Tate Speech


DISCOVERING THE ORIGINAL SAMURAI | Tate Confidential Ep. 45


Summary

Tristan has an idea to make a new energy drink that s better than anything you ve ever had before and he s going to make it in the form of coffee. Will it work? Will it be good or bad? And will it be worth the price of admission? Find out on this week s episode of Take Confidential. Have a listen and decide for yourself if this is the drink you ve always wanted or if it s something you re going to have to give up forever! Just pay the 2.95 postage and you re in for a treat. If you don t have a car, you ll have to go to the nearest coffee shop to get a cup of joe, but if you do you re not going to like it, then you ll just have to listen to this episode and decide if you want to give it a try. Thanks to BigHerc916 for the tip, and thanks also to Bigherc916 and Bighirs916 for helping out with the sound quality of this episode. Don t forget to subscribe to the podcast and tell a friend about this podcast and/or tell your friends about it so they can be apart of the convo! Enjoy and spread the word to your friends and family about it! Love ya! XOXO, EJ & AJ. - The EJ Crew xoxo - EJ and AJ Music: "The EJ" - "Too Effing Goodness" by Jeff Perla - "Goodbye" by Ferg & AJ "Good Morning Coffee" by The Good Morning Coffee - "Outro: "Sigi" by EJ (feat. & "The Good Life" by Mr. Goodbye, "Mr. Badbye" by Ms. Goodbye by Mr Goodbyes ( ) and "Coffee and Goodnight, Thank you for listening to the EJ's Back" by Saje ( ) and AJ ( ) - "Thank You For Your Support and Good Luck & Good Luck, Bye" by Mrs. Goodnight & Good Morning, Thank You, Good Luck and Good Night, Love You, Love Ya'll ( ) by Mrs Good Morning & Good Night. by Mrs Ciao & AJ & AJ () Thank You for Your Support & Goodnight! - Thank You & AYO (Good Morning, Good Night & Good Nights


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Good shot there from Tate!
00:00:02.000 A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
00:00:20.000 But I'm not a girl.
00:00:22.000 I'm a girl.
00:00:57.000 So, I'm going to go for the forehand.
00:01:04.000 I'm going to go for the forehand.
00:02:00.000 Ciao.
00:02:02.000 No, no Red Bulls.
00:02:03.000 We're off the Red Bulls.
00:02:08.000 Yeah. No more Red Bulls.
00:02:17.000 So what do we need instead?
00:02:19.000 Nothing. Water.
00:02:20.000 Nah, well, there's water in the river.
00:02:22.000 There is water in the river.
00:02:24.000 Alright, I want the river.
00:02:26.000 I've got a new energy drink.
00:02:27.000 It's a herring. Gorgeous.
00:02:29.000 What's the alternative?
00:02:30.000 It's a super energy drink.
00:02:32.000 What is it?
00:02:33.000 Sparkling.
00:02:34.000 What's your idea?
00:02:37.000 What you do is...
00:02:39.000 Okay.
00:02:42.000 Catch it.
00:02:44.000 I need some water in the kettle. Give me a second.
00:02:48.000 Coffee doesn't dissolve in cold water.
00:02:49.000 I've got a plan to make the world's finest energy drink.
00:02:52.000 All I need...
00:02:53.000 You just gotta have a coffee.
00:02:54.000 No.
00:02:55.000 You're only supposed to use one.
00:03:08.000 Tristan. Stop.
00:03:10.000 There's ten coffees. That's eleven.
00:03:11.000 Twelve coffees. Fifteen coffees.
00:03:15.000 This won't resolve. Fifteen spoons of coffees.
00:03:17.000 I think that looks like an energy.
00:03:20.000 It doesn't. Get your yard time in.
00:03:23.000 Pre-workout. No.
00:03:25.000 Shout out to BigHerc916 on YouTube.
00:03:28.000 He gave me this.
00:03:30.000 He's a G. I don't think he'd approve of how this needs to be used.
00:03:36.000 You know, maybe not, but he is also a big strong man just like me.
00:03:40.000 And he understands that I'm an adult and I can do what I like.
00:03:43.000 Is this not going to give you a cardiac arrest?
00:03:46.000 This won't dissolve.
00:03:47.000 Vitamin tablet? There's no universe in it.
00:03:49.000 You do not need vitamins in that.
00:03:52.000 Half of a vitamin tablet. Are there any ice cubes in the fridge already?
00:03:56.000 Ice cubes? Yeah, ice cubes.
00:03:58.000 Why ice cubes? It's going to be too hot to drink.
00:04:03.000 This won't dissolve.
00:04:05.000 It will dissolve. It won't.
00:04:07.000 I'm off the Red Bull.
00:04:08.000 I'm trying to keep it healthy. We should just get back on the Red Bull.
00:04:14.000 I should mix Red Bull with this.
00:04:18.000 Teach you a lesson. It looks evil.
00:04:27.000 But it did dissolve.
00:04:28.000 Looks like the kind of drink that you just served in hell.
00:04:31.000 It's also too hot to drink.
00:04:33.000 Have some cold water.
00:04:35.000 What's wrong with you?
00:04:37.000 Why are you doing this?
00:04:39.000 This isn't an energy drink.
00:04:41.000 This isn't an energy drink.
00:04:45.000 It's not an energy drink.
00:04:47.000 It's the ultimate energy drink. No.
00:04:49.000 Okay. It did dissolve though.
00:04:52.000 I was wrong. It did dissolve.
00:04:53.000 It's basically liquid.
00:04:55.000 Taste test.
00:04:56.000 It's terrible, isn't it?
00:05:09.000 It tastes great, it's just too hot.
00:05:11.000 Ah! Energy for days.
00:05:23.000 Off the Red Bull. Keeping it healthy.
00:05:25.000 If you like the recipe, it's on my website.
00:05:27.000 $3,000. Are you okay, Tristan?
00:05:35.000 No! I feel energized and powerful.
00:05:40.000 I just need to lay down on the floor for a little bit and I can transfer all my energy into Mother Earth.
00:05:51.000 This doesn't work.
00:05:53.000 That's not science.
00:05:55.000 Or give me beer.
00:05:57.000 This isn't science.
00:05:59.000 I'll have to hold your camera right?
00:06:01.000 Give me beer.
00:06:03.000 And a coffee.
00:06:05.000 This is not science.
00:06:07.000 This isn't science at all.
00:06:09.000 This is like the anti-war.
00:06:10.000 there's no science here and Sigi A cup of tea and a ciggy. Okay!
00:06:34.000 I'm back! Andrew, do you know during World War II, Nazi scientists in the American military Like, drugs to keep their soldiers awake and alert so they didn't have to sleep and all that nonsense.
00:06:54.000 Is this more coffee? No, no, no, I've discovered it.
00:06:58.000 Yesterday I slept zero out.
00:07:00.000 Because of the coffee. No, but look, I'm fine.
00:07:04.000 I'm not tired and I slept zero out.
00:07:06.000 Don't do this. No, I've invented.
00:07:09.000 Scientists have tried this for hundreds of years and I finally cracked the formula.
00:07:14.000 15 spoonfuls of coffee, pre-workout.
00:07:17.000 If I add a bit of hot sauce for flavour, then I never have to sleep again.
00:07:22.000 I've solved it.
00:07:24.000 I'm gonna patent this and make millions.
00:07:26.000 More millions.
00:07:28.000 Richard, never. Never sleep again.
00:07:30.000 Don't do this.
00:07:33.000 I told you once, I think I told it in the last Take Confidential, but the video was a little bit dark, so I'm gonna tell you again.
00:07:46.000 If you are not a dickhead, Because a lot of you people who are watching this are actually dickheads.
00:07:50.000 You may not realize you're a dickhead.
00:07:51.000 Your friends may not tell you you're a dickhead.
00:07:53.000 But that's because you hang around with dickheads because you're a dickhead.
00:07:55.000 All the dickheads are together being dickheads and you don't realize.
00:07:58.000 But if you are not a dickhead, there may be a chance that you join the war room.
00:08:03.000 The war room is going to change your life.
00:08:04.000 So if you are watching this and you are not a dickhead and you want a life like mine, fucking fantastic.
00:08:09.000 Go to corporatetape.com and message the live chat agent.
00:08:12.000 You have to say, I am not a dickhead.
00:08:16.000 See you inside. What do we have here?
00:08:20.000 A whole box of fireworks for champagne shows.
00:08:24.000 And while I was getting the fireworks, I decided to order a little bit more champagne.
00:08:28.000 Might as well. One and a half liter bottles.
00:08:38.000 1.5.
00:08:40.000 We don't even like champagne drinks.
00:08:43.000 Oh.
00:08:44.000 Thank you.
00:08:49.000 You know, I do like Duke.
00:08:52.000 What? These? Thank you.
00:08:53.000 I like hoes, and hoes like champagne.
00:08:55.000 Hoes do like champagne. George, honey, you like champagne, don't you?
00:08:58.000 Yeah. Yeah, I knew it.
00:09:00.000 See? There you go. Yep. Hoes.
00:09:01.000 Confirmed. Confirmed.
00:09:05.000 36 more bottles. Wait, 36.
00:09:09.000 Yeah, 36. You don't need that much.
00:09:12.000 Yeah. I don't drink that much.
00:09:15.000 You can. You can.
00:09:17.000 You like champagne. Yeah.
00:09:19.000 If you drink that much, you're on your back.
00:09:21.000 For sure.
00:09:22.000 For sure.
00:09:23.000 I'm not having a good night.
00:09:29.000 Thanks for watching!
00:09:31.000 Where is everyone?
00:09:32.000 No. Water or water?
00:09:35.000 I do like water, but Tristan lives purely off champagne and booze.
00:09:40.000 I like the champagne.
00:09:42.000 What do I say?
00:09:44.000 Thank you.
00:09:46.000 Here.
00:09:48.000 1912.
00:09:50.000 Hi.
00:09:56.000 Thank you.
00:09:58.000 Perfect.
00:10:00.000 And good.
00:10:02.000 Perfect.
00:10:04.000 Thank you very much.
00:10:06.000 Thank you very much.
00:10:08.000 Thank you. Okay. Thank you.
00:10:09.000 See you next time, bro. Have a good day.
00:10:11.000 Ciao. See you. Goodbye. Why do we have all this?
00:10:14.000 We're drinking. There'd be air.
00:10:17.000 So they're just trying to kill us. There'd be air.
00:10:19.000 There wouldn't be air. Be a hero and go under some fucking fights because there's a problem.
00:10:23.000 You can lift all your big arms.
00:10:24.000 Ooh, you can't lift it off.
00:10:26.000 Show me your pussies. This is an idea.
00:10:27.000 And go under me. Alright. Can we survive?
00:10:30.000 Yes, we'll survive. Our head can't even survive.
00:10:33.000 Our head genuinely can't be.
00:10:35.000 There's air. No, we just have to go under water.
00:10:37.000 Alright, ready? 3, 2, 1.
00:10:40.000 No, there's zero air.
00:10:48.000 I tried to put my mouth up to the thing.
00:10:52.000 No. There's no air from it.
00:10:55.000 Yes. Now we need air to live.
00:10:57.000 Apparently, jacuzzis don't work with the cover on.
00:11:00.000 Yeah. In case you didn't know at home, because you don't have your own jacuzzi.
00:11:03.000 It's a bit less comfortable. You need to keep at least a portion of your body above the water so you can breathe.
00:11:10.000 Yeah. Without that, it's not the same.
00:11:13.000 They're not as pleasurable.
00:11:16.000 Well, now we know.
00:11:19.000 Here, we're gonna hand you a beer.
00:11:21.000 Why with sparklers?
00:11:22.000 We're millionaires. I didn't ask for them.
00:11:25.000 He didn't ask for beer at all.
00:11:27.000 I don't want to be. Get your fucking beer!
00:11:30.000 All the effort I went through, burning myself...
00:11:33.000 What sparkler in the pool is you have?
00:11:38.000 Nothing. Are they still firing?
00:11:42.000 It's burning magnesium, yeah.
00:11:43.000 It's not as long as you're going to do it.
00:11:48.000 Just hold on to water so you can make bubbles.
00:11:49.000 Let's make a bubble. One of them fell, no?
00:11:52.000 Yeah, that one's stuck. The other one's still got enough water.
00:11:55.000 Why aren't propelling itself? It's a little boat.
00:12:00.000 Okay, so now we're going to strap loads of sparklers to something that floats and try to make it float.
00:12:05.000 Obviously, we need to buy a big float.
00:12:07.000 All right, upcoming take-off and enter.
00:12:08.000 We're going to buy a big float. We're going to sit on it.
00:12:10.000 We're going to take a thousand sparklers.
00:12:12.000 We're going to light them all. Put them under the water.
00:12:14.000 We're going to launch across the pool.
00:12:16.000 It works, look!
00:12:17.000 It's working in theory.
00:12:19.000 A new method of propulsion.
00:12:21.000 We're crossing the Atlantic in no time.
00:12:25.000 Oh, is it out now?
00:12:26.000 Looks like it. Now our pool has sparkles.
00:12:32.000 So now our pool has a bunch of magnesium in it.
00:12:35.000 Is that good? Healthy.
00:12:38.000 Well, I've decided. Open beers.
00:12:42.000 When I do the time.
00:12:44.000 So it's time.
00:12:46.000 Why do I think something about it?
00:12:50.000 I get excited about a fire.
00:12:52.000 Ready?
00:13:00.000 How am I gonna...
00:13:02.000 No, I'm throwing it at you.
00:13:04.000 You're throwing at me?
00:13:06.000 Amateur hour.
00:13:08.000 Stand back.
00:13:10.000 How wrong can this possibly go?
00:13:12.000 Yeah, don't bat it into a car.
00:13:14.000 Zero percent. Ready?
00:13:16.000 Pull.
00:13:18.000 Pull.
00:13:20.000 Wow.
00:13:23.000 Got it. Next.
00:13:24.000 Boom! One can.
00:13:28.000 Ah, I missed that one.
00:13:30.000 Almost. Yeah, I know!
00:13:34.000 I saw! You can see the lid come off!
00:13:37.000 This is definitely a productive afternoon.
00:13:42.000 This is? Don't do it like a professional.
00:13:56.000 Where's the scabbard thing?
00:13:58.000 Oh, you're full of Alvin's slice.
00:13:59.000 You wish, bro! You wish!
00:14:02.000 No way! I, unlike you, am a professional.
00:14:08.000 This is good. No way.
00:14:11.000 Ready? You have to throw the bat.
00:14:13.000 Ready? Yep.
00:14:17.000 Yeah! Boom!
00:14:20.000 One more. One more.
00:14:34.000 I am the original samurai.
00:14:37.000 Why don't you just admit it?
00:14:39.000 You admit that I'm the original samurai and you're not.
00:14:43.000 This is how you make money.
00:14:45.000 This is. This is exactly- Now we're about to make loads of money.
00:14:48.000 With your Japanese-made samurai sword.
00:14:52.000 Loads of money is about to be made.
00:14:53.000 Yeah, loads of money. This is how money is made.
00:14:57.000 It is.
00:15:01.000 The samurai statue is happy now.
00:15:03.000 So Andrew admits that I'm the greatest samurai in the world.
00:15:08.000 I'm here for the Emoto massage shop.
00:15:10.000 It's an emergency.
00:15:22.000 It's not an emergency.
00:15:24.000 It's an emergency meeting.