Tate Speech - July 23, 2022


BUYING A BENTLEY AFTER WINNING THE LOTTERY | Tate Confidential Ep. 38


Episode Stats

Length

17 minutes

Words per Minute

119.58984

Word Count

2,041

Sentence Count

276

Misogynist Sentences

9

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

Tristan and Rory are on a mission to get drunk. They need to get to the war room, but the only place they can get to is in a night club, and they need a lot of booze to do it. Will they be able to get there? Will it be enough to get them to the War Room? Will they even make it there? Or will they have to go to the emergency room? Will they make it to the Emergency Room or will they be sent to the ER or will it be too late by the time they get there, and what will they do with all the booze they need to make it in time for the emergency Room? The answer to all of these questions and more will be found in this episode of the new comedy/drama series, Drinking Game. Featuring: , , and . This episode is brought to you by and produced by . This episode was originally released on Comedy Central on October 30th, 2019, and is available on all major podcast directories. Please remember to rate, review and subscribe to our other shows on Apple Podcasts, and subscribe on your favourite streaming platform so you don t miss out on any of our new episodes! , Comedy Central, Comedy Central Radio, and Comedy Central's newest show, Comedy Central. and on all of the social medias. , so you won t want to miss it! , now that we have a new episode coming soon! and it's available on Amazon Prime and Vimeo! Enjoy, and spread the word around the world! . . . and thank you for listening to us, we hope you enjoy the show! Thank you so much for listening, we really appreciate it. - Rory and Rory, you're amazing! - Thank you, Rory, so much, thank you, and God bless you, Thank you for being a good friend of mine, good night, and we appreciate you, bye, bye. XOXO - EJ & Rory, EJ and Rory. Love ya. P.B. xoxo. - P.A. - R. & Rory - M. and Rory xo - - Jack - S. - E. and OJ. - D. and R. and J. & A. B. & B. - K. & J. - J.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Good shot there from Tate!
00:00:02.000 A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
00:00:20.000 But I'm not a girl.
00:00:22.000 I'm a girl.
00:00:36.000 you Thank you for watching!
00:00:41.000 Should we stop at a remaining Italian place?
00:00:44.000 Corona. Give it to me.
00:00:50.000 Make us stronger.
00:00:52.000 I won't come stronger if I'm tired of ours.
00:00:54.000 That's true. You'd become immune to Corona.
00:00:59.000 If there's one way to get it, it's here.
00:01:03.000 What's happening, Rory?
00:01:26.000 I think everyone's going to get stupid drunk right now.
00:01:29.000 Nobody like us.
00:01:31.000 Nobody like us.
00:01:33.000 We don't church. We don't care.
00:01:36.000 What do you mean urgent?
00:01:40.000 Urgent. What's urgent about drinking?
00:01:43.000 We have to urgently get to the war room.
00:01:45.000 Oh, I see. That fucking little fetus boy talks tough on his way in.
00:01:49.000 Hey, we've got a bunch of pictures. Oh, we can see.
00:01:51.000 It's urgent. When he comes down to fucking drink.
00:01:54.000 Listen, does alcohol kill diseases?
00:01:56.000 Yes. Yes. The war room.
00:01:59.000 Corona. The more blood in our blood, the safer we are.
00:02:03.000 Urgently. Absolutely.
00:02:07.000 Let me get some drunk out of each other and beat the fuck out of the world.
00:02:12.000 What are you doing? T, what are you doing?
00:02:15.000 Porn drinks. What do you mean?
00:02:18.000 I'm pouring drinks.
00:02:22.000 I'm a professional.
00:02:24.000 Step one.
00:02:26.000 What do you think is drinking?
00:02:39.000 It's the Tummy Facts!
00:02:44.000 Is Malthew the strongest human in the world?
00:02:47.000 He might be.
00:02:50.000 I don't know. He's getting corona.
00:02:52.000 See, he's not getting corona.
00:02:54.000 Tristan is strong.
00:02:55.000 He is. And strong.
00:02:59.000 More booze.
00:03:00.000 More cigars. All the big clubs are closed.
00:03:05.000 The only places open are Old City.
00:03:07.000 They will be full because there's nowhere else to go.
00:03:12.000 And we flex on the broke places.
00:03:19.000 I'm talking $20,000 of booze tonight.
00:03:29.000 Friday.
00:03:30.000 Friday, LLC. Oh, there's no girls.
00:03:34.000 We'll have every girl in the fucking clubs.
00:03:36.000 We'll have every fucking bottle, every drip of booze in the club.
00:03:39.000 You want to drink alcohol, you're at our table.
00:03:40.000 Otherwise you can have fucking soft drinks over there with the homos.
00:03:43.000 And the soft cocks.
00:03:45.000 We got booze and boners.
00:03:46.000 Right here, table five.
00:03:50.000 Is he? Is tea coming out?
00:03:52.000 Is tea coming out?
00:03:54.000 Tea! The whole city's on quarantine, but there's one club that's open.
00:04:02.000 Every other club's closed. It's going to be rammed.
00:04:05.000 Coronavirus is real, but it's not real.
00:04:10.000 Coronavirus ain't real, bro.
00:04:12.000 Come on. There's one club that's going to be rammed.
00:04:16.000 You've got black in you too. We're supposed to be immune.
00:04:18.000 We're strong! If I come out, can I wear whatever I like?
00:04:21.000 Wherever you want. You can wear wherever you want.
00:04:23.000 Wherever you want.
00:04:27.000 10 seconds. Wear what he wants.
00:04:29.000 wear what he wants. Whatever. T, you can't be that. Don't play with me.
00:04:40.000 Bae's not allowed.
00:04:42.000 We did say whatever he wants.
00:04:45.000 So we can't really...
00:04:47.000 You're a bad guy.
00:04:49.000 How is this a thing?
00:04:51.000 Well, you're not going to talk.
00:04:55.000 See, I can't think of more of a great bit of a lesson.
00:04:57.000 Oh, you think...
00:04:59.000 He thinks he's Bane.
00:05:01.000 He thinks he's Bane. Virus Bane.
00:05:05.000 Corona Bane.
00:05:07.000 At least he's coming. You think Darkness is your ally.
00:05:10.000 At least he's coming. Smokes?
00:05:14.000 How do you smoke with the mask on?
00:05:17.000 Let it be in the end.
00:05:20.000 Darkness is not your ally.
00:05:22.000 Svar is not your ally.
00:05:24.000 You think Darkness is your ally?
00:05:26.000 You merely adopted the dog.
00:05:29.000 I was born, innit?
00:05:30.000 Fine. Whatever.
00:05:33.000 Whatever. Shut up, bro.
00:05:38.000 Team, you've been drinking, bro.
00:05:41.000 He's been drinking. He's been drinking.
00:05:44.000 I've been drinking. We can't hear you, bro.
00:05:46.000 You think boosies are out.
00:05:48.000 You merely adopted the dog.
00:05:50.000 I was born in my life.
00:05:54.000 I didn't see sobriety until I was already a man.
00:05:57.000 and by then it was done, give me one more!
00:05:59.000 What the fuck?
00:06:01.000 I'm a champion of the way, jump jump jump, hey hey, now let it play, cause the clock's gonna count, and I can't believe we made it, guess I won't be mad if you do.
00:06:11.000 **Hiss** **Hiss**
00:06:42.000 You think you're the legend of the game, alright, just smell it, took my horse to church, pray for Corona.
00:06:51.000 Is this how you beat Corona?
00:06:59.000 I beat Corona, took my horse to church.
00:07:01.000 **Hiss** **Hiss** you Thank you.
00:07:08.000 How did you find this place?
00:07:10.000 Jesus finds us all, Frank.
00:07:14.000 The church is a place of worship.
00:08:17.000 What the fuck is this place?
00:08:22.000 So is this where people come and they've had enough of life?
00:08:25.000 They come to earn money.
00:08:27.000 Corrupt.
00:08:29.000 We've decided we're taking this car for service, right?
00:08:38.000 Yeah. Why don't we just give it to them, say we don't want it, and buy an upgraded X6M? Why don't you fuck off?
00:08:45.000 We have enough cars. We have nine cars.
00:08:47.000 Wouldn't you feel happier with ten? No, you're an idiot.
00:08:49.000 Wouldn't it feel the big gaping hole in your soul?
00:08:51.000 We have way too many cars.
00:08:52.000 Really? It's actually getting to the point where it's ridiculous.
00:08:55.000 When it stops...
00:08:56.000 You're waiting for good weather so you can drive your cars.
00:08:58.000 So because you can't drive your cars because the weather isn't that good, you think you want to buy cars.
00:09:02.000 I'm telling you when the weather is here and it's sunny and you have nine fucking cars to drive and you don't know which one to drive.
00:09:08.000 Okay, wait. I already have a Porsche.
00:09:09.000 So it's either I can buy an Audi, I already have a Lambo, Bentley.
00:09:14.000 Should I buy a Bentley? You don't need a Bentley.
00:09:16.000 While you're getting this service, I might buy a Bentley.
00:09:18.000 Grow up. How mad will you be at a 10?
00:09:22.000 Stop buying cars.
00:09:23.000 If you buy a Bentley, I'm gonna spend the exact amount of money that you spent on the Bentley on something stupid.
00:09:29.000 I'm gonna gamble it at the casino.
00:09:31.000 I'm doing something nuts. Don't buy any Bentley.
00:09:32.000 They do look good, though. They do look good.
00:09:35.000 We don't have a Bentley. So?
00:09:37.000 We have every car but Bentley.
00:09:38.000 Don't you just wanna, like, finish off the collection?
00:09:39.000 We have a Bentley in England.
00:09:41.000 Yeah, yeah, but it's in England. You're an idiot.
00:09:44.000 I'm dropping this car off. Alright, well you drop us off to get serviced.
00:09:46.000 I'm going to go talk to the Bentley guy about how I don't want to buy a Bentley.
00:09:50.000 Don't talk to me. You come home with a Bentley, I'm going to keep the game going.
00:09:52.000 I'm gonna love my own.
00:09:54.000 A few moments later.
00:09:56.000 Why are we here?
00:10:04.000 Listen, bro.
00:10:06.000 When you have the number of cars I have, how do I turn this fucking car in here?
00:10:13.000 Everyone knows you're a car guy.
00:10:14.000 That was G. Did you see that?
00:10:16.000 No. That is G. It's not going to have the old school dials or my screen.
00:10:24.000 That's gang stuff. When you have the number of cars I have, people know you're a car guy.
00:10:28.000 So if I walk into a garage and say, I might buy a Bentley, but I don't know.
00:10:32.000 They'll say, oh, I'll take one for an hour.
00:10:33.000 Go test drive it. Because they know I can afford one.
00:10:37.000 So we're going to go tell Tristan we bought this car to piss him off.
00:10:40.000 And if the car is good...
00:10:43.000 We might buy the fucking car.
00:10:44.000 So obviously we put everything in sport right away because we ain't driving like a pussy.
00:10:48.000 Actually, you know what? No, let's start in comfort.
00:10:50.000 Let's start in comfort. Drive.
00:10:54.000 Okay. The Bentley Continental.
00:10:57.000 If I was a dork, which I'm not, I could do like, I could have so many car reviews on my channel.
00:11:02.000 Yeah. I just can't be asked.
00:11:05.000 So we're gonna see what the Bentley's got for us.
00:11:10.000 It is smooth. It is smooth.
00:11:11.000 Even over the bump, it was just like...
00:11:13.000 Yeah. First thing I notice.
00:11:16.000 Yep. Tristan's going to be very happy.
00:11:18.000 Very pleased. Do you think he'll be happy, ultimately?
00:11:26.000 I think he'll be very happy. Let me open the gate, pull in, and I think he'll be a super happy guy.
00:11:31.000 Let's see. Tristan, I have good news.
00:11:43.000 What? You got another car.
00:11:47.000 We don't. You do.
00:11:49.000 Look. Andy, you don't buy that.
00:11:56.000 T, don't tell me you don't like the car.
00:12:02.000 Andy's a dickhead. You wait.
00:12:04.000 How much did that cost?
00:12:05.000 Why are you wearing a mask? Cuz, you have Wuhan virus.
00:12:08.000 I know I do, but you do too. No, I don't.
00:12:10.000 We all have Wuhan. I'm immune.
00:12:11.000 I've seen you cough. Listen, I'm immune to the Wuhan virus.
00:12:15.000 If Andrews actually bought that car, you wait and just do what I do with my money.
00:12:20.000 I'm gonna spend more than he spent on that car on something fucking stupid.
00:12:25.000 Like what?
00:12:27.000 Like something.
00:12:29.000 Kristen!
00:12:49.000 I don't think he's happy.
00:12:59.000 He's happy.
00:13:00.000 Listen, just play right here.
00:13:03.000 He locked the door. He locked us out.
00:13:05.000 He locked us out. Too bad we can only sit in a nice comfortable Bentley.
00:13:10.000 Looks like we have to go for a drive.
00:13:11.000 Yeah.
00:13:11.000 So, The bank have shut me down.
00:13:23.000 You transferred me – why did you transfer me 19 grand, by the way?
00:13:28.000 You sent me 19,000 pounds.
00:13:30.000 You said I need a little bit of money.
00:13:32.000 I know, but they flagged it as a suspicious transfer, and the fraud department shut me down.
00:13:37.000 And the only way I can appeal this decision is by going into the bank, yeah, at the branch.
00:13:45.000 So they want me to fly across Europe, when there are no flights because of the coronavirus, to talk to them over 19 grand.
00:13:53.000 So what, they just didn't know where the money came from?
00:13:55.000 They're babies. Your kid has a last name as me.
00:13:58.000 I said it's for my brother.
00:13:59.000 They said there's nothing we can do. You have to appeal only in person.
00:14:04.000 I'm going to fix our problem. If you win the lottery, then you have all this money.
00:14:10.000 You can just say, I want the lottery.
00:14:12.000 So for the last hour, I've been playing online with scratch cards.
00:14:17.000 Whoa, so you're gonna avoid Banks asking where your money's by winning the ball. Yeah, I'm on the water We have much more money Doesn't matter they look it up and say you have a one the lottery at some point So I'm used to VPN log into my UK lottery account. I've loaded up with 500 pounds You're not gonna win the launch That is not a way to avoid the tax authorities from Anthony's revenue customers.
00:14:45.000 I'm not talking to you.
00:14:46.000 I'm not talking to you anymore.
00:14:50.000 Listen. Boom, boom!
00:14:52.000 Two! We've got two megacashes.
00:14:54.000 Two more, half a million.
00:14:56.000 What can we have to do?
00:14:58.000 We'll film this. I'm about to win.
00:15:00.000 We already have half a million.
00:15:02.000 We have more than half a million.
00:15:05.000 That's not going to fucking attack.
00:15:06.000 Two more megacashes. You're not going to win.
00:15:08.000 That's ten pound every day.
00:15:10.000 It's not. Nine more turns.
00:15:16.000 You're not gonna stop talking.
00:15:17.000 Got a word. Scrap.
00:15:20.000 Two words. We have three words.
00:15:22.000 I'm gonna fight them. Stop talking.
00:15:27.000 Three more turns. Fuckin' hell!
00:15:34.000 Three Mega Caches! If I get one more Mega Cache, you're half a million, and I have two turns left.
00:15:41.000 Boo! I told you I missed it!
00:15:44.000 This might be it!
00:15:46.000 Look! Two more turns.
00:15:49.000 Okay, why?
00:15:51.000 Blaster!
00:15:53.000 Wonderful.
00:15:59.000 Goddammit. How did that happen?
00:16:01.000 I thought we were this close.
00:16:04.000 If you play again, I might put another 500 pound in and keep spending.
00:16:07.000 If I sit here and do this forever, eventually we won't win a lottery.
00:16:14.000 The law of averages are saying that if I do this forever, we'll have to win.
00:16:19.000 True or false?
00:16:20.000 Well that is, if you didn't play forever, you would win.
00:16:23.000 Well buy and play. Mega Cash Word Blue.
00:16:27.000 Fix it every time.
00:16:29.000 Tristan.
00:16:34.000 What are you doing?
00:16:35.000 Uh, I'm filling up the pool.
00:16:38.000 There's light all over!
00:16:47.000 The electrical grid is about to be shut down.
00:16:50.000 The lights are on!
00:16:52.000 And when the electrical grid gets shut down, then what?
00:16:56.000 Fire. Firewood.
00:16:58.000 Prepared, as always.
00:17:00.000 There's not even any wood. How long is this going to last?
00:17:02.000 An hour? Long enough?