Tate Speech - ANDREW TATE LOST A RACE! | Tate Confidential Ep. 154

Tristan and Luke are on a road trip with their friends Andrew and Boris. It's raining and they need more petrol to keep up with the speed of the Lamborghini, but they don't have enough. Will they be able to beat the other cars to win the race? Will they even be fast enough to beat them in the rain? Or will they be slow enough to not even make it to the finish line in time to be crowned the winners? Will they have enough fuel to finish the race or will they have to go back to the station to get more petrol? What will they do with all the extra fuel? How will they make it back in time before they run out of it? And who's going to pay the petrol bill? Can they pay it or is it going to be Mr. Goon or Mr. Goode? The answer to all of these questions and more in this episode of Mr. GOON's Never Fails! Featuring: Luke, Andrew, Luke, Rory, and Sterling. Music by Ian Dorsch and Luke. Special thanks to our sponsor, VaynerSpeakers. If you like what you hear, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and/or wherever else you re listening to this podcast. We'd love to hear your thoughts on the podcast. Thank you so much, please be sure to leave us your reviews, reviews and reviews. We really appreciate it. XOXO and we'll be looking out for you in the next episode next week. . . . xxx XO, Luke and Andrew - . xo, Ian, Luke, , :) Rory, :D & Mr.Goon's Never fails ( ) , Mr. Gonna win the Race? , and Luke's Never Fail? ( ? And Luke, I'll be back next week Mr.Goon has Never fails? & Luke, Never fails, Never Will I'll Never Fail, Ever fails, Ever Will I Won It, Ever Won It's Never Will Will I Will I Fail, Never Have A Girl Like That, Ever Have A Good Day, No Matter How I'll Won The Race, No One Will I Do That, No I'll Have It, No Will I Say That?

00:00:00.000 Oh I

00:00:10.000 Oh

00:01:16.000 Who?

00:01:19.000 Who should take the ticket? Take the fucking ticket. 1.00

00:01:22.000 Who should take the ticket? Mr. 1.00

00:01:24.000 Goode. Mr. Goode, take the ticket.

00:01:28.000 Mr. Goode will take the ticket.

00:01:30.000 Mr. Goon always succeeds.

00:01:32.000 Well, keep the tickets there so you don't do a Mr.

00:01:34.000 Rory. It means tickets.

00:01:36.000 Don't worry. I'm Mr.

00:01:38.000 Goon. Mr. Goon's never failed. 0.54

00:01:41.000 Never. Mr.

00:01:44.000 Goon has never failed. Now let me go back to Luke.

00:01:48.000 Now I'm Luke. Who does fail.

00:01:49.000 Who I do occasionally fail.

00:01:54.000 And now it is raining.

00:01:56.000 Yes. I can do 100 miles an hour in the rain.

00:01:58.000 There's no way Andrew and Boris are actually going to do fast speeds in the rain in those cars.

00:02:04.000 We're going to win them.

00:02:06.000 We are going to win, aren't we? We are definitely going to win.

00:02:08.000 I think we passed them a long time ago.

00:02:12.000 Well, we always knew it.

00:02:13.000 We did always know. Bentley is a racing legend.

00:02:18.000 That's actually very true.

00:02:19.000 It is true. I know.

00:02:21.000 I wasn't joking. We're going to win the race.

00:02:22.000 We are going to win the race. We have the better car.

00:02:24.000 We have the superior vehicle. But feel that nice foot down, top speed acceleration.

00:02:31.000 It's quiet like a tiger.

00:02:34.000 It's quiet like a slow car.

00:02:37.000 It's not a slow car. It can't be.

00:02:39.000 If it was a slow car, we wouldn't be beating them.

00:02:42.000 Racing is about speed.

00:02:44.000 It's not about speed, is it?

00:02:45.000 It's about strategy. It is.

00:02:47.000 They have the mountain roads.

00:02:49.000 Oh, mountainy, mountainy.

00:02:50.000 They don't know about straight lines, highways, invention, human innovation.

00:02:55.000 They're living in the 30s. They are.

00:02:57.000 They don't get it. They don't understand.

00:02:58.000 Times have changed. Sterling, we're going to lose the race.

00:03:14.000 Why are we at the gas station?

00:03:17.000 To collect more fuel for the race.

00:03:19.000 That's what you need to win a race.

00:03:21.000 But what if they have a full tank?

00:03:22.000 I guarantee they don't have to fill them all day.

00:03:24.000 We're growing far more economically than they are.

00:03:27.000 True. And plus, Luke didn't have his power crunch.

00:03:30.000 Isn't that right? I tried to tell Luke about the cereal.

00:03:33.000 He didn't fucking listen. Luke never has to listen. 0.99

00:03:38.000 So we get more energy. Yeah, of course we get more energy.

00:03:41.000 For the race. We also need energy in ourselves.

00:03:44.000 It's true. To win the race.

00:03:46.000 Tristan, what do you need? I need Mr.

00:03:49.000 Groon to somehow pay this.

00:03:51.000 Don't worry, Mr. Goon's on the case.

00:03:53.000 Mr. Goon is on the case.

00:03:55.000 Mr. Goon never fails.

00:03:56.000 Never. Never have failed, never will.

00:03:59.000 So first things first, let's get the ticket thing.

00:04:02.000 I don't like this. It's not this.

00:04:04.000 Hopefully we didn't lose the ticket thing.

00:04:05.000 No, we didn't. These are Mr.

00:04:06.000 Goon. Mr.

00:04:08.000 Goon never fails. We put the ticket in here.

00:04:15.000 Now we give them money.

00:04:19.000 Mr. Goon! 0.88

00:04:22.000 Mr. Goon's on the case.

00:04:23.000 Mr. Goon has never failed.

00:04:25.000 Ever. Alright.

00:04:32.000 Looks like the job for Mr. Goon's over.

00:04:34.000 No more need.

00:04:36.000 Hey Tristan!

00:04:38.000 Sterling, are we actually going to win this race?

00:04:48.000 I haven't seen anyone in about an hour and a half.

00:04:50.000 I'll answer that question for you bro. 1.00

00:04:52.000 Fuck no! Sterling, we've been on a supercar rally for two fucking days and the only time I've seen a goddamn Lamborghini is when we're at the hotel at the end of the fucking day, four hours after they get there. 1.00

00:05:04.000 We're in last place, Rory. 0.99

00:05:05.000 Look, I'll tell you why we haven't seen anybody else.

00:05:08.000 It's because we stop to smell the roses.

00:05:12.000 And more importantly, every time we see a beautiful girl, we ask her, hey love, fancy a bum?

00:05:19.000 That is true. That is kind of true.

00:05:21.000 We have been asking random fresh girls.

00:05:22.000 We're doing far more important work.

00:05:24.000 We're doing God's work. But in addition, we have to impregnate every village woman In every little French village. 1.00

00:05:31.000 That's true. Who else is going to do it?

00:05:33.000 Yeah, that's true. Well, clearly.

00:05:35.000 That's true. Look, bro. Look, we've been in these villages all day.

00:05:37.000 I've not seen anybody under the age of 75.

00:05:40.000 There's got to be one. I've not seen one young woman.

00:05:43.000 There's got to be one. And so, I honestly just think we're lost.

00:05:46.000 Let's drive to La Bomme. La Bomme.

00:05:48.000 La Bomme. Oh, we've got to find a girl that wants a bum there. 1.00

00:05:52.000 Okay, so the truth is, the truth is, we are in last place. 0.99

00:05:55.000 So we're going to lose the fucking race. 0.99

00:05:57.000 We might lose the race, but... 1.00

00:05:59.000 We might impregnate a village. 0.73

00:06:01.000 I mean if we win. We definitely win if we impregnate a village. 0.94

00:06:05.000 Touche. It's the only French word I know.

00:06:07.000 Touche! Just get the ticket without the hat.

00:06:13.000 I don't know. I'm Luke. I might fail the task.

00:06:16.000 But I know one man who won't.

00:06:20.000 Listen, Mr. Ruby.

00:06:22.000 I'm going to do the task tonight of boozing so hard.

00:06:26.000 Mr. Goon might be unavailable at night.

00:06:30.000 No. Mr.

00:06:36.000 Goon will let me down. Mr. 0.96

00:06:37.000 Goon never fails.

00:06:38.000 Mr. Goon has never failed ever.

00:06:43.000 Mr. Goon has never failed.

00:06:54.000 Are we the fastest race car drivers that has ever existed?

00:06:57.000 Clearly, because we have time for picnics.

00:06:58.000 Literally. So we picnic while they're probably doing some bullshit. 1.00

00:07:02.000 Yeah, exactly. Because we're so fast that we have time. 0.99

00:07:06.000 It's the tortoise and the hare. Yeah.

00:07:08.000 We could stop and rest, but we actually still will win.

00:07:10.000 That's what I mean. We're not going to just go to sleep here and just wait hours.

00:07:13.000 Aren't we? No, we're not.

00:07:16.000 No, Tristan. Tristan, we can't just sleep here.

00:07:19.000 Good day. No.

00:07:21.000 That is such a fast racehorse. 1.00

00:07:25.000 Fuck, these Doritos are actually super fucking good. 1.00

00:07:28.000 I could sleep and still win. 1.00

00:07:30.000 I believe in myself.

00:07:33.000 These are actually some of the best Doritos out there.

00:07:36.000 Why are they so good? You fucked me. 0.99

00:07:41.000 Rory bought it yesterday. 1.00

00:07:44.000 So Rory fucked us. Because they're actually super fucking good. 1.00

00:07:48.000 It would seem that way, yeah. Man, they're so... 0.97

00:07:53.000 They must be driving so fucking slow. 0.99

00:07:57.000 Literally. We're good to go. 0.98

00:08:57.000 So Tristan and Luke got here first.

00:08:58.000 And you know what they're going to do? What are they going to do?

00:09:00.000 We got here before you, Bentley.

00:09:03.000 Because you went on straight motorways.

00:09:06.000 Boring. And we went through the mountain roads and had fun.

00:09:09.000 On a car rally. And they think they won by skipping all the fun.

00:09:13.000 Watch this. They're going to skip all the fun.

00:09:16.000 And they're going to be like, oh yeah, but we got here.

00:09:19.000 It's like bragging you came first.

00:09:21.000 Oh yeah, I came in a minute.

00:09:23.000 But you missed all the fun. Why?

00:09:24.000 To be fair, Andrew, priorities. We need to have priorities here.

00:09:28.000 So whose side are you eating on?

00:09:29.000 We have to have priorities here.

00:09:31.000 They skipped all the fun to get here.

00:09:33.000 So it doesn't matter if they got here first because they're nerds.

00:09:36.000 I took the long way because I'm a G. That's what I did.

00:09:40.000 I went through the mountains. The hard roads.

00:09:42.000 The hard roads. That's where I'm from.

00:09:43.000 The hard roads. Where I'm from.

00:09:45.000 You understand? That's what builds character.

00:09:47.000 That's right. In my GT3, they fucking took the motorway cruise control like dorks, and now watch when we see them. 0.99

00:09:52.000 Hi, guys. Shut the fuck up, Tristan. 1.00

00:09:55.000 Tristan and Luke. Imagine the two biggest geeks you know. 1.00

00:10:00.000 Two geeks. Imagine in your mind. 0.98

00:10:02.000 Two fucking geeks. 1.00

00:10:03.000 What are their names? Tristan and Luke. 1.00

00:10:07.000 It's true, bro. 0.98

00:10:11.000 We beat the shit out of the guys in that race. 0.98

00:10:14.000 We wasn't racing. We weren't racing. 0.99

00:10:16.000 Bro, who got here first? We left at the same time, yeah?

00:10:19.000 But who said we were racing?

00:10:20.000 We weren't racing. We took the hard road. We were racing, bro.

00:10:22.000 It was a great race. I put in the text.

00:10:24.000 We could show the text. The great race between us three.

00:10:27.000 It was me and Tristan against you and Andrew, and then Justin Sterling and Rory.

00:10:32.000 There was no race. And that's been first place, second place, third place, it looks like.

00:10:36.000 Because I don't think Rory's here yet. 1.00

00:10:38.000 You're a loser. And you know it. 1.00

00:10:39.000 No, we're the super team. Now we're good.

00:11:16.000 No problem. So one sec.

00:11:18.000 So we already have drinks.

00:11:19.000 We all have drinks now. Vodka and water.

00:11:22.000 Vodka and Coke. And you're saying...

00:11:23.000 I'm just saying, let's not bullshit every time we hand the bottle around and hit it before we drink our drinks.

00:11:29.000 So we're drinking our vodka and mixed drinks and we're hitting this first.

00:11:32.000 This is the chaser.

00:11:34.000 The mixed drink is the chaser.

00:11:35.000 Luke, was this your idea, Luke?

00:11:37.000 I agree with Justin. I'm gonna tell you why I disagree.

00:11:41.000 I'm gonna tell you why I disagree. Because there are certain members of this group who cheat.

00:11:46.000 When they take sips.

00:11:48.000 Yes, I saw the sip cheating last night. 0.99

00:11:51.000 I don't want to accuse anyone, but they're black. 0.99

00:11:55.000 They are black. Rory, sip. 0.99

00:11:59.000 So what I'm saying is, let's take shots in these glasses, and then we can slam a shot and use that as a chaser. 0.99

00:12:04.000 I want everyone to know at home that it's pointless ass. 0.99

00:12:09.000 Whatever. Alright, pour a shot, swing it back, pass the bottle on the glass. 0.98

00:12:14.000 Same glass. Oh.

00:12:16.000 Fuck off, man. 1.00

00:12:18.000 I'm not being second. Give it to me. 1.00

00:12:21.000 Go, Marcel. Pass the cup as well.

00:12:23.000 Same cup. Fuck off, guys. 1.00

00:12:27.000 Here, Luke, continue to film it. 1.00

00:12:29.000 Don't think your little hands is going to make you shout a little bit.

00:12:32.000 That's all right. More moves.

00:12:36.000 Yeah. Let's go. Up to the curve.

00:12:38.000 It smells horrible.

00:12:39.000 I can smell it. I just shot by one. 0.72

00:12:41.000 My shot's stuck. Yeah, that was wrong.

00:12:43.000 That was wrong. Don't do that again.

00:12:51.000 That's also- Yeah, that's not a chaser.

00:12:53.000 That's not a chaser.

00:12:59.000 Alright Roswell, you got yourself on that one.

00:13:01.000 Oh...

00:13:03.000 Laughter Oh, oh.

00:13:11.000 Laughter That was scary.

00:13:15.000 Alright, alright. Let's go.

00:13:17.000 I got my shot.

00:13:19.000 What are grits? Marcel doesn't know what grits are.

00:13:21.000 He's clearly not blind. It's hard for me to have this conversation when I sound like a complete racist.

00:13:28.000 Marcel, I know what grits are.

00:13:30.000 So, you knew your story. Okay, that can't go with head completion.

00:13:35.000 Yeah, I'm going to bleep that out. Bro, I can't believe this.

00:13:39.000 It must be an American thing.

00:13:42.000 Give me your card. Alright, bring them to the South. 0.97

00:13:51.000 As an American, that would be unforgivable. 1.00

00:13:54.000 And for the record, European bacon is absolute fucking trash. 1.00

00:14:01.000 French bacon. We've only had French bacon. 1.00

00:14:04.000 We had English bacon. It was shit. 1.00

00:14:05.000 It tastes like ham. 1.00

00:14:07.000 English bacon is superior to French bacon.

00:14:11.000 English bacon is better than French bacon.

00:14:13.000 No, it's not. Bro, it's all trash compared to American. 1.00

00:14:16.000 What's better than French bacon? 1.00

00:14:18.000 American bacon is superior.

00:14:19.000 I ain't gonna lie. See, I don't know American bacon, so it's easy.

00:14:23.000 I don't know any better. He doesn't even know what the Brit is. 0.61

00:14:26.000 Yeah, you should know that. I've been to America a few times, bro.

00:14:31.000 That's what I mean, bro. Is it nice?

00:14:33.000 Is it nice? It's super good.

00:14:37.000 It's nice, but also flavorless.

00:14:40.000 It's weird. You're looking forward to the day of Mr.

00:14:45.000 Goon? Stop talking to me.

00:14:47.000 But Mr. Goon can never be wrong, Tristan.

00:14:49.000 Yo, Luke, Marcel. Mr.

00:14:50.000 Goon. Hi, Tristan.

Tate Speech - September 06, 2022

ANDREW TATE LOST A RACE! | Tate Confidential Ep. 154

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