Ho Ho Huracan | Tate Confidential Ep 267
Episode Stats
Words per Minute
132.85966
Summary
Tristan and Kristen finally get out of the house for the first time in months and go to pick up a lighter, cigars and coffee at the local DuPont's. Unfortunately, they don't have any of the stuff they need.
Transcript
00:00:00.000
*music* Tristan, we are finally out of the house, sir.
00:00:17.000
We have been locked up in that house for months, and I'll be honest with you, this kind of feels weird.
00:00:24.000
Well, something's better than nothing, I suppose.
00:00:26.000
Yeah, I'm going to go pick up my new lighter, pick up some cigars, and then I'm going to go straight home.
00:00:31.000
We don't even go out anymore to flex the lighters.
00:00:35.000
I'm going to keep it in my bedroom next to my bed.
00:00:37.000
Okay, it must be special because you don't even do that with the casino lighter.
00:00:47.000
It's a device that makes fire that you use to light cigarettes and cigars.
00:01:07.000
Kristen, do you remember how it feels to walk outside of the house?
00:01:12.000
I don't know if I can make it on the outside, baby.
00:01:53.000
So you came in to buy cigars, and someone already bought you cigars?
00:01:58.000
Well, I'll buy another box as well while I'm here, and then my new lighter's here as well.
00:02:06.000
So, Tristan, I have something good for you, some new...
00:02:26.000
Magnum 54s or Connoisseurs, anything like that.
00:02:53.000
Could I please have this as well while we're at it?
00:02:59.000
Leave the house and all of a sudden you're in a money-spending mood.
00:03:07.000
I only paid the deposit of four million dollars.
00:04:40.000
just shut up baby Wow Alright, I understand now.
00:05:05.000
I think about 17,000 euros, something like this.
00:05:12.000
I remember, he told me when I ordered it, but now it's 20,000 euros.
00:05:25.000
I would join you, but I don't consume caffeine past 1 p.m.
00:05:37.000
When I see something sick, I will give credit where credit is due.
00:05:44.000
Oh, I mean, that's the one you're going to get, of course.
00:05:46.000
Emperor Napoleon with his royal crest on it, his face on one side, and a solid bronze display stand.
00:06:08.000
July in the summer on my yacht will be the most wonderful time of the year.
00:06:18.000
Tristan, I can already tell that you're getting into the Christmas spirit.
00:06:27.000
You just seem like you're getting into the Christmas spirit.
00:06:33.000
Roasting marshmallows, caroling out in the snow.
00:06:43.000
When we eat dinner together every night anyway.
00:06:49.000
I'm just going to have to crash your Christmas party.
00:06:52.000
I need to make you a stalking for Christmas this year.
00:06:57.000
It's Christmas, T. I have no interest in Christmas.
00:07:05.000
If anyone is the human form of the Grinch, it's you.
00:07:14.000
You know, I should have smelled a setup when you started asking me about Christmas.
00:08:03.000
First, you have to admit that I made the house look very Christmassy.
00:08:08.000
Tristan, it would be truly asinine for me to decorate the entire entirety of our house.
00:08:41.000
You know where they are next to Christmas decorations?
00:09:18.000
I'll make sure you have a cigarette at some point.
00:09:24.000
- All right, guys, we're going back out. - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas. we're going back out. - Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.
00:09:59.000
Did you buy that Lambo Outsider or was that a guest?
00:10:43.000
For the decoration of the house, I want a green car.
00:10:45.000
Because we had the red Lada last year, so now I've got a green car.
00:11:55.000
Merry Christmas to me. - Is it a coincidence that the police showed up right after you got a new Lambo?
00:12:34.000
change Happy birthday to you You're not singing to make me happy.
00:13:15.000
It's like in two minutes, so I can't play the trumpet again.
00:13:19.000
Well, I ordered a yacht for his birthday that I certainly won't be using for myself.
00:14:18.000
Which, of course, only the English people know is the best show I've ever made.
00:14:47.000
Do you remember what I got you last year for your birthday?
00:14:52.000
I got you the same thing this year that I got you last year.
00:15:48.000
He's an old man Their souls have been fucked out so there's no one there's no We're gonna start that again Happy birthday to you.
00:16:33.000
No, I'm singing for your pure joy and happiness, actually.
00:17:09.000
Tonight, on Andrew's birthday, I'm gonna be unbeatable.
00:17:13.000
I'll be the luckiest man at the table and you won't be able to stop me.
00:18:06.000
Would you ever complain at me in front of my friends on my birthday?
00:18:37.000
- I'll just sign a blank check for Mayhem. - Thanks for the birthday dinner, Marcel.
00:18:56.000
This is actually fucking better than that crap.
00:19:11.000
Oysters are actually objectively good, regardless of the price.
00:19:16.000
But the more expensive the oyster is, the better.
00:19:31.000
What's been the best part of your birthday so far?
00:19:39.000
It's my third ever day without training this entire year.
00:19:51.000
So guilty that the days after my days off, I trained double.
00:20:04.000
I'm having a day off, then tomorrow I'll lift 30,000 kilos.
00:20:11.000
Might get Manu here again and punch him in the face.
00:20:13.000
My poker technique is going to defeat all of you tonight.
00:20:25.000
And when you see my new style of play, you're going to say, fuck.
00:20:37.000
But then no one will go in when you're winning.
00:20:43.000
You don't know what technique I'm going to utilize tonight.
00:20:52.000
When you see it, you're going to be like, fuck!
00:21:01.000
Alright, here's the rules for the rest of my birthday.
00:21:03.000
It should have been a rule from the beginning, but all you faggots were obviously scared.
00:21:16.000
If you're brave enough to smoke 75 cigarettes from now to bed, you deserve it.
00:21:47.000
The problem is, when he dresses like that, his stat keeps doubling and doubling.
00:22:36.000
I'm not Irish enough because I've been drinking.
00:22:40.000
So if they drink at your pace, by 11, everyone's going to be slumping, not playing.
00:22:54.000
But if I check the clock at 10.45 and everyone's like...
00:23:13.000
You're lucky I don't drink, because the amount of drunken sparring would be hilarious.
00:23:21.000
Drunken sparring would be good, because I can't control the power of my shots.
00:23:24.000
I'd still land them, but I can't pull them and make sure they don't do too much damage, so they'd just be straight busted eyes and shit.
00:23:31.000
If I was drinking, it'd be drunken master, and I'd be dumping around saying I'm the drunken master.
00:24:08.000
Because I have a flush, but you got a higher one.
00:24:58.000
So I'm winning this one, I'm winning the next one, and I got it.
00:25:02.000
Andrew's going to be surprised how many yellows he loses this round.
00:25:07.000
Andrew, I got the luck of the Irish on me side.
00:25:12.000
Father, why are you so sad upon this Easter morn?
00:25:18.000
When Irishmen are proud and glad of the land that they were born?
00:25:38.000
- Yeah. - I'm toast. - Straight. - Straight with a seven. - Shit, I got triple eights. - Lucky funders, five, six, seven, eight, nine. - Bro, green niggers always lose to black niggers.
00:26:21.000
I know you're thinking it's not Christmas yet, but it will be soon.
00:26:28.000
So time disappears quickly and before you know it, it will be Christmas Day.
00:26:32.000
And I know you're wondering, what will you open on Christmas Day that will make you happy?
00:26:38.000
And it's for that reason, TopeG.com is going to have a fantastic brand new push of products this December.
00:26:44.000
Need to order them now to get them on Christmas Day.
00:26:46.000
We have Fireblood, which I've previously explained has all the vitamins and minerals you need to stop being a pussy.
00:26:51.000
We have boxing gloves, we have the comic books, all perfect for your nephews, your younger brothers.
00:26:56.000
We have the t-shirts, built different for the kind of people who buy yachts while under house arrest.
00:27:00.000
But I thought, because I am Top G, and the G stands for generous, and I want you to be able to buy every single person you know a gift from TopG.com, what do you buy for all the people who pretend they don't like me?
00:27:11.000
That's right, because everybody actually likes me.
00:27:17.000
So for this reason, I've created the I Love Andrew Tate Fan Club.
00:27:21.000
If you go to topg.com, you can buy this brand new design of t-shirt.
00:27:25.000
You know your auntie who says you shouldn't listen to me?
00:27:29.000
Or your ex-girlfriend, who said you became too misogynistic after listening to my videos.
00:27:33.000
She started crying her eyes out saying you wouldn't let her have sex with other men anymore.
00:27:41.000
She pretends she doesn't, but these women get naked at night and watch my videos and touch themselves.
00:27:49.000
And as an extra bonus, as an added bonus cause the G stands for generous, any time you buy one of these t-shirts from topg.com, there's gonna be a box.
00:27:59.000
And any email address you put in there will be subscribed to the brand new I Love Andrew Tate Fan Club.
00:28:05.000
And I'm going to write a brand new misogynistic email that I send every single day.
00:28:09.000
So not only does your aunt get this t-shirt, she also gets misogynistic emails directly from me.
00:28:14.000
The I Love Andrew Tate Fan Club, for all the people who pretend to not like me, and all the people who admit they do like me, can buy built different t-shirts, all available at topg.com.