Tate Speech - July 24, 2022


CORONAVIRUS PARTY | Tate Confidential Ep. 80


Episode Stats

Length

12 minutes

Words per Minute

97.051796

Word Count

1,218

Sentence Count

167

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

4


Summary

Tristan and Andrew are on a bus with a bus full of whoopies and they can't find their watch so they go looking for it. They find it in a strange place but it's not where they expected it to be. Then they find it, but not in the way they thought it would be, and it's a bit of a disaster. This episode is brought to you by Gimlet Media and produced by Alex Blumberg. If you like what you hear, please HIT SUBSCRIBE on Apple Podcasts or wherever else you get your stuff. It helps spread the word about the show and make sure it reaches all the people who need it. Thank you so much for being a supporter of this podcast, it means the world to us and we can't thank you enough! Logo by Courtney DeKorte. Theme by Mavus White. Music by PSOVOD and tyops. We'd like to hear your thoughts on the episode if you liked it. Send us your voice messages and we'll get them on the next episode. Timestamps: 0:00 - Where's your watch? 1:30 - What's your favourite Christmas song? 2:15 - What do you think of the episode? 3:40 - What was your favourite present? 4: What s your favourite part of the show? 5:20 - What are your favourite thing about the episode so far? 6: What are you looking forward to listening to next? 7:10 - How do you're having fun? 8: what do you have a good day of the week? 9:00 11: What is your favourite moment of the day? 13: What's a good one? 15:00- What's the worst thing you're working for you right now? 16: Is it a good moment? 17:00s - What would you would you like to have in your life right away? 18:30s - what are you working on? 19:40s - do you want to have more of a party? 21:00 szn 22: What you're free? 25:00 & 27: what s your favorite thing? 26:00 +16:00 | What s a good idea? 27:00 Is there a good piece of advice? 28:00 // 27:20s - I don't know what you're looking for?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Good job, Atherton!
00:00:22.000 Am I super expensive to go?
00:00:48.000 I've loads of cigars, Mary, about £100 each.
00:00:50.000 And one in there that cost me £600.
00:00:53.000 And Andrew, who can't tell the difference, decided to smoke.
00:00:56.000 I can't tell the difference, but it's exactly the same.
00:00:58.000 It's exactly the same. I smoked it, but it's exactly the same.
00:01:00.000 No, you like smoke.
00:01:03.000 Clearly you like smoke.
00:01:04.000 He challenged me to a fight. I mean, if you want some smoke, some top quality smoke, I've got plenty.
00:01:11.000 Don't just steal from me because of fucking ass.
00:01:13.000 He challenged me to a straightener.
00:01:15.000 Now I'm interested in how to have a straightener over a cigar.
00:01:18.000 Why'd you smoke it? Because you like smoke.
00:01:20.000 It was very expensive. So now I'm getting ready to fight on your cigar.
00:01:24.000 I was wearing my smart cigar, but I can't say no to a cigarette.
00:01:27.000 Exactly. You like smoke.
00:01:29.000 I've got some smoke for you right here.
00:01:31.000 Come on, we'll see. So Andrew,
00:02:02.000 Tristan just put us on this bus.
00:02:05.000 Yeah, it's the surprise bus.
00:02:07.000 There are a lot of whoopies.
00:02:08.000 There are a lot of whoopies.
00:02:10.000 Whoopies on the bus. It's all over the bus.
00:02:12.000 The bus full of whoopies. That's me and you.
00:02:15.000 It can't be that bad. Andrew, I think this has something to do with you right now.
00:02:21.000 I don't know. What is it? Is this a birthday song?
00:02:24.000 I'm not going to be able to sing this song.
00:02:26.000 I'm going to be singing this song.
00:02:54.000 Oh no, rules. Listen, I don't follow blind rules.
00:02:57.000 These rules are not about safety.
00:02:59.000 What happened is I went to a party and the virus is bullshit and I do what I want and nobody can control me.
00:03:05.000 I have a 99.9% chance of surviving Corona.
00:03:09.000 This is not a good enough reason for me to stay in my house and hide.
00:03:12.000 So I do whatever I want.
00:03:13.000 That's what happened. Yeah, but you know, in Romania here we have some rules about partying and this kind of stuff.
00:03:20.000 Oh! Oh no! Rules! Oh no!
00:03:22.000 Rules! Listen, I don't follow blind rules.
00:03:24.000 These rules are not about safety.
00:03:26.000 It's a 99.9% chance of survival, my friend.
00:03:29.000 You think these rules are about safety?
00:03:31.000 No! These rules are about controlling people.
00:03:33.000 I'm more likely to die in a car crash than I am of corona.
00:03:36.000 I'm more likely to die of palinka that I drank last night than I am of corona.
00:03:41.000 It's bullshit. It's nothing to do with safety.
00:03:43.000 It's doing with controlling people.
00:03:44.000 They want everyone scared, and they tell everyone to be afraid, stay in their houses, and it's bullshit.
00:03:49.000 I will not listen to the rules.
00:03:51.000 Put me in jail. I will not listen.
00:03:53.000 I don't give a fuck what anybody says.
00:03:54.000 I do what I want.
00:03:57.000 The End.
00:04:14.000 Surprise party. Tristan's imagination.
00:04:32.000 Yep. Let's see what happens.
00:04:35.000 It feels Christmas.
00:04:36.000 Have you seen my Christmas hat?
00:04:38.000 I'm so happy to see you!
00:05:37.000 Foreå¡— Foreå¡— Fore Woo Fore Super Fore Is the camera
00:06:06.000 She's gonna buzz it over sing a little No, no, no I Thought you should be meanest You Know You Know You
00:06:31.000 And my watch and there's a man locked in a room There's a man locked in a room. We found the key now.
00:06:59.000 None of this makes sense. Found the key, but a man locked in the room.
00:07:02.000 This is the aftermath of the party, which we recorded not enough of.
00:07:05.000 I can't find my phone.
00:07:08.000 And I can't find my watch.
00:07:09.000 I never take my watch off.
00:07:11.000 So if I can't find my watch, I have to buy another one.
00:07:13.000 Shit. I mean, it was like, I don't know, 30 grand or something.
00:07:18.000 So it got beyond fun. Where's my watch, Georgiana?
00:07:21.000 Georgiana? My watch on my phone.
00:07:25.000 Why are the shoes just outside the room?
00:07:28.000 Freeing the prisoner. You're free.
00:07:32.000 You're free!
00:07:34.000 We freed you!
00:07:36.000 How did you get locked in here?
00:07:38.000 I don't know, where's my phone?
00:07:40.000 I hate birthdays.
00:07:42.000 They're shit.
00:07:44.000 Birthday, do things.
00:07:46.000 I do things every day of my life.
00:07:48.000 Now it's because it's a day.
00:07:49.000 I have to do things.
00:07:51.000 What the fuck is this? You have to have fun.
00:07:55.000 Andrew, people would kill to be in your shoes for one moment.
00:08:01.000 Yesterday, I made about $15,000 on one coin.
00:08:06.000 About $22,000. I made about 50 grand yesterday.
00:08:09.000 I was really drunk. I didn't really check my phone.
00:08:11.000 I checked this morning. I'm on track to make another 10 or 15 grand today.
00:08:16.000 So the money's keeping me sane.
00:08:17.000 Otherwise, I'll be really depressed.
00:08:21.000 Yeah, you're supposed to kill yourself. I can tell.
00:08:22.000 I see the depression.
00:08:25.000 Get ready to cave in. You'll notice no one else has clothes on.
00:08:37.000 You're out of my coat. You have shoes on.
00:08:39.000 My coat. Yeah, who smokes a cigar in the sauna?
00:08:43.000 Who doesn't? We hear my lungs. Sauna, cigar, Aikido?
00:08:50.000 Yes. Sauna, cigar, Aikido.
00:08:52.000 I need my coat.
00:08:53.000 Coming back. Nice glass of booze.
00:08:58.000 That's called booze. What's wrong with us, man?
00:08:59.000 We sharp. Who is this interesting man who comes in?
00:09:13.000 It's gonna be close!
00:09:16.000 Ruben, close the door, close the door!
00:09:19.000 Hey Ruben, get a picture, get a picture, ready?
00:09:23.000 Ready? 3, 2, 1...
00:09:27.000 So Tristan actually came back with his colors.
00:09:32.000 I'm depressed. Chris is a man's not hot.
00:09:38.000 He is a man's not hot.
00:09:40.000 I tell a man's not hot.
00:09:42.000 Luke, you look hot.
00:09:44.000 He's never hot. Babe said, take off your jacket.
00:09:49.000 The girl told me, take off your jacket.
00:09:51.000 I said, babe, man's not hot.
00:09:53.000 I tell a baby, man's not hot.
00:09:55.000 Exactly. Exactly.
00:09:57.000 This girl knows. Man's not hot.
00:09:59.000 Man's not hot. How's he not hot?
00:10:01.000 Perspiration ting. Perspiration ting.
00:10:04.000 Link's effect. Where?
00:10:12.000 I spent $10,000 driving the government of a small town to have a party, and you nerds are playing chess.
00:10:24.000 Who's winning? Tristan, can you go chess for like $10?
00:10:31.000 You didn't have to go for all this.
00:10:35.000 You could've helped me with my shoulder!
00:10:37.000 Lalala.
00:10:38.000 Lalalah.
00:10:39.000 Lalala.
00:10:41.000 Lalalalah.
00:10:43.000 What should we do these days?
00:10:50.000 I'm a party, party, party, decked in bling.
00:10:52.000 Why? We need to make sure he's never connecting to the speakers, ever.
00:11:02.000 Fuckin' roll! Tristan, we're ha- There!
00:11:05.000 Drink it! What do you mean?
00:11:07.000 Drink the beer or it's hands.
00:11:09.000 Why can't we just get gas like normal people?
00:11:17.000 Fuck gas! Sorry, Andrew.
00:11:26.000 Sorry. What'd you do?
00:11:27.000 Andrew, I'm sorry. Andrew.
00:11:31.000 Bro, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay?
00:11:35.000 Tristan, no one knows what you're talking about.
00:11:37.000 Sure you don't. I just told Georgiana to tell every single girl on the massive bus that there's a party at my house the moment it arrives at my house.
00:11:44.000 And when I get home, I'm gonna crank up the fucking Minele and start pouring the booze.
00:11:49.000 And you're drinking with me, Luke, you little fucking faggot.
00:11:52.000 Tristan, it's been non-stop for two days.
00:11:55.000 Luke, this, when you dance with the devil, you wait for the music to stop.
00:11:59.000 The music has stopped. The music has never stopped.
00:12:03.000 It never stops. There is no off-ramp to this.
00:12:07.000 Welcome to big school, Luke.
00:12:10.000 Where's my beer? Happy Birthday.
00:12:25.000 I'm sorry. He's sorry.
00:12:27.000 I'm sorry. Andrew, he's really sorry.
00:12:30.000 I'm sorry. Happy Birthday.