Tate Speech


LAMBORGINI AVENTADOR SMASHED | Tate Confidential Ep. 67


Summary

In this episode, Luke and Rory find themselves stuck in the middle of nowhere, with no idea where they are going and no idea what to do next. They take a look around and realise that they have no idea, and the only option they have is to drive to the nearest town and hope that no one will notice that they ve crashed into a tree or something. But can they make it to the next town without getting stuck in traffic? Or will they be stuck forever? And what will it take to get them out of there? Will they ever find their friends again? And will they ever stop complaining about how awful their lives are at the moment? Find out if they can make it out alive, or if it s just going to have to be the end of the world as we know it. Have a listen to find out if you agree or disagree with our thoughts on the unfortunate events that have befallen them, and whether or not they should have been allowed to continue on the road at all, or whether they should be allowed to go at all. Enjoy this episode and spread the word to your friends and family about what has happened to them. Have a nice rest rest easy, friends! xoxo, Luke, Rory and Luke and Luke, you're not alone, are you enjoying your life right now? Enjoy! -Tristan, Luke & Rory, your life is a huge adventure and you're having a good time? - Luke, not your normal life is good, not good enough, not bad at all the same time, but good enough to be good at it's good enough? XOXOXOXO. -Luke, not the kind of life you like it's not bad enough? XOXO, not enough, but enough to have a good enough yet good enough for you're good enough so you should be good enough that you should have a nice drink and good enough you should drink enough to drink enough and you can have a little more than you're bad enough to go to sleep enough so that you can be bad enough you can drink enough wine and you don't need to be so good at drinking enough to sleep more than that you're at least have enough to enjoy it? xoxO, but not too good yet, not too bad, but you can't have it enough, right? Thank you so much love, Luke xo Luke, thank you for listening?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Good shot there from Tate!
00:00:02.000 A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
00:00:20.000 But I'm not a girl.
00:00:22.000 I'm a girl.
00:00:28.000 That's fine, I can deal with this.
00:00:33.000 Alright, I'm coming, no, trying too hard, no.
00:00:49.000 Go?
00:00:52.000 Alright, alright, alright.
00:01:03.000 Like that!
00:01:06.000 Like that! Where are we?
00:01:35.000 We made a new friend.
00:01:37.000 We did make a new friend, didn't we?
00:01:41.000 Nice car.
00:01:43.000 It is a nice car.
00:01:48.000 Our life is a huge adventure.
00:01:58.000 Our life is a huge adventure, dotted with a never-ending series of unfortunate events.
00:02:03.000 Never ending. The unfortunate events never end.
00:02:05.000 The adventure never ends.
00:02:07.000 Yeah. Although this time, nothing's gone wrong yet.
00:02:09.000 Nothing's gone wrong yet. Yet.
00:02:12.000 Yeah, we did almost up the flat tire scare.
00:02:14.000 Yeah. Something's going to go massively wrong.
00:02:17.000 Has to. There's no way in the universe.
00:02:20.000 Let's see. These three cars are over.
00:02:28.000 So Rory, you're Sleepy Joe.
00:02:30.000 No, well, I didn't leave myself sleeping here.
00:02:33.000 You've fallen asleep. I didn't fall asleep.
00:02:36.000 Because I was listening to Tristan's Russian 17th century Bible.
00:02:40.000 I'm listening to an audiobook on the Battle of Stalingrad.
00:02:42.000 It was so monotone.
00:02:44.000 It was literally, the horse galloped into the hill with the soldier on his back.
00:02:48.000 No one has mentioned the horse in the five hours that book's been playing.
00:02:51.000 Then what's cavalry then, Tristan?
00:02:52.000 Because that's conclusively.
00:02:54.000 They say that the German 60s Panzer Division was the last cavalry division In the German army, it was mechanised two years to play.
00:03:01.000 Okay, and what did the cavalry do?
00:03:02.000 What did the cavalry do?
00:03:04.000 They rode horses up the mountain.
00:03:08.000 What mountain? It was so monotone.
00:03:10.000 There was no singing, no rapping.
00:03:12.000 They could have broke into a little remix every chapter or so.
00:03:16.000 Well, they could have at least threw in a little chorus or something.
00:03:19.000 I don't know. It was just... It was so interesting, I couldn't keep my eyes out.
00:03:27.000 Listen, if they spoke about something interesting, like the creation of dominoes, I might have listened to it all.
00:03:37.000 So, Tristan's History Man and Rory's Sleepy Jail.
00:03:40.000 No, I wasn't even Sleepy Jail, I was just...
00:03:43.000 I was running out of options, Luke.
00:03:45.000 I was running out of options. There's only so much you could do.
00:03:47.000 I don't want to do that. We're trapped.
00:03:51.000 We needed the unfortunate event.
00:03:53.000 This is it we're trapped So Andrews little driving adventures are the highlight of his year And this time, I swore to myself I would not complain.
00:04:10.000 Independently, I've said to you and I've said to you, I'm not complaining in front of Andrew.
00:04:14.000 This is true. He's going to say I complain, and he's going to say, he's going to say that I'm ruining it.
00:04:19.000 But he just asked me, he goes, why don't you admit you're having fun?
00:04:21.000 Let me explain to you something.
00:04:23.000 You believe that driving is the funnest thing men can do.
00:04:27.000 It's so fun to drive supercars.
00:04:28.000 You say it all the time. The only things that don't warn me, fighting driving today, That was shit.
00:04:52.000 That was shit. That was shit.
00:05:01.000 No, nothing about that is fun.
00:05:02.000 Nothing about it is fun.
00:05:04.000 Motorways are not fun. Yeah, I know.
00:05:05.000 I know. It's hours and hours and hours and hours of motorway.
00:05:09.000 And on this trip, we'll get about five 20-minute periods where you can win around fast, which I can also do in my own country.
00:05:16.000 So no, it's not fun, is it?
00:05:18.000 You brats.
00:05:20.000 Cut that out, cut that out.
00:05:22.000 So what's that line?
00:05:24.000 Oh, cool.
00:05:26.000 Oh, cool.
00:05:28.000 Nice.
00:05:30.000 Nice.
00:05:32.000 Yeah.
00:05:59.000 One of these people who we're driving these fast cars with seems to have fucked up ahead.
00:06:04.000 Yeah. Now I hope he's crashed into a local French villager so I can see the Frenchman shouting at him as I drive back.
00:06:13.000 That would be good. That would be good.
00:06:14.000 What are you doing? I knew it.
00:06:16.000 The French people hide me.
00:06:18.000 It's not like Romania where it means that there's cops.
00:06:21.000 Yeah, they're flashing like, ha ha!
00:06:23.000 Yeah. One of your friends has crashed.
00:06:25.000 Little did. You idiot! Little did they know that I have no friends.
00:06:28.000 Yeah, we have no friends.
00:06:30.000 You're not my friend. Yeah.
00:06:32.000 And you definitely don't have fans either.
00:06:33.000 Exactly. And you haven't crashed because you're in my car.
00:06:35.000 Yep. Yeah.
00:06:40.000 I knew. I knew it.
00:06:41.000 Once I saw the flashes.
00:06:42.000 Yeah. It was, uh, you fucking idiots.
00:06:45.000 Well, you do speak French.
00:06:46.000 I do. I do. I speak French.
00:06:47.000 To be fair. I speak French.
00:06:49.000 I knew immediately. Hey, you idiots.
00:06:51.000 You crashed. All right.
00:06:55.000 Let's grab a look. A French villager?
00:06:59.000 A French villager has thrown shit at one of the cars in a span and crashed, so now the English are smashing his house up.
00:07:06.000 Nice. Let's get out of here.
00:07:09.000 Woo! Luke, why did your dad throw shit at a car?
00:07:12.000 Well, because, honestly, he was driving too fast.
00:07:16.000 I don't blame him. Too much flexing.
00:07:18.000 I will get some horse manure.
00:07:20.000 I know how to stop those pesky cars.
00:07:22.000 You cannot flex in the front of us.
00:07:25.000 Woo! So now the English is French Cigars Hotel?
00:07:28.000 Yeah. Yo!
00:07:37.000 What's Rory doing? There's no film with Rory.
00:07:45.000 Nice French people.
00:07:51.000 So, I'm gonna, yeah, I'm gonna look for the Frenchman.
00:07:55.000 Ah, so there's the shit.
00:07:57.000 There's the trash.
00:07:58.000 And that's his house.
00:08:00.000 A Frenchman.
00:08:02.000 Nice.
00:08:04.000 So it turns out, Trashman's friend, Jean Policeman, Yeah.
00:08:13.000 has decided to attack us.
00:08:15.000 Thanks for watching!
00:08:17.000 So we're under attack by the French.
00:08:19.000 Johnson's fall French have attacked us Trash man didn't get us He fucking got us.
00:08:37.000 Awesome. He is a hero. He is a superhero.
00:08:45.000 The funny thing is, since we all have the damn thing on the cars, it's very easy for the cops to say, yeah, this one's good, this one's bad.
00:08:54.000 This one's good, and this one's bad.
00:08:56.000 Andrew, Trashman is a hero.
00:08:58.000 He's a superhero. He's a gun.
00:09:00.000 Trashman smashed the windscreen with the trash, tried to fight it, pulled the gun.
00:09:04.000 Trash his gun! That's the move!
00:09:07.000 How do you counter that?
00:09:10.000 How do you counter that move?
00:09:12.000 Wait, so he smashed the windscreen?
00:09:14.000 Yeah, with the trash.
00:09:15.000 So what happened is he went out with the trash, he seized the guy, they cut him off or something, he smashes the windscreen with the trash, then they all try to fight him, he pulls his gun.
00:09:25.000 So what do you do?
00:09:27.000 How do you stop that move?
00:09:29.000 The trashing gun is a classic combination.
00:09:32.000 I see your wallet is in there.
00:09:33.000 Yeah, I don't.
00:09:34.000 So Tristan, what happened?
00:09:35.000 So we were a bit wrong about Trashman.
00:09:37.000 Yeah, so we're on our way to Nicky Beach.
00:09:39.000 It turns out The trash man isn't the hero I thought he was.
00:09:44.000 Apparently, for no reason, he smashed Jay's windscreen in.
00:09:48.000 Jay's another guy who we're driving with.
00:09:50.000 Smashed his windscreen in, and then all the guys got out and jumped him, and then smashed his house up.
00:09:56.000 Then they tried to pull a gun, and they took the gun off of him.
00:09:59.000 Yeah. So, it turns out the English have beaten the French once again.
00:10:03.000 It's true. It's 1815 all over again.
00:10:06.000 And Trashman got disarmed and got his house smashed up.
00:10:09.000 Yeah. He basically surrendered.
00:10:10.000 Yeah. That's basically surrendering.
00:10:12.000 We lost a cavalry unit.
00:10:14.000 Yeah. We lost a horse.
00:10:15.000 We lost a horse. Yeah.
00:10:17.000 His own base is destroyed.
00:10:19.000 Yeah. So...
00:10:20.000 Now, the police are just talking a bunch of French.
00:10:24.000 Yeah. And I don't know.
00:10:26.000 And I'm just gonna hang around, smoke a cigar, try and find some booze.
00:10:30.000 That does sound nice. Chill out.
00:10:31.000 Rory's got booze. We have booze in Rory's bag.
00:10:33.000 Nice. Little bottle of vodka.
00:10:35.000 I have to take a super piss super bad.
00:10:37.000 Damn. Well, I don't want the police...
00:10:38.000 I know, exactly. Try and raise some new charges against it.
00:10:41.000 Yeah. I'll hold it for 15 minutes.
00:10:44.000 If they let me go, I'll go to the next gas station.
00:10:45.000 Well, maybe. If I start speaking French to them.
00:10:49.000 They are, aren't they? Hello, no English?
00:10:53.000 No one speak French?
00:11:09.000 How is everyone here?
00:11:11.000 Yeah, no one can speak one bit of French. We need one translator.
00:11:15.000 But I ain't a dude.
00:11:17.000 No.
00:11:19.000 No.
00:11:21.000 It actually wasn't like that in the police.
00:11:24.000 Oh yeah, what did you do?
00:11:26.000 So this is Monaco.
00:11:32.000 This is Monaco, my friend.
00:11:35.000 That's where all the money is.
00:11:36.000 It's not often I feel poor.
00:11:38.000 It does look rich, I will admit.
00:11:40.000 This might be one of the most beautiful cities I've ever seen.
00:11:44.000 If you ain't got a 20 million pound yacht, you're very rich.
00:11:48.000 Monaco. Cars don't mean a thing.
00:11:51.000 Yeah, stop focusing on it.
00:11:53.000 That's almost a monocle.
00:11:54.000 Yeah.
00:11:55.000 That's a monocle.
00:11:56.000 Yeah.
00:11:56.000 Let's go to the bank.
00:11:58.000 That's almost funny though.
00:12:00.000 I wasn't rich. I wanted to feel rich.
00:12:02.000 So I went to the best restaurant and I started to order the best stuff.
00:12:04.000 The best steak. The best oysters.
00:12:06.000 Everything I wanted. Just me.
00:12:10.000 Whole bill's like 950 euros to just me to have dinner by myself.
00:12:15.000 Anyway, the waiter turns to me and goes, ah, so what are you celebrating?
00:12:20.000 Assuming I was celebrating something because I spent so much money, I just said.
00:12:23.000 Tuesday, as if I was some kind of gangster.
00:12:27.000 And he laughed, and we laughed, like, haha, just another normal day.
00:12:31.000 When really, that was half the money I had in the world.
00:12:33.000 And I was broke. But now I'm rich, so it's okay.
00:12:37.000 But I remember that moment. That would make you feel rich.
00:12:44.000 Here, the best restaurants, the best stuff.
00:12:51.000 So listen, look. I can't be bothered to get changed, I can put on a suit, look slick, do the James Bond shit, drive the cars to nice places, or we can get a bit Luton on Monaco.
00:13:04.000 Luton in Monaco?
00:13:05.000 It means take some booze.
00:13:08.000 Lunaco. You walk around boozing.
00:13:10.000 Do you want to find a corner shop and buy cheap booze?
00:13:12.000 In Monaco. I mean, can you think of anything more fun to do?
00:13:17.000 We're in Monaco. No one cares about you, Luke.
00:13:22.000 I'm not your fucking tour guide.
00:13:27.000 Luke, finish your beer.
00:13:28.000 You're embarrassing us. We're all finished.
00:13:30.000 Finish your beer. Tristan.
00:13:32.000 Yeah? I do fresh.
00:13:35.000 Mulsum Esk? Wonderful.
00:13:40.000 Cheers, guys. What?
00:13:42.000 What's happening? Luke, nobody likes us.
00:13:44.000 What did I say? This is going to be an endurance event.
00:13:46.000 This is a liter of beer.