Tate Speech - August 07, 2024


Eating Shamu from Seaworld | Tate Confidential Ep 248


Episode Stats

Length

10 minutes

Words per Minute

141.18227

Word Count

1,433

Sentence Count

225

Misogynist Sentences

8

Hate Speech Sentences

3


Summary

This episode is about a guy who wants to eat a whale for dinner and the weirdest thing happens... he eats a whale. And it's not good. It's not just weird, it's really weird. And he's eating a whale because he's mad at the environment and wants to know what they should do about it. And they don't have the money to pay for it, so he hires a chef to make him some whale meat. And the chef makes him whale meat, and he tries to make it taste like a whale, but it's actually not that bad, it just tastes like a weird thing that tastes like salami. And that's a good thing, because he doesn't have a problem with salami, because it's made of whale meat and it's delicious. And he also thinks that we should all eat whale meat because it tastes like something that lives on plankton, and that's not bad at all, so why not eat some whale? I don't know, maybe we should start a whale farm, and make it big enough that we can eat it on a boat. I don t know, but I guess we'll see what we can do, shall we? I'll tell you what we'll do, we'll just eat some whales, and see how we feel about it, and maybe we'll all agree that they're not so bad after all. We don't need to pay our rent, we should just keep them in a big, shallow, enclosed in a cage, right? We'll figure it out on a plankton farm. I'm not sure what we should do, but we'll figure that out together. . . . Thanks for listening to this one, okay? -Tristan, I'll see you next week. xoxo. -Eliot, -P.S. -Jude, -Drew, Andrew, and Tristan, and Andrew, I hope you enjoy this one. Thanks, Andrew and I'll talk about it next week, and I'm sorry if it's a little bit more complicated than that. XOXOXO. -PODDS -Jorge, Jake, P.M. :D -JUICY, JAMES, J.E. -R.A. - J.J. - P.A., EJ, D. B.


Transcript

00:00:00.000 And here's the chef in the back, preparing for dinner.
00:00:10.000 And the reason he's preparing for dinner is this.
00:00:13.000 On X, I recently posted that I'd rather eat whales and pandas than crickets and worms.
00:00:19.000 And someone who's been following me for a very long time, don't know her very well, said, look, I'll bring whale meat to Romania.
00:00:26.000 So I told her if she can get whale meat to Romania, there's a cash bonus.
00:00:31.000 So I've hired the chef today.
00:00:32.000 She's landed. She has the whale meat in tow.
00:00:34.000 She's on her way here right now.
00:00:36.000 And I'm about to eat whales.
00:00:37.000 One, because I want to try whale meat.
00:00:39.000 Looks delicious. Two, Because I've got to hook my boys up with some whale meat every once in a while.
00:00:44.000 Get whale power. And three, because it's going to really, really piss off the environmentalists.
00:00:49.000 So it's whale for dinner tonight Hello
00:01:15.000 How are you?
00:01:16.000 Dinner has arrived guys This is my whale choreo.
00:01:20.000 We're going to blur her face for the sake of the internet.
00:01:22.000 But she's bought me whale meat all the way from Norway.
00:01:25.000 I do, actually. Hey, you want me to meet you?
00:01:27.000 I'd like to meet you, too.
00:01:29.000 So I do have the...
00:01:32.000 This is like a tiny surprise, a little gift.
00:01:34.000 Oh, a little gift. Like whale salami.
00:01:37.000 And this is the whale meat.
00:01:38.000 Beautiful. Here we go.
00:01:41.000 Let me deliver it to the chefs.
00:01:42.000 And then I owe you some money I believe So I'm gonna share the whale with everyone
00:02:09.000 This is whale salami.
00:02:10.000 Come here. Some of the guys are here.
00:02:13.000 Alright guys. Whale salami.
00:02:16.000 Nice. Is it like a...
00:02:19.000 Right here. It's made of whale.
00:02:23.000 Hello. Hello, gentlemen.
00:02:26.000 Nice to meet you. Thank you. Is it banging?
00:02:28.000 I can't eat that. Bro!
00:02:30.000 You can only guess this is three countries in the whole world.
00:02:33.000 We need whales, bro.
00:02:35.000 No, we don't. Fuck whales.
00:02:36.000 This whale's not needed.
00:02:38.000 Name one whale you're friends with.
00:02:40.000 If I eat that... Did you miss this guy?
00:02:42.000 Eat the fucking whale. Eat the whale.
00:02:45.000 It's alright. It tastes like salami.
00:02:47.000 It's an interesting taste.
00:02:48.000 Bro, I will gladly take some whale.
00:02:50.000 You got them. Say like four.
00:02:53.000 No. Bro, it just tastes like salami.
00:02:55.000 No, wait for the aftertaste. That's what I'm saying.
00:02:56.000 It just tastes like salami. No, there is an aftertaste.
00:02:59.000 Yo. The aftertaste is unique.
00:03:01.000 That's something that's not in...
00:03:02.000 I've never tasted that before. I don't eat pork, so...
00:03:05.000 What the fuck does a whale have to do with a pig?
00:03:07.000 Because they said it tastes like pork.
00:03:08.000 I don't know if it tastes like pork.
00:03:10.000 Oh, shit, this is pork.
00:03:12.000 I mixed them up. Fuck. Whales are the most overrated animal.
00:03:39.000 Everyone's like, oh, the whales, the whales.
00:03:40.000 Whales don't pay your rent.
00:03:42.000 Whales aren't cute. They're not small.
00:03:44.000 They're not fluffy. You've never even stroked a whale.
00:03:47.000 You love puppies or whatever.
00:03:49.000 Cool. You've never even probably seen a whale.
00:03:50.000 If you have, it's been in SeaWorld or far in the distance, considering whether it eats you and your entire family.
00:03:55.000 Everyone says they live on plankton.
00:03:56.000 There's no fucking way something that big lives on plankton.
00:03:58.000 That's a conspiracy. Definitely eats humans.
00:04:00.000 100%. Now we eat them back.
00:04:03.000 First bite of whale. That's beef.
00:04:06.000 Fuck well. Why are you making a weird taste?
00:04:17.000 It's good, it's a new taste though.
00:04:20.000 It's a new type of meat, yeah.
00:04:22.000 It doesn't taste like beef or anything else, it tastes unique.
00:04:26.000 It tastes gamey.
00:04:40.000 Yeah, it tastes gamey.
00:04:42.000 Tastes like liver. There you go.
00:04:45.000 The most similar meat, venison, is a bit like whale.
00:04:48.000 Tastes like liver. Whale's interesting.
00:04:50.000 Alright, so, what's the verdict?
00:04:54.000 I'm super happy that I'm eating a whale.
00:04:57.000 Because I know people on the internet are going to be mad at me for this.
00:05:00.000 And be like, you're setting a bad example because we need to preserve the whales.
00:05:03.000 We don't. We need to preserve just enough whales to eat.
00:05:07.000 Maybe we should start farming whales.
00:05:09.000 How big would a whale farm have to be?
00:05:11.000 But I'm down for keeping them in small underwater cages, you know.
00:05:14.000 I'm not against those kind of farming methods.
00:05:17.000 I'm gonna add some taste. Tristan's Free Range Whale Farm.
00:05:23.000 Buy some ocean and just make it one big track where they have to swim around in circles all day.
00:05:28.000 Sprinkle a bit of plankton on top.
00:05:33.000 Nice. Business genius.
00:05:36.000 Andrew, do you have any final words about the whales?
00:05:41.000 No. Save the whales.
00:05:45.000 Marcel, what do you think of the whales?
00:05:47.000 They're the most majestic animal in the animal kingdom.
00:05:51.000 What you guys are doing is outrageous.
00:05:53.000 I can't believe it. I can't believe it.
00:05:57.000 You're shocked in awe. It doesn't even taste good, but I'm gonna eat it all to upset some environmentalists.
00:06:02.000 Yeah, I'm gonna eat as much whale as possible.
00:06:04.000 Tastes like liver. Exactly like liver, that's what it tastes like.
00:06:07.000 I bet it makes you strong. Whales can't make you weak.
00:06:09.000 You may hate them, but they are objectively probably, this is probably the strongest animal I've ever eaten.
00:06:13.000 Normally I'd agree with you, but you just had a bite and you look weak, so...
00:06:17.000 You just had a bite and you look weak.
00:06:19.000 Well, I've built this one. I've never lost a game.
00:06:21.000 I've never lost a game. Ask them.
00:06:24.000 Never lost a game, not one.
00:06:26.000 Are you talking about Uno? Never lost a game.
00:06:32.000 Built different.
00:06:34.000 Why would I not talk about Uno?
00:06:38.000 Go on. If you think you're a bad man, say something.
00:06:42.000 We'll play right after this.
00:06:45.000 Right after this!
00:06:47.000 That's right, shake your head.
00:06:49.000 Walk away!
00:06:53.000 Why are you drinking coffee at midnight?
00:06:59.000 I'm built different. Perhaps you didn't know that, Bailey, but you should.
00:07:03.000 When they built everybody, he decided to build me differently.
00:07:06.000 So I need coffee so I have the energy to relax.
00:07:09.000 You understand? No, it's not a thing.
00:07:12.000 I can't sleep without the caffeine boost required.
00:07:16.000 You never sleep, and this is probably why you never sleep.
00:07:19.000 This is not okay. Sounds to me like you're fucking up then.
00:07:22.000 Because you're sleeping, and I don't need to.
00:07:25.000 Wasting your life away, aren't you, Bailey?
00:07:27.000 Sleeping in bed, sitting around, being a nerd, wearing glasses.
00:07:32.000 Not me. Feel different.
00:07:33.000 If I started drinking coffee at midnight, you think it'd heal my eyes?
00:07:37.000 Might fix your neck. Admit it!
00:07:43.000 Admit it! I've never lost a game of Uno.
00:07:47.000 It's impossible for me to lose.
00:07:48.000 The math doesn't add up.
00:07:51.000 What is six plus nine?
00:07:54.000 Fifteen. One and five.
00:08:00.000 Think about it.
00:08:01.000 One and five.
00:08:03.000 All bases covered.
00:08:05.000 One and five sounds like your record.
00:08:07.000 One to five.
00:08:08.000 One win, five losses.
00:08:09.000 I have never lost a game of Uno.
00:08:12.000 Name a game I lost.
00:08:14.000 You were all playing Uno, sitting around, having fun.
00:08:16.000 I turned up and said, don't give me cards.
00:08:18.000 You gave me cards. I said, guys, don't let me win.
00:08:21.000 I said it. First game was kind of hard.
00:08:24.000 Dodger put up a good fight. You too.
00:08:29.000 Bro, easy.
00:08:30.000 Easy street. Easy street.
00:08:33.000 Admit it. Bailey, admit it.
00:08:35.000 Maybe it's the coffee. No, maybe you need to go read the Bible again and learn something about yourself.
00:08:41.000 On what page does it say Bailey's a loser?
00:08:45.000 Which page? Which chapter?
00:08:47.000 I don't think it says that in the Bible.
00:08:48.000 Well, maybe you need to decipher it like the Da Vinci Code.
00:08:51.000 One, five, work it out somewhere.
00:08:53.000 It's there somewhere. Shit glasses.
00:08:56.000 Can't play Uno. Top G. Never lost a game.
00:09:00.000 Undefeated. I'll do it again.
00:09:01.000 You think I'm scared of you? We'll play again right now.
00:09:03.000 And I will win again.
00:09:05.000 All on the line. Let's go!
00:09:06.000 Let's do it. I'm Bill Differin.
00:09:11.000 That's all I think, man.
00:09:13.000 Don't make that a thing.
00:09:14.000 This is a thing. No, it's not.
00:09:15.000 This is a thing for women's.
00:09:18.000 I got to the final. Is this a thing?
00:09:22.000 Look at me. I can't.
00:09:24.000 Look at me doing this move.
00:09:25.000 I can't. I lost the final.
00:09:27.000 I'm upset. I'm upset.
00:09:29.000 First time in history I've ever...
00:09:33.000 Well, I came first.
00:09:37.000 But you won. But I came first.
00:09:40.000 Did you lose that game? I've never lost a game.
00:09:42.000 He won, but I came first. I like that move.
00:09:48.000 Can you show it to me again?
00:09:50.000 One more time. One more time.
00:09:52.000 Can you see?
00:09:57.000 You can double it up.
00:10:00.000 Why is Uno a thing?
00:10:05.000 Who balled Uno? He's the real boss.