Tate Speech


ONLY PERSON ON THE PLANE ✈️ | Tate Confidential Ep. 144


Summary

This episode is about a guy who's on a plane and wants to make a burger that tastes like a McDonald's Quarter Pounder, but with twice the flavor and twice the calories. Also, it's about time someone invented a quarter pounder that's better than the standard one, and it's called the Quarter Pound Mac. And that's not even half as good as the one you're eating right now. This episode was written and produced by me and my good friend Luke. Thank you so much for listening and supporting this podcast. We really appreciate it and we hope you enjoy this episode. We'll be back next week with a new episode where we talk about a bunch of other stuff. We hope you like it, and we'll see you next week. XOXO, Luke and Joe xoxo Luke and Tom Luke and Andrew Tom and John Off to Monte Carlo Joe and John Andrea and Andrea Cheers, Cheers! Timestamps: 4:00 - What are you eating? 5:30 - What do you like about it? 6:20 - What's your favorite meal? 7:15 - What would you like to eat? 8:40 - Is it good? 9:00- What is your favorite thing to eat on the plane? 10:00 11:15- What are your favorite food? 12:30- What's the worst thing you ve eaten so far? 15: What s your favourite thing? 16:40- Is it better than yours? 17:20- How do you would you be eating it the best meal of the day? 19:00 Is it a good meal of your day so far ? 21:00 Are you eating it right now? 22:00 Do you think you re eating it better? 25:00 What s the worst meal you ve got the best thing that you ve been eating right? 26:00 Would you like me to make you eat it more? 27:00 Can you eat something better than someone else is eating it more than you are eating something else? 29:00: Is there a better than you ve ever eaten something that you like? 30:00 Does it taste better than that? 31:00 Have a question or would you want to eat something else better than this? 32:00 -- Is it more like you ve had a better piece of bread?


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Oh
00:00:42.000 The Porsche's I like fortune they need something They need a little something because they're a bit boring on their own.
00:01:01.000 Do you know what I mean?
00:01:02.000 I'm not sure.
00:01:23.000 Bro, it looks incredible.
00:01:49.000 I'm just deciding.
00:01:51.000 Interesting. Fuck.
00:01:56.000 I took myself a nice big jet.
00:01:59.000 Fuck outta here. I'm good.
00:02:07.000 Should be enough for one person.
00:02:11.000 Got a little bed at the back.
00:02:13.000 I want to take a nap.
00:02:15.000 TV screens, etc.
00:02:17.000 You're my only friend on this plane.
00:02:19.000 I have no one else but you.
00:02:24.000 Me? Yeah, you're my only friend on the plane.
00:02:26.000 No one else is coming. My name is Andrea.
00:02:29.000 Nice to meet you. Are you Romanian?
00:02:30.000 Yes. Ah, hello Andrea.
00:02:32.000 Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.
00:02:37.000 Perfect. All right, I'll choose something in a little bit.
00:02:46.000 Thank you.
00:02:49.000 Cheers!
00:02:51.000 Perfect!
00:02:53.000 Music Oh, no. Tristan? Oh, you're not there.
00:03:07.000 What about Tristan? You sleeping? You chilling?
00:03:08.000 Oh. Tristan's not chilling on the plane.
00:03:11.000 Where's Tristan? T? T, where you at?
00:03:17.000 T? Tristan? Tristan, it's raining outside.
00:03:23.000 Yeah. And we live in a mess.
00:03:26.000 It's your mess. I'm happy.
00:03:28.000 I'm now a bare minimalist.
00:03:30.000 What are you eating?
00:03:36.000 No seasoning, no flavor.
00:03:37.000 That doesn't sound good. Got pills with zinc and calcium.
00:03:42.000 Where's Andrew? No idea.
00:03:51.000 Celery. Wipe it with my t-shirt.
00:03:53.000 Wipe the dirt off of my t-shirt first.
00:03:55.000 What is this? Where's Andrew?
00:04:01.000 I am now a monk.
00:04:03.000 What do you mean a monk?
00:04:05.000 There's like McDonald's here and shit.
00:04:07.000 That McDonald's coffee is not mine and you know it.
00:04:12.000 I do know that.
00:04:14.000 Celery, can of tuna, zinc and calcium pills.
00:04:20.000 Oh That's all the man needs.
00:04:23.000 But where's, where's Andrew?
00:04:25.000 So what's a nice towel?
00:04:27.000 Uhhhh Nice hot towel Bye!
00:04:32.000 Ooh, Luke, you knew how hot that was.
00:04:35.000 Luke, you fucking loser, you stupid little prick.
00:04:39.000 You tell me, I ain't supposed to do the count.
00:04:42.000 I lost all my numbers in my phone.
00:04:44.000 I've no one to talk to, I have no friends.
00:04:52.000 I'm saying Tom and John.
00:04:57.000 Off to Monte Carlo, Luke.
00:05:00.000 I wish I knew what to say, but I can't.
00:05:03.000 I'm going to go to the bathroom.
00:05:51.000 I'll give you a little discount.
00:05:57.000 $5.65 for Joe!
00:05:59.000 Joe!
00:06:01.000 Joe!
00:06:03.000 $5.65.
00:06:05.000 Joe!
00:06:17.000 I'll throw you in. Hi Luke,
00:07:06.000 what are you doing? Making a super Big Mac.
00:07:09.000 See this bread? It's bullshit.
00:07:13.000 Basically poison. So, you get nice chicken nuggets, you put it there, and you make a super Big Mac.
00:07:20.000 This is how they should sell Big Macs, but maybe I should take over McDonald's.
00:07:25.000 It's alright, don't worry, I have an idea.
00:07:29.000 Jason, what are you doing? I'm making a super fillet of fish.
00:07:34.000 We all know fillet of fishes are the best sandwiches that McDonald's sell.
00:07:37.000 Everybody knows that. So if I scrape the sauce and the fish and the cheese from this one and transplant it into this one, I have double the flavor Double the flavor.
00:07:51.000 Double the flavor. With half of the bread.
00:07:55.000 So wait, wait, so why don't they sell these?
00:07:56.000 Why don't they sell them like this?
00:07:58.000 This is a business masterclass.
00:07:59.000 Andrew can't be eating it better than us.
00:08:01.000 It's impossible. No way.
00:08:05.000 That's fucking excellent. Man, I wonder what Andrew's fucking eating.
00:08:09.000 He's probably eating fucking bullshit.
00:08:12.000 He's not eating like this. No way.
00:08:14.000 No way. Double the flavor.
00:08:16.000 Double the power. So now I've invented the quarter pound mac.
00:10:24.000 So what you do is you take the standard McDonald's quarter pounder with all of its ketchup, cheese, and pickles.
00:10:30.000 You toss off the first bit of bread.
00:10:32.000 Okay. Then you open up your Big Mac and you take this piece of bread that they put in the middle of the Big Mac.
00:10:38.000 You scrape off the cheesy saucy goodness.
00:10:41.000 Okay. And you replace the piece of bread with your quarter pound meat slab.
00:10:47.000 Okay. Then you have a Big Mac, but instead of having a crappy piece of bread in the middle, you have a quarter pounder slice in the middle.
00:10:56.000 I call it the quarter pound Mac.
00:10:58.000 The quarter pound Mac?
00:11:00.000 Mm-hmm. Why does no one come up with this stuff?
00:11:03.000 I know, you'd think that a multi-billion dollar corporation like McDonald's could think a little bit and actually come up with products that are decent.
00:11:09.000 This is good eating. Man.
00:11:11.000 Fuck, I know. Andrew can't be eating like us.
00:11:13.000 No way! No way!
00:11:17.000 I'm going to the gym.
00:11:26.000 Tristan, what are you doing?
00:11:51.000 I think I've discovered something amazing.
00:11:52.000 What? So, the chicken tender.
00:11:54.000 Okay. Milkshake.
00:11:58.000 Nice. Super protein shake.
00:12:04.000 Protein. Nice.
00:12:05.000 Nice milky flavor.
00:12:07.000 Great. Ice creamy.
00:12:10.000 Very good. Highly recommended.
00:12:12.000 There's no way Andrew's beating this.
00:12:32.000 What? There are none.