Tate Speech - July 24, 2024


LET’S GO ENGLAND | Tate Confidential Ep 245


Episode Stats

Length

12 minutes

Words per Minute

98.044914

Word Count

1,237

Sentence Count

151

Misogynist Sentences

3

Hate Speech Sentences

7


Summary

Tristan and Andrew are at a football match and need some soccer beers to make up for not watching the England v Slovakia game, but they don't have anything to drink because they're at the game. So they go out and get some soccer beer to celebrate. But it doesn't work out as planned and they have to watch the England vs. Slovakia game at a cafe in the middle of the day in order to drink some pineapple lemonade juice and watch the game, which is not a good idea. They also talk about how they're going to win the World Cup this summer and how it's not going to be as bad as it looks like it might be. And then they talk about the fact that they're both old and slow, and how that's not a bad thing because they'll be able to beat the local Christians in a fight in the next round. And then it's time for the boys to go to bed because they've had enough of football and need to rest up for the next one. Enjoy the episode and don't forget to subscribe to the pod! and spread the word to your friends about this podcast. If you like what you've listened to this podcast, share it on your socials and tell a friend about it! if you're a fellow podcaster and/or if you think it's cool, we'll send you a rating and review it on Apple Podcasts! or wherever else you're listening to podcasts. XOXOXO. Timestamps: 0:00:00 - What are you'd like to support the podcast? 5:30 - What's your favourite football team? 6:00- What do you need a beer? 7:00 8:40 - How do you want to win a cup? 9:30- What's the worst thing you've ever watched a football game? 11:20 - Who do you're tired of football? 12:00s - what are you looking for? 14:30s - how do you feel about your favourite country? 15:40s - who do you think you're slow? 16:20s - do you like it? 17:50s - I've got a beautiful handwriting? 18:00 | I ve got a good hand? 19:00 + 20:00 szn 21:15s - you're not that old? 22:40


Transcript

00:00:00.000 We need soccer beers.
00:00:10.000 Very good.
00:00:11.000 Let's get started. I'll talk you through Andrew's genius plan on camera.
00:00:14.000 Andrew's genius plan. Last night, we've got to film car reviews in the morning.
00:00:17.000 Yeah, cool, cool. Get drunk last night, set my alarm, wake up at 9am, right?
00:00:20.000 Waiting, got to film his car review because we've got to come watch football, yeah?
00:00:23.000 Cool, cool. Andrew wakes up at 1.45.
00:00:26.000 Trains for an hour. And he's like, okay, let's film the car reviews.
00:00:29.000 I'm like, okay, let's go, let's go. I get in the car because I'm supposed to do followings.
00:00:32.000 He films the bit, the talking bit of the car review.
00:00:35.000 And he gets in fucking Alex Lambo and bounces straight here to the cafe.
00:00:39.000 And I'm filming a bunch of these shots.
00:00:41.000 My whole day's wasted.
00:00:42.000 I've done nothing I'm supposed to do all day.
00:00:44.000 It's now 5.30, 5, 6 o'clock.
00:00:46.000 I arrive home and Andrew's like, oh, well, why aren't you at the football?
00:00:48.000 What kind of set-up bullshit is this?
00:00:51.000 Tristan did a day's work and he's upset.
00:00:53.000 Welcome to my life. 540 T, 540. Tristan's in dire need of a 540.
00:01:24.000 Dire need of a beer? I have a Ferrari with me.
00:01:28.000 And you nicked all the security guards, I had no drivers.
00:01:31.000 So he drove and made the whole security team follow him, so I had no drivers.
00:01:36.000 Is there any way we could have a beer and the moose away Like maybe we should just get some beers we
00:01:47.000 We can drink some beers.
00:01:49.000 Yeah, I'll drink some. Nice.
00:01:51.000 Why are we drinking pineapple lemonade juice at a football game?
00:01:56.000 I think there's coriander in it.
00:01:58.000 For some beers!
00:02:01.000 Mate, your boys coming over, I'll just get what you need.
00:02:04.000 I said during my last stream of the England game that the best thing about being an England fan is waiting for them
00:02:19.000 to fuck it up.
00:02:23.000 You're watching and you know it's just a matter of time until they fuck it up.
00:02:26.000 And here they are, 1-0 down against a country with less of a population than most of their cities.
00:02:32.000 Slovakia. Oh, and by the way, every athletic man in Slovakia plays ice hockey.
00:02:37.000 So they're not even good at this sport.
00:02:38.000 Their national sport isn't football.
00:02:40.000 Their national sport is ice hockey.
00:02:41.000 This is like a third level sport for them.
00:02:44.000 After fucking didgeridoo or some dumb shit.
00:02:47.000 Probably some Slovak Morris dancing.
00:02:48.000 The retards who can't do that end up playing football and beating England.
00:02:52.000 And then England scored and were offside somehow.
00:02:55.000 So here we are, waiting for England to lose to Slovakia so they can all sit around and the pundits can say, yeah, well, you know, next year Southgate, who's getting it together, then next year he's starting to see the team formulate that bunch of dumb shit and they can lose again.
00:03:09.000 England!
00:03:15.000 England scored?
00:03:28.000 What? Fuck England. Let's go!
00:05:04.000 I don't give a fuck!
00:05:06.000 Let's go! Let's go out!
00:05:08.000 I don't care! It doesn't matter!
00:05:12.000 I'm Bill Tiffering!
00:05:14.000 Training is better than the fashion world!
00:05:15.000 Training is better than the fashion world!
00:05:17.000 Sit around, take this pill!
00:05:19.000 We'll be in a blue suit, let's go!
00:05:21.000 Body shots, you're a professor at this.
00:05:23.000 Kill myself, do something!
00:05:39.000 15 seconds!
00:05:41.000 ...the way you want to place this. If you're moving your legs long,
00:05:44.000 don't just come forward, take it out.
00:05:47.000 If you're moving your legs too far forward, you're done.
00:05:49.000 The mirror is reminding us all, reminding me that I'm old and slow.
00:05:58.000 I'm not that old, I'm not that slow.
00:06:01.000 I might have enough to fight the local Christians, you know?
00:06:05.000 It's all your fault!
00:06:14.000 Stand still!
00:06:15.000 and your face ugly.
00:06:17.000 I'm uncomfortable.
00:06:19.000 I'm grateful for looking at me people, for doing pets.
00:06:22.000 I need 30 people. Uppercut man, what are you waiting for?
00:06:25.000 Uppercut, hands up! See the left hand?
00:07:40.000 Look at my back foot.
00:07:41.000 You see where the left hand is? Loads the hook.
00:07:44.000 They twist it to each other.
00:07:48.000 In eye contact. You're doing them one by one, kind of here.
00:07:51.000 Yeah. Here and now, it needs to go...
00:07:52.000 But you know, it's only also like every day you have to do at least 3 rounds of 10.
00:07:57.000 Ok.
00:08:36.000 Ha ha ha!
00:08:40.000 Nice.
00:08:43.000 Come on, come on, come on.
00:08:53.000 One hour later.
00:09:00.000 Bye!
00:09:02.000 So I've been invited to Live Oak High School's class of 2024 in Louisiana.
00:09:09.000 I'll let the judge know that we need to leave Romania for something very important.
00:09:13.000 I've got a love letter here.
00:09:14.000 The handwriting's actually beautiful.
00:09:15.000 It's a beautiful handwriting. It's very neat.
00:09:17.000 I like girls with neat handwriting.
00:09:19.000 They give good hand jobs. So I've got a bunch here.
00:09:22.000 Blah, blah, blah. I love you.
00:09:25.000 Blah, blah, blah. I noticed this picture, but she's giving me her Instagram, so...
00:09:29.000 Look at that. I'm gonna write back market research I think we need to go to their grad party, bro. We're free.
00:09:48.000 We just turn up at that grab party Bro, we have to go.
00:09:51.000 Completely random. If we're free and you send us an invitation to something, we might just come.
00:09:56.000 Dear Tate Brothers, my name is Sandra. You've changed my life. Blah blah blah blah. Sandra.
00:10:02.000 There's her Instagram, so that goes in the keep pile.
00:10:05.000 Nice.
00:10:07.000 Check out the holidays.
00:10:08.000 This one.
00:10:09.000 You're not actually joking. You get love letters every single day.
00:10:13.000 Every single day, bro. I just go on their Instagrams, and I say, yeah, that's worth a poke.
00:10:16.000 And I message them and say, I will have sex if you book a flight.
00:10:18.000 And then they message my assistant, and we organize a flight, and they come here.
00:10:21.000 And I have sex with them, and they accuse me of human trafficking, I guess.
00:10:25.000 In stop.
00:10:31.000 In the keep pile. No Insta, trash.
00:10:37.000 I don't know how much you love and you don't know what you fucking look like.
00:10:40.000 Jesus Christ.
00:10:42.000 Kill the program. Bullshit, bullshit.
00:10:45.000 Last one. For the day.
00:10:50.000 Messy handwriting. Bad handjobs.
00:10:54.000 Bad handjobs. Girls, if you're going to send me love letters, please put your Instagram on the letter.
00:10:57.000 Let's save everybody. I'm not reading it.
00:11:00.000 There's no Instagram. I scan.
00:11:01.000 If there's an Insta and the handwriting's neat, I read it.
00:11:03.000 If I scan and there's no Insta, I'm not reading it.
00:11:05.000 If the handwriting's messy, I'm not reading it.
00:11:07.000 So you might as well put the Insta at the top.
00:11:09.000 And then write very nicely.
00:11:11.000 And then I'll look at your Instagram.
00:11:12.000 And then I'll set up 106 with you. Thank you.
00:11:15.000 I'm telling you now, if you do one now, high card, you're going to win.
00:11:20.000 No. Alex, Alex.
00:11:22.000 Marcel's bringing in the good luck energy.
00:11:25.000 We have five minutes to wait on the Uber, just one go.
00:11:30.000 If you just do this one day, you're gonna win.
00:11:33.000 I'm telling you bro. Tristan, how much?
00:11:37.000 You're gonna win, I'm telling you now.
00:11:39.000 Let me check. Marcel, get the cards.
00:11:46.000 Where are the cards? No idea, in there maybe?
00:11:48.000 In there. All special cards are equally high.
00:12:09.000 First is mine and second is yours.
00:12:11.000 All high cards are equally high and numbers are numbers after that.
00:12:14.000 Yeah. Let's go.
00:12:16.000 Put them down. I said it was 300.
00:12:24.000 I said it was 800. This is your fault now.
00:12:35.000 The Matrix has attacked me.