Tate Speech


PARIS IS NOT FUN | Tate Confidential Ep. 33


Summary

In this episode, Luke and Andrew talk about their recent trip to Europe, crackheads, and the future of Burger King in Romania. Also, Luke learns that he's not as smart as he thinks he is, and that he needs to get a driver s license to get into the military, and why he doesn't want to get married until he's 21 years old. Also, we talk about crackheads and crackheads in general, and how they're everywhere in Paris, France, and Luke thinks he's going to have more fun in Paris than Andrew does in Switzerland. We also talk about why Luke doesn't know how to drive a car, and what it's like to be a crackhead in France. And of course, we have a special guest on the pod, Luke's girlfriend, Tayt! We hope you enjoy the episode, and if you like it, please leave us a review on Apple Podcasts and tell us what you thought of it! XOXO, EJ & Luke - The EJ Podcasts - Luke & Rory - EJ and Andrew - P.S. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of the podcast, it really means a lot to us. We really appreciate it. We appreciate you. -EJ & Andrew EJ - Thank you for being a good friend and supporting us. Luke - Rory - Cheers, Luke - Cheers! - CJ & Rory - Ej Luke and Rory - Cheerio - JB - JAC - JUICY - JTAYLOR - JAYE - Jadyn - JAMIE - JOSH - JOSEPH - JORDAN - JAMES - JORGE - JARRELL - JERRY - JANICE - JEAN - LUCY - DANICA - JODY - JANE - JADY - KEVIN - LOUDIE - CHEERIE - SONGS - JONY - AYAN - KELLY - PODCASTING - JAXO - JENYANNA - JORRYE - RYANTON - JODY - BABY - LYNN - JESSE - JANDY - GRAVY - MALAYA - JASIE - DEREK - KAREN - JOLE - LORIH - BONUS - JAMEY - YANNA ANDREAU - JYANIA - PORCH - JAVY - CHAD - KAYLE - DOUG - BRIAN - BAYANNA


Transcript

00:00:00.000 Good shot there from Tate!
00:00:02.000 A lot of people say girls love money and that's not entirely true.
00:00:20.000 But I'm not a girl.
00:00:22.000 I'm a girl.
00:00:34.000 Thanks for watching!
00:00:36.000 you See that big sign, Luke?
00:00:40.000 I do. In the food court?
00:00:41.000 What's it advertising? Burger.
00:00:43.000 Why? Burger King's whack, and they need to get as much advertisement as possible to get business.
00:00:49.000 Burger King is awesome. What are you going to eat?
00:00:51.000 Romanian food?
00:00:52.000 I'm going to eat some Romanian meat. You're boring.
00:00:54.000 No. I'm in Romania.
00:00:56.000 What do Romanians do? You know what?
00:00:58.000 I'm eating nothing but Burger King this entire trip.
00:01:01.000 Oh my god. No way.
00:01:03.000 That's a bad idea. Is Burger King shot?
00:01:06.000 It is, because it's shit.
00:01:09.000 Luke, your negativity has fucked me over.
00:01:12.000 You being negative has made Burger King not function.
00:01:15.000 They went out of business. No way.
00:01:18.000 They're gone. They're done.
00:01:20.000 This is fake news.
00:01:21.000 This is your fault. It's not my fault.
00:01:23.000 Yes, it is. I know this really good place.
00:01:24.000 You did this on purpose. You're full of shit.
00:01:28.000 Yeah, the business lounge.
00:01:29.000 I could drink wine. You obviously don't know the business lounge exists.
00:01:33.000 This is one, look at this.
00:01:34.000 You're a geek.
00:01:35.000 So to confirm, when me and Andrew sit down and have our competition of who had the most fun journey, the only thing he's going to have over us is Paris.
00:01:44.000 He's going to show us all the stuff he did in Paris with Rory.
00:01:48.000 That's why secretly, instead of flying straight to Zurich, we're flying to Paris first for five hours to have more fun than Andrew in that time.
00:01:57.000 So when he says Paris, I'll show him that we had more fun in Paris than in Zurich.
00:02:01.000 And he won't even know we've been there.
00:02:03.000 Fuck it. Yep. What is this shit?
00:02:05.000 This is better than Burger King.
00:02:06.000 Where is my Burger King? Burger King's whack.
00:02:08.000 It's closed. You're a liar. It's closed.
00:02:10.000 This place is open for a reason.
00:02:11.000 It's your fault. No.
00:02:13.000 This is Romanian food in Romania.
00:02:15.000 It's better than Burger King.
00:02:17.000 Burger King is whack.
00:02:19.000 What about the restaurant? Luke had purchased these small bottles of sparkling water.
00:02:23.000 And we were getting up on our way to the business lounge and he was taking them with them.
00:02:27.000 And I said, why are you taking them with us?
00:02:29.000 Why? He goes, oh, well, I paid for them.
00:02:31.000 He's never been to a business lounge before.
00:02:34.000 So to teach him a lesson, I'm taking this for free out of the refrigerator in the business lounge.
00:02:39.000 And I'm making him drink whiskey and coke.
00:02:44.000 Welcome to the real world, loser.
00:02:46.000 Shit. This is true.
00:02:48.000 True story. That's what you get.
00:02:50.000 I don't know why I did this. Because you're a pathetic, no-good, worthless punk who has no clue about business lounges.
00:03:02.000 So this is it. This is Paris.
00:03:06.000 Je suis, je suis, Paris.
00:03:09.000 Fucking dicks. I've been here, I've been to France like eight times to fight.
00:03:12.000 I beat them every time. They're always so proud.
00:03:14.000 Like, ah, vive la France.
00:03:17.000 I will beat your man up and fuck your ring girls.
00:03:20.000 I'll jizz in them. I might have a French baby.
00:03:23.000 Andrew, you can't do that. If I have a French baby, I guarantee he still doesn't speak French.
00:03:28.000 If he's my genetics, he'll refuse to speak this stupid language.
00:03:31.000 Who's this dude? Why is no one in France look French?
00:03:34.000 He's clearly from fucking...
00:03:36.000 This can get the channel banned.
00:03:37.000 I'm allowed to get political. He's not French.
00:03:40.000 No one here is French. Point to a French person.
00:03:43.000 Even Mr. Moped.
00:03:45.000 I need to get my fucking car.
00:03:47.000 Dick.
00:03:49.000 No one's from France, bro. Nobody.
00:03:59.000 Is he from France? Is this man from France?
00:04:02.000 This guy? No.
00:04:04.000 He looks French, though. He isn't.
00:04:06.000 Who's this crackhead? You see him covered up in his coat.
00:04:10.000 There's crackheads everywhere, bro.
00:04:12.000 Bro, I've seen more crackheads in Paris in the last five minutes than I've seen in Luton in a month.
00:04:16.000 Bro, look at this crackhead. Look at him. Cracked out Speedwalk.
00:04:18.000 Crazy. He's hiding his face.
00:04:20.000 He just hid his face. You see him hide his face because you knew he was cracked out.
00:04:24.000 You knew it was cracked out. Bro, let me tell you something.
00:04:27.000 Cracked out people have the cracked out speed walk.
00:04:29.000 And they speed walk when they're cracking.
00:04:31.000 They get cracked out and they start speed walking.
00:04:33.000 And he was speed walking and he was cracked out.
00:04:35.000 I can see it. Crack head, crack head, crack head, crack head.
00:04:38.000 Everyone's a fucking crack head here.
00:04:39.000 Look at all these brothers on the corner.
00:04:41.000 Are they French to you? They look French to you.
00:04:42.000 Look at these brendas on the corner.
00:04:45.000 Keep the camera low before they fucking rush the car.
00:04:47.000 Right here. Boom.
00:04:49.000 They're definitely crackheads.
00:04:51.000 Are they French? No. Who's my man with the fucking rucksack and the...
00:04:55.000 Here, this guy.
00:04:56.000 Mr. Fucking Mountain Explorer.
00:04:59.000 Fucking everything.
00:05:01.000 Crazy. Rotted.
00:05:03.000 It's just crackheads and fucking big black dudes.
00:05:06.000 NBA all-stars up in this motherfucker The country's whack Your country hasn't been good since Napoleon.
00:05:26.000 Hello, my name is Luke.
00:05:28.000 I am Luke. I have croissants and cheese.
00:05:32.000 And champagne. I'm more French than you then.
00:05:35.000 T, you're not more French than me.
00:05:38.000 Yes, I am. I have a French passport.
00:05:41.000 Is yours for him? I don't need a French basketball.
00:05:47.000 Croissons, serpé, I'm a Frenchman.
00:05:51.000 I'll tell you what, I'll tell you what. I surrender.
00:05:54.000 Shit. Got it.
00:05:56.000 How's that feel? We did surrender.
00:06:00.000 Really? It is true.
00:06:02.000 It happened. It happened.
00:06:04.000 That is history.
00:06:06.000 You do have croissons.
00:06:08.000 But you did surrender. Cheers.
00:06:19.000 Business class. So T, why are we in Paris?
00:06:23.000 I don't know. We have no reason to be in Paris.
00:06:26.000 We're in Paris to have more fun in Paris than Andrew has in Paris.
00:06:29.000 So when he tries to pull his Paris fun out in his argument, we get to win.
00:06:34.000 Is he even in Paris yet?
00:06:40.000 Right. I'm gonna win your hat, Rory.
00:06:42.000 You're not gonna win my hat. You're definitely not going to win my half.
00:06:54.000 We fucking got it.
00:06:56.000 We got you. We got you.
00:06:58.000 We're doing more Paris than you.
00:07:00.000 You see how sunny it is and how beautiful it is.
00:07:03.000 Beautiful day. Yeah. Absolutely beautiful.
00:07:07.000 We got you.
00:07:13.000 Andrew, we got you.
00:07:14.000 We got you. You can't say you didn't get you.
00:07:17.000 We're smoking cigarettes opposite the Eiffel Tower.
00:07:20.000 We did Paris better than you.
00:07:21.000 We're more French than you.
00:07:23.000 I just had a croissant, my nice espresso, sparkling water, and a cigarette.
00:07:27.000 Looking at the Eiffel Tower, I start smoking them to be French.
00:07:33.000 While I'm in France, I smoke.
00:07:35.000 Oui, oui. We got you.
00:07:39.000 We had more fun in Paris than you did.
00:07:41.000 Look at this beautiful day with all these other Parisian people.
00:07:45.000 When Andrew's there, it's raining and snowing by tonight.
00:07:48.000 Yeah. Three hours of sunshine.
00:07:49.000 Yeah. The Lord has blessed us.
00:07:52.000 He really has. We got him.
00:07:56.000 We got him. It's one of the best gifts we've ever gotten.
00:08:00.000 What could their adventure be?
00:08:02.000 We're getting a stuck car way better than them.
00:08:04.000 Way better. They didn't even know about this part.
00:08:06.000 They didn't even know. They were in Paris.
00:08:08.000 They didn't even do this. This isn't even the whole thing.
00:08:10.000 We've got a train. We've got a bunch of shit.
00:08:14.000 Our venture is better. Our venture is much better.
00:08:16.000 I think we would live here. Why are we in France?
00:08:19.000 To get angry. We have no reason to be here.
00:08:23.000 Let me say we're up by the Apple Tower.
00:08:24.000 We're actually, we went the wrong way.
00:08:26.000 Yeah. We went over Stuttgart twice.
00:08:30.000 Yeah. In the opposite direction.
00:08:32.000 We passed our mission.
00:08:34.000 Yeah. And now we gotta go back.
00:08:37.000 In style. In style.
00:09:06.000 So it starts snowing.
00:09:09.000 It's snowing in Germany as well.
00:09:11.000 I know in Germany you need to have winter tires by law.
00:09:14.000 I, of course, have summer tires.
00:09:17.000 What the fuck is it snowing for most?
00:09:19.000 Why? I'm about to get stuck in Germany or crash and die.
00:09:24.000 One of the two. What about summers?
00:09:28.000 The Porsche we're collecting has winters.
00:09:32.000 There's already snow on the road.
00:09:34.000 It should be fun.
00:09:36.000 Like the worst driving conditions ever.
00:09:38.000 Look at this shit. I think we should take traction control off on the car.
00:09:41.000 That would be much more sensible.
00:09:46.000 What can we do with this shit?
00:09:51.000 I'm driving through France in snow and the roads haven't been gridded.
00:09:58.000 And I'm on summer tires in a 600 horsepower M5. So if I die, I just want all you motherfuckers to know that I died rich.
00:10:10.000 And that's the thing.
00:10:12.000 Let me tell you something, man. People say money doesn't buy happiness.
00:10:14.000 That's true. But being broke ain't gonna make you happy.
00:10:18.000 Being rich ain't gonna hurt you in any way.
00:10:20.000 It's only gonna improve your life.
00:10:22.000 It's gonna improve the life of people around you.
00:10:24.000 There's no way it's gonna ever detriment your life.
00:10:28.000 To be rich or richer.
00:10:30.000 Now, I sit here every day and tell you I will make you money.
00:10:35.000 I explain to you how Forex works.
00:10:37.000 I explain to you why now is the perfect time.
00:10:40.000 And I give you a trial so you can try me out first and call my bullshit.
00:10:46.000 If you read this thread, you'll see all the proof.
00:10:49.000 You'll also see nobody coming along and saying, I joined this trial, it didn't work.
00:10:53.000 Nobody. So everyone who's joining is making money.
00:10:58.000 Because if it didn't work, people will be coming on here going, this is bullshit.
00:11:01.000 There's no hate. What more proof do you need?
00:11:05.000 Join the trial today.
00:11:07.000 And if it doesn't work, come out on the internet and you can come out and fucking say, this guy's full of shit.
00:11:11.000 And if it does work, you make some money.
00:11:13.000 What are you going to lose? Read the rest of this thread.
00:11:16.000 You see all the proof in there.
00:11:18.000 Go to corporatedate.com.
00:11:19.000 Any more questions, message the live chat agent.
00:11:22.000 Let's start getting money. Because if I die...
00:11:26.000 There needs to be some other fucking rich motherfuckers driving across France on summer tires and M5s in the snow.
00:11:32.000 Can't leave all the adventure to me.
00:11:36.000 About to happen.
00:11:46.000 Someone's fucked up. It's a little chief.
00:11:50.000 Someone with winter tires.
00:11:52.000 Someone less professional than me.
00:11:55.000 There's all these people who don't respect the snow.
00:11:57.000 You're snowing, bro. You better calm the fuck down.
00:11:59.000 So what happened here? Let's see. Let's have a look.
00:12:02.000 Fire Brigade are there. That guy looks alright.
00:12:07.000 Fire Brigade.
00:12:09.000 You in the ditch?
00:12:12.000 Ross! Ross.
00:12:18.000 Rotted! Car fucked!
00:12:21.000 Jesus Christ.
00:12:23.000 Probably a woman. I'm a man.
00:12:26.000 I can drive like a man.
00:12:29.000 Women. My tampons fell out!
00:12:35.000 Bitch. Huh?
00:12:40.000 Yeah, please.
00:12:43.000 Nice. What is this?
00:12:50.000 Coffee. Belgian coffee.
00:12:54.000 It's not Belgian coffee.
00:12:55.000 Don't be a baby. Bro.
00:12:58.000 I want coffee.
00:12:59.000 Stop being a baby.
00:13:01.000 Basically, I'm more French than you.
00:13:03.000 Oh, yeah. We should also mention that the food here is whack.
00:13:06.000 They do not have sandwiches.
00:13:09.000 Is the food here good?
00:13:11.000 You have lots of meat.
00:13:12.000 Yes, they do. And pickles. And mustard.
00:13:15.000 And free red wine.
00:13:16.000 That's true. But, see, I wanted a sandwich.
00:13:19.000 And you said that they'd have super good food.
00:13:21.000 Sandwiches are for English people.
00:13:23.000 I'm French. They won't even let us really record.
00:13:25.000 I'm French. I need more French.
00:13:27.000 So to see who's more French, we're putting as much dino mustard on this as possible.
00:13:32.000 Alright, T. I am more French than T. I think I can do it.
00:13:42.000 Yeah. Watch.
00:13:44.000 Yeah, look at that pain.
00:13:45.000 That's not a Frenchman's pain, is it?
00:13:47.000 I'll finish the Dujon mustard.
00:13:48.000 I'll be your champion. You must turn on all sides.
00:13:52.000 Is this enough? No.
00:13:54.000 The top, you need to take it from your fork and roll the top and mustard as well.
00:13:57.000 Now I'm going to lose some Dujon.
00:13:58.000 You see, I just lost some there. Okay.
00:14:04.000 That's good enough.
00:14:06.000 Keep a, keep a straight face.
00:14:09.000 Shit, you might be more French than me.
00:14:16.000 Bye.
00:14:18.000 I can see the pain, though.
00:14:19.000 There's no pain. I know. The pain was visible.
00:14:22.000 No pain. I'm French. The pain was visible.
00:14:23.000 The French can eat as much as your mustard as you can.
00:14:26.000 I bet I could drink more red wine than you, though.
00:14:27.000 It's true.
00:14:28.000 I'm not even going to play that game.
00:14:29.000 Business.
00:14:30.000 My own business.
00:14:31.000 I'm going to play this game.
00:14:50.000 So T is just going to make it impossible for me to sleep in this life.
00:14:54.000 Because he cannot sleep.
00:14:55.000 He doesn't know how to sleep, he just has Aikido hands.
00:14:58.000 So he hates people who can sleep.
00:15:01.000 He has a blind hatred for all sleepers.
00:15:08.000 Oh!
00:15:16.000 I'm all into his tricks.
00:15:18.000 He was going to pull this, and the arm was going to move.
00:15:21.000 That is exactly what's going to happen.
00:15:23.000 Yeah, but you can't sleep if you're worried about my tricks.
00:15:26.000 I can. I just happened you weren't ninja enough.
00:15:30.000 I heard something.
00:15:31.000 Something was going on. It was this buckle.
00:15:33.000 Some buckle movement.
00:15:39.000 I will never be allowed to have a Swiss bank account.
00:15:43.000 They basically said, oh, that's very interesting.
00:15:45.000 Oh, you have lots of money? No.
00:15:47.000 Gambling, high-risk industry, pornography, high-risk industry, webcam girls, strip clubs, all the things that I do, high-risk industries, plus I have an American passport.