Tate Speech - EMERGENCY MEETING EPISODE 123 - DANGER!! DANGER!!

01:00:19.000 I want to start this emergency meeting off with a small apology to my brother.

01:00:24.000 Ah, okay.

01:00:25.000 Now, I don't like you, and you don't like me.

01:00:29.000 True.

01:00:29.000 And neither of us liked the Mr. Producer song.

01:00:36.000 But as much as the song is a single- Do you like the song?

01:00:39.000 No.

01:00:44.000 All right, I canceled my apology.

01:00:45.000 First topic.

01:00:46.000 No, no, no.

01:00:47.000 No, tell us.

01:00:48.000 What's your apology?

01:00:48.000 Go on.

01:00:49.000 Although no one likes the song.

01:00:51.000 No, everyone likes the song.

01:00:52.000 The song is clearly iconic.

01:00:53.000 Why?

01:00:54.000 Because a couple days ago, I was 3,200 meters up on the side of a mountain in the freezing cold in Kazakhstan.

01:01:02.000 And amongst all the Russian and Kazakh chat, I looked to my right because a young Kazakh guy, maybe 22, 23 years of age, in a thick Russian accent, was singing Mr. Producer at me.

01:01:02.000 Yeah.

01:01:16.000 Your song, people release songs and try to get them listened to by people outside of their country.

01:01:23.000 Romanian artists do that all the time.

01:01:23.000 That's a real thing.

01:01:25.000 There's only one or two that ever got played in the United States.

01:01:27.000 There's five or six that ever got played in Europe.

01:01:29.000 It's just like, does anyone outside of my country know my music?

01:01:31.000 And every musician has this problem.

01:01:34.000 Somehow a guy on a mountain in Kazakhstan knew the lyrics to Mr. Producer.

01:01:39.000 I don't know if he spoke any other English, but he had a thick Russian accent.

01:01:42.000 He was singing Mr. Producer at me.

01:01:46.000 Not to me, at me.

01:01:47.000 So I have to give you credit for your persistent Mr. Producering.

01:01:51.000 It worked.

01:01:52.000 I feel so happy right now.

01:01:54.000 I sung that song years ago randomly into the microphone.

01:01:57.000 It became a song.

01:01:58.000 You denied it.

01:01:58.000 And you're telling me that people in Kazakhstan sing at you.

01:02:01.000 In Kazakhstan.

01:02:02.000 Yeah, on top of a mountain in Kazakhstan at a ski resort in the freezing cold.

01:02:08.000 I think everyone at home should sing along.

01:02:09.000 No.

01:02:10.000 Mr. Producer.

01:02:12.000 A minute's banging.

01:02:12.000 One more time.

01:02:13.000 A minute it's a banger.

01:02:14.000 the producer So basically, I'm a globally renowned recording artist.

01:02:32.000 It seems that way.

01:02:33.000 Was it global?

01:02:34.000 It was in Kazakhstan.

01:02:35.000 Was I renowned?

01:02:36.000 Because he knows the words.

01:02:37.000 He knows the words.

01:02:38.000 Did I record it?

01:02:39.000 So I am a globally renowned recording artist.

01:02:39.000 Yes, you did.

01:02:44.000 I guess so.

01:02:45.000 To add to my long list of achievements, I'm also a music star, which can penetrate the Kazakh market.

01:02:51.000 It seems that way, yeah. 0.99

01:02:52.000 Can you admit it's a good fucking song? 0.99

01:02:54.000 Tristan, this is the best day of my life. 1.00

01:02:54.000 No. 1.00

01:02:57.000 I'm finally getting the recognition I deserve.

01:02:59.000 Tristan, I deserve recognition from Mr. Producer.

01:03:02.000 Have you ever written a song which has gone as globally viral as my song? 0.51

01:03:06.000 Have you ever made a song anyone gives a fuck about?

01:03:08.000 No, I have not. 1.00

01:03:09.000 No one has ever given a fuck about anything you have ever done in your entire fucking life. 0.99

01:03:13.000 That's a bit of a stretch. 0.99

01:03:13.000 You're a whole family. 0.99

01:03:15.000 That's a bit of a stretch. 1.00

01:03:16.000 Everyone fucking hates you. 1.00

01:03:18.000 Everyone hates you. 1.00

01:03:19.000 It's a banger. 1.00

01:03:20.000 One in the chat if Mr. Producer is a fucking banger. 0.99

01:03:25.000 Two of it's not. 0.98

01:03:26.000 Two of it's not.

01:03:26.000 No, all right.

01:03:28.000 Let's see.

01:03:28.000 Let's run the numbers.

01:03:30.000 You want to be a fucking badass? 1.00

01:03:32.000 Let's run the fucking numbers. 1.00

01:03:33.000 Because I have a strong suspicion you're going to be very disappointed about what happens. 0.99

01:03:36.000 One in the chat if it's a banger. 1.00

01:03:38.000 Two in the chat if it's not.

01:03:39.000 Let's see.

01:03:40.000 Let's see the numbers here.

01:03:41.000 Let's see.

01:03:41.000 No one cares.

01:03:42.000 Can we move on to the actual topics of this emergency meeting?

01:03:45.000 Mr. Producer makes the best shows, Mr. Producer.

01:03:52.000 Mr. Producer unironically bangs.

01:03:55.000 Correct.

01:03:55.000 Unironically, it bangs.

01:03:57.000 Tristan.

01:03:59.000 I see once.

01:04:00.000 I see ones.

01:04:01.000 I see.

01:04:02.000 PUBG, ones.

01:04:03.000 Breathe air.

01:04:03.000 I see a three.

01:04:04.000 I see a three as well.

01:04:05.000 A couple twos.

01:04:07.000 So who wins? 1.00

01:04:08.000 I'm a globally renowned recording artist, and you're nothing but a piece of shit that everyone hates. 1.00

01:04:12.000 Okay, so no one even wanted you on this show. 1.00

01:04:16.000 That's not true.

01:04:17.000 I got messages saying, why aren't you on the emergency meeting?

01:04:19.000 Nobody.

01:04:19.000 I said, because Andrew's annoying.

01:04:21.000 I quit podcasts.

01:04:23.000 I quit.

01:04:24.000 Wait, Let's go back.

01:04:26.000 Okay.

01:04:27.000 You think I'm annoying?

01:04:28.000 Yes.

01:04:29.000 Why am I annoying?

01:04:31.000 What have I ever done?

01:04:32.000 That's annoying.

01:04:33.000 Honestly, we're here doing a podcast together.

01:04:35.000 I'm your brother.

01:04:36.000 You've never said anything to you.

01:04:37.000 Calling me names your entire life.

01:04:38.000 Saying me annoying.

01:04:39.000 No, anything mean to you.

01:04:40.000 Well, name one thing I've done that's annoying.

01:04:41.000 You just said that no one.

01:04:44.000 I'm not.

01:04:45.000 I see what you're doing.

01:04:46.000 What am I doing?

01:04:47.000 What do I do that's annoying?

01:04:48.000 Tell me, what do I do that's annoying?

01:04:50.000 Tell me what I do that's annoying.

01:04:51.000 I don't even do anything.

01:04:54.000 Anyway, Tristan's being immature.

01:05:36.000 We're back.

01:05:37.000 Okay, so you played Mr. Producer so many times it froze the stream.

01:05:41.000 No more, Mr. Producer.

01:05:41.000 Great.

01:05:42.000 Now let's go on with the emergency meeting.

01:05:44.000 Andrew, what were you doing in Kazakhstan?

01:05:44.000 Okay, but just.

01:05:46.000 One second, first performance.

01:05:47.000 No, not one second.

01:05:48.000 Because I swear to God, I will give up again.

01:05:51.000 Why don't you like doing emergency meetings?

01:05:53.000 It's not about emergency meetings. 1.00

01:05:55.000 It's about your antics and your bullshit. 1.00

01:05:58.000 No, but you don't like doing them with me. 1.00

01:05:59.000 Because you're about to do emergency Mr. Producer.

01:06:01.000 No, but you don't do them with me anymore.

01:06:03.000 Why don't you like doing emergency meetings with your brother?

01:06:05.000 Don't like you.

01:06:09.000 I don't like you.

01:06:10.000 But I'm a globally renowned recording artist.

01:06:12.000 I've heard.

01:06:12.000 I know.

01:06:13.000 I agree.

01:06:13.000 I'm famous.

01:06:14.000 I've heard.

01:06:15.000 So, what were you doing in Kazakhstan?

01:06:17.000 Why were you there?

01:06:18.000 And what did we get up to?

01:06:31.000 Sorry, what'd you say?

01:06:41.000 What'd you say?

01:06:42.000 Sorry, I didn't hear you.

01:06:43.000 Say it again.

01:06:44.000 What'd you say?

01:06:47.000 No, I'm serious now.

01:06:48.000 What'd you say?

01:06:48.000 I didn't hear you.

01:06:49.000 I've frozen.

01:06:49.000 I wasn't paying attention.

01:06:50.000 No, you haven't.

01:06:51.000 That's what you said.

01:06:52.000 Let's do the emergency meme. 1.00

01:06:53.000 Let's stop being stupid. 1.00

01:06:54.000 You're right. 1.00

01:06:54.000 It's freezing the streams. 1.00

01:06:55.000 Too much bullshit. 0.99

01:06:56.000 So what were you talking about? 1.00

01:06:57.000 Kazakhstan, right?

01:06:58.000 Right.

01:07:07.000 Enough.

01:07:09.000 Here, here's my mouse.

01:07:11.000 Tristan, I'm about to entrust you with the Mr. Producing Mouse.

01:07:15.000 This is the most important day of your life.

01:07:18.000 You have never had anything of value.

01:07:20.000 Nobody likes you. 1.00

01:07:21.000 Everyone thinks you're a fucking dickhead. 1.00

01:07:23.000 Your entire family hates you. 1.00

01:07:25.000 The mothers of your kids message me. 1.00

01:07:26.000 We're all in a big group chat talking about you all the time, how everyone hates you, how you suck. 0.99

01:07:30.000 But I'm still going to give you the most important and valuable thing on the planet. 0.99

01:07:33.000 The one mouse that can make you famous in Kazakhstan if you sing a song.

01:07:37.000 I'm going to give you the Mr. Producing Mouse.

01:07:40.000 This is a big chance for you.

01:07:44.000 A really big chance.

01:07:46.000 If you stay frozen, you can't use it here.

01:07:54.000 Okay, everyone.

01:07:54.000 So Tristan's frozen.

01:07:56.000 So for the rest of this show, we're going to talk about all the things we hate about Tristan.

01:08:00.000 Can you super chat everything you hate about Tristan and I'll read it out?

01:08:04.000 I didn't blink for like two minutes.

01:08:05.000 Well, you missed your chance now.

01:08:06.000 Okay, the mouse.

01:08:09.000 So are you going to answer the question that I asked or not?

01:08:11.000 Are you going to ask me to repeat myself?

01:08:12.000 No, no, no.

01:08:12.000 What was the question?

01:08:13.000 I'm listening now.

01:08:14.000 My listening ears are on.

01:08:17.000 Go.

01:08:17.000 I'll go.

01:08:18.000 I'll go frozen again.

01:08:19.000 I'm listening.

01:08:20.000 I'll freeze myself.

01:08:20.000 I'm going to answer it.

01:08:21.000 It's not a trick.

01:08:22.000 I would not, I wouldn't hide you.

01:08:22.000 I swear I'll freeze myself.

01:08:23.000 I'll answer the question, I promise.

01:08:27.000 I'm listening.

01:08:28.000 What's the question? 1.00

01:08:28.000 What's the fucking question? 1.00

01:08:30.000 I'll answer it. 1.00

01:08:30.000 I promise I'll answer it. 1.00

01:08:34.000 It's not a trick.

01:08:38.000 Anyway, so we were in Kazakhstan.

01:08:41.000 Tristan, what were we doing in Kazakhstan?

01:08:42.000 Why don't you tell everyone what we were doing there?

01:08:44.000 That's why I asked you.

01:08:47.000 Why were we in Kazakhstan?

01:08:48.000 Let the people at home know.

01:08:51.000 That's the question I asked you.

01:08:56.000 Yeah, but Kazakhstan's a weird place.

01:08:58.000 I just like Kazakhstan.

01:09:00.000 It's a beautiful country.

01:09:01.000 I like horse meat.

01:09:02.000 To be honest, I was extremely surprised by how nice Kazakhstan was.

01:09:05.000 It was super, duper nice.

01:09:08.000 Very well organized.

01:09:10.000 Almaty is a very clean city.

01:09:13.000 Felt safe.

01:09:14.000 No holes in the road.

01:09:15.000 It looked better than Europe. 0.99

01:09:17.000 Couldn't believe it.

01:09:17.000 So the opposite of Romania then.

01:09:19.000 Yes, basically.

01:09:19.000 Yeah.

01:09:20.000 I'm sure jail there sucks too. 0.97

01:09:21.000 I'm sure it sucks, but at least you'd probably go to jail if you did something maybe. 0.98

01:09:25.000 They don't just steal from foreigners and lock them up for no reason.

01:09:28.000 Well, we're not going to know unless we move there.

01:09:31.000 Let's move there.

01:09:31.000 Shall we?

01:09:32.000 I'll move to Kazakhstan. 1.00

01:09:33.000 Yeah, fuck it. 1.00

01:09:34.000 We did get famous by moving to a strange country and having a super fun life. 1.00

01:09:37.000 Should we buy a mansion in Kazakhstan and live there for a year?

01:09:40.000 That would be awesome.

01:09:41.000 We could raise our own horses and then ride them and then eat them and then make that Kazakh alcoholic milk drink.

01:09:47.000 Should we give up on Romania and move to Kazakhstan?

01:09:50.000 That's a great idea. 1.00

01:09:51.000 And just fucking buy a fat fucking mansion. 1.00

01:09:53.000 I am down for moving to Kazakhstan. 1.00

01:09:54.000 I would actually, today I'd sign off on that right now.

01:09:57.000 The mountains of Kazakhstan.

01:09:58.000 Where does Tristan live? 0.98

01:09:59.000 In a fortress in the mountains of Kazakhstan.

01:10:03.000 Very bond villain of me.

01:10:06.000 You know the reason I want to do this emergency meeting, Tristan?

01:10:09.000 Go on, tell me.

01:10:10.000 I want to try and spread some positivity.

01:10:12.000 Yeah, me too.

01:10:13.000 Because the world needs someone.

01:10:15.000 The internet's become a toxic cesspool of crybabies and haters arguing about things that don't concern.

01:10:22.000 You know, there used to be, for example, things used to happen in the past.

01:10:27.000 Let's say Belgrade was bombed by Americans, right? 1.00

01:10:32.000 And overwhelmingly, the sentiment was, I don't really understand the situation, but I pray for everyone in Belgrade.

01:10:40.000 I hope everyone's fine.

01:10:41.000 That was genuinely the sentiment, you know?

01:10:42.000 Things would happen.

01:10:43.000 The 9-11 terror attack happened in New York.

01:10:45.000 And the general sentiment was, I really hope that people get out of the building and I pray for everyone's family.

01:10:51.000 That was the general sentiment, right?

01:10:53.000 Now it's like, if there were, happened last week, a cartel war in Mexico and everyone's shooting each other.

01:11:02.000 I'm thinking, because I'm old, I hope everyone in Mexico is okay.

01:11:06.000 That's what I'm thinking.

01:11:08.000 And then you have people on the internet, ha ha ha. 1.00

01:11:11.000 If you're in Mexico, you're a fucking spic-loving, goot fucking sand-nigger-loving sellout. 1.00

01:11:19.000 Everyone's ripping on the people in Mexico, calling them all names, saying how shit Mexico is. 1.00

01:11:25.000 Look, can you not just wish people the best? 1.00

01:11:28.000 Now, there's strikes going on all over the world.

01:11:32.000 Now, to prove that it's haters is everyone's concentrating.

01:11:36.000 All of Twitter, no one's caring about the city blocks being leveled in Tehran, where I wish everyone to be safe.

01:11:44.000 In Tel Aviv, where I wish everyone to be safe.

01:11:46.000 Jerusalem, where I wish everyone to be safe. 0.99

01:11:48.000 Fucking Lebanon, where I wish everyone to be safe. 1.00

01:11:50.000 Everyone's concentrating on the number one place it's cool to hate. 1.00

01:11:54.000 Dubai.

01:11:55.000 Zero deaths so far in Dubai.

01:11:57.000 Falling debris is lighting fires.

01:12:00.000 And one hotel caught fire.

01:12:02.000 Instead of thinking, oh, I hope everyone in Dubai is okay.

01:12:04.000 It's, ha ha ha, you tried to avoid your tax and now there's bombs.

01:12:08.000 And the people who are in Dubai don't actually need to do damage control, but they're fighting back and they're fighting back.

01:12:14.000 It's not just Iran versus Israel and America now.

01:12:17.000 It's people who like Dubai and people who hate Dubai flooding my algorithm with negativity. 1.00

01:12:23.000 The whole world is fucked. 1.00

01:12:26.000 Charlie Kirk showed us that when he got shot. 1.00

01:12:28.000 No one thought, oh, well, I wish the best for his family like I did.

01:12:31.000 Everyone who hates him was like, ha ha ha, I'm glad he got shot. 0.84

01:12:33.000 I hope this guy's next. 0.94

01:12:34.000 Hope Andrew's next.

01:12:35.000 Hope Trump's next.

01:12:36.000 Blah, blah, blah. 1.00

01:12:37.000 Because people are fucking retarded. 1.00

01:12:38.000 So the internet has become so negative. 1.00

01:12:41.000 I think me and you, because we have always been warriors of counterculture, haven't we?

01:12:47.000 You know, we were against the vaccine when no one else was, against the lockdowns when no one else was.

01:12:51.000 We told the truth about various wars in Ukraine and Palestine, et cetera, when no one else would.

01:12:55.000 And we did all these things and we got banned and we got canceled and we got Matrix stacked and we got thrown in jail.

01:12:59.000 And now everyone pretends that they were all anti-COVID from the beginning.

01:13:04.000 Now they call it out.

01:13:05.000 Now that it's safe to do so.

01:13:06.000 Me and you have been counterculture warriors.

01:13:08.000 So if the culture is negativity and bullshit, then surely your and I's mission should be to spread positivity and happiness to the former happy place called the internet. 0.79

01:13:21.000 Yeah. 0.65

01:13:22.000 I wish everybody well.

01:13:24.000 I wish you well if you live in London and you pay tax.

01:13:27.000 I wish you well if you're in Dubai and you're not paying tax.

01:13:30.000 I wish you well all around the world.

01:13:32.000 Top G's message to all of you people at home is I hope you're all happy and all safe.

01:13:37.000 You're completely right that the internet has become so full of hate now that there are people hoping that fathers and mothers and children get blown to smithereens because they've decided to live somewhere different.

01:13:50.000 It's completely crazy how much hate is in people's hearts.

01:13:55.000 You don't have to like Dubai, but you don't have to wish death on everyone who's there.

01:13:58.000 For example, when things happen in Europe, for example, or a mass shooting just happened in America yesterday, I believe, or a terrorist attack happens in Europe, I believe three people were stabbed outside of a school in Scotland just 24 hours ago. 0.84

01:14:12.000 I make a point about how ridiculous the politics are and how ridiculous the politicians are for allowing this.

01:14:16.000 But what I don't do is, ha ha ha, people in Scotland, you get what you deserve. 0.95

01:14:21.000 You should have moved to Singapore or Dubai or the Caribbean or a tax haven. 1.00

01:14:25.000 You're so stupid for being in Scotland. 1.00

01:14:27.000 You deserve to be stabbed. 1.00

01:14:28.000 I hope you bleed to fucking death. 1.00

01:14:30.000 Don't dare come to Dubai now with knife wounds on your face because you look stupid. 1.00

01:14:34.000 I hope you die. 1.00

01:14:36.000 What is wrong with the world, Andrew? 1.00

01:14:39.000 Has it just broken down fundamentally?

01:14:41.000 The only community I see any positivity in is inside the real world.

01:14:45.000 That's the only real platform left that's not full of hate bots and retards and is a good community that actually because brokeies are mad. 1.00

01:14:52.000 Brokeies are mad. 1.00

01:14:54.000 The entire world's going broke.

01:14:55.000 Everyone's losing their job.

01:14:57.000 It's have-nots and have-youngs.

01:14:58.000 And poor people are very, very angry.

01:15:00.000 And the poor people who can't afford to live in Dubai are angry at the people who can't afford to live in Dubai.

01:15:04.000 And the people who do live in Dubai trust the government and they have a fantastic life.

01:15:07.000 So they feel obligated to defend it.

01:15:09.000 And now we have this insanity.

01:15:10.000 World War III has nothing to do with Iran and Israel anymore.

01:15:13.000 World War III is people who like to buy versus people who don't on Twitter.

01:15:17.000 Why can't everyone just wish each other love?

01:15:19.000 From me, top G to you, I wish you love, peace, and happiness no matter where you are.

01:15:25.000 I hope nobody gets bombed.

01:15:27.000 I hope nobody has a bad life.

01:15:29.000 I hope nobody gets stabbed.

01:15:30.000 I wish peace and love for everyone.

01:15:33.000 And you're right.

01:15:34.000 Previously, when bad things would happen, it would be thoughts and prayers for the people affected. 0.99

01:15:38.000 Now nobody gives a shit. 0.95

01:15:40.000 Everyone's just busy laughing at each other and trying to drag other people down. 0.94

01:15:44.000 And this isn't the way to be, guys.

01:15:46.000 This isn't the way to get ahead in life.

01:15:48.000 You can't get ahead in life with negativity.

01:15:50.000 Karma is real.

01:15:52.000 Karma comes around and it slaps you in the face when you say bad things and when you think bad things.

01:15:58.000 When you're observing this war, this unfortunate circumstance that nobody fully understands yet, you need to be hoping and praying for every child, for every family, for every parent, for every innocent bystander, hopefully to not have their life destroyed, irregardless of where they live.

01:16:14.000 Being so petty and so full of hate that you're going to say people deserve to die for choosing to live somewhere you don't live.

01:16:22.000 Dubai is just highways.

01:16:24.000 I like trees. 0.99

01:16:25.000 I hope you get blown to pieces. 1.00

01:16:27.000 If you're that big of a dipshit, well then that's why you're poor. 1.00

01:16:32.000 We want everyone to be peaceful. 1.00

01:16:34.000 We want everyone to be happy and everyone to be safe.

01:16:37.000 This is our message, irregardless of whether you live in Dubai or otherwise.

01:16:41.000 So I want to make that very clear on this emergency meeting.

01:16:43.000 We hope everybody can continue to have fantastic lives and do their very best to remain unaffected by these unfortunate circumstances.

01:16:51.000 Yeah, because, you know, the idea of politics, especially in the last 10 to 12 years, has really gone out the window.

01:16:59.000 Because you can vote for who you want based on what they say.

01:17:03.000 Kier Starmer or who is the conservative running against him?

01:17:07.000 Rishi Sunak.

01:17:08.000 Who cares?

01:17:09.000 Doesn't matter.

01:17:09.000 Who cares?

01:17:10.000 And every single country in the world holds all these elections and spends millions of dollars, billions and billions of dollars every single year trying to get re-elected.

01:17:18.000 But a handful of, what, 10 dudes could just start a war that affects the whole Middle East and gets everyone blown up.

01:17:25.000 For no reason.

01:17:25.000 That's a great point.

01:17:26.000 So, you know, there used to be this accountability with all politicians worldwide where you would vote for a leader in, let's say, Romania.

01:17:35.000 And, you know, the candidate who you vote for actually gets to win because he won.

01:17:39.000 You don't get to cancel the election. 0.92

01:17:40.000 You don't get to fuck up the election.

01:17:42.000 And then he'd say, I'm not going to raise taxes, for example. 0.98

01:17:46.000 And you'd vote for him.

01:17:47.000 And then if he raised taxes, there'd be a mass riot and you'd throw the guy out or at least he'd get voted out the next election.

01:17:54.000 Instead, politics has gone so wrong that decade after decade, all of the things that people don't want and keep voting against keep happening nonetheless.

01:18:06.000 So I don't feel that this Iran situation between Iran, Israel, the United States could have been avoided by voting in Ronald McDonald or the Pope.

01:18:16.000 I believe that the global forces, the matrix that are at work to get the things that they want to happen to happen transcends all politics.

01:18:27.000 Guys, if you want to make a positive change in the world and if you want to have something very lucky happen to you this week, if you want something lucky that changes your life and puts you in a positive trajectory this week, I need you to post something positive talking about all the people affected by this war.

01:18:46.000 This is genuine.

01:18:47.000 This is karma.

01:18:48.000 It's going to show you that it's real.

01:18:49.000 Post something positive praying for everybody in every location, all of the innocent bystanders, all the people who do not leave Europe and go to Dubai, all the people who have left Europe and have gone to Dubai.

01:19:01.000 Put something positive on the internet praying for everybody who is affected and you will see something fantastic happen to you this week.

01:19:07.000 Test it out.

01:19:08.000 All of the viewers of Tate's emergency meeting, let's all try and sped positivity.

01:19:12.000 Let's all change the current rhetoric, which is trying to laugh at people for their misfortunes.

01:19:17.000 Let's all try and be positive people and we're going to benefit karmically.

01:19:20.000 So that's what I want everybody to do.

01:19:22.000 I'm going to do a tweet about it after this show.

01:19:24.000 I want all you guys on your social media to just say something positive.

01:19:27.000 Let's try and break this brick wall of negativity.

01:19:30.000 Let's try and break it down.

01:19:32.000 But I do want to say one more thing. 0.97

01:19:36.000 And maybe I'm just too much of a real nigger.

01:19:42.000 But if I had to choose between the odd drone and 50% tax, I mean, I'm going to take half your money forever, no matter what you do. 0.64

01:19:54.000 So you're never going to be able to afford a yacht or a jet.

01:19:57.000 Or you can have a yacht and a jet and a beautiful house and 10 wives because you can afford to pay for them all because you got double the money. 0.90

01:20:03.000 But there might be a little drone somewhere over there, which you're a building you're not in.

01:20:09.000 And then people on the internet are going to try and laugh, but you're going to be too rich to get it.

01:20:12.000 Well, the statistical analysis is something that I posted under one of Pavel Durov's tweets, which is very true.

01:20:17.000 In the last year, zero people in Dubai have been killed by missiles or drones.

01:20:21.000 That's still true.

01:20:22.000 Zero.

01:20:23.000 A hotel's on fire.

01:20:24.000 But the answer is zero.

01:20:25.000 There's been 14,800 knife attacks in the city of London alone in the last year.

01:20:31.000 So statistically, I've made my choice, and I think it makes a lot more sense.

01:20:36.000 Guys, this entire situation is a huge litmus test.

01:20:42.000 The world is becoming hyper-negative because people are going broke and people are angry.

01:20:47.000 They feel like they've been fooled by Trump.

01:20:48.000 They thought that MAGA was going to save them.

01:20:50.000 They can't pay their bills.

01:20:52.000 Inflation's out of control.

01:20:53.000 Crypto has tanked.

01:20:54.000 The stock market has tanked.

01:20:56.000 AI's taken their jobs.

01:20:57.000 Everyone is scared.

01:20:59.000 Everyone is mad.

01:21:00.000 Everyone is negative.

01:21:01.000 This is a test.

01:21:02.000 It is a litmus test from the universe.

01:21:04.000 If you can stay positive and wish other people well in these scenarios, you will be massively karmically rewarded.

01:21:11.000 You must be positive and nice to people when nobody else is being positive and nice.

01:21:16.000 That is how you break the mold.

01:21:18.000 It is our mission to make you laugh, to have a joke, and for everybody to have a fantastic life.

01:21:23.000 I hope everyone watching this clip or this podcast makes billions of dollars.

01:21:29.000 I hope you're all safe.

01:21:30.000 I hope all your parents and your family and your children are safe.

01:21:33.000 It doesn't matter where you live. 1.00

01:21:34.000 And if you decide to uproot and move to Japan, I wish you the absolute best when you eat those motherfucking noodles. 0.99

01:21:41.000 Eat those noodles. 0.99

01:21:42.000 You're in Japan.

01:21:43.000 You're eating noodles. 0.99

01:21:44.000 I don't want a drone to hit you in the head. 1.00

01:21:46.000 You're just a motherfucker eating noodles. 1.00

01:21:47.000 I don't want an earthquake to fucking make a tidal wave that destroys your Japanese village. 1.00

01:21:52.000 I don't want Fukushima to give you fucking radiation as you try and ingest your rice. 1.00

01:21:57.000 I want you to eat your fugu, eat your noodles, eat your kobe beef, learn your kung fu, and fucking sharpen your samurai sword in peace. 1.00

01:22:06.000 Eat your rice. 0.99

01:22:07.000 I hope your life is nice.

01:22:10.000 I might say it twice.

01:22:15.000 Give me a rhyme.

01:22:17.000 Give me a rhyme.

01:22:18.000 If you're not positive, you'll pay the price.

01:22:19.000 Nice.

01:22:22.000 If you're not positive, you'll pay the price. 0.97

01:22:23.000 So if you want to move to fucking Timbuktu with the Ngnogs, I wish you the absolute best. 1.00

01:22:29.000 No one's going to bomb Timbuktu. 0.99

01:22:30.000 They haven't even built a building. 1.00

01:22:31.000 They're stupid. 1.00

01:22:32.000 That's racist. 1.00

01:22:35.000 Sorry. 0.99

01:22:35.000 If you want to move to fucking Timbuktu, then I wish you the absolute best. 0.99

01:22:40.000 I don't want all this negativity, guys. 0.99

01:22:42.000 We need to be happier. 0.98

01:22:43.000 I put up a video of me dancing to George Michael looking cool as fuck. 0.99

01:22:47.000 And everyone's like, wow, he's so fucking cool. 0.99

01:22:50.000 But there was the odd person who was like, I hope he dies. 0.99

01:22:53.000 It's like, you can't get ahead in life if that's how you think.

01:22:56.000 You know what it is, Andrew?

01:22:58.000 I felt, even on our chat, on our emergency meetings, and our tweets, and our posts, and our...

01:23:03.000 Before we continue, guys, we're only reading Super Chats $50 and up, or we get too many.

01:23:07.000 $50 and up only for super chats.

01:23:08.000 You've got them on your laptop?

01:23:10.000 I feel like, you know, misery loves company.

01:23:13.000 And there was a time when every single piece of interaction towards us on Twitter, on Rumble, on our chat, on things that we post, on every single fan video posted of ours was 100% positive.

01:23:26.000 And you know when that was?

01:23:28.000 When there was the illusion that we were suffering too.

01:23:31.000 I told everyone I was going to make it out of this matrix attack.

01:23:34.000 I sat there under house arrest.

01:23:35.000 I'd been under house arrest for two years, complaining about it.

01:23:38.000 The Romanian system was after me.

01:23:40.000 Then England was after me.

01:23:41.000 Apparently, I was going to have to go there.

01:23:43.000 Remember that?

01:23:43.000 Yeah, so none of that actually happened.

01:23:46.000 And now I'm fine.

01:23:48.000 And the comments are getting a lot more negative.

01:23:51.000 I feel like when they thought we were down on the internet, no, the internet's just, it's nothing to do with that.

01:23:56.000 Has the internet changed?

01:23:57.000 The internet's full of hate.

01:23:58.000 The internet's changed.

01:23:59.000 The internet is full of full of hate.

01:24:00.000 That was my question I was going to ask you.

01:24:02.000 The internet is full of hate.

01:24:03.000 Okay.

01:24:03.000 And the internet's full of hate, and we're gonna relaunch positivity.

01:24:07.000 That's what we're gonna do.

01:24:09.000 I, as a globally renowned music artist, have now decided to relaunch positivity across the world, right?

01:24:16.000 So, this is a poem I just wrote myself.

01:24:19.000 Okay, I definitely wrote this myself.

01:24:21.000 Okay, from Bucharest to Dubai's gold-tipped towers, from Miami heat to London's cold gray hours, from Lagos streets where hustle never sleeps, to silent farms where midnight silence keeps.

01:24:35.000 I see you all, every last one of you, grinding in the shadows, chasing what is true.

01:24:40.000 Some wear rogues, some chains, some three-piece suits, some count their wins in crypto, some in roots. 0.99

01:24:46.000 Wait, this is fucking ages. 0.99

01:24:47.000 Why did Chat GPT write this poem so fucking well? 0.99

01:24:50.000 I thought you wrote it. 0.96

01:24:50.000 When I wrote this poem, I didn't expect it to be so long. 0.96

01:24:53.000 The point is, I wish everyone the best.

01:24:57.000 That's the point.

01:24:59.000 And we are going to start a movement of positivity.

01:25:01.000 I'm going to dance and smile and sing, even at the people who don't like me. 1.00

01:25:06.000 I hope you die. 1.00

01:25:06.000 I hope you die in Dubai. 1.00

01:25:08.000 We're still rich. 1.00

01:25:08.000 We're dancing. 1.00

01:25:09.000 No, no, no.

01:25:09.000 Think about it.

01:25:11.000 I hope you die in Dubai. 1.00

01:25:12.000 I'm broken. 1.00

01:25:13.000 I'm mad. 1.00

01:25:13.000 I hope you die. 1.00

01:25:18.000 Anyway, I've looked it up. 0.98

01:25:19.000 It's statistically impossible for us to die because there's never been a confirmed death of somebody in a Pagani or a Bugatti from an Iranian drone.

01:25:27.000 An Iranian drone has never destroyed either one of them.

01:25:30.000 I asked Grok and I put it on Twitter.

01:25:31.000 So if we drive those cars around the streets of Dubai, we're bomb proof.

01:25:36.000 We're safe.

01:25:37.000 Iran has never destroyed one.

01:25:38.000 There's a 100% safety rate.

01:25:40.000 That's good to know.

01:25:41.000 It's good to know.

01:25:42.000 So if you drive the Pagani and I drive the Bugatti, we're literally bomb proof.

01:25:46.000 Yeah, it's never happened before.

01:25:47.000 And the odds of it happening are 0%.

01:25:49.000 0% chance.

01:25:50.000 00%.

01:25:51.000 That sounds good to me.

01:25:52.000 So no matter what happens in Dubai, we're good.

01:25:55.000 Okay, we are good.

01:25:56.000 You're right.

01:25:56.000 And we can dance at people.

01:25:57.000 You're right.

01:25:58.000 We can.

01:25:59.000 We can just dance at them, you know?

01:26:02.000 Just dance at them.

01:26:03.000 Let's read the super chats.

01:26:05.000 Okay, go on.

01:26:08.000 If one of the patterns is places being hit that don't have centralized banks and rich in resources, but their aim is to decentralize banking.

01:26:15.000 Listen, set up 5678.

01:26:17.000 I explained on yesterday's emergency meeting what I believe is really happening.

01:26:20.000 Now I believe Emirates is already starting flights again.

01:26:23.000 In a week, this will be forgotten.

01:26:25.000 This whole big war, all the negativity.

01:26:27.000 That's what's so important, guys.

01:26:29.000 All the negativity you're spreading, all the hate and ill wishes that you're going to be putting on the internet towards people who decide to live a different life than you.

01:26:37.000 In a week, this whole situation will be forgotten.

01:26:39.000 But the karma that you're going to get from being a negative person is going to stick to you. 0.94

01:26:43.000 So you're saying things that aren't going to matter in a week, but you're going to be stuck unlucky as fuck for the next year because you've been wishing death on people over something that's going to be largely forgotten. 0.95

01:26:53.000 Don't be that guy. 0.97

01:26:54.000 I can prove that because I know when this started, do you?

01:26:57.000 I know the first time I ever saw this, it just came into my mind.

01:27:02.000 The cataclysmic event that shifted the entire world we lived in.

01:27:07.000 You're not wearing a mask. 1.00

01:27:08.000 I hope you fucking die. 1.00

01:27:09.000 You don't have a vaccine. 1.00

01:27:10.000 I hope you fucking die. 1.00

01:27:12.000 That's when it started. 1.00

01:27:13.000 Now, to prove your point, have any of these people, the celebrities and the non-famous ones, the bots who we can't find out who they are because they like to be anon because they're nobodies, has any of these people gone from, you're not wearing your mask, you didn't take your vaccine, I hope you die, I hope you die, you don't deserve hospital treatment.

01:27:30.000 Have any of their lives got any better?

01:27:32.000 No, let me ask you a better question. 0.99

01:27:32.000 Or do all their lives suck? 0.99

01:27:34.000 Has anyone with the vaccine become a globally renowned music star across the world, including Kazakhstan?

01:27:40.000 Maybe, I don't know.

01:27:41.000 No, the answer is no.

01:27:42.000 Okay.

01:27:42.000 The people who believed in COVID don't have their songs sung in Kazakhstan.

01:27:47.000 I do.

01:27:48.000 Karma loves me because I always do the right thing.

01:27:51.000 Okay.

01:27:51.000 So we have to be positive, nice guys who do the right thing.

01:27:54.000 I want everybody at home to do the same.

01:27:56.000 So this emergency meeting, the primary objective of it, is to make everyone laugh and to make everyone happy.

01:28:02.000 So Tristan, tell us a joke.

01:28:07.000 A man walks up to a bar and asks the barman for a free drink.

01:28:13.000 The barman says, Well, what guy, what do I get in return?

01:28:15.000 And the man says, I'll show you something that you've never seen before.

01:28:18.000 The barman says, I've seen it all.

01:28:20.000 Go ahead, show me this thing I've never seen before.

01:28:22.000 And he pulls out a tiny piano from his pocket and he puts it on the bar.

01:28:26.000 Then he pulls out a little 12-inch man and stands him on the bar.

01:28:30.000 And the little 12-inch man sits down and he starts playing a jam on the piano.

01:28:34.000 Now, the barman obviously is super impressed and he says, Wow, that is something I haven't seen before.

01:28:39.000 Here's your free beer and pours him a free beer.

01:28:42.000 He goes, Where did you get that piano player and that little piano?

01:28:45.000 He says, Well, I wished for it from a genie.

01:28:47.000 He says, Well, that's a strange wish.

01:28:49.000 The man says, I have a better idea.

01:28:50.000 Why don't you give me another free beer and I'll let the genie grant you a wish?

01:28:55.000 And the man says, Well, okay then, if you really have a genie.

01:28:59.000 So a genie pops out this man's other pocket.

01:29:01.000 And the barman says, Wow.

01:29:03.000 Hello, genie.

01:29:04.000 I'm sick of working at a bar.

01:29:05.000 I want a million bucks.

01:29:07.000 And the genie says, No problem.

01:29:09.000 Poof.

01:29:10.000 And the bar is suddenly filled with a million ducks.

01:29:14.000 And the man behind the bar pouring the beer is very confused.

01:29:17.000 He looks at the man.

01:29:18.000 He goes, I think your genie has a hearing problem.

01:29:20.000 I didn't wish for ducks.

01:29:21.000 I wished for bucks.

01:29:22.000 The man picks up the 12-inch pianist and says, you think this is what I wished for?

01:29:31.000 That's not on my screen, by the way.

01:29:33.000 This is just a Tristan Tate instant classic joke.

01:29:37.000 I'm that weird uncle that knows all the jokes.

01:29:42.000 Rate my joke out of 10.

01:29:44.000 So, how can we make money from this catastrophe?

01:29:48.000 Well, didn't you say on an emergency meeting about buying oil futures because Iran and Israel was going to kick off about six months ago?

01:29:57.000 Look, we always make money.

01:30:00.000 The answer to the question at the beginning of this emergency meeting is: What were you doing in Kazakhstan?

01:30:04.000 What were you doing in Istanbul?

01:30:05.000 What were you doing in the Bahamas?

01:30:07.000 What were you doing in California?

01:30:08.000 We were making money because that's what me and you know how to do.

01:30:12.000 And that's what we want everyone who watches us to do also.

01:30:15.000 That's what we do.

01:30:16.000 We make money.

01:30:17.000 That is our job.

01:30:18.000 Moneymakers.

01:30:20.000 Got a super chat here.

01:30:21.000 We're going to talk about how to make money from this war, which I've already called publicly as not a real war in a UA in an unfair advantage to the students inside of our school in the coming days.

01:30:34.000 Mr. Tate, the world is full of hate because reality is collapsing from weightlessness, not society.

01:30:40.000 This is not a mindset problem.

01:30:42.000 It's a physics problem and requires a physics solution.

01:30:46.000 Now, that's an interesting comment.

01:30:47.000 I'm sure they mean something different than what I'm about to say, but I do actually agree about the weightlessness point.

01:30:54.000 Most people were tied down to a family and a geographical location, and now nobody has families, nobody has a job, nobody has a geographical location.

01:31:02.000 So everybody's just trying to do their very best floating through the world.

01:31:06.000 And they're very mad at the people who've decided to float in a different direction than them.

01:31:09.000 The reason Dubai gets so much hate is that people from Dubai and people who live in Dubai post constantly about how great it is and how happy they are.

01:31:17.000 And hate only travels up.

01:31:18.000 Nobody's pissing on Tehran or Tel Aviv for getting bombed.

01:31:22.000 They're pissing on Dubai because Dubai is a nice place.

01:31:24.000 This tells you a lot about the world. 0.97

01:31:26.000 That when it's a nice place and there's happy people who say that it's a good life here, people are praying for your death.

01:31:33.000 This is a fantastic lesson in haters in general.

01:31:37.000 People often say to me, Hey, Tate, you know, I got this guy who doesn't like me or I got haters or I got enemies.

01:31:41.000 If you don't have any enemies, you're not making any mark on the world.

01:31:45.000 If you are a happy person achieving things in life, people are going to hate you.

01:31:50.000 If nobody hates you, you've achieved nothing, you stand for nothing, and you are nothing.

01:31:55.000 The second you move to a nice place where you don't have the risk getting stabbed to death, you're going to get haters.

01:32:00.000 It is that simple.

01:32:01.000 And they're going to wish that you get stabbed to death somehow, as unlikely as it is.

01:32:05.000 So you have to really gauge your success by how many people who are praying for your downfall.

01:32:10.000 And the most beautiful thing about being successful is that you understand how much luck is involved in all things, how karma is completely real.

01:32:18.000 And when you're super successful and you're happy and you're going through life and you're nice to people, when you see people praying for your downfall, in the end, they are the ones who suffer from their own thoughts.

01:32:27.000 Praying for my downfall will not make me fall.

01:32:30.000 It will make the people who prayed for us to fall fall.

01:32:33.000 Well, people have been doing that for what, probably eight years now, certainly en masse in a large, in large groups, in their little forums, and their little private chats and their little Twitter cabals and their little Facebook groups.

01:32:44.000 They've been praying for our downfall for years and years and years.

01:32:48.000 Seven years of their life, they've dedicated and donated this energy towards me and you in the form of their physical calories being burned to type horrible things, massive threads, make videos about how the tanks are bad people and something that they're definitely going to end up in jail or dead or whatever these people say.

01:33:07.000 I'm fine.

01:33:08.000 In fact, I'm back here in my emergency meeting podcast studio by choice because I could be anywhere in the world I like.

01:33:14.000 Everything in my life is perfectly fine.

01:33:16.000 So you've been wasting your time.

01:33:19.000 And if you continue to do it, I promise you, you will waste more of your time until maybe the day that I die, the day that God decides to take me to heaven.

01:33:28.000 You'll be like, oh, Tristan Tate finally died.

01:33:30.000 While you're 90 years old, I'm 85. 0.99

01:33:34.000 And then you finally get your little bit of happiness having wasted 50 years of directing bullshit tweets at me. 0.98

01:33:41.000 That's why positivity wins. 0.98

01:33:42.000 Tristan, tell us a joke.

01:33:45.000 Ah, tell us another joke. 0.99

01:33:48.000 A black man and a black woman are in a car. 0.95

01:33:51.000 Who's driving? 0.67

01:33:52.000 No.

01:33:52.000 Who's driving?

01:33:53.000 No, Andrew, this is not positivity.

01:33:54.000 The police.

01:33:58.000 What's the most confusing day for a black kid?

01:34:01.000 Father's Day. 0.85

01:34:03.000 Tell us a joke.

01:34:04.000 Come on.

01:34:04.000 You don't mind mine.

01:34:05.000 Tell us a positive joke.

01:34:05.000 I'm out here making people laugh.

01:34:07.000 You're not fucking saying anything positive. 1.00

01:34:08.000 Go on, dickhead. 1.00

01:34:09.000 Come on, dip shit. 1.00

01:34:10.000 Be positive for the first time in your life, you fucking retard. 1.00

01:34:12.000 Come on. 1.00

01:34:13.000 An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman are all in an American pub complaining about how the pubs back home are much better.

01:34:20.000 The Scotsman says, ah, this pub is horrible.

01:34:23.000 Back in Glasgow, every time you buy the fourth pint, the landlord gives you the fifth on the house.

01:34:28.000 Englishman says, oh, that's nothing at all.

01:34:29.000 Back in London, where I'm from, every time I buy the second pint, the landlord gives you the third on the house.

01:34:35.000 And the Irishman says, ah, that's nothing at all, back.

01:34:37.000 In my hometown, you'll walk into the pub and the first drink's for free.

01:34:41.000 And then the second and the third and the fourth drink, they're for free also.

01:34:44.000 Then they'll give you the fifth and the sixth drink for free.

01:34:47.000 Then they'll take you upstairs and make sure you have a proper bit of fun, if you know what I'm saying.

01:34:52.000 And the Englishman and the Scotsman look at him in complete, complete, what's the word?

01:34:57.000 Disbelief.

01:34:58.000 Disbelief.

01:34:59.000 And the Englishman says, this can't have possibly have ever happened to you.

01:35:02.000 The Archman says, nah, but it's happened to me, sister, many times.

01:35:11.000 That's another one for you.

01:35:14.000 There's a reason no one likes you on the emergency meetings.

01:35:16.000 People love my jokes on the emergency meetings.

01:35:18.000 I might do an emergency meeting stand-up session.

01:35:19.000 Just tell my jokes.

01:35:20.000 Merzette $27, $100 super chat.

01:35:22.000 Thank you very much.

01:35:23.000 Mr. Tate, thank you for changing my life.

01:35:25.000 You're very welcome, sir.

01:35:25.000 That's all I want to say.

01:35:27.000 And guys.

01:35:28.000 You know how often we get that in person as well?

01:35:30.000 That's all we get.

01:35:31.000 That's all we get.

01:35:32.000 We have plot armor.

01:35:35.000 We have armor for the plot.

01:35:37.000 We should be in jail. 1.00

01:35:38.000 Every fucking government on the planet has tried. 1.00

01:35:40.000 We're alive. 1.00

01:35:41.000 We should be dead.

01:35:42.000 We're not dead. 1.00

01:35:43.000 Bombs should blow up our shit in Dubai. 1.00

01:35:45.000 Guess what? 1.00

01:35:46.000 All my buildings, all my investments, all my cars are untouched.

01:35:50.000 All the people I love are untouched.

01:35:52.000 I have plot armor.

01:35:54.000 The reason I have armor for the plot, the reason I am protected divinely, the reason that God loves me is because I help people with their motivation.

01:36:02.000 I change people's lives.

01:36:04.000 People don't like me because I hate on others.

01:36:05.000 People don't like me because I'm sitting there trying to drag other people down or hate on people who have less than me.

01:36:10.000 People like me because I say, guys, you can do it.

01:36:12.000 Life is hard.

01:36:13.000 It's supposed to be hard, but we can fight back.

01:36:15.000 We can resist.

01:36:16.000 I spread positivity.

01:36:18.000 People come up to me all around the world.

01:36:19.000 Andrew, your videos helped me so much when I was going through a breakup.

01:36:22.000 Andrew, I listened to your videos in the gym.

01:36:23.000 Andrew, you're such a hero to me and my kids.

01:36:26.000 I have parents coming up to me saying that their children now go to the gym and try hard in school because of me.

01:36:31.000 All this positive energy gives me divine protection.

01:36:34.000 And I promise all of you at home, you can achieve the same things.

01:36:37.000 You need to be massively positive.

01:36:40.000 The internet right now is filled with hate.

01:36:42.000 This is a serious task I'm giving you.

01:36:44.000 I know we're joking, we're messing around, but people at home, the entire internet is filled with hate.

01:36:49.000 There are people throwing hate in different directions depending what camp they're in.

01:36:52.000 This is our chance to break the mold.

01:36:54.000 You will see something fantastic happen to you in the next seven days if you stop being hateful, if you don't get dragged into bitterness, if you don't get dragged into negativity, and you simply wish everybody well.

01:37:04.000 That's all you have to do.

01:37:06.000 It's amazing how easy it is to win.

01:37:08.000 It's amazing how easy it is to be karmically rewarded by simply being a good person and wishing good for other people.

01:37:15.000 Because, what is it?

01:37:17.000 Rising tide lifts all ships.

01:37:19.000 A rising tide lifts all ships.

01:37:22.000 If the world becomes a better place, then your life becomes better.

01:37:25.000 Don't be so hateful and so bitter and so petty that you want the world to be bad just so others suffer.

01:37:31.000 No, we want the entire world to be utopian so that we can live in a utopia.

01:37:35.000 We want everybody to win.

01:37:36.000 I want everybody watching this to have lots of money.

01:37:38.000 I want you to all have lots of wives and beautiful kids and safety and prosperity.

01:37:42.000 I want you all to wake up excited for the day ahead.

01:37:44.000 I don't want any of you to be stressed or negative.

01:37:46.000 We can live in a big, beautiful world if we all spread love and positivity.

01:37:50.000 That's what we're here to do.

01:37:52.000 Everybody at home who is watching this, I want to see on the timeline positivity. 0.99

01:37:56.000 If you tag me in a tweet, I will follow you, which will blow up your account because I've got one of the largest accounts on Twitter because I'm the motherfucking man. 0.96

01:38:02.000 I will follow you if you are posting positivity. 0.98

01:38:05.000 Don't hate people in other places.

01:38:06.000 We don't have to hate anyone except for the blacks. 0.99

01:38:09.000 Martin Pixler here, real world student.

01:38:11.000 I just want to thank you both from the bottom of my heart.

01:38:13.000 Many blessings to you and your family.

01:38:15.000 You're truly an inspiration to us and all around the world.

01:38:18.000 Yeah, we have been the rising tide, not just the ship that's gone up.

01:38:22.000 So in the spirit of being the rise and tide, Andrew, tell us a joke.

01:38:29.000 What did the little boy...

01:38:30.000 No, no, no.

01:38:34.000 You didn't even hear my jokes?

01:38:35.000 I know your jokes.

01:38:36.000 You didn't even hear it.

01:38:37.000 I know it.

01:38:38.000 Tristan, we're trying to be positive.

01:38:40.000 Can you just wait and see if people laugh?

01:38:42.000 Go ahead.

01:38:45.000 Fine.

01:38:45.000 I'll change joke.

01:38:49.000 What do you call a packy with a job?

01:38:52.000 As if. 0.99

01:38:57.000 My jokes are fucking great. 0.99

01:38:59.000 Your jokes are not good. 0.99

01:39:00.000 What do we think about Singapore as a place to live? 1.00

01:39:02.000 I live with a fucking noodle-y in fucking Chinese motherfucker. 1.00

01:39:06.000 Listen, fucking, everything I said about moving to Japan, I take it back. 1.00

01:39:12.000 If you want to move to Singapore, hi, hi, I'm English. 0.99

01:39:15.000 I live in Singapore and I'm eating rice. 0.99

01:39:18.000 The fuck is rice? 1.00

01:39:20.000 I hope you get drone striped. 1.00

01:39:23.000 What do you call a Russian with COVID?

01:39:26.000 What?

01:39:26.000 Ivan Nasty Chestikov.

01:39:29.000 What do you call a dinosaur with glasses?

01:39:31.000 Do you think he saw us? 0.93

01:39:34.000 What do you call a lesbian dinosaur? 1.00

01:39:36.000 A licolotopus. 0.90

01:39:38.000 I've got a few of those.

01:39:38.000 Nice.

01:39:40.000 Nice.

01:39:42.000 Anyway, an Irishman walks into a bar and walks up to the bar and he orders three pints.

01:39:47.000 One, two, three.

01:39:48.000 He takes a sip of the first, a sip of the second, and a sip of the third.

01:39:52.000 All the way down, he drinks in this strange system and then he orders another three pints.

01:39:56.000 Sip of the first, sip of the second, sip of the third.

01:39:59.000 The barman walks over.

01:40:00.000 It's in London.

01:40:01.000 He says, excuse me, what do you think you're doing?

01:40:03.000 Why do you order pints in such a strange way and drink in such a strange way?

01:40:06.000 He goes, ah, well, I've got a brother who lives in New York and a brother who lives in Australia.

01:40:10.000 I can't be around to have pints with them.

01:40:11.000 So what I do is I order the three pints and I imagine I'm sitting here with my brothers.

01:40:16.000 So the English barman says, okay, well, that's a very noble thing.

01:40:19.000 I guess if it makes you feel better about your brothers, then no problem at all.

01:40:23.000 Enjoy.

01:40:23.000 Drink away.

01:40:24.000 And then one day the Irishman stops coming into the bar.

01:40:27.000 Doesn't show up for eight, nine, ten days in a row.

01:40:30.000 The English barman is, frankly, quite worried.

01:40:32.000 He walks in with this very sad look on his face.

01:40:34.000 He says, can I have two pints, please?

01:40:37.000 And he sits there, drinks the first, drinks the second, drinks the first, drinks the second.

01:40:41.000 He then orders another two.

01:40:43.000 Repeats the process.

01:40:44.000 The barman obviously understands what's happened and feels very bad.

01:40:47.000 He walks up to the man.

01:40:48.000 He goes, Patty, I can't help but notice you've only ordered two pints at a time today.

01:40:52.000 Has something happened to one of your brothers?

01:40:54.000 He says, nah, my brothers are fine, but I've quit drinking.

01:40:58.000 Poops.

01:41:02.000 Andrew and Tristan, what would you give, what advice would you give to yourselves in your 20s?

01:41:06.000 We are two brothers from London, quit our jobs and running our own brokerage. 1.00

01:41:10.000 Why the fuck are you in London? 1.00

01:41:11.000 London's a fucking shithole. 1.00

01:41:12.000 You should. 1.00

01:41:12.000 Move to Dubai. 1.00

01:41:13.000 Move to Dubai, you fuck. 1.00

01:41:14.000 You're going to get stabbed. 1.00

01:41:15.000 You're as bad as that rice-eating Singapore-loving motherfucker. 1.00

01:41:18.000 You, Mr. Singapore. 1.00

01:41:20.000 Hi, I'm in London.

01:41:21.000 And I wear a hat, bro. 1.00

01:41:25.000 You're a fucking faggot, bro. 1.00

01:41:26.000 You're a don't fucking super chat me. 1.00

01:41:28.000 I'll send you your fucking money back. 1.00

01:41:29.000 Give me your HSBC, your little brokey ass fucking bank. 1.00

01:41:33.000 HSBC. 1.00

01:41:33.000 Andrew. 1.00

01:41:34.000 Hi, I've gone to the ATM.

01:41:35.000 I've got 300 pound minute. 1.00

01:41:37.000 You fucking suck. 1.00

01:41:38.000 Okay. 1.00

01:41:38.000 You fucking suck. 1.00

01:41:40.000 Everything about you fucking sucks. 1.00

01:41:42.000 The entire chat hates you. 1.00

01:41:44.000 One in the chat, you hate this pussy bitch from fucking London. 1.00

01:41:47.000 And two in the chat, if you hate that rice-loving motherfucker. 1.00

01:41:50.000 What if I go to Singapore? 1.00

01:41:51.000 I'm scared of the drones. 1.00

01:41:53.000 You scared of a few fucking drones? 1.00

01:41:54.000 You call yourself a fucking man? 1.00

01:41:56.000 That's the place you should move. 1.00

01:41:57.000 If you're half a man, you look where the drones are falling, and that's where you fucking go, bro. 1.00

01:42:02.000 Real geese like me, we can't wait to get to the fucking drones. 1.00

01:42:05.000 We can't wait to fucking be there. 1.00

01:42:07.000 Catch them from the fucking sky. 1.00

01:42:08.000 Fucking drone Aikido. 1.00

01:42:14.000 You're crying your eyes out. 1.00

01:42:16.000 Maybe I need to go live with the Chinese people. 1.00

01:42:18.000 I fucking hate you. 1.00

01:42:20.000 I fucking hate you. 1.00

01:42:22.000 I hate both of you. 1.00

01:42:23.000 I fucking hate you both. 1.00

01:42:25.000 Okay. 1.00

01:42:28.000 Are we done?

01:42:29.000 Regarding luck-based success, the George Floyd Creepypastas book mentioned that George Floyd achieved media fame from mingling in the underground.

01:42:39.000 Logically, does that mean he has the tape mindset?

01:42:44.000 Of all the people.

01:42:45.000 I can breathe. 0.99

01:42:50.000 Stick that up your neck, George. 0.98

01:42:56.000 So no.

01:42:57.000 The tape mindset requires oxygen.

01:43:02.000 There's a joke.

01:43:03.000 And that's the one the BBC are going to print tomorrow.

01:43:08.000 For Tate Pledge, $100 Super Chat.

01:43:09.000 Thank you very much.

01:43:10.000 We'll join the War Room soon.

01:43:11.000 Wish you the best for you and your families.

01:43:13.000 You know the cool thing about the War Room?

01:43:15.000 I didn't know we had niggas in Kazakhstan.

01:43:17.000 I got there, and the War Room CEO messaged me.

01:43:21.000 These are the four dudes in Kazakhstan who are in the War Room and you should meet.

01:43:24.000 We had dinner with two of them.

01:43:26.000 Isn't that epic?

01:43:27.000 Kazakhstan.

01:43:28.000 In one city in Kazakhstan.

01:43:29.000 Istanbul, same.

01:43:30.000 Same in Istanbul.

01:43:32.000 Every country we land in, there's members of the war room who we go for dinner with.

01:43:35.000 There are real world students everywhere.

01:43:36.000 They come up and thank me and shake my hand, but there's war room guys everywhere.

01:43:40.000 Warroom's awesome.

01:43:42.000 So let's talk more about George Floyd.

01:43:44.000 Tell me the things you admire and loved about George Floyd.

01:43:48.000 The audacity to use fake banknotes.

01:43:52.000 Good for him.

01:43:53.000 Didn't work out well, though, did it?

01:43:54.000 No, it didn't.

01:43:55.000 But, you know.

01:43:56.000 Tell me why he's your hero.

01:43:58.000 Because it's the chancer in life who achieves global fame. 1.00

01:44:04.000 You know, you've started a movement.

01:44:05.000 You're a chanceler.

01:44:06.000 You've achieved global fame.

01:44:07.000 That's right.

01:44:08.000 George Floyd is a chancer, trying to pay with the fake 20.

01:44:13.000 Start a global movement.

01:44:14.000 That's true.

01:44:15.000 He's achieved more than most people ever will.

01:44:15.000 Globally famous.

01:44:17.000 Yeah.

01:44:18.000 I could show his picture to someone in China and they'd say, oh, nah, nah, not Kazakhstan.

01:44:21.000 I'm the only guy they know in Kazakhstan. 0.99

01:44:22.000 Freud so you know rest in peace up there at the at that fucking crack house in the sky You know? 0.99

01:44:45.000 You could use all the fake 20s up there that you like. 0.99

01:44:47.000 Heaven is just filled with fake 20s for George Floyd.

01:44:50.000 Exactly.

01:44:51.000 Fake 20s and crack.

01:44:55.000 What do you admire most about George Floyd?

01:45:04.000 It's been a fun time.

01:45:06.000 It has been a fun time.

01:45:07.000 And that's the secret to life, gentlemen.

01:45:09.000 You need to take everything absolutely seriously.

01:45:11.000 but laugh the entire way through.

01:45:13.000 That's your goal.

01:45:14.000 Make a bunch of money, spread positivity, join the real world, be positive, join the war room, be positive, try and make people laugh.

01:45:21.000 Try and be happy yourself.

01:45:23.000 And I promise you're going to have a fantastic life.

01:45:24.000 It doesn't matter where bombs fall.

01:45:25.000 You get plot armor when you're nice enough.

01:45:27.000 Drones can't fall on me.

01:45:29.000 That's why I refuse to leave.

01:45:30.000 I'm not going to go eat rice.

01:45:31.000 I'm going to stay where the drones are.

01:45:33.000 They're going to bounce off of me. 0.99

01:45:34.000 I'm that nigger. 0.98

01:45:35.000 I'm that guy. 0.97

01:45:37.000 Just be happy and be nice.

01:45:39.000 Tune in for more of Tristan's fantastic jokes.

01:45:41.000 Tell us our last one.

01:45:43.000 Our last joke of the evening.

01:45:44.000 Go on.

01:45:44.000 Go on, Tristan.

01:45:45.000 Fucking knock it out of the park. 0.99

01:45:46.000 Every other joke's been fucking great. 1.00

01:45:53.000 An Irishman dies and he gets to the gates of heaven. 1.00

01:45:59.000 And St. Peter says, well, actually, this isn't the gates of heaven.

01:46:04.000 There's a staircase to heaven.

01:46:07.000 And every fifth step you go up, God's going to tell you a joke.

01:46:11.000 And if you laugh, you get flushed straight to hell.

01:46:14.000 It's a test of discipline.

01:46:16.000 And there was three men staying there, an Irishman, a Scotsman, and an Englishman.

01:46:19.000 Scotsman says, okay, I'll go first.

01:46:21.000 On the fifth step, the joke God tells, because God has jokes like mine, is so funny that St. Peter pulls the lever, flushes the Scotsman straight to hell when he started laughing.

01:46:31.000 The Englishman says, okay, I'll go next.

01:46:33.000 Makes it up the fifth step, 10th, 15th, 20th, 25th, all the way to the 45th step, where he can no longer contain his laughter.

01:46:40.000 And St. Peter says, sorry to the Englishman, pulls the lever.

01:46:43.000 The staircase goes flat and he gets flushed straight to hell.

01:46:45.000 The Irishman says, ah, not a problem.

01:46:48.000 I'll go now.

01:46:49.000 First step, fifth step, 10th step, 40th step, 50th step.

01:46:53.000 He gets all the way to step 97.

01:46:56.000 Bursts out laughing for no reason.

01:46:58.000 St. Peter is very confused. 0.99

01:46:59.000 He says, well, I'm going to have to flush you straight to hell now. 0.94

01:47:03.000 But you're not even on a step that tells a joke. 0.93

01:47:07.000 And you're not even at the last joke yet.

01:47:09.000 Why did you laugh?

01:47:10.000 The Irishman says, ah, I just got the first one.

01:47:26.000 Got all that boat producer.

01:47:31.000 Gonna bring the feeling good producer to the emergency BT.

Tate Speech - March 02, 2026

EMERGENCY MEETING EPISODE 123 - DANGER!! DANGER!!

Episode Stats

Summary

Transcript