Tate Speech


KICKING A TREE IN HALF | Tate Confidential Ep. 56


Summary

Tate and Luke are in a car crash, Rory is addicted to Domino's, and Tristan wants to drive a car but it s raining and they have a flat tire and they need to get to a town to get a new car, but they don t know how to get there, so they get a train instead. However, Tristan decides to kill them all in the meantime, and it s not a good one. Enjoy the episode, and don t forget to leave us a rating and review on Apple Podcasts and Podchaser if you like what you hear. This episode was written by me, and produced by me and my friends, and edited by me. Please remember to rate, review, and subscribe to this podcast if you enjoyed this episode. I hope you enjoy it, and if you don t like it, please leave a review and tell me what you think about it in the comments section below! XOXO, Luke and Tate xoxo (Music by me) Music by me (and the rest of the band) (and all other original music by the band, and all other artists credited in this episode is by me). Please rate and review this episode and review it if you liked it! Thank you so much, and spread the word to your friends and family about it. Love you all! xx - Luke and Rory Love ya, Luke :D - Tom and Rory's music by me Luke's music is by Tate's music video by Tom's music in this podcast is by jaydavie , and all of my music by my band is by the rest is by myself by me is by my music is also by me in this ep & all of this is by taydave I'm not talking to you, so please don't forget to tweet me about it or you can do anything you like it? <3 Thanks, Tom's song by me or not talking about it, I'm listening to it or not listening to this, I don't know what you don't like it (it's not good enough, it's not enough, so I'm sorry, I love you, but it's better than that, so don't do it, but he's not listening it, so you should listen to it, you're not getting any more of it, right?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Good shot there from Tate!
00:00:02.000 A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
00:00:20.000 But I'm not a girl.
00:00:22.000 I'm a girl.
00:00:34.000 You Oh So what's happened? Luke broke his Ferrari, so he got a straightener.
00:00:43.000 Luke, why did you break your Ferrari?
00:00:45.000 I bought a car and he broke it.
00:00:46.000 I was driving on the highway, and all of a sudden it just said, the engine performance is limited.
00:00:51.000 So you broke the engine? I think if I buy someone a Ferrari, they should look after it.
00:00:55.000 Don't you? Yes, I agree.
00:00:56.000 Great. Come.
00:00:58.000 You're going to have to straighten this out.
00:01:00.000 It's going to have to be a straightener.
00:01:02.000 I'm going to do it quick.
00:01:04.000 Go.
00:01:05.000 Look for an offhand.
00:01:06.000 Look for a tackle power and a cross-court attack.
00:01:07.000 Go.
00:01:08.000 I'm going to do it quick.
00:01:36.000 Come on Luke, what's that footwork?
00:01:37.000 Plant your feet more, don't just walk backwards.
00:01:39.000 And body.
00:01:57.000 And once again, we're going to do a plank.
00:02:07.000 One more time.
00:02:09.000 And one more time.
00:02:37.000 I look... I look...
00:02:38.000 compose yourself. Throw those punches properly.
00:02:40.000 You're throwing to miss.
00:02:44.000 Throw with intent or don't throw.
00:02:46.000 One and a half minutes.
00:03:18.000 Now, no one realizes this because we haven't been recording it, but Rory is addicted to Domino's cookies.
00:03:29.000 He's ordered them twice today.
00:03:32.000 Here we go. One box, two box, three box, four boxes of Domino's cookies.
00:03:39.000 And there are more.
00:03:41.000 Now, he's just gone to answer the door.
00:03:46.000 I wonder what he...
00:03:48.000 He has no friends here.
00:03:50.000 He has no girlfriend here.
00:03:53.000 Who do you think's at the door, Luke?
00:03:57.000 Is it Domino's again? I hope not.
00:04:01.000 Bro, they come here like three times a day now.
00:04:04.000 He needs to stop this.
00:04:06.000 Why does he do it? He does it to get us.
00:04:09.000 That's why he does it. And he's also dating to Domino's.
00:04:12.000 It's a two-pronged attack.
00:04:14.000 Who is at the door? Why Rory?
00:04:27.000 Why do you keep doing this?
00:04:30.000 Every day, why do you do this?
00:04:35.000 Yes, but what?
00:04:38.000 This is the second, third time today.
00:04:40.000 20 cookies, 2 large pizzas Nice Having some?
00:04:45.000 I don't like you Why not?
00:04:47.000 I don't like you anymore Why not?
00:04:51.000 You need to stop doing this Look, twice a day is okay, you know?
00:04:54.000 It's not. It is, but what is the harm?
00:04:57.000 We train, I can eat pizza.
00:04:59.000 It's not that bad for me.
00:05:00.000 I'm not talking to you. Enjoy.
00:05:02.000 One more.
00:05:04.000 I'm not talking to you. Enjoy.
00:05:26.000 So
00:05:54.000 a few moments later what's happened go flat tire Driving was boring anyway because it was fucking raining.
00:06:14.000 Mountain roads in the rain are no fun, and now we have a flat tire.
00:06:18.000 But there's a town, ten minute walk that way.
00:06:21.000 And what are we gonna do when we go to the town?
00:06:23.000 Start drinking? Get a taxi.
00:06:28.000 A taxi? A taxi?
00:06:30.000 And what are we gonna do with this car?
00:06:34.000 Your ideas...
00:06:35.000 suck. Who's Chipman?
00:06:40.000 Chipman is the man that me and Luke know, who works on the trains and sells people chips.
00:06:46.000 Then we should go see Chipman. You're saying we get a train.
00:06:49.000 Maybe we can leave the car here.
00:06:50.000 If we get stolen, get stolen.
00:06:52.000 We have more. But we can get a train and we can eat chips from Chipman and I'll feel better inside.
00:06:58.000 Alright. Get us some train tickets.
00:07:02.000 Let's go walk down there.
00:07:04.000 You walk. I'll wait in the car.
00:07:11.000 No, my camera lens is not dirty.
00:07:14.000 Cough, cough.
00:07:16.000 Tsk.
00:07:18.000 We're sorry.
00:07:20.000 Right, so let me give you a breakdown.
00:07:21.000 What happened is this. I'm a multi-millionaire.
00:07:24.000 I decided to go on a little road trip.
00:07:26.000 A few pretty hotels. Some nice beautiful roads.
00:07:30.000 Convinced Tristan to come with me in the M5. Got a flat tire.
00:07:33.000 Now I want to become the train man.
00:07:36.000 And in the meantime, Tristan decided to kill us all.
00:07:39.000 Saying we need to die with that thing you do in cars.
00:07:42.000 With the exhaust. We don't have a hose pipe.
00:07:44.000 So we're trying to do it with Cubans. Why do we need to die again?
00:07:50.000 Why are you trying to kill us? Because I'm depressed.
00:07:53.000 Because he's depressed. I'm depressed.
00:07:55.000 I'm trying to kill us both. With cigar smoke.
00:07:59.000 If we finish these, there'll be about $150 worth of smoke in here.
00:08:07.000 This car's going to stink forever.
00:08:09.000 So? We're effectively ruining one of our cars.
00:08:11.000 It's our car. What are we going to do?
00:08:13.000 Call Amnesty. BMW is going to call us and tell us off.
00:08:17.000 Bunch of German cunts.
00:08:19.000 Cunts. Okay, can we go get the train now?
00:08:26.000 Can we smoke on trains? I don't know.
00:08:29.000 Yeah, probably. Let's go get the train, man.
00:08:31.000 Something's going to go wrong if we go get the train.
00:08:33.000 How can anything go wrong on a train?
00:08:35.000 Things go wrong. Something's going wrong.
00:08:37.000 Mark my words, something's going wrong.
00:08:39.000 Andrew can't take the smoke. Nothing goes wrong on trains.
00:08:41.000 Get the fuck out of here. We want a train in Romania,
00:09:09.000 and the train made an emergency stop, and they asked us to come help them, and it turns out it's the train captain.
00:09:18.000 It turns out that during the storm last night, a tree has blocked the train.
00:09:26.000 A big tree. A big fucking tree.
00:09:28.000 A tree so big, even you and me cannot move this tree.
00:09:30.000 No one's moving this tree. But they obviously went down the train and asked all the big G's to come out.
00:09:36.000 Big G's come out, let's move this train.
00:09:38.000 This is a big train.
00:09:40.000 Four or five tons at least.
00:09:42.000 Tons.
00:09:43.000 Solid.
00:09:44.000 I need a chainsaw to move this.
00:09:51.000 Peace.
00:09:53.000 Chop it up. Hours work with the chainsaw.
00:09:56.000 Give me a few Red Bulls, I'll be okay.
00:10:00.000 Can't do it without Red Bull. We never take the train.
00:10:06.000 We always take supercars.
00:10:08.000 First time ever we thought, you know what?
00:10:09.000 The train will be a scenic route.
00:10:11.000 We've never taken the train in Romania before.
00:10:15.000 And now, we're stuck.
00:10:20.000 And now, this is hour three.
00:10:22.000 That tree was too big to move.
00:10:24.000 No one has signal. They've called the Emergency Romanian Training Authority Backup, which is probably some 65-year-old man who sleeps all day.
00:10:31.000 What problem?
00:10:33.000 What? He's walking here.
00:10:35.000 I guess. Three hours.
00:10:39.000 And the world's worst train.
00:10:40.000 No drinks. No food.
00:10:42.000 Wooden seats. And I've ripped my $2,000 shoes walking through the forest.
00:10:49.000 Me and you should have tried harder to move that tree.
00:10:50.000 But it must have weighed 10 tons.
00:10:52.000 It's huge. Yeah, I don't want to show off.
00:10:55.000 I don't want to let the Romanians know how powerful I am.
00:10:58.000 I don't want to flex my true powers.
00:11:01.000 If they were fucking superheroes, they'd ram the fucking tree with the train.
00:11:05.000 We've already established by asking them that the train would move the tree if they rammed it.
00:11:09.000 This procedure. I have a procedure.
00:11:11.000 Get me there on fucking time.
00:11:13.000 Nerds. Dark territory!
00:11:26.000 That's all! Here we are, three hours later.
00:11:34.000 Three and a half hours later.
00:11:39.000 Some guys walked.
00:11:41.000 I can't see any vehicle behind the train, so they must not have driven here.
00:11:45.000 They fucking walked.
00:11:52.000 Walked here with a chainsaw.
00:11:55.000 From the nearest station, I guess.
00:11:57.000 I don't know how they got the message to them.
00:11:59.000 I think one of the conductors walked back.
00:12:02.000 I know these guys have walked here with the chainsaw.
00:12:09.000 Could just keep a chainsaw on the train, but I guess it doesn't cross their minds.
00:12:19.000 Time hit moving, I think.
00:12:22.000 Saved by the yellow jackets.
00:12:24.000 So we saved the day.
00:12:25.000 The train arrived on time.
00:12:27.000 I got out of the train.
00:12:28.000 I was a little bit tired. I'd been up drinking the night before, but the tree was in the middle.
00:12:32.000 So I gave the tree an expertly timed sidekick, split it in half.
00:12:37.000 You took both pieces, threw them left and the right.
00:12:40.000 Everyone was super impressed.
00:12:41.000 But because I was throwing the kick, I couldn't record on the phone.
00:12:44.000 I already recorded the guys with the chainsaws.
00:12:46.000 Fuck you.
00:12:49.000 It's a nonsense episode.
00:12:55.000 Where are we? We're in a salt mine.
00:12:57.000 This is a nonsense episode. Nothing makes sense.
00:13:00.000 So we're in a salt mine half a mile underground.
00:13:03.000 We were on a mountain and now we're underground.