Tate Speech - January 09, 2025


Carbon Boss Returns | Tate Confidential Ep 269


Episode Stats

Length

14 minutes

Words per Minute

173.8983

Word Count

2,565

Sentence Count

323

Misogynist Sentences

4

Hate Speech Sentences

9


Summary

Tristan has found a way to make a smoothie that doesn't hurt his stomach when he drinks it, and it tastes even better than the original one made by a faggot homosexual who's crying about how it tastes.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 *Music* Boys, I've found a life hack.
00:00:16.000 Life hack?
00:00:17.000 You heard me.
00:00:18.000 Life hack.
00:00:20.000 You're always bragging about how fire blood hurts your stomach when you take it.
00:00:25.000 And so I found the ultimate solution.
00:00:27.000 Fire blood smoothie.
00:00:29.000 What the fuck is this?
00:00:31.000 What is a fire blood smoothie?
00:00:32.000 It is raw eggs, salt, lots of yogurt, berries and bananas, and loads and loads and loads of honey.
00:00:40.000 When you add the honey, you practically can't taste the fire blood.
00:00:44.000 Total life hack.
00:00:45.000 Now it's not going to hurt your stomachs, and now it tastes super duper good.
00:00:50.000 I know you love it.
00:00:53.000 Look, I know you love it.
00:00:55.000 You know...
00:00:58.000 I think I prefer the original smoothie.
00:01:01.000 You know the original smoothies we used to make?
00:01:03.000 The original one that isn't smooth.
00:01:04.000 It's just dusty.
00:01:06.000 Yeah, the one that's not made by a faggot homosexual who's crying his eyes out about how it tastes.
00:01:11.000 You know?
00:01:12.000 The original smoothie.
00:01:13.000 It's called Fireblood and Saliva.
00:01:15.000 You ever tried that?
00:01:16.000 You ever tried the original OG smoothie?
00:01:18.000 It's not good.
00:01:19.000 Why not?
00:01:20.000 It's just not.
00:01:20.000 It tastes like...
00:01:21.000 You know how it tastes.
00:01:22.000 It tastes horrible.
00:01:22.000 It's less calories with the same nutritional benefit.
00:01:27.000 Some would argue it even tastes better.
00:01:28.000 Fireblood and saliva.
00:01:29.000 You never tried it?
00:01:30.000 It's the real smoothie for real men.
00:01:36.000 Much better belly smoothie.
00:01:38.000 Mmmmm.
00:01:39.000 Mmmmm.
00:01:41.000 Delicious.
00:01:43.000 Wash it down with a nice healthy cigarette.
00:01:45.000 And you know what?
00:01:47.000 The best thing about it is, when you've finished consuming the original OG Fireblood Smoothie, you're not tempted to have sex with men.
00:01:54.000 Yeah, because if I had enough of those smoothies, you know, the idea of men in booty shorts seems appealing.
00:02:00.000 Yeah, there's something about the kind of person who would think this is necessary that would definitely be considering spending a lot of time with other men in a male strip club.
00:02:10.000 Something strange.
00:02:11.000 I don't know.
00:02:12.000 It seems coming.
00:02:14.000 Yeah.
00:02:15.000 You know?
00:02:16.000 Whereas this is 100% heterosexual.
00:02:19.000 Yeah.
00:02:20.000 Tastes absolutely horrible.
00:02:21.000 You know like when you kiss girls and you taste a whiskey and cigars?
00:02:24.000 That's the least of your problems after my fire blood smoothie.
00:02:27.000 I taste like fire blood.
00:02:28.000 Oh no, I taste like Celtic salt and bananas.
00:02:32.000 You fucking gay.
00:02:33.000 - Gay. - Are you Christmas shopping?
00:02:55.000 Yeah, because I have two Ferrari SF90s, and then the SF90XX came out, but I already had two SF90s, so I was deciding if I get the XX, but then I bought two McLaren W1s, which came out.
00:03:08.000 People who understand cars understand these are all V8 hybrids.
00:03:12.000 The W1s are three million each.
00:03:13.000 I bought two from McLaren, because 765 is obviously my favorite car.
00:03:16.000 I have seven of those, but I was deciding on the XXs.
00:03:19.000 And then the Aston Martin Valhalla's come out.
00:03:21.000 So I'm thinking if I buy three of these, one for the Dubai collection, one for the European collection, and one to drive, then I don't need the XX. So I'd actually probably be quite a smart financial decision to spec and order three Aston Martin Valhalla's today.
00:03:34.000 Andrew, no one needs three.
00:03:36.000 One I can get down with two, one for you, one for Tristan, and no one needs three.
00:03:39.000 No, I have a collection in Europe of cars never driven, and I have a collection in Dubai of cars never driven, and then I have one I'm going to drive with.
00:03:45.000 So I have to spec three now.
00:03:47.000 Which is quite annoying, it's a very busy day.
00:03:49.000 I have to get it done.
00:03:50.000 And then I probably won't get the SF9EXX, because I have two SF9s.
00:03:54.000 Then I have, from the hybrid V8 supercars, I'll have two SF9Es, I'll have three Valhalas, I'll have two W1s, and then obviously the other hybrids I have coming are the two Jamiro's I've ordered from Kernanzec.
00:04:06.000 And then that's all my hybrids.
00:04:08.000 Electric cars, I have the Rimac and the Rimac R. Navara, Navara R, both of those.
00:04:13.000 And then when it gets to the normal engine cars...
00:04:15.000 Which are not hybrid.
00:04:16.000 I have the Bugatti, I have the Jesco, and everything else.
00:04:19.000 Ah, Revoluto, I also have, which is a hybrid.
00:04:22.000 So I also got the Revoluto, and I've got two of the new Bugattis coming, which are hybrid also.
00:04:27.000 So everything is moving to hybrid eventually.
00:04:28.000 But I think that, I mean, I haven't bought many Aston Martins recently.
00:04:32.000 What did I buy this year?
00:04:33.000 I bought the new Vantage, I bought the V12 Vantage, the old shape, I bought the DBS 770, I bought the DB12, I bought the Vanquish.
00:04:39.000 So I've only bought five Astons this year.
00:04:42.000 So by adding three more, eight Astons a year, it's about normal.
00:04:46.000 I think you should give one to Rory for Christmas.
00:04:49.000 So he can crash it.
00:04:51.000 How many Astons do I have?
00:04:52.000 I have the Vanquish S that the cops took.
00:04:53.000 I have the DBS that the cops took.
00:04:56.000 Then I have the DBS 770, which I ordered.
00:04:59.000 The V12 Vantage.
00:05:00.000 They've come.
00:05:00.000 We did the video where they turned up here.
00:05:03.000 Then I've got the DB12 I've never even seen.
00:05:04.000 The new Vantage I've never even seen.
00:05:06.000 The new Vanquish I've never even seen.
00:05:07.000 I've never even seen any of them.
00:05:09.000 Three more of these.
00:05:11.000 Do I have, how many Astons do I have total?
00:05:13.000 15?
00:05:13.000 This is what I mean.
00:05:14.000 I have 15 Porsches, I have 8 Lambos, I have 16 Raris, and Aston's actually my favorite brand, so I should have a lot more.
00:05:24.000 I should have at least double.
00:05:26.000 So we're gonna get three of these today, and if I can come up with more specs I like, like if I come up with five or six cool different specs, maybe I'll get five or six.
00:05:35.000 Rory!
00:05:39.000 Andrew's Christmas shopping for you.
00:05:42.000 Andrew's Christmas shopping for you.
00:05:43.000 He's getting you a new Aston Martin.
00:05:44.000 That's not true.
00:05:45.000 It is true.
00:05:46.000 Look, he's specking it right now.
00:05:48.000 I promise it's not for you.
00:05:51.000 Is this the new?
00:05:52.000 You've got another one?
00:05:53.000 I'm ordering three today.
00:05:54.000 Three?
00:05:55.000 Why?
00:05:56.000 I thought you told me- It's a long story, but you know, a man's got to do what a man's got to do and it's just- Bro, you told me you'd had enough of cars.
00:06:04.000 D-car took two lots of cars and you're still ordering cars, bro.
00:06:08.000 Can I buy them faster than DCOT can take them?
00:06:11.000 I think I can.
00:06:12.000 So that's the game now.
00:06:14.000 I think so.
00:06:15.000 To out-seize them.
00:06:17.000 They have to do all this paperwork to seize my stuff and I can buy more.
00:06:21.000 It's going to be two-tone red with gold.
00:06:23.000 How much for the three of them?
00:06:26.000 About 1.2 each.
00:06:27.000 1.2 each?
00:06:28.000 3.6 on Aspen today.
00:06:30.000 3.6 on three Aspins.
00:06:32.000 Three Aspins today, but they're all identically the same.
00:06:35.000 One for the Dubai collection, one for the European collection, one to drive.
00:06:38.000 And if I buy these three, I probably won't buy an SFX90. SF90XX. Because I have two SF90s and they bought the XX out.
00:06:45.000 But I already have two SF90s and I look at the track times.
00:06:47.000 It's really not that different.
00:06:48.000 And I don't need a harder version of the SF90s fast enough.
00:06:51.000 So I've got two SF90s.
00:06:52.000 I'll skip the SF90XX. I'll get three of these.
00:06:54.000 And then the only hybrid cars I have are the new Bugattis, the Jamiro's, the new Revoluto Lambo.
00:07:00.000 Three of these.
00:07:03.000 I forgot some.
00:07:04.000 If you can't even count, you've got enough.
00:07:06.000 Ah, it's there and W1s.
00:07:07.000 I've got two W1s.
00:07:08.000 Two of them.
00:07:09.000 Two.
00:07:09.000 Two.
00:07:10.000 Two W1s.
00:07:10.000 So how much is that?
00:07:11.000 They're about three mil each.
00:07:12.000 No, but collectively, with this latest spree that you're doing...
00:07:18.000 Do you not think you're going to spend it on better things than you?
00:07:21.000 I won't.
00:07:22.000 Bitcoin.
00:07:25.000 Bitcoiners...
00:07:25.000 Listen.
00:07:26.000 Bitcoiners are trying to get rich.
00:07:27.000 I'm already rich.
00:07:28.000 So I buy Bitcoin to stay rich.
00:07:30.000 I don't have to get rich from Bitcoin.
00:07:31.000 And I'm not going to be one of those dorks who's like, I've got Bitcoin, driving a Toyota, thinking that makes me cool.
00:07:36.000 There are men out there who drive a Toyota and talk about the fact they have a Bitcoin and they expect, I don't know, a blowjob, but it's not going to happen.
00:07:41.000 You need a Ford F-150.
00:07:44.000 What, truck?
00:07:44.000 Yeah.
00:07:45.000 You need a pickup truck.
00:07:46.000 He just needs a pickup truck.
00:07:50.000 I don't think I could never, ever see Andrew driving a pickup truck, ever.
00:07:53.000 I'm going to buy him a pickup truck.
00:07:55.000 I think he would be the most bored man in the world.
00:07:59.000 I'm on house arrest for human trafficking.
00:08:01.000 So where are you driving these?
00:08:03.000 When?
00:08:03.000 Because they're just going to sit there like the others.
00:08:05.000 Bro, I got bitches that don't fuck.
00:08:06.000 I ain't got time to fuck them all.
00:08:15.000 I just got them.
00:08:17.000 You know?
00:08:19.000 Bro.
00:08:20.000 Admit that's a bad boy win.
00:08:21.000 What's the horsepower thing?
00:08:24.000 Ridiculous.
00:08:24.000 Bro, it's not even listed on the website.
00:08:26.000 It's just a spaceship, bro.
00:08:30.000 And that's the best one you can get.
00:08:32.000 There's no better Aston Martin you can get.
00:08:33.000 I love the Valhalla anyway, but the spec is just everything.
00:08:38.000 It looks so good that I should sell all my other Astons because I'm never going to drive them.
00:08:43.000 But I don't believe in selling cars.
00:08:45.000 Everything else is carbon.
00:08:48.000 Carbon tub, carbon everything.
00:08:53.000 Animal.
00:08:54.000 F-150.
00:08:55.000 Get fucked.
00:08:56.000 That's surely a hypercarver.
00:08:59.000 Yeah.
00:09:00.000 It's ridiculously quick.
00:09:02.000 On a track, it will piss on the Bugatti.
00:09:03.000 Bugatti isn't the best round track.
00:09:04.000 Okay, McLaren are asked in one.
00:09:06.000 I was about to ask that same question.
00:09:08.000 765 is my favorite car.
00:09:09.000 The W1, I think, is going to be unbeatable.
00:09:11.000 This is what I mean.
00:09:11.000 I know you're too...
00:09:12.000 The W1 is going to be unbeatable, but we're going to test the W1 against the Valhalla and see.
00:09:18.000 Bro, that's the thing.
00:09:19.000 It's hybrid.
00:09:20.000 It's good for the environment.
00:09:23.000 How much more powerful is the W1 to the 765?
00:09:27.000 Oh, double?
00:09:29.000 W1 is like 1,300, 1,400 horsepower, 765, 765 horsepower.
00:09:33.000 I'm already nervous.
00:09:34.000 Just thinking about the car review, I'm going to have to film with you riding shock.
00:09:37.000 Well, yeah, the W1 is 1,500 horsepower rear-wheel drive only.
00:09:39.000 At least this is four-wheel drive.
00:09:41.000 That's 1,500 horses to the back wheels only.
00:09:44.000 This is four-wheel?
00:09:45.000 This is four-wheel drive.
00:09:46.000 I can't imagine your lifespan is going to be much longer if you...
00:09:50.000 Bruv, no, I'll be honest, right?
00:09:52.000 I trust you 100% driving, right?
00:09:53.000 I've been in passenger seats with you.
00:09:55.000 I've been absolutely having it in that 765. Remember when COVID was on and we just raced around the streets and the policeman was throwing shit in the air to try to stop us and stuff?
00:10:01.000 Right.
00:10:02.000 That was insane.
00:10:03.000 And I was scared, bro.
00:10:04.000 I'm not going to lie.
00:10:05.000 I'm not going to act big.
00:10:06.000 I was scared.
00:10:06.000 So I don't know what the fuck you're going to do in this W1. Like, it's just going to be twice as...
00:10:10.000 Like, I don't know, bro.
00:10:11.000 I don't know.
00:10:12.000 You're going to...
00:10:12.000 It's going to be fun.
00:10:14.000 Marcel, talk some sense into Andrew.
00:10:16.000 He's trying to buy three of these Aston Martins.
00:10:19.000 Only three.
00:10:20.000 And Marcel.
00:10:22.000 Only three.
00:10:24.000 See, I... L-U-3 Bro, we're from L-U-3!
00:10:28.000 Stop saying L-U-3!
00:10:30.000 L-U-3!
00:10:30.000 You came up on the road!
00:10:33.000 L-U-3!
00:10:34.000 Made money!
00:10:34.000 I only had one because I was L-U-1 then.
00:10:37.000 Loser, that's right.
00:10:38.000 L-U-none, nigger.
00:10:43.000 That's a secret, bro.
00:10:44.000 Bro, look at the outside.
00:10:45.000 Let me show you.
00:10:47.000 It's gold.
00:10:48.000 Bro, that's fucking cold.
00:10:52.000 It's bad.
00:10:53.000 Don't like the number plate.
00:11:02.000 I don't know.
00:11:02.000 I just think they're going to...
00:11:03.000 That's coming down the road.
00:11:04.000 It's over.
00:11:05.000 It's over.
00:11:06.000 You're not going to drive that.
00:11:06.000 You're just going to get the W1 and leave them to collect dust.
00:11:09.000 I can see it now.
00:11:10.000 They're not going to be driven.
00:11:11.000 They don't know, bro.
00:11:12.000 Don't listen to it.
00:11:13.000 Don't understand.
00:11:14.000 It's going to be W1. Favourite.
00:11:15.000 Boom.
00:11:16.000 Boom.
00:11:16.000 W1. Every day.
00:11:17.000 W1. W1. W1. They're not going to get driven.
00:11:19.000 I've seen this happen time and time again, Marcel.
00:11:21.000 He's had two cars laying there with dust on them, bro.
00:11:24.000 Like, oh yeah, shit.
00:11:25.000 I forgot that one.
00:11:26.000 Like, what's the point?
00:11:28.000 Aston Martins is my favourite.
00:11:29.000 They're the best.
00:11:29.000 Aston Martins is the best brand.
00:11:30.000 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:11:31.000 It is.
00:11:31.000 Honestly, for luxury, I think Aspen Martin is.
00:11:34.000 You don't understand, Rory, that there are particular instances where you need particular cars.
00:11:39.000 If I'm going to go to a yacht show in Monaco, I need a Bugatti.
00:11:42.000 It's true.
00:11:43.000 I'll take my Bugatti.
00:11:44.000 And if I'm going to go racing around the mountains for the sake of purely racing like a dickhead, I'll take my McLaren.
00:11:49.000 But if I have to drop a USB stick full of Bitcoin to the other side of the continent, I put on a suit and I take my Aspen Martin.
00:11:58.000 It's a mission.
00:11:59.000 It makes sense.
00:11:59.000 Do you understand?
00:12:00.000 It's a mission.
00:12:00.000 It's like James Bond.
00:12:01.000 When I'm on a mission, I take the Astons.
00:12:04.000 When I'm racing, I take the McLarens.
00:12:06.000 If I have to go buy yachts, I take the Bugattis.
00:12:08.000 There's always a reason for each car.
00:12:10.000 So you change character.
00:12:10.000 One minute you're the villain, then you're the James Bond.
00:12:13.000 So you change characters depending on what car you're driving.
00:12:15.000 I'm Batman, I'll take the Lambo.
00:12:17.000 When I'm James Bond, I take the Astons.
00:12:18.000 It's real.
00:12:22.000 It's real shit.
00:12:23.000 You wouldn't go to the gym in a suit, would you?
00:12:25.000 Exactly.
00:12:27.000 So...
00:12:31.000 What?
00:12:31.000 Tristan, talk to your brother.
00:12:33.000 Tristan.
00:12:35.000 Let's just beat.
00:12:39.000 Ha ha ha ha ha.
00:12:41.000 Bro, where's the controls?
00:12:44.000 Let's go.
00:12:46.000 King K. Rool, let's go.
00:12:49.000 I even look like him.
00:12:50.000 It took me ages.
00:12:53.000 What, you just built that?
00:12:55.000 Yeah, I put it all...
00:12:56.000 Yeah, I can take me long.
00:12:59.000 What's up?
00:13:01.000 I don't know if I'm feeling D-D-D.
00:13:04.000 D-D-D.
00:13:05.000 Yeah, you like extra D, we get it.
00:13:07.000 Okay, fuck off.
00:13:09.000 I don't know if they're in the same room.
00:13:16.000 What is his weapon?
00:13:18.000 He's got a gigantic hammer and he's a big duck.
00:13:23.000 If a huge duck with a hammer came at you, you'd be scared.
00:13:27.000 Where the fuck go?
00:13:29.000 Where the fuck go?
00:13:30.000 Where the fuck?
00:13:34.000 Done.
00:13:34.000 Let's Rory out.
00:13:35.000 I'm out, yeah, and it's not fair because I was fucking King DDD and I've never played as King DDD before.
00:13:42.000 What happened to just being King K. Rool?
00:13:44.000 Now everyone's like, RANDOM! It has to be random.
00:13:48.000 You saved your man.
00:13:49.000 I got the computer with the fucking...
00:13:50.000 Saved your mum.
00:13:52.000 Do you know how I know you're all shit though?
00:13:54.000 Because the computer's going to win.
00:13:58.000 Who's Daisy?
00:13:59.000 Daisy's actually very good for this type of ridiculousness.
00:14:03.000 Remember, Daisy's actually a good character also.
00:14:07.000 She can float above the madness.
00:14:09.000 Yeah, which is important.
00:14:11.000 Well, must be a valid opinion from a misogynist.
00:14:17.000 If the misogynist is speaking well of Daisy, I agree, Daisy's good.
00:14:21.000 That's actually very, very easy.
00:14:28.000 And, you know, I won my game.
00:14:30.000 Well worth it.
00:14:31.000 What were you doing before this?
00:14:34.000 I'll go to sleep.
00:14:36.000 Hi, Satchelons!
00:14:40.000 Stick that up, you're asking!
00:14:43.000 Stick it right up, you're asking!