pledge.
23:51:45.000 Over $10,000?
23:51:46.000 Yeah.
23:51:47.000 So let's say average price of $2 a meal is $5,000.
23:51:50.000 $5,000 meals, Gene.
23:51:53.000 Worth it.
23:51:54.000 I'd go to jail any day for 24 hours to feed 5,000 kids.
23:51:56.000 I'm good as shit.
23:51:59.000 Absolutely worth it.
23:52:01.000 Thank everybody who donated.
23:52:02.000 Yeah, everyone.
23:52:03.000 Thank you for your support.
23:52:04.000 5,000 children, and you're gonna see all of it on Twitter account.
23:52:07.000 I post every time that everybody's eating.
23:52:08.000 You'll see it all.
23:52:09.000 Take pledge.
23:52:10.000 Follow us on Twitter.
23:52:13.000 Enjoy my last cigarette.
23:52:15.000 I'm going to do a bit of a mixed bag.
23:52:16.000 I'm going to do a bit of a bed sit.
23:52:19.000 Nice.
23:52:19.000 Lean.
23:52:20.000 Nice.
23:52:21.000 To chair.
23:52:21.000 Wow.
23:52:23.000 To stroll.
23:52:23.000 Fucking hell, you did the whole jail tour.
23:52:27.000 I didn't do a lay down.
23:52:28.000 No, you missed that again.
23:52:30.000 Okay, so bed sit.
23:52:32.000 Okay, let's see if I can do this right.
23:52:34.000 To lean.
23:52:35.000 Just roll.
23:52:36.000 Okay.
23:52:37.000 To chair.
23:52:38.000 To stroll.
23:52:39.000 To lay down.
23:52:42.000 Good to all the different fucking... All the phases of jail comfort!
23:52:47.000 Good to them all!
23:52:48.000 I think you should do it, Andrew.
23:52:49.000 I don't have a man enough.
23:52:50.000 That's a lot of jail comfort at once.
23:52:51.000 It is.
23:52:52.000 I mean, it's like tasting all the foods at a buffet at the same time.
23:52:56.000 That's a lot of jail comfort.
23:52:57.000 Do you know what song was playing for us outside when we were released from jail?
23:53:08.000 Everyone came and sat outside the jail in their cars and started playing a song.
23:53:15.000 I remember hearing it, knowing that they were waiting for us.
23:53:20.000 Yeah, I feel like whoever's running this shit show of a horrible jail experience needs to start playing the theme tune.
23:53:28.000 It's time to once again leave these walls and get back to our normal life.
23:53:33.000 But you don't understand.
23:53:33.000 I am free, always.
23:53:37.000 In my mind, I am free.
23:53:40.000 I can walk out of here, I can walk out of jail.
23:53:41.000 I've seen this for 92 days.
23:53:44.000 Having more fun than the long you have.
23:53:47.000 This poster represented this trip to jail, baby.
23:53:59.000 One, one, one.
23:54:02.000 One.
23:54:05.000 That was one push-ups.
23:54:30.000 Matrix has attacked us, Tristan.
23:54:33.000 In the end, I think it'll be us.
23:54:36.000 They can't break our spirits.
23:54:37.000 That's the only victory.
23:54:39.000 That's the only victory.
23:54:40.000 With a strong spirit and God's help, side by side, no matter what bullshit they come up with, we're gonna fuckin' win.
23:54:49.000 We're gonna fuckin' win.
23:54:50.000 Yeah, I'm fuckin' right.
23:54:51.000 right? All I do is wait.
23:54:53.000 It doesn't matter what bullshit they come out with, what they say to me or what they say to you, no matter what, You and I are still in the same fucking team.
23:55:22.000 Doesn't matter what garbage they try, doesn't matter what they lie, they tell, what they come up with, you and I are gonna remain on the same fucking team.
23:55:29.000 And as long as we're on the same team, the millions of young men who listen to us, you are not gonna convince these people that I'm something I'm not.
23:55:36.000 Because they have the power of reason, and the power of logic, and the power of being smart to listen to their own convictions.
23:55:41.000 A lot is on our side.
23:55:44.000 The truth is on our side.
23:55:46.000 And in the end, the truth will set us free.
23:55:49.000 And this bullshit will damage the credibility of the Matrix even further, so they will struggle to damage the lives of men who don't deserve it.
23:55:57.000 Exactly.
23:55:58.000 So we are suffering with reason.
23:56:00.000 Their weapon is blunted on our armor.
23:56:02.000 They think they're hitting us, they think they're striking us, but they come to swing this sword at someone else.
23:56:07.000 When someone else worthy of respect comes out and says the things he wants to say,