Tate Speech - June 13, 2025


Intercontinental Super Smash Beatdown | Tate Confidential Ep 303


Episode Stats

Length

14 minutes

Words per Minute

144.07018

Word Count

2,053

Sentence Count

297

Misogynist Sentences

22

Hate Speech Sentences

12


Summary

Tristan and Andrew take on each other for the Intercontinental Championship in a match that will determine the next Smash Bros Ultimate Champion. Will they win or will they lose? We'll find out in this episode of Smash Bros Live!


Transcript

00:00:00.000 There's no way you beat me a Smash Bros.
00:00:01.000 All the characters are in Romania.
00:00:03.000 Pack a bag.
00:00:03.000 Nigger.
00:00:04.000 We can just go buy a Switch.
00:00:05.000 200 grand there, 200 grand back.
00:00:07.000 That's 400 G. What is going on?
00:00:11.000 This is a championship back.
00:00:12.000 No!
00:00:14.000 No!
00:00:15.000 How do you spill tea?
00:00:20.000 If I didn't record this, people just wouldn't believe me.
00:00:22.000 Nobody knows but us how we roll, how we roll.
00:00:29.000 I'm going to block you off.
00:00:31.000 You guys think you can beat me?
00:00:32.000 There's no way I lose.
00:00:33.000 No, but you think you can beat me?
00:00:34.000 There's no way I lose.
00:00:36.000 I've never lost a game.
00:00:37.000 This is going to be a transatlantic beatdown.
00:00:40.000 We didn't even fly across the Atlantic.
00:00:42.000 That's how bad this is.
00:00:43.000 A continentally spanning beatdown.
00:00:45.000 I didn't fly here for no reason.
00:00:46.000 What are you going to say when I win?
00:00:48.000 All of our fucks.
00:00:51.000 All of our fucks.
00:00:53.000 All of our fucks, bro.
00:00:55.000 He's for the Intercontinental Championship.
00:00:57.000 This is Intercontinental.
00:01:00.000 This is the Intercontinental Championship.
00:01:02.000 It's true.
00:01:03.000 And guys, after I win, if you ever want a rematch, we can get a new jet.
00:01:06.000 We can fly back anytime.
00:01:09.000 Anytime!
00:01:10.000 I don't live in fear.
00:01:11.000 What's the difference between me and you?
00:01:13.000 You suck.
00:01:14.000 5% seriously?
00:01:19.000 What?
00:01:27.000 Fucking cheap, right?
00:01:30.000 Fucking bitch.
00:01:34.000 Fucking...
00:01:35.000 Fuck this game.
00:01:37.000 Fuck off.
00:01:40.000 Wow!
00:01:41.000 You're cheap.
00:01:42.000 Oscar should blow.
00:01:43.000 No.
00:01:46.000 You suck.
00:01:48.000 And the Intercontinental Champion of SSB is me!
00:01:56.000 The award-winning, title-holding, Intercontinental Champion.
00:02:02.000 We flew here, you ran your mouth, there's nothing wrong with your controllers.
00:02:09.000 And the champion.
00:02:09.000 If you're the champ, what are you scared of?
00:02:10.000 What are you scared of?
00:02:11.000 What are you scared of?
00:02:12.000 Retirement.
00:02:13.000 What are you scared of?
00:02:17.000 That was the warm-up.
00:02:18.000 Warm-ups don't count.
00:02:19.000 Exactly.
00:02:19.000 That was the warm-up team.
00:02:20.000 Tristan, that was warm-up.
00:02:21.000 You can't be the Intercontinental Champion when it's just a warm-up match.
00:02:24.000 I wish you can because they'll say the controllers aren't working every time I win until Andrew wins and he'll say never lost a game.
00:02:30.000 So when I win, I win.
00:02:32.000 You're a shadow of your former self.
00:02:34.000 I am currently the Intercontinental Champion.
00:02:36.000 And you're scared to put it all on the line.
00:02:38.000 If I win, Andrew will save the controller.
00:02:39.000 You are a shadow of your former self.
00:02:42.000 Your former glory has faded to nothing.
00:02:45.000 I don't remember you ever being a champion of SSP ever.
00:02:47.000 You've never been a contender.
00:02:48.000 You would be the best if you got out there and defended your title right here, right now.
00:02:52.000 But you're not.
00:02:53.000 You're scared!
00:02:54.000 Tristan's scared.
00:02:54.000 Can't do it.
00:02:55.000 Yeah, Tristan didn't win shit.
00:02:57.000 He didn't win.
00:02:58.000 He was scared to put it all on the line.
00:02:59.000 If he did, in fact, win.
00:03:01.000 Yeah, but there's something about the controllers, and he knows that.
00:03:03.000 He knows that.
00:03:04.000 Frame rate was off.
00:03:05.000 Frame rate.
00:03:06.000 I hate it when that happens.
00:03:08.000 Yeah, exactly.
00:03:09.000 Happens sometimes.
00:03:10.000 If he was a real champ, he would have run it back.
00:03:12.000 He ain't a champ of shit.
00:03:13.000 Oh, there he is.
00:03:14.000 If he was a real champ, he would have run it back to him.
00:03:16.000 Oh, there he is.
00:03:18.000 With the fucked up frame rate on the screen.
00:03:21.000 The screen wasn't right.
00:03:22.000 Something's on the screen.
00:03:23.000 Taking all your niggers to fucking Are you out?
00:03:28.000 Again?
00:03:29.000 Bro, you suck.
00:03:30.000 Marcel, you're a loser.
00:03:31.000 Marcel, you suck.
00:03:32.000 You're almost as bad as Tristan needs to cheat with the frame rate.
00:03:34.000 You're almost as bad as T. I think T's the worst player.
00:03:36.000 Marcel's the second worst.
00:03:37.000 Low standard of play.
00:03:39.000 It's embarrassing to ever share the stage with you guys.
00:03:42.000 You're not the champ.
00:03:43.000 You're not the champ team.
00:03:44.000 I have won almost all the games.
00:03:45.000 You didn't put it on the line.
00:03:46.000 You played with it.
00:03:47.000 The frame rate was messed up.
00:03:48.000 And if I had won, you said the controls were messed up.
00:03:50.000 No, the Earth's equilibrium was off.
00:03:52.000 Alright, one more game.
00:03:53.000 Championship match.
00:03:54.000 At the highest position!
00:03:56.000 He's from Romania, don't count.
00:03:58.000 The clouds?
00:04:01.000 Put it all on the line, Kristen.
00:04:02.000 No, no, no.
00:04:02.000 No, no, no, no, no.
00:04:03.000 Because they won't even give Alex the props for his win.
00:04:05.000 No, this is the championship match.
00:04:07.000 This is the championship match.
00:04:08.000 Whoever wins this, whoever wins this, listen, whoever wins this, we get straight on the jet.
00:04:15.000 We get back to the jet.
00:04:16.000 It just landed.
00:04:17.000 They've refueled.
00:04:17.000 We get back on the jet after this game.
00:04:19.000 This is for the championship.
00:04:21.000 This is the championship match.
00:04:23.000 I've fixed the Earth's equilibrium.
00:04:24.000 I've fixed the frame rate.
00:04:26.000 I've fixed the controllers.
00:04:27.000 Daylight savings time.
00:04:28.000 You guys are playing with daylight savings time an hour ahead.
00:04:30.000 Cheers.
00:04:40.000 The pure focus of everyone.
00:04:42.000 They are sweating.
00:04:43.000 It's a sweaty game.
00:04:46.000 Christian is locked in.
00:04:48.000 Come on, Alex.
00:04:49.000 Come on, Alex.
00:04:58.000 Cut!
00:04:59.000 Nigger!
00:05:00.000 Fucking!
00:05:01.000 Bastard!
00:05:02.000 Nice!
00:05:03.000 Nice!
00:05:03.000 We're so nice!
00:05:07.000 No!
00:05:08.000 No!
00:05:09.000 Nobody wins.
00:05:10.000 The computer won!
00:05:12.000 I'm retained by all my stuff.
00:05:14.000 Rock of the jet.
00:05:16.000 What the fuck!
00:05:18.000 So basically it was a draw.
00:05:19.000 It was a draw, because Tristan tried to win with Daylight Savings Time, then the computer won, it was a draw.
00:05:26.000 Samin, Alexi, champs.
00:05:27.000 No, what do you mean?
00:05:29.000 Daylight Savings Time.
00:05:29.000 Do you see why I don't play?
00:05:31.000 No, that was a draw.
00:05:32.000 The nucleus of a cell is the mitochondria.
00:05:36.000 Tristan, photosynthesis.
00:05:38.000 It was a draw, but really, truthfully, because I spotted how they were cheating, I think I can't.
00:05:43.000 You can't be poor without them.
00:05:45.000 It's not hard to work out that if you have five people pooling an income and you all trust each other, you can acquire assets quickly.
00:05:50.000 It's not difficult to do if you can find men you can trust.
00:05:52.000 Now men are separated.
00:05:53.000 Why are we separated?
00:05:54.000 We're separated because we're not as powerful.
00:05:55.000 So that's why they deliberately attack the idea of brotherhood.
00:05:58.000 And men just get dragged away from them.
00:05:59.000 *music*
00:06:13.000 What are you going to do about the apple crisps?
00:06:15.000 There's apple crisps right here.
00:06:18.000 Right here, nigger.
00:06:19.000 What are you going to do about it?
00:06:21.000 Eat the apple chips.
00:06:23.000 You're not going to do anything, are you?
00:06:24.000 Eat the fucking apple crisps.
00:06:26.000 You're a fucking bitch.
00:06:27.000 Find out.
00:06:28.000 You're a fucking bitch.
00:06:29.000 Eat them and find out what I do.
00:06:31.000 Bitch made nigger.
00:06:33.000 Henry, can I have 45 seconds of this room alone, please?
00:06:37.000 Do you mind stepping out of it now?
00:06:41.000 Ah, mister can't figure out how to close the door.
00:06:45.000 Who's your mate?
00:06:47.000 You're destroying our beautiful home, planet Earth.
00:06:52.000 This is Tristan Tate with Just Stop Oil.
00:06:55.000 You need to stop flying on private jets with your brother and your mates.
00:06:59.000 I was all alive?
00:07:00.000 Reading about Just Stop Oil and how private jets are destroying the Earth.
00:07:04.000 And decide to secretly sign up to their organization.
00:07:08.000 So I can lecture all of you having a great time on your private jet how much you are killing the planet.
00:07:15.000 Frankly, I can't believe I've been friends with any of you this whole time.
00:07:19.000 Jump off!
00:07:19.000 Jump off!
00:07:20.000 I need to be on the jet to tell you.
00:07:22.000 I need to be on the jet to lecture you guys about the dangers of climate.
00:07:30.000 Change.
00:07:30.000 I started this with the apple chips.
00:07:32.000 I ran my mouth about apple chips.
00:07:35.000 And here we are.
00:07:36.000 If I had the power to control the emissions of this plane, I would only amplify them to the level max so that people below me on the ground get soot on their head as I fly.
00:07:46.000 Are you trying to hurt my fingers?
00:07:47.000 Yes.
00:07:48.000 My only regret is that this plane does not emit enough carbon and greenhouse gases.
00:07:53.000 I'm not talking to you.
00:07:54.000 You're dead to me.
00:07:55.000 That's fine.
00:08:00.000 Driving with your friends is such an analog experience of life.
00:08:03.000 Setting ancient dinosaurs on fire, making small explosions inside of a combustion engine with cylinders.
00:08:09.000 Some have 8, some have 10. Real G's have 12. And then you get to race around and rubber grips you to the road.
00:08:16.000 This visceral, tangible, this very analog experience of life.
00:08:20.000 Breathing in the mountain air.
00:08:22.000 All of this, this analog experience of life is going to be replaced.
00:08:25.000 There won't be V12 Ferraris to race around in the mountains.
00:08:28.000 It'll be automated.
00:08:30.000 Technobots to take you from place A to place B. And I see the pattern of where we're all headed.
00:08:34.000 That's why I'm so dedicated to live the best possible existence I can live and smile every single day.
00:08:38.000 And to do that, unfortunately, the truth is you need brotherhood, you need strength, you need capability, and you also need a whole bunch of money.
00:08:43.000 Everything will be controlled by the AI autocrats.
00:08:45.000 The Matrix will finally close the gates.
00:08:48.000 This is the last analog generation.
00:08:49.000 This is the last season of the human series in which people could live an analog life.
00:08:55.000 If you're not trying to get rich to spend that money on analog things, then you're a fool.
00:09:02.000 Never lost a game.
00:09:04.000 Never lost a game to fucking pussy ass welfare ass diggers.
00:09:08.000 Don't worry about me.
00:09:09.000 I got it later.
00:09:09.000 Don't worry about me.
00:09:10.000 I can't lose.
00:09:12.000 I can't lose.
00:09:16.000 Oh my.
00:09:19.000 This motherfucking cheek.
00:09:20.000 Take a selfie.
00:09:22.000 Come then.
00:09:23.000 This is showing all my cars.
00:09:24.000 It doesn't matter.
00:09:26.000 It's a little tactical.
00:09:27.000 Uno.
00:09:28.000 Well fucking played.
00:09:33.000 Marcel, Marcel, I've never lost a game of Uno.
00:09:40.000 Marcel What is going on?
00:09:42.000 I've never lost a game of Uno.
00:09:44.000 I think I always win.
00:09:44.000 So.
00:09:46.000 Uno.
00:09:49.000 Uno.
00:09:51.000 Pussyhole!
00:09:52.000 On my jet!
00:09:54.000 April 23rd, you lost!
00:09:56.000 On my jet!
00:09:57.000 My jet!
00:09:59.000 April 23rd, you lost to me!
00:10:01.000 This is my jet now!
00:10:03.000 Me!
00:10:04.000 I won.
00:10:04.000 Tristan, did you notice there's something with the cars?
00:10:07.000 No, no.
00:10:09.000 You drive this to the way to the continental.
00:10:11.000 It's like, I'm just going to follow synthesis.
00:10:13.000 No, no.
00:10:14.000 The frame rate with the...
00:10:15.000 Andrew has in fact lost the game.
00:10:18.000 In fact, this makes him the sky loser, Marcel.
00:10:23.000 What was your situation for?
00:10:39.000 That's not biscuit.
00:10:40.000 What's the trick?
00:10:41.000 I met me in a biscuit.
00:10:41.000 Why are you so scared?
00:10:42.000 Myself.
00:10:43.000 That's a small tree.
00:10:44.000 What are you afraid of?
00:10:45.000 Now I'm drinking water.
00:10:46.000 If I didn't record this, people just wouldn't believe me when I say, what do we talk about?
00:10:50.000 We talk about being afraid of biscuits at 4 a.m.
00:10:52.000 Milk.
00:10:53.000 No more hot.
00:10:54.000 No more hot.
00:11:09.000 Come on, man.
00:11:11.000 Come on, man.
00:11:12.000 Come on.
00:11:13.000 Come on.
00:11:14.000 Give me the jab, Marcel.
00:11:15.000 Don't forget the jab.
00:11:16.000 Don't do the power punch.
00:11:17.000 Give me the jab.
00:11:18.000 Be smart.
00:11:19.000 Jab on the way in.
00:11:20.000 Jab at the shoulders.
00:11:21.000 That's it.
00:11:22.000 That's it.
00:11:23.000 Disrupt this blow like that.
00:11:24.000 Where's the two, three, four, eight, seven, nine, ten punches?
00:11:26.000 There we go.
00:11:27.000 Now you're working combos.
00:11:28.000 Nice punch.
00:11:29.000 Time.
00:11:34.000 Hold on.
00:11:35.000 Got my listen.
00:11:36.000 Nice punch.
00:11:37.000 That's all right.
00:11:50.000 Get up, man!
00:11:51.000 Get up!
00:11:55.000 Time.
00:11:59.000 No pay rise for you!
00:12:03.000 Come on, chef.
00:12:05.000 Come on, chap!
00:12:08.000 Come on, champ.
00:12:09.000 No.
00:12:27.000 No.
00:12:27.000 Fun as a tape mention, as always.
00:12:33.000 Evan beating Evan.
00:12:34.000 Evan coach.
00:12:35.000 Evan students.
00:12:36.000 You don't make it.
00:12:37.000 You just wait.
00:12:38.000 Stay safe.
00:12:38.000 Stay strong.
00:12:39.000 Cross hook loop.
00:12:40.000 There you go.
00:12:41.000 And the hook.
00:12:41.000 To his other shoulder.
00:12:43.000 30 seconds.
00:12:44.000 Jump on him.
00:12:45.000 Nice punch.
00:12:46.000 That's it.
00:12:47.000 Get on him then.
00:12:47.000 Work.
00:12:48.000 Nice.
00:12:50.000 Nice.
00:12:50.000 Hook the shoulder.
00:12:51.000 Don't let him recover again.
00:12:55.000 Reframe it.
00:12:55.000 Like the time going down is bad.
00:12:58.000 I'm almost out of time to hurt him.
00:13:00.000 Reframe in your head.
00:13:00.000 When I hear 30 seconds, I'm like, fuck.
00:13:02.000 I'm not like "Oh thank God it's almost over" family love Luke you've got to throw intercept those ones straight punches straight punches intercepts come on let's go come on you've got to give them all work Luke come on Andrew watch that come on work Luke come on come on Luke come on
00:13:33.000 I'm in.
00:13:33.000 When is round Luke?
00:13:34.000 Come on.
00:13:36.000 I do one more, please.
00:13:58.000 Shark.
00:13:59.000 Okay.
00:14:03.000 One breath, go again.
00:14:04.000 Just throw four.
00:14:06.000 Any four.
00:14:07.000 No, but that's a lot.
00:14:10.000 Excuse me, sir.
00:14:11.000 What do you have for sale?
00:14:12.000 I'll be the only guy who's smoking a cigar, racing around.