Tate Speech


GOLDEN LAMBO PANDEMIC | Tate Confidential Ep. 36


Summary

This is the final episode of the first season of the Tardis Podcast. This is the last episode of season 1 and it's a bit of a mess, but that's what happens when you're in the middle of nowhere and you don't have a Lamborghini or a car to drive around in. You're stuck in a car with no colour change and no idea what to do with it so you decide to do the only thing that comes naturally to you. You run out of money and all you want to do is buy a new car but you can't afford it, so you buy a golden one that looks like it's made of gold and you paint it all the same colour as the one you have now. The problem is, it's not really a golden colour. It's a golden rainbow colour that can only be painted on Lamborghinis and it looks like you can only paint it like that if you put a rainbow on it. You can't put it on any other colour, can you? So you just paint it the colour you want, and you'll look like you're painting it the way you like you like it? Enjoy the ride! xoxo, Luke xo xoxoxo XOXOXOXO Xoxo XOXO XoxO XXOXO xoxO xOXO - Luke xoxOXO, Luke Luke xO xO xOxO, XO, Jake xOXO, Jacob xO, xOJXO XOJoby xOOJaxo, XOXJoby, XJX, Jake, Xojay, xJobyx, , XJobyXO , , xJodyx, xJAYO, etc, X, xojayO, etc, etc. , etc. etc. , etc etc. XO. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast! I hope you enjoy the podcast. xo, xo xo Xo, XXO xo , Xojao, Xao, I'm here to die, Xo , xojao Love ya, XOXODO, YO, Thank you for listening and supporting the podcast, XODO - P.S. xo - XO Love you guys, -


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Good shot there from Tate!
00:00:02.000 A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
00:00:20.000 But I'm not a girl.
00:00:22.000 I'm a girl.
00:00:38.000 Bear with me...
00:00:54.000 You're welcome.
00:00:57.000 Wake the neighbors up.
00:01:01.000 Because I kept buying new cars I decided to change the color of every car.
00:01:08.000 I've decided if I change the color of all the cars, I'll pretend they're new ones.
00:01:11.000 If you're done. Or I could buy a new one.
00:01:14.000 I mean, the new Porsche 992 Turbo is for now.
00:01:16.000 You know this is a driveway space. You could buy a new house.
00:01:19.000 We could buy the dangerous house so we could fit the cars in there.
00:01:23.000 I wouldn't buy it. We come in a new limbo.
00:01:27.000 We've got a new color. It's no surprise you.
00:01:31.000 We all got something new color on our Lamborghini.
00:01:38.000 Fucking chicken wings, I understand.
00:01:41.000 But, we're going.
00:01:43.000 Where are you taking me?
00:01:48.000 I'm gonna go.
00:01:49.000 Luke, I decided to quit while I'm ahead.
00:01:56.000 That's the smartest thing you can do.
00:01:58.000 You go to the casino or you're gambling, whatever, what do they always say?
00:02:01.000 Quit while you're ahead. Okay.
00:02:03.000 I'm tall. I'm strong. I'm smart.
00:02:04.000 I'm unlimited women. I've got loads of money.
00:02:06.000 Nothing is wrong in my life.
00:02:08.000 I'm in perfect physical condition.
00:02:09.000 Even coronavirus has engulfed me.
00:02:10.000 Everything is going exactly the way it's supposed to.
00:02:13.000 I'm at the absolute peak of my existence.
00:02:15.000 And I'm richer than I've ever been.
00:02:17.000 Yes. So I've decided the smartest thing I can do is quit while I'm ahead and kill myself.
00:02:20.000 That's not the move. And I'm going to kill myself.
00:02:23.000 I don't want you fucking living in my house, making a mess, so I have to kill us both.
00:02:30.000 So that's why I'm here. I'm here to die.
00:02:32.000 There's no Lambo. There's no color change.
00:02:35.000 I've decided to kill us both.
00:02:36.000 This is actually the middle of nowhere.
00:02:39.000 Where are we? We're here to die.
00:02:42.000 The final episode. Take off this.
00:02:45.000 The final episode, everybody.
00:02:47.000 Hope you enjoyed the ride.
00:02:49.000 I'm here.
00:02:56.000 Hey man.
00:03:04.000 How are you guys?
00:03:06.000 Hi.
00:03:08.000 Hello.
00:03:10.000 Is it crazy enough you think?
00:03:13.000 Is it flashy enough?
00:03:15.000 You think I'll get enough attention or people will...
00:03:18.000 It's crazy.
00:03:20.000 So we put gold all on it.
00:03:29.000 Yeah, I like it.
00:03:31.000 In the sunshine it's going to look really green.
00:03:38.000 And also with the rainbow.
00:03:42.000 It's one of those paint jobs you can only do on Labrardini.
00:03:46.000 You couldn't put it on any other card.
00:03:47.000 Exactly. If I would see this combination between this rainbow and the chrome gold on any other card, I would say no, that won't work.
00:03:56.000 With Labrardini it works.
00:03:57.000 I was a bit sick of it before this.
00:03:59.000 I told you, I don't know if it would look cool, but it's bloody thing.
00:04:03.000 Yeah, that's true. I'm very happy.
00:04:05.000 Broke boys are going to be very angry.
00:04:06.000 They are going to be very angry.
00:04:09.000 They will be super angry.
00:04:13.000 I don't know if the broke boys are ready.
00:04:17.000 I don't think they are ready. I don't think anyone's ready.
00:04:22.000 It's a golden Lamborghini.
00:04:24.000 Golden Rainbow Lamborghini Nobody like us!
00:04:34.000 We don't care.
00:04:39.000 Red Bull and vodka.
00:04:44.000 Let's do it.
00:04:47.000 Nobody like us.
00:04:54.000 We don't care. We don't care.
00:04:58.000 We don't care! We don't care! King Towers II!
00:05:08.000 King Thomas II!
00:05:10.000 He's the hero of the day.
00:05:19.000 He is. So the king returns.
00:05:22.000 So basically, it's not on video, but I said to Tristan, I once heard the tale of a king who brought a girl from another town.
00:05:29.000 She flew. She got a plane to come here.
00:05:31.000 He flew in and he banged her in time.
00:05:32.000 He could still go out to the club with his friends within like two hours.
00:05:35.000 And he just came out of the room saying, I wonder...
00:05:39.000 He's a G. He is a G. Peep Show is the best show in the world.
00:05:52.000 People don't even know about Peep Show now.
00:05:53.000 They don't. They don't know about Peep Show.
00:05:56.000 Come on, let me get you a drink.
00:05:58.000 I'll explain it all over again.
00:06:00.000 He needs to come around on his table.
00:06:03.000 Nobody like us.
00:06:05.000 We don't care. We don't care.
00:06:08.000 Everybody's brighter, baby.
00:06:10.000 Welcome to the TARDIS, brother!
00:06:12.000 Come on!
00:06:14.000 Let's go!
00:06:28.000 I guess I'd better move, that's how the sky will move I gotta pull my teeth, when you go you wonder what my teeth look like If I don't give, then what?
00:06:40.000 If I don't come, then who?
00:06:42.000 All you ever do is disappear I'm gonna stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay, stay I'll be with you C'mon let's sing it together Oh, my God.
00:06:54.000 Here we go again!
00:06:56.000 Here we go again!
00:06:58.000 I'm gonna take my...
00:07:00.000 I'm gonna take my...
00:07:02.000 For the last hour, me, Andrew, and Rory have been sitting around playing the most depressing songs we can think of, talking about killing ourselves, while drinking Moet & Chandon champagne.
00:07:17.000 That's how we speak. Have you ever played a video game where your character has all the money and you've completed all the levels and it's all easy now so you just jump off cliffs?
00:08:05.000 It's like competing Grand Theft Auto, unlocking everything, doing all the missions.
00:08:10.000 There's nothing left. You may as well click a game.
00:08:11.000 You may as well play it now.
00:08:13.000 When I was 21, I had a TV advertising company.
00:08:25.000 And I thought I knew about business, but I didn't.
00:08:28.000 And I had a whole room full of staff.
00:08:30.000 Every Friday I had to find like $5,000 to tell the staff.
00:08:33.000 Every Friday. And I managed to pull it off for a few months, me and whatever, until one Thursday afternoon with $300 in the bank and wages due at 9am the next day.
00:08:44.000 No clients to call.
00:08:46.000 I just sat and played this song.
00:08:49.000 That was my plan.
00:08:50.000 And here I am 15 years later, multimillionaire, depressed exactly the same.
00:08:56.000 Why are printers... look at all the little introverts... it's printing, bro.
00:09:15.000 Why is it complicated? Supply is low.
00:09:17.000 It doesn't tell me which supply is low.
00:09:19.000 It won't print. It won't explain why.
00:09:21.000 I don't need this shit in my life.
00:09:24.000 It won't go back in.
00:09:28.000 So printers are shared.
00:09:30.000 Here's my new fucking printer.
00:09:35.000 Fuck printers. Fuck printers.
00:09:41.000 I'll punch someone in the face. I'm happy.
00:09:59.000 I no longer have to worry about changing the tone when I'm written.
00:10:02.000 Yeah, never again.
00:10:03.000 Problem solved. You send me upstairs to get a necklace taken.
00:10:07.000 I'll come back downstairs and you keep the fuck out of the printer.
00:10:11.000 It annoyed me. So now?
00:10:14.000 Now we don't have a printer.
00:10:16.000 So how do we print things?
00:10:18.000 We told Georgiana to go buy one!
00:10:20.000 Alright. Let's go buy a new printer.
00:10:22.000 We just buy new printers.
00:10:23.000 Every time it cuts out. Every time it catches you, you smash it against.
00:10:27.000 It makes sense. It does!
00:10:29.000 This makes sense. If you have a problem with a man, you can't keep him in the face.
00:10:34.000 Is it safe for you to have a print?
00:10:36.000 I'm not taking shit from a piece of plastic.
00:10:38.000 It's true. Fuck you.
00:10:40.000 Now you wouldn't been forever It might be What's that
00:11:08.000 and order so much Taco Bell.
00:11:11.000 I have a dinner to eat in two hours.
00:11:16.000 So? I'm going to cry.
00:11:18.000 I'm going to not eat. That's in two hours.
00:11:21.000 I say go to Taco Bell and eat more tacos than anyone has ever eaten.
00:11:26.000 I'm going to say, hello, excuse me Taco Bell.
00:11:29.000 What's the most tacos anyone's ever ordered at this restaurant?
00:11:32.000 I don't feel like 20, maybe 40.
00:11:35.000 The remaining Taco Bell is my power.
00:11:37.000 It doesn't. It has zero. I will KFC my face.
00:11:41.000 KFC? The next episode I'll have my face.
00:11:44.000 I think zinger twisters are a good way of measuring...
00:11:49.000 What's a zinger twister?
00:11:50.000 It's a twister. Does Luke know anything?
00:11:53.000 Luke is the ultimate baby.
00:11:56.000 He's been living in a fucking...
00:11:57.000 Well, he doesn't. He's only six months old.
00:11:59.000 He didn't know who Raven is in fucking...
00:12:05.000 You guys are just old.
00:12:12.000 I'll show you what we'll do when KFC come out.
00:12:14.000 Are we going to KFC?
00:12:15.000 Let's go!
00:12:16.000 Alright.
00:12:17.000 We're gonna see if we can't edit.
00:12:21.000 Pizza Hut is pizza- now that Luke said it, we have to do it.
00:12:25.000 Well, he's not the boss of us, and we do buy the food.
00:12:29.000 So, technically...
00:12:31.000 If you get pepperoni pizza and you put loads of salt on it...
00:12:33.000 The thing is, and pepperoni...
00:12:36.000 Sorry, Pizza Hut pizza from Pizza Hut.
00:12:38.000 Eating there is very different from Pizza Hut pizza from ordering it.
00:12:42.000 Do you know? Is it?
00:12:44.000 Luke doesn't know. Luke doesn't know.
00:12:45.000 The crispy base. You're a piece of shit, Luke.
00:12:49.000 I don't know how to reply to that.
00:13:00.000 Last year, when we were complete degenerate morons, we went boozing all the time.
00:13:07.000 It didn't make as much money. And this year we said we're really going to behave.
00:13:10.000 And since we've done that, we've literally increased our income five years.
00:13:14.000 We're rich again. So we need to go back to the start.
00:13:18.000 Back to our roots. So what do you say for this one week you become completely degenerate?
00:13:26.000 It's Monday. We go out tonight.
00:13:29.000 Monday, Freddo.
00:13:30.000 We found Old City. Tuesday, Control Club.
00:13:32.000 Wednesday, Brasserie. Thursday, Princess.
00:13:34.000 Friday, Face Club.
00:13:36.000 Saturday, Boa. Every night we go out.
00:13:42.000 Every night we have to drink.
00:13:45.000 We bring these two wankers to us.
00:13:46.000 And we destroy our lives for entirely.
00:13:49.000 We wake up on Sunday and vow to never do that ever again.
00:13:53.000 I have a feeling you'll quit on me.
00:13:55.000 I have a feeling you'll quit on me.
00:13:57.000 We both know, everyone at this table knows, that I could do that for six months straight.
00:14:01.000 No problem. This isn't a challenge.
00:14:03.000 This isn't something new. Call the waiter.
00:14:06.000 Right now. No, no.
00:14:07.000 You want to start? I'm not saying we have to call the waiter.
00:14:10.000 I'm not saying we have to call the waiter. I'm not saying we have to call the waiter. I'm not saying we have to call the waiter. I'm not saying we have to call the waiter.
00:14:12.000 I'm not saying we have to call the waiter. Let's go out each night for a cocktail.
00:14:15.000 What are we winning? I still want to do it.
00:14:20.000 I don't want to do the drink now, it's 7.30.
00:14:22.000 So? Yeah, it's too late.
00:14:24.000 But, I think we should do it later.
00:14:29.000 I don't think you're mad enough to do things you're saying.
00:14:31.000 Let's find out. Tonight we'll start.
00:14:33.000 Luke isn't mad enough.
00:14:34.000 Luke's definitely not mad enough, but I'll do it with Fredo.
00:14:37.000 Well, I'm dragging Luke.
00:14:39.000 Let's do it. Well,
00:15:22.000 I'm too fly for Corona.
00:15:25.000 I'm thinking...
00:15:27.000 While this whole disease thing's going on, you're a tactic of five cans of ham and hiding your house.
00:15:35.000 What I'm going to do is I'm going to dress fresh, hit the streets when all the other players are at home.
00:15:40.000 Get me some bitches! This is a $40,000 watch.
00:15:44.000 You think a disease is just going to walk up on...
00:15:47.000 I'm too fly. I'm too fresh.
00:15:50.000 I'm too clean.
00:15:52.000 What do they say? What do they say to protect yourself from trauma?
00:15:55.000 What do they say to do? Wash your hands.